Kiesel’s story highlights destructive parentification, a form of emotional abuse or neglect where a child becomes the caregiver to their parent or sibling. This is common in African and Caribbean immigrant households, where the eldest daughter often supports her siblings. This study examines whether Black mothers are more likely than Latina or White mothers from the same community to:
Raising Black children for resilience, resistance, and joy requires understanding the conditions that shape Black identities and experiences.
Black parents face unique challenges as they raise healthy and well-adjusted kids. 12 parents share their experiences using multi-informant data from 134 two-parent African American families. The goals of this study were to describe parent-adolescent warmth and shared time as a function of these factors.
Children indirectly shape their brothers’ and sisters’ characteristics and behaviors by serving as sources of social comparison and from a lack of economic disparity. The eldest daughter syndrome is described as the unofficial, unpaid role of managing the family dynamic foisted upon women from a young age.
Eldest daughters experience the most pressure as their parents try to figure out parenting through trial and error for the first time. Parentification is when a child leaves their role to act like a parent or caregiver.
Respect due to an elder is a lesser version of that due to a parent, and this respect and deference is proportional to the age gap. A Black mother of two daughters talks about how gentle parenting can heal generational wounds.
📹 Eldest Daughters Let’s Talk: Being Your Parent’s Spouse & Parenting Your Siblings
In today’s conversation we’re going to be talking about that eldest daughter syndrome, and the low down on sibling relationships.
What is parentification of siblings?
In some cases, parentification is directed towards siblings, whereby a child assumes the role of primary caregiver for a sick or disabled sibling.
What happens to parentified children when they grow up?
Parentified children often grow up unaware of their own needs and wants, as they learn that their needs and wants are more important than those of their caregivers. This can lead to a lack of understanding of their passions, friends, and romantic relationships, which may require therapy. Additionally, parentified children may be drawn to relationships that require excessive demands, as they are used to doing so much in their parent’s relationships.
What happens to a parentified child as an adult?
Parentified children often experience emotional neglect, as they must prioritize their own needs over those of their parents and siblings. This habit can persist into adulthood. However, being a parentified child can lead to unexpected advantages, such as Elyse becoming a successful therapist and mental health advocate. Elyse’s parents struggled to understand how to help their daughter, leading her to become a successful therapist.
Jay, a parentified child, has also experienced benefits, becoming a close and loving brother, uncle, and son. He attends sporting events and is the primary caretaker of his aging father, making him well-loved and excellent at caregiving and giving to others.
What is emotional parentification?
Emotional parentification is a phenomenon where a teenager fulfills their parents’ emotional and psychological needs, leading to an unhealthy role reversal. This can be challenging for teenagers, as it can result in the parentified child serving as a confidante or providing crisis intervention. Signs of emotional parentification include being relied on for emotional, physical, or mental support, conflict resolution, or mediating between parents.
Is parentification a mental illness?
Parentification, or growing up too fast, is a phenomenon where a child takes on parental responsibilities for their siblings or parents, causing damage to their mental well-being and potentially leading to long-term mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. Emotional parentification is more complex and challenging for children, while instrumental parentification involves children being tasked with chores and responsibilities that are not appropriate for their age group, such as grocery shopping, cooking meals, paying bills, and caring for sick siblings or parents. Both types of parentification can negatively impact a child’s mental health and overall well-being.
What is the golden daughter syndrome?
Golden Child Syndrome is a condition where a child is constantly praised and pushed to be perfect, often due to parental pressure. This can lead to feelings of isolation, stress, and confusion, as well as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The syndrome can last a lifetime, as children may feel they are never good enough and constantly seek praise. This can negatively impact relationships, as they may expect the same perfection from others.
This blog will explore the symptoms, development, and causes of Golden Child Syndrome, as well as coping mechanisms for those affected. It will also provide advice on fostering positive family relationships and handling potential emotional consequences.
What are the symptoms of parentified child in adults?
Adults who were emotionally parentified as children often experience intense feelings of rejection, anxiety, and similar patterns of care and receiving nothing back in romantic relationships. Research has shown that different types of parentification can impact school achievement, quality of life in early adolescence, and the burdens of parentified children in families with insecure attachment patterns. Relieving these burdens is crucial for addressing the developmental implications of parentification on childhood attachment.
Is parentification narcissism?
Narcissistic parentification involves emotional and instrumental parentification, where a child is assigned a role by the parent, such as the golden child, invisible child, parentified child, or scapegoat. The child is treated as perfect, forgotten, or blamed for everything. The narcissistic parent projects an identity onto the child, and if they step outside, they are silently treated, punished, humiliated, and emotionally abandoned. This behavior becomes normalized and passed down through generations, causing trauma and causing the need for change.
What is the eldest daughter syndrome?
Eldest daughter syndrome is a condition characterized by a strong sense of responsibility, a need for control, and the heavy weight of parents’ expectations. It can manifest in various behaviors such as perfectionism, struggling with same-age relationships, resentment towards family, putting others before oneself, people-pleasing behaviors, anxiety, and depression. However, some oldest female siblings may experience eldest daughter trauma, which can lead to long-term emotional and mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, guilt, burnout, and low self-esteem.
Despite the challenges faced by some oldest female siblings, eldest daughter syndrome acknowledges the challenges faced by some oldest female siblings but does not necessarily imply trauma or long-term psychological harm.
To heal from eldest daughter syndrome, it is crucial to make healthy changes in one’s life, including making healthy changes to cope with the mental health effects of being the oldest daughter.
What is the eldest daughter curse?
“Eldest daughter syndrome” is a phenomenon where the oldest daughter in a family faces unique challenges and responsibilities that can shape her personality and mental health. Despite not being a formal diagnosis, it has gained attention on platforms like TikTok, fostering community and understanding among those affected. Everyone deserves accessible therapy, including oldest daughters, to understand and support their unique circumstances.
When siblings act like parents?
Parentification is when a child leaves their role as a caregiver to act as a parent or caregiver. This can lead to problems, as older siblings raising younger ones can create issues. Emma Darvick, who was often complimented on her maturity and ability to handle responsibility, realized that being so mature at a young age wasn’t always a good thing. At the age of 12, she became the keeper of her younger sibling during their parents’ divorce. She would report back to her parents as an intermediary, and her stays away from home became more about creating the right environment for her sibling.
As a teenager, her biggest worries were not just about party attire or exams, but also about her parents’ lives, financial issues, and her sibling’s upbringing. This led to her feeling uncomfortable around people her own age, as she felt like she had nothing in common with them.
📹 They Ridiculed Him When He Adopted Two Black Siblings. Years Later, They Begged For Their Help…
They Ridiculed Him When He Adopted Two Black Siblings. Years Later, They Begged For Their Help… Note: All stories are …
Being the eldest daughter and the only daughter in my family who grew up in a patriarchal family is the reason I don’t want to have kids. I sacrificed my childhood to raise my little brother (who I love dearly) . I’m only 22 but I’m tired. No gives you room to be a child. So I’m the adult who doesn’t let ppl in anymore cuz I feel like everyone in my life drains the life out of me.
I’m Asian but reading these comments make me tear up.. I’m an elder sister of 3. My siblings and I have a quite difference in an age gap. Dysfunction is rather complicated to understand. I sought help professionally because I’ve noticed negative behaviors within myself that literally affected the way I saw life now that I grew up. It sometimes feel like you’re the parent and you don’t have room to be a daughter and a child with normalcy. I haven’t felt this way since the younger siblings were born. I love all of them to bits, I would take a bullet for them but sometimes, I’d like to be given a break emotionally too. I’m 18 and seeing women all over the world share their experiences makes me feel less alone in this. I’m so proud for all of you for the strength you all possess.
Oof. I recognise parentification all too well as a child of a Jamaican single mother. Jamaicans tend to be so overly concerned with public image- as well as the opinions of friends, family and relatives- that our kids are deprived of healthy expression and necessary exploration. The girls were/are expected to ALWAYS be “well-behaved”, and this has led many Jamaican women to come off emotionally hardened and all too willing to fake a smile. I was gaslit my entire childhood; my sadness, frustration, disappointment were NEVER justified in my family’s/relatives’ eyes. Because our mom couldn’t afford childcare, I was forced to parent my younger sibs (and myself) 6 days a week and was the most present figure in their lives. As their unwilling role model and nanny, I was also punished for their mistakes (this understandably led to some resentment toward my poor sibs.) Even my academic excellence was a double-edged sword; report cards had to be perfect. And as if black girls’ bodies aren’t policed enough- I was set to break the teen mom cycle so they damn near had me under lock and key. On and on, I suffocated in silence; developing a people pleasing default, tendency to overwork, and fear of failure along the way. I’m glad to say I’ve broken out of the mold, and I’m creating me. 🤎
Man this is deep. I found that this affected me even in friendships. Because I was so used to giving to wherevever there was need within the household, I ended up doing that within my friendships too. I used to feel as though, like a parent, my absence would cause chaos. Thank God I freed myself from that. I’m now learning that’s it’s okay to receive and be the one who is being taken care of. Love you guys a lot and the work you’re doing.
This is a term I had recently learned “parentification”. And the genesis of parentification is essentially taking on or being placed with adult responsibilities as a child. This is too real in African households, and it’s not always just placed on the eldest child or eldest girl, younger siblings can also be saddled with this.
I think the worse part fir me is the denial of the trials as an eldest daughter is. You’ve denied and rejected the experience I have had as an eldest daughter. It builds so much more resentment than the initial eldest daughter resentment. Especially since my sister is only a year younger but the treatment between us is soooo different. Also if you haven’t been a high achiever it makes you carry around guilt and insecurity.
I typed in last night “oldest daughter” and your podcast came up. I’m at 29:55 and oh my goodness I am filled with so many emotions: sadness and anger because it’s so unfair what we go through and it’s worst when you can’t fully live your life because you’re super responsible, hearing that the way you were brought up turned out well and it is good for everyone. Lol so much is boiling inside that I can’t fully express. I pray that I won’t do this to my daughter because it sucks. I need a therapist fr fr 🙃
You went for the jugular with this one😭😭 I’m the eldest/firstborn daughter of my mother’s children and it’s always a struggle to draw the line between being a sibling versus being a mother. At what cost?! Say it louder for those in the back 🔊📢🗣️ Look at Renee multilingual out here 😂 Having siblings is the best gift our parents gave us but working through our parents’ failures in being there for us and being the parents they should have been is a rollercoaster to say the least. Thank you for bringing light to such a pertinent subject. Eldest daughters everywhere are quaking 😁
I’m not an elder sibling, I’m actually a younger one and I really love this episode because it helps me understand my elder sister more. Lately I’ve been wondering why she is beginning to mother me for all the nits and grits which can be bad and good but it has started to create an unhealthy relationship between us. Please do a younger sibling episode so I can understand the dynamic between the two.
I am in an extremely Christian household. Holding the mental, physical and soon financial stability of my siblings and parents. Being forced to mature and the realization of what role I played in my family came to me around 14/15 years old. I am now 18. I was the parental figure to my family without knowing consciously about it. Up to that point in my brain, everything I was experiencing was normal. Realizing your parents’ failures and getting over the resentment alone, was so difficult. Acknowledging that no matter how good or how bad you are you won’t ever have them as parents. Now I barely turned 18 and the mental pressure is insane, the expectation to not fail and not being allowed to fail. I fall out of line in the smallest form and get absolutely destroyed for it. Shielding my siblings is what was a learning curve for me. Rent was due, my parents were stressing me about bills, my teachers about school, interpersonal relationships were falling apart. Yet I had to ball all that up force it down the closet and give support to my sister for failing a small quiz. Its mind boggling the mental cartwheels one has to take to give a fuck. I won’t deny it helped me, but like it’s said at. what. cost.? I could probably rant about how much family has failed me and the struggles of finding how to give a fuck. But yea. I always wonder how and if I’ll ever rest
I didn’t even know I had an eldest sister until I was 8. My parents left her in Africa when they moved to the US and then she just showed up one day. There has always been this weird relationship with her. They never mentioned her. She did everything my parents wanted, became a doctor, etc. Her friends are her family. She never comes to visit me, but she will fly to the same state that I live in to see her friends. For her 35th bday she had a big party, and then didn’t even invite any of her siblings. I always invite her to stuff but she will make up some excuse as to why she can’t come. I wish there was group therapy for African families because when I tell you there are layers of trauma, I don’t even know where to begin to heal it, but at least I have started therapy for myself.
Black American here. it’s like being your mother’s constant emotional/psychological punching bag and/or competition…the damage has done it’s job. I am left psychologically crippled, but my love for my mother will NEVER fade, because I love her more than my own life. It’s the most unconditional love I will ever be able to have, ever
I’m actually the second eldest daughter but I recognized myself in this because my older sister was very rebellious so I had to step up and be the responsible one which is a whole other ordeal because you have your younger ones to look after and not only do your parents depend on you, but my older sister also depended on me to some extent. And then my parents would always compare my older sister to me which is another layer of guilt so I constantly struggled to stay in a place that didn’t make my older sister look bad but still live up to my parent’s expectations so as not to become a “failure.”
“you are denying the child of receiving those things bc you’re using them as a source” we are literally 30min in and you’ve made me cry. The amount of times I’ve tried to explain my relationships with my parents who aren’t together and the closest thing I could think of was that my relationship with my father is like a toxic on again off again relationship with a no good man and my relationship with my mother is like being in a marriage that I didn’t ask for with children that arent mine! You ladies have nailed it on the head. I’m in my 20s now and I’m just now fighting to experience what it means to be a CHILD while still needing to do the adult things I’ve always done.
I’m in tears right now😭.. I had a tough day as the elder daughter of the family. And God people will find any way to guilt trip you into being a heartless, uncaring, selfish human who only gives a shit about herself. And you know the worst part ? I will believe them and take that guilt trip to the point of destroying my own mental peace. At the end of all these weird twists and turns, I always end up questioning myself – Why does everyone expect me to take care of everything when nobody did the same things for me ? Is it just me or does anyone else feel guilty when they put themselves first ? I really wish to know who I am without these roles and expectations to fufill. I wish I can meet the real me who knows herself apart from her titles and trauma.
Yo! I fled the nest, the country and the continent 🙈😂 my relationship with my siblings and mother is under construction. I can’t help but ‘mother’ my sisters whenever we chat My identity is warped by my ‘title’ of being the oldest (trust issues, level of Independence, family relations) but the space was much needed
Thing is, I recognise these things abt being the eldest daughter and all the expectations and burdens inherited by either or even, both parents + everything that culture and the patriarchy expects. And with this, I don’t even know where to begin with growing bc I find myself just disengaging from my parents AND my siblings and just family in general because I recognise that they and the home is the site of the negativity and patriarchy. I’m at a point where i’m literally just gg through the motions of living in the same house as everyone but not really emotionally or mentally engaging w anyone😢 (and i’m a student so can’t really afford therapy)
I cried so much while perusal this. I just realized where my coping mechanism comes from. I have never experienced heartbreak even though I have been in relationships that ended badly, I just have a way of suppressing my emotions. On the last borns remaining last borns forever…first of all, the accuracy😑 I was cooking for the entire family when I was 13 but the last born who is now 13 would come to me when he is hungry and I still have to watch his clothes sometimes, because I cannot allow “my children” go to out with dirty clothes.
Thank you soo much. Like I been an eldest sister all my life, and idk how to be a sister only a mother. Like I’m stressed and I’m only 20. All my teenager years was about be a good roll model and putting want I want second and my family first to the extent it becomes automatic. I am tired I wish I can get away from my responsibility just for a while
That Courtney intro of the Eldest daughter syndrome described me to the dot. I have been unconsciously working on it and until a few months ago I didn’t know this was a legit struggle that many other women go through. As a first generation immigrant and college graduate with a stable professional career, most often I find myself being the one that offers advice and/or economic support for my siblings and parents. I’m so tired of having to be there for everyone. Sometimes I want to take the easy way out, all I wanna do is pack up and leave everyone behind. However, I’m learning how to set boundaries and prioritize my mental and physical health. I’m still helping my family get ahead, but little by little I’m learning how to do it from a healthy place where I also get to enjoy my life.
I’m the eldest sibling and a daughter in my family. I used to be really close with my younger sister(middle child), and I would try to guide her towards making right decisions because… her decisions have been destructive to her mentally. Once I backed off of her due to an argument we had, and she called me a “Deadbeat sister”, I was done. I care about the well beings of my siblings and I don’t want them to suffer through horrible decisions. But she has to learn that way, and I have backed off. I apologized for my part in the argument, and I told her I want to take the backseat in the relationship for now. She just cared that she got an apology; she is such a nonapologist. Well, after getting my life together and becoming more mentally healthy, she removed me on all social media. It’s sad, but it is what it is.
WHEW. I’m the oldest daughter as well & share all of these sentiments. I’m having to deal with it in therapy bc it is a long journey to undo my entire childhood lol. I have a daughter (an only child) yet I find myself treating her the same way. I had to pause this article a couple times! while I listen to this- examples of how I’m treating my daughter the same way were popping into my head. Needless to say this came at the right time. I can start today, treating my daughter different so that she will at least have a different point of view whether she remains an only child or if she ever has siblings. Y’all really said it louder for the people in the back!!!
This episode hits home a lot and I struggle with the “first daughter syndrome” because I am actually the last born, who has the burdens of the first daughters because I happen to be the only one living with my parents in the UK. All the behaviours you described are exactly how I have been in relationships, yes I have been the girl who wants to cook from the second date and “mother” partners. It’s really hard putting my foot down and maintaining my boundaries because I feel mean, I am learning how to slowly though because my lack of boundaries has hurt me a lot so far. This podcast has been great, seeing women my age talking about this with such awareness, grateful for you two.
As the middle child of my siblings I can relate to both having to mother my younger siblings and sorta being parented by my other sibling and y’all were spitting fact. So much trauma which has resulted to me being the child to move out of my parents house and there’s a lack of support from my other siblings. Anyways loved this episode 💛 you guys are great!!!!.
This episode touched an area within that I had no idea about. The fact that I went through each and everyone of these things that you said just blew my mind. Like hey, you’ve been damaged for the past 19years of your life! And honestly I’m really thankful for this episode like I really love all your episodes but this particularly helped me understand that the root of my problems is not growing up in a dysfunctional family but also the eldest daughter issue and funny fact actually no depressing part is😂I’m the first daughter and only daughter in a family of 5😂yall I went through it. My brothers reached a point of calling me mum junior😂😂like guyssss!!!!!!!Nevertheless I’m thankful for this. Bless your hearts x.
Am the first daughter of my patents and I am one of the lucky ones though it was not easy. I was not allowed to go out of the house when is 5pm in the evening while I watch my siblings playing out side. At age 12, my father forbid me going in the kitchen helping my mother. I have to face my study he said and if I could not finish my study meaning getting pregnant, my other siblings, meaning the girls is not going to enter secondary school. You can see the pressure put on me. I help raised my siblings too though we had maids but they left by the time I enter secondary school. Its not an easy journey being a first daughter of a parents in Africa. I just love this platform. I which we all could have a first daughter platform round the world to share our experience with one another. My is a long loving story but this is enough for now. Thanks for thus wonderful topic. You took me back to my childhood. I have two wonderful sons. I told them they can adopt because there are lots of kids out there without parents looking for someone to love them. Am from Nigeria based and live in Europe 🇳🇬
Gosh! Like… what was this? I was postponing perusal this article because I knew it was coming, and as Courtney said, I have problems with admitting momma fail me like that turning me into her husband. I’m always scared to unpack that eldest daughter trauma, but today… YOU DESCRIBED ME. Courtney’s first “ramble” made me rethink my life. But I’m really glad I watched it, made me understand so much more of my current problems, including this sick feud with my dad. And I’m glad I’m a part of this community. I now understand that this culture is international. I’m from Angola and this thought that eldest daughters are obligated to be a full mother to their siblings is very much rooted in our society. I used to think “That’s just how we are” but no. That’s just how we are getting traumatized. And one of the sickest things happens when this eldest daughter is not even a biological child of the couple and is there to “help”, or rather be exploited in exchange of a “better life”, they call it. That’s another subject to digest for me!
I’m a second born and my parents divorced 10years ago, my older sister took the role of the parent I’ve been feeling nervous about uni because I didn’t want to be patented by her because it caused me to shut down in the past, spiritually and it made me scared to tell her about my relationship because of things she said in the past .I think it’s bard to have freedom sometimes but I’m realising that our lives are different and that is okay and she is my sister and we should continue to grow in knowing that .This podcast helped me to see her perspective but realise we have work to do…
Middle child here(with an older sister). This episode was the one! I have so many things to say about the parallel relationship between her and I. But the most pressing one is the lack of boundaries to even see me as an individual and not your shadow. U touched on everything. Including how then the mother sees you *if she even does at all😪
I’m in college and I have been for about 8 months. I’m the oldest sister and sibling and their discussion accounted for things I didn’t even know were happening in my life and helped me actually see what happened in my life. I appreciate this so much! I feel like I understand myself a little better and I need to keep up with my little brothers. So cool
I’m the youngest and was parented by my elder sister.. it’s the amount of guilt I have carried my whole life.. I see the unfairness for my sister and it pains me.. I’ve done the work to be a better sister and it has been very fruitful.. however, my biggest issue would be the burden to kind of make up for the dysfunction.. I kind of feel like I need to accept bad behaviour or resentment from her.. there are things that I need that I know my Mom wouldn’t provide that I feel guilty asking from her because she shouldn’t have to play that role.. I struggle with feeling alone often and like I don’t have anyone in my corner.
My friend recommended me this podcast and wow l’m so glad I listened to it like the tea that was spilled, i could relate with so much that was being said and like being an older sister was actually not easy like now being 20 year of age i can see the trauma manifesting in my friendships and chileee i still have a long way to go, heal …. But thank you very much sisters l’m happy im joining the family
I was the eldest daughter of four siblings, parented my parents, myself and my siblings, fought jeolousy from my mother and father, while coping with my problems alone. Now, three of my siblings are older and I got blamed and rejected by each one of the, inlcuding my parents that I was the problem and i was never enough. Now I am alone, in my 20s figuring life out.
I’m a younger daughter with an older brother, but have had a similar experience to elder daughters. The youngest sibling experience has never felt as relatable to me. My parents parentified me and also expected me to be a mediator in their conflicts since I was young. It’s made me favour being single because relationships always seemed like they were not mutually beneficial and they seem like they require too much effort and energy. Also my brother was allowed to do so much and got away with a lot and they were stricter with me and expected more from me (eg. Getting better marks, not misbehaving etc). Also the parentifying has resulted in me often being the mother hen/fairy squad mother of the group. It’s such a weird experience 😅
Never felt so seen or heard in my life. No matter where i search or what self help journey i go on, there’s always been some form of gap of understanding between them and my situation. You have described my role as elder sister so perfectly and just the description is healing alone. I want to thank you.
This is so relatable. Except I’m the last born and have always felt resentment from my sister. (eldest of 3) Even now she tries to parent me and my partner and were just like-no. We’re not interested. My parents have always had a difficult relationship. From an early age I remember them not being around. Dad was a bank manager and mum the lead nurse in a maternity ward. So we had nanny’s. I remember mum asking my sister to take me along and she would refuse. She would always ditch me. So I ended up hanging out with my brother and that’s how he and I become so close. Whereas with my sister. We are not. It’s more like acquaintances than anything. It’s not for lack of trying. She just honestly doesn’t want to hang out or get to know me. I remember growing up and mum being like you have to do well-think about how others will think of me! (and not offering reassurance to me) I remember getting a bad report. Felt crap and her response was – how am I supposed to tell my friends about this? And it struck a cord. Everytime had an issue. She didn’t care. Always made it about how she felt etc. I recently had a health scare. Told her about it and she made a joke, offered no advice or reassurance. And when I turned to my sister she told me she was too busy. (for context – the doctors found a clot behind my eye and I needed driving to the clinic and she refused-said its not her job) It hurt, but honestly. It just confirmed what I’ve always felt.. with people. It’s just best to meet them where they’re at and not where you want or hope they’d be.
At least ur parents have acknowledged ur work! Mine give me no credit for it! As the oldest child and daughter of the family, I have younger brothers and sister to take care of. My sister and I share a 16 year age gap! Now that Im a full blown adult and can have children of my own; Im still having to discipline my sister bc my mom is too lazy to do so. And if I attempt to train my sister to be kinder and less-spoiled, I get yelled at for doing so. Yet if there are any shortcomings in my sister–I am BLAMED for “spoiling her” just for taking her on occasional days out. It is frustrated to be gaslighted by ur own family and treated as an adult child.
This. This. This! Sisters I promise this one opened my eyes and freed me because I feel so seen. I am dealing with the jealous mother, parenting my parents (and undoing parenting to a younger sibling I live with). I am the one who cooks for the bachelors and I never understood why it wasn’t a value outwardly as I felt it was inwardly and I GET it now. This… and you both speak soooo intelligently! Like I know you are like DUHHH but it’s really people out here having a hard time talking correctly and concise and you do it so effortlessly and throughout the entire podcast. I’m so glad I’m here. ❤️❤️🌼🌼🌼
I’m the eldest of 7 starting at age 7, fully parentified and have remained childfree as well as single. I know the HEAVY trauma I experienced shaped me a lot and now, in my 40s, I’m working on it but I still don’t have a real relationship with any of my siblings. Mentally they still treat me like another parent when in family gatherings, so I still keep my distance. They don’t like me, never have, and never will per their words/actions. So i just stay away and try to work on me, being there when they need me but there’s going to always be a wall between us.
I know it’s long but I would love some good advice❤️: As an elder sister, how can you pursue your younger sister if she doesn’t live in the same state? My sister and have quite a good age gap. She’s 14 and I’m 23. I’m old enough to give her good advice but young enough for us to still relate and like some of the same things. My sister has been trying to reach out in her own annoying way but I have been stressed, depressed, and living my life in college for the past 5 years. Many times I didn’t have time to build a relationship with her over the years. I was either living my life, stressing over assignments, or just going through normal growing pains of being in your early 20’s. I am prone to depressive episodes which make it really hard for me to put in the consistent effort that is needed to build a relationship with her. I love my sister and I want to be the older sister that she can come to for anything that I never had. However, especially dealing with post graduation depression and now trying to build my life, I feel like I just don’t have the time or energy to do it. Currently, I am very much “in and out” of her life. I consistently call and talk with her and then I fall off because I have hit a depressive episode or am just stressed about all of the responsibilities I have as a woman in her early 20’s. I want to be able spend more time with her as a friend but the distance doesn’t help. I have visited her an every time I leave she always begs to know when I’ll come back or when she will see me again.
Yall i didnt know where to write this, i have a little brother and its so bothering, do you girls know any tips you can give me, i sure do love him with all my hearth but he can’t play alone, not even a second he demands attention AlL the time, i don’t know what to do, i dont want him to feel alone but im tired, of everything, do you know any websites or any ways i can make him entretained without putting a screen over his face, because i know that wont be any good for him, i am 16 and hes 4, do tou have any advice?
22:04 at the elder daughter’s tears, sweat & hard work, obviously physical, sometimes even financial & emotional expense or spiritual high cost especially when not fully or completely living the childhood or teenage cool dreams or being burnout from such a tender age to even continue your feminine basketball or volleyball international competitions also sponsored in various fine countries or even work efficiently for that scholarship when you’re tired from cooking, cleaning, doing math, physics or french lessons tutoring plus homeworks for the younger sibling or other friends or cousins too all of this while also having major covert health conditions or problems, very toxic relationships, dysfunctional family plus various sexual predators lurking around to protect yourself & even the disobeying yet financially pampered by your distant parents spoiled more reckless sibling so spare me the congratulations but I hold no resentment just major disappointments, some persistent regrets & their heavy emotional betrayals traumas…
This has been a very long story…..one that should be listened to,I am a black man married to a white Canadian lady…we are aware of various situations in our lives after 53 years of marriage,,,but we were Extremely lucky throughout our lives and met some very lovely people along the way…we are grateful, Very grateful for the very many beautiful people along the way…..
Wow amazing story of kindness by Justine who found the kids on the street. People who are prejudiced against him are narrowed minded and discriminated. God bless Justine for adopting the two kids. Justine was a real gentleman. He see the kids as human beings need love and the colour of their skin mean nothing. I can’t believe the pastor told Justine the prejudice other people told him. He should be supporting because God sees everyone as same. There is no special for white people. I don’t know where and how white people think they are superior to colour people. If God sees us as the same how white race think they are better than colour people? Ridiculous and discrimination. Justine is one in million.
Why isn’t anyone even attempting to run after these accomplished young people to create love bonds? Their only future is as pillars of the community? Helping the same people who ridiculed them with no legacy of their own? Their goodness will die with them? They will make wonderful parents, not just martyrs
Prayer is needed for the racist and prejudice people in our 🌎. They obviously do not have a relationship with God (1John 4:8) need to listen to Jesus ( Matthew 17:5) Our Heavenly Father lives ALL of us as HIS children who choose to draw close to HIM ( James 4:8); Our Heavenly Father is not partial ( Acts 10:34,35). We are to imitate Jehovah and His Son Jesus. ( Ephesians 5:1) May All come to know GOD as Our creator and His Son,Jesus loves. 🙏❤
U KNOW WHAT JUS TIN DID WAS A BLESSING FROM GOD & HE’LL ALWAYS BE BLESSED BY COUNTLESS OTHERS 2. THOSE THAT OPPOSED HIM ADOPTING ARE “SAD SORRY PEOPLE WITH NO REAL HEART”CAUSE THEY’RE IGNORANT TO WHAT TRUE LOVE IS & ALL I FEEL IS PITY/SORROW 4 THEM. RACISM IS A SERIOUSLY-SICK-ILLNESS & I PRAY THAT THE GOOD LORD TOUCH THEM & HAVE MERCY ON THEIR SOULS🙏🏾.