Parents often desire to have beautiful children, a desire called calipedia (in Greek Kallipaidia). This desire can lead to feelings of hope and frustration during pregnancy. Parental well-being has implications for child well-being, fertility, and society more broadly. Parenting strains are defined as felt difficulties with the demands and conflicts within the family.
An appropriate attitude towards their children’s flourishing is characterized by an attitude of hope, accompanied by reasonable expectations. Parents’ hopes and fears for their children structure their lives and livelihoods. Listening to parents adds insights beyond the traditional approach.
Research suggests that warm parenting that provides children with age-appropriate autonomy and structure is key for a healthy and prosperous development. Three major factors often explain differences in parenting style: emotional warmth versus hostility, parental engagement, and support types.
Parents’ main desire is for their children to succeed and outshine them in every way possible. Both parents are given huge hope about their child’s future, such as becoming a doctor or becoming a doctor. If their needs are met and time is spent with them, parents are on a good path to a better future.
Parents are most concerned about their children’s mental health, financial stability, and job satisfaction. They want a wide variety of options and experiences, as that correlates in their minds to the broad set of outcomes. Parents desire space and time for kids to pursue individual, passion-based learning projects and incorporate more movement.
The vast majority of parents enjoy parenting, find it rewarding, and see it as a key part of their identities.
📹 Jordan Peterson: Society Forgot This About the Role of a Mother
It takes a lot of effort to provide added educational value by selecting the videos for this channel, philosophyinsights. Usually …
What do parents want most for their children?
A new survey from the Pew Research Center reveals that parents are most concerned about their children’s mental health, financial stability, and job satisfaction as adults. The majority of parents believe that these aspects are very or extremely important to them. The survey of 3, 700 parents revealed that 4 in 10 parents were extremely or very worried about their children struggling with anxiety or depression, with bullying being the next biggest concern.
The survey also revealed that marriage, having children, and going to college were not as high on the parental wish list. The findings highlight the importance of mental health and financial stability in shaping children’s lives.
What do many parents want for their children?
Parents desire their children to be happy, healthy, and emotionally fulfilled, experiencing joy, positive relationships, and a sense of belonging. They also want their children to achieve their full potential academically, professionally, and personally, excelling in their endeavors and reaching their goals. Parents also want their children to continuously grow, learn, and develop as individuals, acquiring knowledge, skills, and experiences that contribute to their self-improvement.
Which child do parents favor the most?
Research suggests that last-born children are more likely to be chosen for emotional closeness than middle or first-born children. The strongest predictor for emotional closeness is the parent’s feelings of the child being similar to them. Differential treatment can lead to poor sibling relationships, less-favored sibling feeling more inadequate, and less positive relationships with the parent. Open conversations about feelings of favoritism can help prevent such issues. Even disputes between siblings can lead to feelings of favoritism, highlighting the importance of understanding and addressing these feelings.
What do parents wish for their children?
BabyNome, an Indiegogo campaign, aims to revolutionize the way we view children’s health and nutrition by analyzing DNA information from their saliva. The campaign uses saliva samples to identify genetic characteristics that may predispose an individual to vitamin and mineral deficiencies. This innovative approach could significantly change the way we approach children’s health and provide the appropriate nutrition based on their individual needs. This could lead to a healthier and more enjoyable life for all children.
What makes parents love their kids so much?
The bond between a parent and their newborn infant may be influenced by biological factors. During the bonding process, the parent experiences a surge of hormones, which may be further reinforced as the child grows.
Why do parents love their youngest child the most?
Dr Vijayeti Sinh, a clinical psychologist at Mount Sinai Hospital, explains that parents often favor a youngest child due to the social and emotional skills associated with birth order. As parents gain more experience in child-rearing, they have a better idea of how they want to shape their offspring’s childhood and what attributes are most important to pass on. Younger children are likely to have been raised by a parent who is more confident and skilled in their child-rearing over time. However, many parents feel guilty about showing a preference, as it will have a long-lasting impact on their child’s sense of self-worth.
What do mothers want for their child?
A mother’s ultimate goal for her children is to teach them to love, be loved, unselfishly, and lavishly. Despite differences in parenting styles across different countries, the same basic values are shared. One of the top priorities for mothers is emotional health. A strong emotional foundation helps children weather life’s challenges and grow in empathy. Fostering emotional intelligence is a top priority for mothers today. In Japan, there is no summer break from school, while Northern Ireland has a Pinterest-free birthday party.
In Norway, school kids play outside unless the temperature is below 14 degrees. Despite these differences, the same basic values remain. By focusing on emotional health, mothers can help their children navigate life’s challenges and grow in empathy.
What will make parents most happy?
Parents may not be mobile or enjoy driving alone, so taking them to appointments, stores, or activities can be a great way to bond with them. Turn off the radio while driving and use this time to talk and catch up on your lives. This will help bond on a more mature level. Make a day of it by taking your parents to every place and treating them to lunch or dinner. If you don’t live near your parents, take time to write a thoughtful letter and mail it to them. This is a nice surprise and can be a nice surprise for them. For help writing a letter, check out wikihow. com/Write-a-Friendly-Letter for suggestions.
Which parent does a child love more?
Babies often prefer their primary caregiver, especially after six months of separation anxiety. This can lead to parental burnout if the primary caregiver takes on more daily caregiving duties, even when another caregiver is available. This can result in exhaustion, stress, and resentment, impacting a parent’s well-being and the quality of time spent with their child. To address this issue, consider implementing strategies that allow one parent to take on more daily baby chores while still maintaining their child’s parental preferences.
Do mothers love their first child more?
A recent study has revealed that the eldest child is actually the most liked by their parents. The study, which asked pairs of teenage siblings no more than four years apart, found that the eldest sibling is favoured by their parents. This is a significant change from the traditional belief that the youngest child is the favorite, as the eldest sibling is often expected to set an example for their younger siblings.
Which child is usually the least favorite?
The majority of Americans, particularly the youngest children, report being their parents’ favorite, with 38% of them reporting this, especially boys. Middle children are less likely to believe they were a favorite, with only 20% believing they were. Men who were the youngest also report being the family favorite, while women who were middle children are less likely to believe they were.
Parental favoritism can have lasting negative effects on relationships, personal self-esteem, and social connections. Americans who grew up in families with a favorite child were less close to their siblings than those who did not. Only 30% of those who believed their parents had a favorite child felt very close to their siblings.
Moreover, Americans are more likely to report having a positive relationship with their parents when they did not perceive them as having a preferred child. Over two-thirds of Americans who say their parents did not have a favorite child report being very or completely satisfied with their relationship, while less than half of those who believe their parents had a favorite report being satisfied. Even those who believe they were the favorite do not report having as close a relationship with their parents as those who do not have a favorite child.
📹 How To Maintain The Value Of Parents In Society
Recently, it seems that people don’t think much about family or parents as much as we used to and this can be detrimental to our …
My son introduced me to you Jordan and I’ve introduced every Uber I’ve had since to you .I didn’t grow up with parents so needed allot of grace at 17 while attempting to me the perfect mother without a learners permit . My dreams for my son since his birth shaped my choices for his future I told him he’d be president one day / when we were homeless living in a tent I told him it was because when he got older and ran for his presidency that the average person would vote for him because they would know he understood what it was like to struggle I told him God worked in ways we don’t always understand That God uses all things for a good . I believe my baby boy help me survive in abusive marriage poverty despair . Some thought I was uppity having such high hopes still I was so proud to be his mom that God chose me being a kid myself I think I wanted for him that which I’d never seen an an option for me . I wanted to change the world in big ways & if I couldn’t I’d raise a son with the ethics morals and humanity worthy of the Oval Office. Today he is 39 his home is paid for he owns two businesses and is looking at purchasing a third He has done all of this in less then a decade by himself He’s a great man If I could give him anything for his birthday it would be lunch with you Jordan his birthday is May 5th He went to see you in Boston we live in Maine You’re one of his heroes God bless you
Mothers have a distinct role. A nurturer, disciplinarian and teacher, helper, meek and sweet attitude. Dads have a distinct role. A provider, protector and discipline holder. They compliment and help each other. That’s why kids who have been raised in those families with loving discipline and security of both don’t seem to have the same issues as much as the ones a single homes or homes where the roles are different or switched.
It’s so interesting that so many people are idealizing and obsessing about becoming a parent, Prof. Peterson included. That’s quite an elitist and discriminatory mindset. I assure you, a person can absolutely mature and not be selfish and have a meaningful purposeful life even without even having children. May I remind you that Jesus himself never became a father. There’s also a lot of bravery and mercy in intentionally deciding TO NOT bring another soul into this world. How is it not selfish to have children only because of the fear to be alone in your old age?
I experienced other people liking my babies. I had four sons in the 1970s. I felt frustrated that I didn’t get my university degree during those years, but at the age of 49, I earned an Associate of Arts Degree with student loans. I have say, that the years I spent at home with our sons were the best of my life. My most gratifying feelings come from perusal our sons achieve good things by working hard and being honest and reliable. I enjoyed my university courses later in life. What you say is true.
I see this all the time as a teacher. The majority of mothers don’t let their children take accountability for their actions, shield them from redirection, or maybe even suffering . It’s very damaging as I’m worried about my students and if they will be able to maneuver in the real world outside of the four walls we do have
As a woman I felt I would miss something essential to being human when I struggled with infertility. Not being able to become a mother seemed to me the tragedy of my life. Thankfully the miracle happened and I have a son. I cried for joy when I found out I’m pregnant and I’ve also cried for realizing I would never ever be a free person anymore, my life will forever mean the responsability of raising and caring and worrying for that life I brought into the world. Trying to be a good mother is overwhelming me every day but I can’t think of anything else that would give my life more meaning.
There is nothing in life more rewarding and fulfilling then having children. Its as if the secret of life is suddenly revealed to you. As women we are blessed with the ability to create a life. Yes its difficult to juggle a career and raise a family and it requires alot of sacrifice, but the love and joy you receive in return is immeasurable.
Motherhood is my biggest responsibility, greatest joy & the thing that brings the most meaning to my life. If we used pain & suffering as a reason not to do things we wouldn’t do anything .. at least nothing worthwhile. Love is painful, relationships are hard but we don’t get refined without a little pressure & chipping away. I never for a minute considered not having kids.. definitely not because the world is so awful… I always imagined the infinite potential my kids brought into the world & how they can make an impact. As Christ followers that impact is for the kingdom not just the present material world. That’s not to say there’s something wrong w/you if you don’t have kids but I personally can’t imagine my life any other way.
Just yesterday someone asked me if I ever worked. I am 54, raised 3 kids. I said I was a mother and wife. He said that didn’t count. Staying at home while someone else worked hard doesn’t count, he said. Then he said “haven’t you heard of child care?” As if I chose a lazy approach to life instead of pushing my children into creche. I breastfed fully made homemade meals and was there for cuddles and chats whenever my kids wanted me. I was judged back then for staying at home, and will continue to be judged.
Lord, may Dr. Peterson come to the full, spiritual realization of just how powerful his own musings are and how You, Lord, have given us archetypal figures in vast ways since the beginning… all for the sake of us understanding who You are. May he be struck by the profound beauty of Your creation and its intricate microcosms, thus struck by YOUR unspeakable perfection. 💜
I grew up without a mother but was raised by emotionally absent grandparents, who antagonized me all through out my life even though im alllowed to live in their house i still know those pains had an effect on my young mind im 24 now still living here but ive been slowly vut successfully reconstructing my life and mental state to have a fighting chance at a amazing life that i can be myself and exhibit a warrior spirit through mma to prove anything is possible no matter how bleak the situation seems i know some poor soul has it worse then me But i definetly wonder how i would have turned out if i had the typical mom and dad
Also remember: You are not promised a healthy baby. I could not cope with a child with special needs. I spent my childhood raising my brother with special needs because my mom was a drug addict. Now I work as a support worker for people transitioning from prison to the community. I help people whose parents fucked up. I would rather dedicate my life to ministering to the needs of the people in my community than have a baby. There are other ways to grow up than have a kid. I couldn’t support people as effectively as I do if I hadn’t done some growing up. I also couldn’t do my job as well as I do if I had a baby or child. Because I have that time at home to rest, I am more effective at work. Also currently studying to be a social worker. I love people, just don’t want to be a mother. I serve a higher power and I’m on the path I’m supposed to be and that path has not led me to motherhood.
I recommend the book “Hail, Holy Queen” by Scott Hahn for a closer look at Mary, her motherhood and “yes”, as well as a bunch of little gems. It’s a short and easy read but so valuable – it was truly life-changing for me as a Catholic convert. In my old Protestant church they would talk so much about Catholics being evil and worshipping Mary but this book opened my eyes to how good of an example she is, especially for me as a woman. It was also the first book/thing to make me realise that I too am considered a child of God, and that technically Jesus is my brother – I laugh often when I compare my biological brothers to Him, but it’s a comfort to look at Him there on the cross and know that He did it for me too. I loved that Dr. Peterson brought up the example He makes for men of not resenting the world even when you are harmed by it – very well put and a lesson that is deeply needed today. Wonderful article, just wanted to add onto it with another great resource 🙂
Thanks. Peterson starts lectures without knowing how they’ll end. Sometimes, he doesn’t know the course, but counts himself able and navigates his way. Jordon often teaches as much in his diversions as the main topics. He is an interesting and exciting lecturer sharing some passion. Thanks for sharing this.
I haven’t met a single woman who grew up by being a mother, rather they sacrificed their lives and I see them unfulfilled and sad, frustrated… one say she dreamt being empty without children, but you don’t see a bright on her eyes to really sustain that. I have to say Odin’s sacrifice may be way better for those women
My husband and I had our 4 girls while we were in our twenties. We are in our thirties now and when our youngest is 18 I will be 45 and my husband will be 42. I could be a grandma and I have friends who have young kids at that age! We are so glad We chose to spend our twenties building our family- we were very poor, but we were in love and we put everything we had into our family. We are nurses now and very financially stable. We both write and have a full life. But I always, always, always say- it doesn’t matter how many lives I save, how many books I publish, or any other grand thing I do- it will never come close to the importance of my role as a mother. Being a mom is the most amazing thing I will ever be
I was recently contemplating other quotes from Jordan Peterson about: thinking of your most noble cause/purpose in life. It came to me that I’m already doing it. As a mother. That made me want to do it so much better than anything in my career, etc. and no longer allow myself to be distracted from anything else I don’t truly care about. and then this article came up on my feed today! 🙌🏼🙌🏼
Motherhood, parenthood is tough. It involves blood sweat and tears – and that’s just the conception! If anyone, male or female, doesn’t want to become a parent then it’s no one else’s business. That, Dr Peterson, is why you get stupid answers: they’re in response to a stupid and rather offensive question. The lady was simply too polite to tell you where to get off.
I also juggled with this …should i have kids … 23 yrs of wedded life..a pair of 18 yr old … I did not have the career that i envisioned..i dont have the figure i wanted..i dont drive the car i like…i didnt travel to places i wanted to see.. NOT FOR A MINUTE when i look back do i think it wasnt worth it ..that it was a sacrifice (i am not and so dont conform to Christian ideals)… I see my kids and think..my heart is full ..being a mother made me a complete human … it was the best thing i ever did .
I saw the title and had to watch… my ex has alienated me from my children. Haven’t been able to see them or talk to them since June 24th. They are my life. My heart has been ripped out. Their father has been to court for contempt 3 times. Dec 2 is going to be the 4th time.. he won’t let them go to a therapist. They now call me the same names he does.. I am a good mom, not perfect. I did sacrifice so much, not complaining I did it out of love. I miss them so much my heart aches every minute of every day!, I need my children back! I am a mom and KNOW they are hurting, I know I feel it! Motherhood is my greatest joy! My greatest pride.
Although my baby gives me a hard time I love being a mom and loving him. He loves me unconditionally and I do too. He drops everything when I walk in the door and I love it. I know it won’t last forever but man being a mother, breastfeeding till he was done with milk and being his world is so important to me the most important thing I’d ever do in life
My husband left me with five children under twelve, I chose to move away to,the bush and rent a small house live without much money but much wealth, I now have five adults who are respectful kind well educated adults, they know the value of money but they also know the value of close family, we are all still close
I really needed to hear this! I’m at the stage of sending my Son out into the World & although I have 2 daughters who are out there doing their best life & they are intelligent loving humans, I worry about my Son as he seems to disagree with alot of the way things are to the point he doesn’t want to get involved or get out there. As a teenager myself I was out going caring & if something didn’t seem right or people were being hurt in some way we’d protest or try change the situation to a better outcome! My Son is also very intelligent & has a cares so much for the things he is interested in & the people but I did worry about him going out into the World buy after seeing this talk today it resonates very deeply & I understand. Thank you💌
I cannot imagine not having children. My two sons are close to 50 now. I have three granddaughters right down the street. Life is good. Lest you think I never worked outside the home, I retired as controller of a company. My sons thanked me for all the sacrifices I made. What sacrifices? Mothers just do what needs doing and get on with life.
Mom’s aren’t admired anymore. When a mom does momly duties they are criticized so badly that being a mom isn’t worth the stress anymore. Moms don’t get the support and praise they deserve. It’s hard being a mom where everything your child does is a reflection of you, even the bad things. I believe I could be a good mom, I just don’t want to deal with the public.
Being a mom was the best and hardest thing I’ve done. My kids are 31, 20 & 20 yo. They are great humans started on their own journey. I tell them to find love and create love by having children. It’s hard but worth it all. It’s normal to question all of this. I’ve always had a god work-life balance so it can be done by picking the right spouse.
I just want to say that there will be no person who will ever love you the way your mom loves you. Working, stay at home, please don’t judge her. She tries to be better than she was yesterday and even though with all her so much she does, she always has that mom guilt. Next time you try to judge a mother, try to imagine yourself in her shoe. She does everything out of love and affection. All mothers are angels!
I have listened to JP’s articles for a few years. He is one of the great intellectuals of our time. However, he seems to be oriented towards a black or white truth based on solid rules, especially when it comes to marriage and having children. It is not correct to say that someone really never matured if they don’t have children because they don’t learn to put some one else first. A person can consciously choose not to have children of their own and yet serve the world and humanity in other meaningful ways, but a person like this has to be aware and grounded in a higher consciousness, a global view of the world and interconnectedness, not needing to bare children necessarily to have a purpose in life. I recognize that This wholistic view is not part of JP’s approach, but otherwise he is a fantastic philosopher and psychologist.
I always wanted to be a mother. I lost my younger son to SIDS when he was just over a month and it was pure pain. Every day is a battle to not become the Oedipal mother to my oldest, and not completely detach myself from him to protect myself from the same pain. I’ve been a loyal listener to Jordan for many years and I can honestly say he has helped me before having children, and it has certainly helped me afterwards.
Good points. I appreciate the intelligence, but…. I feel, I’m quite fed up with men talking about womanhood and motherhood. If only men would talk more about Joseph and earthly fatherhood, taking responsibility, serving God, serving their families, being kind, getting their work done! I’m married to one of those men. But I fear, this sort is getting very rare and it will be hard for my daughter to find one, who is not whining over feminist women, but getting his spine straight, being a speaking, feeling, caring, grown up, emancipated human being. Ej, caramba! 🌋
It could be great, if you have a good husband who actually cares and helps. If they’re abusive, or addicted, or absent in some other way, they make the entire thing so much more difficult. And when you go to family court to protect your kids, you lose them TO the abuser. The courts have been doing this for 40 years. Absolute heartbreak.
I became a mother 2.5 years ago, and I love this role. I love my child more than I have ever loved anyone else in my life. That being said, I strongly disagree with his words. You do not have to be a mother to be a fulfilled, grown woman. There are so many challenges facing mothers today, it is not an easy decision to make. And we are ruining the planet with over population, but my biggest argument would be, everyday at work, I see parent after parent that should not be parents. That I wish would have made the choice to not procreate. I work in children’s community mental health. The things I see, hear and observe everyday are beyond comprehensible to those never having been exposed to this. The stories are so graphic, my husband prefers I do not share them with him. These parents are raising (or not raising) a generation full of trauma, neglect and dysfunctional brains that have a massive effect to society overall. And do you know how many childless women I work with that are putting themselves through this everyday to make a difference in someone else’s child’s life? And it is because they are childless that they are able to do this work to the extent that they do. It is a constant struggle to balance my work life with my mom life. There are always sacrifices being made on both ends. And while we do have a two income household, neither one of us individually make enough to allow the other one to stay home. That is not due to lack of hard work, education or drive, it is due to the cost of living, of which we have no control over.
My kids are smart, conscientious,work, have respect ( even for people who don’t deserve it). Beautiful,generous,disciplined all because of me,Mother. I taught them this, yes my husband did to but mothers who stayed at home because I was lucky I didn’t have to work. I brought up my kids mostly by myself. I had no career. But my children have been worth every moment with me. They are loved by all who know them. A stay at home mother is not respected much either. I sacrificed having a career,travel,expensive things because my kids were more precious to me than all that. Love your Mother and Father he works to have a home. Love them both.❤
I never could understand the concept that we shouldn’t bring a child into this world… I always thought I should bring children into this world and raise them to do better for the world. Imagine what the world would be like if Jordan Petersons mom had thought she shouldn’t have children because the world is unfair… We are all better off for her, I hope I can bring the same essence of light into this world.
I have seven kids. Five boys and two girls. I never asked the question whether it was right to bring forth a child to the world was a the right thing. I knew it was the right thing especially seeing the sadness of those around me without, others with one and not coping but for me there was so much love that every on of my child brought with them and added to my being. Just saying. I am happier now that I am a parent.
Being a mother is a sacrifice, responsibilities and a choice. I chose to opt out due to personal reasons and content with life. Yet receive backlash from parents stating I will never know true love. So apparently my love for my husband, family, friends, serving my church and community isn’t true love 😅
I find the amount of casual judgement of people who don’t align with his ideas of what it means to satisfy a good life quite disturbing. Don’t have children for your own valid reason? -probably not valid enough for this man and youre not a real grown up and never will understand what it truly means – to embody the most holy and respected role of humanity – the mother. My eyes are rolling so hard. Luckily we are all free to think as we do and disagree. I am wary of people who speak to crowds with big words and good presentation skills, as if their words and ideas are true of everyone. Be very cautious of that indeed.
Being a mum at 35 totally shifted my being from work to a mother. And as I wanted my son to be christened I had to attend church for a number of weeks, so on the religious side, every Sunday I walked into church as a single mother, looking at Mary holding Jesus, just connected with me and I would cry, I still have that emotion today whenever I walk into any church. He is now 30 years old.
Honestly I fully regret not prioritizing becoming a mother at a younger age Im 36 years old and I’m 8 weeks pregnant I wish my parents would have taught me to seek meaning rather than to seek material things or a successful career I have had a somewhat rewarding career and I thought well I have done great for myself but nonetheless I felt empty & I truly wasn’t happy with my life I have had failed relationships Until I met a wonderful man that set me straight My priorities have been wrong most of my life I value and cherish being in a healthy loving relationship I am a supporting role at home I look forward to break any vicious cycles from my previous generations so that I raise children that will become responsible adults I want to pass on morality, good judgement & good character I want my children to not be afraid to earn a living and to work hard but overall to value God to value family and to seek meaning and purpose Not to emphasize on happiness and money My husband and I struggled beyond belief at the beginning of our relationship but I tried to give up several times He did not The purpose was to be strong for one another; to have a beautiful life together to build a home from nothing & to have a family our own family when all those around us wanted us to fail God has blessed is beyond what we always dreamed of I don’t have to work anymore but I still do I have supported him and his career and he has accomplished so much I will be able to stay home and be there for my child I look forward each and every day to stay in the same path and to never forget about God even when it seems difficult I will persevere I will be forever grateful that my husband introduced me to Jordan Peterson It has been a blessing ❤️❤️❤️
Dear Jordan, it’s not that women just don’t want to be a mother, it’s because the society is build in the way that discriminates against mothers and makes them practically dependent on others making them vulnerable for poverty, violence and abuse. A capitalist society where child care cost more than what you earn is promoting exactly that: women that don’t want to put themselves in a position of extreme vulnerability as I mentioned above.
Being part of a society that automatically expects me ( women) to have children and being part of an economic system where most people are REQUIRED to provide much more than what one person can provide with one job to any number of dependants is NOT what actually forced me into the workforce of America but it was absolutely the second biggest factor that drove me into my trade. Saying all that leads me to my point, MOTHERS OR primary child care takers SHOULD NOT have to play more than one role at a time. The children go without the training, nurturing and attention they need. I didn’t consciously decide to start a family or become a mother but I’ve risen to the responsibility and have had no choice but to play two roles for the last two decades. But ” mother’s” shouldn’t have to go to work cuz there’s already too much work involved in raising, training, equipping, preparing and loving another person from birth to adulthood . The future of our society and supply chain depends on the quality of care our children get ….the future looks bleak… More people are choosing NOT to be parents and I don’t blame them.
My narcissist mother of 92 yrs just told me in a rage of anger I have been a troublemaker all of my life. I have always been there for her, cleaning, caring and trying to make her love me unconditionally. I did not succeed. I walked out after I had said that I forgive her. I have endured her verbal and physical abuse since childhood. I will no longer tolerate her backstabbing, her chronic lies and listening to her slandering the other members of the family and me for that matter. I definitely feel sad but elated that I had the courage to stop the abuse and that I have stood up to defend myself. Parental estrangement at 70. Imagine that! I do want to honor her, love her and be a caring daughter but nothing that I have done could win her heart. I pray for her daily.
On the note of pregnant women being treated like “public property” in a good way… I was pregnant last year and didn’t experience that at all, except once in the elevator at the hospital on my way to give birth, lol. But more than that, young people, in their teens and 20s, seemed pretty openly annoyed or disgusted at me when I was out and about visibly pregnant. I even had one young man seemingly intentionally close a door on me (another man saw it and looked at me in shock but didn’t say anything to the man or assist me) It totally opened my eyes to where we are as a society and despite not having any expectations on how I’d be treated, it made me profoundly sad at the state of society I will have to help my child navigate. Not a single person asked me about when I was due, or congratulations, or small talk while I was out and about, across all 9 months, except for 1 young woman who approached me in a restaurant to tell me I had a pregnancy glow. I let her know how much I appreciated hearing that.
Not only was having a child better than I expected. My dau had her expected ups and downs which is painful to watch but each came with more overall confidence for both of us and with her father. Now I’m a grand of 2 toddlers and if possible this is even better for all of us. We have all benefitted exponentially from having them. The 3 yo is already skiing (quite well) and benefitting from already more of their life being in a more laid back Vermont (as opposed to NYC) because of a pandemic which has forced most of us to reassess our priorities. I feel that those who have. something meaningful to share with a child have an obligation to society to stack the equation toward an even more extraordinary future. If we don’t do this the world may be sunk.
I feel like most of my friends have become memes. They routinely say things like “when _ is life” or “you don’t understand, I (me me me me).” They are in constant flow looking for the next trivial distraction to entertain themselves. I find it difficult to extract an original thought out of them and their literacy is terribly limited unless it pertains to entertainment or memes.
Professor I agree with most things you say but not all women are meant to be mothers. My grandmother raised me. She was just wonderful, selfless, kind and ethical. My mother was not. She would be the first to admit this. I was as they say an accident. I had a father but he did want me. Please don’t think I want pity. I am simply stating a fact. I never had children because I was terrified of my DNA. I didn’t want to be a parent like either of mine. Children deserve better.
It’s 2am and I’m up sponging my sick daughter. The version of me before having her would have enjoyed a nice movie and wine and fast asleep right now. Which one do i prefer???? Definitely this current version of me that’s a mom. I know when she wakes up in the morning feeling better, that will be the best moment. Seeing her smile will make all my tiredness go away
In my youth i never wanted to have children. I was afraid that I would pass on trauma, I was terrified by idea that my children would suffer as I have suffered growing up. In my thirties I have done my personal work, therapy, healing…and I meet my husband. I was blessed at age 42 by most gorgeous, kind, well adjusted loving son. I love being mother only wish it didn’t take so long to heal so I had time to have more children.
Thanks again Mr. Peterson… Always full of thought provoking words. I believe I’m most enjoy that when you do these talks or lectures it we can tell in some cases that you’re thinking it out or learning it in your head sometimes as you speak. This just shows us that yes you’re very intelligent yes you’re well read but you don’t pretend to know everything which makes you human and more relatable. Thank you
I really felt that part at the end where he said that the people treat pregnant women like public property. I am nine weeks pregnant now. A few weeks ago, we announced to our Church that I’m expecting. One lady at our Church, whom I am very comfortable around, came up to me and tried touching my stomach (mind you, I was only about five our six weeks along and not even showing yet). It was so awkward for me. Thankfully, I was about to leave with my husband. I had my car keys out in front of me, and I didn’t move them for her. So she stood there awkwardly trying to touching my stomach around my hands. I am a very huggy, physical touch sort of person, but touching a woman’s stomach puts her in a vulnerable position, and it really shouldn’t be taken lightly. People don’t realize that you either need to ask first, or just admire from a distance. If a person wouldn’t touch a woman’s stomach when she isn’t pregnant, why would a person think it’s appropriate just because a child is pregnant. If anything that should make a pregnant mother even more sacred and cared for in the realm of how people treat her physically.
Life is hard but it is glorious because of the same reason. How could you even appreciate the good times without the bad? My mother is a strict taskmaster and she thought me how to be unflinching in the face of adversity. She taught me how to face hardship head on and how wallowing in self-pity is not just destructive but also pointless. I was bullied at school, had a horrible boss, had all my career plans fall apart and was even misdiagnosed with a degenerative disease. I faced all of them with my head held high and a fiercer determination. I owe that to my strong mother.
I have been a stay at home mother. Threw both of my children’s life’s, I loved and appreciated that I was able to do so. This year I filed for ss and because I did not work enough years I received half of what my husband gets. I worked before I had my children. At 62 I guess I can get a part time job for the next 8 years and hope I make enough tax points that I can bring my monthly benefits past 287$ per month.