Is It A Good Idea To Share Parenting?

When parents divorce or separate, maintaining a civil relationship for their children can be challenging. Healthy co-parenting, or shared parenting, provides children with a sense of stability and is critical to their well-being. Co-parenting requires communication and cooperation, and children may find it hard to adjust to post-divorce disruption if one parent suddenly drops out of their lives. Regular physical access to both parents can help them cope with the loss and rejection they may experience.

A meta study by Dr. Linda Nielsen, Wake Forest University professor, reviewed 60 studies that have compared the benefits of equal shared parenting. Two parenting practices were linked to improved mental health: shared parenting and structured parenting. Shared parenting was linked with positive outcomes, such as higher self-esteem and better school performance when both parents play a significant role in their child’s life.

Equal parenting is the optimal arrangement for most children of divorce, as it allows both parents to participate in the child’s upbringing and avoid burnout. Shared parenting is applied in cases of divorce, separation, or when parents do not live together. Joint custody is better for kids than having one parent vanish, and it is rare for a parent to stay close to a child who does not live with them at least some time.

Shared parenting often means a more equal allocation of parenting time than is possible for older children, which can benefit both parents. Some studies show that shared parenting is better for children in almost all situations.

In conclusion, healthy co-parenting, or shared parenting, provides children with a sense of stability and well-being, but it requires communication and cooperation between parents. The top 50/50 custody options for shared parenting offer insights on benefits, challenges, and legal perspectives for families.


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Do children do better with two parents?

Recent research suggests that an intact family is increasingly linked to the financial, social, and emotional welfare of children, and family instability is more strongly linked to worse outcomes for kids than it used to be. Marriage and a stable two-parent family appear to matter more than ever for children, with children who have the benefit of two parents being comparatively more advantaged today than they were in previous decades.

A study led by Kathleen Ziol-Guest at New York University explored the link between family structure and educational attainment, finding that the estimated relationship between the single-parent family structure variable and educational attainment more than tripled in size from the late 1960s to the 1990s. The tightening link also extends to student behavior, with rates of school contact for student misbehavior nearly twice as high among students living with separated or divorced parents as among those living with stably married parents.

The relative risk faced by students from non-traditional families has actually increased from 1996 to 2019 when it comes to school suspensions and expulsions, as well as school reports of student misbehavior. While the link between family structure and student outcomes was essentially stable over time, no evidence was found that the link between family structure and student outcomes is diminishing.

In conclusion, marriage and a stable two-parent family appear to matter more than ever for children, with family instability being more strongly linked to worse outcomes than it used to be.

What are the disadvantages of co-parenting?
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What are the disadvantages of co-parenting?

Joint custody can be challenging for parents due to the need for coordination in transporting the child, planning pick-ups and drop-offs, and other tasks. This can lead to arguments and conflicts, especially if the parents have a contentious relationship. Children may also be involved in these arguments, which can be detrimental to them. Additionally, children may have to move frequently between homes, which can be difficult for them.

To avoid these issues, it is recommended to create a plan for parenting time with your spouse, outlining the time each spouse will spend with the child, who is responsible for transportation costs, and how decisions will be made. If joint custody is not shared, one parent or the other may be awarded full legal or physical custody, based on court determination.

Is it a good idea to have co-parenting?
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Is it a good idea to have co-parenting?

Co-parenting is a parenting approach where both parents actively participate in their children’s daily lives, unless the family has serious issues like domestic violence or substance abuse. This ensures that all children’s needs are met and fosters close relationships between parents. The quality of co-parenting relationships can significantly impact children’s mental and emotional well-being, reducing anxiety and depression. However, co-parenting can be challenging, especially after an acrimonious split, especially if the ex-partner has a contentious relationship.

This can lead to stress, concerns about parenting abilities, financial issues, and resentment. Despite these challenges, it is possible to overcome co-parenting challenges and develop a cordial working relationship with the ex-partner. By remaining calm, consistent, and resolving conflicts, co-parents can make joint custody work and enable their children to thrive.

Is co-parenting better than staying together?

If spouses can co-parent positively and maintain personal differences for the sake of their children, they may have an advantage if their parents stay together. If not, an amicable divorce may be better for the children. The most critical question is whether the relationship has deteriorated to the point of irreparable. If there has been infidelity or attempts to rebuild trust, it is important to make a good-faith effort to repair the relationship before divorcing. However, whether the spouses are willing and able to make that effort for the sake of the children is an important question.

How to co-parent in a healthy way?
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How to co-parent in a healthy way?

Co-parenting is a collaborative arrangement between parents who work together to raise their child in a safe and loving environment. It requires both parents to contribute to their child’s care, upbringing, and activities, and to interact frequently and respectfully. The best co-parenting relationships involve putting personal feelings aside to provide their child with emotional and physical support.

To have a healthy and productive co-parenting relationship, it is essential to have clear boundaries, establish a schedule, be flexible, defend each other, be in agreement, avoid manipulation, discuss changes, and give kids a positive perception. Identifying what is going well rather than focusing on what’s not working can help resolve parenting conflicts with the ex.

What is the healthiest custody arrangement for kids?

Young children thrive with frequent exchanges, while teenagers can handle longer periods apart. Experts recommend families with young children start with 2-2-3 and work up to alternating weeks as they age. A 50/50 custody schedule is a common choice for parents during a divorce or separation, as it splits parenting time equally. This guide compares different 50/50 custody schedules and provides expert advice on selecting the best rotation for your family. Factors to consider when selecting a 50/50 parenting schedule include the child’s age, needs, and preferences. Experts suggest the best 50/50 schedule based on the child’s age and needs.

Is it better to have one parent or two?
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Is it better to have one parent or two?

The study examines the associations between adolescent family experiences and young adult well-being using data from three waves of the National Survey of Families and Households. The research compares children living with both biological parents, but whose parents differ in how often they argue, to children in stepfather and single-mother families. The findings suggest that parental conflict is associated with poorer academic achievement, increased substance use, and early family formation and dissolution.

Living in single mother and stepfather families tend to be more strongly associated with well-being indicators, although differences between these family types and living with high conflict continuously married parents are often statistically indistinguishable. Income and parenting largely do not account for associations between adolescent family type and later life outcomes.

The study concludes that while children do better on average living with two biological married parents, the advantages of two-parent families are not shared equally by all. The study highlights the importance of parental conflict for child outcomes, as children whose parents often argue score worse on measures of academic achievement, behavior problems, psychological well-being, and adult relationship quality. Examining variation in conflict between married parents is important for social scientists and the broader public, as marriage has emerged high on the U.

S. policy agenda in recent years as a tool for improving child outcomes. The success of marriage promotion for the sake of children depends not just on the overall association between marriage and child well-being but also on how this association varies across marriages.

What does a 70/30 split look like?

A 70/30 custody schedule is a parenting arrangement whereby a child spends 70% of their time with one parent and the remaining 30% with the other. This is designed to maintain a consistent routine and active involvement from both parents.

What is the best split for co-parenting?
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What is the best split for co-parenting?

Parents typically choose a rotating schedule for custody, where children spend two, two, or three days with each parent. This schedule allows each parent to have some weeks with more parenting time. A 3-4-4-3 schedule divides custody into two-week blocks, with parents having three and four days each week before switching. However, 50/50 shared custody can be challenging for some parents due to work schedules and other obligations. This can be more difficult in two homes, where older kids and teens may manage well, while younger kids may need more attention and structure.

Some parents may choose a 4-3 schedule, where one parent has the child for four days and the other for three days, a long weekend, every week, or a 5-2 schedule, where one parent covers every work week and the other every weekend.

Are kids happier when parents stay together?

Research indicates that children raised by happily married parents tend to have better educational, health, and wellbeing outcomes, but this depends on a stable and conflict-free home environment. Co-parenting in an amicable and healthy way can prioritize these outcomes and reduce the negative impacts of divorce. A conflict-filled marital home may not be as beneficial for children. A child’s relationship with each parent can develop in a stable home environment if they have access to them through time, attention, and interest. Providing these resources will ensure a healthy, ongoing relationship between the parent and child, and seeking professional support can help maintain this healthy relationship.

What are the don'ts of co-parenting?
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What are the don’ts of co-parenting?

It is advisable to refrain from discussing child support matters with children, regardless of their age. It is recommended that children be encouraged to facilitate communication between their parents, regardless of their age or maturity level. It is inadvisable to introduce new partners or make significant changes to plans without first informing the other parent.


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Is It A Good Idea To Share Parenting?
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Rae Fairbanks Mosher

I’m a mother, teacher, and writer who has found immense joy in the journey of motherhood. Through my blog, I share my experiences, lessons, and reflections on balancing life as a parent and a professional. My passion for teaching extends beyond the classroom as I write about the challenges and blessings of raising children. Join me as I explore the beautiful chaos of motherhood and share insights that inspire and uplift.

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2 comments

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  • What if the non custodial parent tells the child things like, “i’m going to take ‘the other parent’ back to court, he/she can’t keep you from me forever” … If the high conflict is coming from 1 parent, and that parent is attempting to have the child hate the opposite parent because that parent hates the other parent…. Then it is not best for shared parenting. Even if it is only 1 negative sentence about the other parent during that parents time with the child, it’s impact can be signifigant… I agree to this study, as long as both parents are protecting the child’s mental an emotional well being

  • Have you done more research into why woman do more damage to the children when they commit DV, than men? Given your comments that when woman commit the DV, the level of stress remains constant. What is the solution, full custody to the father? Limited custody for mother? 50/50? Or should the mother have higher custody?

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