A new study has found that the time students spend on math and science homework doesn’t necessarily mean better grades, but it could lead to better performance on standardized tests. The researchers analyzed data from over 18,000 10th-graders and found little correlation between the time spent on homework and better grades. They also found that for students who average more than 100 minutes a day on homework, test scores start to decrease.
The study aimed to investigate whether the amount of time spent on homework had any effect on academic achievement and to determine moderators in the relationship. The results offer empirical evidence that many students struggle to find balance between homework, extracurricular activities, and social time, and many feel forced or obligated.
Over 30 years of research shows that students doing more homework get better grades. However, extra study doesn’t make as much difference as people think. This return decreases as students spend more time studying. On average, mathematics homework ceases to improve test scores if a student does more than about 11 hours per week. High schoolers reported doing an average of 2.7 hours of homework per weeknight, according to a Washington Post study from 2018 to 2020 of over 50,000 individuals.
No strong evidence was found for an association between the homework-achievement link and the outcome measure (grades as opposed to standardized tests) or the subject matter (reading as opposed to math). The authors suggest future research.
In conclusion, while the debate surrounding homework suggests that more time spent on homework leads to higher grades and test scores, there is no strong evidence for this relationship. Previous studies have shown that homework is associated with higher scores on academic standardized tests for middle and high school students, but not for elementary school students. Additionally, students in high-achieving communities who spend too much time on homework experience more stress, physical health problems, and lack of academic engagement.
📹 When a narcissist sees you as being too strong, this is what they’ll do | NPD | Narcissism
When a narcissist sees you as being too strong, this is what they’ll do | NPD | Narcissism …
Does studying improve test scores?
In college, it is crucial to complete homework assignments and study regularly to improve retention and reduce stress. It is essential to understand the material you will be tested on and how it will be tested, such as chapters, notes, concepts, and main points. Ask your professor for clarification if needed.
Managing your alertness level is crucial for effective exam preparation. Get enough sleep, walk around if feeling tense, and avoid last-minute cramming. Relax and close your eyes when feeling anxious.
Studying “more” is a first step, especially if you are not meeting the traditional recommended minimum of 3 hours outside of class/week for each credit hour of class (thus 9 hours/class). However, using deep learning techniques that build connections is essential for success. These techniques require full concentration and are hard work.
Avoid “reading into” trivial elements of test items, as instructors are not interested in trying to trick you. Instructors’ motivation is to find out if you know the material and can use it plain and simple. Over interpreting font choices, formatting, or other trivia distracts from the real purpose of the test—to find out what you know. If a test seems tricky to you, it is likely that you haven’t learned the material at a sufficiently deep level.
What are the 10 disadvantages of homework?
Homework is a set of tasks students are expected to complete outside the classroom, such as reading, writing, or typing tasks, mathematical problems, content examinations, or other activities. These assignments can have negative impacts on students’ academic achievement, especially for those who perform below average. Homework can also cause stress for students and parents, and limit their time for other activities.
The primary purpose of homework is to reinforce concepts covered in class, but it can also lead to academic burnout and loss of power. It is crucial to understand the potential drawbacks and benefits of homework before implementing it in the classroom.
How many hours can a human brain study?
The human brain can focus for up to two hours, after which it needs a 20-30 minute break. The average American spends about 9 hours a day at work, which is equivalent to 6 hours a week. This lack of focus is due to the American workday hours not aligning with the brain’s best focus periods. Studies show that 90% of people do their best thinking outside of the office. As pressure increases, college students, entrepreneurs, and highly competitive job seekers are turning to smart drugs like piracetam, modafinil, and ADHD medications, but these come with high costs and potential addiction.
How to boost test scores?
Regular practice is crucial for improving test scores and enhancing academic and career opportunities. By testing knowledge through quizzes and practice exams, students become familiar with the format and types of questions they will encounter. Incorporating frequent practice tests into your study routine can significantly boost test results.
Understanding the basics of effective studying is essential for achieving better test scores. Building a strong foundation in the subjects you’re studying involves more than just memorizing facts. Active learning techniques, such as reading, involving yourself in discussions, teaching the material to others, and applying concepts in practical situations, can deepen understanding and retention. Techniques such as summarizing after each chapter and questioning what you read can help you achieve better test results. By incorporating these strategies into your study routine, you can significantly improve your test scores and achieve better academic and career opportunities.
What happens when you spend too much time on homework?
Overloading students with excessive homework can lead to increased stress levels, particularly among higher-achieving students who may experience sleep deprivation, weight loss, stomach problems, and headaches. Schools are increasingly eliminating homework, despite concerns about academic success. However, there is evidence that eliminating homework in grade school can have significant benefits, particularly in terms of educational equity.
The debate surrounding homework has been ongoing for the last century, with parents and educators arguing for the need for homework and the need to eliminate it. One of the most pressing issues is how homework disproportionately affects students from less affluent families.
What increases test scores?
This article discusses the importance of effective studying for improving test scores. It emphasizes the need for students to develop a study schedule, practice regularly, use school resources, stay healthy, and manage stress. By understanding and implementing proven strategies, students can prepare better and boost their test results. The first step to a successful test outcome is a thorough understanding of the material. Building a strong foundation in the subjects is crucial and involves more than just memorizing facts.
Active learning techniques, such as reading, involving oneself in discussions, teaching the material to others, and applying concepts in practical situations, can deepen understanding and retention. Techniques such as summarizing after each chapter and questioning what you read can help students achieve better test scores.
Does homework promote learning points?
Homework is a crucial tool in education, fostering study habits, independent learning, and the acquisition of resources like dictionaries and grammar reference books. It also enhances factual knowledge, self-discipline, attitudes towards learning, and problem-solving skills. Homework provides opportunities for receptive skills activities, project work, and graded reading, and provides continuity between lessons by consolidating classwork and preparing for the next lesson.
How long is too long for homework?
It is recommended that families allocate 10 minutes per grade level per night to homework, with second-graders completing 20 minutes and sixth-graders an hour. If this seems unfeasible, it would be beneficial to consider the factors that contribute to an extended homework duration, such as the child’s ability to maintain focus on their homework and whether they are consistently attentive to their homework throughout the night.
Do homework assignments enhance achievement?
Homework is a widely utilized educational strategy that has been demonstrated to facilitate students’ learning and enhance their academic performance in a range of subjects, including science.
What increases test the most?
The combination of aerobic and resistance training, increased heart rate, and weightlifting has been demonstrated to enhance testosterone production and to confer protection against prevalent diseases such as heart disease and cancer in men.
How many hours a day should you study?
Students who dedicate a minimum of five to six hours per day to academic pursuits, including the reading of textbooks, the taking of notes, the revision of said notes, the practice of problem-solving, and the recitation and self-testing on existing notes, tend to demonstrate a high level of academic achievement in their college studies.
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I ignore my narcissistic husband, when he tries to berate me I put my fingers in my ears. I have moved out of the bedroom, I keep my door locked, I only speak when it’s absolutely necessary. Meanwhile I’m living my best life and preparing for divorce. I don’t think anyone should learn how to live with a narcissist. They are very sick individuals that only an act of God can heal. RUN!!!
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away.
The one thing that a narcissist hates is when you show them proof of something they’ve done to others around you in front of the narcissist. That just infuriate the living hell out of them. This way, everyone sees the narcissist true colors and it’s never pretty. But the narcissist has to deal with it, and you don’t, so don’t apologize, period a narcissist doesn’t deserve one.
Many heartfelt hugs to all who are suffering due to someone’s NPD. I thought I had the worst situation, but after reading the comments on this page, my heart goes out especially to those who have really horrible situations, especially situations involving kids. GROUP HUG INSERTED HERE FOR ALL WHO’VE BEEN DEGRADED, USED, ABUSED, AND STRESSED OUT TO THE MAX BY NPD.
Before I was with the narc,I was a super strong woman, he beat me down mentally and emotionally, it was never physical,we disagreed on things,but his anger never got out of control,he was either too scared of me or he hid it. When he discarded me,I felt like I was trash and have been working on my self esteem and loving myself for 8 months since the discard. Turning your back away from the narc is not easy, bc they manipulated you into thinking you were their number 1 and would not leave you,as a result of that they love bomb you and form a trauma bond with you,so you feel stuck and you won’t want to leave them. They are not worth your breath and I’m sorry they are a waste of space on this earth,they’re very evil and enjoy leashing physical and emotional and mental pain on you. RUN FROM THE NARC!!! YOU ARE JUST A MEANS TO AN END!!! YOU ARE AN OBJECT TO THEM,NOT A PERSON.
The thing that ultimately defeats a narcissist is their own Karma. What they put out always returns to them….if not in an an exact form, then in a form of equal value….I’ve seen it time and again, and beyond coincidence. Remember, the world is your mirror, what you see is the result of your beliefs, intentions, thoughts and actions. If you don’t like what you see in your experience, then change your beliefs, thoughts, or intentions and actions and your world and people around you will change…it’s physics.
The best antidote for a narcissist and generally what everyone should have before going into any relationship is knowing that you are enough. Let the earth shake with your self-worth and let every fiber of your being bear witness with you that you are ENOUGH. Anybody that cannot see you in this light should not be allowed access into your life. Period. Having being a victim of narcissistic abuse, I honestly cannot wish it on my enemy. No one deserves to go through the mental trauma this thing brings.
You’re right! They enjoy perusal you plead to be understood. I explained myself for decades to my narc dad and sister in so many ways that my intentions were good when I was accused of doing something and found myself at wits end constantly. It took me to my late 50’s to realize they don’t want to “understand” and they liked perusal me defend myself. It was like their feeding frenzy. The cognitive dissonance is awful. Especially when it’s your blood family of origin, and they lie, embellish and make you the bad guy….always 😢
Do the exact opposite of whatever they insist you be, say, behave, etc. Don’t cater to them, say what you mean, mean what you say. When they exceed your boundaries, take immediate action. Don’t lose your cool. When they start yapping, take your keys and leave. You do have control. Do not share your goals, dreams, ambitions. They will thwart your efforts. If you pay attention, are generous and complimentary to others be prepared for jealousy and backlash. Do NOT intertwine you monies. Be prepared to leave in a planned and well timed way. If you are divorcing them, it’ll be a circus, they try to bankrupt you. They are toxic people, they erode your self-confidence, will keep you off-balance and make you question yourself. If you turn the table on them, it’s a bit scary as you feel like to are taking on THEIR traits. Do what you need to do. Protect yourself, be smart, and keep in mind they encourage learned helplessness. It makes you more dependent on them. These energy vampires will suck the energy out of you and it takes a toll on your mental, emotional and psychological health. Educate yourself about these soulless meat suits walking the earth.
Guys! I am two weeks out of moving out of a bad situation with a narcissist and it’s been the most positive and happy two weeks I’ve had in years in spite of how stressed I am! Edit: 5 weeks out and it has gotten sooooo much better even more! I feel more myself, less anxious, less stressed and mentally chaotic, and it’s been so nice not having heard hateful things said to me in over a month.
My mother-in-law is a narcissist. Every time she visits, it’s so emotionally draining and overwhelming. At first I had no idea what was going on, I didn’t understand what was happening…. I’ve only recently began to discover what this was all about. More people need to talk about this and make this known. It plays with your mind, that’s for sure. Thank you for your vid and your information.
Everything about this is absolutely correct. I’ve done a bit of research on narcissism, because it happened to me. It’s almost 12 years since I left a sociopathic psycho (which is a form of narcissism) after 5 years of living hell. He abused me in every way; emotionally, verbally, psychologically, and yes, physically. The beatings were bad, but the psychological abuse was worse- the controlling, the fear, the threats…. And always making himself look like the perfect husband whilst dragging me down to his level and slowly dragging me away from my family and friends. Thank you for listening. Thank you so much for sharing this. I truly hope this helps whom ever needs to hear what you’ve said.
As an adult I got very sick and had to move home for several years. My father has always been abusive. I started standing up to him and after him telling me twice that he would hit me in the face if I didn’t shut up, I left and called the police. I had warned him not to threaten me and if he did I would call the police (big tactical error on my part). I found out later that he called attorneys and was going to try to claim ELDER abuse. They are total cowards and will go to any lengths to destroy you.
The only way to deal with a Narcissist is to ignore them completely and stay one step ahead of their BS, their flying monkeys, and their water bugs… Keep your family and friends far away because the narcissist will want to follow you to all your gatherings. Leave them home alone to deal with themselves. The less people they know, the better you are. They will only do to your friends what they have done to you.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you.
Took me 40-something years to realize my lil old Black mother, who sits in the front pew at church, is a narcissist. As Black children—especially male children—we are not taught to be critical of our mothers. Society teaches us to rip our Black fathers to shreds; but we never examine our mother’s behavior… Furthermore, the stereotype of a narcissist is that of a well-educated, sophisticated, successful white male. But there are a lot of Black mothers with high school diplomas working as secretaries and grocery store cashiers who are narcissists.
Everything said was Sooooo true. I’m married to one and learned the hard way how deceiving he is but thank God for all the lessons. Because of articles like this I’ve learned to ignore him. I do not reward bad behavior, I show no emotions of disappointment just being happy and in love with myself. I find it strange he won’t leave therefore I let him pay all the bills and I live as a single woman.
It’s an unbelievable thing to read the comments below and realize that people who are strangers to me are going through the SAME, EXACT THINGS I’m going through. I can tell by reading one-sentence comments the types of CRAP this person has gone through. My heart goes out to all who are suffering and victimized by narcissism.
True! The sad part is on many occasions you find out who they are but still stick around them because you feel vulnerable and lonely or empty. The thing is it isn’t worth it. Learn to love yourself. Learn to be a lone wolf. Learn to let evil people go. Either that or you play them at their own games.
Not only was this the most accurate description of a narcissist, it is sad to see in the comments, just how many people’s lives have been destroyed by a relationship with a narcissist. My own experience has proved that the narcissist will never stop. You must do whatever necessary to regain your sanity and freedom, but they will never stop. It truly is a sickness for which the narcissist will never get help because they don’t see that they are the problem. Distance yourself from them the best you can. It helps to see this as a sickness and don’t hate them for it. It can be an opportunity to set a new path for yourself which will undoubtedly be better than the one you were on.
“The narcissist’s goal is to gain their trust, so they may treat them like mindless servants.” Yes. This is where I have blindy been in my marriage the last 19 years. I always wondered why he never trusted me, why he treated me like a lower being that wasn’t capable of standing in my own two feet. Constantly criticizing, making me feel stupid. Cutting down my self esteem and being verbally and emotionally abusive. His needs always came first and he always had some logical reason why they should. It makes me sick that he did this to me and that it took me so long to try and get out with my kids. Narcissists are controlling, underhanded, two-faced lying a-holes who will suck the life of of you until you literally have nothing left to give, and then they will try to take more. Don’t let it get as far as I did.
If you think you may be with a narcissist, get out and run as fast as you can. You may feel love for them and it may hurt to leave but it’s the best thing you can do for your own well-being. Give them the chance and they will do their best to destroy you, your relationships with family and friends and you will end up doubting your own sanity.
When you understand them, you can turn their games around on them. The best situation is when they try to turn others against you, then you use that same group to expose the person by reverse engineering their game (they’ll plant seeds against you and act like they are the victim, so you only say good things about them and defend them against the people that start to come to you with bits of info), so the group that was supposed to be used as a tool for them doesn’t work. Also, doing the opposite reaction of what was intended by their set ups. It scrambles their computers 🖥
This is insane. I can’t even believe I’m listening to this random article that YouTube inexplicably recommended. I’m 33, and haven’t spoken to my mom in six years because she abused me since the day I was born and tried to get back to it when I got out of the army at age 27. I’ve searched for years to find a word to describe her long list of behaviors, but I could never find that word until now. Thank you.
Great enlightening article! I was a victim of my narsisist abusive ex husband. But I resently found out that I was also a victim of narsisistic parents/family. But I also see my own narsisistic behaviour in the past and presence, something I didn’t know. Victims, especially when they are emotionally damaged, often become perpetrators. When you want to be set free, you have to embrace the truth and go through the inner pain it causes. Embrace the time to mourn. A life lesson I am going through right now.❤
You described my sister in law 💯 This is only one example of many, but this particular example goes with what you said in the article: SIL got into middle school counseling because she doesn’t have qualifications to be a professional psychologist working with adults. I do have these qualitications and am a rehab therapist and crisis counselor. She would tell my husband i wasn’t licensed (I am) and plant seeds of doubt where he started asking me if he can see proof that I am qualified, or make accusations that I am lying about my qualifications.
Was married to one,everything you said is true, but until you realise what is going on&that there is a pattern repeat to their behaviours you just struggle to get free,they switch roles&gaslight you til you are doubting yourself and the revelation of who they truly are becomes blurred again. No contact is vital for your own well being&sanity,time to heal&recover from this traumatic experience. Well done to all who escaped,freedom is so precious&now you can share your love with many,instead of being sucked dry by one!!!
I wish I knew this when I was younger and before I got married to the abuser.. I had to learn this lesson in my life because it made me grow into the strongest woman I am now.. I have a wonderful coach who has taught me how to love myself again.. this is the truth of my first spouse, everything that you have said, down to the children, my children have also learned.. I AM NOT A victim of this trauma anymore.. woohoo..
Sir, I have to say thank you. I have been dealing with a narcissist niece lately. A very envious sik piece of trash. I will refuse to add some sorts of good titles for her. I hate everything about her bc I refuse to embrace the toxicity. I trust that by now, she realizes this. She is greedy and lies, steals, even stealing my degrees to make herself look good. She goes out of her way to spread lies for her to look better. But, I care zero of her. Furthermore, my X was also a narcissist. Hence, I know the behaviors well. But to here you hit the hammer on the nail makes me confirm I was correct to get rid of them both. Great article thanks be safe!!!
You completely described my ex. Thank you so much it feels so good to see I am not alone in facing such trauma. I was with a lot of girls before her but it was my first time ever with a narcissist and I had no idea all those love bombing me was just an act. She stole and she cheated just like you described.
Thank you for your articles. With an Overt Narcissist first he may make promises to change then when that does not work, aggression, and physical violence. He will try to get you back under his control by any means necessary. You are his property no matter how many times he has cheated and left you. I had to leave the state making it more difficult for him to have access to me. This narc traveled to where I was living 5 states away and tried to drag me back cave man style. I have read that the lesser narcissist has poor cognitive function and low impulse control. Some are even capable of rape when they suffer a narcissistic injury. While I believe all narcissist can lash out violently when enraged and suffering from a narcissistic injury it is even more so with the lesser. My experience with this narcissist was even if we separated and he had moved on with a new supply source he would still come around to make sure I was not seeing anyone. If I happened to start dating he became violent even when he was engaged with someone new. Most narcissist when they are love bombing a new supply source will not want the one they discarded in the picture at least in the beginning of his new relationship. If they are engaged with a new supply source and still Hoovering you for fuel they have a sadistic streak. This narcissist cheated throughout the entire marriage. He engaged in triangulation with his first wife. She was a constant in our marriage until her suicide. The Covert Narcissist may try to come back after they have been involved in a few relationships which did not work out.
The number one trick to control a narcissist is to make them always they are so bore to yu, never hear them, make them feel yu are ignoring them, sometimes do not answer their questions always even if its valid or not, make a feel of boring with yu, try their behave often when dealing with them, always make them yu as not available, when they try to love bombing, make a yarn and say them without words that keep it in with yu, we cannot always run away from them in the case of family members, take this tricky capsule when dealing with them. Narcissist always win when they are able to hurt yu, so kerp in mind. Live with happy around them. If they try to give yu bad label just feel them as yu are very grateful with that label and be like a devil in front of them. Always put a mask of never mind set.
Everything this man said is true. It was like listening to what’s taking place in my life now. I’m forced to work next to a (self diagnosed bipolar)narcissist 10 hours a day- 4 days a week. It’s been one of the most trying experiences in my life. It’s built me up, broke me down but what it hasn’t done is break me. IT WILL NOT BREAK ME!! It’s teaching me lessons hard learned in life and thus a blessing in sheeps clothing.
One of the famous go to phrases of the narcissist is, “I don’t know what you’re talking about “,when called out on their b.s.One of the key things covered here is to “Never let your guard down “,the ability to character assassinate someone they’ve targeted with other associates and colleagues. Being the cowards that they are, they will wait until the person has left the room,laughing and talking with them, before they begin their tactics to discredit and destroy that person’s reputation. They genuinely hate everything that they can’t manipulate and control. They are so sick that if you escape their control and manipulations, you are going to be attacked repeatedly by them.
This article explains everything I suffered and went through when I was with a narcissist in a relationship. It’s very eye opening. I went back 3 times before I found the strength to think of my self worth and leave. I left . I walked out of his life. I finally started to work on my peace of mind and happiness. It’s hard to do. You feel lost. You can finally start working on yourself. It’s a great feeling to finally have.
I’ve learned a lot about this from Utube recently. I went thru a divorce 88 times in court with one. I won86 times but there was just misery. 20 years later(now) again in court for the last two years with one. It’s a nightmare that No one should ever have to have. Keep lecturing people on this type of person and sickness so that they will be be more educated than I was about this. Even the judge is falling for his manipulation. His lawyer as well. My lawyer has got it finally. Good luck to you all. I wish you the best. Run as far away from them as you can. These people are so toxic both to you and your children. You will be saving everyone’s sanity. The NEVER GET BETTER.
All men and women learn to love yourself so you wont hurt others, sometimes we is the narcissist without even knowing by child hood trauma or bad relationships who taught us these self sabotaging ways. Learn that you have full abundance inside your soul and enjoy being alone. Alone isn’t loneliness its self bliss. Then once you have healed go out and attract vibes that matches your flow of energy that you set already in your presence 💯
Ironically, last night I recorded and posted a article regarding my own experiences on this topic…everything in all of this content creaters information is on point. Even I had difficulty just walking away in silence. After about 3 days away from him the “brain washed” fog cleared. So i talked about it, and posted it. I saw red flags in the beginning, but questioned them due to his situation, empathizeing it was his stress level, providing his alibi for bad behavior. So yes I was aware, but questioning the entire time. Sadly, I have ended relationships in the past for less, than what i put up with with this individual. I will never question my hunches ever again. I assure you.
My mom and older siblings are still trying to abuse me even at the age of 38. It doesn’t affect me anymore. They are treating me the same way they treated my dad before he passed. I notice it and they know I noticed it. I just use it to my advantage now. It is funny to see them try to get me mad and not succeed.
Mine had all his family ignore me from day one. No congratulations on our wedding. Later he told me he’d told everyone not to give us anything. Obviously he lied about me paying for everything. What I didn’t know was that in his culture the man and his family pay. I found out many years later when one of my female students was getting married. He succeeded in always isolating me and shared only disinformation. He never had an answer, even about his own culture. But once I asked a pastor’s wife about the different types of teas. She didn’t even get one word out before he suddenly interrupted and explained in detail! The expression on her face when she saw my 😮surprise showed she knew what was going on. She asked me to attend her church, but my husband quickly got me away from her, insisted I go with him to the car. I was confused, didn’t want to make a scene, especially since friends had taken us there to meet her and her husband. It was useless bringing it up because he’d only change the topic and/or ignore me. For so many years his entire relationship with me was nothing but deceit. However, after separating, I came upon these articles and now I finally understand. I have to stay in contact because he controls all the finances and my visa to stay abroad. But I’m so thankful for the miracle that got me away so I would then find these kinds of articles to learn from. If not, I would never have known. I am so grateful for each of the messages shared with us. They not only are helping our mental, physical, and spiritual but also reinforcing how beautiful we are.
Oh my gosh. I’ve educated myself with other people on YouTube and in other ways learning about narcissistic behavior and other things and although I appreciate their help, I must say the way that you explain to narcissist was so detailed and so informative and it opened up my eyes all the more to their behavior I also like how you explained it not only both professionally but not so technical and simple terms. And your tone of voice is real and genuine and pleasant. I can’t thank you enough for helping me understand the behavior of a narcissist. It made me realize all the more or what I deal with and what I have to watch out for. I try to be positive and look at the world as beautiful as well as people but I have to say that there are more narcissistic people in this world than good people and that’s why it’s hard to have good people in your lives and people that you can trust and to be safe. I believe that that’s why people are hurting each other and killing each other in this world and against each other in countries because of narcissistic behavior. If people would educate themselves spiritually and psychologically we would have a more peaceful place but it seems like 99% of this world does not do that and that’s why there is so much chaos in this world. I pray that God bless you and reward you for all the help that you give us people out here and I pray that you are also safe, in good health and blessed always. Thank you and God bless you 💖🥰💖
This is avery important and very helpful message! And, yes, huge hug again for all reading this who have suffered from severe NPD. We all need each other’s support here. I have felt so alone in my situation with this for a long time! I’m realizing lately I’m not alone! Please pray for me. I will do so for everyone here. Much love to everyone here! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I’ve been realizing I’ve been dating a narcissist . I began learning about them and also about myself being an empath. So I’ve constantly been preyed on throughout my life by them. I’m 47 and even was married to one for almost a decade. I’m just coming out of this one physically abused along with every kind of abuse. I am getting my nose reset tomorrow and I also have 3 facial fractures and Multiple contusions. He did finally get arrested but to my surprise his family is calling me yelling for beating myself up and blaming him. I have a protective order but I would surely hope the judge doesn’t actually believe that. But then again he is so malicious I’m sure he will concoct something sinister. I’ve joined websites and groups about this and I’m ready to put this behind me and finally be free to live a free happy life that I’ve been robbed of.
They continue to abuse and terrorize their children into adulthood, seeing them as personal property whose purpose in life is merely to shower them with adoration and to relentlessly cater to them while taking the blame for everything. The rage when an adult child refuses to comply with them and imposes consequences for their disgusting behaviour is spectacularly unhinged; facts simply don’t matter to these people, and you cannot convince them that their children even have basic human rights they have to respect.
My mothers approach was always to just live life and if someone attacks you ignore it, it’ll go away. Well I did that with my ex narcissist until he utterly destroyed my life like a snow globe to concrete. Now I’m broke from fighting for my children in court, my parents are broke from helping me and he’s talked my children into walking away from me. He ruined motherhood for me. Protect yourself from the moment you suspect a person is a narcissist. It could mean your whole life and all that you know.
I once had a female narcissist boss. She was a college drop-out, and I, a graduate of a prestigious national university. I, a former model, looked great at the time, and she was a large, overweight average-looking woman. I won most of the awards our company offered. Although I made her a lot of money, she obviously felt threatened by me and did what she could to make my life there as miserable as possible, including even asking for my resignation! I figured her out and reported her for allegedly committing a specific white collar crime. Our company conducted an investigation and, two weeks later, she left our company and her very high-paying job. One of my future bosses, who was a man, told me, “You lost a lot of battles, but you won the war.” She no doubt had bad-mouthed me in the managers’ meetings, so our managers presumably eventually learned the truth.
About 26 years late on the advice. By the time I left my narcissist I couldn’t even think a coherent thought. I was a mess and ended up homeless for a while with my kids. People would ask isn’t it time for me to go back. I told them I would rather die than go back. Fine now, own my home and its peaceful when you’re not being controlled 24/7
One of the biggest and easiest things to see quickly and notice without fail is that they have severe immediate Amnesia when it comes to remembering the wrongdoings or misgivings that they may have done only a day or even a hour before. And the inflated sense of ego. – thats the two best advising comments.
My older brother got trapped into marriage by a narcissist. He had plans to go to art school which meant leaving town. She got pregnant and I believe she planned it to trap him. I remember she would constantly say Infront of my brother she gave up her dream to work as a stenographer and gave it up for Steve when she got pregnant. In reality he gave up his dream for her and she manipulated him into marriage.
Accuse you of being controlling when you ask to be treated with respect and dignity and kindness. Accuse you of being manipulative when you express your pain or cry when they mistreat you. Try to convince you that you are in the wrong for feeling like they don’t care when they clearly show no empathy and refuse to change the behaviors that are hurting you. Will give the silent treatment or just completely stonewall you when you point out any wrong doing that they have committed. 😢I know from experience and it slowly kills you inside. It strips away every bit is self confidence and self value and leaves you so empty and feeling weak.. it’s psychologically damaging. You will question your own reality and wonder if you really are the crazy one if you really are the problem. And yet it’s only with them that you react the way you do and it’s only with them that you feel so low.
Wow! This is my first time here. And I LOVE your style! So clear! So helpful, yet easy to listen to. I adore how you speak our language, and have endless scenarios & details regarding your and our insights. Thank you so much for being here & doing this! (The sad thing is there are so MANY toxic narcissists, huh.) With much appreciation!! 🙏💗
My mother when I stood up to her BS, confronted her and showed her herself, “What is WRONG with you!? Get out of my house!!!” When you start questioning why you’ve been in relationships with narcissist after narcissist and set out to heal your childhood wounds, sometimes you end up right back where it all began. It’s been an eye opener, an awakener. Next month it all comes to an end! 👏🏻👏🏻🥳🥳🥳
In my case as a single dad, i had several people with narcissistic traits around me. Including my own mother. When i found out what was going on in my life and confronted them, my own mother called child services on me, and all hell broke loose. Let me put it short and simple, most of the narcissists i have met work in public positions such as child services, police, psycholigists, lawyers, and judges in the court of law. Atleast in my country.
Thank you so much literally this is how my cousin treats me I’ve never felt this way about a person no matter how much I tried the abuse has been continuously for over two years. I prayed continuously about it and God finally answered my prayers I am free, I know, it’s not my fault this person still harasses me .I’m blocking everything out because I love me more
This is something I have discovered more recently. If I have been out with friends, and recieve too much attention, which for some reasons, I naturally attract, without even trying too…its gotta go now with a round of excuses being made It has left me confused, very at times, and I really cannot understand it. I spend my entire life living alone, with my pet, and amuse myself, get invited to go places then this happens…seriously beginning to think I’m going coo coo lol. Except I know I’m not…People have already pulled that stunt on self before xx
I have a co-worker who is “the problem child,” out of everyone in our department. She has many of these qualities. First, I will call her Co-Worker B. Idk if she’s a narcissist, but, she’s extremely passive/aggressive. She definitely loves all attention on her, whether positive or negative, too. She DEFINITELY plays the victim at every twist & turn. Out of the blue. I keep praying & saying: if she could at least just be kind to everyone…… just be kind & people will actually like you & not be annoyed by you/her ugly ways. Just be kind & then our whole work crew would actually get along well with everyone in our department….. but, she’s the “key problem child,” and she would probably laugh & take pride in knowing she is the “problem child!” B: she pretends to be hurting in her hands, back, head, & etc. If she isn’t getting any attention by acting out, “oh, my head hurts!” Then, she will stand up & “fall” – then, other co-workers from other departments will rush to her side & pity her. “Are you ok? Here, give me your hand. Let me help you up.” She loves the attention. Yet, she wasn’t hurt to begin with. But, she will act hurt so the other people will baby her. It’s like, she has her face in her hands pretending to be hurt & she smiles or grins while screaming in agony how hurt she is. After a while, I stopped paying attention to her. I see her games. All the time. Co-Worker A: she has real allergies to scent. She can’t be around hand sanitizer. Air fresheners. Etc. Co-Worker B: she says she has the exact same allergies, but, it’s a lie.
Your article has been very informative and thorough….Enjoyed. I’ve been dealing with a couple of narcissists personalities for years. In my family and workplace. It gets frustrating at times. Mainly that they win the admiration of the majority of people, those who are not their victims. At times I have doubted myself. That maybe I’m at fault. However I rose above that insecurity and believe in myself finding self love.
narcissist are very clever and also understand this information, they will make people they’ve targeted out to be a narcissist, calling anything you accomplished in life as bragging etc, their goal is to isolate, disenfranchised, so that everything you say to anyone will be taken as proof that your narcissistic…question, does narcissistism tendencies run in families ??
My mother was a true narcissist and pathological liar, I caught on to all her tricks, never trust them, called on it, pissed her off to no avail . When you retaliate they’ll take it because they want to know what you know, but never tell them. It infuriates them . Don’t give them amo. Her sister in-law was just like her ” needy and greedy” 😂😂😂😂😂
My Dad is narcissist, when i was young à give him more attention to be loved and accepted, my mom was full of love and i was’nt giving attention to her… not as much. Humain want to be loved and accepted so when we are in a ego state we will stick to the narcissist more than others. When you wake up (spirit, soul) and detach from your ego you let the narcissist go because they don’t change and know you see… humain are Easy to manipulate and control in an ego state.
The narc that keeps putting herself into my life, is a women that has no connection to me at all. She has gone on spreading rumors in the community about how I live my life, even convincing some that I should not shop during the day (I work nights). She has told different people differant reasons why they should shun or harras me. Luckly, many people now, are recognizing her body language when she makes up these stories (she will start breathing heavy like she just ran a race, talking real fast, then ending with a sad story of some reason why shes not doing what ever I am doing). This is baffling to my friends as she is not someone in my life, rather an acquaintance in the community.
I work with a narc and I have been successful by simply ignoring them, even though they probably talk about me, I ignore that as well . The point is it don’t matter to me what anyone thinks about me but God, so I just let the narc do their thing, cause at the end of the day when I do not react then people will began to see the truth in regarding to their unhealthy obsession with me …
If this is not enough to make you leave a narc,let me tell you I read a story about a narc mother,who was good to one daughter and left another in hoapital premarure and never visited them,beat them up when they finally took that child home and the spoilt child ended up feeling sorry for their sibling,aa they were made to beleive their sibling was bad and deserve this. This is heartbreaking.
Sadly I never realized my ex husband was a narcissist until long after we split. I feel sick everytime I hear a podcast or read an article, as I check one more box on the ” yup, he did that” checklist. It’s sickening how he has gotten away with it, and yes he’s turned two of my sisters against me with his lies and manipulations. I haven’t spoken a word to him or about him in 10 years, and I just learned from a niece that finally broke away from all that toxicity, thst every family gathering she’s seen him at, he eventually steers the conversation to me. Still . THATS SCARY.
My daughter, Shari, is a full on Narcissist. She has been abusive towards me since her age of 19 years. She has done every single thing you have said. I had to disconnect from her, I have peace. She is now 42 years old. I prayed for a daughter in my womb but have lost her to narcissism. Very sad and hurtful. -MSTB
Very good. And please take it seriously. It is easy to think in your mind that a narcissist does not make such evil plans, because he appears like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The covert narcissist of course is more subtle in this approach. I have a sister-in-law who has nowhere to turn, and has asked (in narcissist tactics) that I decorate my house and make a wonderful Christmas for her. All the while she has been calling family and creating wedges between them and I. But I know that she wants to eat me up, like the wolf she is, like a turkey dinner, in the end. I really wish the best to all of you, during the holidays. Be careful, and always make it special for yourself first. It is ok to say “no” to the wolves.
To a narcissist, you will never be enough. To a narcissist, you will never have enough of what they believe they deserve. And you, in a relationship with a narcissist, will keep giving till you eventually become empty…you then become a shell, a husk, of what you once were… and then they will desert you, because you have nothing left to give them. Narcissists leave a trail of abandoned relationships, and those relationships are dovetailed with no time between them…not quite monkey branching, but the fact remains, a narcissist can’t live with themselves. To themselves, they are valueless without the adoration of whoever is their “one” at that moment.
If they want control, they can act like a darn human being. I’m so glad it’s over. I’ve got 3 of my 4 children that understand how there father dif nothing but lie, back stab me . I’m a strong woman, and that is what attracted him to me. Crazy. I started refusing to respond. So yes. My brakes were cut twice, broken eye orbit. My mom came to me in a dream when I felt lonely at the beginning of divorce., She stood at the end of my bed, she was already passed by then. But she said. What is wrong with you crying. Your ALIVE, now live the life you’ve wanted. And I’ve done my best, I’m happy, date some. Family is the joy of my life
My narcissist looked at me one day. He was upset and said that he might have borderline personality disorder. Like he had just found out? I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t say anything. He had made me afraid of him, and then was asking for sympathy? He never seemed to realize that he was hurting me and only cared about himself.
Yes, many are overt, but many use quiet, subtle ways, emotional ways, passive aggressive ways, to control yet still appear blamles. They’ll even use ways that the world/audience perceive as good or kind, so others think your crazy for being “upset” by their actions. Ex. They will make it known how hard they worked to do/buy something for you when they purposely chose to do something they KNOW is exactly what you don’t want or can’t do, that way they look like the unappreciated victim, and you look like the selfish bad guy, when you have a problem with it.
I worked with a woman who lied a lot. She needed attention and tried to make it so that she got attention. I stayed quiet and in the back so when I showed up all the little old ladies would get excited and wanted to chat- it drove the other woman nuts! She would give “compliments” that were really underhanded jabs. I recognized that acting like it was too smart and over my head for me to understand she was just testing me and trying to belittle me by constantly volunteering advice. Much easier to act stupid and save myself effort and time. Meanwhile my boss was completely fine with how I did my business. I feel bad for that lady because she is getting pretty old now and must reflect a bit. It’s been some years now since I’ve seen her. So thank goodness!
It’s difficult when a sibling is a narcissist, me & my brother just recently buried our sister which was his twin, me being the older sibling I’ve come to realize how evil & demonic he really is. At times I don’t believe he ever cared about her or me the lease bit he discarded her 6 years prior to her death. A month later after her death he discarded her only child & wants everyone to believe that our nephew is lazy & that’s why he chooses not to deal with him for crying out loud he witnessed his mother take her last breath in front of him 2 days after her birthday he’s not lazy he’s mourning the loss of his mom & most likely struggling with depression. I’ve gotten up the courage to feed him out of a long handle spoon his need for supply from me is over I’ve place so many boundaries up he’s hovering me on a constant basis. With forgiving him from all that he’s done this last past 3 years I chose not to engage with no phone conversations, no meet ups, nor do I attend any family gatherings. After perusal this particular article I have the clarity & understanding on his past & present behaviors. They are parasites & there’s no change in them EVER, they will suck the life right out of you if you let them.
My main concern is that the narcissist is dealing with anger issues, and this has left me scared. I am frightened about what he may do. He first left aggressively, and the second time his aggressive behaviour was louder, more public and more physical. While I have no contact, he has not met any of my contacts to use monkeys. How worried should I be now? What will he now do? Scared.
I did realize that my husband has been manipulating me for years. I was told I was being mentally abused. Being told that I was a nobody I couldn’t drive. I can’t cook. I’m stupid I’m in cape of doing anything I’m irresponsible. I’m not living a reality. And I don’t like driving with him in the car because he tells me I’m driving like this. I’m driving like that. I don’t do what I’m told to do. I don’t follow his instructions. I’ve been driving for about 40 years now, so I don’t know what his problem is. I’m just tired of being tired with him. Thank you for this, and it made a lot to me to learn more. He also left me a banded me because he said he can’t deal with me anymore.
I never ever knew about this and actually thought I was the problem. I’m 4 years Clean & Sober so I know I’ve played a part, however I’ve made amends which were accepted at the time. Now I can never satisfy my wife, I can’t believe how horrible she is and I actually thought we were starting to make good progress, how wrong I was when she destroyed me by character assassination and smear campaigns. I’m still trying to get over this unhealthy relationship, it’s been 3 weeks separated and the love bombing won’t stop. So glad I can block 🚫
my ex wife had a notebook full of stuff her and my mother discussed about my “shortcomings” as a child/teenager … by this point in my life all of those things were handled through means specific for each individual “flaw” .. since the notebook never gave her a clear plan she just threw it at me when I was sleeping
I just recently stepped into the world of narcissists. Here’s my story, I think its important that people are educated about those demonic monsters!! I’m kind of impressed that thanks to my experiences from my malignant/covert mothers rage I didn’t even flinch when I got to experience my ex narcissists rage! My mothers rage are way more powerful and scarier. I didn’t even flinch when he grabbed a knife and held it against my throat the last time we fought (I knew he wouldn’t have the guts to really use the knife) but yeah that was uncontrollable rage 😮💨 I was stunned the moment I realized that he COULD NOT hear me when I tried to have a grown up conversation to fix our relationship, every time he would go on with word salad (I so wished that I knew about word salad because that made me so confused and that gave me brain fog!) He was master of bringing you chaos 😵💫😵💫😵💫 I needed his help because I cannot do it on my own. Then the grief came upon me when I realized that he would NEVER change. I was really chocked by this insight that he has sabotaged with lies from day 1 and he has been doing that every day since. He is a pathological liar and he can’t help it. I caught him lying about the most petty things and I couldn’t understand why anyone would lie about petty things that no one cares about anyway. I have justified his behavior every time I caught him lie to my face, so many red flags but I was blind. His betrayal was so painful and he has been backstabbing me many times.
To walk away from someone who has trapped you by preying on you, STILL makes you SUPER STRONG 💪. The goal was to kill, steal and destroy you, and as a survivor- you not only out witted them, you escaped beyond the bruises, afflictions, opinions of others and pain. The mission was destroyed, and not only that you can spot a narc a mile away now. You value yourself because you know what you got out of. Now it’s time for your glow. The best way to get back at a narc, is to get your shine back. How???? Pray & speak life over yourself in the mirror. Narcs word curse you. Look in the mirror and everything they said to you, anything that comes to mind- I. Literally say in the mirror: “I reverse “what narc said”, over my mind, heart, soul and spirit in JESUS Name. II. I bind “fear, depression, poverty, lack, etc” in JESUS Name. III. I loose joy, peace, confidence, etc. Over myself in JESUS Name IV. I receive 7 fold back everything the Narc stole from in JESUS Name. Sever all soul ties and connection to the Narc and their flying monkeys. V. LORD restore me physically, mentally, emotionally and renew me spiritually by your blood JESUS in your name JESUS. VI. Pray this too every time: I cover myself with the whole Armour of GOD, I plead the blood of JESUS over everything concerning me, and bind up all retaliation and attack over me, my family and household in JESUS Name. LORD confuse my enemies and block all monitoring spirits in JESUS Name. It kills the Narc to lose. They may even show up because they know when you glow up.
Triage technique: they cultivate a connection in order get leverage and try to turn someone close to you – a client, a colleague – against you. They look for a chance or create a scenario to allow them do that, often playing victim at the same time. Yep, been on the end of that one. They are pure trouble and controlled by malicious entities. Best and only recourse generally – if its possible – is to leave their orbit before they do too much damage.
Greetings. the behaviors you described are so true! Difficult people are always Neverending.never satisfied and annoying. But, these kind of people have no conscience everything is about what they want. I find this kind of people very disturbing! You see them coming home the other way or if trapped by them find a way out ASAP!
Im married to a 2 year old narcissist orangutan . We have been together for 8 yrs. Yes, I might be a lunatic for my devotion. But I have always told my friends ” Always understand and know the animals you are around ” . That way you will always know what boundaries to create to control a healthy relationship for yourself dealing with anyone, anything, and everything. ❤
More dangerous is narcissist woman I hv a friend who’s a lawyer a narcissist. Once I understand how she use people and how she manipulates them I silently started to ignore her and stepped out from her circle of friends. On the other hand she saw us very friendly attitude but behindvalways bad mouthed about all her friends who help her . I walked out silently stay silently Now she phoned to my mom acting as a victimize one I never explain things Then after a month She phoned me I answer her very cool manner and told her I m busy now will catch u later I know inside her mind she is angry with Me I saw How she hate people, jealous when she couldn’t control them. Anyhow she can’t dage me much I 7sually Stable and independent and not closed friends or common friends with her. Anyhow this is very useful knowledge to be careful . thank you.
Wow I had all the above..lol… he told me tht, he might have prostate cancer and they have to do a procedure see if it’s actually cancer and when I asked him what kind of procedure and when is the procedure… When procedure has been done (so called) he tells me they did a long cut on his testicles, and then put a Band-Aid on it….AND then he went right back to work…. I said huh…. IT DON’T HURT, ARE YOU COMFORTABLE.. HE’S SAYING AIN’T NOTHING WRONG LOL ……
Where were you a couple of years ago???? Listen, I had someone in my circle that I thought was my friend!!!! You described her verbatim!!!!! I did not know that narcissists existed. I learned a couple of years later!!! EXACTLY what you said. She turned friends against me listen, you already said it all!!! 0MG!!! Now I know exactly what’s going on she’ll NEVER have that opportunity again!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!..❤
Wow thank you for this powerful information, it explains why an ex of mine behave like the way he does as I didn’t understand it for a long time. He even caused problems between me and a good friend for years, then one day she realised what was happening as we compared notes. He cannot sustain a relationship at all now I know why.
I started learning this topic on NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIORS during the Trump era. I saw the behaviors on his supporters as well. I look on both political parties now and reviewing their past. Narcissistic Behaviors in love relationships and in the work environment etc; – I am learning a lot about this kind of toxicity, deception, lies, manipulative and codependency and controlling behaviors. That this behaviors are very dangerous and can be a recipe for criminal behaviors if not treated. Thank you for this article.
So many people are aware of this disorder. You would think they would stay away from situations that involves bullying or targeting since this is a tool or narcs, but that is not the case. Seems like narcissists talking about narcissists. Sniff, sniff, sniff. Most people reeks of this problem on some level. If you are a covetous person, you are likely a narcissist or a strong tool.
Yes, this article resonates with me, this is y mother and sister- all tactics that they have pulled with me, even as a child 🙄 and I have All that gas lighten, hovering, and flying monkeys 🐒 🙈, my family even stoop so low that they went on a website name Radaris and said that I was deceased, and I am NOT, there is NO money, life insurance they want get because am NOT dead!!
Ugh this is exactly, word by word my experience with someone like this. I didn’t fall for the love bombing, so he went “woe me, why won’t you date me, I’m a good man wahhh, going to sit in the corner and ignore you for a bit because I’m mad that you won’t date me” and after so much guilt trip I fell for that. They’re truly damaged people and they bring that destruction unto people unaware of such toxicity. They carry a huge pain and burden. Yet we’re the ones having to heal what they broke inside us. Malice, that’s the word i was looking for. We were unaware of such malice.