Are Parents Mistreating Their Kids?

Infantilizing parenting involves assuming children cannot do things they are developmentally capable of and stifling their ability to try. This behavior can lead to problems later in life, as it is not possible to love your child too. It is common among parents with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a mental health condition. Overprotective parenting can have negative effects on children’s development and should be addressed by an online therapist.

Gentle parenting is often confused with coddling or making them co-dependent, but these assumptions are not entirely accurate. Parents who hover too close may raise risk-taking children or teenagers, as kids who feel overwhelmed by their parents are more likely to engage in risky activities. Parents should focus on lessons about sharing and compromise, and don’t always give the baby first choice.

Parentification involves a role reversal between a parent and child, causing them to act as the emotional or practical caregiver. Parents need to strive to nurture their child to bring up an emotionally healthy, independent human being who can learn to solve problems. According to parenting experts, baby-like behavior is a sign of a normal phase, and ignoring or disciplining it could backfire. There is a link between excessive parental attention and the development of narcissistic traits in children.

Psychologist Anna Mathur points out that there are practical differences that make our lives as parents significantly different now than before. Parentification or parent-child role reversal is the process of role reversal where a child or adolescent is obliged to support the family system.


📹 6 Parenting Mistakes That Ruins A Child’s Growth (For Parents)

… is how your parents raised you. So here are some common parenting mistakes that negatively affect their children’s growth.


Is it normal to not enjoy parenting?

Hating being a mom is not normal, but it is common and not abnormal. Many mothers feel exhausted and annoyed due to their children’s anxiety-provoking behavior. Motherhood is hard, and it is normal to regret being a mom and question if you made a mistake. It can be tiresome, stressful, and lose much of the freedom you once had without children.

Motherhood can get easier if you are healthy and have the resources and support to care for yourself. However, if you feel unusually anxious, angry, floppy, weepy, or experiencing chronic insomnia, it may be due to a mood disorder such as postpartum depression or anxiety.

Being a mother is tough, as you need to feed, give your baby naps, pump and change diapers, and have sleepless nights. It is important to remember that you are not a bad mom if you don’t love it.

What does poor parenting look like?

A large Irish study reveals that hostile parenting involves frequent harsh treatment and discipline, which can be physical or psychological. The study found that about 10 of the children were in a high-risk band for poor mental health, with children who experienced hostile parenting being more likely to fall into this group. Internalizing symptoms such as anxiety and social withdrawal were also observed, while externalizing symptoms like impulsive and aggressive behavior and hyperactivity were also observed.

At what age is parenting the hardest?

A recent study indicates that the age of eight is the most challenging age to parent, with the ages of six and seven following closely behind. Furthermore, the pre-tween phase may also present certain challenges. The author has been engaged in discourse with their daughter regarding this transformation.

Is it wrong to not take care of your parents?
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Is it wrong to not take care of your parents?

Adult children may not have legal obligations to be primary caregivers for elderly family members, but many feel a moral and ethical obligation to physically care for their parents. If you cannot be a caregiver, offer compassion and set up a time for your siblings to think through the news. Brainstorm care options before talking, leaving space for your siblings to propose suggestions. Consider short-term or trial solutions, such as part-time hourly caregivers or a trial stay at an assisted living community.

While it’s normal to feel guilty when you decide to stop being a caregiver, there are other ways to view this change. Steven Zarit, a professor in the Human Development and Family Studies Department at Pennsylvania State University, believes that everyone has limits and should not feel guilty if they can’t continue.

Is parentification trauma?
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Is parentification trauma?

Parentification is a phenomenon where children become emotional support for their parents or siblings, often suppressing their own feelings to meet their needs. This can lead to emotional development issues, burnout, and a distorted understanding of boundaries and consent. Instrumental Parentification involves children taking on adult tasks, leading to burnout. Sexualized Parentification can result from exposure to inappropriate content, while Parent-focused Parentification involves children caring for their parents’ needs, causing guilt and anxiety.

Sibling-focused Parentification involves children juggling discipline, care, and their own needs. Identifying a parentified child can be challenging, as signs may appear to be remarkable maturity or responsibility. However, beneath this facade, these children may struggle with emotional and behavioral issues, such as tantrums and meltdowns.

What is cold mother syndrome?

Cold mother syndrome is a parenting style characterized by emotional distance, dismissiveness, and rejection, often accompanied by neglect of a child’s emotional needs. This can lead to severe psychological effects, including low self-esteem, self-doubt, paranoid tendencies, impaired decision-making abilities, and a tendency to be a people pleaser. Growing up with an emotionally distant mother can have long-term consequences on mental health and interpersonal relationships, such as challenges in forming deep connections and a tendency to engage with emotionally unavailable partners or unhealthy relationships.

What is the psychology of coddling?

Coddling is the act of treating someone in an indulgent or overprotective way, often resulting in hurt or discomfort. This natural impulse to protect someone is often the worst thing one can experience. Coddling is a form of love, where one assumes a position of power over them, ensuring they do not experience any discomfort or pain. Axel Rose famously said, “I’d hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain”.

Is it normal for parents to cuddle their child?

The text provides guidance on the appropriate use of physical affection with children, emphasizing the importance of respecting their comfort and autonomy. It cautions against forcing physical contact and suggests that it should be initiated only when the child is ready and willing. The text recommends providing financial support to HuffPost at the rate of $2 for the dissemination of quality journalism and the creation of a free account for the purpose of reading the material.

What is toxic mothering?
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What is toxic mothering?

Toxic parent traits are disturbing behaviors that can affect a child’s mental health at any age. These behaviors can be subtle and not always obvious, but can harm a child’s well-being and development. Toxic parents might use verbal belittlement, emotional manipulation, and physical intimidation to control their children. Understanding and learning how to deal with and navigate unhealthy family dynamics is crucial for having a more stable lifestyle.

There are various types of toxic parents, including dismissive, helicopter, narcissistic, passive, and permissive parents. Dismissive parents overlook or undermine their child’s feelings and needs, creating an environment where the child feels undervalued and struggles with self-expression. Helicopter parenting micromanages every aspect of a child’s life, stifling independence and developing critical problem-solving skills. Narcissistic parents center their family dynamics around themselves, seeking or demanding admiration and struggling to empathize with others’ needs.

Passive or permissive parents avoid confrontation, have difficulty maintaining expectations, and rarely set boundaries or demands. Children raised by permissive parents may have a chaotic path in life and struggle with authority.

Understanding and learning how to deal with and navigate unhealthy family dynamics can help children develop a more stable lifestyle.

Why do some parents coddle their children?
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Why do some parents coddle their children?

The overprotective parent “coddles” her child when she believes that completely shielding her child from inevitable problems and disappointments is a necessary part of parenting. Subsequently, the coddled child will learn to depend on others to rescue him from life’s calamities instead of depending on himself. Coddling also has to do with over indulgence and spoiling. This leads to a child expecting that the world is a place where his needs are always met.

Go Ahead—Coddle Your Infant!. Most experts agree that parents should immediately tend to their infant’s physical and emotional needs. Parents are teaching their infant to trust his caregivers and to learn that home is a safe haven. Lauren Solotar, Ph. D., Chief Psychologist and Senior Vice President of clinical services with the nationally renowned May Institute, concurs. She says, “Infants are totally different. They are 100 percent dependent on their caretaker physically, cognitively, and emotionally.” Coddling becomes a problem when children get older.

Nurture versus Coddle. Parents need to strive to nurture (not coddle) their child, in order to bring up an emotionally healthy, independent human being who can learn to solve problems and conflicts on his own. Children need to learn that one does not always get what one wants, and that life is sometimes unfair.

What are the signs of coddling parents?
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What are the signs of coddling parents?

Coddling is a parenting style where parents acknowledge their child’s emotions and take responsibility for addressing them. This can involve dramatizing situations, blaming others, becoming overly involved, and infantilizing the child. Coddling is a form of distrust in the child’s ability to handle emotions independently, which can lead to anxiety and difficulty in accepting emotions and gaining emotional intelligence.

Coddling parents often struggle with setting appropriate limits, as they give the child power over their emotions and actions, which the child cannot handle. The child will continue to test the parent to find the boundaries and ask for a leadership role. The child’s message is that their parent believes they are a baby and doesn’t believe they can handle their life independently. They will fix their problems or give them what they want when they cry, yell, scream, hit, threaten, etc., and they deserve for others to do what they want if they are upset.


📹 How narcissistic parents “misuse” their children

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE …


Are Parents Mistreating Their Kids?
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Rae Fairbanks Mosher

I’m a mother, teacher, and writer who has found immense joy in the journey of motherhood. Through my blog, I share my experiences, lessons, and reflections on balancing life as a parent and a professional. My passion for teaching extends beyond the classroom as I write about the challenges and blessings of raising children. Join me as I explore the beautiful chaos of motherhood and share insights that inspire and uplift.

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3 comments

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  • I wish I could send this to my parents without hearing ‘You’re so ungrateful.’ and ‘We are doing the best we can what more do you want?!’ Like seriously I am already damaged from my childhood and now I have to watch the same things happen to my siblings because I’m not allowed to say anything about it. It is fucking pathetic how parents cannot see the signs.

  • With being forced to eat something you don’t want to, that actually happened to me multiple times when I was just in 2nd and 3rd grade My older brother and I had this babysitter who I hated with a passion, cause we were never allowed to do anything, but what really got to me was that all she would feed us was plain white rice. It got to the point where I would cry but she never let me leave the table until I was done. She even made us take it home if we didn’t finish before our mom got there. I don’t go to her anymore but this led me to absolutely despise plain white rice. Im growing back into eating it again, but it still makes me kinda upset when I have to eat it rather than it being a choice

  • i always remember being praised when i got the absolute best result after exhausting myself, but always told “youre not trying” when i get anything less because im already tired from doing so much before, and due to my adhd its even more difficult to focus and get things done no matter how much i exhaust myself to the point of passing out (this has happened multiple times during school years, even as early as 2nd or 3rd grade) parents, please heed this advice: NEVER say “you arent trying” when your child is struggling to keep up, especially when youre aware your child has some sort of neurodivergent disorder that makes things in this very neurotypical world much more challenging – ask them how you can help, dont pressure them too much, set reminders and provide some motivation, and make sure they know youre proud of how hard they are working, this will all go a very long way

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