Early childhood is a crucial period for children’s self-concept development, which is an integral part of their social-emotional development. Children begin to develop a sense of self around age 2, using specific and concrete behaviors such as using self-referential terms and evaluative words. They also begin to recognize themselves in a mirror or photograph.
A good self-concept enables a child to accept responsibility, achieve success in school, and grow into a productive member of society. Indicators for children include demonstrating understanding and use of concepts through words like “mine”, “me”, and “you”, pointing to themselves in images and other types of media, frequently testing limits, asking for help from familiar adults but may begin to attempt to complete tasks autonomously.
As self-concept develops, so does self-esteem. In addition to the academic, social, appearance, and physical/athletic dimensions of self-esteem in middle and high school, self-concept development in kids is an evaluation about themselves. To develop a concept of the self, a child must take the self as an object and view it as others do. A good self-concept enables a child to accept responsibility, achieve success in school, and grow into a productive member of society.
For example, if peers consistently compliment a child’s athletic abilities, they may develop a positive self-concept related to sports. They also start to show signs of feeling emotionally “self-conscious”, such as embarrassment and guilt.
Language is another indicator of self-concept development in children. Starting around 2 years of age, children use self-referring terms (e.g., “I” and “me”) and are beginning to develop a sense of self. Self-concept reflects how an adolescent evaluates themselves in domains where they consider success important.
In conclusion, children develop a self-concept based on their experiences with their reactions and actions. Interventions for enhancing self-concept require a sound working theory, receptive and informed participants, thoughtful planning, and treatment fidelity.
📹 Low Self-Esteem: Signs You Have It, How You Get It, How to Increase It
Your self-esteem is how you see yourself and your opinion of yourself. How useful do you feel? Do you believe you have good …
What are the 7 indicators of development?
The development gap is a global issue that affects the economic and social progress of a country. It is often measured by various indicators such as Gross Domestic Product (GDP), Gross National Product (GNP), GNP per capita, birth and death rates, Human Development Index (HDI), infant mortality rate, literacy rate, and life expectancy. These indicators help to understand the extent to which a country is developing and how it compares to other countries in terms of their development.
What is an example of concept development in children?
Children aged 21 to 36 months are beginning to develop their language skills. They are able to pretend to use objects in their intended manner, identify and name objects and people, use objects to represent others, and identify characteristics of objects. They can also group objects by similar characteristics. The child’s environment is labeled, new objects introduced, and they engage in play. They can sort objects by one attribute and identify objects that are the same through matching activities. By this age, children can apply their knowledge of simple concepts to new situations.
How and when does a child develop a self-concept?
Self-concept in children begins with a physical realization that they are separate from their primary caregivers, usually their mother. Around five months of age, children realize they may be separate individuals and develop self-awareness. Older infants can respond to their names, and around 18 months, children demonstrate self-recognition in mirrors and photographs. Social development supports the idea that children are building their mental self-concept, with children identifying their body parts and using words like “I” and “mine”.
The “terrible twos” period is when children begin to exert their independence, often resulting in screams, tears, and frustration. However, expectations of behavior are determined by societal and cultural contexts. In Western culture, adults encourage independence and expect very young children to control behavior and emotions that they cannot manage at their age. Realistic expectations, patience, and sensitive guidance from caregivers can help make the “terrible twos” a positive experience for young children. Overall, understanding how children develop and adjusting expectations based on societal and cultural contexts can help children navigate this challenging period.
How does a child develop a sense of self?
Self-concept is a crucial aspect of a child’s development, as it involves their thoughts and feelings about themselves. Children are not born with the ability to recognize their own feelings, but their early relationships and experiences with caregivers shape their self-concept. This awareness of themselves as separate individuals is essential for forming positive relationships and building self-confidence. Self-concept begins with a physical realization that children are separate from their primary caregivers, usually their mother.
Around five months, children realize they may be separate individuals and develop self-awareness. Around 18 months, children demonstrate self-recognition in mirrors and photographs. Social development during this time supports the idea that children are building their mental self-concept, as they can identify their body parts and refer to themselves in the first person. They also begin using words like “I” and “mine”. As children continue to develop self-concept, they begin to identify their own characteristics and feelings in everyday interactions.
What are the indicators that a child has developed a sense of self?
Self-conscious emotions like embarrassment, pride, guilt, and shame indicate a child’s development of self-consciousness. By three years old, children are motivated to make amends, proud of their behavior, or hide when unhappy. They also start to think about themselves from a second person’s perspective, acquiring a stable self-concept. Between the first and second birthdays, children produce simple self-descriptions and evaluations, which become more complex over time.
By eight years old, they have a stable idea of their personality traits and dispositions, and feel valuable and competent. Individual differences in personality and feelings of self-worth can influence a child’s approach to social situations and academic achievement. Children with positive self-esteem have better social and academic outcomes, as they focus on success and aren’t deterred by failure. Parents can help their child develop positive self-esteem by reacting positively to them and their achievements, and helping them overcome negative events.
How do you identify self-concept?
Rogers’ self-concept is a three-part concept: ideal self, self-image, and self-esteem. It is influenced by various factors, including our interactions with important people, and is how we perceive our behaviors, abilities, and unique characteristics. It includes beliefs such as “I am a good friend” or “I am a kind person”. It also includes how we view personality traits, roles in life, hobbies or passions, and our interactions with the world.
Our self-perception is crucial as it affects our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors, as well as how we feel about the person we think we are, including whether we are competent or have self-worth. It is important to recognize that our self-perception is a reflection of our identity, and it is crucial to address these issues to maintain a positive self-concept.
What is an example of self-concept in children?
The term “self-concept in early childhood” is used to describe a child’s understanding of their existence as a separate entity from others. This includes the understanding of the existence of a parent, even if the child is no longer able to see them.
What is development indicator for kids?
The Early Child Development Index (ECDI) is a 10-item tool used to evaluate the developmental progress of children aged 3 to 5 in literacy-numeracy, physical, social-emotional, and learning areas. It was developed by UNESCO and focuses on four areas: literacy-numeracy, physical, social-emotional, and learning. The ECDI highlights the importance of early intervention for young children globally.
How do we develop self-concept?
Early childhood is a crucial period for forming an initial sense of self, which is a social process that involves considering how others view us. Interactionist theorists Cooley and Mead offer two explanations for how a sense of self develops. Cooley’s Looking-Glass Self suggests that our self-concept comes from examining how others respond to us, which helps us make judgments about our worthiness, strength, beauty, and other aspects. However, we may not always interpret their responses accurately, so our self-concept is not a mirror reflection of others’ views.
After forming an initial self-concept, we may use our existing self-concept as a mental filter to filter out responses that do not fit our ideas of who we are. This process is pronounced in preschoolers and later in life when we are in new situations, such as school, job, or personal roles. As we feel more confident in who we are, we focus less on how we appear to others.
What are the self indicators?
A self-indicator is defined as a chemical substance that is capable of indicating the absolute endpoint of a chemical reaction. This includes reactions such as titration, whereby the indicator itself participates in the reaction. Examples of self-indicators include potassium permanganate (KMNO₄).
What are indicators in child development?
The Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey (MICS) is a tool used to measure developmental potential in early childhood. It assesses children aged 36-59 months in four domains: language/literacy, numeracy, physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development. The MICS surveys calculate an overall Index Score as the percentage of children who are on track in at least three of these domains. However, the MICS is a composite index, which should not be used for Sustainable Development Goal (SDG) monitoring purposes as it expands the number of variables to consider.
Additionally, tracking the ECD Index in all countries is challenging due to its reliance on MICS data. Other measures of caregiver- or parent-reported young child development, such as the Early Development Instrument and the Index of Early Human Capability, are also being used across high-, middle-, and low-income countries. Assessments that capture development in specific areas over time, such as language or emotional skills, are also important complements to this form of measure.
📹 Factors that influence self concept
This video can be used as an intro to Life Orientation Lessons about Self-Concept.
I’m 13 years old and having a really hard time with social anxiety. I started to think more about it and realized it’s because my self esteem is so low and I’m constantly thinking about what others think of me. I can’t remember the last time I had a positive thought about myself and I feel like I’m never good enough and constantly comparing myself to others. I hope anyone else going through this gets better, just know you’re not alone😊💗
After Cpt I was told that the root of my anxiety and depression is low self esteem and they gave me a bunch of ways to improve it. Has anyone really improved their self esteem? I feel like it’s a core belief that I’ll never get rid of. I fake it until I make it and when I make it or half way through I tend to self sabotage and back to square one if not worse
I feel like I don’t deserve to like myself or to have self esteem. Whenever I talk about my problems someone always points to something about me that makes me “privileged” or something and I just have to suck it up and keep moving on with life while still hating myself despite all the effort and energy I’ve put into my life.
I had low self esteem since I was 4 yrs old….I never met my real father but I remember him being in a jail suit & a Santa Claus suit but everything when I was 4, my mom used to get beat up by my real father but I don’t remember any of those fights but I do remember when he threw a bottle at her from like the fourth floor and the glass bottle bust and i got scared, than I remember my father was with like 20 guys trying to kill my stepfather, they didnt open the door, than over the years of my entire life as a child & teen my now stepfather beat up my mother all the time and the police was at our house every day or every other day! I was the only person in my family that wasn’t good in school I never pass any grade, they just kept passing me up after first grade once I failed that…. my siblings all got honor roll student growing up I only got straight Fs and was Picked on in school cuz I didn’t have swag, my brother didn’t even want to hang with me he was the oldest and I look at him as a father figure cuz I didn’t have a father and I didn’t really relate to my stepfather not to mention I’m the youngest in the family but my brother always ignored me even when he was super young, we 8 years apart, we never talked about girls or nothing he just kind of does his own thing and me and my sisters grew apart fast too they see I wasn’t getting good grades and they kind of distance themselves in life as we got older from me, even told me things like you would never be nobody cuz u make dumb choices things like that.
1.Identify your core beliefs (“I am not good enough, I am defective, I am unloveable”) 2.Identify your safety behaviours that help you avoid facing these beliefs (people pleasing, not speaking up, hiding,perfectionnism, not having ambition) 3. Face your fears by breaking your rules or dropping your safety behaviour ( test your fears) 4.replace self criticism with self-compassion (even if you are rejected, give yourself praise for stating your opinion, you are not responsible for other people opinion)
6:56 Although I agree with point 3, it’s important to be aware that if you have surrounded yourself with people who validate your negative beliefs, they will reject and shame you when you start voicing your true opinions. The entire relationship is based on you believing you’re worthless. Look into communication skills to help this process as it takes a lot of skill, willpower and strength to face rejection head on. True friends will never try and keep you small.
this just confuses me more, man. My parents haven’t wronged me in any way I can remember and I love them and they love me, and while I’m not where I want to be compared to my friends, they’ve never made me feel bad about myself. Quite the opposite, actually. I was briefly bullied, but not nearly as bad as most and it didn’t last long thanks to my friends and parents helping me deal with it. But even after all of my friends and family being supportive I just have such a lack of self confidence even in areas where I objectively really know what I’m doing. It feels like everyone else is always better than me regardless of how good I am at whatever area of life I scrutinize or how much effort I put in and I just never feel like I’m as good as everyone else and it just eats at me. I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t mind getting into arguments, and I try not to be overly critical of myself, I just have a big lack of self confidence and I’m really insecure about achievements and competition, I feel like I tie my self worth to my achievements while also constantly feeling like I’m not good enough to achieve anything. Anyway, sorry for the rant if someone read this, I just needed to let it out and vent a little. I’m at a loss
0:04 I wasn’t taught anything growing up but financially enabled and when I was unemployed in my 20s, I was told by parent I’ve had it easy because I never had to work. I think that answers the how useful do you feel question, which is not much, but still trying to become more useful and make my life more meaningful.
No disrespect to this website’s owner (Dr. Tracey Marks) but there’s an unhealthy, all pervasive, quasi-religious obsession with ”self-esteem” that’s been around for the past 20 years or so that bothers me (to put it mildly). Words have meaning and meaning defines reality; **OXFORD definition of ‘esteem’: respect and admiration, typically for a person / to regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration.** Only narcissists admire themselves, regard themselves highly, have high sense of their own importance etc… the opposite of very low sel-esteem. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying people should have NO self-esteem at all BUT rather have SELF-RESPECT; set your own moral and ethical bounderies and treat people, whoever they are or wherever they’re from, the same way you want to be treated. Self-esteem may sound like a sane and noble concept, but the side effects are that we’re burying objective reality and truth under a pile of ”feel good” euphemisms. Let’s not forget that the cult (it sure seems like one) of self-esteem is the same concept that brought a generation to its knees by bringing lower college standard admissions, participation trophies and even (believe it or not) kindergarten diploma… all this and much more in the name of ”replacing what works with what sounds good”. Western society is producing candy-coated turds and labeling/selling them as candybars to the unwitting masses. Remember; just because people say ”nice” things to you doesn’t always mean they mean it.
I was the perfectionist gifted kid who KNEW they were doing amazing in school… but it was never good enough to gain parental approval, so it just stopped mattering to me that I was smart or curious or driven at all. I’m finally going back to my dreams but my parents have absolutely no awareness of how badly they’ve hurt me and probably will never really believe it’s their doing. Just chalk it up to autism and “emotional issues” as usual… all without acknowledging that autism is hereditary and parental coldness is a strong predictor of future low resilience
(Revised my comment) Self-esteem = confidence. You get confidence when you know how to do something well. Confidence = Skill. You get skills from learning. You learn from courses, classes, teachers, mentors, etc. Self-esteem simply means you are ready to take the leap because you’re not ready. You’re not ready because you still need to learn. And then when ready, you need to tap into your ego to start succeeding in whichever endeavor you’re chasing a win from. Unaware of Ego = Villain. Aware of Ego = Hero. Hero chooses to use its power for good. Therefore, you need to use the power of your ego to succeed. Opposite of ego is humility, humbleness. Ego is about yourself, being the best or worst. Humility and humbleness is about others. People unaware of their egos seem arrogant because they don’t know when to turn it off. People aware of their egos turn it off 90% of the time, the remaining 10% is used to get what they need; career, hobby, sports, betting, etc… As long as your main identity is humility, then the use of ego when needed is powerful to you and anyone and everyone around you because if you win, others win. Because aware of ego means you want to win not only for yourself but also for your people. Hence, the hero.
Tracey! You’re like the 1st, in my journey, that mentions my situation. I had to stop and say thank you. @3:03 Sooo many focus on parental and yes, definitely, haha but im mixed… I moved from a diverse place in Boston to a very, very small town in Alabama. My peers, the trauma from my peers in elementary school to middle school was wild! I’m in my 30s and it was still segregated down there and being mixed having to “choose sides” ahhh so much. They had a public school (all black basically) private school (all white) I had my black friends and then my white friends, but not together.😭so much impacted me and unfortunately I perceived it as negative….Anyway! Thank you! Hahaha you’re really helping many of us who do not have access to this in our lives with a lot, so again.. thank you. 💜
My mom always praised my younger sister because she was outgoing always smiling made good grades in school and the life of any social gathering, nice dresser and good cook. My mom always criticized me growing up. I was the opposite of my sister I was always shy didn’t smile much and stayed to myself average dresser and mediocre. I always tried too hard for everyone to like me but it never worked, they could not see me. I was always over shadowed by my sister. I felt like I was invisible. As an adult I still have low self esteem it has affected all of my relationships with people. I don’t think I am good enough. Then in return people don’t see me as good enough. It is a never ending battle.
I feel vindicated dropping my friends from school now. They were nice people but after 10 years of being the butt of every joke simply because I was the easy going one who let it fly, it wore away at me. Since I broke away from them I haven’t been able to make new friends because I work mostly alone at a small company and don’t have time to join any social groups, but I feel 10,000% better about myself and know what behaviour I will not longer tolerate from others.
Thank you very much for this article. I sometimes struggle with low self-esteem but am making progress. Have now met a wonderful man who suffers from this as well, and am trying to help him with his inner dialogue. It’s a constant battle, but proactive articles like this one help tremendously. Thanks again for it!
The Worth You will not lose your worth if you do not live up to the expectations of others and yourself. We are so unimaginably worthy. We are good, strong and great. As Oprah Winfrey said: “Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Be proud of you.” Who We Are Defines Our Worth Sometimes we judge our worth based on our failed or fulfilled expectations. When we fail to meet our expectations, we think of ourselves as failures. We are not failures. We gain our worth not by the things we do, but by who we are. Who we are defines our worth. When our heart is right and good, we go beyond our failed and fulfilled expectations and recognize our worth. Low Self-Esteem Low self-esteem is a good thing. The grass that grows too high is cut by the lawnmower. And when your low self-esteem increases, the lawnmower has to cut it again. Because low self-esteem keeps you fresh and humble.
I grew up with a father who gave us the silent treatment for days if he was pissed off. I grew up thinking I was not good enough and stupid and insecure and in fear of rejection. I couldn’t make my dad happy most of the time. I’m 57 now and have been working on myself for years and still have low self esteem. I pray I can some day finally break free from this🙏🏼🙏🏼
hard not to see this as the result of class society. in primitive communism children were raised collectively by many parents, and there is evidence that children in general do better when they have more caregivers, even more than 2. But 2 might even be enough if every adult wasn’t beholden to an excessive 40 hour work week and toxic work environments that suck their emotional energy.
The behaviours and attitude you have with low self esteem can be quite hard to spot at first. It’s laid there in plain sight but your low self worth usually camouflages it. Only recently did I realize how critical I was being to myself all the time under the guise of just being honest and realistic. The more digging I did the more I found these toxic little beliefs that blocked me off from enjoying just being myself and progressing naturally. It’s really interesting how the brain will run in this deeply flawed circuit just because we see it as our “normal”
At early age of 10 years old I have started to work. The place I was working was abusive towards children there was a lot of children working they would slap the shit out of you if you have done even littlest thing wrong. Knowing that I could be slapped for anything that I do wrong, I looked whatever I was doing with doubt. Whatever I was doing I was always in doubt if it is right or wrong. One day after another slapping event, I delibrated running away from work and telling my mother that I was being beaten by the others. I deliberated I don’t know how much but I took the courage to run away to my family, to my mother. I came to her crying in corner of the room telling what happened. After a while the owner of the shop that I was working came and asked to my mother to send me back to work. After telling my mother about my situation what do you think my mother has done? She send me back to that hell. This happened while I was a child. Unto this day I still strugle expressing what I think because of being wrong. Always questioning myself. That is why I always look towards other people’s support if what I am doing right. And if I am trying something original that comes from me like writing I always look at my creation with doubt and without acknowledgment of others I discard whatever I am doing. It’s real hard questioning yourself at every step that you take. Looking whatever you do with doubt.
I wonder if too much praise and approval from parent(s) can cause low self esteem. My mom has always prasied everything I’ve done. EVERYTHING… with WAY too much emphasis and emotion. When I was a kid I could’ve drawn a circle and she’d have said “oh… my.. GOD. THIS. This is BETTER THAN THE MONA LISA. You’re superhuman. You deserve to be KING OF EARTH for this UNBELIEVABLE CIRCLE!!!!” ..I’m paraphrasing.. and maybe embellishing.. but I’ve always HATED being praised by anyone for anything. I’ve also always (as long as I can remember) had low self esteem. I feel defective, inferior.. all the things you listed in the article. I feel like I’m a “textbook case.” I’ve never really understood why. I did have some trouble making friends as a teenager, but who didn’t?
I had debilitating low self esteem throughout my entire 20’s. I hated myself and the way I looked. This was due to bullying in school and I never had anyone in my family to help me build up my resistance. This cause me to deal with men that I looked up to but took advantage of me. I refused the guys that actually liked me. Now in my late 30’s Ive finally gotten to the place of loving myself. Its a daily struggle but i’m healthy now.
There’s just alot of valid reasons for me to have low self esteem. That’s the issue. Yeah sure people shouldn’t compare and should accept who they are, but as long as I have awareness, observational skills, and ability to judge myself from 3rd person view, I will always have self loathing because I know Im not good enough. It’s not conditioning, rather just observation and conclusion. Sometimes, life is just the way it is regardless of how much you don’t want it to be that way.
It’s not necessarily just childhood. By that logic, this can’t change. I think my issues sprung from early teen / twenties. Make mistakes / get negative feedback / have bad experiences enough, you start to lose trust in yourself. This manifests in life / interactions and spirals. Get caught in it long enough and it will change you.
I’m in my late 30s and still working on my self esteem. Due to family and friends always telling what I can’t do. Those statements put fear in me with full gifts to give in the inside. I feel like I want explode now. Because it’s so much I want to do and try ..I am still working on myself and it’s still hard when you feel like you’re not aligned at all. Change is hard but for the better.
i see what you saying….asa loneier with good parent support but bullied and not fit in does something…as you bout love hate start setting in…look at some school shootings…some them had good parent support but we hear bulling….sit alone at the cafe. walk alone pass groups. being a loneier seem only choose
Use timestamps. There is way too much waffle in many of your articles, which comes across as padding for the purpose of making more money. There is also the advice about someone who may indeed be arrogant, confrontational and argumentative, but it’s framed as though that’s something to congratulate yourself for. It isn’t. Much of the advice given here is ersatz and frankly useless and won’t make any substantive difference at all for those living with low self esteem.
There is no self-esteem needed to be increased, in my life. Though worthless and of no value to anybody, it does not get in my way. I am still functioning well above the established perimeters of a viable human. There is no time wasted seeking friendships nor amorous relationships. There is a certainty there would be no value to any sort of amicable, or amorous, relationship involving myself. That realisation allows for the maximum amount of time to be utilised for far more important and useful things than for seeking a worthless social existence that truly serves no purpose anyway. Amicable and amorous relationships always result in time wasted, emotional pain, lost resources, and the loss of much of one’s individuality.
I don’t get it. My parents thought the sun shone out of my arse but I still hate myself and assume other people don’t like me either and that I’m not good enough. I got good grades at school, I got praise from my parents and family, I had friends growing up, and I’ve only really felt this way since my mid twenties. I just don’t understand 😔
i am a med student in africa with ocd …….. ur articles helped me a lot of times when i don’t have access with professional help AND among other articles on youtube and other websites u make it accurate professional and nourished with information that if I as a med student won’t be easy at ALL to find it …….from deep down of my hart thank you ….. and i wish u all the good 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I fell in love with someone who had very low self esteem…I propped him up, told him what he wasn’t seeing…he ended up taking courage, and high self esteem and using it to hurt me. All my life I’ve dated Big Egos but I always wanted a shy guy. I was looking for deep and meaningful. Never again. From my experience, the lower the self esteem a guy has, the more potential to viciously hurt me. Crazy, now I’m left with a heart in shreds because someone hates me and just wanted to make me hate myself like they used to hate them self. All why he’s running around loving himself “I’m so awesome with my dick and money”.
This is why blaming parents is important. Yes we’re adults now and blaming parents is “bad” but fuck it. My parents are to blame for why I have low self esteem and am in my 30’s and single and why I have had poor friendships my whole life. My psychiatrist cannot help me feel good about myself. If they cared they would beg me to stay
I have a problem with “not fitting with your peers, specially in the teen years”, i mean basically MY ENTIRE TEEN YEARS I WAS ISOLATED FROM PEOPLE OF MY AGE (i didn’t even go to high school), now i’m a young adult….i have problems relating and fitting with people of my age mostly cuz i feel like i’m still trap in my teenage years!!!, i mean is like i haven’t developed properly due to the isolation, i’m also childish and ignorant about social relationships and clues…. i’m noticing that adults don’t like that.
Thank you so much. I just had a new friend gaslighting me about an opinion i had and I am so grateful to have come to a point in my life to spot this but I still have doubts in myself and did not initially listen to my intuition which I feel bad for ignoring. Thank you for this article! Helped a lot especially the end!
Very eloquently and well presented information. Of course a therapy can go much deeper than this because a therapy is all about your individual case, but this helps a lot in general and helps introspecting (until we avoid those parts that we keep hidden from ourselves and can’t go deeper without help)
interesting how others aparantly deal with self esteem issues through a multi front war? I mean me as soon as others started bashing my appearence i stopped caring how i look, i’m ugly so what thats your problem- I don’t have to look at me. now my art that depresses me I’ve spent over 20 years I feel on the verge of turning a corner but i’m depressed with it i’ve animated, done digital it never seems to really fill a hole or desire I always feel like a gigantic joke ever but I still do it why? because in all actuality I know that I have the potential, so as critical as I am to myself that part of me is that way because it knows-
My mother and kids in school gave me low self esteem. As I grew older, I attracted friends and lovers with low self esteem that hurt me more. Now I’m middle age and feel good enough about myself to forgive my mother and those so called friends. I’M effective with the few people that are in my life. I set boundaries and enjoy myself with less judgement.
In peace and love do I greet the author and readers. In peace and love in my Lord Jesus the Christ name. A person with high self esteem is dangerous and evil. Die to yourself daily and live for Christ. Everyone of us is horrible wretched and damned without a life centered in Christ did Jesus the Christ say to believe in “yourself”? You mean die daily to self and live in Christ, right? We are nothing and can do nothing with out the author and finisher. Bless God for the reader may he keep us in all his ways. Amen
Honestly, this article made me tear up a bit lol I’ve been really struggling with self-esteem and it has been something I identified as an issue for myself through journalling but knowing is entirely different from fixing and I felt like I was going around in circles. Just identifying a problem thought, relating it to self-esteem issues, and then… well, how can I even change this??? But being pointed out that safety behaviours exist and that I’m potentially avoiding social interactions, avoiding getting close with people and speaking my opinion and setting boundaries all because I don’t value myself enough in my own head was a massive wake up call for me. Finally accepting that these behaviours are valid and are as a result of my self-esteem, and recognising them as such, means I can really start to challenge myself and stand up for myself. I treated myself so badly my whole life because I just felt unlovable and not good enough and I deprived myself of things I enjoy and meeting and engaging with new friends all because I didn’t feel like I could handle the rejection of not being good enough at something straight away or people not being interested in connecting. It’s easy to get stuck in your head and reject the bigger picture when all you know is how to not like yourself.
Wow, I just impulsively broke up with a great person I really liked because it was so good, I didn’t think I deserved it. I felt like Roberta Flack when you said that you will stay in a bad relationship for 2 years. I did, that was me previously. Now, I messed up something good all because of my low self-esteem. I know I need to heal this part of me, or I will be the definition of crazy… Thank you so incredibly much for your incite, I wasn’t searching, just saw you on my feed by accident… or maybe no accident at all 🫶
Self esteem and self worth aren’t connected to super hero powers( delusions of illusions); or things(material); or looks, shapes and sizes. Self esteem and self worth: are your values: that are aligned with God. Accomplishments and beauty are worldly possessions: the minute or second those things fade away, so does the image of a person in the eyes of peoples: that qualify your entire existence, based on what they summed up in their heads: who and what you are. Worth doesn’t have a value or cost: so, if you say or believe you are worth this much money: a person has devalued themselves. The 2 go hand and hand: self esteem and self worth. We can’t have one without the other. The good thing: we could have never had either as a child, growing teenaged, or early adult: because, whatever we have been thru in life, even as a child: an adult handled the situation. But, when we become adults: we began to notice our true reality: in which, is different from what was told to us, because: we are living in a different era, time, or place than our parents. After 30 and so forth: self esteem starts to rise and self worth: starts to follow. We no longer need approval of others, advice as to how, to live our lives, or mentioning of our character as to what we are or do in life. We began, to look back at childhood, growing up as a teenager, and the adulting that took place in our 20s. We start to realize, how strong, smart, stupid, foolish, wise, and crazy we were to think……ect. That’s when you stand as a firm adult and never look back, only to see how far and how much we have discovered and learned about the self that lives within the living being.
I didn’t even know self esteem, self love, confidence was a thing when I was a kid. But I remember being 7 and picturing myself as an adult. I wasn’t proud of the image I came up with. I didn’t think I’d be cool, or beautiful, or capable of achievements. At 25, I’m nowhere near what I envisioned. I do think I’m pretty cool, I feel beautiful and I know I’m capable of reaching my goals. Yet I still struggle with feeling good enough.
My low self esteem seemed to go hand in hand with my social anxiety. Now I may be over my social anxiety, but it is hard to stay positive when you still have a bubble of isolation around you. Maybe my self esteem never reached really high, but I can sense the “why bother so much” feelings creeping back. It feels like I’m projecting other people’s imagined emotions onto myself, since I don’t really know how others see me. Ok it felt good to write that.
This is very relatable, my self esteem isn’t the best and I am trying my best, only got all my stuff taken away for have a singular B so I’m working it on it, I just know my lazyness is what caused my bad grade, in my art class I work above and beyond even if I feel I can’t do it, it looks good but compared to some of my classmates it is bad, but on the inside I seek affirmation that I did good to make myself feel good
Lack of ambition is definitely me. For the second time around, my supervisor has asked me to apply/interview for a management position in my company, but I’m terrified because I’ve never supervised people before and I’m scared shitless of failing, not living up to the expectations of the job and subsequently being fired. She knows I’ve outgrown my current position and wants to prepare me for leadership and I have no idea how to handle that type of responsibility.
I was praised too much by my mother for anything and everything I did. I then moved in with my dad and that side of the family literally equates success with money. Since I was very weird and only wanted to talk about fantasy books and science. They treated me like I was retarded, when I finally went into school I felt like an alien. I now have low self esteem and always feel everyone is B.Sing when they give me praise
I use to listen to my friend and her so called flirting stage guys conversation, it really made me cringe to a point that I feel disgusted about the whole this but after some months it really started to bother me, I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s not me it’s my friend, it did not happen to me it happened to her, there were times I had so many nightmares about all the situations, and after someday I noticed that I couldn’t tell the difference between dreams and reality because of so many situations happend where i was reminded it was dream and it did not happen to me at all, I just don’t know who I am anymore, it also caused me trama because I just think all that thing with my friend happened to me and I started getting traumatized by it with so many nightmares, with so many small details bringing everything making me feel like i was her, i made those bad decisions,but how do I remind myself and convince myself that it’s not me it’s my friend whom it happend to, I just really can’t say that difference anymore. Can you make a article about what is this
i believe i have a very high resilience and a very good intuition which helps me to intuitively act the most helpful ways for myself. Just recently i’ve experienced intrusive memories during an initial setting with a psychologist and it obviously wasnt a good for me, as this doesnt happen that often generally spoken. Yeah, but i just needed like 2 days to get back to normal. And i still think thats kinda impressive compared to the months of struggling those memories were pointing to. Same with the key situations of those memories. During the initial experinces, i felt like i found my system to deal with them in like 2 weeks. And afterwards i only needed like 1 year to get back to normal. The topic is about starvation, psychosis and major depression btw. Like i said, i feel very resilient.
I need Dr Tracey to explain my peculiar case. I check all the boxes for low self esteem but contrary to the reasons you mentioned, mine was the opposite. Realistically, I should possess the opposite effect. I was the last child and my parents and siblings fussed over me a lot and gave me a good number of attention.
Fit in people get a bunch of jabs💉💉💉💉+wear a mask😷enroll your children into government indoctrination facilities. Obey the government without question. Rat out your neighbors if they don’t comply with the coming climate change lockdowns and 15min cities. Now you are a good debt slave and we all 💝U obey💉😷〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️🛩〰️〰️〰️〰️🛩〰️🛩
My teen years were spent homeschooling online mostly because I developed a chronic illness. As a young adult, I feel very confused in general about what I am doing. I am still sick and will continue to be. It can be quite debilitating but it isn’t degenerative or terminal. I can’t help but feel worthless because one of my core values is productivity and I haven’t figured out how to succeed in school or career. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make my own money or if it will be enough, I feel like I have to exchange more pain for a tiny amount of money that isn’t even enough to pay for groceries. College is doable but i also have to exchange pain and energy to do it, and I am moving at a snails pace. I have no reason to be confident in myself right now. I have dwindling hope for the future. I just think it’s justified to feel insecure right now, and until I figure out for sure what I am or am not capable of I won’t be able to give up on it and grieve the loss.
I do things and try to not let my negative talk stop me from doing things i want to do but the thoughts never really go away. They keep coming back and i have to push them aside. How do I make them stop? They lead to me questioning and doubting myself and there’s a lot of negativity there that i don’t like. I think I’m in a healing phase, any insight into how to make the road a bit easier would be amazing
I hate catching up with my memories because I realize life freaked me in almost every single way possible – demanding/neglectful parents – school bullying for being/acting different – history with SA in multiple occasions – stalked at late teens – went to college to please parents, it didn’t do crap for my career and just kept me from even thinking of savings – stalked at part time job – my last/former boss was a narcissist (it was so bad I’d someyimes start shaking when I heard his footsteps) – got fired after applying for Healthcare (had to cancel before I got to use it) – financially abused by relatives – social distancing began, I barely could keep up with the few acquaintances I had and instead was stuck with fam who despise the fact I’m unemployed, weird and miserable – my pets, who were my only source of unconditional affection growing up, developed cancer and died all last year I’m at my lowest, honestly. I want to get a job and fight for my independence, but I can barely get myself out of bed, or shower, or cook. I haven’t done my laundry even once this year. I can’t tell if my issue is self-esteem or if I just got beat up so much that it’s like the stuffing from a punching bag just started leaking and I can’t see things getting better. It can always get worse, I could always get kicked out or go through all the same crap again, too. Sometimes I think I’d rather unalive than go through everything again haha, aaanyways.
I think it’s interesting to think about how much self esteem we start life with. We start life with no self esteem, not zero but literally an absence of self evaluation as that wuuld require more self awareness. But the very first time we become aware of our existence (in relation to the environment) and evaluate ourselves, I wonder how that goes…I suppose that could be when we realise we’re not omnipotent, which probably isn’t exactly pleasant.
i remember thinking so many times that even my parents didn’t praise or support me for the things i do, it was enough that they didn’t tell me anything about it. i was and still sometimes i am scared that if i do something that i want to do about myself, they’ll lash out on me but i try to break this situation because this is the life i will live and if i don’t do the thing, i will regret it for the remaining years. i regret so many things. i lately tried to change a thing about me that i didn’t for years because i was scared, and i never felt more free. they of course reacted too much, still do from time to time but once i did it, i try to not care about what they tell me anymore. it sometimes still hurts but i earned what i wanted and it doesn’t matter what they tell anymore
What if you feel insecure about a disability. I wanna do things like learn an instrument, but my cerebral palsy, slightly makes me feel (just a little) insecure. Not depressive, but it does negatively affect me. At the same time, I don’t wanna feel pressured into say learning an instrument either. How do I deal with this? Drums intrigue me, and wanna learn how to play them, but how do I stop these negative “I can’t do this because of my disability” emotions/thoughts? I should clarify that I’m not severely disabled, but my right foot is turned out, and my right side, particularly my right hand, is generally weaker and I have little control over my right hand apart from being able to move it up and down, but uncurling my fingers is difficult. Please do a article on this question, I’d like to know how to deal with these negative emotions that at times consume me. Thank you.
Dr.Marks, I absolutely love your articles! Can you do one speaking on Misophonia? I have struggled with this my entire life. It’s difficult for me to watch YouTubers (not you) at times who smack their lips while talking or if my friends or family do it. I can’t be around people who eat even when I can tell they are trying their best to accommodate me. It doesn’t matter who or why, the sound drives me crazy and sends me into distress. I’ve tried to beat it several times, but I’ve seen there is no treatment for it as of now. But it would be so awesome if you could do a article on this so others who deal with the disorder can understand it better and raise some awareness on the topic. ❤️❤️❤️
WOOOOWW!! You just described my WHOLE life Dr Tracey. 😮 I have a great loving family but my relationships with people has never been good. I married my first love and it was bad. After 10 yrs (4 of those married and abused) I finally left. I do feel bad that I don’t have any childhood friends/besties. But I’ve always been socially awkward. Great article Dr. Tracey 👏🏾❤️
can you make a article about TRT for treating depression and anxiety for guys with normal TRT levels. I have been on multiple SSRI,SNRI, NDRIs for years with minimal improvement. Testosterone has made me finally function like a normal person for the last 5 months. I am off my antidepressants and never felt better.
I grew up in an emotionally supportive family but always considered myself a major screw-up who just didn’t seem to be able to cope with regular, everyday life. I’m in my 60s now and have realized I have inattentive ADHD. I understand my emotional and behavioral responses now, and it’s made all the difference. I didn’t need enemies; I did an excellent job of putting myself down at the slightest provocation. I still get frustrated with having to adapt to a world that isn’t designed for neuroatypical people, but I’ve become my biggest cheerleader and life is so much better for it.
lately my self-esteem has been tanking because of issues with my university peers, to who everyday I’m more scared to call friends, to the point of considering dropping out and going back to my home state. but here is where my dream career is at, and tunnel vision is so difficult to get through, but I’ll get through this. I know that in a year, even in summer, even if I don’t have friends anymore, I will get through this and achieve my dreams and hopes.
I definitely needed to hear this one this week. Recently just been feeling like a burden because it feels like everything I do isn’t up to everyone’s standards. I have trouble expressing myself to others, my life has never been my own. I feel like if I honestly try to be 100% myself, people would deny who I am and I would not be able to have the opportunities I have today. I really want to start to live the life I want to live, but I get too scared. I don’t even know what I like or dislike. My self-esteem is in shambles since I don’t even know who I am or where t start on my journey. I just do what others tell me to do and I’m tired and frustrated with myself.
My therapist has been working with me for months, but it’s often still hard to accept how long it’s taking to drag my self esteem out of the toilet, washing it off, patting it dry… vs “just getting over it already.” I was bullied from the time I started school until basically I graduated high school (although K-8 were the most…intense. Even with former classmates telling me “we went though hell, especially you” now that we’re all out of there.) And well. College was damn isolating and my anxiety and depression just. Things tanked. Then on top of Clearly Neurodivergant + anxiety/depression/trauma symptoms… I developed an auto immune disease from a 1% Population genetic quirk that robbed me from being able to even keep a shitty minwage job, and my hobbies without pain and fatigue, and forced me to unenroll more difinitively than my anxiety and now-diagnosed adhd did. It’s…really hard to not feel like shit. Which, yeah having online friends who put up with me (and I can support back) + finally having a good therapist (and medicaid to actually be able to stick with therapy + learning how to shop around vs Stuck With Apparently Poor Fit Now BAD Therapy) to affirm me, and now actual diagnoses for vindication definitely helps. It gives me a platform and some bricks and mortar to…actually even BUILD a wall at all. But. Socially? I still don’t trust people like ME vs Just My Singing or Just If I Act Shy & Helpful and why would I? I hear how some of them talk. They have No Idea I fall into those groups, not Just silently disagreeing with them and trying to keep my lid on.
i really love your content. when i was young i was singled out and bullied a lot for my dark skin, and african name (with no culture from my absent father). my mother always negated my experiences because she was bullied and received the least amount of nurturing out of 5 children. my self esteem is really affecting my young adulthood. ultimately i just want to say your articles have influenced me to seek professional help for all of the pain i have suffered. even in young adulthood. thank u tracey ❤
HELLO DR TRACEY, PLS ANSWER I commented this on your social anxiety vs shyness article but you didn´t see it so I´ll comment it here if you don´t mind (: “My social anxiety is different than most people. My anxiety has to do with fearing people misunderstanding my intentions or not seeing the whole picture and then having a falsified impression on me or thinking that I´m a bad person, which is untrue. Let´s say someone has done many unecceptable things to me and that, now, I´ve decided that the next time they´ll do smth bad to me, I´ll stand up for myself. And so I do. But then on the spot, everyone starts giving me looks (or at least that´s how it looks like to me..). All they see is me talking with an angry voice intonation. They don´t see how much the person I´m talking to has repeatedly done me wrong and how albeit the person may try to act innocent in front of everyone, he/she isn´t. Now this is an extreme case, but in reality this “I´m afraid ppl may misunderstand my intentions or thinkíng that I´m on the wrong side” every single time I want to talk. It´s too much. Does this have a name in psychology? Please answer.”
Pretty sure I’m one of the poster child’s for low self esteem- was undiagnosed autistic in school and was deemed a bad kid by the school early, and forever struggled with peers. I guess at least my inability to get in a relationship at least keeps me out of a toxic one XD I’ve said “I hate you” to myself in the mirror too many times I’m sure, and yet desperately try to see the good in everyone else.it’s exhausting.
Thank you Dr Tracey 🤱 for sharing these tools with us it is a true blessing that you are willing to help the world with these articles. It is a true joy. Thank you for your patience, your courage, your confidence, and your boldness, Thank you for taking the time to help us. Because we know that you don’t have to do it. Keep walking in the strength of God. 🏠🤱