New research indicates that one in three parents spanked their children in 2017 compared to 50 in 1993. A 2015 Pew survey found that 45% of parents in the United States have spanked, with rates lower for girls and Northeasterners. The spanking of toddlers (2 to 4 years old) decreased from 60 to 39%. Most study participants were white and married or engaged, with Black, Hispanic, and Asian parents accounting for the majority.
Millennials and Gen X parents appear to be spanking their kids less than previous generations, according to a research letter published in the medical journal JAMA Pediatrics. Nearly two-thirds of mothers reported spanking their children at least once in the two-week period. Support for spanking has declined slightly from a high of 54 in 2015 to this year’s 47 who either somewhat or strongly agree with the practice.
A 2013 Harris Poll of 2,286 adults surveyed online found 67% of parents said they had spanked their children and 33% had not. In 1995, four in five Americans believed parents spanking their children is sometimes appropriate. By 2017, the proportion of parents who spanked their children had declined from 50 in 1993 to 35 in 2017.
Spanking decreased in a subset of parents with a child aged 2 to 4 years from 60% to 39%. George Holden, a professor of psychology at Southern Methodist University, states that 80 percent of children have been spanked. The overall prevalence rate (the percentage of parents using any of these types of corporal punishment during the previous year) was 35 for infants and reached a peak of 94%.
📹 We now know what spanking kids does to their brains
If you wish to understand your brain, take control and empower your life… and need some insights and tools: YOU are the reason …
Is hitting your child a sin?
The New Testament does not contain any verses endorsing spanking, but many discourage hitting a child for any reason. Adrian Peterson, a Minnesota Vikings star, was indicted on child abuse charges after hitting his four-year-old son with a “switch”, causing welts on his legs, scrotum, and buttocks. In response, Peterson invoked the Almighty, tweeting a picture from a religious devotional, Jesus Calling, with a quote about the perils of “habitual judging”. Eighty percent of born-again Christians believe that spanking is acceptable, which is 15% higher than the general population.
How common is hitting your child?
Around six in 10 children aged 2-14 years worldwide experience physical punishment by a caregiver. Physical punishment involves using force to cause pain or discomfort to correct or punish behavior, often involving smacking, spanking, slapping, or hitting with a hard object. It can also involve forcing a child to kneel, sit, or stand in uncomfortable positions or on painful objects. In Australia, the use and effects of physical punishment are incomplete, with surveys showing 50-80% of parents using it in disciplining their children. Australian parents are often uncertain about what is reasonable and acceptable in physical punishment and where the line is for abuse.
Is it haram to hit your child?
Physical punishments are harmful to children’s upbringing and should be avoided. However, if physical punishment is not possible, it can be used as a last resort. Islam allows this in certain conditions. For example, children should start offering prayers at six years old, and if they don’t listen, they may be beaten to become regular. At nine years old, they should learn to do the Wudhu (ablution) before praying, and if they don’t obey, they may be beaten and made to offer prayers.
What percentage of world spanks have their child?
A 2019 study published in Child Abuse and Neglect examined the impact of spanking practices on child well-being in 62 countries, involving over 215, 000 children. The study found that in 95 of the countries, the socio-emotional impacts among 3- and 4-year-olds were negative, and in 5 countries, no effect was found. The study also found no association between spanking and higher socio-emotional development.
Experts argue that families may not achieve the desired results when spanking, and that experiencing corporal punishment increases the likelihood of children becoming defiant and aggressive in the future. The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes spanking in its guidelines to pediatricians.
Are spanked children more aggressive?
A study involving 5000 children in 20 US cities between 1998 and 2000 found a link between toddler spanking and aggressive behavior. The study found that children who were spanked more than twice a month at age 3 were more aggressive at age 5, and those who were spanked at age 5 showed more negative behaviors and lower vocabulary skills at age 9. Survey data suggests that support for spanking is on the decline in the US, possibly due to increased understanding of the risks of spanking, including higher risks of aggressive behavior, altercations with parents, and problems with cognition and mental health.
What parenting style spanks?
Many parents use authoritarian discipline, which involves setting strict rules for their children’s behavior and punishing them with harsh punishments when they misbehave. This discipline is believed to teach children how to behave, but it can also lead to children who are more likely to misbehave. This is because spanking is thought to promote antisocial behavior rather than inhibit it. Another style of discipline is lax or permissive, where parents set few rules for their children’s behavior and don’t discipline them when they misbehave.
These children are also more likely to misbehave than those raised by authoritative parents. Therefore, it is crucial for parents to consider the impact of their parenting style on their children’s behavior and behavior.
Who is most likely to spank their child?
The study reveals that spanking rates increase with child age from 1 to 3, with 24 children spanked by their mother at age 1, and 55. 2 by age 3. The rate of spanking is influenced by cumulative risk score categories and race/ethnicity at age 1 and age 3. The findings suggest that examining the predictors of spanking at age 3 in a multivariate approach could help understand whether these differences represent cultural differences in child-rearing practices or if these socially-constructed racial groupings are simply serving as a proxy for unmeasured socioeconomic markers in our stratified society.
The significant interaction between risk and race/ethnicity would suggest that these socially-constructed racial groupings may serve as a proxy for unmeasured socioeconomic markers in our stratified society.
How common is smacking children?
A new research briefing by UCL researchers reveals that over one in five 10-year-olds in the UK experienced physical punishment in 2020 and 2021. Physical punishment, including smacking and hitting, is the most common form of violence against children. Scotland and Wales recently prohibited physical punishment in all settings, while England and Northern Ireland still allow it in the home. The study, funded by the Nuffield Foundation and supported by the NSPCC and Barnardo’s, found that despite a decline in parents’ use of physical punishment over the last decade, it remains prevalent in the UK.
Should a 12 year old be spanked?
The author posits that the majority of corporal punishment should be administered before the first grade (approximately six years of age), gradually diminish thereafter, and cease altogether when the child reaches the age of ten to twelve. This is due to the fact that children exhibit a range of emotional and developmental characteristics throughout their childhood years.
Is hitting a child trauma?
The act of striking children, even for disciplinary purposes, is regarded as a form of traumatic experience. Some adults posit that a single slap on the head or bottom is not as severe as it may appear to be and that it serves a pedagogical purpose.
What percentage of parents spank their child?
The results of the survey indicate that the majority of children in the United States were not subjected to corporal punishment in the past year. The prevalence of spanking was 49 instances per 1, 000 children aged 0-9, 23 instances per 1, 000 children aged 10-17, and 37 instances overall. The only age group where spanking occurred in more than half of the cases was children aged 2-7.
📹 Comparison: Painful Parent Punishments
In this comparison video, we will show you different PUNISHMENTS used by some PARENTS. Did you know that soap was used …
The one question that a lot of parents who are “good parents who spank for discipline” don’t want to answer me is, why is hitting your wife/ husband considered wrong and illegal and can get the cops called on you but hitting a person who is smaller than you and literally non threatening totally okay and even encouraged ?????? They never have an answer for that
My dad beat me with a leather belt and made me take my clothes off and my mother smack me in the face with a fly swatter all the time. I use to hit myself to build up a tolerance to wouldn’t hurt. The school called my mom want I g to know how I got all my bruises and heard telling my dad he can’t leave bruises anymore school was even questioning what was going on. I never felt save until my dad died and now he never hurt me again.
I can’t think of a time in my childhood when spanking or hitting me corrected my “bad” behavior. Most of the time my parents would simply hit me out of frustration, out of their own inability to control their actions or curb their anger, which then taught me and my sister that violence was a totally fine way to get people to listen to you. I grew out of that mindset before my sister. I worry for her future children.
I got spanked as a kid. It legitimized violence throughout my childhood. I was a violent out of control kids and my parents couldn’t figure out why this kid they were spanking was hitting them. My parents took me to a pschiatrist where I was drugged and blamed and that just made me more violent. I didn’t trust my mom or my dad. I definitely didn’t trust the doctors who took my every word and twisted it into a justification drug me even more. Eventually I started bullying my parents into letting me not take my pills. My dad was more authoritarian than my mom was but my mom also broke my finger trying to spank me over spilled milk and I was 7-8 at the time. My parents could never piece together that all the violence I was showing towards them was a reflection of the violence they showed me. After I moved out of my parents house I came off all the psychdrugs and realized how traumatized I was from 25 years of being around my parents and not being able to stand either one of them. I love my parents like all children. But I can’t stand them. Spanking teaches violence, damages your kids brain, degrades the relationship between parent and child and so on. Would you trust someone who instilled that kind of terror in you?
I can make up so many disciplines without physical contact. 1. Push-ups 2. Writing their names 10 times 3. Sit ups 4. Add extra chores to their list 5. 1 minute planks 6. If ya want you can spend money on your kid and give them karate lessons, they teach their kids self confidence and discipline. 7. Take away their phones 8. Make them read books of their current level. 9. 2 laps around the house. 10. Give them extra vegetables and fruits for dinner and no junk food for a month. Give them discipline that will actually improve their lives and life style, make them buff and healthy and teach them good morals, so many options and good example to make your kids good adults for society.
It certainly hurts kids more. They depend on parents for everything. They trust their parents to not hurt them, but that trust is broken. That feeling of safety is gone entirely. From then on they know that you can and will hurt them if they don’t act right, and its even worse if the rules broken weren’t spoken out loud.
When I was younger I wouldn’t take out the trash because of this spider, my dad yelled at me and I refused because I was afraid of the spider and I ran and hid under my bed, my dad stomped up the stairs and barged into my room. He was shouting something at me and I was curled up underneath the bed, my dad proceeded to throw my full spring mattress across the room and started ripping off the support boards one by one, each one held in with four, six inch screws. He then grabbed me and I tried to crawl away and he pinned me down and spanked me like 50 times while my mom stood over me saying I should have listened. NOW I smoke weed 24/7 and have a hard time socializing and connecting with People.
All of these people saying that spanking your kid prevents them from committing crime despite the research saying that it actually increases aggression in the future. Spanking a child is like licking a wound expecting it to be better. It benefits in the short term but can have long term lasting consequences. There are much better ways to handle your child. I absolutely hate people that endorse this and say it’s not child abuse. These people prefer the old methods of doing things and choose to ignore the scientific evidence.
Many people think that spanking kids is a solution because the kids get scared and begin avoiding their parents, which gives them the illusion that their kids started behaving. In reality, those same kids become more violent and aggressive, they just do it behind closed doors due to fear of getting spanked.
I’ve this memory imprinted for ever in my brain. I don’t remember exaclty what I did, but it was enough to get my mother to hit me until I was on the ground. It wasn’t enough, she kept going. It happened in front of my father’s study. I remember the yelling and the “spanks” like it just happened. The thing that I alwasy think about whenever that situation comes back to my mind is seeing my father in the study perusal the scene every now and then. I asked him for help and he didn’t even move, nor respond to me crying and yelling for the pain. I felt betrayed. The only person who could save me from that situation just watched me getting hit a couple times with disdain. I was hit multiple times but that one time I’ll never forget. Nowadays whenever I try to talk to them about being hit they act like it never happened. I have severe anxiety, low self esteem, insomnia and a bunch of other problems that affect my relationships so much that I decided I won’t have any until I am economically independent and I’ll be able to afford a therapist.
I am writing this as a kid right now. I don’t get whooped. Or correction, technically I do, but as a last resort option. If I act an ass at school, I would probably expect to get grounded, not hit. My parents rarely put their hands on me. The last time it happened, I was 6. If you were to ask anyone, from home or outside, they’d tell you I behave amazingly. I get straight A’s, I’m quiet, and I can’t remember the last time I was in trouble. Meanwhile, most of the kids at my school are getting written up all the time, and going home and getting their little asses beat, and still not behaving. It’s really not effective. At all. I don’t know why we’re still trying to cling onto beating the shit out of our kids, but it’s honestly kinda creepy.
Thank you for mentioning how it escalates. My father delivered my first heavy spanking when I was barely four years old, then later at around six years old, a heavier spanking, and completely unjust. I wept so deeply, I thought my chest would burst. Then around seven, he rushed into the room to slap my face because I used a curse word. (he constantly swore like a sailor himself). Then at around eight years old, again he rushed into the room when he heard me say a bad word. This time he dragged me by the collar, to the bathroom and shoved a bar of soap in my mouth. I was choking and thought I couldn’t breathe. At around 13 years old I had a squabble with my siblings, he rushed into the room and began beating me with absolute rage. He left large bruises. At that point, I was convinced he hated me and wanted me dead. I am in my 60’s now, and still believe he hated me. I also have large varicose veins on my upper leg where those bruises were. My mother was a spineless passive picture on the wall, never defending me. Yet she had a rule that he dare not ever lay a hand on her. I have been to countless therapists to no avail. The memories still get triggered, and cause me to suffer.
Today, I managed to discuss my trauma in my psychologist session. First time mentioning it after being in therapy all my life. But my father did the whole wooden spoon thing when I was about 4 or 5 years old. And it was brutal. I was bruised and my mother made him stop. Never happened again. I’m 31 years old now. I’ve really struggled with self compassion, anxiety and depression. But never understood why. My psychologist knew I had a trauma there but it took me a while to realise what it was. It was the frightened 4 year old all along, who associated being hit because I’m ‘bad’ So I’ve avoided making mistakes or making people angry all my life at great cost, out of fear. Need to build (Not rebuild) self compassion from the ground up. I’m not a parent, but I just want to say I think physical punishment really messed me up. Please don’t hit your kids.
Children don’t even know why they are getting hit in the first place. Specially at a toddler stage. I don’t like seen my child in pain. It feels wrong because it is. By the way, I used to get hit a lot And at one point I was so mad from getting hit everyday that one day I swing back and I felt so guilty but now that I think about it she was over doing it.
I learned two things from being spanked: when we get mad, sometimes it’s ok to hit, which of course is ridiculous. The second thing I learned was, I will never (and have not) spank my child. It messed up my head, in all sorts of ways . I know he was doing his best as a father, he was a good man but I never told him that it really scared me, and scarred me and I hated him for it, and my mom let it happen so she’s culpable too. I’m not some cry baby who feels like I was traumatized by it all, but it definitely had a negative effect on me.
My parents beat me ever since I was 5 and this really affected me as I can’t even trust my self to tell them stuff.I honestly hate my mom more and more because the things she’s done to me which affected my mental health.If there were a child appreciation day it would’ve been a big change.Sometimes I don’t even feel like my mom loves me.She never asks me if I’m okay. All she cares about is school.
Spanking is all fun and games til the child your doing it to grows up and hates you. I can understand for certain circumstances you a spanking might be okay. But any little inconvenience and your ready to pop and hit a child as a grown adult? Its giving bully vibes. That’s not something easy to forgive. 💯 saying it from experience I would never as a grown adult be whooping or spanking any child.
I was not spanked by my parents, thankfully, but I was repeatedly spanked by a horrible teacher who genuinely believed in corporal punishments on me and my classmates at the time. I was in 3rd grade at the time of my experience, and let me tell you. I HATED it. I was repeatedly abused for my PTSD. It actually made me outright HATE this so-called teacher (and I still hate her too this day), but was afraid to speak out. She also did so much more than spanking me with her hands or a paddle. My twin sister, however, stood up for me multiple times and even fought to prevent her from spanking me or her. She was fed up with how she had been treating me and my classmates. She was eventually fired and banned from teaching after one of my friends exposed her. To this day, I still get VERY anxious whenever I meet new teachers, afraid that they might end up like that awful teacher. It only increased my hatred for school during my childhood, which has softened a bit, but is unfortunately still there, which is why I chose to only take classes part-time.
i have had a lifelong internal battle in regards to physical abuse. I am 30 yrs old and was raised by people who took me (through state means) from my biological family. The people who adopted me used lots of inventive ways to punish my sister and I. From hauling bricks up and down our drive way, balancing books on our heads while doing wall sits, and the classic ‘grab-whatever-is-closest’ and beat us with it. For a long time I thought stuff like this was acceptable and normal. It is not. By my teenage years, I had pretty much rebelled to the point where i would NOT be in the house and was in group homes and state custody. I never spoke to harshly or gathered evidence because I thought it was okay and they loved me. Now I wish they were in prison and had to face the same kind of abuse that my sister and I faced. Though that didn’t happen, I do take solace in the fact that both my adoptive mother and father are alone, as no one trust them or respects them. It seems people who abuse children have other issues too, usually.
When was I a kid, i guess at some point I could get passed the “whooping” without thinking much of it but there is two moments I remember distinctly. One is when I was 7, the 2 nights prior I got hit by a belt by my mom and the iron left a pretty big bruise (probably was my first time getting a bruise like that) I just wanted a little comfort so I told my mom it left a bruise and she said something like “serves you right” which just broke something in me. I remember going to another room and crying. I don’t think I went to her for comfort for years and years. Might be a Seemingly small thing but it just stayed with me
So alot of people in these comments just literally got abused lol. I was “spanked as a kid” never was violent or anything I realized and took accountability as a child and knew damn I was wrong, I got the bad grade or talked back and did things to deserve the spanking and it hindsight it worked. Because I wasn’t beaten I was disciplined. There is a obvious line between child abuse and discipline. To those saying why adult and not a child. An adult won’t be like a child mainly and the and the child will try to run and abuse you if left un checked even explained by this man. All in all don’t beat your children teach them. Soft era is in full effect because it seems like alot of real child abuse was done. Mind blowing but if your parents did it correctly it’s just simply tough love. Seeing it past anything but that’s clearly shows me you were abused if u cannot rationalize the effectiveness of this then you were probably abused but not certainly. Also don’t just shove it into a vacuum the people for my side don’t do that to you so don’t do that to our line of thinking. If you are a effective communicator and strong willed you can easily make this form of discipline work and your children not be traumatized. And at a certain age it clearly stop and if your child is repeatedly bad you don’t keep hitting them.dont be a barbarian and use your brain that means ur kids does have a behavior problem so you don’t just keep hitting them but yes showing them who’s the leader and who you follow is crucial.
I was spanked and honestly don’t see a problem with what happened to me. But from reading the comments it’s seem the experiences of others was drastically different, being that when they were spanked it was out of anger and frustration. For me that wasn’t the case, it would only happen after repeated disregard for rules and expectations clearly laid out and previous forms of discipline had no effect. When it would happen it was very clear it wasn’t something my father wanted to do, but felt was the right thing to raise me to be a respectable adult capable of appropriate behavior. The behavior was always addressed and the reasoning for it being wrong, and after getting a belt he would sit with me and explain why even further always telling me that he loved me and was doing this because he thought it was necessary and even crying himself sometimes. I’m not saying that it was the right thing to do, just that to me I never saw it as abuse and I know my parents while not perfect were doing what they thought was best for me to be raised well and understand there are consequences to actions. That being said I’m not using my experience as justification for spanking as punishment especially since from hearing the stories of other, my experience seems to be on the rarer side and I’ve had friends tell stories of beatings received that clearly cross over the line of discipline into abuse out of anger/frustration. But the idea that it’s outright abuse in all cases is something I reject from the experience I had.
An effective way to discipline your child when he or she is being very naughty is time out for children 5 and under, and groundings for children 6 and older. You don’t want your child to get used to losing their freedom for bad behavior but it’s a very useful tool to teach your child that he or she could go to jail, get kicked out of college or trade school, get fired from a job, or get banned from a commercial establishment such as a gym or a store for that type of behavior. Groundings are a very useful resource if done appropriately but overusing that repercussion on your child is considered child abuse. For minor misbehavior, using constructive criticism is a sufficient consequence for a child’s behavior. For things more moderate, just take your child straight home and not give them anything they want but do not need until another time, cancel the outing, or make your child go to his or her room until he or she calms down. For example, your child acts like the I want those sweeties kid, no time out or grounding, but take the child home with leave them with your spouse and go back to the store.
Its not love, period. If you hit your kids, you are not loving them, you are hurting them. Doesn’t matter what you think or feel. I suggest Alice Miller’s book “For your own good”. Its even more insidious because we tell them that we are doing it for their own good and out of love. Enough to damage a kid for life, to be told being slapped or spanked and told its because you love them. Its insanity at the highest level. And the main reason for violence in society. You are better off telling them you hate them, because when you are spanking or hitting your kid, it is a form of hate.
Shocking how many people think its ok to use violence against small children. Disgusting, actually. And for the idiots who downplay it as “just a swat”, to “set them straight” I sincerely hope you get a vasectomy or tubal litigation for the good of the rest of society. You have no idea how much force you are using on a tiny human with an underdeveloped brain and an underdeveloped nervous system.
Sad that so many people still share memes on social media promoting hitting kids and also insisting that kids are only naughty because they haven’t been hit. I’d like to know how they know these delinquent kids have not been hit as many still are behind closed doors. I was hit as a kid and have lived a life blighted by anxiety and sometimes depression and inability to really get properly close to anyone. I find solice in my dogs more. They didn’t hit me. Still, because I am not a criminal, people will say I turned out ok lol….I could have turned out a lot better.
This is so good 🙏 I want to believe that if loving parents understood what spanking/hitting does to the body and brain of their child, they would not do it. There is no safe spanking! All spanking/ hitting registers as a automatic threat for the child and the child’s body automatically goes into shock/trauma response which is most of the time shutting down or what we would like to call “compliance”. Because the child went into shock, the parent believed that it worked. But what really happened was the child experienced trauma and is now in survival mode which can show up in various forms of behaviour. The body and mind automatically remember repetitive behaviour, and will start to adapt to the environment. The child never learns how to self regulate, how to navigate attitudes and how to communicate properly. Remember that human need for survival is safety and connection. A child automatically/without though, feels un safe with and around those that have caused trauma. If a child didn’t feel safe and connected to parents they will find other connections and the need to medicate trauma (the sis regulation of emotions) through substance or other addictive behaviour. Children who are brought up in safe, calm environments where they were able to express and regulate emotions without being spanked, had a astronomical lower rate of developing addictions through their lives. As a addiction recovery coach I have yet to meet a adult who doesn’t have some sort of addiction, relational, emotional, mental, or physical issues from trauma that they experienced as a child.
I love how some people in the comments think their anecdotal evidence somehow invalidates peer reviewed research with large sizes by academically trained researchers. If you want to argue the studies are invalid for a reason go ahead and state your case. But it’s not logically to say your personal opinions and experiences alone invalidate actual research.
i am a 15 yo girl. my dad sometimes beats me. i feel really hurt when this happens. he doesn’t spank me. he usually hits my head and pulls my hair. idk what to do, i’ve told him, it’s not correct to do, but anytime it happens, he tells me i deserve it, today he told me if he could go back in time, he would beat me more, cause then i would have turned out to be a better kid…. no matter what i tell him, he thiks he’s always right. what he told me today is : “you provoke it. you povoke men around you. that’s why you’ll have an abusive relationship in the future, cause you provoke this.” i don’t know what to do anymore. it really affects my mental health, but my dad never ever listens to me. i tried to talk to him. also so sorry for the grammar mistakes, english is not my first langauge.
Spanking worked on me when I was a young child because I understood the reason for it. As a 11 or 12 year old my father flew into a rahe over something I thought was totally unjust. Also kicked me out of house at 15 for completely unjust reasons. Those times I never forgave him. But when I stole at the age of 6 I very much respected it. Controlled and just.
I have been hit once or twice only for telling my nan the health risks with drinking redbull, smoking cigarettes, not drinking enough water and only eating sandwiches because it hurt her feelings to be told that those habits were detrimental to her health she started crying so mu mum who was sitting in the back of the car full force whacked me across the head it didn’t make me want to stop talking about the health risks and all that happened it i got a headache and wanted to act out violently in retaliation
I remember my mom hit me with a belt buckle when I was four because she thought I was faking being sick until I threw up. I also remember her laughing at me when I would try to stop her from spanking me. She always thought that was funny. The best was when she’d grab one of her long thin wooden spaghetti sauce spoons and break it over my behind. She broke a couple that way. It’s been a long time since we spoke. Such fond, loving, memories.
My dad spanked me with a belt for any little thing I did. As time went on the spankings increased. now I have become rebellious at a very young age. At 15 I stood up to him and told him he would never hit me again.Iwas wondering why I had such low esteem and no self-confidence. All this time I thought it was my fault.
I’m writing this as a kid my dad suffers from severe depression and ptsd from being a firefighter for 13 years and we were on a cruise and he got mad and I tried to stand up for myself and he dragged me to the room and he spanked me like 3 times last one kinda hard did not hurt so bad but then he got MAD and he hit my leg and gave me my biggest bruise and hit my face was this ok plz tell me and I was only 9 when this happened and I had to act normal it hurts but he apologized and got over it
That immediate result I know firsthand. My parents weren’t big on spanking, but I went to a school that used it (a Christian one who believed in it fully due to that stupid verse of using the “rod of correction” which they took as beating us with a paddle). Everything at home changed after my second-grade teacher told my parents how my behavior changed right after I got paddled- uh, yeah, because my butt was in intense pain, I’ll do whatever you ask of me after that! She told them where to get a freaking paddle, and to use it on me! So, on her advice they did, so I then started getting paddled at home too! My poor butt felt like it was just a beating bag. It gets worse too. Thanks to that school being so paddle happy the kids there ended up figuring out how to get other kids paddled (swats) even when they didn’t deserve it. In 4th grade, I watched a girl steal from our teacher. She concocted such a story of me doing it (straight out lying that she had seen me do it) that I ended up being the one not only punished, but severely punished (3 swats). It’s nuts how things happen in life…
For those saying “I was spanked and I turned out fine,” you can have mental illness without knowing it so simply saying you turned out fine just tells me that that’s your belief. Often the communities that support spanking also tend to stigmatize mental illness the most, so the fraction of people who support spanking and have mental illness, especially when considering high functioning mental illness, and that some may not recognize their mental illness as mental illness when most people around them have the same mental illness. Assuming you really did turn out fine that doesn’t mean everyone else who is spanked turned out fine. Studies done on spanking indicate that it’s associated with mental illness and changes in the brain structure, even after other socioeconomic factors are taken into account. Also spanking is associated with lower grades, and it’s been found that the spanking precedes the lowering of the grades indicating that spanking causes children to do worse in school.
It’s a form of reinforcement. The idea is that we all learned what a hot stove feels like, therefore we won’t willfully put our bodies on one. Whippings or other physical disciplines hijack that same function of learning. Its effectiveness varies because not all humans handle it the same. Some people turn out perfectly fine, some turn out bad, others like me are somewhere in between. There isn’t one method superior to disciplining kids because they’re all different, and if we figured it out, we definitely would’ve been doing it already. Also, there’s a difference between abuse and whippings lol. In the Black community, abuse is you basically beating your child to near death on multiple occasions. In the White communities (at least in America) Spanking your child with your hand is considered abuse. So, it’s honestly a pretty varied concept
I was always a bigger kid, who trained martial arts, since I was four. The only time I was ever spanked was when I was bullying other kids, and my parents exhausted all other options. I went to therapy, social groups, community service (cleaning, lunchroom tables) But nothing actually worked until my father spanked me. I got the message really quick that if I’m gonna pick people someone bigger is going to come and pick me. I’ve grown up and started teaching martial arts and I see a lot of those same kids in my classes now. I thoroughly believe that there are some children that will not learn unless they get something as severe as it
When I went to this one kindergarten, the teacher had a three-strike system where for every infraction – including forgetting to raise your hand. Anyone who got three strikes – basically losing all three felt balloons on their name – wouldn’t get a “Good Day Award”. If I didn’t bring home an award, my dad would spank me so hard. Sometimes I would try to get away from him, but he’d always get me and spank me. I would cry every time I got three strikes, and my teacher would just make me sit alone outside until I stopped crying. Basically, it’s like she was saying “Suck it up, Buttercup.” She didn’t seem to care that I was TERRIFIED of going home. My dad has since apologized, and my mom seems like she regrets not stopping my dad from spanking me. I was very spirited and strong willed as a child, but getting three strikes at that one kindergarten would just break my spirit for the rest of the day. It was torture.
I remember, when I was a kid. My family and I, were visiting another family. That my parents knew them. (I don’t know, how they knew each other.) They’ve a son. The boy was around my age at the time. (Not sure, if he was older than me or younger than me.) Anyways, my family went over to his family condo or home. It was in the evening. We’re perusal tv. I remember Full House being on. But don’t remember the episode. The boy and I, were playing. Running round, screaming with delight. His dad, got tired of us, running round the house. He grab his son, took him to the bedroom. I could heard the boy being spanked. The boy is crying. I believe the dad was yelling at him. My mom was like, telling my older sister and I, to watch tv. I thought, I was going get spanked. I might have seen the boy get spanked. But never forget hearing the boy crying in tears. His mom passed away. Shortly after she give birth to her second son. I can’t remember, if her second son was already born or she was still pregnant at the time. My family and I, went to that luncheon for Memorial of his mom’s funeral. I don’t think, I was at her funeral. But I remember having luncheon. We ate our meals. The boy and I, played. Then we left to go home. That’s the last time, I saw the boy. My mom got called probably a week or 2 weeks later. The boy and his younger brother, went to lived with his Aunt & Uncle. I believe his dad went to jail. If the boy still alive. He’s should be in his 40’s.
I had to do once with a little boy who used to kick, hit his siblings, and occasionally spit on me. I tried talking, persuading, calming etc methods and nothing worked, he didn’t seem to care. So, one time, against all my values and beliefs, when he spat at me, I did the same.. well, more pretending than really spitting but still. The little guy was shocked and since then stopped being violent! I don’t recommend it but.. sometimes following your instinct can be a solution ;))
Spanking seems to have a positive impact on myself, I avoided many traps that my friends who had no discipline fell into, like drug abuse, theft, drinking and one even went to prison for murder. I will say my dad was harsh a few times but always poured out affection and love. My wife says I’m a kind man, but recently I have been blessed with a grandson who is at times defiant and angry and uncontrollable. I find myself getting frustrated and angry. My daughter has heard similar studies as this article cites…. She has opted for gentle or positive parenting, as it is called, one thing I realize is the emotional trauma that he experiences is drawn out over hours not minutes like it was for me. I was spanked and then told I was loved. It seemed more merciful to me because it was quick and I felt like I was restored back in a good state of being after it was over, unlike time outs and lots of repetitive talking that seems to not relieve the trauma the child is in while throwing a tantrum…. Of course how could a study ever evaluate if love and affection were being equally applied to both groups… love conquers all.
I could relate a lot to the things youve said. Im 28 and after not seeibg my parents for years, Im still not sure if i want to see them, if i love them… I understand that they may have been at their ropes end, but I cannot overcome the pain, and theyre acting like “whatever happened, happened in the past, its ok”. I feel horrible
There was a time a Harvard study would have impressed me, but too many of their professors were mix-up in the BLM riot in 2020. I was spanked and slapped growing up by both parents and I learned to behave. I would not say abused, just enough to know my bad behavoir had consequences. My daughter was 2 or 3 years old, liked to feel around under the table for gum at restaurants, how do you explane to a kid that young about AIDS, hepatitis or herpes. A slap on the hand and firm no, did the trick, several times later. No one should beat their kids. If a parent spanks their kids that doesn’t mean they abuse them.
I remember being dragged by the hair and being beaten senseless and kicked out onto the porch when all I wanted to do as a Kid was go play with other kids in the neighborhood. I will NEVER EVER forgive my mum for this and she has terrified me for years up until I became desensitized to her yelling and physical abuse.
This is a difficult issue because the unfortunate fact is that simply speaking to Children, standing them in the corner, or taking away our favorite toy does not work. Without something else to back the parent up, the child simply learns that they can walk away from the corner or go get their toy back and there is basically nothing the parent can do about it. So the question becomes, if that greater consequence backing up the original punishment is not spanking, then what is the best alternative? Because, at some point, there has to be some sort of physical consequence if a child continues to push the boundaries and misbehave. So what do you do? As adults, we would be put into prison, but somehow I feel that locking your child in a cage would have even more negative psychological effects than speaking. But, without another more severe punishment to backup the original punishment, you end up with little hellions like my friend’s kids. They hit, bite, blatantly disrespect and disobey their parents, purposefully break things, and are generally completely insufferable. and when they are told to go to their room or stand in the corner, they simply refuse. Recently, when my friend insisted to her eldest comf that he had to stand in the corner yuri she said her could move, he simply walked away and scoffed: “what are you going to do about it?” The answer, of course, was nothing because my friend and her husband have tied their own hands. So, parents now need to figure out an alternative to spanking that actually works.
I got my FIRST belt whipping from Dad at 5, Wood stick paddling from Mom at 6. They were the worst things that ever happened to me, and who did it to me? If I had thought about it then, I would have given them an even worse punishment: “This is how I’m going to remember you for the rest of my life.” They wanted to make an impression, and they did.
Spanking won’t make your kids afraid of you as long as you use it judiciously and aren’t otherwise abusive, emotionally or physically. Not sure what he means by “illusion” of compliance. Am I just imagining that they aren’t doing bad things anymore? Or are they just doing the bad things when I’m not around? The latter is a legit concern. I think most studies that show associations between lower brain development and spanking don’t, or even can’t, correct for the confounding factors of concurrent physical/emotional/sexual abuse and neglect, poverty, and many other stressors. There are some that do, but since the metaanalyses take all studies into account, they’re muddied by the most other studies that don’t.
I was spanked by my parents when I was young, but they stopped when I hit my tweens. They would use spanking as a warning and if I continued to misbehave, I would get the “when we get home, you’re getting a spanking”. I was filled with dread the whole time until the event and no matter how much I begged or apologized, I got my spanking. Writing this now, it must sound so horrifying to others who weren’t there. I was only ever hit on the bottom with either a belt or wooden spoon. It wasn’t a common occurrence and apart from spanking, my parents were wonderful and supportive, especially my mom. Back then it was a “normal” thing to do. All this is just backstory to say that I didn’t grow up to be a menace to society and I consider myself well adjusted. But I did have a tendency to resort to violent acts when I was upset or didn’t get my way. I would physically hit my sibling or pets, punch my pillows or break things to make the rage subside. It also didn’t help that these things were considered normal outlets to emotions to have, when and where I grew up. I’m an adult now, and I have taught myself to not resort to violence when something doesn’t go my way. Even then, my first instinct always goes to physically hitting the problem to make myself feel better. I’m getting better at catching myself but the fact that that’s always my first thought at this age always bothers me. I’ve always wondered if being spanked played a role in my instincts developing that way. I’ve started having kids with my partner and we are in agreement that we won’t be using physical punishment because of the ways it made us feel as kids.
My father is very mean to me and he didnt even come over to see me when i was born but my sisters are lucky my father beats me with à stick my mother courageous my father and whenever im having fun my father tell e to shut it off my uncle bought me. A tablet for 2 days o got something to do,when school starts my father starts getting mad i hwve a device he shut down the tablet and hide it and never gives it until my mother finally comes to sences ( it’s rare she gets like my dad when school is around) i can het my tablet back but still im getting abused my friends bully me and school gives nightmare bad teachers only my classmates and Robloxian freinds help me out my grandparents are thebest ( maternal mothers side) uncles and cousin they are my onky hope 😢
I remember being spanked with a belt by my dad or spanked with a bare hand. I really don’t know what its done to me, other than i sometimes fear when someone raises their hand. I do remember that my mom thought my dad broke my back with how hard he spanked me, i had almost landed on the baby raccoon we were raising. It had fallen out of the tree and the momma wouldn’t take it back. And the vet said to leave it to die, my dad didn’t like that so he took it in and bottle fed it. My dad doesn’t spank me anymore because of that day, i had trouble walking and sitting. Constantly cried. -i really don’t know how it has affected me.
I think a lot of parents tend to be more, “Do as I say not as I do” parents and so they look at what they told their children to do or not to do, or what they would or wouldn’t punish their children for as determining how they raise their children instead of looking at the behaviors they themselves model. For instance they may tell their child not to scream at others and to be nice to other children while also spanking and yelling at their children, and then get surprised when their child hits and screams at other children, because they aren’t thinking about what behaviors they are modeling around their children and are only thinking about what they tell their children is acceptable behavior. I think in addition some parents who spank also don’t give their children enough attention when they aren’t spanking, and even the children of such parents who have children of their own but don’t spank still give less attention to their children than would be ideal and so their children still act out from not getting enough love and attention, and because the children who get spanked hide their misbehavior more it looks to the adults as if the children who get spanked act out less, and the adults just notice that the child who is less sneaky about acting out doesn’t get punished and not the way that the child isn’t getting enough love and attention, which is what then leads to the false narrative of the spoiled brat with lenient parents. I think if the child happens to have rich parents then the child getting material possessions may further blind adults to the way that their parents aren’t interacting with their child enough or giving their child enough affection so that adults are even more likely to think the Childs misbehavior is from getting spoiled instead of from a lack of affection and interacting with others.
I’m confused. People on here seem to be equating spanking with beatings. I got spanked and turned out fine. My parents didn’t beat me. A spanking had no lasting effect. It stung a littke but it also got me in line when I was being disobedient. A beating is far worse and more significant then a spanking.
The reason that I don’t agree with spanking, is that it only manages to get obedienced and doesn’t actually address the cause of a child’s problematic behaviour. As far as I am concerned, if we are good rollmodels to our children, make them work hard and explain things to them, they are much more likely to have fewer problematic tendencies. Children who are viewed as being bad often had parents who didn’t set a good example or had everything handed to them on a silver platter or are misunderstood and feel unseen or they feel that they cannot trust you as parent to make the correct decision so they try to make the decisions. Rarely are children bad for a want to be bad. Between children and parents there needs to be trust, understanding, level-headedness, and, communication Also, boundaries. By making some of the more important expectations you have of your children clear to them, they will know how they should try to act. If we do not set at least a handful of necessary boundaries for them, they might feel lost and frustrated because they have to deal with too much responsibility. Once again though, if you establish these boundaries and rules from a young age, you are mych less likely to have problems with them later on
I’m a person who was spanked as a child. I was spanked like my whole generation in my country 100%. In general we were spanked for serious things like if we tried to hit mom, or we were very disrespectful…I didn’t feel in danger, I felt I behaved horrible and that’s it. I’m sure you don’t want to hear it, but we are not as traumatized as you would love to hear. I never saw one child been aggressive with their own parents in my country, or yelling at them. That’s impossible for us, and not because we are afraid of a slap in the face. No one in my school is an alcoholic, or gang member, or drug addict, violent, my friends are successful women, I consider myself successful too and I don’t have addictions. On the other hand. I came to Russia 6 years ago, here people in general don’t spank children…and they have one of the highest rates in alcoholism, almost everyone smokes, has used drugs, some are addicted, and they are also very cold, cold as hell, men don’t cry etc. And many children behave horrible, in a way I had never seen in my country. So the cultural factor matters a lot, I don’t blame spanking from all childhood traumas.
Go in about this bs. Nowadays, a lot of children are so disrespectful toward their parents and others it’s ridiculous. Spanking vs. abuse are two separate topics. You’re teaching children that if they do something wrong the worst thing that could happen is a long talk or taking something away that they love. Kids, especially young ones, tend to get the message that No simply means NO and there are consequences for your actions. No consequences just means that parents are going to go fucking crazy repeating the same thing over and over again. And YouTubers, stop commenting this idiotic bs about how you had gotten a beating from your parents. That’s simply advise; not a spanking. If your parents were sensible people, they wouldn’t haven beating you. This article fails to mention the differences between cultures and the child’s (or children’s’) personality. Some kids need harsher disciplinary actions rather than simply placing them on a time out. Look at the world today people compared to how used to be. Ladies and gentleman, spanking has its benefits. When I used some bad words( after being warned not to say them) in front of my mom or in one situation, I ditched school. I got a spanking on both occasions . Do you think I ever used those words or ditched school again? NO. And I felt that the spanking was justified in these cases. Spanking has its benefits! Not abuse.
Proof that literally debunks this dude’s arguments. Literally everybody in the world (and history) who has been spanked and been perfectly fine (me included). I can’t tell you how much it disgusted me when I saw a kid freaking out and screaming in the market and the mother grabbed the kid and started hugging them. Kid wound up slapping his mother in the face. I wouldn’t have made it to the kicking and screaming part, my ass was already grass lol.
Spanking makes respectful society members who know consequences exist. Our society if full of narcissists now from these BAD recommendations. I am trying to raise strong children with character, not entitled brats. Look around our society, it is not better for the lack of spanking it has a lack of morals, self control and care for others. This anti spanking also does not differentiate hitting a child in anger which is not spanking but rather abuse. Spanking is passionless punishment. There are some behaviors that if children were adults they would go to jail for society will not give them a timeout and neither should I. Truth is we live in a brutal world I want my children ready for the REAL world not some ideal of what we wish it was that doesn’t exist.
I kind of ended perusal this article because I have heard about the affects of spanking, but didn’t know what the effects actually were. I was curious to look up these effects, because I suddenly had the epiphany, the suddden realization, that I don’t like to commit to anything. Even though I love the hobby, as soon as I start it I just suddenly get apathetic about it and will just do it as a routine for a short while but without enthusiasm and without any emotion. Yes, I was spanked. Almost every weekend I had to clean my room and if I didn’t make any progress in a certain amount of time I’d get spanked. I may not have cleaned my room because ‘hey, I’m surrounded by my awesome toys why not play with them?’ So I would never get my room cleaned in a timely manner and would get spanked. This was how it was for several years, because after a while I just figured ‘spanking is just the pain that’s going to happen, let it happen.’ I post this because I woke up from a dream realizing I don’t commit to anything. I get apathetic about doing the things I thought I love doing and may never get good at what I love doing. This also bleeds into my career. I accepted this entry level position because I got started even though I earned the certifications to be promoted elsewhere because I just don’t care now that I’m working. I could be earning 3x as much right now if I commited to it, but I’m apathetic again. There endless situations where I begin doing what I like/love, but will either never return to it or will apatheticly continue doing them.
Boundaries and discipline might be important to someone who has enough conscience and sense in the first place. But often the people who want to punish someone, punish the person who doesn’t deserve it. Spoilt people spoil children who most resemble themselves. Their own childhood abuse is mirrored and repeated by how they abuse. Then it is passed on, seen by how abusive their own children might become.
I think the fear of fysical violence is worse than getting spanked. As a kid, my father would speak with such a tone that it made me very affraid of him. He would fill with rage, but he didnt act out the agression. He just spoke in a very menacing way. This is more terrible than actual physical violence if it is done in a controlled manner. My mother hit me a couple of times, even as an adult after I insulted her (something like sayin she was whore), but I never feared her. She would give me a slap on the buttox and than it was over. It was a clear signal of wrongdoing from my part, and that was that. She was mad at me, but she didn’t takke it personal. My dad on the other hand has never really hit me, but he could speak in such a way that it made me believe he could’ve killed me. He spoke wrathfully, full of anger, he said things like ‘don’t you EVER do this again’ or ‘I’ll break your face’ (which in italy is pretty typical ‘ti spacco la faccia’), or he would hit himself, or approach me in a very menacing way. I still get chills when I think of it. I really do not understand him. On the one hand he is a soft playfull man, almost dorky at times. But it was overshadowed by this constant wrathfull state. He did not tollerate any kind of ‘unrespectful’ tone of voice. If he noticed rebellion in my voice, or in other way dissaproval of what he said, he would flip. Ones, even when i was already and adult, we were riding on the road, and I was trying to help him find the right path. He got irritated by my explanation and made it know.
What I cannot understand is how some parents who have spanked their children when they are only toddlers often every day can when the stakes are high during an examination for discovery there pretend as if they have never spanked any of their children. Not even when they are about to disobey by crossing the street on a red light while cars are whizzing by when those toddler children are being forced to go back and forth between a rural based home and a home in the city during interim custody of them or when they are about to jump on their sibling who had just decided it was time for them to take a nap at the time. When they are not continuing to be spanked daily by the so called perfect parents in a brand new to replace the biological mother parent who is, gasp! – Said by that so called perfect dad to be Indigenous in contrast with himself and his bride to be the new caretaker of his children almost all of the time from there too. While custody of the children arrangments are being decided with the help that one or more mistresses waiting in the wings at the time. A commonplace situation during past centuries going on in many a family court off to the side examination for discovery room around the world.
I don’t get how spanking an adults butt will land you in jail of sexual assault and assault but if it’s a kid spanking is totally ok it’s kinda sexual harassment too your hitting a private part of a kid as punishment how in the world is that ok it’s that too of a minor and it’s disgusting some kids when they grow up will have different opinions on what is considered sexual harassment to them and in some case spanking from a parent could be considered sexual harassment to themselves and it will make them feel disgusted also some parents will make their kids take OFF THEIR CLOTHES (and that too while exposing their private parts to their parents making the kids feel vulnerable ) so tell me if an ex r a bf did this to a girl or anyone did this to anyone that would be SEXUAL ASSAULT how do law enforcement encourage that it’s so weird and wrong imagine that happening to a 16 year old or 15 or even a 11 or a ten year old girl by her father it’s inappropriate making a kid take off their clothes and hitting a PRIVATE PART while their Brian is developing is just messed up and I don’t understand anyone who does that people actually do that fathers actually do that to their 16 year old daughters and it’s legal?? It’s basically sexual assault if it’s done by a boss to their employee then it’s also illegal but if it’s a kid then nooo it teaches girls who will grow up that if a guy or anyone hits their butt it’s ok for them to do that and it teaches men that when they grow up it’s ok to hit their kids and hit someone for punishment and the same thing can be applied to girl both things can and will and might happen to both genders and when they grow up it will teach them that sexual assault is ok
When parents fail to teach their children properly, someone else will always teach them what they did not learn. Usually the law or cell mates end up having to do the work when it comes to teaching what parents fail to. I have personally thanked my parents for spanking and grounding me when I deserved it. It sure paid off as I grew and I was always learning. So many people I knew growing up who never got that tough love from their parents are literally some of the saddest and pathetic people I have known. And the majority of those kids raised with no appropriate discipline are fuck ups in all sorts of different ways. And I feel very bad for them because they suffer and some have turned into absolute pieces of shit people. I fear for this new generation where this is the new norm…
Look at the state of society since spanking has decreased in its use, for the past 30 years. Pause and ask are children and society better off?? Spanking (when appropriate and in love, not beating!) is teaching the child that their behavior hurts them and others. Sadly our society today forgets we are not the smartest ones…8000 years of recorded history and many think somehow we know better on how to raise kids. May our ignorance in this generation be healed. Proverbs 13:24, Hebrews 12:8
Even monkeys don’t spank their kids the way we do. I’m glad this trend is dying out because honestly it goes beyond spanking so often. Forgive this long post, but it needs to be said. I was born in the early 40’s. And in Georgia, we were all raised about the same way; hard ass. How hard? My four year old sister interrupted our father while he was talking to one of his friends. Dad slapped her mouth so hard he knocked one of her baby teeth out. He then threatened to do it again if she started screaming. Mom patched her up and told her “you’ll thank him for this someday.” My brother got his ass beaten so hard with the horse whip that his pelvis broke. The crime? Failing to say “yes sir” after a scolding for failing to brush down the horses before putting blankets on them. He was never taken to a doctor and he’s had nine surgeries to fix the damage in the last twenty years. And yes, he continued to receive beatings for complaining about being in too much pain to work for months afterward. I got my ass beaten at age fifteen for being disrespectful to him. How disrespectful? I actually don’t remember because that was the day I grabbed the whip and snapped it over his head before taking off. And yes, I got beaten again when I got home. And again, mom said I’d thank him for this later. I got beaten again two months later for beating one of my classmates for disrespecting my sister. That was when I woke up: why was I getting beaten for acting out when all I was doing was demanding respect from a disrespectful kid the same way dad always did?
Without boundaries,ie spankings,well, the young will have an encounter with the law and their first big lesson is a criminal record. Or they have to face gangsters with no protective skills. 🙏 You’re very good at rhetoric, but, life skills,you have non. What would you do, being brought up with no boundaries and have to face a gangster? In the real world, you have to respect others. We’re not preparing our kids for the real world. I would sooner have a spank and learn boundaries,than have to face a member of the underworld unprepared.🙏 You obviously haven’t faced the real world yet 🙏
You observe nature. Parent animal physically discipline their babies all the time. Fear of parent is a good thing. Because fear and respect are intertwined. Reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. That’s traditional strict parenting. It doesn’t have to be physical. But you instill the fear of consequence in their hearts while they are young and they will understand early that actions have consequences.
You guys can say i have strict parents my parents even beat me with belt and stick my dad made me cut grass with a chopstick for 3 hours i experienced all of this and bike lock around my neck my dad made me do that because i misbeahaved in front of my guests dragged on a dog leash my mom made me fo that i also got beat witj a belt
Ive had facing the wall for an hour, mouth taped shut, eating soap, yanked by hair, spanked by slipper, tickled till can’t breathe, forced labor(some), metal rular on nuckles, listen to blasting music, the belt, hold hand on stove, and she kicked me out of the house for a week. All done by my mom so far in my life I’m 11
All of these are very extreme punishments. I just want to correct it on one tiny thing on the dog let loose on you you said, “depending on the BREED this can go well or not” it’s not depending on the breed it’s depending on the dog, and then fireman that hat that they have been traded in and that they have been taught
I was in school,one day having great time,I was facing backwards asking my friends on which page mam was teaching and the principal was jealous from me,likely to say that making a strict aim on me and she just literally throw me out of class with my bag for whole day and I stand there,asked much teacher to ask her about that but no one cared 😢😢
One time I got probably, I don’t 5 big squirts of foaming hand soap in my mouth. And I was done by my dad. Not to mention that it was just for “saying the Lord’s name in vain”. I mean like bro, I just said Jesus Christ in astonishment. And this happened VERY recently. Not to mention that I am a teenager.