Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves. It is essential to ask questions about the lifestyle, values, and compatibility of the prospective groom before meeting them. This can help create a solid foundation for future dates and a life together.
Ask questions about the lifestyle of your partner, such as where they want to live and what kind of home they love to reside in. These questions can foster open and honest communication between you and your partner, laying a strong foundation for a successful and fulfilling marriage. Families are co-operative and supportive, and the search process will not be smooth.
When asked why you haven’t married yet, it is important to know that it is all in God’s timing. Arranged marriage is when parents or someone close find a prospect for you and help you connect with them. Parents act as the catalyst, and couples should be aware of their partner’s overall way of life.
Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are primarily selected by individuals other than the couple themselves. If your partner is good and if his family has a good modern lifestyle, you will get love, support, care, and a dowry-free life from both marriages.
In summary, asking questions about the lifestyle, values, and compatibility of your potential partner is crucial for a successful and fulfilling marriage. By understanding these questions, you can ensure a strong foundation for your future relationship.
📹 11 questions EVERY BRIDE MUST ASK A POTENTIAL GROOM in an arranged marriage | By Raina
Thinking of an arranged marriage? Well, here are some questions that you must definitely ask a prospective Groom to predict your …
📹 How To Choose A Partner Wisely
We’re given very little guidance on how to choose our partners and tend to leave it to that mysterious force we know as ‘instinct’.
Lol As a Guy if a women ask you these questions just ask her: 1)What does she bring to her marriage other than Sex”? 2) Ask her past relationships 3) Ask her if there is No Dowry will she sign a Pre-nup or Declaration?. 4) Ask her Future Goals and Her Ambitions. 6)Ask her is she being Forced to be married. 7) Ask her what happens if the marriage dosen’t work out What she will do?
Actually the family only gives five minutes to talk in the first meeting with the man and in that you have to say if you like him or not if you like him you get engage then you can talk for some months and get married. This is what happens but i think all these questions are really important to ask to the boy and to the girl. Some people even might get offended for asking these questions.
Very true.. I also have the same thoughts.. Once I met a guy for arranged marriage and asked similar questions.. Although his family took my questions in negative ways, modified those and considered me wrong for their family.. They said “Ladki bht Tej hai” 😀 and rejected me.. But I still believe that we should stand for ourselves and I am gonna ask the same questions next time I will meet another guy 😜😜
Topics discussed in the article: #1 Financial Expectations/ Dowry #2 Nature of relationship with the family, role of parents in person’s life and disputes within the family #3 Sharing responsibility for daily chores #4 Tackling issues arising out of work commitments of the Spouse #5 Kids #6 Reasons for getting married #7 Personality, Ideology, Habits, Conflict Resolution, etc. #8 Planning about future finances and how to support dependent parents #9 About Love Life – Past relationships, sex and virginity, compatibility #10 Medical History #11 Stand on Feminism I think men would also like to ask* same questions to women (suitors). Great presentation.
Perhaps it would be better to cut to the chase. Just tell him these points. Firstly, I refuse to maintain any relationship with my in-laws after marriage, but you must be warm and affectionate towards yours. Secondly, your income is mine, my income is mine. Thirdly, if ever there is a difference of opinion between your parents and me, I am in the right, they are in the wrong. Remind him that 498A is real. If after that he is still willing to marry you, ask yourself whether you want to marry him.
You really nicely structured all the questions. It covered almost everything that how forward we can go with that person. Especially in arranged marriage scenario, we have no chance to find out exactly who the person we are stepping with. These 11 questions could almost help you out with that ” is that he ? “
This should be taken into context. In a successful marriage, there should be equal contribution from both genders. If a guy is sole bread winner then he would expect the girl to cook, clean and take care of their kids. If the girl is also working no matter how much she earns, the guy has to share household responsibility. Likewise if a guy is a virgin, then he would expect the girl to be virgin too.. and that’s fair, Girls shouldn’t take offence on this issue. if the guy is not a virgin then the question of asking a girl about her virginity shouldn’t cross his mind.
2:12 – a slight two-sided effect comes in here. When u ask the guy if he knows all this basic skills(cooking, cleaning, etc), it should be with the assumption that even the girl knows these basic skills. In today’s day, each person should know of it and it doesnt apply to a specific gender. Lol even im working on these stuff from now at 18, cause many people nowadays know ghanta
I like how these feminists always try to picture arranged marriage in a bad light saying that you have to have sex with a stranger and how that can be a scary thing. Yet on the other hand they proudly practice and encourage hookup culture. Please help me understand one thing, having sex with a person whom you willfully married and decided to spend your entire life with is creepy, uncomfortable and misogynistic? On the other hand having sex with a total stranger whom you just met, going to his house in the middle of the night disregarding all the safety concerns and leaving him in the morning sometimes without even asking his name is very liberating, cool and empowering? At least in the arranged marriage you get to know him, talk to him daily in the phone and hanging out with him at least for a few weeks.
Why not apni salary ke baare mein bhi batao? I have come across many cases where wife says I am working and husband has this notion that both will work and built their life. But post marriage it comes out that she earns 20k or 30k and expects husband to accumulate assets and invest in real estate and at the same time she wants him to manage her Gucci Prada Zara demands.
Hi, I frankly like the questions and I would love to answer them and appreciate them at the same time. But the idea of asking these questions only to arrange marriage is controversial, I think many of these questions can become part of your first date with someone until you know it’s not going to be serious in the future. But still question related to medical history, family, the previous relationship can be asked.
MEN, ASK THE SAME QUESTION TO HER TOO. BE SERIOUS ABOUT MARRIAGE WOH APNA GHAR CHOD KE AA RHI HAI AND WOH EK BHI BAAR NHI SOCHEGI BEFORE DESTROYING YOU AND YOUR HOME. AND AS FOR WOMEN JUST LOOK AT THIS GIRL SHE CLEARLY HAS NO REAL WORLD EXPERIENCE. ALL IN ALL THIS article IS JUST FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSE. DEKHO ENJOY KARO BHOOLJAAO.
Great article, I am a guy and I am looking for a virgin girl… not because I judge people for their sexual choices, but because I personally have preserved my virginity even after getting multiple chances and I want to share it with only my wife and I would appreciate if I will be her 1st too, I am not judging, it’s just a personal preference, I completely respect the people who took different choices.
These days I don’t really know what is wrong with men? Even educated men. Forget about people being IIT, IIM, working officials in Apple, Google,most of the men me and my sister came across are mostly dumb. Indian girls who are at their marriage age might relate to what I am about to say. We are asked by our parents to register on some marriage sites or communicate on social media with boys. Shaadi karni h to ladka dekho, ladke ki family se milo. I don’t know why inko 2 din nahi hote baat kare ye sidhe chutiyape p utarte h shaadi k pehle s*x karlo, shaadi se pehle wala bf banalo,nude pictures send karo, abhi tum itni open minded nahi Ho to shaadi k baad kaise hoga? Itne padhne k baad bhi in chand ladko ki akal ghutne mei hi h kya? We are just fed up with such boys and their mentality. Aadho ko is baat ki takleef h ki itna padhai kaise karli, itni degrees kaise le li. Aadho ko problem h women equality se. Tum apni bakwass karlo but tumme healthy discussion karne ki shamta nahi h. Tum ladki se duniya bhar ki chat karoge, ghanto baatein karoge and jab tumhara matlab nikal gaya then u just have a memory loss and forget everything. Tumse bolo ki shaadi kar lete h to inko responsibility nahi leni because inka career important h. OK. Career and tumhari family tab kaha chale jaate h jab tum ladki se flirt kar rahe hote ho ya ghanto phn p baat kr k bkchodi kar rahe hote Ho. God grant some common sense to such people. Jitni padhai karlo tum ya jitni badi post p pahuch jao, agar equality and respect tum nahi de sakte na kisiko then sab bekaar h tumhari life ki saari achievements.
If Guys should not expect that girl will cook or clean . Then girls too should not expect from guys that they will provide fianancial security to them . I think both of them should make this thing sure, if they both are working, then work should have to be divided . If girl is not working, then should should work at home by cooking and cleaning . There is no disrespect in that .
All your questions are to the point and good, but I just want you to realize that if you are willing to ask these questions, be prepared to answer some of the same when he starts asking some. Compromise is a two-way street. If you want him to compromise his situation and tell you all the right answers, you should have the courage to compromise and answer some of his.
Some comments are so funny tho . Why girls asking questions before marriage is faminists I am totally confused. We are jusy trying to know you . Trying to get your mentality. Prevention is better than cure you know guys. Ps: and for people whos saying girls should not get offended if they ask questions. Doesnt the guys whole family interrogate the girl before marriage so why are boys crying now its funny
Pretty sure no one will get married if someone blindly follows this person’s advice. Point10 is outrageous. Every family have someone who does suffer from some disease and the probability that it has passed on is always there. Point 9 is stupid. People who are virgin would prefer their partners to be virgins as well. When women have preferences it is called standards, if men have it is misogyny. Point 7 and 8 is also idiotic. People don’t get married in their 40’s to have their entire life plan figured out. I honestly don’t think this person is qualified to advice to women. Most of the other members of the website seem to give good balanced advice. Most of her articles have lots of issues.
Dear host aap har topic ko itna hype kyu kar deti hon plz aap indirectly ladkiyon ko unke parents ke against nahi karo do U know parents ko kitna emotionally suffer karna padta hai. The age in which our parents need us at most us Age main apan log so called adult bankar over smartness dikhane lag jate hai unhe feel karate hai ki aapki soach purani hon gayi hai & indirectly (U’re in your 50s don’t know anything I’m 23 I know about the creepy world) aapki khoob sari baton main koi point nahi hota hai really pointless hoti hai U’re a chatterbox ✅Remember apan bhi unhi parents ki bacche hai jinki arrange marriage hui thi kyu apan log khush nahi hon kya apne parents ke relationship se😂 Zabaradasti ka content publish nahi kiya karo with pointless points
Well conversation is very important. Agar aap dono ek dusre se ache se baat kar sakte ho to ye jada sahi hai, apne aap ko ek dusre k saamne actual terms mai rakho, jo aap ho, taki kisi ko bhi problems na ho, and ye baat to sahi hai ki sabse pehle aap ye confirm kar lo ki aap shaadi k liye tyar ho ya nahi, ya phir aap logon ko kitna time chahiye… Agar koi insan aapke liye wait karne k liye tyar hai and aapki care karta hai, to possibly aap ek-dusre k saath achi life spend kar sako.
Imao what is wrong with men in comment section. Seems they are so angry and unhappy. I personally don’t find any thing wrong in this article it is very important to understand each other before getting married. Even there are so many questions or doubts men will have and there’s nothing wrong in that they can ask nicely
My Husbund has hiper anger issues. He never laughs he is very selfish as his parents. He don’t like to open up i front of me. It’s 1 and half year I am in this marriage now. Our intimacy is like twice in a month. He don’t like much. I told to his mom about his anger issues his mom asked me yes he have some issues but he told you this before marriage na? I am fed up now
Inspired by this vdo i am going to note the points boys need to keep in mind while choosing a bride 1.ask her about her parents and family,if she has a good relationship with her parents or she obeys them then it is a very good thing because a good daughter is always a good wife If she interferes with your relationship with your parents then never ever marry her because family should always come first.If she want you to get seperated from your parents then also it is a red signal.If she cant see her own parents in your in laws then also its not good. 2.Ask them about their educational qualification,and her willingness to do work If she want to do a job congrats rhen she will understand the value of money and will never treat you as an atm But if she want to be a housewife then also ok she can help your mother in housework,and if there is a maid she can survey her work also. But if she wants to do neither then danger she will never value money and surely will treat you as an atm. 3.ask her about kids if she dont want it ask for the reason if she is studying then ok . 4.diseases,nothing new ask about all the diseases raina told and ask her about valid certificates also. 5.ask her about previous relations and whether she is a virgin or not.If you are not a virgin then it doesnt matter whether she is or not,but ifyou are a virgin but she is not then red flag walk out immediately.Ask her about all her previous relations it can be that she has some sort of space left for her ex boy friend in that case i think your marriage will not be happy Tell your relations and virginity issue to her elaborately .
Why do I get a whiff of judgement for girls who choose to go for an arranged marriage ? At the end of the day, if a girl gets to choose that she wants an arranged marriage as an option, it also means that the guy will also be her choice. What’s wrong in being pointed in a direction by your parents? As long as you get to choose if you want to stick with it or not.
Point no. 3 So, the guy has to do job to support the family and also has to do household works as well.. Waah 👏👏🙂 Also, there’s nothing wrong with someone wanting a virgin partner if they’re virgin themselves. It isn’t regressive. Aur shaadi ka main basis hi hai sexual relationship, so of course the couple must consummate their marriage, if the girl keeps being “uncomfortable sexually” for too long then that isn’t right to the guy, especially if he’s ready.
There r lot of questions can’t ask guys openly like that and def not on first meeting. They go home and twist ur words and complain about u to they parents and then these parents tell ur parents and ur parents gives u the worst scolding or maybe spanking of ur life. And they won’t stop just by telling ur parents they will tell everybody else too and make them judgmental about u. I had met one guy who even lied to his mom about things I asked. I wish if it was that easy.
All my friends please do not get married if you find a girl like this Kyunki inka baat soon ke to aisa lag rha hai ki sadi ke baad mummy papa se bahut jaldi alag kara degii inke jaisi ladkiya Bura laga hoga meri baat se to koiii baat nhiiii bura lage to lage but jo such hai vo such hai. Or ye sadi ke liye question kam samjhauta zada lag rha hai
1.so called love marriages-us uk and west has 50 to 87% divorce rates despite of knowing eachother internally and externally. 2.all those questions also apply to the bride,is not it? 3.feminism!what is the definition that woman gives is important. according to indian law,women get reservations and special privileges(men dont get those).she cant use those as both the genders are equal. if she goes by the us and uk type feminism then we have to ask her what is her opinion about abortion? if she is with abortion then she is supporting murder of a living human being which is a female baby(50%),is not she violating one of the main feminist cause? there are many more. lastly,you people know JORDON PETERSON,ben shapiro,milo yiannopoulos,Kellyanne Conway and many more,is not it?
..and irony result came in “NAA ..LDKI BHOT TEZ H AUR FUTURE ME DOMINATE KR SKTI H”..ye INDIA h yhn ladki chahe kitni b smart & talented ku n ho,usey kam se km bolke aur ankhon me nazakat liye sar jhuka k rkhna hota h..👍kuch n ho ra mentality me change ..kahin jo itne swal himmt kr k nibta b liye to ldke wale fail ka certificate thmaa k ghrwalo ko emotional torcher krne ka license de jynge😁
Not being vergin is a problem for him. Red flag 😂 . Run away…..sounds like she have done it many a time, trying to keeping her chahces awake . Lady a man marrying you,potentially would engage with you emotionally in future, this mere thinking that you have moarned in someone else’s arm would take his sole out…(** untill unless he himself has not done it multiple partners )). …….Ask your father will he be chill imagining your mother had moarned when someone else was in . 🧐🧐. Or ask your brother. …… … Rest of the questions are good .
I had a wife who was retired and she did so little and expected me to pay for everything and do all the work. I told her we are going to lose the truck and house if you do not help me with the payments. I had to instruct her in the way she could really know that Jesus is the only way for eternal life and and she did learn and cried to me about her actions. Then God allowed her to get cancer and die from it. She reached for me the night she died and I was there. She left me no money and only bills. I prayed to God the Father about this. He allowed her to come to call me from the kitchen as she had done so often and I knew she was okay. She later appeared in a friends bedroom. The husband called his wife because Jill was there. She was smiling and sat down on the bed. I thanked Jesus for giving me the sign that Jill was in Heaven.
Successful marriages frankly depends on many factors like honesty of the girl and boy, tolerance and adjustments and finally ofcourse quite a bit of luck. Wish there were set of rules which were available for confirmation that this guy or girl is best for me to be in a successful marriage. Because the most important factor is the character of human being which changes based on pure circumstances.
M a feminist but I must say this..now a days majority of girls in the name of equality not longing for independency but through attitude and arrogance that o my god I will not do this I will not do that after marriage…comeon either boy or girl both have to give up something or take-up something when going into a marriage
I never asked for dowry but my wife and in-laws have exploited me by emotional blackmailing after marriage.. what it should call? Ab to family ka part hogaye hai..kya hua thoda help kardo..beggers!!.kafi partial hai Indian laws men keliye… I’m trapped..I can’t even get devorce without giving half of my hard earned money..bullshit.. #nobodywithmen
I got married 2 years back and Point No. 2 seems so relatable to me now. Wish I had come across one such article back then.. Also the ‘kids’ wala point. I wanted a kid in the first year to which he said yes. But after marriage his parents and sister started objecting this and said that they don’t want all that nuisance so early.
Your questions indicates not how the foundations of the proper relationships between husband and wife should build but how to make dominance on husband…. Questions lightens the mistrust and insecurity of girls over boys rather than girls should tell affirmatively their thoughts and ambitions over marriage and her desires and belives
These questions are good and must be aksed .But humans are so unpredictable, there are examples flooded up with people having love marriage,being in relationship for so long ended up divorced, cheating, adultery, physical and mental abuse,murder . For me Trust, Understanding, Respect and Loyalty is far more important than love, though love is also important. But above mentioned qualities is must for any successful working relationships. And nowdays most of boys/men know cooking and household work. And they are doing for their loved ones. If man is bread earner and wife is housewife then wife is expected to do household work.and vice versa. But both housewife/househusband should be treated equally because if we put price tags on daily household work they will cost neary 20k+ per month. The problem is Many womens have problem with marrying a man with low income or jobless man and if they do it then they make him feel less and society also mock these type of man. And most man don’t want to marry a women having more income than him. But things are changing …. Love and Peace ♥️
Becareful ladies, there are men nowadays who says they want financially independent women and acts like that are supporting you for career but the eyes are on your salary(if you are earning high). Specially this is happening in metro cities. So just be careful dnt get hitched to a gold digger thinking he’s open minded and supportive. Ask them how are they going to react if you wanna take break or leave your job. Whether they will support you or not. If he says no then it’s a red flag
Everything is good but this happens only in Upper class families… Bichare middle class vale bndo ko in test ka pta bhini hoga or itna sun k bnda hi hopeless ho jana h. Nd akela milna milana ldka ldki ka dekhte time vo b Upper class me hi h yaha… Middle cls me ldki se koi puchta tk ni h… So ldko se kya puche ki bajai ldke ldki k maa baap ko sikhao kuch esa content bnao.. Aadhe se jyada divorce ki vajah Saas Bahu ki ladai hoti h naki pati..
I think having a right minded family is as equally important as having right husband. I’m not saying they should all be forward minded but atleast they should not be so orthodox that in future will hinder with your freedom. All the points mam mentioned are also important. But I also think all the points will not be fulfilled in every guy. If they are all fullfilled he may be lying. No one is perfect but you must make sure alteast your priorities and your requirements are fulfilled. Should not compromise when it comes to marriage.
Good article ! Let’s talk about the questions you touched the twitching nerve of the society . It would also help the opposite sex besides few questions. Few corrections living with a joint family doesn’t make him dependent and if does believe you me in towards unreliable world joint family is a big support system . You talked about medical history and both groom and bride should ask for the medical history and just for your information having different blood groups dots not effect the child my mother’s blood group is different then me and there are no exceptions 👍
I think this is very important article in the perspective of a women. I guess generally women dont ask much and they perceive that the man will understand without she having to say anything. But as a modern women you need to ask everything before committing to a serious relationship as mostly women have their vulnerability like during pregnancy, childbirth, periods etc etc and its very important for a women to know how her man will treat her in her ups and downs..
Going through comment section I came across some comments like “itna kaise puch payenge, itna gharwale baat nhi krne denge and arrange marriage mei ye sab kaise puch sakty hai” Be clear guys, if you don’t have idea of such things you’re life can be hell after marriage. And these questions should be asked in love marriages too. Because I have seen people getting married after having a short term affair. They didn’t spend much time together and get married which further leads to consequences as you don’t really know your partner. Give time before you decide to take such a great step in your life. And this for both guys and girls. Because it’s not only that guy lies and shows off their good self .
I feel unsafe whenever I think and listen about marriage. Like apna to pakka katega, aaj tak kabhi kuch sahi se hua nahi,aur ladki k mamle me apne zero marks hai, 24 old still no relationship experience, no female contact and conversation, basically mechanical engineer. It’ enough to describe… It’ unbelievable log kaise kr lete hai baat, dosti, and shadi.ek jo psnd thi usse btane me 10 saal laga diye and usne to sirf meri baat sunkar hi sidha muh pr bol dia “stay away from my life” it’ not so easy to approach and speak with girl.
To be honest, out of all the guys and men I have come across till date, I swear, I haven’t had an encounter with the one who is open & understanding with the idea of ” feminism” . They are always like, ” chahe kitna bhi equality and modernalizaton ki baat karlo, it is definite that girls have to be the one to compromise more in a relationship, esp marriage, otherwise they won’t work, coz according to them, that’s what has been happening since generations and thats what makes women stronger and mahaan🙄”. I know it’s a ridiculous thought. I even gave up with this thought that men other than these even exist. Honestly, I don’t like the men around me a lot. Its like there is no empathy anymore . And I despise those women who are misusing their rights. Seriously, what’s wrong with them?
O wow seriously, you cannot compromise a little bit with him or his family. Boy should be earning, no dowry,no family disputes, stay away from inlaws, cooking husband, freedom, bla bla bla . Are you serious, just look at yourself,no one is perfect neither you are, judge yourself and ask yourself what you deserve. Don’t get misguided by these idiots who don’t even have their life settled giving tips how to settle life . Too much high expectations will always bring bitterness in relationship either it is love or arrange.🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄😒😒😒😒
इतनी expectations के साथ लड़का तो नहीं मिलेगा पर HOPE मिलेगी की आपको ऐसा लड़का जरूर मिलेगा।। हां एक बात और क्या जो ये सारे क्वेश्चन पूछ रही है क्या वह परफेक्ट है।। 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎 Some of the points are good but don’t follow her advice 100% anyone would easily get fed up with these types of questions thinking it as an interview 🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️
Hi I m a doctor, so plz allow me to correct a couple of things in this ( only medically related). I strongly agree with the rest 👍. Blood group incompatibility is not an issue actually. It can be easily overcome nowadays and your doctor will check for it . I don’t think u need to call off a marriage for that . Also, breast cancer is always inherited from the mother’s side .. so u need to undergo that test .. not the boy . And if u want the guy to undergo the medical tests, it’s fair enough that u should also undergo all the screening for the cancers / disorders. Word of caution though, these tests cost a bomb! Good work as always, love ur website 🙏
If say its not an arranged but love marriage, will you still ask for all these tests? You aren’t of the age that should be guiding someone which all things are really important to ask for? Did you discuss these questions with your parents because they are grownups and have seen life for a longer time.. I understand that some of these questions are important to ask but tests? Really?
If it’s really arranged, I doubt anh guy would be too honest answering these! It’s not like you will get to meet a lot, hence the conversations cannot be natural. Neither of the two can be themselves while answering. It will be more like an interview where you would want to answer in a more politically correct way, anything to get the job! Honestly, there’s just nothing that can justify an arranged marriage, except for the fact that if something goes wrong in an arranged marriage, your parents ts won’t blame you!
Don’t think you’ve experienced asking questions……when families are involved, itna aur aise sawaal puch hi nhi paate cause later both our families are going to ask what you asked & spoke about. Remember, your family is trying to gain a good impression from them & you are bound to support. You are carrying family’s respect as well so mushkil ho jaata h puchna. He can also say omg aisi interview le liya uss ghar ki ladki ne.
All these questions are useless. It’s just like an interview and one always know what is the right answer, foremost one should be honest. Kis joker ney yeh list prepare kee hai. Most girls suffers from PCOD, etc. In reality if you ask even 6-7 of these questions to a guy a sensible person would there itself reject a girl even if he is genuine perfect.
Kabhi kabhi larki ya unke parents bhi kayi baateey chupa teey haiy mam…I think every person lies about his/her experience and decisions so not only men but women also should share their past and other problems if they ever had any. I think that marriage is not between just a man and a women but a bond between two families so there shouldn’t be any secrets .
I totally agree with you.but to my knowledge,all the men in my culture are the same. Even asking questions like these might put a false impression that I may be arrogant which might be I might find no one in my culture. And my parents definitely won’t let me marry guy outside this culture instead they might ask me not to ask such questions. What do I do? I am a modern liberal Muslim and I want to work and enjoy my freedom. But in my society,they don’t allow a woman to step out of the house alone and always want us to put on burqah.
Itne questions puchne ki permission “ARRANGED MARRIAGE” me.. big laugh… Anyways I will give u two questions, ask him “1.tumhara daily schedule kya hai? 2.Weekend pe kya karta hai?” Isse tumko uski life ka 70% pata chal jayega.. aage piche sab compromisable hai.. take my advice, experience is talking
In simple words mam..just get away with interview questions…feminist…if anyone does agrees also she will be keep her loyalty..no one can assure it….so brace for equality in every aspect..like law,job,fundamental rights..even also earning…not to side one in money side..and given born to dilemma by u like feminist Another elaboration is…..its a fact that indian girls r approaching western girls idea..like freedom liberty…but the point is western girls r fair enough and gud luking..but in indian girls na sakal achi hai..upar se demands baade..this will not get a husband clearly….coclusion indian men had evolved to scan the gold digger mentality of girls..and men r sucessfully now able to scan the dark side of feminism
I am perusal it again and again and sending it to every damn friend jab tak vo dekh na le. Although I’m not getting married, I am a feminist who is already sorted on this issue. Yet I know many girls who do not really pay attention to all these questions before getting married and then get stuck into toxic marital life.
🔔Ghanta! Look. Girls just want liberal and smart grooms. Men want fun loving and beautiful brides. Basically! Things change when Mother-in-law, relatives, friends, neighbours, exes initiate issues from either side irrelevant of the husband or wife’s side. There creates situation when either one of the couple or both change. Then the ‘Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki’ starts and for your kind knowledge neither you’d be spared Ma’am neither me however smart either of us be! So enjoy this cumbersome yet lovely life.
Aapki Shaadi hui hai ya nahi . Aur agar hui hai to aap gharme ghar ke kaam me haat batate ho ya nahi? Apne shaadi kyunki. ? Aapko Shaadi ke baad adjustments nahi karne pade? Madam aapne jitne sawal yaha Karen hai. Isse agar koi honest banda bhi hoga to use bhi over judgement karke ladkiya nikal jayenge. Questions to past relationships . Are you really ready to marry. Ye sab thik hai. Why you want to get marry iska jawab ladkiyan aur ladke dono ek perfect nahi honge itna to sure hai.
4:42 😂 let consider a boy 26 year old govt job 60k salary+No dowry + living with parents + 10 killa agriculture and zero past relationship (gf ki to dur ka baat touch tak nahi kiya kisi unknown girl ko) …just 2 wish his future wife is Virgin and carrying his family and her hubby Kuch galat hai kya. Please tell? #answer do
no one should take a decision in just one meet. you can’t go meet a guy one day and have a question checklist. be clear to your parents and the potential husband that you would like to take time deciding have atleast 2-3 phone conversations before making a choice. you’ll get answers to most of these questions even without needing to ask.
The biggest problem with arrange marriage and asking questions is that when both the parties meet, they try to present their best self, it most of the times is a fake self, the “perfect” self….they are not going to be honest about these. Well, I will never have an arrange marriage but still I wonder you know.
Don’t judge a book by its cover . You are talking so illiterate because most of people does not answer clearly nowadays. Every body want to prove him or her in a bucket of truthful good helpful to another. But all the judgement completed in the box named as ‘our room’. So please stop to spread this unrealistic answers and questions. And mam for your kind information are you follow these rules in your life and are you happy in your marriage life after following this rule. These questions are so dramatic unrealistic and to prove hisself or herself as an backdated……Thank you 🙏🙏
You know arranged marriages are useful for girls who want to get marries but are very introverted and can’t make boyfriends. Aise girls and boys bohot hain. But if they want to marry, is it okay for them to end up alone? Which is why i think arranged marriages should be a potential choice for everyone. But of cours we should also have the choice of love marriage.
One thing no one is perfect to be an ideal partner and having this many expectations just from one person will definitely hurt your expectations. What I see and feel that life is all about compromising and trying to keep balance whether men or women. And those who don’t compromise and want to live as per their comfort zone, there is nothing wrong in it. But they will be left alone in most of cases or otherwise due to their expectation they will keep on suffering. So be independent that your expectation doesn’t rely on others.
Question are good if someone has dare to ask me these questions and answer counter question that i will ask then we have very good chance of being together. I think we should look for qualites like curiousity, acceptability,confidence,ability to consider others while taking decision, flexibility in thought,taking a stand for oneself,honesty, Clarity in thought, diverse range of interst.
Take your decisions in your own hands. No Youtuber and no one else is going to come to you to reconcile down the line after say a few years, if you sticked solely with the “help” that these Youtubers have to offer. Who gave them the authority? Do they have certifications regarding that? And worse still that these articles don’t come with any statutory warning signs that is so crucial. websites like these are not simply teaching how to cook or which mobile phone to buy but subtly altering people’s thinking – something that only you should best decide in your best interest.
Contract hi sign kara lete sabse safe rahega.. Ki ye ye pasand ye ye nhi.. Aisa rahna padega sth nhi to divorce… Dono ka faida.. Pahle k tym main itna sab ni hota tha gharwale karte they or sab khush v rahte they..bcs wo ek dusre ki kamio ko apna k chalte they.. Kamiya sab main hoti perfect dhundhne main single hi rah jana…
If I am a guy earning 1lakh/month feminist opinion don’t matter to me I will marry accordingly my choice because I will even get good girls from town area or semi urban area where Feminists are less and girls learned respect for other gender but yes when guy is not that much financial stable than he should think before marriage better it can be hectic for him.. Financial unstable+Feminist =Deadly concept😂😂😂 So always try to marry a non feminist Even if if she had career not every career girls are same..But Never marry a girl who is about your money disrespect your parents😮
Try to follow the ISLAMIC rules you guys won’t need to down with each other and the married life will go comfortably. What do we need to ask a thousand questions in this era? What about our parents did they didn’t ask so many questions and they are happy like a married relationship for 30-40 years. What’s our problem?
Dear what will we do if we don’t have any boyfriend and all..ab es halaat mei to arrange marriage hi hogi naa chahe me Krna chahun ya nhi… And most important ladke se jada dikkkat khud ladki k parents krte hain..kya hua agr wo nhi chah raha ki tm kamao,bahu ho kaam to Krna hi padega,itna acha ladka nhi milega…Aur fir agr govt job ka officer mil jae to aankh band kr bs le jao meri beti ye to thi hi parae eska to dharm hi hai tmhari gulami Krna
My mother and father share a very cold relationship and my dad is never really “present” with us, also my mother has SLE “chronic disease” and I often find her crying alone and she looks depressed most of the time.. and what a surprise the ones I’m attracted to are basically the broken girls who have family issues.. and I think that’s because I want to “save them” but in reality I’m doing it because I’m projecting my wanting to save my mom and make her happy into other girls.. and yes it never works because most of them are “too broken” to be fixed
I understand this. I was attracted to avoidant people, when in reality what I needed was attention, affection, things they could very rarely offer. I could choose affectionate friends, but not affectionate partners. When I met my current life partner, not only did my instincts told me not to see him again, but felt things like fear, thought he was to intense. I was afraid of him, afraid of the unknown, because he was not familiar, like the clip says. Luckily I was doing therapy and I knew theoretically he was what I was looking for. He now showers me with attention and affection every day. So many compliments and grand gestures. If I would have trusted my instincts I would have never known this kind of love exists.
Yes. The “opposites attract” may be true for more surface-interests like what sports you like, what you work with, what movies you like, etc, but I believe that inherently different and polar opposites of personalities (values, thinking patterns, more deeply psychological things) would only cause problems. Two people need to be similar in those deeper areas. At least that’s my take on it!
My parents marriage is not a loving union. In our family we all just do our own thing and we never do the whole, “Tell me about your day.” or say I love you..we just know we love each other. I already don’t trust myself. I’m extremely undecisive, so I’m petrified of marriage because I know I’ll just end up in a relationship similar to my parents and I don’t want that. I want REAL love, but I know I won’t find it so I put up a front saying I don’t want marriage, but secretly I do. In the end, I’d rather be lonely than miserable with someone I can’t stand.
I don’t know about this. Sometimes, the way we’re raised makes us want the complete opposite. My mother “showed love” by basically helicoptering over me all the time to make sure nothing bad ever happened to me. As an adult, I find overly controlling people immediately off-putting. I might even say that I prefer women who leave me the fuck alone… which is probably why I’m single.
I honestly have never been too bothered about finding a partner. I’d rather not waste years of my life dating one person after the other, frantically looking for someone to share my life with when I never had a life in the first place. If I ever fall in love, then so be it; but I’m not going to desperately look for it.
This is a great article! I used to pick toxic partners because my parents were toxic. It was hard for me to acknowledge it to myself, and even had to make a rule based on how will my friends react on my boyfriends. It was a hard process, and involved me to break my own heart a couple of times, but I ended up marrying the most amazing man, and this marriage gave me a lot of heeling that I needed so much. I hope that this post can be encouraging for people out there who are going through the similar struggles.
Don’t try and change the other person. Don’t fall in love with the idea of someone vs the person themself. Don’t go in with any expectations, that just puts pressure on the situation to be what it is not. Let it be what it is and let it flow. You can never force a relationship. There is such a thing as not trying hard enough, but more often than not the problem is trying too hard. It’ll work out or it won’t, and if you’re both honest, there’ll be a good reason for whatever outcome there is. Let yourself be vulnerable: it’s the only way to have that true and honest shared love that you deeply want.
After a terrible relationship with my ex I understood exactly what I wanted in a woman. Trust became priority #1. I found I woman who I can trust, now we are happily married. We bought a house and are having our first baby. We have been together 6 1/2 years. Looks and money should be seen as bonuses not what to look for.
Choosing is a challenge, yet its worthy investing time in, for this affects our happiness for life. Its not about being sophisticated, but choosing someone with shared values and interests, one you can converse with, play with etc like a friend. One who will commit through the ups and downs of marriage.
Most people do not feel good about themselves and struggle with self-worth (no matter what they look like) so they are usually attracted to someone who mirrors that low regard for them back, but eventually they change and choose to love themselves, so in the end it’s a triumph when you leave someone, it’s a learning process and it means you’re starting to love yourself first…
You bring up many good point, however I disagree with your viewpoints on instinct. It’s not our instinct that leads us to lovers who offer us familiar love we’ve experienced in childhood. Our subconscious does that out of habit and familiarity. It’s, in fact, our instincts that are being ignored completely when we continually give in to these habits. Our instincts/gut would actually tell us to not head into situations that would harm us in some way. However, as some have pointed out, every single person we connect with comes into our lives to teach us something we needed to learn. No matter how bad my past relationships were, I don’t regret them, because I grew as a person and learned a lot. Just remember that if your gut is telling you to not do something, don’t do it. Your instincts never lie and are never wrong.
Summary: We are actually (only) attracted by people who have the style of love similar to our parent’s in the past. And our choices are limited by that tendency, which sometimes result in toxic relationship. To choose a partner wisely, we should examine our past and free ourselves from it (e.g. When we have a toxic parent.)
Also sometimes its just better to remain single. – We long for someone to lean on in the hopes he or she can help resolve our inbuilt problems. We say to ourselves “When i find love then i’l be happy”, or “When i get that new Job then i’l be happy” But in truth its YOU who you have to learn to love. Although its not encourage in Western society, Loving yourself, free from Ego, is a sure path to liberation and happiness. – I hope all who read these words find peace and happiness they so deserve.
The problem comes when you’ve accepted that the ‘type’ you’re attracted to isn’t what is truly best for you. When you choose a partner opposite of what is familiar, that is truly good to you: but you are constantly turned off by their kindness, and turned on by the prospect of emotional injury. Programming is often so cruel.
I think a good take away from this article is to not look for someone who is perfect, but rather someone who can continuously make you happy, and to understand why they do so. To not think in terms of “this person meets everyone one of my qualifications”, but rather “this person makes things worth it, because they (insert reason)”. A observation that usually isn’t as obvious as it should be.
“Such rightness sometimes feels foreign and unearned” My current partner completely understands, accepts, and loves me despite me being inadequate and I have to admit that it perplexes me to the point that I sabotage my own happiness because it feels a little too right. But I’m doing my best to rid of this thought and grow emotionally mature for us. <3
The hardest but most rewarding achievement is to be happy and content with our own company. Most of us are uncomfortable in our own company and, yet, we expect others to embrace us as we are. Got to learn to accept ourselves first before we can truly accept others. Nobody needs ‘fixing’ – but acceptance and understanding. However, that begins with ourselves. When we are comfortable with ourselves we also learn to value our solitude.