To maintain relational quality, shared activities must be mutually enjoyable and not necessarily indicative of relationship failure. Mismatched interests do not necessarily signal relational failure, as you can authentically admire a partner’s passions without necessarily sharing all of them. You do not have to be interested in the same hobbies but should be respectful and lend a listening ear when they want to discuss their passions. If you don’t share exact hobbies with your partner, it’s okay, but if you can’t appreciate the value of each other’s hobby, that’s okay.
If a couple is not emotionally or physically attracted to one another, or if one or both have intimacy issues, partners can use hobbies and various interests to distance themselves. Recognizing your partner’s signs when they are reaching out to you, such as asking for help or putting things into perspective, can help build connection and maintain your sense of self. Exploring something your partner is interested in can place you on more common ground and deepen your bond.
By incorporating these 10 effective strategies, you can ensure that your partner remains interested in you and that your interests are shared. Everyone should have a hobby, and everyone should be able to show off their hobby on occasion or at least have appreciation shown. Mismatched interests do not necessarily signal relational failure, and it’s okay to be happy to do something with your spouse because they enjoy it and you just enjoy being with them. Just make sure it is fair and be genuine. Showing interest in others can’t be faked, and your date will pick up on it.
In summary, maintaining interest in a relationship requires mutual enjoyment, respect, and genuine interest in each other’s hobbies. By incorporating these strategies, you can ensure that your partner remains interested in you and that your interests are shared and appreciated.
📹 Manipulative People Who Pretend to Be Nice, Always Show These 6 Behaviors
Manipulative People Who Pretend to Be Nice Show These 6 Behaviors These set of people are wonderful, and I call them …
Is it selfish to want alone time in a relationship?
The desire for alone time may seem selfish, but most couples can benefit from spending time on their interests and hobbies. While it’s not a favor to give your partner alone time, it’s okay to express your need. A free consultation can help couples reconnect with their purpose, passion, or loved ones. The amount of alone time is normal for each couple, as they may prefer not to be attached at the hip or glorified roommates. Finding a balance in attachment styles can help both partners feel more fulfilled in their relationship and as individuals.
How to show interest in your partner’s hobbies?
In order to foster a sense of appreciation and value within the relationship, it is recommended to inquire about one’s partner’s hobbies, passions, and interests. Effective communication is a fundamental aspect of a thriving relationship. By demonstrating a willingness to actively listen to your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and concerns, you can foster a sense of trust and intimacy. Furthermore, articulating one’s thoughts and feelings with sincerity and transparency can facilitate a more profound comprehension of one another.
Should you take interest in your partner’s interests?
Maintaining connection in a marriage requires showing care for your spouse’s interests. Dr. John Gottman emphasizes that the key is not what you do together, but how you interact while doing it. Showing respect and support for your spouse’s hobbies can prevent resentment and foster a stronger relationship. The ratio of positive to negative interactions is a stronger predictor of compatibility than shared interests. Engaging in activities together should be positive and uplifting, strengthening your connection and intimacy.
Stephanie Coontz, a historian, emphasizes the importance of being interested in your partner and experiencing joy in their joy. Embracing your differences and supporting your spouse is crucial for a healthy marriage.
Can a relationship last if you have different interests?
Couples with different interests can still have a successful and long-lasting relationship by mastering how they connect and making moments meaningful. To do this, both partners should engage in fun activities that they both enjoy together. While physical intimacy and sex are important, it’s important to think broader and consider activities that are enjoyable for both partners. This will help create a more enjoyable and fulfilling relationship.
Is it important to like the same things as your partner?
Society’s belief that having similar interests is enough for a successful long-term relationship is not accurate. In reality, having similar values and ethics is crucial for a successful relationship. Value systems, such as moral code, moral code, and respect for differences, are essential for understanding each other. Respect for each other’s differences is also crucial. For example, a spiritually minded couple might not belittle each other’s interests if they don’t align with each other.
Having different passions doesn’t mean spending time doing them apart either. For example, Lana and her ex engaged in “alone time together”, where they read their books and practiced their hobbies together. This allowed them to maintain their connection while also allowing them to spend time together.
Is it okay to lose interest in your partner?
Having moments of love and doubt in a relationship is normal, but it can be painful to experience stillness that leaves you feeling lost or uncertain about its future. If you lose feelings, it’s important to decide whether to stay in the relationship or find something else. It’s crucial to weigh the pros and cons of staying together and consider the future if you decide to end the relationship. By doing so, you can make an informed decision about whether to continue or end the relationship.
What to say when a guy asks what are your hobbies?
When asked about hobbies and interests in Hong Kong, hiring managers or recruiters aim to provide insights into skills and capacities that common interview questions may not reveal. Examples include cooking, sports, dancing, painting, drawing, traveling, gaming, yoga, Pilates, and going to museums. This question also helps determine the cultural fit for an organization, as it helps to identify potential strengths and weaknesses.
Is it healthy to have your own hobbies in a relationship?
Relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein emphasizes the importance of independence in a couple’s success. While it’s natural for a couple to spend a lot of time together, maintaining their own interests and hobbies can make for a healthier relationship. While sharing hobbies, such as exercise or artistic pursuits, is enjoyable, maintaining personal hobbies and interests is just as important as spending time with your spouse.
Maintaining independent hobbies and interests can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship, as it allows for a more balanced and enjoyable life. In summary, maintaining independence and personal interests in a marriage can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.
Can a relationship work if you don t have the same interests?
Having different interests doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. It’s an opportunity for growth and exploration. Couples with different interests can still have a successful and long-lasting relationship. Mastering how you connect and making moments meaningful is key. Do something fun together, even if each has their own hobbies and interests. Consider activities that both enjoy together, such as physical intimacy and sex. While physical intimacy and sex are important, think broader and consider activities that are enjoyable for both partners.
Should your partner have the same hobbies as you?
The presence of diverse opinions and interests within a romantic partnership can serve to reinforce the bond of love, foster a deeper appreciation for the unique qualities of one’s partner, and cultivate a more open-minded perspective. Nevertheless, the absence of shared interests between partners does not inevitably lead to the dissolution of the relationship. Instead, it can facilitate the identification of common ground, encourage mutual adaptation, and reinforce the relationship.
Is it OK to want to be alone in a relationship?
In a relationship, it’s normal to want time alone, as it’s essential for personal growth and self-care. Spending time alone can be a way to relax, work on hobbies or interests, or do self-care. It’s also okay to meet family or friends without your partner present, as other relationships also require your time. If you’re worried about how much time your partner is spending apart from you, talk to them about it. They may not realize that the time apart is concerning to you, and by talking it over, you can find a balance between time spent together and time spent alone.
📹 Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election
Our morning show’s political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single …
Oh they absolutely love to play the victim, they’ll tell everyone that will listen what you done to them, but they won’t tell people about what they done in the first place to make you react that way and boy do they like to slag people off behind their backs, but they’ll be as nice as pie to their face! The kicker is that so many people get taken in by their bs, when all they deserve is a massive slap upside their head!
7. Gaslighting “I haven’t said/promised that.” “You did say so.” “I have said otherwise.” (although they haven’t) “I don’t remember.” “You remember wrongly.” “You are too sensitive.” (when calling them out for their abuse) “Stop playing the victim.” (esp. when being confronted with their own obnoxious behavior) “You are being ridiculous.” (when addressing a serious issue) “Everybody knows that you are stupid/silly/insane/whatever.” “Not my fault.” “It’s your fault.” “That has never happened.” “Stop blaming me for your problems/issues/mistakes!” (They do know that they have blundered, but they cannot admit that!) “You are making this up.” (although you definitely aren’t) “You must have misplaced that.” (after they have deliberately placed said item somewhere else) “Told you!” (when they definitely haven’t) “Stop twisting the words in my mouth!” (when, in fact, they are the ones doing it) “You don’t know what you are talking about.” (esp. when you are calling bullcrap on them) “You deserve it.” (after yet another round of abuse) etc. pp. This is one of their favorite (if not the favorite) tactics to keep you in a constantly confused state so that you are eventually questioning your own perception, which makes it particularly insidious. This is used to level the ground for further, more destructive abuse, because once you are completely unsure about what’s really going on, you have a hard time spotting their evil machinations. This one is particularly devastating as it can cause serious damage to your cognitive functions.
If you really read into it, I feel like these are the secret plot points to many rom/coms over the last 20 years where the guy is trying to pursue the girl or vice versa. So as people watch these things, their subconscious mind picks it up and they in turn start to think this is how people engage with each other so it must be normal. Since these 6 behaviours are always in a narcissistic person’s arsenal, it makes me really wonder if the narcissistic person had such a poor family life growing up that they turned to T.V for guidance and ended up unintentionally learning how to effectively manipulate people. Just my 2 cents.
Gossipers, friends or family Never open up to them, they feed off of drama Even if you don’t like the person they are talking about do not commiserate or agree,as they hey are not your friend. Resist the urge to flap your tongue with them,walk away, go do something else, and bless them. Don’t hate them, but don’t likewise trust, confude in them or try to make them your friend. Hating leads to obsessive thinking about the hated one and you really don’t want them taking up too much space in your thoughts.
They also excuse their shitty behavior as being a “prank” or a “joke” when in reality it’s extremely far from it. They will say you’re being sensitive, even go as far as saying they’re “looking out for you” in some situations, they won’t let you get away from any past situations that you’ve grown up from or moved on from, slander your name and those that you are close to trying to cause a rift between you, and if they know you, are stalking you or used to know you, any little thing they can blab about you or exploit because they think you’re insecure about it, they will. That doesn’t sound like a prank or a joke to me, it’s malicious manipulation and someone who is trying to cause major damage in your life. They could have everyone on earth fooled, just don’t let them fool you.
Great job getting this info out there so people and defend themselves from these devils. In philosophy, egoism posits that all behaviors are motivated by self-interest. It suggests that everything we do or say is intended to benefit ourselves. When such behavior goes to the extreme and manifests as deceitfulness, that’s when we need to run away from manipulators as fast as we can and never look back in our own best interest.
I had some experiments. That’s a classmate in high school. At the very first time, she showed how mature, reliable and kind she was, yah and i appreciated and cherished her so much. Story began when we were getting closer, she talked about my weakness in front of people. I told her she could make suggestions, but she didn’t. Take advantage of me 🙂 yolo and still call me best friend 🙂 huh?
It’s possible!… But people can have the same interests … and love the same music, etc … they want to share … find their loved one … build a good … real relationship … just listen to your heart and do not let yourself be fooled and feel guilty. Hope to meet right and nice people. Thank you for your work! Good luck! 😊💕👌
Most manipulative and toxic persons can appear very nice especially in the beginning of the relationship and that makes it more complicated to see the red flags because we don’t want to believe that these “nice” people are not what they pretend they are even when it is claire that they have abusive behaviours that are harmful to us. Those I met were very kind to me but only when I do or behave the way they wanted but they abuse me the very first moment I was not doing what they want anymore that is when I discovered that their love were conditional. I think one Clair sign of a toxic person is a “two face”. Someone who shows a particular behaviour at first to make you at ease but change personality in other occasion.
I’m currently experiencing this with a friend and, unfortunately, music partner. To anyone going thru this; I’m sorry. And I know how much it hurts to realize this about someone you thought was in your closest circle, but you need to get them out. Easier said than done, as I haven’t even pulled the trigger on this yet, but just know I’m in your corner when you do it.
Seems like the story of my life.Unfortunately I grew up in a household with a mother who was manipulative,made bad choices in friendships and extremely stubborn .Her friends were a motley crew and when u see this growing up,u have a short view of whose good and who isnt.At my state of life,Iam trying to gather decent people around me,which isnt a easy task.I also had to cut many toxic folk out off my life,including relatives.Once you decide not to tolerate being a doormat anymore,get the help u need from non biased therapuetic arenas to build up yourself.We arent made to be alone,but its better to be alone with options vs with others who are not good for us
I’m currently dealing with a psychologist or counselor who shows mental issues of narcissism online and she’s not helping anybody out. In fact she’s making things much worse and putting all the trouble’s against multiple people who are also perusal her harassment against & causing situations to occur against innocent people and then they’re trying hard to pin it(psychological crimes being done against their targeted victims) & trying to use it against others and could possibly be recording a false statement by criminaly profiling against those they hate for their political issues that they find it hard & can’t reason with anyone. I keep reporting her but the problem here is that they keep ignoring the reports and not doing anything about it. I think it’s about high time to actually do something about these platforms that have revolutionized the computer world in heavy trafficked politics or either start charging for DATA/services they use against their opponents that they hack into.
I liked this, I subbed. I’m a victim of a dysfunctional violent narcissistic family. They tried to make me feel guilty about feeling awful just being in their presence. I left home at 17. I really should of disappeared and legally changed my last name at legal age. I got nothing but a fucking nightmare from being born into their bullshit!!
Isn’t everyone manipulative but doing it either directly or indirectly? Being “nice” is a behavior that has endured because building trust is a good way of manipulating someone to do what you want. It doesn’t sound socially correct but everything we do has a purpose of trying to manipulate the environment to our advantage whether that be in the short term or long term.
I did get accused of acting like a victim alot. I told a friend about things that have happened to me in my life where I really believe I was in those situations. I also am guilty of telling a friend things people said behind his back but I do not believe my intentions were bad. I did have a bad experience trusting certain people and got burned and did not want the same thing to happen to my friend but I guess sometimes you have to let people figure it out on their own. I will definitely no longer do that.
I think it’s so important to note that we can all portray some of these characteristics some of the time. It worries me how easy labels are being banded around these days. We are all human. The most important thing for me, is to see how people react to criticism and whether people are willing to work on themselves. That’s a sign of a decent human being to me. It seems like so many people want to be accepted, flaws and all, but if someone else displays any “red flag” behaviour then OH MY GOD – THEY ARE TOXIC and a NARC. It’s ridiculous. No wonder so many people have shit relationships these days. The difference between real prolonged manipulative abuse and being a bit of a dickhead human being at times is huge. It really takes away from people who have suffered extreme abuse. Just like everyone has anxiety and depression these days. I highly beg to differ.
It’s really sad because I got accused of being a narcissist, but perusal this article the woman I love that just left me a week ago displayed 4 of these behaviors. Showered me with love and gifts from the jump (even though she was and is still married) she is separated, but for the first year and a half of knowing her she still lived with her ex and kids. This forced me to hold back a lot from her. She would guilt trip me because I was respectful about the marriage and I didn’t trust her 100%. Eventually this turned into her telling me about what her friends opinions of me (even though I never met them) so their opinions were based on the smack she’d talk about me. Lol, the irony. I’ve always believed that your relationship with someone should be between you and that person. I don’t need to poison my mind with others opinions. I want my decisions to be based on my information only. It’s sad because when I brought this up and told her that those were my values she would say that I hide my relationship with her from others… not true, it’s basically one of their business. My old school values don’t belong in this new world. Out of the 2 years and 4 months I knew her and talked to her, she lived with her ex for 1 1/2 years (still cook and clean for him) and somehow our slow progression was my fault? What?! She ended it. I’m done too, it hurts, but it’s time to move on.
💥💥💥 Dear Author. I absolutely know this type of persona. I do not label them “narcissist”. And it is extremely hard to label them. In Your opinion? Basically, they are just #manipulative ?! To me, it’s such a mosaic of all the traits mentioned in this article, and/but — all of these traits together are terrific techniques to drive another person to their most horrible behavior. 💥💥 SO, WHO ATE THESE PEOPLE?! -sociopaths?! …no… -narcissist,! …no… -manipulators?! …yes… AND still. I am so completely overwhelmed that we can not identify them. “Oh, I dated such a bad, manipulative guy”. But, the deepness of their cruelty is impossible to retell to another. 💥 Does anyone have any feedback, please? I have been studying this person for the past 15 years. What I miss is the label.
My ex would always blame others/his boss, friends, everything. But for me, he did the love-bombing very quick rushed me into a relationship. Would “try to help me”. He would force me to take Plan B even thought he knew I was on birth control. Hed say he had the same mental issues as me and would say “oh I have OCD too” when giving me advice. He left and told me he falls before he thinks! Unreal
🤯JUST SHRUGGED !!! “they p.r.e.t.e.n.d. to” like the things that you like… (excuse the paraphrasing), my hands are shaking. FIFTEEN YEARS OF THIS, and 2 days ago, this person said: YOU ARE SO UNGRATEFUL! I did everything that you liked. I tried. AND YOU NEVER APPRECIATED IT.” He went on and on for such a long time that I was put in the corner of this diisgust. How to turn it around on them?!
Literally my neighbor. So nice at first, trying to be my best friend. But her true colors bled through. She doesn’t respect my need for space (I’m an introvert) and she constantly tries to take advantage of me and asks for favors non stop. I just recently stood up to her and set my boundaries. Surprise, surprise, she’s hurt/angry now and playing the victim. I told her I needed space and within 2 days she’s trying to get me to “meet up for coffee” with some random excuse, in reality she wants to give me her rebuttal and excuses to disregard all the boundaries I set. I told her I wasn’t up for that little meeting, and she told me that SHE wasn’t happy with where we were, so “the ball was in my court.” Uhm….. yeah. It is. And I told you my stance- back off, stop taking advantage of me and disrespecting me, and GIVE ME SPACE. She clearly doesn’t care about what I want, since I just told her I needed space and she’s already trying to worm her way back in and give me her “side of things.” 🙄
It’s hard dealing with someone who doesn’t want to admit they have some of these traits and tendencies…i have some but I work hard on myself…im very nurturing to myself…and give myself affirmations…but because I work on myself…i see them in others quickly and I get away from them because they will trigger mine…they think I’m rejecting them…but I’m making sure I don’t condone or (whats the word for this) I cant think of it…but I dont play games with this type of behavior…at all…period.
I have realised in particular with number 4, the guilt trip, when a controlling person says they want to help you, really what they are doing is they are creating a scenario where they want to engage you in a toxic co dependent relationship, whereby they use guilt and emotional blackmail to create a situation where they act out the superior benevolent role to begin, then once they consider you are indebted to them, then they start to pull the strings, and you realise it’s nothing to do with them helping you, or any equally agreed beneficial arrangement, it’s instead all about them, and how far they can string you along, using your debt you owe them, and an endless string of favours they expect in return, ad infinitum, all while treating you like a piece of shit in the process. Ditch the mofos! Or at least carefully explain your side of the bargain doesn’t work with their terms, and then take a very long break. ✌
Omg it’s my neighbour. He was arrested 4 months ago. I went out to lunch with him. He bought my daughter animals! He helped me in my house because I was alone and needed help. Then just sometimes he was weird..He would stroke my hair or pass a comment on my hair “let it down ” 3 months later he was arrested and charged with indecent images of a child. The police took everything. 2 days later he’s back on our street laughing and joking. He follows me up the road laughing!!! And it’s people like me and my family who get into trouble cause their is no fucking law in this country
I have a co worker who fits this description literally. Now, I try my best to be more professional towards her and put bounderies on our former friendship. She made me a monster to everyone I knew in the office. It was really terrible being her so-called friend. All the while, she was killing my reputation without my knowledge. Praying for her conversion 🙏🏻
Yes, Kept insisting he loved me. Made all these grandiose gestures in public for everyone to see how wonderful and generous and thoughtful he was. But in private, to me, he was petty and controlling. I opened some new bank accounts, he found out, and had the bank cancel and shut down my accounts! Then i tried to start a new online club with friends, he didn’t like the friends i wanted, and he punished me by telling the admins to shut down my club because he didn’t want to “share” me, claiming that i was somehow in the wrong when i didn’t do anything! Terrible terrible boyfriend!
This is a great article, thanks a lot for making it. I have fallen a victim of such a person for 10 years. He’s always lying, cheating and blames me for his actions, because I call him a liar. He started manipulating his friends, family and even to the point of dating my friends daughter and still denying it. He turned all these people against me. He’s married but he will be talking to all his exs and about 10 different women around the clock. He feels threatened by me because am the only person on this planet that knows him deep down. I’ll block him and he will show up at my door and start love bombing. I finally made up my mind not to block him but not to pick his calls or answer his texts. He finally dropped me a text asking me for a favour and I answered “sorry but I can’t” and I haven’t heard from him ever since (for a while). It is the most evil and toxic place I’ve ever been in my life for ten good years. He always wants me to prove his acts, otherwise they are false accusations but I know that he will never change. The difficult part is that the other women buy into his manipulation. It takes time but you can also heal.
This is amazing.. I am literally living this.. fell on tough times “friend” offered me her couch.. little did I know this was all a setup to try to make me her boyfriend.. lifes been hell due to the fact that I dont “cooperate”🤦🏾♂️ constant questions of where am I going?, why dont I give her attention? And stupid shit like always asking if I know where her misplaced items are knowing dam well I’m not home enough and have no clue. Any interaction they can get… fucking nightmare.
I notice this girl name Lizzie on youtube her fans was giving her compliments till she said she was dating a guy that was in her article. They start making rude comments, it was truly disgusting she had to disable her comments. Their true colors came out, they never liked her. Im female and I was happy for her. Women are great pretenders its scary.
Narcissist in-laws has made my marriage difficult i have no way other than leaving the marriage becuz it is never ending they never take responsibilty of their action and blame eveything on me direcrly or indirectly to a point of suicidal thought.i just want happiness and be free from thi toxic people
Don’t invest what you’re not prepared to lose. So don’t be so quick to invest yourself in someone’s interest in you. In the course of conversations, people reveal their weaknesses all the time and wonder how someone got the best of them. Remember, you have the power to stop things like this from occurring.
A good way to know if someone actually cares is when you’re actually upset and you tell them. If they seem to do nothing, then they don’t really care. If they are there and listen then they care, if they try cheer you up, then they care. If they actually aim to make you happy constantly then they care. Think about their behaviours towards you and around others, do they put you down in front of others or do they make you feel good or look good, when you’re not there or others are not there do they always say negative stuff about people, do they say how people are great when they’re not there, talk about them in a positive light? Just think about if they seem too be kind consistently, or if they just talk about it, are they raising people up and being positive, or doing what is right? Do they give good rationalisations for their behaviours? Are they thoughtful, do nice things for you, as in think about what you would like and do it, not just what gains them something? Do they go out of their way for you? Do they only talk about your problems, but never their problems, and what they need to do to be a better person to people or a better person in general? Or how they can improve the state of the world? Do they seem to care about more than themselves? Basically simply ask are they improving the quality of your life? If the answer is yes, then keep spending time with them, if no, then consider distancing yourself from them, or if they seem to have no real friends be nice and see if you can influence them too be a nicer person and get on better with others, and then others around them in the future will have a better quality of life too.
Yes love bombing victim mentality you want them to call you out so you can change but don’t you call them out they can only do it to you they get angry and want to give constructive criticism but they won’t receive it as crestons wife I have some one like that that’s not an active part in my life and that’s why that person I talk with them but only on messenger but if they keep doing it I will not contact them until they are ready to see it’s both of us. It takes two to tango.
I’ve just discovered my mum and dad are manipulators unfortunately. Made up lies about me and my wife and destroyed my relationship with my siblings and then totally blamed it all on me. I thought I was going crazy until someone pointed out to me that they were telling lies about them as well. I’ve had to distance myself and maybe forever unfortunately
I had a toxic former friend act like I was trying to guilt her when all I did was express that I felt lonely because I have no parents or family anymore and she thought I was trying to manipulate her Into feeling bad. No I was speaking to the truth of my reality and if you can’t do that around people avoid them.
There are traditions around the world regarding gift giving, that relate to establishing good relations with the people you meet. When someone has a baby, gets married, moves into a new house, we give a gift from their baby shower registry, or bridal registy, or a housewarming present. We gift to celebrate someone’s promotion or the day of their birth. We gift because we have more than we need of things (here, take some oranges). We gift out of appreciation for others as well. It used to be that students would take the teacher an apple… There is also a level of positive attention that life deserves. If we look at our circumstances in a negative light, we will constantly be miserable. It is best to see things for their positives. The same applies to people. Since the dawn of time people have tried to influence others. There is a saying that you get more with sugar than salt, or you catch more flies with honey than vinegar… these relate to a basic principle of Karma that what you put out is what comes back to you. So when someone “love-bombs”, it might be they are interested in a favor, or just in setting a positive tone to the relationship they hope to have with you. It is not always a bad thing. It is probably more true that there is not enough love bombing. Everyone should do it more (expecting nothing in return, other than decency, of course). Playing the victim is often a sign of a person who is desperate and doesn’t know how to get out of ther predicament. The chance that the predicament they feel compelled to get out of, is getting you to do their bidding is extremely low.
For those this resonates with, and would like to participate in my survey, it is attached. Hi everyone, my research project has been approved by the ethics committee so here is my survey. Did your ex-partner expect constant admiration? Was he/she self-centred and/or arrogant? Did he/she lack empathy and consideration for other people? These are some characteristics of narcissists. If you believe your ex-partner may have been a narcissist, you live in Australia and are 18 years or older, we invite you to participate in our study. Mental Health Consequences To Romantic Partners Of Narcissists Narcissistic abuse has been associated with depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress. It has also been suggested it may be linked to trauma bonding, where intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment leads to strong emotional bonds, that are resistant to change. However, very little scientific research has examined this, with none found in an Australian population. This study will investigate the relationships between mental health, trauma bonding, resilience and narcissistic abuse in ex-partners of narcissists. The outcome of this study may increase health professionals understanding of narcissistic abuse and its consequences and, may be beneficial in the future creation of interventions for those that have suffered narcissistic abuse. If you are living in Australia, 18 years or over and believe you have previously been in a relationship with a narcissist, and would like to participate in this research, please click on the following link: rmit.
My. Whole. Life. Has. Been. Through. This.. People. Are. Usually. Not. What. They. Say. They. Are.. But. God. Never. Changes. I. Have. Let. Go. Of. Many. Many. Friends.. This. Is. What. I. Have. Learned. The. Hard. Way.. There. Are. Givers. Those. Who. Genuinely. Care. About. You. And. Treat. You. Like. Family.. And. There. Are. Takers. Who. Lie. And. Deceive. And. Manipulate. And. Control. And. Use. And. Abuse. And. Loose. You.. And. They. Dont. Care. About. You.. It. Is. Best. To. Fully. Lean. On. God. For. Your. Guidance..and. Love. First. You. Can. Trust. God..especially. When. People. Fail. You..
The worst ones pull the religious card. I had a friend try to pull God likes when you help other people. True but there is also a thing called enabling a drug addict. I don’t talk to him anymore he is not a freind. He is just a user. I called him out on it and he didn’t like it. We haven’t spoken since and I am happier.
In my opinion a lot of people (me inclusive) have some or all of these traits but the extremes or not knowing limits is when it’s good enough to classify them as MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIORS. Learn to identify those extremes (too much/too little). – Every one is a victim of something. Some are true victims and those playing victim know very well they did wrong, refuse to take accountability, leave out their part or lie about the situation by twisting it around or saying things for you to dislike the other person or for your perception about them to change. – Everyone gossips about something or someone. Everyone minds someone’s business but keep your opinions to yourself about their business. Gossip all u want but don’t make up lies, or share very personal/sensitive stuff about people to certain people – Love bombing is so unnecessary, just be honest and intentional about what u want or need with no exploitative intentions just to benefit u. Also helping people then spreading to the whole world about it especially in a way that makes them look like a beggar or a way that seems like without you nothing good will come. You don’t need to help, pretend or be fake. – Using weaknesses…depending on what a weakness is to each person most people have said something mean to or about someone that may have been a joke or intentional, its wrong but if out of spite you need to use a weakness, don’t go to the very sensitive ones. – We’ve all had people in our lives we thought we liked similar things but found out it’s a lie.
It’s weird how I do all of these stuff halfway, is it weird that I related to this on point?? Like, can u be a manipulator and not know you are one?? Cuz man, this article has messed up my insides.. For real I don’t mean any harm🙂 1. I don’t play the victim card, but now I think how people might think I do. 2. I super love bomb people, but it’s only to show how much they mean to me, and not to everyone, only to those close to me.. but yeah k rly do this alot. 3. I’m always up to help anyone, but yeah in the process it does make me understand their weakness, and make for a very good friend. Could I have been using people unconsciously?? 4. I can be pretty pursuasive, but in the articles it’s termed as “make you do things” gosh.. guilt trip? I’ve never seen myself this way. 5. Yes.. I tend to make strong bonds with people by relating to them, almost every single time I am able find some common interests that we build upon. Dammit🙂 6. I don’t gossip, (or atleast I’ve believed I don’t) but if I hear your friend saying things about you behind your back, I will and do tell you about it, isn’t it morally right? Or is it again me manipulating ???
My on/off ex abuses substances and recently relapse….currently holding a job, invites me then claim I’m harassing her. She moved out without explaining. It’s a store….coffee and a smile is all I get, then whispers to coworkers. Just 3 days after coming to my home. Strangers happened to notice our exchange and confirm she off. I enjoyed my coffee and rode away.
To the LONE WOLVES out there: Wolves are highly social animals that live in packs, but not all wolves stay with the same pack their entire lives. This, however, doesn’t mean they prefer to be alone. Young adult wolves who end up leaving the pack they were born into usually do so to form a pack of their own. That’s a big difference here – lone wolves don’t leave because they want to stay alone, they leave in order to find a mate, their own territory, and form their own pack. These “lone wolves” are actually called “Dispersers.” They play an important role for wolves as a whole: they’re the ones who keep wolves healthy by bringing new genes into the mix with different family groups. They also bring the wolf population into new areas. As they leave their home territory and head out in search of new surroundings and a mate, it allows them to settle in new, unoccupied space. They may travel hundreds of miles to find their new territory. So really, a “lone wolf” isn’t one who wants to be alone because they don’t like being around others. They’re a wolf who elects to be alone temporarily as they try to find a mate and find a place to have a family. They are the key to the genetic survival of the species. Not quite so scary after all, are they? Like with many things about wolves, the idea seems to come from a misunderstanding of what wolves actually do.
Nope, I am just generally nice. People are not toys to use they are children of God. Many say I am too nice. Apart from being nice I do struggle sometimes with people pleasing but I had abusive parents. If I didn’t people please I’d still be kind but also uphold my boundaries and be more assertive but still be kind-hearted. I thank God I do not do 1-5 and am incredibly self-aware
It sounds like people who are nice in order to get their needs met/feel entitled to someone else’s time and energy for being nice. Have to set boundaries and be clear about expectations in that regard. Some people are nice but don’t take it personally if the energy is not matched. It’s case by case tho. I have a lot of interests and like to read so sometimes I get excited when I come across something that I think someone would like and can share a lot of info—it’s not from a place of trying to “love bomb”. I’ve had to often times preface by saying, I got really excited and came across this and thought you would also enjoy! I’ve had to learn it takes time to get to know people before I do that tho, ahaha, so I’ve refined my approach, those that know me accept the info and we can have really good convos about it and connect, but I share with no expectations.
I really don’t understand people. I’ve always tried to be nice but, always people are just about money what they can get off of you and that’s why I have no friends at 37 years old. No girlfriends nothing because it always has to deal with what they can get from you. And, I don’t have money so I’m useless to anyone I come across. Werid….
Some people are very covert and clever how they do this You cannot pin them down For instance, to a date and time. Every little thing is at their convenience, not yours. You must be flexible and accommodating. You do this because you’re an empath. You care about people. You care about helping them, loving them, and fixing them. Here’s the thing. You cannot. Let them go.
Sounds like my daughters boyfriend! Yet no one’s noticed but me! Maybe because I’ve been through so much in my life for foster care orphanage homes Street on the on the street so I learn to see through these people especially when they’re only 17 or 18 but I don’t know what to do to played against him to get him out of my kids life!!! Except to wanna be EVIL!?
My first boyfriend never treated me this way. He never abused me, humiliated me, etc but he cheated. Now my current boyfriend who loved me so much and i thought he’s better than my first. But guess what he is the first person who disrespect me…. he did abused me, humiliated me in public, very jealous, always blame me for everything and now i feel like he changed me.. The way i think to myself that i am not worthy, and i have this social anxiety i don’t know how to talk with people anymore or me being friendly has gone. I never got the time to hang out with friends.. He always wants me to be there with him 24/7.. He always had this doubt that i could cheat on him. He even get jealous to all of his friends.. I became so depressed… I never expected that he made me like this… And everytime i get mad because of his doing he always uses the card of “that’s how much i love you. Be grateful because no one can love you as much as i do”….. Anyway, we’re in a complicated situations right now .. We never talked in a week. I don’t know if i found a guy who’s worst than i expected.
That person can be anybody in your family! A Mother, a Father, a Sister, a Brother, could even be a next door neighbor. What I hate is being accused of selective hearing. Today, I was playing my keyboard, and I didn’t hear my Mother calling me from the laundry room. When she came into the bedroom, she said frustratedly, “I’ve been calling you. Did you not hear me or were you just ignoring me? Later at lunch, the subject was brought up again, and she said I have selective hearing! She’s no doctor! I didn’t hear her. I was just focusing on my music and recording. My bedroom door was closed so how could I hear unless I was doing nothing?
Hate to burse bubbles “Human behaviors are normal this way we must stop using Behavior Theories of right and wrong and why me? So what we all manipulate people who can do more than just favors. Luckily, since 1963 by the best Theory written by alot of Medical Authors and Practioners, it’s a Human Behavior, stop making people more nervous into future who are nice, who do not do or ask for behavior, some of us are natural born givers not Enablers, that suffer at the hands of anyone who read this Garbage that hurt normal nice people, stop contraindications of past psychology invent how to move on without old developments in articles that never get resolved, it only produces more negative regular human traits we all test each others, even children do the same on the conditions what we teach them.
These are so true. I met someone like this. A gradiosity narcissist. They tend to hurt you, and break you down. Then pretend they want to be the “friends.’ What a joke! Not being a fool twice. I won’t play fire with fire again. Pretend to be “nice.” Like I will play that game again. She and he ( narcissists) got furious after I told them both to go to hell, The women was really furious when I told her I don’t believe the crock story she told me. And not trust her. She was really something. She was more the lunatic one than him. That was how pure evil they are. Get an innocent minor involved. They both wish my son and I something bad had happens to us.
My roommate has back stabbed nearly every friend or spouse he’s ever had. His family doesn’t really speak to him, he’s a textbook narcissist and very bad alcoholic. But bc he’s not physically threatening to any half healthy man, he uses very sneaky manipulation tactics to men who are close to him. Constantly presents offers or proposals then when it’s time for him to uphold his end of his own proposal, he completely drops it, avoids the entire scenario he orchestrated; and places any blame to be had on everyone but himself. And unfortunately now I’m reliant on him and it’s killing me slowly.
My husband is older than me and his daughter from his previous marriage. His daughter is 20 and im 30 and just had my first baby with my husband. Ive tried my best but his adult daughter is an absolute trouble maker and is very disingenuous as a person. Shes very manipulitive, at first i did a lot for her even though shes an adult, she seems to think shes a little girl still. Every conversation she has is her being a victim or her gossiping. I have no intrest in her little girl drama, shes tried to split me and my husband up. I couldnt imagine being as immature as her at 20. Now because weve told her she needs to get her own apartment to live in shes deliberately sabotaged her job so shes a helpless victim again. Ive worked hard in life to get where i got and shes the opposite, shed rather leach off others by playing the victim. Its irritating that she isnt down to earth, every conversation feels like shes constantly lying. Plus she steals things so having her in the house makes me paranoid, shes even displayed childish jealousy over us having a baby. Urg wish shed just grow up, get real and sort her bs out. She never has friends because if her lying etc.
So true. For 1 year, i was cheated by a lady in USA whom i trusted since she had 30+ years experience and studies computer science like me. Over time, i understand now how she used be for her benefit. She knew what i wanted and ensured i did not get it. She taught me the value of time, yet stole my time and my works. If she pays me my pending 500$ better for her, else Time and legal cases can make her pay me 25000$ for the services i did as per market value. Thankfully, i am not working for her anymore.
I searched for ‘evil Libran’ and this was literally the 4th article. How on Earth could the search function be it so accurate? Theres no tags for either word that I can see. Its not a straight forward process, its more like an advanced AI has conceptually processed the result and not a linearly processed it..
I had someone tell me I fake being nice on stream but I’m probably toxic off stream. But I just met this person so they didn’t really know anything about me. All they knew was I was streaming and was a girl and they said all girls are fake. So honestly I kinda wanted to see if what they were saying had truth to it. Even though I know looking into it would be toxic in and of itself because then I would be playing into how they wanted to make me feel. However, after perusal this article I have determined that what they were saying was false and that I do have ex friends that I know acted this exact way and I’m glad that I’m no longer friends with them.
Once you know that someone is one of these numbers what should be done next, do we pull them up and correct them or do we just avoid them ? The way I see it is it’s hard enough working on yourself and learning the social sciences about human behavior and learning the tools to better craft the personality and character you want for yourself, I honestly think most people arnt even consciously aware of themselves enough to recognize there affect on people’s comfort and feelings, by my observations of other peoples characteristics and behaviors towards me from times I note there behaviors in my mind whilst I’m working on my own character I notice that in my progress of thought and behavior they stay the same and it’s as if the hard work I put into my own personal character development they then just lazily adjust there behaviors or character without having to do there own research or soul searching they thrive and steal, pick and prob by asking questions and making statements which at most time it’s easy to see there only trying to find and justify things to themselves about how or what they think they know, this is why I like being alone, this is I hate when people ask me stupid questions, this is why alone time is so important, so one can reflect on his own centered behavior when alone as to compared to others when socializing or around other people, it can be very training at the end of the day, because consciously your carrying the other people through the day as you lead yourself into personal development and character progression, I constantly feel ripped off and frustrated because people have a way of making you feel like you weren’t able to play out your newly found truth because they lack the integrity to match your development.
5. Many people have similar interests, that doesn’t make them manipulative, however if they constantly say they like things to different people that say they didn’t like to you, then chances are they are just pretending to like that stuff. Easy way to know if someone likes something you like is talk about that which they say they like and see how they respond… if not it’s possible they want to get in good favour with you, it could just be they like you, and have nothing to do with them being manipulative. But more want to get along. Many people tend to say they like stuff they don’t, simply not to upset people. They know people get upset when you don’t like something they do, so they say they like it.
Guys is this manipulative Whenever I would try to talk he would say he wants to die, disappear. He randomly would message me at night saying he’s head is about to explode. He has sent me articles of himself crying and voice notes, this was in the beginning. Where he loved bombed me but when I felt disrespected by his actions he threw the “we’re not official card”
As crestons wife I agree they want you to take responsibility for your actions and I agree she should but she won’t let you hold her accountable for their actions that’s why for now it’s on messenger. I told her you are right I’m going to fast with you on messenger but she just a few months ago asked if she could visit us in our home for just a few minutes. I temporarily said yes and came back to my common sense and said no and she got very angry and upset because I said no. Oh well I can say no if I have not seen change. At least I admit my wrongs and make amends she won’t. Watch the patterns not the words of I’m sorry. So what you are sorry if you don’t see your part but willing to see and admit their part and what they need to change they see only your part but never theirs only the words I’m sorry just because you say it doesn’t mean it. You mean it when you own up to your faults not theirs. I’ve done that I decided I’m gonna back off and see if she’s truly sorry by changing consistently progress not perfection
I know all things because these things are happening to me. I have no backbone so many people are trying to attract me and trying to use as a slave and continually trying the same but they are not able to get this bcz i m self independently strong… Hoping people don’t do with other the same you don’t know there background and his mental or physical strength… They just want to happy but due to these type of behavior you are making them against you and word after that what result will happen you know better
i truly don’t get the point why would anyone like to lovebomb someone else if the whole point of it is saving their own ass, see you either become the villain or become the savior, there is nothing called grey area in this, love bombing friendship bombing is a part of influencing others to your own fears,if you see a little closely anybody who could do actually do anything did it by themselves,they persevered for the sake of persevering and that makes the difference in the total lives because no matter how much so called you are using love or being in love as an excuse to drag others,it gets eventually visible because everybody works different so in the name of help when you are blocking someone obviously the other person’s time is getting elongated and he is getting accused na so thats how you project your fears and insecurities onto others
Every word is so true. I have 2 in our family. My brother in law and his wife. Oh. God. 🥴They copy everything what we do in our home. They bought similar looking house. SUVs sound bar clothing interior decor.gardening decor. Even makeup Line. It drives me crazy. But I feel. Netflix. They copy us and pretend we are copying them 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Proud so at least I am role model to someone.
Imagine this invert This is like gangstalking for example at home they be trying to trigger my form the first floor playing psychological games with to make me angry I know it’s intentional when they Stamp on the floor to make me angry it’s alway during sleep time or when you perusal a movie or something they want to keep me out and that because I been gangstalk and they use people around me to harass and stalk
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That thumbnail describes every YouTuber event, remember YouTubers are not and will never be your friends, so stop looking up to them, and get some real friends that actually care about you, and not some jerk online who only sees you as another number in his or her growing subscription base, that only exists to make the YouTuber more popular so they can earn money of off you.
The second part of this article is also stupid. A lot of people feel overly emotional at first, feel in love, then soon as it looks like it isn’t true they get upset and emotional. That doesn’t make them manipulative. So far this article has the traits of a self centred person in denial that anything they did could have upset someone, and they would rather believe others are manipulative than accept that maybe they could have handled situations better.
I remember I had a friend that borrow money from me and it took her almost a month to pay me $20 back after I got the money back she calls me one day and I say hello as she says oh hold on a second then she comes back on the phone and said I’m sorry I can’t help you I thought she was talking to someone else she said I’m not going to be able to loan you money she’s done this twice I clean cut her ass off I’ve never asked her for one red Cent she was such a manipulator putting words in my mouth that I’ve never said blocked her on social media and all I do not have time for the Mind Games.
God knows when you dont do what others do, especially when they approach so you are the test for them but you are also testing without knowing until your focused is throwed off with a inkling from God that will have them not content with what they made into a game instead of an honest reality in an evil world full of greed for greedy thinking out of something that doesnt have nothing or something
Changing their story to fit the situation. “I don’t remember saying that…..” or, “I think you heard me wrong.” Smirking when you confront them and saying things like, “Are you okay?” or, “You need to calm down.” After putting up for years, I started to have my own cemented responses, which are: “You might not remember, but I clearly do.” or, “My hearing is perfect.” Also…”I’m doing great and I don’t have to calm down, but I appreciate your concern.”
This is my brother in law and I. He’s filed a t.r.o. on me. He hired a lawyer and doesn’t show. Has it moved on the docket for another date. Six times and it’s because I said that he was being untruthful about something that I know very well. I have to go back in 2 weeks. He’s paying the guy to hassle me and the taxpayers are paying the rest. It’s his sport. The judge questioned his lawyer about his seeking protection from someone and not doing the very thing that would keep him safe. Why? It’s his schtick.
From personal experience with my manipulative brother of over 50 years, a word of caution and to state the obvious: they vary their techniques. I’ve called him out for ‘cheap talk’, kind of the same as ‘love bombing’, he then tried something else. But he’ll always go back to his true colours as they’re too entrenched. Thankfully my children independently see through it. But BEWARE of them adapting when you call them out on it.
My significant other is employed bye psychiatrist couple in their own- she talked to them you told me about the conversation and they basically diagnose me as person with adult ADHD! Now she’s starting to use that against me just like she use my PTSD against me. Every once in awhile so cook me dinner buy me some clothes shirts pants. But then turn around and remind me what she did
Dealt with one of the few who try this bull shit on me, fist she wants me to go on a road trip, then to the slots, then how my mother’s ghost talked to her, and nothing I could believe happened bc we’ve known each other since being tweens, unless I’m completely stupid and don’t know anyone in any meaningful way….
I find this article lacking a lot of nuance. We all have feelings of jealousy, sometimes we act more in favour of ourselves than of others (the eternal battle between of a loving connection requiring compromise versus authenticity), we can all identify with playing the victim from time to time, … all these things nowadays are considered spectra: not clearcut pigeonholes. A person is not only manipulative or generous, a person can be narcisisitc in one aspect of his life and be truly empahtic in another. In my opinion it comes down to awarness: we all have traits of one thing or another. The ideas represented in the article above are too simplistic: it seems as if there’s less value in people who have cetrain traits. It’s true that help can be of great benefit. I don’t believe in “judgements”, pigeonholes, identifying a person with some of their (yes annoying) traits (who doesn’t have these?) … a person is a lot more than this …
all i can say is the times when someone told me what another said (negative, false) about me, it was very very very helpful and allowed me to be wary of that person who was spreading false rumors. just sayin. a friend at work told me this coworker was spreading rumors that i was stealing other peoples ideas and writing them in my journal but i was actually writing my own ideas. her telling me this alerted me to the fact that this person and maybe others thought this way, since they never got brainstorms during meetings so therefore could not understand why i would write something in a meeting that was my own idea. but my mind does wander and solves totally unrelated problems (during boring meetings). so, i stopped doing it, and i am sure it helped me.
But wouldn’t the last one, telling someone how someone really feels about them avoid the person from being harmed or controlled by letting them know someones actcually saying bad things about them?like if you’re friends with someone and they’re controlling someone else capitalizing as you say on their weaknesses for their own good wouldn’t it be the best thing to let the other person know?
Dam this is my roommate to a tee. Except when she gets angry she antagonizes her husband to get so upset he becomes physically threatening or my wife and I are given threats that we will be kicked out. Even though we wash the dishes and clean the house literally 90 percent of the time and when she has to do it she slams doors and becomes incredibly passive aggressive and makes everyone’s life a living hell. My life my wife and I are stuck here for now sadly. It’s depressing and we feel trapped. No one Cares enough to help and I don’t want to burden anyone with these problems. Just had to say this to someone before I kill myself.
It’s interesting around the 90s I think to around 2012. Most people didn’t care or know much about politics and the elections. However, from 2016 and after it’s totally a different story. Almost everything is politicized now and even kids talk about it. Families and friends get separated because of it.
The part with the picture is hilarious. His “poll anecdote” is about how he stole some kid’s art being displayed in an elementary school off the wall. Then the male host goes, “You did this yourself?’ Which is exactly what you would say to a child. To which the guest responds, “Yes, I made this one.”
I know this feature is a few years old, but I can’t believe that animals in the US don’t get to vote . I’ve read Animal Farm & clearly animals are more than capable of running a small collective farm for the good of all. I was so impressed with this political theory that I ordered a copy of the film version to show to my children. You can only imagine my utter discuss when this was seized by the UK’s authoritarian customs force & I was arrested !!
Fuck, I mean how often do you see stuff that genuinely makes you laugh out loud until you almost cry from laughter. The Onion does it again and again. I’m perusal this in 2020 and 12 years later it is as funny as ever. It’s almost like these are actually getting funnier as time goes on. Timeless. We could really use new stuff of this quality. Ok nuff said, on to the next article. 😀
As a “card carrying” independent voter (and military veteran), I can attest wholeheartedly to the effectiveness of Dan’s Political Non-Opinions… although I would add my own, a phrase that I’ve found that works wonders, especially when surrounded by extended family at the dinner table, “I don’t give a flying fuck. Save your breath and use your mouth for something useful: eat your damn turkey.” I’m sure you thought I was going to end that with something else in order to provide a really effective send off, but alas no. It is family after all… one must always think of the children – the little fucking rats who already know more about sex than I ever did at that age… *er, uh, I mean, uh*… the little *darlings*… yes, yes… those impressionable youngsters who will inherit America’s future. At any rate, another phrase that might be as effective at such circumstances is, “Out of everyone here, the only one we know for certain who died so we could all vote was the fucking turkey, so give it some respect and shut the fuck up, Grandma.” Ah, reminiscences of past political arguments cut off at the knees… I’m getting misty.
The hilarious part about this to me is that I was a little girl who couldn’t shut up about the election when this article came out… and now as an adult I completely understand the apathy. Caring is exhausting. The thing is, when I was a little girl, I didn’t understand why most people just voted along party lines, and thought that when I was a voter I’d have to do deep dives on all the candidates before making my decision. If the best candidate was the Republican, I’d vote for them… said the child with no idea that the Republican party would devolve into a fascist puppet by the time I was old enough to vote. I have only ever done research for a primary election.
this is possibly one of my favorite onion skits, it completely nails the mentality of a large group of voters in the U.S., all of them uninformed but arrogant. i.e. your typical east/west coast 19 year old you returns for the summer after his first semester at some prestigious liberal arts college, with a mindset to conquer the political and philosophical world.
Worst thing is when people here in Sweden give too much of a shit about American politics, almost to the point of knowing less about Swedish politics. Sometimes i just have to say in the middle of a conversation: “Oh shit, did i accidently commute to the states, people are talking about Trump and Biden instead of Stefan Löfven and Jimmie Åkesson”