Research indicates that only children tend to be closer to their parents and regard them with more warmth and respect than people with siblings. This parent-only child tight bond allows many only children to be alert to and sensitive to their surroundings. However, this relationship can also lead to enmeshment, which can become a problem.
Only children are more likely to minimize their children’s gastrointestinal symptoms than those with at least one sibling. They can also discuss plans for their parents’ elder care ahead of time, ensuring everyone is aware. This relationship is not better or worse than closeness with siblings; it is just different. Only children may exhibit more prosocial behavior due to perceived more positive parenting styles.
Studies show that only children tend to have higher educational and occupational achievements and closer relationships with their parents. However, the common stereotypes that only children are selfish, lonely, and maladjusted do not hold true. Even in two-child families, the bond between parents and children isn’t as strong. Despite the benefits of the parent-only child tight connection, enmeshment can become a problem.
As a parent, it is essential to consider the quality of parents you get. While only children may be more likely to be closer with their parents, the overall impact depends on how good of parents you get.
In conclusion, only children tend to have more close relationships with their parents than siblings, and they tend to be more ambitious, confident, and intelligent. However, the risk of enmeshment can still pose a challenge.
📹 Debunking Stereotypes of Only Children | Stella Forman | TEDxSaintAndrewsSchool
There are numerous stereotypes that come with being an only child; high school student Stella Forman addresses those …
Are single parents closer to their children?
Single parents spend more quality time with their children, developing a strong bond that may not be possible in a two-parent home setting. They often grow up within an authentic community of supporters, including extended family and friends. Some single parents also participate in community groups like churches and support groups, allowing the whole family to interact and support each other.
Are kids happier without siblings?
Children and teenagers may be happier without siblings, as studies have shown that having younger siblings reduces life satisfaction and increases the likelihood of depression among teenagers. However, adult only children enjoy the same happiness and life satisfaction as everyone else, and do not suffer from more depression, anxiety, or neurotic disorders. Children report a more positive relationship with their parents, even better than first-borns, and receive individual attention from parents as an infant. This highlights the importance of maintaining a strong bond with parents in both childhood and adulthood.
Are only children introverts?
The study revealed that close sibling spacing is associated with the development of extraverted and aggressive behaviors in children, whereas wide spacing is linked to the emergence of introverted and less aggressive tendencies. The only children who exhibited the highest levels of introversion also demonstrated the lowest levels of both aggressiveness and extraversion.
What are the psychological effects of being an only child?
Individuals who are the only child in their family are prone to developing feelings of self-hatred and a sense of being deprived of their own identity. This is because they are often required to live their lives in a way that is not aligned with their own needs and desires, as they attempt to navigate the world without the influence of a sibling. The absence of siblings constrains the potential for the development of beneficial relationship skills.
Are childless couples happier than parents?
Research indicates that a “happiness bump” is experienced by parents immediately after a baby is born, which dissipates over a year. After that, happiness levels between parents and non-parents gradually diverge, with non-parents generally growing happier over time. Child-rearing is challenging, and parents’ happiness plummets quickly once they discover the work involved in a new baby, according to Amy Blackstone, a professor of sociology at the University of Maine and author of “Childfree by Choice”.
Do only children have a higher IQ?
The extant research indicates that only children are more intelligent and creative as a consequence of their parents’ resources and time investment, and they are more likely to graduate with advanced degrees.
Do single moms raise better kids?
Single-mother families have significantly lower odds of graduating from high school, obtaining a college degree, and having high earnings in adulthood. Families headed by a single mother are five times more likely to live in poverty than those headed by a married couple. Raising children requires significant resources, including money, time, and emotional energy. Most single mothers start from behind, making them less likely to have a college education or high income. This college gap exists for white, Black, and Latino families, and is more prevalent in higher-educated women.
Are parents happier with only one child?
Research indicates that mothers of one are happier and have an advantage in key development areas. Understanding the right age to have a first child or considering adding another child can help navigate possible options. This section covers topics such as the ideal age to have a baby, how children affect a mother’s income, sibling relationships, and concerns about a child’s development without siblings. Having a wellspring of research and articles can guide you in making informed decisions about family size.
Does only child feel lonely?
Being an only child does not necessarily mean being lonely. It is an experience that everyone goes through as they grow up, whether they have siblings or not. As they leave home, they often run, stumble, and skip down their own life paths alone. In new cities and countries, they are met with kindness and politeness, but often lack genuine welcomingness. Society seems to be becoming increasingly insular and individualistic, leading to dwindling friendship circles and a lack of genuine connection. People are too busy to be genuinely friendly, and their guards are up.
Are only children more attached to their parents?
Couples considering a one-child family face complex concerns, but the benefits of being only children can provide an advantage. Studies show that the only child’s relationship with parents remains close, unlike those with siblings. Stereotypes of the spoiled, lonely only child have little validity today. When making a family size decision, it is important to consider how parenting style influences a child’s development and how their singleton or child with siblings will reflect back on their life. Parenting style, not the number of siblings, influences a child’s development and how their singleton or child with siblings will reflect back on their life.
Do most single moms stay single?
The percentage of single mothers who get married is low, with 40 of children born in the US in 2020 having unwed mothers. Over 50 of single parents have never married. Finding love as a single parent can be challenging, but it’s possible. Learning about dating when you have kids can help you enjoy the experience. Dating as a single parent can be an exciting part of the journey, but it can also bring negative emotions like frustration or disappointment. Embracing the process can help make it a positive experience.
📹 Choosing to have an only child: ‘People were offended’ BBC Stories
Despite the myth that only children can be selfish and lonely, one-child families are becoming more common in many countries.
As an only child, I sometimes want to be alone. I choose to not go out with my friends, or spend time with my parents, because I find it very relaxing to just stay alone and watch a show, or cook, or anything. Being an only child is not a curse, it’s just a fact. And I personally would not like siblings, I love being an only child.
I am not an only but always wanted to be. I enjoy being alone. Being an oldest child I hated having to care for and always do everything for my siblings and what they wanted. I never had anything of my own. Everything was shared and they broke things constantly. I think having siblings is way over rated. But I realize some people have really good relationships with theirs, I just didn’t.
Exact reason people judge only children. You are not independent, exactly opposite…you were the sole focus of your on a daily basis as you have said. I was one of 4 children so I had to be independent. You specifically said your parents are you main source. You have not been independent but completely dependent on your parents focus.
I’m wondering what about only child while they are kids? I have a 3 year old son and I would love to give him a sibling, I feel so guilty every day, I’m depressed because I can’t give him a sibling. In my head I think he feels bored and sad because I can’t play with him all the time. I don’t work so I try to play with him but I can’t do it more than 20 minutes without having to do something or getting bored. Can anyone give me advice or input?
As an only child, I feel she only shed light on the positives. My attitudes and feelings towards being an only child changes and differs as I grow older, when I was younger I did not feel very lonely, I felt I had a normal, pretty enjoyable life. I didn’t really notice the negatives of being an only child. But as I’ve gotten older I am more aware of it and that’s when I started feeling lonely because I think about the what ifs, (what if I had a sister to talk to, what if I didn’t have to be writing this paragraph because my brother wasn’t entertaining me lol) But im sure its just a boring season for me as a 20 year old. Being so independent and having a strong sense of self worth, I know that something will consume my time soon, and then you eventually forget you’re an only child. hope that makes sense hahaha
I’m also an only child but I got a different experience, my mum neglected and abused me which meant my dad took me to live with him, he was a freeloader at his parents house so I had 3 parental figures, it is difficult having youre parents relying on you for the lineage but now it’s more pressure and control I struggle to make friends so much because I wasn’t apart of conversation meaning my social skills are so limited and I get bullied for my poor social life
One time in 4th grade me and a group of 4 were doing a project and we had to make a house. We only had room for 3 bed rooms so we had to decide who was gonna share a room. Just to make this more clear I was the one only child of the group. One had four siblings and the others had 2 and 3. All of a sudden this one girl says, “YoU hAvE tO sHaRe A rOoM cAuSe YoU dOn’T hAvE tO sHaRe AnYtHiNG!!!” I wasn’t sad that I had to she just had made it like I was the problem I didn’t have any siblings. I told her that it wasn’t my problem that my parents didn’t have anymore children. When I got home I cried for hours because she was also one of my closest friends at the time.
I’m an only child. I find myself a great person. solitude is my power. I’m a lion in solitude. However, when I socialize, I lack a lot. I cry inside if I had a brother or a sister whom I would’ve learned socializing with before doing it with strangers. I cry inside because all my brothers are strangers and don’t last forever. I cry inside that my spouse talks me about how close she was to her brother and the stories she went through with her brother that would make sometimes think badly about her relationship with her brother because I wouldn’t understand if I had no siblings .But all thanks are due to God, anyways.
One of my neighbors is always trying to make play dates, events, girl scoots to make sure they’re only child has other kids to play with. The mom makes comments that all my kids have each other. Ever since the shut down in March 2020 the only child has not stepped foot into a classroom but is doing on line learning. I rarely see her leave the house. Not even in the backyard to play. Being an only child will probably really kick in when you’re older and your parents have passed on.
My parents were called selfish for only having me. The thing is my mother went through complications when she had me and during her previous pregnancies, she lost her babies (2-3 times before me). It upsets me that people assume or get offended over something that they don’t have a say in. It’s someone elses life and pregnancy. Not yours.
When you have more than 3 kids, some people will call you selfish for having so many kids “depleting world resources, why not adopt, etc”. When you only have one kid, people will say why only have one, the kid won’t having anyone to play with. When you don’t have any kids, people will call you selfish too. Just cannot satisfy everyone, just do your own thing and please dont judge others on their personal choice.
I just have the one daughter and she’s all I want. She is 17 and has never wished for a sibling. Contrary to popular opinion, she is not lonely, precocious, or immature although she is spoiled but that’s because with one there is more money. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and has changed my life for the better. I could not imagine life without her. We are very close and least I don’t find myself comparing kids or having to break up sibling fights. She won’t suffer mental health issues due to sibling rivalry like I did. Society needs to get over its hang ups about single children. They are better off, some of my daughter’s friends envy her without siblings. She has never wished for one and least I won’t be leaving a Carbon Footprint as I felt the urge to have a large family like so many are doing. One is quite enough!!
I’m an only child and if I were to have a child, I would also have an only child. I feel like most people have so many mental damages due to having siblings and preferential parents. I want my child to be only one that receives love from me and my spouse and feel no need to compare with anyone just like I do. Only children are also close with parents, I would want to be my child’s best friend too. The best thing for a child to have is a supportive loving understanding family which is actually rare these days.
Just because you have a sibling, it doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be close.. grew up with a family of 4 siblings, none of us were that close growing up, we got a lot closer as we got older though and had our families which was nice.. husband also came from a family of 5 siblings.. none of them are close and only speak to each other about once a year .. really just depends on the upbringing.. there’s no right or wrong .. do what you feel is best and be grateful for what you have, whether it’s 1 or 10.. if your child feels loved, then all is good ❤️
I have only one child and I will NEVER espect my daughter to drop her adult/family life and care for me when I old-I would rather go into care and she will come visiting me. I would feel very bad that I can destroy my daughter her family life,marriage etc because of my sickness. I know personal stories when happy marriage come to the end,because of taking care of sick parents-I would feel guilty on this-never trouht of raising servant for myself later in life-some parents are very egoistic
My parents wanted to be childless but they still did right by me after I came along by accident. I was raised around heaps of cousins so I got the socialization of growing up with them with the added bonus of being able to go home and not deal with them later. I think it was a really healthy way to grow up, at least for myself. I love my cousins but I’m glad I never had siblings, or I think I’d go Cain really quick lmao.
I have one kid. Love it. I was only 20 when i had my son. Now im 34. I put his future before more kids. People need to Understand its not ” a right to have kids”. Need to support kids with money, love, health ect. You loose alot of yourself with alot of kids. And aging too faster. People need to chill and be happy with what you have. Kids are expensive . Reality!
End point children are expensive. I’m 26 and in over 100 000€ in debt because my parents couldn’t afford to send their 3 children to university. My husband is the same. We are working 2 jobs to pay the bills and now I’m pregnant. The maths is just stacked against us. If we want more children we will need a bigger apartment and have to work harder therefore see them less. It’s a trade off. Either we break even with one child or have to work more and get into more debt.
Hi Harriet. Good to see how positive you are about being an only child. Your Mum and Dad certainly love you. Our daughter is an only child. Like your parents we struggled financially, so we did not want to put more pressure on ourselves. Looking back now. I wish I could have given our daughter a sister. Friends come and go. It would be nice for her to have a forever companion. But being a parents must be tough when you have to share your love. It has been lovely to just put all our love into our wonderful daughter, and for her never to feel left out. 🙂 Swings and roundabouts.
I’m so glad I came across this article. I’m 33 years old. I come from a big family. My dad has 9 children and my mom 7. My siblings all have more than one kid besides for one sister and I. My daughter is 12. I’m not in a relationship haven’t been in a serious one since her dad and I split when she was 3. Initially I chose not to have anymore children because I didn’t want multiple baby farthers. But as the years went on I realized I just didn’t want anymore for multiple reasons. I wasn’t in a serious relationship. I felt my daughter was already too big and they wouldn’t be as close also I liked my lifestyle. Co workers give me a hard time, tell me that it’s selfish if I just have one, that I NEED to have another or I’m still young I will change my mind when I meet someone. I got my mind set I tell them things are so much easier. 6 more years then off to college. I can hopefully find a man and travel the world. Hey mother’s gotta dream lol
My father has 6 sisters. My father and his sisters are very distant to eachother, always have been. He is now 64 and there is no chance of reconciliation. I am 30 and I have one brother, he is 9 years younger to me. We hardly talk. So having a sibling doesn’t actually guarantee any backup? Yes, more child means more means of support for the parents but that to, now a days, one cannot guarantee. To be honest, its every person for himself/herself. I have one daughter. My wife and I always think whether to plan another or not! Thus while searching for wisdom I came across this article. May be, if my financial condition doesn’t improve drastically in next 5 fives, I may not plan another child. (Pandemic has wrecked everyone’s plan)
I’m an only child but I never hated that even me myself as a mom in future will have a single kid ! Everything had its owns pros and cons! I loved being a only and I was given the best and i don’t think my dreams wouldn’t be true if I had sibling ! As a child I learnt how to overcome loneliness and my parents were always there for me !
It is quite weird. I have one now and other people with 2 or more children always go “don’t you want to add another one?” And when I said “not really” they make sad faces. The thing is, these people don’t live far away from their home country. My family live practically at the other side of the globe and I want to be able to take my child there to visit them at least once a year. You need a lot of money to travel, so 🤷🏻♀️
I am an only child and I found it incredibly lonely. Everyone always brings up the attention from your parents, but if you have any sort of difficulty with them you feel like you have no one to confide in. I would love to have a sibling, and I have always been envious of the bond siblings share. I am an only child and so are both of parents, and I feel there were more psychological harms than benefits.
I have an only child and I am an only child because of my mum and dads health. My child is only because of firstly my health and second reason is that now she is 5 and I wanted to give her a sibling I’m not so fertile anymore at almost 35 years old. There are often reasons for only having one. Even if its just because of fear or being able to cope with more kids around.
I have a son who is almost 7, I became pregnant but sadly lost the baby at 4 1/2 months pregnant just a few days ago. I just hope my son understands that I tried but I can’t ever go through the possibility of having that happen again to me ….. he was a miracle baby (an actual miracle baby who I almost lost at 23 weeks (due to medical issues but didn’t loose him) I get judged so many times and sadly so does my son. People look at him like poor kid…. but they don’t know how fulfilled his life is and how hard I work to try and provide play dates/fun activities. It is tough on parents who choose to only have one child … people are so judgmental at times
if you no kids, people say you’re selfish if you have 1 kid, people say how sad your child has no sibling to play with if you have 2 kids of same gender (son + son) or (daughter + daughter), people say you should try for opposite gender if you have 3 kids, people say you’re selfishly overconsuming planet’s resources & should adopt instead HUMANS 🤷🏻♀️
Personally, I’m an only child and I would never subject a child to being an only child. Even if I couldn’t have a second I’d adopt. I know it’s kind of an unpopular opinion but being an only child isn’t all that fun (although I’m biased because I have very little family in general). But in my experience, it’s a lot of boredom, a lot of loneliness, and now that both me and my parents are getting older, this creeping feeling that someday I’ll be responsible for the care of both of my divorced parents all on my own. It’s not something that most people understand but it’s a heavy weight, especially when people are constantly singling you out as spoiled and privileged. I saw so many of my friends argue with their siblings (I mean really genuinely argue, gum in hair, toothbrushes on floors, etc.) and I remember through all of it, feeling this genuine sense of jealousy. People with siblings will never know how lucky they are, but I suppose that’s the real irony of life.
I am a only child. I am in America. My mom was only 16 when she had me and she wanted to have two or three children. She is a only child too. I was born and two years later when she was 18 she was finding it difficult to find full time work. So my parents decided to just have me and wait until they are old enough and have full time work. My dad went to university at 18 and didn’t come back until 21 and my mom had a full time job at 20. So when my dad returned from university at 21 he was able to have full time work and at 23 they were financially better but I was 7 years old and I was used to it and they didn’t think it was right to then have another child when I grew up 7 years without a sibling.
I’m technically a youngest child but was raised as an only child (my siblings are old enough to be my parents, and are more like an aunt/uncle to me than anything). I was not spoiled, but I do think I have a selfish streak from being raised as an only child. My childhood was fine, and I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. Currently pregnant with my first and seriously debating if they should be an only child or not. The only thing that gives me pause is that they will have no close cousins, so I worry about them feeling isolated in the family due to their age.
My dad was an only child for 15 years then had a brother. My only first-cousins also have only child families. My family has a weird history. My grandparents came from large farming families but as time progressed, the family thinned itself out. The siblings either died in birth, really young, or in their thirties. No one got to 60 except my grandparents. So, as a superstition precaution; my grandparents said to only have 1-3 children per grandchild. As they believe it was karma for having excessive children and it needed to be balanced out. Personally, I want only one child but prefer to not any at all.
I have only one kid and in a place where it’s common for people to have more, I ask questions like what if something were to happen? I don’t want my kid to face all the troubles all by herself but then again, having siblings doesn’t guarantee security but I’d love to have another kid, sadly, my wife already has high blood pressure problems, and she’s already 36. Thinking about the future, we’d be in our 60’s and the other child would just be just starting out in college. Not economically feasible for us now either. This is something that I regret as a parent.
Being the old child is the best firstly u wont have to share secondly being the only child wont have so many problems such as sharing, having more family love and u dont need to anything to deal with of cos there are pros and cons it also depend on ur family some parents put their hope on their only child do well in studies and stuff and always pressure them to get better results so it really depend on what type of parents u have
I was an only child for 9 yrs until my brother was born. Parents very authoritative and forced me and only me to satisfy their desires to be compared with their friends, then they saw me struggling and didn’t do the same to my brother lmao. So no, only child doesn’t always mean spoiled. And I became the family’s punchbag after my brother’s birth lol
We have one child and not going to have anymore because life is bloody expensive and having another child to feed buy clothes and everything I just don’t know how people do it yes unless your husband is earning over £3000 a month or more ok you could prob manage if you have a low mortgage payment and you can give up work otherwise why live pay check to pay check we are happy with our one and we will always be able to enjoy life together and give him the best and he is happy sociable enjoying life also having a sibling doesn’t mean they will be close I know loads of people who don’t even talk to there siblings now they are adults. Also the looking after us when we are older thing we will prepare for our old age because we have more time and money to prepare for that when you only have one child so if we both end up in care homes our child will only have to visit us lol it’s not like he’s going to be out full time carer so I don’t know why people say that the child is looking after there elderly parents
I am an only child, mom and dad got divorced, dad is gay so no siblings. I asked mu mom do many times for a sibling, I really wanted one didn’t care about sharing my stuff… I remember the feeling. Sadly my mom was unable to get pregnant again. Now I have a daughter and find myself not wanting another one. I feel she is perfect I don’t need another one. And having another one just so she has a sibling and doesn’t feel the same way I did doesn’t seem fair to the second child, is not a puppy… so yeah only one here
There are couples that have one child, two children, three children, four children or more children. I have a sister and a brother; the sister is two years older and the brother is two years younger. Our childhood was not great as it went along as a family and incidents were worse as they went along. It was purely my anger problems and poor behaviour as a child and did wrong. But I was always victimised by my parents and siblings where I was treated as the problematic and they weren’t perfect people on the other hand. They treated me as if I was simply a villain and bullied me. I am 30 and don’t have any connection with my parents or siblings. It is better to grow up as an only child and be always close to your family than not be.
I also chose to only have one child, and make her an only child, because I focused on making her a quality person. And there are other things I can’t tell other people about that I’m worried about. But sometimes there is pressure from the family, especially my husband’s family, who wants me to give birth again. That’s very annoying. My body is mine and the one living life is me. I hope they don’t have to interfere.
I was an only child for 11 years and OMG I LOVED it. Then my sister came along, and due to the age difference, she’s more like a child to me, but we’re still really close😊. I now have a 4 year old, and due to medical reasons and our current comfortable quality of life, we are happy at one and done. ❤
In India it’s a necessity, and I’m an only child like my mom and truth be told people have different views about it… But I think it’s better for the world, environment and overall a new age thing like nuclear families… Yes responsibility of taking care of parents is a must duty solely on us… But other than that life has been cool in a way…. Also if you see among the Indian educated middle class especially bengali Hindus one child has become a norm
I’m a single mother with one 12 year old son. I often worry about him not having a sibling. Mostly around if something were to happen to me. Atleast if he had a sibling they’d have each other. Although they’d have to share the inheritance so I guess that would be a downside. There are definitely pros and cons to being a single child.
I’m an adult only child and also a K-12 teacher. I would not have only one child. For me it was a terrible decision for my parents to make. As a teacher I see “Only” students struggle with early warning signs that I wouldn’t have caught had I not already lived their battle. My parents hung their every wish, dream, and expectation on me and that leads to not a healthy relationship or sense of self for the child. If you can parent your child from a truly selfless place, then ok maybe it would work. I will not chance it with my daughter. OH PS! Did I mention both my parents have had cancer since my teens? Another thing you don’t think about when you decide to just have one. What if you get sick young? Before your only child has a family of their own. This is damaging, or at least it was for me.
I have siblings (although I was adopted) and for a long time I thought I wanted four kids. Then when I actually met my now husband I wanted two; we wanted two. But by the time we had our son we’d been married for 10 years and decided we wanted to be one and done. We didn’t want any more kids. I work at a daycare center and I absolutely love it but I saw what it was like when the parents had their kid…and then I saw how complicated it got when they had two or three or even more than that and I just didn’t want to mess with all that. It’s so much easier like when he gets older (he’s almost two now) it will only have one schedule of his to deal with, I don’t have any hours where I work late and neither does my husband. We never do any travel for work so we come home and we can just focus on him and just chill out. Multiple kids is just too complicated for us, not to mention expensive here in the US. I’m honestly really happy for this choice. Plus I had him when I was 37 & the older you get the more riskier the pregnancies (generally) are.
You had an only child because you are smart. You want your child to have the best opportunities imaginable. Only children have opportunities that children in multichild families don’t/won’t have. Be glad that you have an only child. BTW, I am an UNAPOLEGETIC only child. Your child will be mature & independent.
One of the five smartest decisions I even made was NOT having a second child with my now ex-wife. Our son (now 25) is severely (Level 3) autistic. In her family, her sister had a daughter has Down’s Syndrome, and her brother has a son with autism as well. There was just way too much risk for another child with a Developmental Disability.
I’m here trying to feel better and calm my anxiety and guilt. I have a 3 year old boy and I started trying to o get pregnant months ago and it’s not happening. I feel so sad for my son, he wants to be around other kids. He wants to play and me and my husband is all he has. I’m so desperate to get him a sibling and not being able to gives me guilt.
It’s the financial aspect. About 90% of the moms in my town near (upper middle class) Boston, don’t work, their husbands can afford the house, wife and three kids on his income alone. They all have at least 3 kids here. So naturally as a working mom, widow, me having only one child stands out, as are the few other working moms here.
I am an only child The loneliness is definitely crippling You have no one else to depend, lean and sympathize with Yeah a few good friends, when your parents die you’ll be all alone, you’ll be sobbing alone, you’ll be mourning alone, you’re robbing your child of a brotherly or sisterly love you’re robbing your child off of having a family. If you’re going to have kids, have at least 2. An only child wouldn’t have someone to teach him the things his parents wouldn’t, only children tend to be lonely and socially awkward and tend to not be socialized properly I STRUGGLED to overcome my awkwardice, i wish i had a brother or sister, when i have kids they won’t have nephews, i won’t be able to go to my parents house for Christmas and have a big family over there. Also parents get VERY clingy, because you’re the ONLY child they’ll ever have. Honestly (imo ofc) if you have an only child you’re crippling them unnecessarily, have 2 at least or have none.
To people who get hella lonely bc they’re only children, get busy and be productive. Get counselling. If you are poor find creative ways to make money. We waste time thinking we all need somebody to feel complete when as a matter of fact, our own worst enemy is ourselves. Learn to be joyful and love your independence. If some people like J or that lenley guy keep saying awwe i want a sibling etc— it just means they aren’t doing anything to solve their problems. The world is better when you learn to be happy for you.
I think some people want only 1 child because it is alot of emotional,mental, physical, financial investment. You just don’t do kids bcz thats society norms, you need to think if you are capable of taking care of your kids whether its 2,3,4 etc. There is no guarantee that siblings love each other, they enjoy each other company. There is also no guarantee they ll look after you in older age. Nothing is permanent.
when it comes down to it having 1 child is a selfish choice but an understandable one because not everybody is mentally or financially stable enough to have more.. the first child is always a suprise. which mean they either intended to have child or they didnt. if they decide to not have a 2nd child its because they already feel in over they heads with just 1. most of the time we are not intended at all and are just a product of lust rather than love
Please don’t have just one child, it hurts to grow up alone, and there is so much responsibility put on your shoulders. If you don’t want the pressure/stress of another kid than maybe you should reconsider your parental ability. I think more people should refrain from having children at all than do this to their child.
I totally get the appeal of having one kid, it’s much easier to do things and go out, and return to a more normal life sooner. Right now I have one. I love that I can give my tot all my attention. But I’m pregnant with my second, and so happy she will eventually have a playmate. I think the sibling bond is so special, I love my sister. I just wish she lived closer. Totally fine to just have one, there’s no guarantee that siblings will get along. I hope that at least one of my kids sticks close by when they’re older.
There is NOTHING wrong with having one child or wanting to have only one child, however I feel that being an only child puts you at a disadvantage and I feel in the long run it’s worst overall. Which is why as an only child I would never want to have one child. I’d even rather have none than only one.
I think the best scenario is either one kid or four kids. Lot of South Asian kind of always have two kids and they almost always have the second kid just to give the first a sibling, and i think having just two of us leads to comparison and insecurities at lot of times. Several will be good, or one will at least give that independence and undivided attention from parents.
Sensible parents who stopped at one due to their financial circumstance. Living in US I am appalled at seeing low income couples breeding children like no care in the world..they have no shame in living off food stamps and government assistance. I too have only one child because of medical reasons..but my husband and I are happy n so is our child.
Nah my husband and i have agreed to only have one child -like its easier financially, emotionally and physically. Its slighlty less stressful only focusing on child rather than 2+. And i admit it i love my independence too much and having days to myself with only having one child its easier and cheaper to get a babysitter. Wouldnt it be more selfish of us to have more than one that we know deep down we couldnt afford 🙂. Im happy with the one and done lol. P.s noone should be pressured into anything you have to do whats right for your family xx
If people want to have only one child then they can! I’m an only child and I dont really care for it…I had a horrible time when I was in the middle of my parents split up when I was a teenager. It would have been so much better of I had a sibling to have by my side at that time. And now that I’m getting older, it sucks seeing family age and knowing that one day I’ll be dealing with the pain and emptiness of losing them by myself.
I only want one child and I don’t give a shit what anybody thinks. One child is more than enough. Besides partly why I want only one child is because when I was little my mom had told me she was pregnant with my sister and when she was born and brought her home from the hospital. I immediately felt replaced and I resented my sister I didn’t want her I never did. For years there was a lack of closeness. I think I hated her so much because she stole what was mine first. My mother. Ever since I was born I was a mama’s girl I was all about my mom. I was her shadow I followed her everywhere went everywhere with her. And when my sister came into the picture I hated it. I just wanted my mommy all too myself. I didn’t understand why this baby took her away from me. I never really ajusted to having a sibling. It took me years to accept that my sister wasn’t going anywhere. To this day were not close we tolerate each other. I do love her in my own way. But I will never forget how her very existence made me feel all those years ago. I don’t want my future child to feel the way I did. Or suffer in silence the way I did. So when he or she is born I will make sure that they know that they are my priority and that they will have a great life and be so loved. Because they are the only child I would ever want. They will be enough for me.
I don’t have any kids yet but honestly I think I only want one, I want to ‘spoil’ them with love and do fun things with them when they are young and growing up, I want to teach them to be responsible and kind and strong and to stand up for themselves and others. But also I think not who will take care of me when I’m old because I don’t mind having a good caretaker or being in a nice home for the elderly but when I die will they feel burden (as in will it be to much for them alone-but I guess if they have a family they can help also) by the responsibilities of putting up a funeral, emotional state, etc, idk. It’s what I hear people telling me that I should have more then one kid but I want to give my kid my attention and what if with two or more they don’t feel equally loved (which ovi is Id love them the same) idk over thinking here I think.
I know that some people have problems conceiving, others have financial issues, some are single parents & many other issues. I grew up as an only child & I have always been sad & sometimes it has angered me. My parents were immigrants from italy who migrated to australia & tberefore were always working, so the years went by & they didnt have any more but just me. I always felt lonely & jealous of friends who had someone to share their life with. I use to play board games on my own, play tennnis by hitting the wall, had noone to talk to. I have always grown tired of people saying you must be spoilt, which i wasnt & how come you were an only child. The fact that my parents only had me they have always been over protective & controlled me so much, right up to now that im 60. I always dreamt of being part of a big family & having someone to support me & be best friends. I ended up Getting married & having 2 kids A boy & a girl. I wanted more but my ex didnt want to. It gets worse as you get older cause as your parents get old there is only you who can help them. There have been times where i dreamt of belonging to another family with many kids & a different life. I have been throught alot of trauma in my life with divorce & health issues & i believe that if i didnt have kids i would have gone to another country & started a new life for myself.. When i hear people who say i just have one child i say dont do it its not fair on.them. If you dont have issues i feel like tbey are being selfish.
I have two siblings but there adults so i’m left by myself with my mom who is a mother-father trying to take care so mostly likely at school kids would say stuff like “Oh my sister and i did-” or “Its going to be my brothers-” but me i would say this like “My next door neighbor did this” i won’t really tell them if they have siblings or not cause i already know they will have one or more after my mom had me she decided to have no more kids i mean i will be happy if i had at least a sibling to talk to or watch You tube with or just do whatever with them i have to be alone all day most there are kids in my family but they are just younger then me so it makes me feel kinda good but my cousins (which are the kids) are like five yrs old or younger or older but they will be kids because i’m almost a teenager and i have to be able to accept that my mom will not have anymore kids (but what i do know is that she might adopt) we really want to adopt a kid my age so i can basically talk to someone and do stuff with them but having a fact to know is i am not a only child because i have siblings but its not the same when they are adults not and i have to here alone with my mom but when i grow up to a adult i’m going to have at least 2 kids so they can be together and know they have someone to talk to and play with just basically like a best friend….. this goes out to only child’s around the world that it is okay to be alone because you can make friends or hangout with your next door neighbor if they have kids or you can hangout with family because guess what they could be only child’s too! <3
The one Mom from Sweden frist name beginning with T. She admitted it was all about her, she is too lazy to have a second child. It’s her lifestyle not about her daughter having a lifetime biological siblings – that narcissist mother doesn’t realize she will eventually die and her daughter will be biologically alone of biological family she is close to
Nothing wrong in having one child if you can’t have another thereafter. But if you can then it’s selfish because the only child can grow up lonely and in the future mum and dad aren’t going to be around and then the child is pretty much left without family. Ofcourse the only child can go on to have a family but no sibling to visit and no possible chance of nieces and nephews. And also siblings tend to stick by each other. Trust me. I’m in that situation with my child being an only one and it’s not a great prospect