Growing up with an alcoholic parent can have profound effects on a child’s life, with approximately 1 in 10 children (7.5 million) living with at least one parent with alcohol use disorder. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are common among adults, with 61 of them having at least one ACE. Children of alcoholic parents have a four times greater chance of developing AUD later in life, and they are generally at greater risk for emotional problems.
A study conducted by Swedish researchers Anneli explored the effects of growing up in an alcoholic family, where one or both parents are dependent on or misuse alcohol. Alcoholism tends to run in families, with children of alcoholic parents having a four times greater risk of developing AUD. When a parent has an AUD and cannot meet their responsibilities, there can be negative effects for the child that can last into adulthood.
Approximately 1 in five adult Americans have lived with an alcoholic relative while growing up, and many children of alcoholics have also experienced some form of neglect or abuse in the home. The National Association for Children of Alcoholics reports that around 30 million children are born to parents with alcohol use disorder.
Children of alcoholic parents face emotional, developmental, and academic challenges, emphasizing the need for support and resources. Alcoholism in family systems refers to the conditions in families that enable alcoholism and the effects of alcoholic behavior by one or more family members.
📹 Traits That Come From Growing Up With Alcoholic Parents
I have a free gift for you! Learn step-by-step where attachment trauma comes from and how to address it. Relationships are the …
How does having an alcoholic parent affect a child?
Alcoholic parents often create unstable households, leading to children feeling vulnerable and helpless. This lack of control can lead to unhealthy focus on control over life, situations, and behaviors, which can hinder intimacy. Children with alcoholic parents often hide their emotions, such as sadness, anger, embarrassment, shame, and frustration, to feel safe. This can lead to a shutdown of emotions in adulthood, and positive emotions become difficult to express.
Another issue is low self-esteem, as children’s self-perception is influenced by their caregivers and authority figures. An absent parent with an AUD may not provide an accurate self-image, causing life-long issues with self-image. Children of alcoholic households may struggle with confidence, social comparison, feedback, boundaries, self-doubt, and accepting help, even after they’re grown. These issues are not their fault.
Can an alcoholic mother have a healthy baby?
Alcohol can disrupt development at any stage, even before a woman knows she is pregnant. Research shows that binge drinking and heavy drinking during pregnancy put a developing baby at the greatest risk for severe problems. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) are a wide range of physical, behavioral, and cognitive impairments that occur due to prenatal alcohol exposure. An estimated 1 to 5 of U. S. first graders have FASD, according to a National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)-supported study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
FASD can result from interfering with the baby’s brain and other critical organs and physiological functions, leading to deficits after birth and beyond. There is no known safe amount of alcohol consumption during pregnancy.
How many children in the UK have alcoholic parents?
The UK government has provided some clarity on a concerning issue affecting vulnerable children, with one in five children living with a hazardous drinker and around 705, 000 with an alcohol-dependent parent. These children, young people, and adults face adverse consequences such as mental health issues, poor school performance, disordered eating, police trouble, and addictive behaviors. Many witness domestic violence, experience abuse, or are forced into caring roles for their parents and siblings, with half keeping it secret from the outside world.
How does alcohol affect child development?
The consumption of alcohol has been demonstrated to have a detrimental impact on the cognitive development of children and adolescents, with effects persisting into their early twenties. These effects encompass a range of domains, including impaired problem-solving abilities, diminished academic performance, and adverse effects on physical and mental health. During the teenage years, numerous regions of the brain undergo alterations, with the most pronounced changes occurring during this developmental period. These changes have been linked to alterations in problem-solving abilities and academic performance.
Does alcoholism usually skip a generation?
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a genetic condition that can be passed down through generations, with some individuals carrying a predisposition to the disorder. However, no one is born with AUD, and only 50% of the risk is attributed to genetics. The remaining 50% comes from environmental and social factors experienced during childhood and throughout life. A 1997 study by Stephen H. Dinwiddie compared fraternal twins and identical twins, finding that identical twins share the same 23 pairs of chromosomes, making them appear similar.
This research explored the idea that if alcohol addiction were primarily based on genetics, identical twins with the same genetic predisposition for AUD would show similar expressions of the disorder, taking into account environmental factors. The study involved over 5, 800 participants, including both male and female twins.
What are the statistics of having an alcoholic parent?
Research indicates that about one in 10 children and one in 5 adults live with a parent with an alcohol use disorder (AUD). This can lead to long-term emotional and behavioral consequences for children. It is crucial to seek help if your family is affected by alcohol use. Verywell Mind uses high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support its articles. A cross-sectional study of 28047 adults from the general population found that parental alcohol problems in childhood and adversities during childhood and later adulthood are associated with these issues.
Can a father’s drinking cause harm to the baby?
Studies show that children of alcoholic fathers often have impaired cognitive skills and are more hyperactive than those of nonalcoholic biological parents. Paternal alcohol consumption may affect fetal development through a direct effect on the father’s sperm or gonads, potentially causing deficits in the progeny. This raises questions about the heritability of alcoholism in humans. Although maternal alcohol intake during pregnancy has been well documented, the possibility that paternal alcohol consumption may also induce deficits in the progeny has received little attention.
Alcoholism is genetically linked with the father in humans, and studies indicate that male offspring of alcoholic fathers have behavioral problems, impaired intellectual skills, hormonal and nervous system anomalies.
Which country has the highest alcoholism rate?
Russia and Australia have the highest prevalence of alcohol dependence, with 2. 61 and 2. 58 per cent, respectively. The US has the lowest rate at 1. 92 per cent. The top countries with the highest rates of alcohol use disorder in males are Russia (16. 29), Hungary (15. 29), Lithuania (13. 35), South Korea (13. 10), Latvia (11. 54), Belarus (11. 43), Estonia (11. 09), Niue (10. 58), Colombia (10. 33), and Thailand (10. 18).
What are the 4 types of children of alcoholics?
The study explores the concept of personality subtypes in children of alcoholics (COAs) and their clinically-based taxonomies. Wegscheider proposed five personality styles, while Black added “The Placater”. However, empirical support for these taxonomies is weak. Rhodes and Blackham developed four scales to quantify characteristics of the Hero, Lost Child, Scapegoat, and Placater, but only emerged on the Scapegoat scale. Devine and Braithwaite found that the subtypes could discriminate COAs and non-COAs, but not exclusively linked to parental alcoholism.
Researchers have sought other personality subtypes among COAs, finding three subtypes among them: one showed elevations in sociability, self-acceptance, well-being, responsibility, self-control, achievement, and intellectual efficiency. Subtype two scored slightly below subtype one on all scales but maintained scores characteristic of a normal population. Subtype three produced low scores on all scales and was significantly associated with higher rates of parental death, sexual abuse, and physical abuse.
These findings suggest the possibility of personality subtypes, but they largely discriminate relatively healthy from disturbed individuals with more troubled histories compounding parental alcoholism.
To bridge the previously inconsistent findings on COA personality subtypes, two studies were conducted to identify personality subtypes of adolescent and adult COAs using the Shedler-Westen Assessment Procedure (SWAP). The study used Q-factor analysis on two separate samples, one of adolescents and the other of adults, to determine if personality subtypes are similar across two different age groups. No previous research has examined ACOA personality subtypes or compared personality subtypes of COAs across two age groups.
What are the 4 types of children of alcoholic parents?
The study explores the concept of personality subtypes in children of alcoholics (COAs) and their clinically-based taxonomies. Wegscheider proposed five personality styles, while Black added “The Placater”. However, empirical support for these taxonomies is weak. Rhodes and Blackham developed four scales to quantify characteristics of the Hero, Lost Child, Scapegoat, and Placater, but only emerged on the Scapegoat scale. Devine and Braithwaite found that the subtypes could discriminate COAs and non-COAs, but not exclusively linked to parental alcoholism.
Researchers have sought other personality subtypes among COAs, finding three subtypes among them: one showed elevations in sociability, self-acceptance, well-being, responsibility, self-control, achievement, and intellectual efficiency. Subtype two scored slightly below subtype one on all scales but maintained scores characteristic of a normal population. Subtype three produced low scores on all scales and was significantly associated with higher rates of parental death, sexual abuse, and physical abuse.
These findings suggest the possibility of personality subtypes, but they largely discriminate relatively healthy from disturbed individuals with more troubled histories compounding parental alcoholism.
To bridge the previously inconsistent findings on COA personality subtypes, two studies were conducted to identify personality subtypes of adolescent and adult COAs using the Shedler-Westen Assessment Procedure (SWAP). The study used Q-factor analysis on two separate samples, one of adolescents and the other of adults, to determine if personality subtypes are similar across two different age groups. No previous research has examined ACOA personality subtypes or compared personality subtypes of COAs across two age groups.
Is alcoholism passed down to children?
Research indicates that genetic factors significantly influence alcoholism, with children of alcoholics being four times more likely to develop alcohol problems than the general population. However, over half of all children of alcoholics do not become alcoholics. Alcoholism, or alcohol dependence, is a disease characterized by craving, loss of control, physical dependence, and tolerance. Alcoholism is a strong urge to drink, with symptoms including craving, loss of control, withdrawal symptoms, and the need to drink more alcohol to get “high”. Factors such as genetics, environmental factors, and personal experiences can also impact the risk of developing alcoholism.
📹 10 Effects of Growing Up with an Alcoholic or Addict Parent
Let’s talk about growing up with an addict or alcoholic parent or guardian and how this affects us now. There are many effects that …
I grew up with an alcoholic father and was always scared. I’m 22 now and all I have is anger inside me. I’ve ended up hitting him through arguments because I can’t control that pent up anger. This anger translates outside the house as I am quick to get angry over any situation. I feel like I’ve become a monster EDIT I’m surprised to see the attention and support this has gotten, I thank you all dearly and feel for you as you have resonated with these feelings. 2 years apart from this post my father did the unthinkable and quit drinking. It’s been a year since he’s touched alcohol. We have started to develop a relationship which I’m in awe of every time I think about it. I do want to tell all of you going through this that it’s only when I decided to forgive my father for everything he has done that I have been able to grow. I’ve went from a boy to a man. Please, look for inner growth amongst yourselves. They may never change, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Your life will become better once you let go of the resentment. All love
I’m 29 and just an hour ago, I had to cut my mother off once and for all. She has been alcohol dependent for 30 plus years but got worse when I moved out at 18. She had a withdrawal seizure Christmas day 4 years ago and was doing very well in her sobriety. But she continued to be selfish and my family always focuses on keeping her happy. Disregarding everyone else’s feelings and past trauma. She lost her dad 2 days ago, drank again and became nasty. I am no longer tolerating the abuse. I have my own children to consider and their mother deserves to be well. We need to think of us now. And the fact that anyone here searched for this article is an amazing first step. I’m proud of you all. Our feelings matter too. ❤️ keep strong guys.
I must’ve been a weird kid… I grew up surrounded by alcoholic family members (seriously, mother, grandmother, uncle, aunt, cousins, great aunts and uncles) not day went by that every single one of them weren’t drunk/angry/ridiculous… And I was the oldest child out of 7 (not including the cousins, because I got to tend to children ages newborn to 9) but I’ve developed the exact opposite of all of those traits. Outspoken, unafraid, forward, and I don’t let anger build up. I’ve always been the “savior” to everyone until I reached adulthood, then I said my goodbyes and left. I don’t have anything to do with any of them. They can save themselves.
I grew up in a military family and we moved every year until high school. I was raised like a soldier – don’t show emotion and be disciplined in all all you do. I had severe anxiety since childhood. A psychologist once told me that growing up in that environment is identical to having alcoholic parents. I am a people pleaser and it has not served me well. I’m enjoying your articles immensely. Thank you
Now at 30 years old I’m finally accepting and trying to find help being an adult children of alcoholic parents. I hope you can too. Common Traits 1. tend to be people pleasers (yes) 2. asking honest opinion about something, not the whole truth in order not to make the other person angry or hurt 3. anger will be a hard emotion for them to feel. hard to share and express (during my childhood yes but as an adult I’ve been having anger issues) 4. self sacrifice (I forget about my own feelings) 5. health problems, long term problem with the nervous system and immune system 6. loyal 7. anxious attachment
I’m 14, I’m growing up in a house with a drunk dad that is bipolar and everything you said is true and I can’t express what emotion I’m feeling right now. I have almost every health and mental problem you just listed. He also abuses prescription drugs and Is insanely religious (catholic) and I’m atheist so that Causes many fights.
Growing up with an alcoholic father and now being a 39 year olds I can definitely relate. I still hate conflict to this day and still have anger problems. But I don’t bottle anything inside. Thankfully I try and maintain a healthy lifestyle and try to stay mentally positive and understanding. But I’m still seen as very mysterious as I have trouble opening up and always being distant. In certain social situations I still get anxious. Now that I’m a father I will never allow my children to go through what I had to experience. I can definitely tell I’m jaded.
Thank you so much for speaking on this and sharing this. You’ve helped me realize a LOT in less than 7 minutes and I appreciate you 🙏🏻 I’m sick all the time and I’ve always said something is wrong with my immune system, but I couldn’t figure out why. I have a lot of anger built up inside, and usually when I do let it out, I go about it the wrong way/it’s very extreme when the situation is pretty minor in the eyes of others. I’m making sure I do as much research as I can on ACOA so I can heal and work through the issues my traumatic childhood has brought into my adult life. Again, thank you for doing what you do. You are wonderful.
i have been going down the youtube rabbit hole lately with ACA stuff. i heard anger in this message. having 2 alcoholic parents and the environment that i grew up in anger was the only appropriate emotion. the saying “misery loves company” i changed to “misery demands company” and i would say that “angry people demand angry people”
My parents own a tavern and I’ve always said they’ve bought their casket and they’ll die there. No matter how much I screamed, cried, or begged, I was mercilessly met by more alcohol and drug abuse. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t strive to do anything. I’m depressed, and all in all lack compassion for anything or anyone. I’m numb.
Alcohol became easily available in my teenage years due to my present and absent parents. This opened the door for my careless and unaware involvement into poly drug use. I am stuck dependent on poppy extracts now in the form of a green fluid. I am also aware that this was the norm for them growing up just after WW2, i can only imagine the residual emotional energy from all that death/loss. People pleasing, i have heard that phrase so many times ! Thanks for your article
comments thank you so much 😂 I am now 20 and my mum hasn’t drank or been physically abusive for a good 5 years actually thank god but before that I was the only one trapped in a house with her during what should have been my childhood and because of that im left with so many questions that I will never have answers too but articles like this really help me grasp a further understanding of myself when I’m a bit lost and need it THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!
When I was a kid my mum sometimes said to me that she hopes I don’t get any problems when I am older because of my alcoholic dad. All the time I thought it is weird and this wouldnt be happening. Now I am 21years old and I understand now what my mum means. I think many things have to do with my dad what was happening in my head and how I acted. My dad drinks alcohol everyday now too and he is painkiller addicted but he is much better than in the time when I was 7 till 15 years old. Now he can control himself more and he is nicer to our family about this I am very glad. But In my schooltime I always were the pleasurer. I had a best friend and I did all for her that she didn’t get angry or she didn”t wana break the friendship. For her I broke up the friendships with all my other friends and all this stupid stuff. I did so much weird things for her. And I never connected the dots
I need help… my mom has been an alcoholic for the past 7/8 months and is slowly but surely starting to drink less however now, whenever any of my friends or close members of family pull out any kind of alcohol I feel really uncomfortable and rather upset.. is this a normal thing? If so, how can I deal with it better
My mother has been an alcoholic my whole life. Im 16 and I have so much anger and abandonment issues because of it. I’ve never hurt anybody but as soon as I see someone showing me any affection I leave before they can. She would go two weeks sober and be the best mother I could have ever asked for and then that same night she would start drinking till she was the worst person I’ve ever met. She would be so neglectful towards myself and my brother when we were little. So many ambulances had to be called for her when I was only 6 years old because myself and my brother would be locked out of the house after school for hours cause she was passed out and wouldn’t let us in, and when we finally got let in, she would fall over. Anyone who shows signs of not being consistent trigger me and I leave them with out explanation. I have had toxic romantic relationships just because I don’t know how to express my emotions whether they are positive or negative.
I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents and I don’t totally agree with the three traits. I can be a people pleaser at times, but I will tell you the truth (I grew up in the North not the South). I just ask people if they really want the truth before I tell it. I am good at reading people and usually know who can handle it and who cannot. Anger was the only emotion that I really felt. I have always had a very quick temper and my anger actually scares me sometimes. In relationships, I more likely to push someone away rather than be clingy; I don’t let people get very close to me. Have chosen emotionally distant partners. The third point has been true for me. I started feeling the effects of my over active stress response at the age of 35 and have been trying to figure out how to feel better for the last 10+ years.
I was in the car when my dad was arrested for a DUI. I was 12 the first car crash I was in with my drunk dad. 13 when I realized how much his words and actions hurt so bad. His negligence lead to my mental health disorder, dissociation. Its bin so hard any time anyone is drinking I, dissociate. If I’m playing the game on my phone I was playing the day we crashed, I dissociate. Just like the day I was in the back of a police car having a panic attack after my dad’s arrest. the kind officer helped and hugged me till my mom was there. I just want to thank him even though I know he wouldn’t see this. I love my dad. But the more my parents fight the more scared I get. The more the words hurt. And the more I hurt myself as an way to ease the pain. I can’t take it anymore. One day if I grow up to be a mother I won’t let my kids suffer. I won’t make them drag there father in bed drunk from the yard. I won’t make their brother cover their ears from the fighting of their parents. Like my brother does for me. I will show them what it means to be loved, I promise. I am 13 years old, my name is Lexi and I’m a normal girl in 8th grade you wouldn’t notice from how I act but I’m hurting. So the next time you see someone struggling go eat lunch with them or play 4 square it’s means the world. I promise…
I grew up with an alcoholic father and i am a people pleaser person. My girlfriend is an alcoholic and i find myself trying to please her and not make her upset(walking on eggshells). I am straight edge in my lifestyle so i dont partake in drugs or alcohol but i struggle to help my girlfriend kick her destructive behaviour. She walks all over me and i end up being the one saying sorry when she relapses. She lies to my face when i ask her if she has been drinking when she obviously is almost blacked out and emotionally violent toward me. I feel trapped and i want to make this work but it seems like it will surely happen again. Thanks for reading and i hope to get her the help she needs.
I didn’t grow up in a alcoholic household, my parents where like dry drunks, dad with a temper, mom with depression, oldest brother with temper and golden child, I was always trying to keep the peace in toxic household, I married an alcoholic, always trying to be good enough . Spouse needs alot of attention, I believe he drinks to be social . I learned not to cover for him anymore because I was enabling him to stay stuck in addiction, did the 12 steps in Alanon was a great help in understanding not my fault. 3 -C’s I can’t Control it, I don’t Cause it, there is no Cure for it
My mum was an alcoholic until I was 15 and my stepdad was also a violent alcoholic. Yet, when it comes to speaking my mind or choosing what to do/where to go, I can be quite straightforward and even selfish. What gives ? I always expressed my anger towards my parents for drinking. It didn’t help, but I didn’t keep it inside.
I even realized to late that my dad was an alcoholic and I later realized that he has been an alcoholic since I was birthed. Now he is sick and should stop drinking but he won’t. I witnessed him sober but also weakened at the hospital and I was so confused about his real him… My parents had shared custody so, it wasn’t an everyday thing but thinking back to those times we saw him… he had so many chances and now he is angry about our bad connection.
I never get angry, not enough to hurt anyone or break anything. I keep it all in my mind, but I may appear angry and upset. Everytime I think of alchohol, or see someone with it I get uncomfortable and resentful. My Mom was an alcoholic, and she had to have a whole bottle of wine every night. I have no problem with drinking in moderation, but I hated when my Mom drank because she became more aggressive and more scary. Everytime I was around her it was like walking on eggshells. :,(
I just went no contact on a friend who is an alcoholic narcissist which ads another level of insanity to the situation. He had to gain control of my child, turn her against me, and fool around with skanks while shes locked out crying knocking on the door wanting to know what they were doing. Then he’d buy her a toy and make her pinky swear not to tell me. Too much for such a little mind. Too much for an adult mind but i must protect her.
Both of my parents are alcoholics and they are not human beings anymore due what they done to me, my twin brother and his girlfriend and to my family.😇 my mother is now dead due to alcoholism and now I have to deal with my father and what worse is that he will end up loosing me forever if he doesn’t stop drinking and gets the help that he needs.😇
Spot on she also has ADHD very high on the spectrum. She’s 35 and she can’t even handle a 5 second conversation regarding anything adult at All. She liked me came in really hard it felt like a drug coming out of a 10 year relationship with a woman who had NPD and did all she could to drive me to suicide. It was the best feeling in the world and I fell hard then I started to see the truama and I would be so nice and bring it up so softly and make sure to not go overboard with anything but the second I started caring she went into flight she avoids me now I’m always here instantly when she is ready it ducks it always on her time. When she leaves my house it may be the last time I ever see her it’s so frustrating
i have a question. i have lived with an extremely narcissistic and someone who would constantly gaslight me. i have severe issues with change and it affects me to the point where if something changes in my schedule then i will lash out on friends and others why does this happen? is it because of the trauma from my dad?
I have a boyfriend whose parents are alcoholics, father is an co-alcoholic. Oh the opposite, he has a lot of anger and quick temper. His anger is somehow consistent and he tends to blame everyone around and never apologizes, even if he is wrong. On the opposite, he doesn’t ask me what I want – he tends to push me to do what he wants…so it is probably the opposite spectrum .
Ok but recently having a spot of therapy, they don’t let you talk about your past so how do you heal if your not able to speak about it? I want to put that part out of my life … so I don’t have another heart attack. Anxiety, worry, anger, these have been my companions for 50 years and I got to tell ya between them and the negative thoughts I’m worn out ! I would like to know your recommendation or perhaps a previous article ?
Pls someone answer me My dad is a horrible man hes a raging alchemy,he emotionally abused for me years and manipulated me into not telling me anyone for years he’d always threaten to punch me and hed chase me around his flat and i would hide and hed say “where r u, im going to find you” hed drunk drive me and punch walls and basically just crazy and recently he got took into police custody (idk why) but he always gets in fights and stuff but they didnt arrest him, he got sectioned and is now in a phyc ward… but when his parents my gma and gdad went to his house to take his dogs (since he wasnt there) they found that the floor was covered in his own sick and poo and i went to his house on Christmas and i went in his kitchen and when i bent down by the door that leads to the landing it stank of human poo and also his place was trash there was pizza boxed everywhere and alcohol everywhere I just want to know…why was he pooing on the floor..how was there poo all over his floor…..u dont think my dogs ate it do u…? Bc my dogs licked my face.. Also child protection services called my mum and said me and my brother r never allowed to be alone with him bc hes a threat and vrry dangerous and we aren’t allowed to see him.
My wife. But that was some special case. Me. My marriege is a nightmare. I am being accused,projected, she tells me that nobody likes me, doesnt appologize. Manipulates me. Escalate conflict on purpouse. Everything I said or done is being used by my wife during quarel to hurt me even more. She is always the victim. My wife doesnt have a problem being angry at me. She has no problem in manipulating me into angre and rage. It is not truth what U say. My father drunk and my wifes fathe was a drunk and we are on oposite spectrum of actions. Also she is realy about her health and I am not.
I have been drinking alcohol since I was 10 years old, I’m 17 now and I got almost 6 months to turn 18. I hate my fxcking life, no one is to be blamed but my school, I was introduced to it in middle school and I’m proud to say that I work and get more money than I need; but I still see myself as asshole because I’m spending money on alcohol more than spending it on clothes and stuff mfs my age need… Idk how to fix this, I mean working out is the thing I mostly do after drinking, my body looks more advanced than it should be (Those were not my words). Anyways, if anyone would wanna help with advice, I’m glad to know from professionals.
This is not completely correct, that children of alcoholic parent/s don’t tell the truth. Please be more carful about what you say! True they may be “people pleasers”, but this does NOT equals to not be honest, tell the truth. It also stigmatises these victims in a negative way. I don’t think you understand the damage this can cause. Some of the things you say are correct, but not the part of “not telling the truth”!
Family & parental violence is much the same. WW2 was our lives 7 lost kids! Rage-aholic child physical terrorizing of her scapegoats- mum with 7 kids but also extremely Narcissistic; dads WW2 & Great Depression added layers of trauma with money, communication, never safe to speak or ask, just jump high military March March stiff upper lip layers.
Both mom and dad were addicts off and on over the course of my childhood. Throw in parents also diagnosed one manic/depressive and other multiple personality disorder. Add a big dose of narcissism and how could I not identify with all 10 of these. I just think this is normal behavior for everyone. Thank you for being kind and illustrating how this is learned coping behaviors. I need to start the work to adjust.