In Nevada, filial liability is mandated if there is a written agreement to pay for care, and the child has control over and is responsible for their own debts. Although federal health law allows young adults to stay on their parents’ plan through age 26, they are generally responsible for their own debts.
Relatives are generally not liable for debts after the death of a parent, except for their spouse in some states. Filial responsibility laws are legal provisions that may impose a duty on adult children to financially support their parents, especially in cases of medical care. More than half of all states currently have laws making adult children financially responsible, but there are certain circumstances where children may have to pay off the debts left by their parents.
In most cases, children are not legally responsible for any debt their parents incurred during their lifetime. Adult children may be legally liable for their parents’ nursing home or long-term care bills if the parents decide it’s an obligation. Most adult children do undertake responsibilities for their parents as they age, especially if their parents’ abilities wane.
The age of majority is set at 18 years, and the child who has reached the age of majority is typically unaware of their parents’ financial situation until they step in to help manage money or begin the probate process. Adult children typically don’t inherit debt from parents after passing, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
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Does a child inherit parent debt?
If a parent dies, their debt doesn’t transfer to their surviving spouse or children. The estate, the property they owned, is responsible for the remaining debt. A representative uses the estate’s assets to pay outstanding debts, rather than having to pay out of their own wallet. If the estate doesn’t have enough money, the debts might go unpaid. Inherited debt repayment varies by debt type, with secured debt handled differently than unsecured debt.
Should adult children contribute to bills?
Rent money is crucial for both parents and adult children in the long run. While parents may feel that being their children’s financial support pillar is the right thing to do, it is essential to prepare them for their own living costs. By teaching them to pay rent, they will learn responsibility for their financial wellbeing and be able to take care of themselves when you are no longer with them.
Messing up financially might be beneficial for adult children, as they can save faster if you are financially stable. However, this requires control or trust from you. If you control their finances, they may not learn wise spending habits and may face trouble later. Trusting them also exposes you to the risk of them taking advantage of your kindness or making unfavorable decisions.
Should parents financially support adult children?
Dychtwald emphasizes that financial dependency is detrimental to adult children and their parents. Parents should ensure they have sufficient retirement funds, while adult children should be financially independent. While parents may want to help their children financially, a study from CreditCards. com shows that nearly 3 in 4 parents with adult children help their grown children with their finances. However, this arrangement can pose a potential danger to both parents and adult children.
Do children owe their parents money?
Children are not beholden to their parents in any way, including with respect to respect and love, as they did not choose to be born into this world.
How to deal with an irresponsible adult child?
When an adult child makes poor life choices, it can be challenging for parents to blame themselves and try to “fix” their lives. To help, set clear boundaries, listen and communicate, don’t panic over emergencies, give emotional support appropriately, protect your time and schedule, don’t enable bad choices, and preserve your financial well-being. If you need help dealing with your adult child’s poor choices, schedule an appointment with Dana Group for counseling. The bond between parent and child continues and changes over the years, and no parent is perfect, but you likely did many things right during their formative years.
What to do if your adult child is in debt?
Parents can help their adult children with debt by supporting their efforts to pay off their debt. For instance, grandparents can assist with childcare while parents work extra hours to pay off debt. This helps the adult children to help themselves. For example, when a family was struggling to pay off six figures of student loan debt, their in-laws allowed them to live in their basement rent-free. Creative solutions may vary depending on the situation.
Am I responsible for my father’s debts when he died?
When someone dies with unpaid debts, the debt should be paid from their estate, which is often the property left behind by the deceased. If there is no estate or the estate cannot pay, the debt is generally not paid. Shared debts may be responsible depending on the situation, such as being an authorized user on a deceased person’s credit card account, being joint account owners, or borrowing money as a co-signer.
In community property states, spouses may share responsibility for certain marital debts, and in some states, parents and spouses may be responsible for necessary costs such as healthcare. It is important to remember that you are not responsible for someone else’s debt.
How to get adult children to be financially responsible?
Parents play a crucial role in their children’s lives, providing lifelong support. However, the transition from childhood dependence to adulthood independence presents unique challenges, both emotional and financial. Traditionally, parents provide financial support until young adults reach adulthood, but societal and economic factors have extended this timeline into their 20s and 30s. Rising education costs, housing expenses, competitive job markets, and the increasing cost of living make it increasingly common for adult children to rely on their parents for financial assistance.
To navigate the complexities of financially supporting adult children, it is essential to ask critical questions and establish healthy boundaries. This includes sharing goals and challenges, defining expectations, and encouraging independence.
Am I responsible for my parents debt?
Parents are not responsible for their debt, regardless of whether they inherit assets under their estate. The estate must settle any debts before inheriting. Children often share financial responsibilities with aging parents, such as medical and housing costs. Unilateral debt is held and paid by the individual who took it out. A financial advisor can create a personalized financial plan for budgeting and savings goals. When an individual dies, their debt and other liabilities pass to their estate, which can vary depending on state law and marital status.
Should parents help adult children financially?
It is of the utmost importance to impress upon adult children the necessity of attaining financial independence through their own efforts. Financial assistance should be regarded as a means of facilitating this goal, rather than as a form of gratuitous support.
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Gifts, sure. Their house burns down, sure. Paying adult kids’ cell phone bills, living at home, etc. NO. Having kids is not a lifetime financial responsibility. You raise them to be adults and send them on their way. That IS the point. Are your kids going to pay for your retirement when you’re broke? In most cases, no.
Great article, my 30 year old son is constantly looking for money, i shut the bank 6 months ago and should have done way before. My 27 year old daughter never asks for money and never has, she only ever asks for advice and guidance and i am happy to give her my time and expertise. I am 65, i moved out of my parents house at 23 when i finished university, over the 42 years since i asked my parents for money just once, our heating system broke diwn and we did not have the money to repair it due to cutbacks in wages when the 2008 recession hit, i agonised over asking them but they were delighted to help.
I am beyond blessed that my mom made me go through my hardships when I didn’t want to. She said it was hard at moments because she wanted to hug me and protect me, but I would have never learned what it’s like to experience how to go through hardships. The moment we turned 18, my mom said you’re either in school or you’re out. If you want to live with her, you pay rent and abide by her rules. Very happy how she didn’t give in to me at times because I learned. Now I’m living on my own at age 24 and completely surprised my little sister that I moved on my own without any financial help from mom.
Honestly it’s the newer generation of parents who are crippling their kids. They give them EVERY thing that comes out, including money. These kids are being raised with instant gratification syndrome. They don’t know what it is to work for something and they don’t know how to problem solve when things happen.
My father when I was a kid he once said that it was preferable for people to leave their kids well educated with no inheritance than leave them uneducated with millions in inheritance. He said a good education and lessons in how to be productive, the skills to be successful, those can’t be taken away that easy and money could. RIP my dad.
I think letting your 25 year old kid live at home is an awsome advantage to give them as long as they’re working hard and saving/investing for their future. If they’re taking advantage and playing article games all day then get them the heck out. But I know lots of people living with their parents even in their late 20s because it’s tough to rent and save for a down payment on a house at the same time. Atleast where I live the cost of living vs average wages doesnt really match unfortunately.
What if you had a father that wasnt around and never paid child support? He owed $150,000 in child support for 3 kids that he never took care of. Never bought you anything important. And never helped you be financially stable before moving out. I moved out with a bf, it ended up being an abusive situation and i got pregnant without plan. He told me that i couldnt move back in when i needed his help. Hes never offered to really even help me as an adult either. Never helped me as a child. Never did what he was supposed to do as a dad. I had a single mom with 2 siblings who was abusive towards me. So discuss abusive parents and deadbeat dads because i think thats a completely different situation…..
Blended families are very tough when you both don’t see eye to eye on parenting. I see so many games being played by kids in blended families. I’ve experienced so much and follow Dave’s rule of never saying anything to the wife’s kids but it is tough. Kids don’t respect you and basically treat you with disrespect.
I don’t know why but this reminded me of a law school case involving John Paul Getty’s will. He used it to manipulate people around him, executing 21 codicils (amendments) between the original will and when he died. Make him unhappy, you’re out. Make him happy, you’re back in. This question obviously isn’t that but the Getty example shows how intergenerational transfers can cause headaches.
I don’t agree with never helping your children financially. It depends on the situation. If they are irresponsible then no. If they fell on hard times and they are responsible, then help them. Otherwise, it would be morally selfish and wrong. Also, never give at your expense but if you are willing to sacrifice, it doesn’t make you wrong or a bad parent if you don’t.
What if the “kid” works and does fine by theirself and the parents are rich and give him some money monthly that they dont need neither the son asks for it or needs it its just a little extra that goes in luxuries. Son works full time and lives completely independently and the what the parents send doesnt impact their monthly income or lifestyle in any significant way
Not to mention picky employers regardless of unemployment rate to the point where they even complain that they don’t get the workers that they want and they are willing to go as far as bringing the whole nation down but only hire if the person matches their ever increasing list of requirements from higher levels of experience and graduate school.
My parents were unable to pay for my college but they were able to allow me to live with them rent free while I achieved both my Bachelors and Masters Degrees. This allowed me to graduate debt free and this gave me a serious leg up in the world. I did not move out of my parents’ house until I was 27. However, my parents gave me such a blessing by allowing me to stay with them and save money while I was in school. I love my parents so much ❤️
When I was 14, I went every Saturday and did yardwork on 4 different people’s yards. I would mow the yard, edge the walkway, driveway, and gutters, then blow everything off. I used a PUSH mower and hand held blower and I walked to all these yards. I started at 8am and was done by noon. I charged $40 a yard and gave my dad $5 a yard since I was using his hardware and gas. I did this one summer (June-August) and had $850 in my account. Spent $250 on new school clothes and my first pair of name brand shoes (Nike Air Force Ones)!
I bought my first house at 27, it was a fixer. I lived in my parents basement for about two years while I made the house livable. Had to do it myself(with Dads help) as I certainly couldn’t afford to pay anybody to fix it. I haven’t had to pay rent since I was 24 and being able to not pay rent while literally building equity into my house was a game changer for me. Almost 20 years later and it’s a nice little rental property for me.
I’m in the middle. My daughter worked part time when she was 15 and 16 years old. But at 17 and 18 years old school was to much. So we told her to focus on school. She graduated in the top 10 in her class . She got accepted to the university she wanted to go. She only works in the summer now and helps me out on her Christmas break. She ended up getting a full scholarship.
I agree Dave.!!! I have a 24 year old that gets up every morning & comes to work with his parents & paints cars all day. He hates when people say “this next generation is lazy”. He is far from lazy as he has some 14- 16 hour days painting. BUT- the difference is he was raised like his parents were with the mindset- If you want something- work for it!
My sister is a CPA and she says this is common. Lots of young adults spend too much on useless things, then expect mom or dad to help. Most know how much or imagine how much they will “get as an inheritance” and think they should have it now. They think somehow mom and dad will survive. Once a parent dies, they want the surviving parent to move into an apartment or nursing home and let them have it all. Moms are the biggest problem, wanting to protect their especially adult sons from real life. If dad interferes he will have to live with a wife who is angry and a “Karen”.
We made a rule in our house when my daughter was little. “If you throw a fit you automatically don’t get what you want.” The other rule is the word “Deserve” is not uttered in our house. Nobody “Deserves” anything that word exudes entitlement. If you haven’t EARNED it then it’s not yours. I’ll help set my daughter up for success but once she is out in the world and we turn her loose she gets to sink or swim. Hopefully we taught her enough different strokes to get where she needs to go.
Some parents are at the age where they need taking care of, some cultures live several generations in the same yard. Some parents have medical issues, some adults living with parents finish school without huge student loans as their foundation – not all adults living with their parents are leeches and lazy😢
Family called us “Drill Sargents” because we made our kids get up and do weekend chores on Saturday mornings. Cut the grass, edge the lawn, cut the bushes, etc. Now our oldest is a college graduate with his own apartment, a retirement plan, and an emergency fund. Their kids can’t keep a job but somehow can play the game all day.
This generation has suffered two recessions, pandemic, mass layoffs, an astonishing rise in higher education, a never ending war. Currentlycars prices are ridiculous, housing is out of control, prices driving up in big part to what’s coined as greedflation. But yes, the problem is we don’t know hard work! Should have known! For the first time in our history we’re economically worse off than our past generation but it’s the work ethic guys.
The guy who handed his kids jobs is telling people what to do. I think it all depends on the situation to be honest. These young people are expected to work hard, but not make enough to live. Then we yell at them for giving up. I would not work hard either if nobody is willing to pay me a living wage.
I grew up with my mom and even into my adulthood of twenties and thirties of living with my mom, but I always strove for paying half of everything. Half the rent, half the utilities, and my own bus pass. Every now and then, I remember perusal those daytime talk shows where adult children would live with their parents but rely on their parents to cover everything. These were fully grown, perfectly capable adult children living off of mom and dad.I thought that was disgusting back then and vowed to never be that person. I still think that’s disgusting.
The issue isn’t living at home. The issue is that you live at home, but don’t pull your weight. I am in my early 20’s, make $50k/year, and am living at home right now. I pay for “rent”, my own food, car insurance, phone, electric, and oil. I do my own chores and help around the house. Just under $1000/month. Living at home allows me to save half of my take-home pay, pay off debt, etc. I think this article talks about people who don’t do 75% of what I just mentioned.
All generations inherited their thoughts from previous generations!! I’m an 80s person, I don’t know where all these entitled, participation trophy kids are. Maybe because I grew up in a military household and lived in base housing, got my first job at Burger King at 15 making $4.25 an hour. Yeah there’s millions of people out here making terrible financial decisions. We all didn’t have parents who were financially savvy, good thing we all have access to this type of content! Very invaluable information, it’s helping me dig myself out from the hole I created!!
My wife and I disagreed on this issue. I did not enable my kids financially. Our neighbors thought we were in economic hardship because our kids were asking them if they needed any jobs done for them. Today my sons make well over six figures and my younger daughter is headed in the same direction. They are all financially responsible and abhor debt. My wife now says I was right. I never had any doubt! Kids need to learn hard work.
I’m a millennial parent. My kids don’t have to leave when they become adults, but they do have to start contributing like adults. Other countries stay together as a family not because they’re weak but because they’re just closer to each other. I want that. My sons will pay rent and utilities and buy groceries but they don’t have to leave if they will help.
This phenomenon is less about being lazy and more about enabling and the expectation that many kids must always have the best and newest stuff. They always fall back on the “participation trophies” and so on but much of this is this group wanting to always have the best- new cell phone, car, nicest house, etc.
I’m in my late 20s and live with my parents but I have no shame because during this time I earns my bachelors in applied math debt free and also now work as a remote developer and I saved like 80-90 percent of my take home pay because my parents let me live with them. I am beyond grateful and I wouldn’t have been able to do it if it wasn’t for their help. It’s not always the case that adults who live with parents are lazy. I think we all just do the best with what we are given.
Didn’t Dave pay for his kid’s college? Why does it matter what adults decide what they want to do with their money? They don’t know what their kids are going through. They don’t know if their kids can’t get a job, has a disability, or is going through some sort of hardship. I wish Fox focused on actual news instead of shaming people for what they do in their personal life.
My daughter is 46. She was on her own and working for over 20 years. She had 2 strokes, and is waiting for SS disability. She’s been living off savings and occasionally perusal the neighbors’ cats. We did pay for car repairs once she was cleared to drive. She says she’ll give us back money when she gets disability. She has friends who have never supported themselves. Tina, Al’s wife
I work overtime at my job, attend school full-time and I still struggle without my family’s help. It’s extremely difficult to own a home for example and still pay other bills off of just retail/food service wages. My family helps me when they can and I attend school to eventually stand on my own and maybe even help my younger family members.
My dad was a general contractor. If I got in trouble at school, I got to go to work for him the next day without pay. (If I refused, he’d show me the door). I worked two jobs between 16 to 32.(either school and a job or two jobs when i was out of school.) I never took out a student loan. Only had a $3000 personal loan for a car (and no car payment since), and haven’t rented since 2008, and I’m a Millennial.
After graduating college at 21 nearly 10 years ago, I was told to look for a job and an apartment. It felt harsh at the time but it gave me a significant advantage in my life and career despite having an average GPA. I feel like your independence in your early 20’s is just as important as your college grades.
Agree almost completely. I wouldn’t be so flippant about how things were when I was young. My first car had no seat belts, but I paid for it. But, that was 50+ years ago. Today, I won’t buy a car that isn’t safe, particularly with the drug legalization in my State. Be careful not to discourage safety. Thanks
My parents taught me about work ethic by example. I started working at 16 making $1.25 an hour. Yes, that shows I am that old. Now I am retired and no debt except my mortgage which will be paid off in about eight years or less. I agree with everything Dave says. No kids to support. No one to take care of me in my old age except me.
I lived with my parents and helped them with bills up until I was 30. At 30, after saving my own money, bought my own property. Met my husband at 35, bought a house with him and got married at 37. We’re expecting our 1st natural, healthy baby this year. I’m 38 now. My hisband and I both brought assets to the table when we met. I can’t imagine dating/marrying a man who had his parents paying his bills.
Sorry, but the wage and cost of living crisis has everything to do with this issue. When the baby boomers and Gen Xers were in their 20s and 30s, a one bedroom apartment could easily be found across the country that was within the “25% or less of the gross income” recommendation. And their jobs often did not require college degrees. Now in 2023, unless you make $80k a year gross in a high rent state like NJ, where I live (and this is assuming you have no dependents), your rent will exceed 25% of your gross income. That’s a major issue.
In my family, its my ex wife that enables two of our sons. One of them is 32 years old and has never worked a day in his life. They were with me half the time and the requirement was to get a job after high school. My oldest never worked after school and decided since he was 18 he could stay at his moms apartment. My middle son from that marriage did the same thing for a year and decided that he liked money. He went on to learn how to clean boats and now has a business cleaning Yacht’s, which since we all live near the ocean he has a ready supply of customers. I don’t know how I messed up so bad. I have been working since I was 12. When I was married to my older kids mom I was working two jobs and sometimes doing side work to make money.
Damn, I’m jealous, wish someone would pay my bills! My parents made me get jobs to buy my own clothing and school supplies at age 11, then they threw out all my belongings when I turned 18 and went to college, telling me I could never come back. Somehow my younger sibling go to live at home until 30 and then convinced them to pay rent after moving out. Wtf.
I am currently 53 years old. When I graduated high school at age 17 my father sat me down. He told me…..you don’t have to do anything in life you don’t want to do. You don’t have to go to college if you don’t want to. However, he told me, you have one year and then you can no longer stay here. I am sure it seems harsh to todays young people, but I know that I can stand on my own two feet. My father said, what are you going to do if something happens to me and your mother and we die? What are you going to do then?
I’m seeing this more and more. Kids still living at home in their 30’s, parents paying all of their bills and letting them blow all of their money on stupid stuff. It’s basically parents not wanting their kids to leave the nest. I guess the kids are ok with this as they know they’ll get the house when the parents die.
The advice and criticisms on this clip can apply to some portion of the younger generation. However, Dave is ignoring a significant factor in this. The rising cost of housing and education, especially in relation to stagnant wages is a major factor in why younger people need help financially from their parents. Education and housing prices have sky rocketed, and those elevated prices come from somewhere – largely from the younger generation who are the ones going to college and buying/renting. A lot of the older generation already bought their homes when prices were lower. A degree in the 1980s cost $10k. The median cost to purchase housing was around $64K.
I work at school and many of the kids are aggressive and destructive! They run down the halls screaming and cursing and have very little self control! They write vulger stuff on bathroom walls and recently started stealing from classrooms as they walk/run down the halls! Many have no self control and plenty of bad attitude! The kids and some of their parents have physically attacked the other kids and the teachers! No wonder teachers are quitting by the droves! Lets not forget about all the school shootings… this is insane! Someone needs to be held accountable!
so many watchers here, I thought I would get some feedback. My son is hard of hearing and 23. For reasons right now he is living at home and just finished college. I charge him 25% rent off NET. He has an issue with lies and although we have continued to discuss this, when the lie always gets discovered I make him pay me 30%. He is too old to keep accountable in any other way. Moving out is not an option while his hearing is very bad right now. Nothing seems to faze him. Yes, I have been told by his siblings who are married he is afraid to tell me the truth. I am ok with that. Lying is a choice. Any ideas?
I’d demand to see their bills, and if I thought I HAD to help my child, I’d be very selective. If they weren’t working, I wouldn’t pay them a dime. Get 2 jobs, maybe 3. They have to be allowed to make it on their own. That’s what I did, and it wasn’t and still isn’t easy. I’m 73 yo and I can tell you it is not easy. I have to say no more than I’d like to. And yes, I paid for my college education.
Wow. This is sad. I never expected my parents to keep me. That’s why they helped me go to college. Give you’re kids roots then wings ! I don’t pay my kids bills either other than helping with college. I started working at 13 babysitting bc I wanted cash bc I wasn’t handed cash to just blow. A lot of my friends as teens also- we bought our own name brand stuff !
I look at it like this. If you are legit saving money and working a job to get a house one day, I don’t see a problem with staying at a parents house. Now it becomes a huge problem when they kid doesn’t do anything but still lives there free. In this day in age you are a fool to move out early. I actually think big governments want kids to move out to early so they become rent slaves.
I don’t agree with the notion that young adults and even adults living at home is bad It’s really a case by case basis. Living at home is one of the best choices I’ve made, even after graduating college I wouldn’t have paid off my student loans without it. It also helped me to focus on studying and getting into a lucrative career, as well as it has helped me build an emergency fund and invest some. I’m working on moving out now but the reality is that I’m in a better position than most of my friends who moved out early. It’s not 100% fair to compare millenials with previous generation in some aspects we have it hard people didn’t have the same student loans, housing prices are high, and a lot of us have seen multiple economic recessions. There’s a reason this generation is delaying marriage and starting a family more compared to previous generations.
Mommy and daddy have not paid a single solitary penny for anything in my life post college degree. They paid for the first two years of college and other then that, I’ve been on my own. I may view my parents as slightly stingy but, overall, thank you mom and dad, I’m truly independent and have been for decades. I don’t need mommy and daddy for anything. Okay, I like a cup of coffee with them on Sunday mornings. Yeah, okay, my treat. Jeez!
I wonder if there could possibly be a reason for this? I am sure it could not be the stagnant wages,inflation and ridiculous mortgage and rent. Mine is 20,I will pay every single bills of his until he is 24. It is literally the only way he can save enough to buy a house in these current conditions. He works and he saves and that is all I ask. He is already about to surpass my savings at 40,I was kicked out at 18,I wish I had this support when I was his age.
Dave Ramsey and a lot of people around his age like to call millennials and gen z lazy and entitled, when in reality lots of us were broke college students/recent graduates who are working and studying close to 14 hours a day making only $500 a month who can’t afford to move out when just a room costs at least $600 a month. I have a relative thats works for a homeless shelter as a case manager. A lot of the people that live there are migrants that illegally entered the US from the southern border. We, the US tax payer, provide them with housing, healthcare, dental, translation services, legal services, food stamps, transportation, childcare vouchers, even finding jobs and filling out job applications, and so much more! There was one Haitian guy who the state was offering an apartment too, rent and utilities all paid for a year as well as $30000 and retention of homeless benefits, if he and his family would move out of the shelter. He asked my relative “What’s going to happen after a year?”. When he was told he would need to support himself, he just decided to stay in the shelter. The entitlement is incredible!
I get what Dave is saying but his kids had college paid for by him, great, then jobs with him with a good salary. That’s also fine, but he didn’t really have his 3 kids “work” in others offices, with apartments and rent. He makes sure they are okay and grandbabies too. I’m not envious, I’m glad but he never did what he preaches.
I got my 36-year-old divorced daughter and her 7-year-old son living with me. I’m a widow living on my own. I supply her housing and babysit once in a while while my daughter goes to the store for a food run. She supplies everything for her and her child. I supply their housing. I do not think I’m enabling her. She’s working two jobs. One at home on the computer while her son is at school and/or sleeping. The other job she’s a waitress working when her kid is with his father. I don’t see how I could ever be an enabler.
My parents helped pay things in my young adulthood such as college and vehicle because my father was a bank loan officer and they did not want me to get trapped in debt. But everything I got from my parents was written down in spiral notebook and I was expected to pay it all back. I was very happy and excited to pay everything off that I owed my parents with I got my first salaried job.
They’re exceptions to this guys if your child calls you and says your grandchild or great grand child needs medical care and they need money to pay their deductible or you have one of your kids living at home who are disabled or sick and need 100% guidance and help. There are some situations where your parents need somebody living in the house so they can go do X and Y while grandma or grandpa are living there and need some assistance. It is one thing to ask for help when you are hungry and need money to keep your lights on you ask your parents for help. WHEN YOUR PARENTS PAY FOR EVERYTHING YOU DON’T LEARN ANYTHING!!! IT IS SAD!
Dave I’m disappointed in you. People work. And they work hard. Housing is unaffordable. Nobody is climbing a ladder with a torch and scraping paint making enough to afford a home. Those jobs start at maybe $20/hr. They’re working hard. But their pay hasn’t kept up. The numbers are everywhere and screaming at you but you refuse to see reality. It’s easier to say they’re lazy and want nice things. Everyone wants nice things if they’re working hard.
Dave gets plus three points for the Call of Duty line that was actually funny. I think it depends on how it’s implemented. My parents and I do a lot of stuff for each other back and forth It’s kind of communal. For instance I helped him redo his yard after he retired because he wanted to plant new trees, dig up old bushes, new edging around the house with bricks, etc… he tried to give me some money and of course I didn’t take it. Well then I needed three trees cut down in my backyard because it was messing with my septic tank drain lines and he paid for it which it was over $1,300. Didn’t ask for his help but he said I got it and you helped me so why not. But of course I don’t think that’s what you’re talking about here. We also take vacations together because, one we enjoy each other’s company and two you can get a better place and save money because you’re dividing the costs up four ways instead of two
Parent used to want their kids to attain a better level of living than they had. Now they have allowed their kids to never encounter pain, loss, failure, or hardship. Not sure what happened where these parents decided to raise a generation of spoiled, entitled, enabled, fragile babies that will melt once their parents are dead or too old to bail them out. Frightening…
Dave lets be real you can afford anything your a MultiMillionaire and by the way let’s be real your daughter rachel bought a Tesla becuase she came from a Wealthy, Rich, High Educated Family some people in life have it lucky but some dont, their is a labor crisis becuase corporations dont pay fair wages
I agree and disagree with Dave. I absolutely agree that my generation of millennials have forgotten how to do hard work. That is absolutely true. However, the way my generation was pushed into going to college and taking on debt was an absolute disaster for us. Millennials and generation Z kids have to stop going to college. Unless you’re going to be a doctor, lawyer, etc. Then you shouldn’t be there.
For some families it is a cultural thing. If you never marry you take care of your parents and continue to live with them when they’re old in some cultures. There’s actually nothing wrong with multigenerational households as long as everyone is on their purpose, they are a great way to help people get ahead financially. It’d be different if they were just being bums, but personally I don’t see ANYTHING wrong with parents supporting their kids while they work and save money aggressively and/or go to school to become something.
For those of you who come from other cultures where you live with your family until you get married, that is completely fine and not the problem here. The problem is that many young Americans are too lazy to work hard and pave their own way. They would prefer to live off of their parents for their entire lives and the parents are allowing this.
I think if the parents and adult child make a contract to live at home so they can get a debt free degree, OR to save the down payment for a house, this is valid. HOWEVER. There needs to be a deadline for the degree or down payment to be met. Also, the adult child should pay for their own car/phone and possibly chip in for utilities and groceries as well as household chores—just the same as they would if they lived with room mates. That way it’s win-win.
Well let’s put it this way. I’m 32 years old now and ever since I got my first job my dad has not had to pay any of my bills and this is like from the age of like 19 I graduated high school at that age don’t judge me i’m a dyslexic mother, fornicator. But with help from accessibilities I got two year degree and now I’m doing OK. I really think that parents paying their adult children. Bills is ridiculous. And yes it needs to stop.
Millennial here and don’t live off the folks. Hard hands and a blue collar job that pays great. I appreciate all my folks did for me but wouldn’t tolerate them paying for me. These single people mooching off mom and dad need to have a family and learn how to support themselves. A large caveat though: housing prices have risen at twice the rate of wages since the 1950s and that is largely due to the bad decisions of baby boomers and the people they put into office.
What about the women (i.e. daughters) in the world who are unmarried. Are they supposed to expect their Father (parents) to pay for their bills until they get married and then expect their husband to pay for everything OR are does the bible indicate that they should be able to stand on their own two feet just like the sons? There are more people choosing not to get married until later in life, so shouldn’t parents also be teaching their daughters that they need to stand on their own so they can contribute to marriage?
Parents paying their kids college tuition, biggest scam going! Why should 50 year old people dip into their retirement to pay ANYTHING for a person classified as an adult? Saps all. Kids can pursue scholarships, join military, or like my generation, work 2 jobs to pay tuition. Any parent paying for college tuition should offer to pay rent for same amount of time for the young adult that decides to get a job, and actually fly. Otherwise, parents are just paying for bragging rights…
My parents, the amazing incredible people that they are, are allowing me to live at home rent-free while I go to college. I pay for my insurance, car, and everything else, and it’s allowing me to cash flow school so I can graduate with no debt and have a great start to my life. There is no blessing like parents who can help you out and still teach you the value of hard work and putting in the man hours to build your life.
I was born in 1980 so I am a very young Gen X or a very old millennial. Want to shout out to the grown children paying their grown parents’ bills! It goes both ways. My parents gave me NOTHING since I left home at 18 to go to college but money definitely flowed from my hand to my parents and younger sisters (because my parents were not in a position to help them).
Here’s how it worked for me, not in any particular order: I wanted to go to college at a certain place for a certain thing. Despite being over age 18, Mom did not allow it to happen because “They don’t plow the roads up there.” So, I ended up going to college closer to home for something different and it was a useless degree and it effectively effed me over for a decade+. I think we received a measly 15 inches of snow that winter. In the process of looking for jobs, I inquired with Dad about getting a job where he worked and he responded in such a way that I didn’t have what it takes, as he threatened that the entry level jobs are going to require me to literally shovel saw dust… as though an attempt to scare me away from working there. Also, while looking for jobs, I had other relatives that perhaps could have got my foot in the door and they gave me a similar “you don’t have what it takes” because it requires more physical exertion than I would have been capable of. Right now, in 2023, all a person has to do to get a decent job is show up. I have been lead to believe that back in the 1960s, that’s all people had to do. I wasn’t around then, so I cannot verify that. In 2000-2014 or so, I determined that it was not the case, as it was all about experience and/or a college degree. It is my belief that the boomers started retiring at an accelerated rate in 2020, so that emptied a lot of job positions and now the new generation entering the workforce aren’t stepping up to the plate.
Would love to hear your input on this mentality Dave- I have heard several older folks that pay for their kids say they are doing it as their inheritance; meaning, they would rather give their grown kids their inheritance now so they can actually see them enjoy it as opposed to after they are gone. Thoughts?
When I was very young, 1965ish, my mother told me the end of the world (society) will be at hand when the children rule. As I’ve now grown older to understand what she meant, and realizing that it is just the nature of humanity in general, and that this has happened countless times in history, I see it coming. Remember to count the term “children” also refers to elderly who still think money grows on trees, or no sensibilities about real life. (Liberalism).
I can be mistaken but he’s ok with parents dropping 80k+ for kids to go to school for 4 years and have parents fund the entire thing but how day a kid stay with there parents to earn a degree sense there parents didn’t fund there college and leave the home right after while paying for all there bills and rent + utilities etc.
Thanks for this info .. if the have thoughts to send out check for inflation the better sooner. Let’s be honest, is so wrong for a person to work so hard and get paid Low .. prices of things increase with time, well great article by the way I wish this reaches our superiors who make this happens . Could have been another story of mine if I didn’t speculate in the right investments to make me a stable American.. # cryp to 🙏🏼
I work with a girl that is almost 30 and married living in their own place and their parents help them pay their bills. She will text her mom and ask her for 20 bucks. Her mom sends it to her. When there is an opportunity for her to get more hours, she doesn’t want them. Of course why would she? Mommy bails her and her husband out. We have a whole group of people that once their baby boom parents are dead, they will all end up homeless. There is no way they will be able to survive. Even if their parents leave them money. These people will spend it in no time because they have no financial skills, motivation, determination, or integrity to ever be able to take care of themselves. Unfortunately, this is going on more than we even realize.
IF you are wealthy enough supporting your child with a basic place to live is fine. So if thats what you want you are directly paying the bills required for that place to live. Don’t hand them cash… pay the bills yourself. If your child wants anything more than a place to live, they can get it on their own. The state will provide food and basic medical to those incapable or unwilling to work. I really don’t care how old your child is, as a parent it is ALWAYS your job to make sure your children have a safe place to exist. Most will take this apon themselves in adulthood, but we can’t act like every child is capable of supporting themselves.
Parents wanting to help their children and to see them fail is not THE cause for labor crisis is a symptom of many other things. There are different levels of support here, some basically pay all bills for 30+ years old, other just help with insurance or car, etc. Making the parents the cause of the worlds current situation is sinply ignoring tons of other factors
This is one of the only messages with which I wholeheartedly disagree with. The young responsible adult with parental support will outcompete the young responsible adult without parental support every single time. If you can live at home, do so while you don’t have a serious relationship or marriage. Save all the money you can or/and become as good as you possible can in your job/career with the extra time. You will become a greater asset to your community, family, and future generations that way. Not having to pay for rent, becomes extra money and extra time you can use to further the wealth of the family. This is how family businesses have historically being built and there is no difference between those and any other job in this aspect. Surely, that job delivering pizzas will pay for rent, Dave. But I could be using that time to finish my degree a year sooner and make a multiple of what I make delivering pizzas for an entire whole year.
This may sound mean but because of politics, I no longer have a relationship with my only child. She thinks we are supposed to be equal and I told her no, we will never be equal because we have a parent child relationship and there are other issues we disagree on. It saves me lots of money because I was paying her car insurance and I don’t have to anymore. When she asked me about it, I told her to get a job. I worked parttime when I was in college and you can do it too.
They don’t want to struggle they don’t want to sacrifice They feel they have a right to your money and you should pay their bills because you are the parent Stupid foolish let them pay theirs bills You save the money for if they get married graduation new house give some money for you you work for it while they where sleeping or hanging out
It is a minority of adult children who are supported by their parents. There are a vast majority who are making great strides at securing their future independently. If 25% of millenials are supported by parents, we should focus on the awesome 75% who are working their butts off and progressing in a healthy way.
My bf is doing this, his adopted mom feels bad for him and sends him money every week. I helped him out here and there and stopped after feeling drained. He doesn’t nothing to earn what he asks for and i am not about to be his other bank. He claims he can’t work due to his bipolar disorder and adhd… he gets good medication for it and SSI benefits. He expects to live off that for a while even though it just covers rent and one or two bills. I’m scared he’s just using me but he cried and said he’s not.
Don’t get me wrong, I agree for the most part. But it is always a bit ironic to hear someone say, “back in my day…(insert complaint about modern society)” Yeah. Back in your day you made all these laws, procedures and social constructs; forced them onto the nation and now are mad about the outcome?
Parents may feel the obligation to pay because they’re naturally and always be parents. But let’s talk about the kids – why the heck would you let your parents take on your burden? I’ve never taken a dime from my parents since my first job at 15 in McDonald’s. Not that my parents couldn’t afford to give me money at that age, but I wanted to be independent and not be a burden to my parents who have worked so hard for what they have.
This seriously must be a foreign thing. I’ve never heard anything about something like this around my parts here. What I DO hear about often is parents chipping in to pay for the house down payment or something though. Still, my dad never paid nothin’ for me. As soon as I finished school I had to start paying rent. This rent, over the years, also kept going up the longer I stayed there. I had to make the money for my own place myself and there ain’t no way I gotta go asking my dad for money, it won’t go well. Heck, I even paid most of my school myself. Started working summers since I was like 15. And yes, at that point we still got properly graded in school. Numerical points, no participation trophies.
I think it all depends on your priorities. If you want to fly the nest and struggle, giving 50% or more of your take home pay on rent for the sake of being a big boy/girl, that’s fine. But staying home and building wealth is fine, too. My parents would rather I invest in myself than give my money to some landlord. My networth wouldn’t be 75k right now if I gave 50% of my pay to rent.
I agree with most of your points but…. When you see the hungry eyes or the poor condition of your grandchildren, any grandparents would forget about what their son or daughter do or have done to create the bad situation. Temporary help is okbased on needs is ok for my children but no pre conditions for my grandchildren until they turn into adults haha