Parents should not feel blamed for their child’s behavioral problems, but rather empowered to change their parenting strategies and implement changes that can result in long-lasting improvement. Bad behavior cannot be solely blamed on parents, as they have a significant influence on their children’s values and behaviors. Children of authoritarian parents are at an increased risk for anxiety and depression, exhibit more disruptive behavior, and are more likely to have a difficult childhood.
Children of authoritarian parents are at an increased risk for anxiety and depression, exhibit more disruptive behavior, and are more likely than other kids to have a difficult childhood. A new book argues that children are less disciplined than ever, and there are several culprits that contribute to this.
When children’s behavior defies community standards or contradicts good family values, parents may feel judged, ashamed, helpless, or afraid. Psychological defense mechanisms such as blaming parents can be more dangerous for mental health than a traumatic past experience itself.
Parents should evaluate themselves as a parent by asking four questions:
- “My child’s behavior is a reflection of their struggle – it’s not a reflection of me”.
- “My child’s behavior is a direct reflection of the parents and how they raise them”.
- “It isn’t necessarily the parent’s fault when a child exhibits challenging behavior, it is usually a lack of skills”.
- “Blaming yourself for your child’s behavior makes you feel terrible, and it doesn’t help your child”.
- Hold your child accountable. Your child’s behaviors are not because you are a bad parent; they are struggling with certain skills and you don’t have a toolbox to help them yet.
In conclusion, parents should not feel guilty for their child’s behavioral problems and should feel empowered to change their parenting strategies.
📹 6 Child Behavior Problems That Are Parents’ Fault
Do your kids lie, make excuses, and yell all the time? Do they cuss or are they rude? Ever wonder where your child learned it all?
Who is responsible for spoiled child?
Overprotective parents can lead to unhealthy attitudes towards authority and rules in children, causing them to act out more than their peers. They may prevent children from learning to deal with consequences and take responsibility for their actions. It is crucial to stick to expectations for consequences and punishments, as empty threats can prevent children from fully feeling remorse and taking responsibility for their actions.
Is my child’s bad behaviour my fault?
Parents often fall into the trap of taking responsibility for their children’s behavior, which can lead to negative consequences. This is because they may feel responsible for their child’s actions, but it’s crucial to understand the patterns and work on changing them. In this interview, James Lehman explains the ineffective roles parents often fall into and emphasizes the importance of identifying what they’re doing to help themselves and their child change.
It’s not about who’s to blame, but who’s taking responsibility for their child’s behavior. By understanding and working on changing these patterns, parents can help their children grow and develop better relationships with their children.
Can bad kids come from good parents?
The story highlights the paradoxical nature of parenting, where a child can be raised well by good people and turn out badly, or vice versa. Parenting is an influence, and one’s job is to maximize the positive aspects. However, even the most positive parenting does not guarantee a positive outcome. Mick Jagger’s Theorem suggests that you can’t always get what you want. Children need to learn this reality principle early on, as those who grow up without it are likely to experience unhappiness and drama. Living with children should focus on diet rather than drugs for ADHD.
Who is the biggest influence in a child life?
Parents play a crucial role in their children’s development and personality, as they spend more time with them than any other adult. They model their values and likes/dislikes to their children, who pick up both good and bad habits. Role modeling can be an effective parenting tool, as it allows parents to be a positive role model for their children. However, it requires thinking ahead and self-control. Parents should also prioritize self-discipline, as children will follow suit when they become destructive in their own lives.
For example, parents should avoid hitting when angry, drinking and driving, or skipping class. However, it takes more effort and self-discipline for parents to practice their teachings by having appropriate ways of dealing with their own anger, not getting in the car after drinking, or taking off work claiming they are sick when they really just need a day off. Children look to their parents as setting the example, and they see why it is bad when they do the same.
Can parents be the only one to blame for a child’s misbehavior?
It is a fallacy to assume that parents are solely responsible for their children’s actions and behaviors. External factors, such as the influence of peers and the environment, also play a significant role in shaping a child’s conduct. It is essential that children have the opportunity to learn and grow through self-directed experiences.
Do bad kids mean bad parents?
It is erroneous to assume that a child’s misbehavior necessarily indicates a deficient parenting style. It is crucial to instill positive behaviors in children at an early age, provide them with the opportunity to make adjustments, and extend understanding and leniency. The equation “crying baby = bad mom” was previously employed to describe a deficient parenting style.
Who is responsible for children’s bad behaviour?
Parents play a significant role in shaping their child’s behavior, as most behaviors and mannerisms are learned at home and applied in the real world. However, schools and teachers also play a role in addressing inappropriate behavior. Teachers can identify the behavior and try to talk to the student, or they can call their parents to discuss the best solution. In conclusion, while parents are primarily responsible for their child’s behavior, teachers can collaborate with parents to supplement the learning process. Together, parents and teachers can be more effective in grooming children and ensuring they do not have behavioral issues.
Who influences a child more mother or father?
Research over the past 20 years has shown that both mothers and fathers have a significant impact on the relationships between their children. The quality of the mother-father relationship and the mother’s support play a crucial role in shaping the father-child relationship. However, both fathers and mothers-father relationships also influence the mother-child relationship, but the influence is less due to clearer conventions and role definitions, while fathers’ roles are more influenced by mothers’ beliefs.
Are parents to blame for children’s behavior?
Parents often question whether their children’s behavior can be attributed to their actions or if they are a bad parent. However, after 30 years of working with parents from various backgrounds, it is clear that there are few parents who consistently harm or encourage immoral, dishonest, and illegal behavior in their children. While some misbehavior is natural and expected, others are unrelated to parents. By honestly examining their parenting, parents can better recognize the ways in which they have a negative influence on their children.
Another issue parents often face is the expectation that their children will model adult behavior before they are mature enough to do so. It is crucial for parents to understand that there is a significant difference between ordinary, expected behavior and actual misbehavior throughout every stage of childhood. By recognizing the difference between expected and actual misbehavior, parents can better support their children and help them develop positive habits.
Are bad kids the parents’ fault?
As parents, we have a significant impact on our children through our words, actions, and presence. We pass on genes, experiences, and help them understand those experiences. However, we don’t need to blame or shame ourselves for our child’s behavior. We can remember times when we did the right things and our child acted wonderful, even when we made mistakes in parenting. It’s important to remember that our actions can have a lasting impact on our children.
Does bad behavior come from bad parenting?
Substance abuse, reckless behavior, and delinquency can stem from emotional turmoil due to inadequate guidance and bad parenting skills. This cycle of self-destructive behavior may persist into adulthood, leading to anxiety and depression. The National Library of Medicine states that harsh parenting contributes to negative outcomes such as externalizing behaviors, withdrawn behavior, trait anxiety, depression symptoms, depersonalization, interpersonal rejection sensitivity, anger, and poor health.
Hostile parenting involves frequent harsh treatment and discipline, which can be physical or psychological. This can involve shouting at children, routine physical punishment, isolating them, damaging their self-esteem, or punishing them based on the parent’s mood.
📹 6 Child Behavior Problems That Are Parents’ Fault
How to change your child’s behavior? Can you correct some bad habits in children? You may try to convince others that your child …
There is something that has been heavy on my mind that you may be able to guide me in the right direction. I just found your website, and I love it! I decided to take an inward look at myself a few years ago and make big changes for the sake of my then 3 year old son. He has really grew and had positive change. However- we are very worried about my stepson. When he is here he gets some of the structure that children and teens need to thrive. However, he is not here very much. As soon as we get him on a healthy sleep schedule, he goes back home. He says he wants to have a good sleep schedule, but always ends up pulling all nighters. They are overly permissive parents who kind of do their own thing all the time, and the kids are left to their own devices. They even took him out of school to do homeschooling so he has not even get that anymore. He has no drive or ambition to do anything, but I know it’s not his fault. We are not sure how to help. If we talk to her about it she’s overly agreeable. She will say she’s really worried about him too. We will tell her things that would help and she will agree, but the thing is she won’t ever take those actions. She will try for a few days and then get back up in all of her own things and then they are left to just play article games and watch articles 24/7. It just makes me feel so sad to see him melting away into the couch. His clothes will get really really dirty because it’s his responsibility to wash them. While it’s true that kids should take care of their own things when they’re old enough, it’s our job to remind them and make sure it gets done.
This was an amazing article, the laziness, and anxiety and communication skills sections def hit home as a child As a 20 year old that went through a household where they were yelled at, doctor visits, insurance, schooling, many important documents and stuff were all handled for me, and having a mother that rarely hung out with friends, what should I do to work towards healing those bad behaviors that have been deeply ingrained over decades?
look, parents out there…don’t ever take a bad mood out on your children. this will teach them that it’s okay to lash out at people and will start to become aggressive. This will cause problems such as the child won’t be able to make friends unless the people that they are making friends with is very understanding.
1. Do not beat your child, no matter how mad or frustrated you are. Time out and no games is for a reason. 2. Ignoring you child or swooning over the elder or younger children will make them feel hated, alone, or unloved. 3. Equality is essential if you child is the one to pick up fast on things. If you or a sibling does something and it gives them something good, then they will most likely follow protocol. But if you gift yourself or the other sibling something and they do the same thing and they don’t get anything, they will feel that you favor the child more, and that you don’t care for them.
Ah, my mom doesn’t really spend time with my brother and I like she used to. Nowadays, when we want to play a board game, she always says ‘No,’ or ‘I’m busy,’ when she isn’t doing anything but playing on her iPad. And she gets mad at me mostly for complaining that she rarely spends time with us. I stay in my room because she never wants to do anything fun with us anymore.
Let your child have privacy. A journal or something. It let’s them have a safe space they feel comfortable using. Don’t give them something and then claim it’s not actually theirs because you bought it. They’ll feel like a prisoner and like they have no where safe to go to. It certainly doesn’t encourage them to start confiding in you.
For #5 my mum would trick us. She would say she would get it for us and then once we were leaving she would tell the cashier to leave the toys behind. After we were in the car, me and my brother would always ask for our toys. My mum would then say “Oh yeahhhh… about those toys, I forgot them at the store. We’ll come back later Mkay?” We’d forget about it anyway. And that’s how she would always trick us.
You should have added children who: 1) Do NOT understand why mixed nationalities are together & comment negatively. They are being taught racism at home. 2) When they come into a business/home & kick the furnishings with their legs & pull/touch everything. It’s destruction of someone else’s property & being nosey! 3) How to treat animals with being gentle, care & respect. 4) A healthy diet & exercise will keep you healthy. 5) How to take part in chores around the house in & outside. 6) How to pay bills & a home budget. 7) How to save money for their future needs & wants.
Giving punishments/yelling when comforting and communication is needed (frustration, bad mood, etc.) makes confused and sad child, who learn that emotions are bad thing and should not exist = most times anxiety and depression kind of problems. Tired parent(s) should seek asap help when realizing somethings wrong and stop defending own bad behavior and complaining how hard is it to raise a child. Don’t dare to give “you’re hopeless and too difficult” card when child is just being child, learning etc. Otherwise child never tries to accomplish anything or develops problems when trying to show that card given is false. (example, Work-a-holic) It’s at the beginning of this article, “change own attitude first”. P.s. First born has good grades and manners, positive attitude and many friends. She’s raised without violence and abuse. 😉 This is for those defending hitting, spanking all that horrible stuff you shouldn’t never ever do to your dear child. Respect and fear are not same thing!
Number 1. suggestion READ TO YOUR KID EVERY NIGHT. (Let them pick the book.) I’m 13, but I have a 12th grade reading level, can read a 800 pg. book in a week, read 450 words a minute and have a 1400 SRI. I have the best vocabulary in the class. My brother has similar results. My mom read to me every night and I’m 100% sure that’s what made the difference.
I dont think trying to force your kids in doing certain things is good for example your kid might want to start a weird sport like ping pong you should try to force them in starting football or basketball just because u think is good give your child some freedom so it can make its own decisions with you guiding it ofc not desiding for it just guide it
Instead of being pressured to spoil them, say something like for example “Jay, if i buy you this toy, you know that you won’t get a sleepover/playdate with Max? Max will be really sad if I have to tell him you can’t come to his house.” this will possibly work as sleepover/playdates are basically free.
These kinds of articles are helpful. And I believe the problem is, most people, and that includes my own father, don’t watch these kinds of articles or do any kind of research for that matter before deciding to have kids. That’s really sad considering the enormity of the responsibility of raising a kid. It’s a huge responsibility which people take very lightly. Let alone doing research, many people are not even sure they want to have kids in the first place, but they end up having kids….Either to satisfy their spouses, or parents, or just because everyone else has kids at some stage.. I myself was in a relationship, and my partner wanted to have kids, but I didn’t want to…And I refused flatly, telling her that if I agreed to have kids just for her sake, I would be doing a huge injustice to our kids….But many people do succumb to the pressure, which they are unable to resist.
What amazes me is how I see kids correcting their parents on these sort of issues. I treated my Exes daughter as if she wa my own and tried to teach her these sort of things by both how I acted and admitting when I didn’t meet my own expectations. I was impressed with how well she got the social contexts and meanings behind acting appropriately and politely and how well her friends did oo when they were around adults who behaved appropriately. The interesting thing with my Exes daughter was that calong me out on doing this sort of stuff wrong became a fun game for the two of us but not so much for her mom being mo got called out a lot for bad behavior and double standards. Pretty bad when a 7 year old can call out someone who is in their late 30’s for bad social conduct more often than they themselve ever got call out on it.
Give them freedom, still be though, don’t ever slap ur kid, teach that if a stranger wants to give u candy or other foods without you in there, your kid is not allowed to take that, if your child is stressed about school, it’s better to take him somewhere nice, so he/she won’t stress, and tell that it’s not a good idea to stress out. Don’t put him in places he doesn’t want to go. (Except like school and like that) If he don’t want to go to school, let him skip that day, and walk together in city or in forest if possible. Tell him what might happen if don’t want to go in school, and what might happen if want to go to school. Those and many others worked on me great.
For some reason this made me cry.I got a lot of flashbacks of me when I was younger.My mom and dad thought that threatening and spanking was a good way for me to learn,be disciplined and doing the things they wanted me to do.But that only made me lie,curse,hate them and actually made me sneak out to my best friend’s house.I did those things because I wanted to live my life.They wouldn’t let me get out of the house unless I’m with them,wear shorts above me knees,they would slap my face when they wanted me to wake up.One time when I got really fed up with them,I almost cut my arm.I didn’t because I thought of my FRIENDS.I did what they wanted and they love me.i know they are doing all this because they want to protect me..but it was too much for me.Now they still spank me but I still loved them.
I will always remember that time when I was a kid and my mom went shopping with me and I saw something that I wanted but my mom said no. So I started yelling and crying, fell to the ground and didn’t want to get up and stop until she was ready to buy want I wanted. But my mom just didn’t pay attention to my silly behavior and just walked away into the next aisle. I continued until I got bored and stopped. My mom came back and as soon as I saw her I started crying again. She left again and after some time I stopped. My mom came back and asked me if I’m finished. I nodded, she took my hand and we continued shopping. I was mad about giving in but then I started to act as if nothing ever happened and I forgot what I had wanted. My mom knew how to handle this situation (I’m her fifth child after all) and I admire her patience. I never did something like this ever again because then I learned that my silly actions were pointless. Humans are some interesting and predictable creatures. 🙂
The most common problem I find is when the parents let their kids do things they shouldn’t be, such as today I was walking home from school and I heard a family talking, there was a young girl who looked about 4 and a boy who was about 8. I could tell she was a single mother as I see her most days. I heard her say to the boy: “Who the f*** broke the GTA5? Lad you where the last on it so no more fu*** PS4 for you, little sh** bag!” I was appalled as to what I had just heard a mother say to her young kids. A PS4!? At that age I was playing outside with my friends! Not playing a game for 18 year olds! Some mothers 😂
I know an adults mistake we’re merely just younger adults,sure we do need to learn the basics of life such as walking,talking,etc… But that does NOT give an adult the right to make every child seem like the idiots these small animated clips clearly show we are. I just wanted to write alot,not prove anything.😊
I don’t want kids cuz I hate kids I know that you suppose to learn then manners or something like that but in my opinion kids just get in the way sometimes and that’s why I hate kids if you had bills to pay or your in depth then why do you have a child in the way I would rather live by myself where is peaceful and quiet no women to deal with cuz sometimes you could fight with a women and just either break up or pay child support who wants to do that? just live by yourself when you live by yourself you will have a little bit more money to spend in good stuff but a women in the house arguing with you no thanks I would kick out a women or a child and just live by myself im not saying you guys have to live by yourself but it’s just an easier way to go on in life in my opinion
I have one: Do not violently argue with your spouse or another person without resolving it peacefully. If your child is to walk in on you or the other person screaming for what seems like no reason to the child, it can psychologically damage the child. This can be avoided if you tell the child that everything is okay and that there is no reason to be upset, or at least try to explain why there was an argument. My parents made the mistake of screaming at each other whilst I was only 5, and now I have a panic attack when someone even slightly raises their voice. I can’t handle yelling or arguing like an adult (usually).
I’m a kid… 6: I put my hand up so people know I want to talk to them, when they’ve done they let me talk. (I’m weird) 5: I’m good, I know you can’t have everything. 4: I’m polite, if I accidentally knock someone I say sorry. I always say please or thank you. 3: Sometimes… Although if I’m told to be quiet I’ll be quiet and not continue going on. 2: I’m a bit… clingy at times. I always like to be able to see my mum to know that if anything happens I’m safe. 1: I’m good around other adults, polite.
Something that I would like to point out as an educator. If a teacher, babysitter or grandparent tell you that your child is bullying, did something or said something wrong, don’t pull the ‘But not my child’ card. I have had more students then I care to have, whose parents wouldn’t believe that their child misbehaved, became violent or intrusive towards other people. They would rather hang onto the vision of the perfect child they want rather than focusing on the naughty one they do with the hopes that their behavior will magically change if you put all this faith into them. Let me tell you, it doesn’t work.
This list is relatively accurate. I have a comment about. Situtaion 5. When I was a children I once thought that water and food were free since they were basic necessities. As a result I’d often leave water running and use the hose to water garden plants like nothing. When they first told me it was not for free I was in disbelief because of the implications that would mean.
Teach your child to express there feelings no matter what they may be feeling. Because it helps so much in the long shot. My parents didn’t do that very well and when I became depressed I hide it for two years before finally saying something because I was scared they would be mad. So long story short just make sure to teach your kid to express his/her feelings and to not be scared to share them with you
1. Don’t hit your kids. Just because you got beat as a child and are “fine” doesn’t mean your kid will be too 2. If you were wrong in a situation, apologize to your child. It makes them feel like they are people too, and that when they are wronged they deserve an apology. 3. Yelling at your kids for no reason, I lied a lot because I learned that doing stuff like leaving my tv on got me a screaming session. If you want truthful kids don’t yell at them for breaking something like a plate, tell the tone more aware.
one thing I noticed when babysitting is how some kids cry over the smallest things. This is because as a baby, when they cried, their parents would come to serve the baby’s needs and become sympathetic, so they think if they cry, the adult will come to help the kid get their way to make them stop crying. So just something to bear in mind, teach your kids that if they are frustrated, they need to take a breath and calm down and vocalize instead of resorting to the waterworks to get your attention.
im a 12 year old kid I was walking out of a store yesterday when a young son maybe 5-6yrs old and a mother walked passed me, One of the sons said in a loud voice “Look at that boy’s silly face” ( talking about me ) I was tempted to reply with, “I’d watch my mouth if I were you” but i carried on walking instead In awe that the mum didn’t even correct him after because i was still in hearing distance of them when i left the store.
I want to state that, yelling at your child filled with anger and frustation for something will also change their behavior in the future – they will hate their own parent and typically switch to ‘yell’ at them instead, but then as based with my experience when I was a child – I began to understand as I got older, after they yell, they are filled with regret. It is a temporary attitude behavior for children or maybe permanent to adult and I’m really glad that I’m not one of the yelling short-temper adult, raging adults.. Just say, I’m not a parent yet. It is based on my experience as a child.
Saying “TV TV” sounds like something a baby would say when he or she doesn’t know how to say it like a regular person would. For any parents, make sure this scenario doesn’t happen: 2 year old: TV! TV! Mom: In mind: I watched that one Bright Side article saying not to say that, I will just do what it says No! 2 year old: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mom: I WILL IF YOU SAY PLEASE! 2 year old: Pwe- Pw- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mom: BRIGHT SIDE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
I have a cousin. She is 8 years old. I am 14. She is rude,bossy,stubborn,controlling and she acts like she’s my age! If I do anything I’m considered a show off by her. She brags a lot but if I say one thing good about myself she’ll be immature and call me a show off. Or she’ll say “you think you’re the best but you aren’t!” I deal with this by ignoring her, telling an adult, and telling her reasons. But it doesn’t work, she doesn’t listen to ANYONE. She also is a bully. She makes fun of people, brings them down and even makes people cry. She swears a lot as well, she brags about her looks and laughs at others looks and it’s so annoying. She’s very immature to. Her parents are to blame to. She has siblings and only SHE gets attention. Her dad is abusive and her mom takes a girl getaway every month for 1 week somewhere without her kids, and me and my family have to take care of them! How do I deal with this? How can I stop her?
Another thing: never take away a kids phone, their books, or their toys when they do something wrong. Most likely, they use it as a crutch and if you take it away, you are just making them feel isolated and not want to talk to you. also, if they say something along the lines of you only talk to them because they did something wrong, DONT YELL AT THEM. This only makes them drift away and if you wonder why they “never hang out with you” it’s because of that.
1. don’t give your child obvious cheaper and low quality things then yourself on simple things like cookies, fruit or even toothpaste… it will feel less important than others and get a real low self-esteem. 2. don’t shout at them for damaging clothes or other stuff by falling especially when the child says he/she is sorry. 3. don’t shout at them or complain on tasks they did that were not perfect but did their best on. give them feedback in small steps so they can improve. 4. don’t make them feel bad for crying about something bad (like a dead pet) she/he will start to hide her/his feelings. try to calm them instead. my parents did this to me and well… i have problems now… (sorry if this was written in bad english)
Something I’ve learned from babysitting is to let them have freedom, but set boundaries. For example, let them ride their bikes from the end of one block to the other, but not any farther than that. Another thing I’ve learned is to let them try to get things done on their own. You can show them how to do something if they’re struggling with it, but if you keep doing things for them instead, they’ll start to be dependent on you without even trying to do things by themselves. And one thing that’s very important is to teach them how to talk about their problems instead of letting them throw tantrums. Listen to their problems and try to find a solution that benefits everybody. Communication is the most important thing.
My top is what worsens my depression, if you set an example that shows ‘if you’re around, your parents mistake is your fault’, then you don’t want them to know that their the cause of your depression, otherwise you’ll be punished for life, instead, don’t make my Mom’s mistake yours, if you have a child that cares more about their mortal enemy than themself(for ex. Me), it may be because they get the concept of nobody except their great grandmother and great-grandmother care about them, they don’t see why they should (my case)
Problem with polite words: even as a child, and for other reasons still today, I think they are overused and therefore lose meaning, so as a child I always wanted to profe I’m thankful and then say it. So if someone gave me sweets to eat immediately, I would want to eat one and go “that’s delicious, thank you very much” but I never got the chance to because my parents or others would always go “whats the magic word?” immediately after something was handed to me
i”m just letting you know that it helped me understand not to say a bad word is to give them a warning first if they know how that if something is bad then they shouldn’t do it. also set a rule that they cannot repeat the word if thy hear it and just use a replacement word like “dang” or “shoot”. i’m 11 and it helped me!
Big mistake my parents make: Saying “because I said so.” when I ask why I can or cannot do something. I am at the age where it’s not that I don’t want to do something, it’s that I legit do not understand why they make me or prevent me from doing something. I would listen to them much more often if they gave me a better reason than “I’m your parent, so you have to listen to me no matter what”.
When I was younger me and my mom moved in with some people that didn’t let their baby play with other kids at the park so she became scared of other kids and they had these 3 hour “family” meetings everyday on the weekend and since my mom had to work she hardly spent time with me, and my room was just a corner of the house a curtain as walls and since it was just a curtain the baby regularly took my things but the parents new they just didn’t care. Sorry I’m venting…
One time when I was 4 I went to the beech and there was this lagoon thing with a tiny island inside that was perfect for me to play in. So I was playing and there was another 4-year-old there, and I’m not sure if the toys on the tiny island where mine or hers but, she was on the other end of the Moat, she threw a glob of wet sand in straight toward my face and after I just said “It’s ok! I’m still learning how to be nice to!” XD
The biggest problem an adult makes is: when your child constantly askes for the same thing over and over again even though you said no the first time. It’s probably because the parent has said no to start off with but then changed their mind and said yes. This teaches the child that if the keep asking you for something you might say yes.
There are some huge mistakes modern parents are making, 1) the ‘don’t say no’ rule, basically means instead of telling your kid no when they try to steal a toy or something, your u distract them with something else, like a toy that nobody else is using. THIS IT LITERALLY REWARDING BAD BEHAVIOUR! 2) coming down to their level. The idea behind this is to be on better terms with them. Bad idea, as they see you as an equal rather than a parent and thereby don’t respect you. Instead, do what had been done for thousands of years; stand tall when speaking with them to remind them whose in charge, and don’t explain everything either, teach them obedience and trust in you and benefit them for life, and no, this will not psychologically damage them, that’s nonsense
Dear Parents and Guardians of children under the age of 18, Here’s some advice from a 14 year old girl, if you want your child’s trust don’t lash out if a kid does something wrong. It just pushes them farther away from you, everytime my mother shouts or gets violent I trust her less than before she doesn’t understand the fact that I can be trusted. Instead of lashing out have a talk with them about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in your rule book. If this does not work tell them you are disappointed with them and that you want the best for them. -Brenna Worrell
For interrupting.. Person 1: So anyways, I was with Kayla, and- Me: AHEM Person 1: ANYWAYS, I was with Kayla, and we found this cute purse Person 2: Really? Person 1: Yes of c- Me: AHEMMM Person 1: Oh for gods sake, WHAT??? Me: Well I was just wondering- Person 1: Yes? Me: Are you secretly a serial killer. Person 1 and Person 2: .-.
Another problem: When there is a concert or a movie or a speech going on… DON’T BRING YOUR BABIES. Parents are always telling us, “Don’t bring that it will be distracting and rude.” Well then don’t bring your babies. People don’t like it when the attention is on someone else and not them in THEIR time to shine. If you don’t have a babysitter go to Care. Com or something.
Spanking is ok. I don’t care if you disagree, and won’t argue. I really don’t care if you think it’s wrong, because my opinion goes against it. I was spanked from ages 3-6, and it was for things like lying, not breaking things. It didn’t damage my relationship with my dad AT ALL, because I really really like him. After the age of spanking, I knew I was doing things wrong and stopped, so no more spanking was needed. It was only small things, in which I had to stand and face the wall for about 10 minutes. Spanking was a working punishment for me, and I basically don’t care if you give me reasons why it’s not ok. 🙂
I don’t interrupt conversations to the point I won’t even talk until they talk to me. When we went to the market and we were asked what we wanted I always asked for chips. I was labeled as extremely unhealthy. To be honest, I only tookchips because they were the cheapest. I didn’t even go for the high brand chips. Just whichever was the cheapest I could find.
I NEVER liked asking for things even if I wanted it. Unless it was a super cool game or a pet I would eventually get the guts to say I wanted it. But at the store. Even if I thought, man those burritos look delicious, I wouldn’t ask. Not because my parents would yell at me if I wanted something. No. They would actually ask me, You sure your not hungry? Did you want something? And my mom says that even when I was like 3 years old, I wouldn’t scream over stuff at the store. She and my dad both say that I would just walk around looking at all the stuff on the shelves. Or occasionally point at stuff. But if they said no, I would just keep walking and looking at stuff. and thats it. Then when I was older, I remember that when they would ask if I want something, I would either stay quiet or say, “no I’m fine” They would actually get a bit frustrated since they sometimes caught on that I DID want something, I just didn’t want to tell them! Now I’m 13, and I started politely asking for things a bit more often about 3 years ago. I don’t know I kind of always felt a bit ashamed/embarrassed to ask for things 😛
This new age discipline has me rolling sometimes. 😂😂😂 Anyone who grew up with old school parents knew not to act up in public or pick random things off the shelf at the grocery store. There was no such thing as compromising with children. All your parents had to do was give you that look, otherwise you were gonna get that spanking when you got home.
I think another mistake is shielding your kids from the outside world by homeschooling then and not allowing them to have “worldly” things like cellphones and blocking YouTube and Internet on the electronic devices they do have because you’re scared they’ll make bad choices like everyone else. If a parent does that, it won’t help them decide for themselves whether or not to follow the rules. Exposure to these things may seem wrong, but meeting people that have made bad choices will teach you what not to do and coming across something bad on the Internet will give you a choice whether to ignore it and tell your parents or delve deeper into it. Shielding your kid and being extremely overprotective is basically robbing them of learning to choose for themselves and they’ll never be able to really grasp the concept of agency
extremes are the worst parenting style you can adopt. you had a strict childhood so you go super soft and they dont learn discipline. But something i hate is when people make their child so afraid to do anything even live on their own then treat them like their broken as adults when they need to be cared for still
Children who bully and physically harm others have parents or guardians whom they get that kind of behavior from. Hate comes from their homes. I personally believe hateful and violent adults should NOT have children. Unfortunately that’s just how the world is today. It’s sad…. I also would like to add that parents who don’t take the effort to teach their kids what’s right and wrong are at fault for their kids behavior too.
honestly my lil sister is rude af, and when i come home from school she is literally never excited to see me. She demabds things left and right, and cries for literally EVERYTHING. She’s almost six, and she still demands that she drinks milk from a bottle. She threw the craziest tantrum the other day because she couldn’t watch Moana it was nuts.
Sometimes Little Annoying CHILDREN DONT HAVE THE COMMON SENSE take my cousin. he threw my pants into a river. and MY OTHER COUSIN BUGS AND BUGS ME AND WHEN I NUDGED HER TO GET AWAY SHE ACTED LIKE SHE WAS CRYING AND I LOOKED LIKE THE BAD GUY BUT WHEN MY AUNT CAME TO COMFORT HER SHE MAGICALLY STOPED NO BREATHING OR ANYTHING POOF! THE END OF MY TRAGIC TALE
1 don’t baby your child to the point that where they are over dramatic about every little thing. 2 don’t treat them like a bubble and have to go get professional help every time they get their feelings hurt it’s not the end of the world to cry. 3 teach them not to be greedy where they feel they are entitled to everything they touch or if their friends’ have it but they have to work and earn it like a normal person. 4 don’t let them belittle others or elders since they will feel like they are better than others or that they feel they know far more than those older than them, wisdom comes with time not whining silver spoon brats teach them to show respect for others and learn from elders. 5 its okay to do some mistakes in life it’s a stepping stone of learning to better oneself but remember learn! dont repeat mistakes if you do you’re not learning.
Don’t force your child to do the things you want him/her to do let you child do things he/she wants. Just not something that can possible get them hurt or in trouble because when they get older they will most likely feel unaccepted by their parent or parents. While others will feel like they have no control over their life and become dependent. And there are some who will go against their parent or parents wishes and do their own thing. Parents shouldn’t feel that because their child was born a boy or a girl that they should have some restrictions on things the other gender does. Like some mothers or fathers feel that girls should be more feminine so they tell the things like ” Your a girl so close your legs!” Or ” you need to dress more like kids your age!” causing the child to feel like she’s not Normal to others. I’m not sure about boys because i am a girl but my mom would let my brother get away with stop because he was a boy but because I was born a girl I had my restrictions when annoyed me. So someday I feel like I’m no welcomed and I can’t feel comfortable living thin this world so I spend most of my days indoors. She thinks I don’t listen when most of the time I just choose what I wear instead of wear those exposing clothes some of the girls I know where. I don’t know why she doesn’t get that I am my own person. I may look like her doesn’t mean I am her.
I was ignored as a kid… but I didnt take it personally because there was over 10 kids in the house so I called myself commander Derpling because my bunk buddie was really demanding so he was leader derpling and the other kids joined as our army men/women (boys and girls if you want to get technical) and we just goofed around until the parents ( we lived with multiple moms and dads ) and they realized that we took all the trees outside( they are tasty ) and they blamed the runt of the pack but we all came in and said ” how can they do that they don’t get any dinner because you are derps!!” And they realized that there wasn’t any chairs left so he got 1/2 of the food from then on….so in conclusion… wait I don’t know the conclusion!!! Someone plz tell..
I honestly don’t understand what’s wrong with yelling. I’m not talking about “you are a worthless child” or anything actually absive, but just yelling to get a point across. People get over being grounded, or timeouts. They don’t learn from those. they need a light spank, or a firm telling off. those will stick to them
I don’t think teaching your child to keep secrets even a “home secret” is good for a child because your are teaching them that secrets are ok and anyone can take advantage/abuse them and ask the child to keep it a secret. PLEASE DON’T EVER ASK A CHILD TO KEEP SECRETS JUST TEACH BY EXAMPLE . If you don’t want a child to go tell someone something embarrassing don’t do it in front of them.
Dont spoil ur kid and ur right about all of them my family have all of that i am ashame but i am the child its not easy for me to control myself i dont know what self discipline is but my parents dont unserstand the damage so i try to teach myself and siblings the right way to act but i keep failing is not easy
things to add don’t lie understand their problems if they want u to change something that they may not like let them cry because it is proven that crying relieves stress and physical pain edit: no peeking at journals, diary, and text if someone dies, like a cat, don’t tell them a lie, they need to know death, the only reason I just know to move on unless they r really sick or really young under 8 or 9 then u should have them choose if to take medicine or not, make them feel that they should have some say in health, not some as in, 10%, like most of the say, this I would say varies by kid, age/maturity, and how serious something is
I’m 11 and it still freaks me uot when my parents go somewhere with uot me knowing it all happened when my Mon let me stay in the car while she went with my sister to leav some clothing at resell shop and get some dipers for Lil brother I was in the car for a long time at the parking lot and I started feeling cramps in my stumick and digestive areas and I was getting nerves so finely when my family came back frome the store I became scared when mom left me in the car for eny time over 15 14 minits alone in car
My mom compares me to my bff amd others and tells me my attitude os the reason why i dont have friends but its the others and im 11 and also my mom gets mad at me for sticking up for my sis like ” RUN FASTER” and I say “she can run faster then you” because my sis is in softball and running bases and my sister is RLLY fast
Me my dad and my mom say to my brother:say please and thank you, three days later He was ridding his bike then he almost crashed into bushes and I got of my bike and hit my arm on the bike then I stop his bike bumping into his bike and hurting myself again AND I DONT GET A THANK YOU I GOT HURT TWO TIMES AND NO THANK YOU FOR SAVING HIM I ONCE BUMPED INTO THOSE BUSHES AND IT HURTS REALLY BAD I WAS BLEEDING AND DIDENT SAVE ME UNFARE!!
My husband three kids r staying wt me.. n m realy vry dissapointed to say how their parents hv grown up dem.. no polite words.. they shout dey scream.. dnt respons well .. neither dey respect me.. i suffer ds alot in my house. Dey parents mind it if anything say wrong abt kids.. n they dnt correct dem or advice dem..
the biggest mistake is taking too much of anything and money spending. If a kid wants everything and you say we can’t afford it they will ask u when u can afford it. what you should do is tell them that they can get it when THEY have the money and to get money they must work. You should also never take too much of anything. say if ur eating and you want more usually the child would want more, what you should do is let them eat first then you can eat after them. every now and then give them a little extra.
Way to contradict yourselves. One minute you’re perpetuating the notion that certain things should be kept secret, then the next minute you say the opposite. Also, there’s only two things on this list I would actually view as “misbehaving”. Otherwise, it just seems like the parents being extremely petty
I know this probably won’t be seen but… This just seems like an easy excuse for children to pin the blame on their parents for their faults. From what I can see, it’s only young kids perusal this on their ipads or phones. This is probably how spoiled brats are raised: by working/busy parents and a person on a screen telling them how to do their job. No one is perfect, they gave up years of their lives to raise up another human being. If you want good manners, enforce them at a young age. Not while they’re misbehaving. Also every child is different. Don’t expect one thing to work for everyone. Some kids will learn from punishments, and some only get worse. I hope someone actually sees this so I don’t pour my heart out for nothing. Have a nice day.