A recent report suggests that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is overdiagnosed in community settings, with conduct problems often used to make a diagnosis. Of the 100 cases reviewed, 39 presented with a diagnostic history of RAD, DSED, or “attachment disorder”. Looked-after children are at risk of suboptimal attachment patterns and RAD, but access to interventions varies widely. RAD affects 1 to 2 percent of children, but the risk is higher in children who have been in foster care.
RAD is usually found in children who were severely neglected, preventing them from forming healthy, loving bonds with a caregiver before age five. Children who are institutionalized or in foster care represent many of those with RAD, but RAD is present in only about 10 of this population. Frequent change in caregivers, such as in orphanages or foster care, is another cause of RAD.
Reactive attachment disorder causes serious emotional problems due to early childhood neglect. Many kids spend their youngest years with loving caregivers, and RAD is treated like an incurable, terminal disease. RAD develops from early trauma, especially neglect as an infant, and is often the result of hardships experienced early in life.
Looked-after children are at risk of suboptimal attachment patterns and RAD, but access to interventions varies widely. Reactive attachment disorder is caused when an infant doesn’t bond properly to its primary caregiver, leading to ongoing feelings of rage. For many children in foster care, a healthy and loving relationship with a biological parent was never created.
📹 What Caring For Child With R.A.D. Was Like for State Rep., Wife
Part 2: The Harrises learned that the oldest girl with them for a trial period had reactive attachment disorder.
Which behavior is expected in a child with reactive attachment disorder?
Reactive attachment disorder is a condition in early childhood caused by social neglect and maltreatment. It affects children by causing difficulty in forming emotional attachments, reducing positive emotion experiences, and unable to seek emotional closeness. These children are unpredictable, difficult to console, and discipline. They may exhibit fight, flight, or freeze mode behaviors and a strong desire to control their environment. The DSM-5 classifies reactive attachment disorder as a trauma- and stressor-related condition, emphasizing the importance of team-based interprofessional care for affected patients.
What are the outbursts of reactive attachment disorder?
Reactive attachment disorder is characterized by anger issues, which can be expressed through tantrums, acting out, or manipulative behavior. Children with this disorder may hide their anger in socially acceptable actions. They may struggle to show genuine care and affection, often acting inappropriately towards strangers and parents. Additionally, they may have an underdeveloped conscience, failing to show guilt, regret, or remorse after bad behavior.
What happens when children with RAD grow up?
Attachment issues can range from mild to severe, with reactive attachment disorder (RAD) being the most severe form. RAD occurs when a child cannot establish healthy relationships with their parent or primary caretaker, leading to impaired future relationships and developmental delays. Symptoms are common in children who have experienced abuse, foster care, orphanage, or have been taken away from their primary caregiver.
Early warning signs of RAD include avoidance of eye contact, crying, disinterest in games or toys, and inability to notice when someone enters their home. Addressing these issues early can help reduce the likelihood of severe problems in the future.
What does reactive attachment disorder turn into in adults?
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a condition that can persist into adulthood if not treated or if treatment is not effective. RAD can significantly impact an individual’s ability to fully experience relationships, maintain a positive sense of self, and maintain mental health. Symptoms of RAD in adults include detachment, withdrawal from connections, inability to maintain significant relationships, inability to show affection, resistance to love, control issues, anger problems, impulseness, distrust, inability to fully grasp emotions, feelings of emptiness, and a lack of sense of belonging.
RAD can affect adult relationships in various aspects of life, including professional, platonic, and romantic relationships. It can lead to dysfunctional thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which can impact their relationships. RAD can lead to feelings of emptiness, a lack of sense of belonging, and difficulty in maintaining relationships.
What is it like to parent a child with RAD?
RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) can be distressing for parents and caregivers, as it can make it difficult to connect with their child. The child may spend time and energy trying to bond, only to be rejected, leading to guilt and second-guessing of parenting style. In extreme cases, anger or aggression can become disruptive at home and school, or even dangerous. Discouragement and considering giving up can complicate a child’s development, as neglect increases their risk for substance abuse and other problematic behaviors.
There is an association between attachment disorders and emerging borderline personality disorder. RAD is often a result of early life hardships, such as separation from a trusted caregiver or being thrown around in foster care. However, symptoms don’t remain a permanent barrier to forming social bonds and meaningful relationships. With the right resources, an informed approach, and patience, parents can help their child gain a sense of security and improve their development.
Do kids with RAD have empathy?
While structuring is of great importance, it is only effective when combined with nurturing, as students with RAD tend to exhibit aggressive behaviors due to a lack of empathy or poor impulse control.
How to discipline a child with RAD?
Discipline for children with reactive attachment disorder (RAD) requires understanding, perspective, and patience. These children, who were severely neglected as infants or toddlers, have emotional, social, and behavioral deficits that are particularly evident when disciplining them. To help them learn rules and behavior skills, it is crucial to maintain calmness, start a fresh start after disciplining, maintain limits firmly but gently, and use natural consequences. All consequences should fit the present moment and be given based on the child’s emotional, social, and behavioral needs.
RAD children are difficult to discipline due to their experiences of being unable to trust their caregivers and form the belief that people are unreliable and the world is cruel and unsafe. To effectively discipline a RAD child, it is essential to maintain understanding, perspective, and patience.
What happens to RAD children when they grow up?
Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) doesn’t disappear overnight, and if not treated, it can sometimes become a personality disorder. Adults with RAD develop a system for dealing with relationships and problems, often becoming manipulative, secretive, and unable to tolerate emotional intimacy. Romantic relationships are particularly affected, as they are built on trust and vulnerability. Adults with RAD often don’t feel emotionally connected to their partners and may cheat or lie, seeking something they cannot attain without that trust. It’s crucial for adults to work on healing and regaining trust with their primary caregivers to avoid RAD and maintain healthy relationships.
Are kids with RAD manipulative?
Children with RAD often display atypical behaviors, including pushing against attachment figures, a need for control, manipulative actions, dishonesty, and theft. In more severe cases, they may also engage in self-harm or harm others.
How do you calm a child with RAD?
Supporting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) requires understanding, patience, realistic, positive, firm, loving, aware, and consistent behavior. RAD is a condition where children struggle with building positive relationships or emotional attachments due to past negative experiences. Building strong relationships is challenging, but with the right support and treatment, it is possible. It is essential to recognize that your child is also experiencing difficulties and be patient with their struggles.
📹 How foster care placements can harm a child’s brain
Video by James Wooldridge, Eric Adler and Neil Nakahodo Links to all the stories in the Throwaway Kids series: Part One of Six: …
Unless you have lived with RAD you have no room to judge. It is unsafe for other children to be in this situation. I have had a child with RAD for 2 1/2 years it is becoming extremely unsafe for her biological sister to be around her. I hope this child was able to go to the attachment clinic and get some help but all of the people spreading hate it is only because you haven’t lived it and don’t know how dangerous it is not only for other people but the child itself. My thoughts are with this family and the little girl. ❤️
This breaks my heart. As someone who experienced sexual trauma at a very young age and had to deal with violent thoughts/urges, heaven forbid they were much less serious, I sympathize with these girls a lot. Bless the parents who attempt (and hopefully succeed) to change an abused child’s life for the better.
To everyone whose defending the Harris’s it’s not what they did with the oldest daughter that makes them terrible people, it’s what happened to her younger sisters. After the oldest sister left the Harris’s legally adopted her two little sisters, then they started showing signs of RAD as well. Just like with the first girl they were unable to deal with it, at one point they told their babysitter that they girls had demons inside them that needed to be released, but because they were legally these little girls parents they couldn’t just give them back, if they did they could lose custody of their biological children, so they rehomed the girls to one of their employees and his wife. Like three months later the girls are removed from that home after her new Dad sexually abused them, and once it got out The Harris’s blamed social services for not helping them, even though their social worker warned them numerous times that they couldn’t take care of them, which the Harris’s took to mean because they were too religious. After everything came out Justin couldn’t run for another term because of all the bad press, but luckily all the girls are in healthy, good homes, the oldest daughter was adopted a few years after the Harris’s gave her up and is doing well, and the two younger girls were adopted by a loving family with two older daughters and they are happy to have found their forever home.
Those kids are better off not with them because they’re not equipped to be a parent to traumatized children. They only had her for 6 months and they sent her away that fast. She’s already been abandoned you’re just making it even harder for her to attach. You should have educated yourselves and not put this kid through more stuff your heart was in the right place but your mind wasn’t. My son is adopted and has rad and he would scream and be crazy for 12 hours a day non-stop, destroying the house,destroying the room, spitting, kicking, peeing everywhere,biting the list goes on. Now it’s a year later that he’s been with us and he’s already made amazing changes to where he’s learning to calm himself better there’s no more 12-hour fits he is destructive but it has decreased significantly, no more violence, no peeing everywhere. And why do you think this happened because we stuck with it and we let him know that we’re not going anywhere and he’s not going anywhere and he’s our son and he’ll always be our son and we love him unconditionally. Persistence and being consistent with structure makes a world of a difference for children born of Chaos. We were properly trained and we sought out a special kind of therapy for him. I’ve worked with the foster care system for almost 4 years now if you put in the work most of the time it gets better. If you had a child that was born to you and was behaving crazy would you give them away? You already know they got physically abused at a young age and their cries were never answered so you have to assume that these little girls have a vast amount of rage inside them that they don’t even understand how to control yet and problems they don’t even understand that’s a lot of weight for a little shoulders you have to be there shoulders no matter how hard because that’s your baby.
I had RAD as a child, to the point that nearly no doctors would see me because I had a tendency to physically attack older men who tried to touch or talk to me. It was so weird, I remember doing it but I don’t remember why. I also had an extreme fear of childcare centers and babysitters, so it made life hell for my working mother. I was awful toward my loving mother and sisters, I literally couldn’t feel empathy. I couldn’t even grasp the concept. I never cried and I was always full of rage. I had no respect for authority and wasn’t afraid to spit in a teachers face if I felt like it. I was viciously protective of my little sister though, even though I was awful to her. I beat any kid that crossed her and even attacked a teacher once when she spoke to my sister in a threatening manner. Then when I got pregnant at 16, the craziest thing happened.. the condition very suddenly reversed, completely. Literally overnight I became the most loving, warm, empathetic, and kind person. It was like the pregnancy hormones did something to my brain. I’m 31 now and the most even tempered, calm, laid back, and gentle person. I’m proud to say that I’m a wonderful and loving mother and wife, and I do lots of volunteer work for our homeless population and environmental conservation. My parents and sisters SWORE I would grow up to be a serial killer. We laugh about how wild it is that my personality did a 360 and I am now the most tenderhearted and empathetic member of the family.
Which is why I will only adopt and foster when my bio kids are out the house. I’m sure these parents had good intentions, but just inviting kids to your house and saying “we’ll protect you!” is not often enough… foster and adopted kids have very different and specific needs, and yes, sometimes this can become a problem. If you aren’t willing to put forth the effort to research, study,take development classes on the ups, downs, and trials of dealing with severely traumatized kids, don’t do it. “Giving back” a child that was supposedly yours (as if kids are just items you can seek refunds for), only damages the child more, because you’re teaching them that not even their own parents can be trusted. As someone else wrote, I blame the adoption agency for placing these high-needs kids in a ill-fitting naive and unprepared family. It was unfair and possibly dangerous for everyone in the picture
The #1 rule when dealing with anyone who has RAD especially a disturbed child is that sadly love is not enough. I know these people made mistakes but thousands of parents who have adopted and foster parents in America are making mistakes out of desperation because the authorities are not listening or getting these children the help that they need. People judge “Shame on this family.” What about Shame on DHS for not taking the first baby girl out as soon as they were shown the article tape of the rages and torment that 6 year old was experiencing?! The family called out for help and DHS denied them 🙁
It was a very noble thought, but my dudes, you already have THREE children. How you gonna give the care and attention a traumatized (much less a child with RAD) needs while also giving proper attention and love to your three sons AND the other two sisters?! That’s just madness. But also absolutely shame on the social worker who did not inform these naïve parents that these girls had RAD
As someone with RAD, children with RAD should be watched closer than regular kids. For those of you judging, you need to understand it is a very hard disorder to deal with. That being said, they should have found someone equipped to take care of these children. The parents should have got them psychological help.
Yeah I’m done perusal at the point in which she moved her other children into her room without even knowing if the child would have any issue, and then said “my biological children, those were the ones we were gonna safeguard first and foremost”. If that’s your attitude, DO NOT ADOPT. Your adoptive child is your child just like your biological children and they all should be “safeguarded”. You don’t even know if there could be a danger, how do you think she felt that she moved to yet another new house and her entire new family all slept in a room together while she had to sleep by herself in a room with an alarm? The adoption being finalized just means that she’s now your child in legal terms, but she was already your daughter. If you don’t see it that way, do not adopt a child.
Hi there ABC NEWS. In the wake of the Florida shooting, perhaps it’s time this subject matter is revisited. I’m a biological parent to a child with RAD and I am so tired of hiding behind such a horrific subject matter because this disorder takes on many forms and most people don’t hear parental or caregiver pleas for help until it’s too late.
.I am a RAD parent…these children are more difficult than people realize. They visualize “difficult”, but they don’t think about how it is constant..There are no breaks, or normal times with these kids. I do have a website educating people on this disorder…the more people know, the more these parents won’t feel so alone, and misunderstood.
The fact that the girl has trouble attaching to people is one thing. But to make her think that she is going to be a part of a family finally, and then to throw her out and terminate her adoption is cruel. You are not only adding to her list of hurt and pain but making it harder for her to trust people.
My best friend growing up had an older brother adopted from foster care at age 9 or 10 and he had RAD. I met him when he was 13 and I was 11. He did things that made me scared of him. He ran away a lot, lied all the time, hit, kicked and bit his parents and siblings, and one time when I was spending the night, his sister and I were having a campout in a tent in their back yard and he came out to the tent in the middle of the night and started slashing it with a kitchen knife. We were screaming and his dad had to physically lay on top of him to restrain him while this kid was screaming, “I HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!” and kicking and biting the dad. To this day, that is the scariest thing I have witnessed firsthand. My parents didn’t let me go over there after that. It would be easy for someone to say that his parents went to extreme measures with him, but he was a raging danger to himself and others. BUT, they didn’t “give him back.” They out themselves through hell with him for years.
This is two parents who came in and thought because the wife was abused that they were automatically equipped to care for 3 severely traumatized children. Putting alarms on your children’s doors and taking 3-hour sleeping shifts changes nothing about your children’s behavior. It is preventative but not helpful the actual state of mind these girls were in. Where was the therapy? Where was the research on R.A.D? They were a true example of privileged people riding in on their white horses to try an save everyone. News flash, knowledge is power. You think you have it bad because your child goes through 12-hour fits of rage? Think about the 24 abuse these kids endured for the majority of their childhood. Makes me so mad to see states giving children out like free stuff to bad parents.
Sadly taking 3 girls with severe emotional problems is far more that many family or couples can deal with. I think just taking care of one would have been overwhelming It seems this parents are unaware or Ill prepare to deal with the harsh reality of dealing with kids with R.A.D and They had good intentions but they were naive There is not love enough that can cure R.A.D only time and lots of therapy can sometimes help.
These people are full of themselves even if it seems like its best intentions. Girls are much better off with people who are not looking for children to fulfill something for them but are willing to step out of their box and learn what it means to parent a child with RAD. I am glad they were relinguished.
The little girl’s rage is the ungodly amount of pain shes feeling because she didn’t get it from her parents the only thing they gave her was that “tantrum” but its really her hurting in so many ways. (I have R.A.D and i was diagnosed with R.A.D.) its more common in kids who were sexually, verbally and physically abused and deprived appropriate affection and emotional support, and wasn’t able to learn empathy or given it.) Its heart breaking if it goes untreated the kids can go through not trusting anybody not showing remorse or show both sympathy and empathy, and they will either want constant attention from people or none.
umm these foster parents are awful. this will only further the trauma, and why is she calling herself mom to a girl who’s been in her house for not even 16 days? she made promises of protecting her, and she didn’t, she gave up on her after 2 weeks. thats furthering this girls belief that caregivers only harm you. poor kids.
They should’ve done more research on RAD and the children’s past. Adopting kids isn’t like adopting a new pet. You can’t expect “just loving them” to be enough. They were clearly not prepared at all to bring three traumatized children into their home. And saying that their bio children were their priority, disgusting. You adopt a child, they’re your child, bio or not. They aren’t any more or less important. They’re a KID that YOU agreed to care for.
It’s really easy to look at something like this and say, “The parents should’ve tried harder,” and I probably would’ve agreed with that before my in-laws started fostering. They have taken in children before that sometimes there was nothing that they could do. The difference between my in-laws and these parents is my in-laws haven’t moved forward with an adoption of children who were not receptive to their care. Frankly I blame whatever counselor that told these parents their love will improve the situation because it seems to me like that’s what made them decide to move forward with an adoption.
RAD is hard. They never bond with anyone. They could care less if you existed, as long as you feed them, and house them, they could care less for you, and anyone else around them. If you disappeared from there lives, they wouldn’t care as long as they have food and a house. It is all about them, they don’t have emotions for anyone else around them. It is all them, and how everyone around them, can serve them.
Their hearts were in the right place, but these people just made some really bad mistakes. 1) She stated her biological kids are “more important” than the fostered ones 2) They separated the girls from her biological kids, making the girls more distant and closed off. 3) These people seem to know NOTHING about helping children with this level of severe trauma.
In my state the foster system will not tell you if a child’s dangerous or has issues. We were told in foster parent classes that they don’t tell you to keep from discriminating them. Smh. Some of these kids are so so damaged and I feel those policies are dangerous. We adopted our son and quit being fosters. The system is so broken.
Well…I am a bit concerned that right off the bat they were assuming the worst… I don’t know maybe they were told to do those things, the alarms and having their ” birth sons” sleep in their room with them….but it seems a bit extreme right off the bat and probably didn’t make the girls feel very welcome….I believe they absolutely struggled and wanted this to work out but I also think they were a little naive to think they could fix these girls… Awful for all ….and I might be wrong but if these girls were sexually abused I’m not sure taking them to a home with 4 males was the best step. I do think that unless we have had a child with RAD we have no place judging these parents. But then again…her comment about saving her biological children first is what absolutely Makes me crazy and makes me believe they were not adopting for the right reasons…..no parent who adopts children for the right reasons differentiates between birth and adoptive children or makes their birth children the priority….I am just saying she shouldn’t have said that. I think their struggle was real but I think they were blind, ill prepared and foolish I will also say I think Elizabeth Vargas is being way aggressive when it isn’t her place to be….considering we all found out she was drunk in most of these reports anyway….
I don’t have a problem that the child was too much for these people, who are clearly already safeguarded and ready for this child to be too much. However, what person in their right mind adopt someone when it’s already more than they can handle? They had a way to not be responsible for this child, I have no pity for them.
My moms friend fostered two sisters with RAD, and it wasn’t good (to put it lightly at all). Don’t want to go into that many details, but basically one night the two sisters (age 12 and 15) were in the same bed one night (when they were supposed to be in separate beds), were in the act of intercourse, when my moms friend caught them (In the middle of the night). When confronted about how wrong it was, the sisters replied that it was normal, and it was how they ‘loved each other’. Moms friend was not cool with this and proceeded to separate them.– The very next night, the older sister came to my moms friend’ bedroom whilst she was ‘sleeping’ (moms friend was awake) and was about to murder her. Moms friend played like she was asleep and grabbed her hand.., pushing her away. The 15 year old sister was in aghast.. Moms friend had the two sisters removed the very next day.
RAD is all too common. People have children for personal gain and it has lasting affects on a person. I to this day have a hard time attaching to people because of the lack of it growing up. I love us and hugs were and are non-existent. Add sexual and mental abuse to it you have to be pretty strong to stay sane.
The father started crying and said “it never got better”..but they got rid of them so fast, there wasn’t even time for it to even come close to trying to get better..and that’s not something that’s going to get better quickly! It may never get better, but they didn’t even try long enough to know that..
these so called parents were told they were not equipped to deal with the girls problems. They chose to ignore that and the girls paid for that. They gave the girl away and one was molested again. They made it perfectly clear to the girls that they loved their boys more than them. They are 100 percent responsible for what happened.
How can the parents play victim they literally brought 2 mentally ill girls home and had them call her mom and him dad and legit less than month or so tossed them out than play victim those poor girls are the real victims abused and broken brought into a good home then kicked out stuck up parents didn’t get perfect kids so they decided not to keep them they’re so fucked up AND should NEVEF BE ALLOWED TO ADOPT EVER
My 4 year old probably has this but I can’t find anyone to diagnose him his pcit therapist won’t give extreme diagnosis, his in home therapist that he had for 6 weeks due to him trying to stab me on several occasions, self harm and him abusing his siblings I’m step mom he was put in the system at 3 weeks and my husband and I got him at 11 months, he’s had extreme behaviors since 1 1/2, had to get rid of animals he tried killing them, I have to lock myself in my room with my one year old because he won’t stop attacking us he’s pushed me and his siblings down stairs thrown my baby now 1 year old into walls climbs in his crib drags him into other rooms to attack him if I even turn around, I had to get a tent for my baby for tummy time and guard the entree because he’d stomp on him and drag him through things at him. He self harms at 4. Curses screams for hours will attack us for hours I constantly look like I got hit with baseballs he will bite me till I bleed he won’t potty train I can barely go near him 1/2 the day he’s manipulative to an extreme he will cry but have no tears he lacks empathy and doesn’t even care when he’s hurt, he will crawl across the floor kicking me, pull my hair, he tears my clothes and bites holes in them if I put him down for timeout inpatient won’t take him since he’s not potty trained I only got him in one facility because they opened that same day and had staffing for it he was diagnosed OPpositional defiance disorder that his therapist won’t even recognize and have to drive out of state to refill those meds as his drs/ and psych dr won’t refill his script, I’ve found 0 people that will diagnose but 12 people think he has it without the ability to diagnose 🙃i feel for that little girl but I see what my 4 year old can do and I would of dropped the adoption aswell if it was not my child my 4!
If you are told, love is enough. It’s a lie. Their brains are wired and damaged. So many people are reassured by the state, “It will get better.” They try to quickly drop the child out of their system so adopted parents have to deal with this extreme brokenness. It’s very sad. Take a long time before you adopt. The state is in a hurry to get you to adopt.
Anyone else feel like RAD is just another word for ‘psychopath’ but it is uncomfortable slapping that label on a child so we have to dream up some clinical-sounding name. I feel like this because RAD is not only springing up in children with traumatic pasts. It can also manifest in children who aren’t abused. They’re basically just the serial killers who haven’t grown up yet.
Those adoptive parents were weird af and just added to poor children’s torment. Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare pull the rug out from under a child in NEED! If you aren’t strong enough, DON’T. I understand protecting your other children but you SHOULD have THOUGHT about that before telling abused children all alone in the world you’re her new mommy and daddy when you’d toss her in a heartbeat!
Wow…it hurts my heart that this poor girl hurt like this because sorry ass excuse for her prior dads that abused her! I hope she gets better but I can’t help but wonder if it was too many boys and her association with abuse with her past fathers🤔? I mean maybe she would be better off healing with more females or just someone with more exp! It was nice that they tried but they werent the right fit I guess?
We adopted two kids but no one told us they had emotional problems or tell us the were abused. the kids fooled us during the “honeymoon” stage and things ended for them in our home. I ended up getting arrested because the younger child wanted out of our home because she felt trapped and her anger escalated to putti g kids at her school at risk. she lied to a neighbor who repeatedly reported us to cps as being abusive… this neighbor helped this child carry out an elaborate lie that I physically abused her. This child had been self harming for a couple of years and this time she some how scratched her inner thighs and told the neighbor and police that I beat her with a rope and that is how those scratches got there… the child was never returned when i was arrested and within 24hrs cps dropped the case of abuse and tried to convince us to let her back home. Of course we refused, the neighbor has since slandered our name even though she found out that the kid lied and is disturbed. We went through hell and before my arrest no one wanted to help us. Not cps, not the schools even our family was in disbelief that a little girl like her could be that bad. I contemplated suicide over these two children because NO one would help and I was the main caregiver because I didn’t work. We got her older brother out with a fight. he threatened to kill his sister and me. When he left she took over… She put me through HELL and I feared for my life. It took a while for my husband to see the severity of this girls actions.
Typical stuck up parents get children w mental illness and void adoption that’s sooo sad those kids are even more messed up thinking these ppl might of been there new parents and tossed them out so tucked up .. ppl who wanna adopt need to realize that most kids tht are older have issues obviously thts why their older in the system no want wanted to deal w them and their playing the victims so ducked up they should really be ashamed
How are so many of these comments about the parents being misunderstood and not the child??? This is egocentrism at its finest, and it’s just WRONG. How about you understand that the child doesn’t choose this, and that THEY are the one’s suffering here, and that through a strong foundation of love and care, they will eventually find peace in their minds, bodies, and spirit. I went through a similar experience as a young person, and it wasn’t until I spent years with my wife who gave me unconditional love and truth about my circumstances and how not to be a victim and how to own who I am that things really started to change. It was extremely difficult for my wife, and I admire her and owe her my life and more for what she went through, just like you parents, but a few years of love and support and hard truths got me to where I am today. I can’t tell you of a time I’ve been more happy and liberated in my own life, in my own ability to make decisions, and it’s all due to her help and support through the morals she taught me that she learned from living and overcoming difficult situations herself. It is possible and it dangerous, but if you persist and stay strong in what you believe in, you can achieve anything. And our marriage is proof of that. I hope this inspires you to stay strong and never give up on what you believe in, which is that child you chose to be there for.
WHAT NARCISSISTS! They are using these kids as political pawns! And then they get three crazy girls and freak out? This just proof that adoption needs to be pretty much outlawed. And people who want to adopt kids with these problems should have to have serious training, not just let their narcissism be the guide.
This is just like my little brother… He also has r.a.d and he’s in a mental hospital rn… He’s violent… He hurted my little sisters so much that one of them has deppresion and anxiety… he threatened us everyday and screamed “IM GONNA DROWN YOU UNTIL THERES BUBBLES COMING OUT OF YOUR NOSE” and just like the guinea pig he drowned my dog names sweetpea.. she couldn’t fight back cuz she was so old she had seizures alot… we found her in the pool outside just floating there… he started laughing when we saw her in the pool… hes hid knives in his room and hurt himself and us… I HAVE STITCHES CUZ OF HIM and he pees and poops in his room and makes himself throw up and he says its because he wants to go back to his abusive family… he’s in a mental hospital now and I just wish I had a little brother…
Does RAD always manifest like this? I have heard of RAD in kids where they just withdraw from everything and act fearful instead of angry, and just struggle to interact socially with parents and other people and just don’t seek comfort and are resistant to comfort from parents. And I’ve heard a lot about kids with RAD who display excessive familiarity and affection with strangers, like they’ll go up and hug a stranger because they can’t form proper selective attachments. But is this rage showed in the article and what I have seen in other comments of people with RAD (a big genuine thank you for sharing your stories!) and of wanting to attack and kill people always a feature of RAD or does it manifest in many different ways in different kids?
Sadly by killing their pet was this little girls only way to let them know she felt hurt and betrayed…once more. A very hard situation,but I don’t agree with the new ‘parents’,it didn’t take them long to give up on her/them.If they knew they weren’t healthy kids why even take them in,they made the decision to adopt just to hurt them even more.I don’t have or will never their problem,why?Because I know i don’t have what it takes to care/help a child with these needs.As easy as that.
So I get wanting to give damaged kids a childhood and a future especially as the Mum was a abuse victim herself ..BUT….that was so unfair on the existing children ! It would be hard enough on the boys to have 3 new ..perfectly well behaved kids l.taking the attention let alone taking there nice lives ..shoving them all in to one bedroom…making them live in fear…whiteness.terrible behaviour…why traumatise your own kids? Not much point of saving 3 kids from a horrible life if it means subjecting 3other kids to be in a horrible environment exposing them to trauma !
Folks who think they would / could do better ……… step up or shut up. Don’t care how many degrees you have or how much you’ve been around it (professionals), if you don’t have one in your home that you are responsible for, then you are not qualified. Just listen and learn and be thankful you do not have to carry the weight of the reality of being a parent to a child with RAD and thank those crazy religious people who actually get out and try to do something about it.
Those “tantrums” looked more like, i dont know how to feel or how to get the attention i need so i know this gets me some sort of attention. Good or bad. They shouldnt have taken them with their other children. The oldest needs the most attention and to be shown how to tell someone how they r feeling and what they want. Im sure she needs lots to occupy her mind too. Idk, i think it was too much for her to go from one home where she was alone or with maybe one other kid. Into a home with 4 young boys and her two sisters. Thats a BIG change for a traumatized child. Especially since she knows she was abused the last time they were all together.. i get the want to help them, but they were not the right family. Too many other kids all at once. All of ur attention needs to be on them when they have suffered severe abuse. They need to feel safe and cared for before u can “relax”and let them tell u things they want and feelings.. its harder if they have been abused since babies. Its going to take twice as long to get them to fully accept u.. let alone not throw “tantrums” for what seems like no reason.. imagine how many hours that poor girl had to scream to get attention with her bio mom.. if she got it at all.. just because u have a degree doesnt mean u have first hand experience with that particular child. Everyone is different. Even in how they deal with traumas. God cant help with things we r ment to figure out on our own.
It’s wrong how they say rad is only because of neglect. so untrue.. when the mother is pregnant and does not attach to the baby in the womb it causes rad as well. with my son he was born this way, I started bleeding during my first month of pregnancy and lost my first one, I did not and could not attach while i was pregnant. I am also a foster home and care for children this way but it’s not always what the text says it is. not every parent caused it on purpose