Personal development is a process that involves building skills to improve oneself, such as emotions, thoughts, or behaviors. It is essential to take the right steps to achieve your goals and reflect on habits and actions. The key to personal development lies in setting effective personal goals and finding motivation to achieve them. This guide provides valuable lessons learned from intensive trainings over three years.
One of the most important lessons learned is the importance of surrendering one’s health and responsibility for personal growth. By taking a close look at the larger scheme of things in life, individuals can improve their quality of life, become better listeners, and form mental plans to be a better person. Being proactive in personal development helps maintain motivation, allow for reflection on talents, refine existing skills, and increase employee confidence.
The guide also discusses seven theories of personal development and coaching in personal development and growth. It emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one’s own personal development and the importance of being proactive in initiating and putting effort into the process.
In conclusion, personal development is crucial for personal growth and personal growth. It helps individuals become better listeners, better listeners, and better listeners, ultimately leading to a richer quality of life. The guide also emphasizes the importance of accepting oneself and accepting failure and rejection as part of personal development. By following these lessons, individuals can create a comprehensive plan to reach their full potential in various aspects of their lives.
📹 How To Know Yourself
One of the hardest things in the universe to understand is the interior of our own minds: we can have spent decades on the earth …
How do you understand the self in personal development?
Understanding oneself involves recognizing one’s talents, personality type, values, motivations, capabilities, expertise, and learning style. This self-awareness helps in planning career development and making decisions that align with personal goals. It’s crucial to understand what brings fulfillment and the work environments that will benefit you the most. Reflecting on significant achievements or challenges in one’s life can help identify the career path that aligns with these values.
Understanding one’s personality type can help identify the work environments that thrive in one’s tendencies. Tools like the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) can help identify these preferences. Access to these tools may be provided by institutions or careers services.
How do you answer what have you learned about yourself?
In order to enhance the performance of your business, it is first necessary to identify the most recent challenges or weaknesses that you have addressed over the past year. This may entail learning from missteps or adapting to shifts in the business environment. For example, adapting to remote work arrangements or rectifying an error during the system learning phase can prove advantageous. This will provide a foundation for progressing to the subsequent step.
What is your reflection in personal development?
Self-reflection is a crucial aspect of personal growth, enabling individuals to gain insights into their thoughts, feelings, and actions. Through methods like journaling, meditation, or nature walks, self-reflection provides clarity and perspective on life. This process enables individuals to set goals, create actionable plans, and become the best version of themselves. By analyzing past experiences, individuals can identify strengths and weaknesses, and develop a plan for personal development. Overall, self-reflection is a vital tool for personal growth and personal growth.
What are the 5 points of personal development?
Ryan Zofay’s Personal Development Blueprint offers a comprehensive approach to unlocking one’s full potential. It focuses on the five key areas of personal development: mental, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual. Each area is interconnected, influencing and supporting the others in a delicate balance that shapes overall well-being and success. The blueprint includes goals for professional success, such as improving time management, enhancing communication skills, fostering leadership qualities, and achieving work-life balance. With Zofay’s guidance, individuals can achieve personal growth and development goals that align with their aspirations, enhancing productivity, resilience, and creativity.
What is knowing oneself in personal development?
Self-knowledge is the understanding of one’s thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, and behaviors. It involves understanding what makes you tick, why you wake up, and what you value in relationships. Constant self-awareness and self-consciousness shape how you interact with others, leading to deeper, more fruitful relationships and freeing you from expectations. However, studies show that coworkers may give more accurate descriptions of you than you, and people often overestimate their intelligence and abilities in the workplace. Gaining more accurate self-awareness can increase confidence, self-esteem, and productivity, as well as provide a more accurate perception of your skills, strengths, and weaknesses.
What is personal development in your own?
Personal development is a process that involves activities that enhance a person’s capabilities, potential, human capital, employability, quality of life, and the realization of dreams and aspirations. It can occur throughout an individual’s lifespan and can include both formal and informal actions for others, such as teachers, guides, counselors, managers, coaches, or mentors. In institutions, personal development refers to the methods, programs, tools, techniques, and assessment systems offered to support positive adult development at the individual level in organizations.
Activities may include social entrepreneurship, civic engagement, improving self-awareness, self-knowledge, skills, identity, self-esteem, strengths, careers, employability, lifestyle, health, wealth, social status, fulfilling aspirations, initiating life enterprises, defining and executing personal development plans (PDPs), improving social relations, emotional intelligence, and spiritual identity development. These activities aim to improve a person’s overall well-being and contribute to their personal growth and success.
How do I write my personal development?
A Personal Development Plan (PDP) is a tool that helps individuals focus on their goals, identify threats and opportunities, develop skills, and increase knowledge. It is an ongoing process that drives individuals to improve their knowledge, skills, and experience to achieve their goals. A PDP can be aimed at education, career, or personal goals, or a combination of both. It provides a clear sense of focus, helps map out a path towards goals, strategizes a plan to achieve them, records actionable steps, and sets a timeframe for completing them. A PDP helps maintain vision, keep track of targets, and reflect on progress. In essence, a PDP helps build a clear understanding of what one wants to achieve and how to achieve it.
What are personal development lessons?
The Personal Development Lesson is a crucial part of Charters’ curriculum, spanning from Year 7 to Year 13. It aims to equip students with the necessary skills and knowledge for their future, fostering moral purpose, empathy, and understanding. The lessons cover various topics such as citizenship, personal, social, health education (PSHEC), relationships and sex education (RSE), spiritual, moral, social and cultural (SMSC) development, religious studies, British values, careers information, exam preparation, and internet safety. The school’s ethos of Unity Respect Excellence supports this approach.
What is personal development in your own words?
Personal development is a term used to describe activities aimed at improving talents, potential, employability, and wealth. It involves conscious efforts to improve oneself, allowing individuals to become the best versions of themselves, providing necessary skills and confidence to navigate any situation. Adult experiences are influenced by factors such as employment, real-life experiences, and neighborhoods. Personal development doesn’t have a specific timeline, but requires a lifetime of dedication and awareness to keep up with life’s natural ebbs and flows.
It also applies to professional development, focusing on steps to further one’s career and knowledge, becoming a more well-rounded and productive employee. This could involve reaching significant business milestones, securing promotions, or sharpening skills. Overall, personal development is essential for personal growth and personal growth.
What I have learned about the subject personal development?
Personal development is a process of self-improvement that involves focusing on personal growth and improvement. It involves enhancing self-awareness, self-esteem, skills, and fulfilling aspirations. BetterUp, a supporter of Inner Work®, sees personal development as a form of Inner Work®. It encompasses all aspects of life where personal growth is desired, including career development. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a key reference for personal development, as it suggests that fulfilling basic needs is essential for reaching one’s full potential. To achieve self-actualization, individuals must achieve high levels of self-awareness, self-confidence, personal growth, and self-realization.
What have you learned about knowing yourself?
Knowing yourself involves respecting your strengths, limitations, passions, fears, desires, dreams, thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, tolerances, and limitations. It is important for individuals to decide on the importance of self-knowledge and whether to embark on an adventure. It requires courage and a willingness to peel back layers. For some, feeling lost and stuck can be a sign of self-doubt.
To overcome this, individuals must commit to discovering their true self and overcoming their inner longings. This process can be challenging, but it is essential for personal growth and personal growth.
📹 The 7 Essential Pillars of Personal Development | Brian Tracy
Learn how to achieve all your goals & optimize your success with my personal development plan template. Click the link above to …
After perusal The School of Life for years and studying medicine, I’ve come to realize that our childhood affects us more than we realize. Our developmental stages as a child are crucial in developing our adult attitudes and biases. So, I hope that if you have kids in the future, be sensitive of their developmental stages.
This is so true! I graduated high school and took a year off because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in university. I don’t know why, but I also didn’t work. So this left me very alone (but not lonely) to figure things out. And I did! I didn’t realize what was happening but I was evolving into who I always wanted to become. No societal pressure, I stopped posting to social media (I still use it but I never post because I feel I don’t need to show off to feel validated,) I cut out anyone who was being a sheep or as the article said, being almost a slave to other people’s visions, and I got lucky because my parents and sister were so patient and supportive of me! I can even say my looks significantly improved because I stopped following fashion/beauty trends and catered to my own body structure and my own style… (good bye fake eyelashes and leggings, and hello fresh face and tailored trousers!) And plus, I started to listen to great music, like older things, lots of soul/ r&b and classic rock from the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s that are very different to today’s ‘trendy’ music… much more enriching to the soul! Eventually I began reading and have taken an interest in human psychology and also the arts; things I always loved but never dared to immerse myself in because science/math related academics always seemed to be “more important.” Now, I talk to people and I always get compliments on how mature and put together I look and feel! I get compliments on my clothes too! And the secret I suppose, as simple as it is, is that I gave myself the time and space, and even permission, to pursue being someone I could be proud of.
My problem is that I am very emotional pearson and in the same time I care about others opinion too much. For some reason I’ve always wanted everybody to like me and that’s where I lost myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. I always try to hide my insecurity behind smile and happiness and everyone thinks that I am the happiest person in the world but the truth is I am anxious and depressed and afraid to show my real self. I also act like outgoing pearson but I get so tired every time. I just want to calm down and stop caring as I used to do two years ago when I loved myself. But I’ve never actually had real friends. Sometimes I hate everybody bcs I think they are happy and having good time. I just want to calm down and live a life. Love you all❤️
These articles always emphasize childhood but I notice that in myself it’s a lot of this stuff but during teenage years… My childhood was rather affectionate It was the teenage years where almost all emotional needs became neglected And that eventually turned into “emotion is a weakness that will be exploited” because when I did try and reach out it usually was turned, flipped, mangled, and leveraged against me I ended up absolutely stoic for a long time To the point where someone could literally be making me bleed and I’d sit there unflinching and not break eye contact “don’t get upset and they’ll lose interest and stop hurting you” Was basically how I was raised … The fun part is people don’t lose interest at best and at worst they get offended by your lack of suffering and they upgrade from little things to big A bleeding scratch down the arm one day can escalate to getting hit in the back of the head with a metal broom the next… Some people really make it their mission to try and make you snap “It really pisses me off that you never get mad at me. How do you do that? How do you stay so calm when I’m attacking you?” It wasn’t good I’m still not comfortable displaying emotions I just also know being stoic doesn’t protect you, it lines you up for people trying to stab you just to giggle when the calm one screams … I feel like this strayed far from the topic at hand It just isn’t always childhood… Either that or they say child but are really referring to teenage years too lumped in This also makes me realize why a friend directed me to this website.
I’m working on this very thing with the help of my therapist. It’s quite frustrating to be aware of an issue like this, and honestly very overwhelming too. If who you are is an uncertain being – if that’s what you’ve lived by your whole life – who are you really then? If it’s so deeply rooted within you to blend in and adapt a little too well for the well being of both you and others (or so you think), it’s almost impossible to have a strong sense of your identity – because it’s so fluid, and it has always been like that. We also don’t want to get out of sync with others – that’s why we’re so good at adapting to stay “likeable” or to please others. The real challenge is to be able to be both – be in touch and in movement with others, open in relationships – but also know where we stand and feel secure in who we are. It’s difficult to navigate in – when to protest, when to negotiate, when to stand up – when everything you are have always been dependent on the validation of others. I’m in this journey myself and it’s incredibly tiring to try and feel into something that’s completely natural to others – and many can’t relate to the scale in which you operate. And when you really start pursuing your own identity, you run out of excuses – you’re naked and vulnerable when you can’t hide behind the opinion of others. I’m afraid of that leap, and have been for a long time, but I also know it’s worth it. The few times I can feel the “real me” peak out – and when I stand up for her – is when I feel the best and the strongest.
I think of this internal emotional/psychological structure we all have, as similar to an actual building or house. Shoddy work at the beginning leads to trouble sooner or later, but a well-constructed foundation helps enormously for many years, as it can withstand many winds and storms, and not rot easily with time but age well.
I actually can confirm that if you’re not secure about your values and who you really are, you search for more praises from other people and you get anxious if anybody contradicts you. In fact this happened to me a year ago. Now i’ve strengthed my way of thinking and my values, and i imagine much less about being praised by other people, and also if anybody has a different way of thinking i just smile while i’m having the conversation. This website is fkin amazing
I have a problem just like this. Extreme emotional neglect has screwed me up so much I can’t maintain relationships and have a hate relationship with myself. I hope I can apply this and start to heal myself. Apparently parents are unaware of their shortcomings and after 28 years of living, I’ve given up the hope of a healthy relationship with them. I stay away as far as possible and I found it helped me grow more and feel better about myself.
You are the steps you make in life and shadows will either haunt or remind of you as worthy moral person. Forget joining in clubs to facilitate personal growth and development. You will always be following other people’s goals and agendas. Be courageous enough to accept failure and rejection. It appears everybody just wants to belong, yet there are so many social and cultural gate keepers. The test is in any social situation to be honest with yourself. Evaluate the situation, look for a solution based on moral judgement qui bono, who benefits. Do something not for the following reasons: recognition, fame, wealth, ego, social acceptance. Have courage to help stand up for rights of indivuals, social and animal ethical welfare are at stake. Be vulnerable. Dare to do things not for rebelling but for sake of compassion as there are too many struggling with rights in various social, political avenue. How society treats its most vulnerable is how that generation can be judged.
Thank you for this., i am going through a crisis of identity at the moment. I know i am bisexual and that i have been hiding a part of myself that i discovered recently as i started taking songwriting seriously and i thought yesterday as i was coming home from school that I didn’t know who i am anymore, i cried and in was walking with someone so it brought on a very strange conversation. Anyway i realised my identity is that i love music, i am strange i am not trendy i am truly myself without caring whatever anyone thinks of me apart from the people who matters. Thank you
Funny how this is exactly what I needed to hear. I often rely so much on my friends compliments that when I don’t get it I feel like I’m not as beautiful as I truly am. I give them so much power to define me And I’m so happy I’m beginning to start to trust myself and grow in confidence of my true self✨ For anyone seeking approval from other please know that it’s toxic for both you and them and the true approval should come from yourself. YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF WHOLLY
I have been fighting for this from year. The self identity got lost in the time of chaotic childhood not because they(my parents) didn’t want but because of their own inability which they inherited from their parents, i am some time sure and at times lost about self image. The values that i have many times feel like impractical. At some moment i feel pretty confident about my own abilities but on other occasions it just starts trembling and makes me confuse. I hope i would soon be able to clear out these shaky moments and build up a solid identity.
You don’t just wake up oneday and think “Oh I found myself I know who I am”, it’s a life-long journey, everyday as you live with yourself and you pay attention to your own thoughts and behaviors, and become more aware of all your senses, you understand yourself more and more. There’s so much depth and so many layers to us, we mightve lived a thousand lifetimes before this current incarnation. So imo it’s nearly impossible to know yourself 100% as you can’t really know all that your soul has been through and carried with it for lifetimes. That’s why it’s a journey and not something you obtain. Knowing yourself is seeing yourself from your lenses, your own perspective and not from others’ eyes or perception of you. Sometimes we just need a simple reminder that who we truly are is not just a random human born on earth just because, we’re actually spiritual beings having a human experience to fulfill a purpose.
This is an excellent article. But, I think, this transformation only gets harder before it gets any better. By this, I mean, removing ourselves from a relationship with people/person and learning triggers. Ultimately, it becomes uncomfortable because of all the negative emotion we can also feel during this. And while I agree with the notion of a psychotherapist, here in the US can’t really afford to see one.
That point about praise is so true and I’ve never considered it. Even though I have low self esteem and have things about myself I don’t like, I still want people to enjoy the things that I do like. I want them to see my drawings and hear my jokes and be happy. But then I feel guilty because it feels to vain to think people should spend their time on me. Y’all feel?
Again a wonderful work by the school of life. Thank you ! As it is shown at the end of the article, we need a mirror to see ourselves properly. This mirror can be anything that makes us move outside of ourselves: art, discussions, adversity, meditation… Good luck to you all on the road of self-knowledge 🙏🏼
Knowing yourself is an act. I’ve heard people say you have to spend more time by yourself to know yourself. But that isn’t completely true, I believe a huge part of knowing yourself is also spending time socializing and observing how you interact with people, all people. I could expand more on this topic if needed but this is a great article. Kudos!
“Know Thyself” is what Socrates used to preach and is something that we need to practice every day. To believe that we are the same person that we were yesterday should be a crime, every new day is another opportunity to become who we want to be. But before knowing where we are going we need to know where we are. This is where Socrates offered us a helping hand and gave us the Socratic method. Question everything you see, you hear, you preach, you study, you believe, question everything. Everything you encounter strip it down to its core, only there you can rest assured that what you are staring at is in line with the core of your soul. When you practice this every new believed will have the need to be tested by your core and if does not line up you can move on, no need on believing what others do or say. You only add up things that are true to your core, in this sense when the question is ask who am I? then you can answer proudly I am what you see, what you hear, what I preach, what I studied, what I believe, I am me.
I’m really so blessed to encounter school of life teachings. As a young adult, living in an era where the crowds dictate the norm, school of life redirected my perspective in life. I used to believe that what I see on social media is the norm, and no matter how I loathe those things, I accepted it. As this article stated, to know our themselves we need someone credible to do introspective check, I don’t have one, but good thing School of Life is here. It helps me to check within me, to see what I really value, and to see what really matters. I don’t want to live a life dictated by our society, I want to live my life based on who I really am. Self-awareness is the key and the School of Life is one of my maps.
I am done with people saying it doesn’t matter what happened in childhood since today we are adults. It’s all part of your life. I don’t have two lives 0-18 and 18-beyond. If my mother had unprocessed trauma when I was conceived and my dad was nowhere to be found, then how dare you put pressure on me to love and respect them without question. Especially if you did not do it yourself. I have a right to process my experiences and formulate my own opinions and beliefs. My parents do not own the rights to my childhood simply because they were adults at the time. I was there, too. We each have our own mind and I have no desire to sway them to a certain belief about themselves or about me. Give me the same respect. I’m venting, and I really appreciate what this article offers. I know my focus can be on creating the support and awareness of myself that I’ve always wanted. I for sure want to see my own value and be completely detached from others’ opinions or demands. Being gentle or understanding with myself is such a foreign concept for me.
Waaow ! What a coincidence …today is my birthday and spent my day perusal a movie …not happy nor sad jus there. I dint even tell my friends its my birthday n just a few remembered but i dint care lol! I have never felt a birthday as a big day to be happier for what?? I was born already n life is hitting me so hard! should i blame it on my birthday?
I was criticised endlessly, my entire life, for ADHD symptoms I had no control over. I experienced no moments of acceptance from parents, siblings, teachers or other adults. I’m still, at 33, trying to figure the basics of who I am because I’m still undoing the damage caused by being berated for what I WASN’T
I was like that in my past.. Following others.. Forcefully laughing at others jokes to befriend them and for seeking attention.. For a long time i don’t even care about what is inside me.. I always do what others find enjoyable.. I never understood what i really loved and even if i found out i never had the courage to show it because of fear of what others may think about me… And i often gets depressed because sometimes i didn’t feel happy and i sometimes feel left out of the crowd even when i am sorrounded by a lot of friends.. No one actually understood me.. Even myself.. It is after a very long time that i learnt of self worth and value.. That i too have a place in this society.. I don’t have to support others always in their needs and to behave according to their mood swings.. I have an equal Right to voice my opinions and to do anything that ‘I’ find interesting .. And for me it took a great deal of time to take that plunge and it requires a lot of courage to change and move on .. But slowly i started to change and now i have improved a lot 😊i am no longer wasting my life for others happiness and i am currently in the process of completely finding myself.. Trust me it will take a lot of patience and we should focus a lot inside our head because one thing i learnt about me is that my head is always crammed with unnecessary thought and worries.. I got cleared of it eventually over time and now life is a different perspective for me.. Once you start living YOUR LIFE by your own thoughts and actions and find people who actually love you the way u r,(ignore the people who uses you when they need)life will definitely feel good, find what u r good and happy about, feel good and eventually everything fits.
i never had any good education back in puerto rico, i came to california by myself without anything after having to build my business by myself i lost everything after hurricane maria i feel neglected and to this day i’m still sleeping in a shelter, i don’t have a home my family cannot support financially, one thing is i don’t give up to find myself 🙁
Know yourself and your worth What are your values? Seek validation internally or externally Do what you can only do Be kind to yourself Have an identity Known and likable Be resilient How do you feel What do you want Trust yourself Say no and have boundari Praise, opposition, original thinking Know thyself and be your own best friend
As a youth I was all wrapped up in gymnastics. I was born to a poor family so I had to teach myself everything and it was before YouTube so I had no tools . I had to just see what my body was able to do like a back bend on the wall then head stands and still back flips and so on . No one wants to look at my lind or life closely they are just not paid enough lol. Since I am poor no one cares . I have no money for them to waist time talking to me. True .
I was thinking of writing a bunch of questions and answering them, sort of like I’m interviewing myself. I guess that could help me understand myself more and what I want. Then I’ll have a better understanding of what I need to work towards. Ex : ” What were some things you experienced when you were younger? How do you think that effects you today?” ” What is your support system?” ” What are some toxic traits that you have? Where do you believe they come from? “
Ye Mouj-E-Nafs Kya Hai, Talwar Hai Khudi Kya Hai, Talwaar Ki Dhaar Hai What is this whiff of air called breath? A sword, and selfhood is that sword’s sharp edge. Khudi Kya Hai, Raaz-E-Daroon-E-Hayat Khudi Kya Hai, Baidari-E-Kainat What is the self? Life’s inner mystery, What is the self? The universe’s waking up. Khudi Jalwa Badmast-O-Khilwat Pasand Samundar Hai Ek Boond Pani Mein Band The self, drunk with display, is fond of solitude; —an ocean enclosed in a drop -Allama Iqbal (from his poem Saqi Nama)
The explanation of knowing who one is is the legacy of being known properly by someone else…… that was deep. So many of us were never studied or properly attended emotionally, spiritually or mentally thus leaving us with no true fixation for discovering ourselves. This was such an awesome and well thought out dialogue!
“Through their eyes we can learn to study, perhaps for the 1st time, how we really feel” – “We can, by being witnessed generously, more often learn to take our own side. Doesn’t this solution sound like part of the problem: going through the eyes of someone else to find ourself? Is there an independant way to know ourself?
I’m fifteen and I don’t know myself, I don’t know what I like (it could be tv shows, hobbies or whatever), I don’t know which people I wanna associate with, I don’t know which people I wanna be friends with so as a consequence I end up always searching for them because I am always unsatisfied with the people I unconsciously surround myself with. The fact that I am ok with doing absolutely nothing all day, just scrolling through tiktok EVERYDAY, not improving myself or exercising or doing anything, it really scares and worries me, but even though I AM scared that I will always be like this, I don’t mind this flavourfuless life, and that’s the part that scares me the most. It’s true that most days I just go to sleep and don’t think about it much, but when I do, I feel so desperate. I wanna be able to feel passionate about things, but even though I tried I can’t bring myself to truly like anything. I lost all the passion that I had for things that I though would revolve around my life for a long time if not forever, for example drawing: I absolutely loved drawing, since I was a kid, and now I haven’t been doing that for three whole years. I haven’t touched a pencil since forever, and I feel like a very important part of me is missing. That’s just an example of a passion that I lost, but there are many more, like playing computer games, going to swim in the swimming pool, mangas, anime etc. I feel like I lost myself, and I can’t find me anymore. I always end up searching articles like these, hoping I will find little pieces of myself one by one, but the advices are always the same, and the more I follow them the more I feel lost.
Only when you know yourself, you can control your mind and for this, the best way is to analyse our day to day mistakes which we do. Write down in a diary, about the causes of our depression and happiness. Understand our day to day distractions which we can easily get carried away from our goal, and trying to avoid all those distractions by pre-planning. Analysing our ability to learn new skills and the hindrance involved in it while learning. Understanding the environment which keeps use emotionally disturbed and bringing out strategies to face it and not avoid it
Honestly I’ve been trying to figure out who I am because am someone who wants to change pple tend to isolate themselves not that I give af so everybody tends to judge you like they know or something and honestly I am tired of everybody’s shit if a person disrespects who I am old or young I ain’t taking in there shit and honestly I’ve been too nice and silent and pple still judge me.Any recommended app to help me find a travel buddy I want to travel…
making the time to learn about yourself is highly recommended. Other people’s knowledge of us can seem to surpass our own at times! Gaining deeper insight into your own beliefs, values, opinions, and personality can be beneficial while making future plans. It’s crucial to know who you are for several reasons, including finding your best communication style and forming friendships.
I tried being alone for 32 years, didn’t do me good. Yesterday I thought I was going to have put myself in hospital, due to how bad of an anxiety – I wouldn’t even call it an attack, how long it was going on – episode I had, but today after randomly bumping into my friend’s mother and actually having a real conversation with her for the first time I felt like my perspective changed a lot, I was energized, whereas usually I was severely drained from people, I felt like I could take on living and socializing. A lot of shame I carry around from my past selves, and much of that shame was amplified by the inner voices that are actually my mothers and fathers. I shame myself a lot after just about anything and I don’t praise myself for anything at all. I’ve done some good things, some cool things, yet I don’t seem to see just about anything good about myself just about most of the time. Writing this made me realize I really need help to navigate this thing. Growing up isolated, always under the jurisdiction of my parents, has really done a number on me. I feel like no one would believe me if I spoke about the things I’m afraid of. It’s really crippling, the stuff that goes in my head first and foremost and then obviously the fruit of these thoughts – manifested in this realm, even if just as perceived reality, nonetheless a very real one on my end – my extreme social anxiety. I sought out help and need to go through with it, even though I’m really scared of medication. I was there once before and it wasn’t doing me any good, actually it was the same shitty really with even shittier side effects.
Thank you for the clip, short sweet and to the point. Yes it’s real except I was the little black gal 😂. I was left alone at 13 and I did end up taking in therapy and she said that was emotional neglect. I never knew such a thing existed. The funny thing is my Mumzy gave me a book the title was on point Who am I? There were a lot of masks on the cover. That book mirrored what I was thinking of. I began to journal at 13 I bought a white journal with my allowance, so I started to have my own original voice. I saw the Bible and it clicked that I had a father far away and I started going to church. My Mumzy told me I was a strange young girl, but I was searching for my identity. I can write a book about this but it’s bang on how without the mirror happening you’re lost. At church I was baptized and was told I was a new creation old things passed away. I had a new identity and a new father. My life has never been the same since that adoption in His kingdom. Basically He took Care of me supernaturally. He has never left me emotionally or any other way. He guides me where to go and I don’t have to lean on my own limited understanding. I love your website it’s very insightful and thought provoking. I felt like sharing because this subject will always resonate deep inside of me. I know what that isolated neglect can do to your psyche, but for me I escaped through church.
At 1:58 I really think you should say “if we’re lucky” not “if we’re blessed”. I’m not religious, but if you are, and you believe in being blessed, i don’t think you would believe that some people are blessed but others are not for no particular reason. The stoic philosopher Epictitus said “But he is a bad father. (Are) you naturally entitled, then, to a good father? No, only to a father.” That line really hit me and I loved that line the second i read it (#30 in the link below). I spent years being angry that my father was emotionally neglectful, never affectionate, constantly ignored me, and constantly acted like i did something wrong or spoke to me (the only time he spoke/still speaks to me, is to accuse me of doing something that i didn’t do, scold me for something he thinks i should do differently, or ask me something frivolous if i am far away, like about the weather, because that is what people ask people who are in a different place, he thinks ) with a very accusatory tone. It constantly made me for years feel like i could never do anything right, when i was a very good kid who never lied and never did anything wrong at all, but still i felt completely hated and rejected. This of course, led me to seek out relationships with the same type of person, people who didn’t really like me and didn’t treat me right or show me love, hoping to correct that rejection and disapproval of me that he had. Of course, this never works, and sets most anyone who does it, which is most everyone who had an abusive parent, into the same abusive and dysfunctional relationship you had with your parent who couldn’t love you in the way you wanted and needed, because they themselves were probably rejected by their parent who was like that from their parent’s abuse or some other adverse situation or trauma they experienced in their lives.
I am 17 years old from a Indian family. I had a boyfriend and I broke up with him because he wasn’t Indian too. I don’t know if I am racist or not? But I felt pressured because my parents want me to Marry Indian but I don’t know if culture matters that much to me or if I want to marry outside. I just don’t know what I want and I am worried I will never be able to commit
Maybe we need to stop with this myth that perfect parents exist anywhere in the world. Parents can never and will never live up to their children‘s expectations and will never meet their needs perfectly. Growing up imperfect IS what growing up is about. There is no other option to life. Life wasn‘t particularly unfair to you, and you aren‘t the exception for having been neglected here and there. Every child is neglected in some way. That‘s just what happens. Learn to be happy of course. But also: stop phantizising about this magical place where perfect parenting exists. It doesn‘t.
hey idk if anyone will reply to this rant but i just wanna get it off my chest my parents are divorced and i live in a society where divorce isn’t normalised at all, my parents divorce was messy and doesn’t sit right with the society standards in my country, i have two younger sisters im the eldest we live with our dad, im starting tenth class now and a lot of things have been hitting me all at once, idk anything about myself ive wasted five years grieving over the lose of my family, I regret wasting so many years, i have so much responsibility on my shoulders and all these years i didnt have the strength to take accountability for the responsibility, now im out of my denial stage i feel like a failure because idk what to do, my dad is the only person who financially supports me and my siblings im not in contact with my mom, idk how to get my life to be normal
I blame my parents a 100% for identity crisis. Their harsh words and them emotionally neglecting me caused me to go through the worse. I can’t even stand up for myself, I can’t even fight for myself. I always have to look for validation from people when making decisions. My parents ruined me mentally. Know everyone sees me as some weak, coward individual when in fact I am not. Now I am alone trying help myself out of this situation.
now that i think about it i grew up being invalidated by my mom and my dad(not blaming them nobody’s perfect+i’m their first child). they always told me what i’d do wrong, but not how to fix my behavior. i stopped respecting actual adults and started people pleasing the people my age at like 12. i’m 19 now and just realized about 6 months ago how fucked up of a person i’ve been for so long. wish me luck on my healing journey 💕
My whole life I’ve felt like a background character in a TV show, just waiting for the day for me to become a character everybody loves. I try different ones but as soon as I find a flaw that doesn’t go well, I stop and return to my quiet, shy self. People think I’m a psycho but the only ways of behaving socially is from tv so I tend to go all in. I don’t know much about life and how to live it but I do know that I need help
Something that’s been bothering me a lot lately is that I feel as though I can’t be my authentic self around my dad. If I have a different opinion then him, I don’t say it and I’m afraid of being honest with him. This bothers me a lot because your father is someone you should be very close to and feel like you can be yourself around, but I feel as though I often don’t say what I believe or get mad at someone like him when I feel that way; instead I just suck it up so that our relationship doesn’t get worse.
Is it just me or did none of this make any sense? I’ve watched the article twice and for the hell of me I seriously can’t make any sense of it. I’m still like “what the hell did I just watch?” I know I heard every word but none of it is actually saying anything. I believe it’s because this entire article hinges on the concept of self esteem which a lot of modern clinical psychologists don’t believe that it actually exists. KNOWING myself has nothing to do with how I feel about myself because I don’t believe it’s even possible to feel anything about myself. I just am. All my feelings are outwards because I am the source, just as all the light from the sun is expelled outward, it would be ludicrous to believe the sun can shine backwards unto itself just as I believe it’s borderline insane to believe we can “love ourselves” or have self esteem as if we are a separate person from ourselves. Just the concept of it sounds like a mental disorder.