Stunting is a condition where children’s physical growth is lower-than-normal for their age, affecting approximately 160 million children under five worldwide. It is caused by poor nutrition, repeated infections, and inadequate psychosocial stimulation. Children are defined as stunted if their height-for-age is more than two standard deviations below the WHO Child Growth Standards median. Stunted growth has public health impacts, including increased risk for illness and premature death, delayed neurocognitive development, and reduced school performance.
The main causes of stunting include intrauterine growth retardation and inadequate nutrition to support rapid growth and development of infants and young people. Stunting is a syndrome where linear growth failure serves as a marker of multiple pathological disorders associated with it. It casts a shadow over a child’s future and is strongly associated with lifelong reduced cognitive abilities and poor health. Compared to a healthy child, a stunted child is more likely to have stunted growth.
Stunting and its effects typically become permanent, with stunted children never regaining the height lost. Deworming programs can affect the growth and development of children, and socioeconomic and ecological factors also play a role. Certain genetic abnormalities and diseases can cause hormonal imbalances that could lead to stunted growth.
Children’s growth rates can slow at any age before reaching their final height, which happens just after puberty when growth plates within the bones fuse. Malnutrition often results in growth deceleration, while nutritional rehabilitation results in incomplete catch-up growth. Stunting emerges in the early infancy stage and is associated with a dysfunctional immune system, increasing the risk of mortality in children below the age of five.
In conclusion, stunting is a significant public health issue that affects approximately 160 million children under five worldwide. It is a result of inadequate nutrition, repeated infections, and poor social stimulation, leading to impaired growth and development.
📹 Twenty-Seven Year Old Man Hasn’t Reached Puberty — The Doctors
Brandon, 27, says he’s never gone through puberty and despite being 6 foot 3 inches tall, feels he has the appearance of a …
What are the main causes of stunted growth?
Short stature is a condition where a child’s growth development slows due to genetic factors, chronic diseases, growth hormone deficiency, malnutrition, or psychosocial stress. Pediatricians measure a child’s height at every well-child visit, tracking their growth rate towards their estimated target height. This standardized formula helps doctors identify potential growth problems, such as short stature.
Yale Medicine has expertise in diagnosing and treating short stature, and can offer early access to new treatments through clinical trials. The diagnosis of short stature means a child may experience slower growth and may not have access to new treatments.
What are the effects of stunted growth?
Research has long-term impacts on individuals and societies, including impaired cognitive and physical development, reduced productivity, poor health, and an increased risk of degenerative diseases like diabetes. This includes reduced productive capacity, poor health, and increased risk of degenerative diseases like diabetes. Copyright © 2024 Elsevier B. V., its licensors, and contributors. All rights reserved, including text and data mining, AI training, and similar technologies.
What happen when a person goes with a stunted growth?
Impaired growth in early childhood, particularly from conception to the age of two, can lead to poor cognitive and educational performance, low adult wages, lost productivity, and increased risk of nutrition-related chronic diseases in adulthood. Linear growth in early childhood is a strong marker of healthy growth, as it is associated with morbidity and mortality risk, non-communicable diseases in later life, and learning capacity and productivity.
It is closely linked to child development in cognitive, language, and sensory-motor capacities. The WHO conceptual framework on the context, causes, and consequences of childhood stunting is available for interactive viewing.
How do you know if your growth is stunted?
Stunting is a condition where a child’s height is below the Z-score -2 on the WHO child growth chart, indicating short stature. It can be caused by genetic and family factors, such as both parents being short stature. The Ministry of Health of the Republic of Indonesia defines stunting as a child’s length/height measurement below the WHO standard, indicating that stunting cannot be determined based solely on feelings or without specific measurements. Weight measurement is also crucial to determine if stunting is due to nutritional problems.
What are the disadvantages of stunted growth?
Stunted growth, also known as stunting or linear growth failure, is a condition characterized by impaired growth and development due to low height-for-age. It is a primary manifestation of malnutrition and recurrent infections, such as diarrhea and helminthiasis, in early childhood and even before birth. The World Health Organization defines stunting as having a height-for-age value less than two standard deviations of the median of WHO Child Growth Standards.
Stunted growth is often associated with poverty, unsanitary environmental conditions, maternal undernutrition, frequent illness, and inappropriate feeding practices during early years of life. As of 2020, an estimated 149 million children under 5 years of age are stunted worldwide, with over 85 of these children living in Africa and Asia. Stunted children may never regain the height lost and may never gain the corresponding body weight.
Living in environments where many people defecate open due to lack of sanitation is an important cause of stunted growth in children. Stunted growth has public health impacts beyond the obvious impact of shorter stature.
What is it called when your growth is stunted?
Stunted growth, also known as stunting or linear growth failure, is a condition characterized by impaired growth and development due to low height-for-age. It is a primary manifestation of malnutrition and recurrent infections, such as diarr
hea and helminthiasis, in early childhood and even before birth. The World Health Organization defines stunting as having a height-for-age value less than two standard deviations of the median of WHO Child Growth Standards.
Stunted growth is often associated with poverty, unsanitary environmental conditions, maternal undernutrition, frequent illness, and inappropriate feeding practices during early years of life. As of 2020, an estimated 149 million children under 5 years of age are stunted worldwide, with over 85 of these children living in Africa and Asia. Stunted children may never regain their lost height or gain the corresponding body weight. Living in environments with lack of sanitation is a significant cause of stunted growth in children.
What happens if I stunt my growth?
Stunted growth in children has significant public health impacts, including increased risk of illness and premature death, delayed neurocognitive development, reduced cognitive capacity, future obesity risk, and complications during childbirth. Shorter stature women also face greater risks for complications during childbirth due to their smaller pelvis, leading to low birth weight babies. Stunted growth can be passed on to the next generation, known as the “intergenerational cycle of malnutrition”.
Stunted children at age 2 have a higher risk of poor cognitive and educational achievement, leading to socio-economic and inter-generational consequences. Multi-country studies suggest that stunting is associated with reduced schooling, decreased economic productivity, and poverty. Stunted children also display a higher risk of developing chronic non-communicable conditions such as diabetes and obesity as adults.
If a stunted child undergoes substantial weight gain after age 2, there is a higher chance of becoming obese, which is believed to be caused by metabolic changes produced by chronic malnutrition. This can lead to other related non-communicable diseases such as hypertension, coronary heart disease, metabolic syndrome, and stroke.
Stunting is highly prevalent in low- and middle income countries (LMICs) and has severe consequences including increased risk of infections, mortality, and loss of human capital. The global prevalence of stunting decreased from 33 to 23 between 2000 and 2016. South Asia bears about 40 of the global burden of stunting due to its large population size.
How does stunted growth look like?
Stunting is a condition where a child’s height is lower than average for their age, often due to malnutrition, infections, or poor social stimulation. The World Health Organization defines stunted children as those with a height below the WHO’s Child Growth Standards Median. Stunting is different from wasting, which is low weight for a child’s height. It is a key link between hunger and poverty, affecting a child’s immune system, brain function, and organ development.
Stunting can limit future productivity and threaten the health of their own children. However, measures can be taken to prevent stunting, particularly in the first 1, 000 days between pregnancy and a child’s second birthday. Some effects can be reduced or reversed for stunted children.
Can you grow taller after stunted growth?
Malnourished children often have stunted bone maturity, which is a common issue in impoverished societies and can be caused by diseases like coeliac disease, inflammatory bowel disease, and hormonal deficiency. However, when these children are followed into adulthood, they typically experience some degree of spontaneous catch-up growth. Changes in environment, such as adoption, emigration, or disease treatment, can lead to definite catch-up growth, although it may not meet National Health Service (NHS) standards.
If puberty is delayed or growth continues into the early or mid-twenties, an acceptable final adult height can be achieved. However, genetic imprinting in early development may limit an individual’s maximum height, leading to advanced puberty and early cessation of growth.
Data from US slaves and cases of hormonal replacement show that if circumstances change, almost complete reversal of stunting is possible among children in the Third World. The children can reach their own height potentials, but total reversal to affluent societal norms would likely require cross-generational catch-up. The most obvious reason for this lack of catch-up is the availability of an appropriate diet over a sufficient period of time. Sulphur has been neglected as an essential nutrient, and its economy should be examined in relation to skeletal growth in stunted populations.
In conclusion, malnourished children in developing countries face a significant challenge in achieving their full potential, particularly in terms of bone maturity and reversibility of stunting.
What are the dangers of stunting?
Stunting, wasting, and underweight are indicators of malnutrition in children, with stunting referring to a child’s low height for their age, wasting to being too thin for their height, and underweight to having low weight for their age. The 2006 WHO child growth standards are recommended for international contexts to construct height-for-age, weight-for-height, and weight-for-age z-scores. If a child’s height-for-age z-score is less than two standard deviations compared to the WHO Child Growth Standards median of the same age and sex, they are considered stunted.
Weight-for-height z-score below two standard deviations is wasted and indicates acute undernutrition or fast weight loss. Weight-for-age z-score under two standard deviations is considered underweight.
The World Health Organization (WHO) has declared the resolution of global targets on maternal and child nutrition as a priority, with the primary goal of reducing childhood stunting by 40 globally or 3. 9 between 2012 and 2025. The Indonesian government has issued several policies and regulations to address the malnutrition problem, particularly stunting. Implementing these policies and regulations is hoped to assist the management of stunting through monitoring and evaluation activities, contributing to the reduction of the stunting problem in Indonesia.
According to the 2018 RISKESDAS data, the proportion of stunted children under five in Indonesia has dropped from 37. 2 to 30. 8, with East Nusa Tenggara province having the highest stunting rate. Factors such as inappropriate complementary feeding practices, exposure to viruses, poor breastfeeding habits, inadequate maternal nutrition, poor water quality and sanitation, healthcare services, food systems, and education also affect stunting prevalence. Effective interventions must focus on identifying risk factors for stunting, with this study aiming to pinpoint these risk factors in East Nusa Tenggara province, Indonesia.
What are the complications of short stature?
Short stature in children may indicate chronic occult disease and require thorough examination. Common complications include bowed legs, arthritis, kyphosis, spinal stenosis, syringomyelia, sleep apnea, hydrocephalus, and weight gain. Complications associated with GH therapy include possible predisposition to type-2 diabetes, benign intracranial hypertension, edema/carpal tunnel syndrome, slipped capital femoral epiphysis, scoliosis, and prepubertal gynecomastia. Management of these complications can involve temporary therapy termination until symptoms resolve and restarting at lower doses.
📹 Jordan Peterson – What Nobody Tells You About Growing up
Carl jung talked about this phenomena. He cried phenomenon. He described as a retrogressive restoration of the persona.
My puberty was delayed until I was 16, so at school I felt like this guy, isolated, embarrassed, and without sexual desire. I even thought about the possibility that I had some hormonal imbalance, but thank God everything worked out. Today I am 20 years old and my physical development and testosterone levels are normal.
I was a late bloomer myself so I know how this guy feels. I didn’t hit puberty until I was 16, and even then the changes of puberty happened very slowly in me. It took me till I was 19 to grow a beard when almost every guy in my class had one at 15 or 16, even my cousin who was 2 years younger than me hit puberty before me. I know my life wasn’t as hard as this man’s, but I know the feeling of being bullied by your peers and considered different, the embarassment of meeting younger kids who are taller and look more mature than you.. Hopefully they put him on hormonal therapy and he’s happier with how he looks now
So much respect and admiration for Brandon. It’s difficult enough to navigate your teen years, but for him to reach out for help knowing that it may come with judgment from others, can’t be underestimated how brave that is. I think he eventually had hormone therapy, which enabled those processes that he should’ve gone through in his teens, to happen for him. He’s also likely to have maxed out in terms of height now, since his growth plates will have fused. Other than getting the help he needed, Brandon’s bravery will have helped others going through a similar situation. I wish only the best for him and others like him.😊
I am 16 and i was being bully really bad at school just because i have a late puberty and even the teacher make fun of me,no one could ever understand my feeling,i just want to be like somebody else,having a facial hair,having a manly voice because of that i dont really like to have a conversation with new people because i was scare that they are going to ask me my age and judge me.that is all i got to say here and dont bully someone just because they dont hit thier puberty yet,that really hurt feeling.sorry for my bad English,
I’m 17. I’m 18 in 25 days. Believe me, it’s one of the most uncomfortable and embarrassing things a human being (especially for boys) can possibly go through. Even though I’m almost 18, my voice sounds like I’m 11-13 years old. Im like 6’0 tall, but you can tell from a mile away that I’m underdeveloped. I hope puberty hits me hard over the next 2 months before university starts. I really don’t wanna deal with doctors, testosterone injections and all that stuff, as I really don’t want more family or friends to be aware of how bad this issue is for me.
Not sure why YouTube recommended me this but all in all, I feel bad for this guy. Around 0:41 the way he walks and slouches over really tells you he’s not comfortable with his body and probably feels like an outcast when he’s in public due to the amount of possible bullying and people staring at him in the past. Hopefully he’s living a normal life now
Bro looks at least 6 foot and definitely looks older than 20 so he must’ve gone through puberty to an extent. It could just be genetics since micropenis’s exist and mens voices change all throughout your 20s and 30s. I’m asian with no arm or leg hair. I know lots of other asians who are short, look younger and have very little hair. Any of us would 100% trade places with this guy lol.
It’s kind of fascinating seeing this guy experience gender dysphoria as a cis person. Like, this is a perfect illustration of what gender dysphoria feels like. This guy is clearly upset talking about how he doesn’t feel like a guy because he never went through puberty. That’s literally gender dysphoria – and what do the doctors do? They put him on HRT, and he goes through puberty and “transitions” to manhood!
On regards to the height, pre puberty you grow at a slow, steady pace. During puberty you grow in rapid spurts. Post puberty you stop growing more or less. This guy never left step one, and while probably shorter during his actual teenage years as puberty growth is more rapid, that slow steady pre-puberty growth kept going
I truly learned to be a man at the age of 21 when I took care of my dying father, he passed two days before I turned 22 and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, I am now 24 and doing better than ever, more of a man than I ever have been, for anyone reading this- right on the other side of pain and trials and tribulations is success and happiness…stay strong
I’m 16 now and my mother said:” you are old enough, I can’t forbid you anything anymore, because if you really want to do it, you would find a way to do it anyway. The only thing I can do, is giving advice so that you won’t make the same mistakes I did. You might do different ones, but everyone has to do mistakes and make their own experiences.”
When my dad died, I did not cry. My relationship with him had died long before that. He never liked my life choices (my career, religious views, and focus on my wife and kids) and I knew at some point I had to choose his path or the path I truly believed. He never accepted that so I avoided him to avoid the insults. On the other hand, I’m trying to encourage my sons to excel and also to choose their own path. I try to point out the successes they have and still motivate them to become better at things I think will help them. Not sure if I’m getting it right but I keep trying.
Things can turn pathological when your parents do not give up and always, at all costs, want to be over you, controlling, and not letting life go on, just stick to you as a child, not assuming you ve grown up, not letting you advance in your life. Its natural to some point, but it could be a nightmare if they are not sane.
My brother experienced living alone when he was just 16, he moved to other city to work to support us. But he returned not he’s scared but my mom called him back. Now he’s working, and sometimes whatever he say makes me realise he’s grown up so fast that whatever he say has a depth meaning and value. He’s 21 now, he also said he don’t want to get married in future or ever. Reason is he say -” ‘World is dying’, I don’t want my kids to suffer what we grown up generation did with Earth and it’s Nature, a lots of hate between Religion, and Nations. People think everything is fine in their streets doesn’t mean the world is peaceful” .
This is exactly what i am going through, I come from a middle class family and i am trying to break the chain and become very successful through ecommerce and digital marketing and I feel like i don’t need to go to college but My dad wants me to become a docter or lawyer . So i am deciding to disassociate myself from my family and friends and get out of my comfort zone, work and chase my dream
I decided to live alone and stay away from “home”. My dad is a good person and cares a lot about me but he become so controlling in every single thing. But i cant stay away from my mom, this is one of the hardest part. So i visit them once a week. I am working as a freelance graphic designer, tho im still strugling and got little salary at this moment cause im just starting, im much happier and easier to plan everything.
As someone who’s considered himself a mama’s boy throughout all of his 24 years in this life, and who’s never been successful in establishing any emotional bond with his father (though his physical presence was for the most part there throughout the same time span), this evoked a lot of emotional clarification in me. No wonder I’ve always found it difficult to outgrow my immature tendencies, when it’s so comfortable just being mama’s boy, living in safety under her divine wings, spoiled from the very beginning, never dared to do much out of order or take risks in life in fear of judgment by the very one you hold closest to your heart. The very person you can look at or think of and only see light, feel it shining. I suppose I have my work cut out for me, time to take action and experience mortality.
It’s hard to be independent of your parents when you try to be independent and they get toxic, even having grandma writing letters to me and my siblings who tried or moved out on how were awful people and family sticks together. I try and tell them I need to move to get a job in my field (Software developer but mostly game development) because there no jobs in my area and they don’t listen but then say why don’t I have a job in my field. Edit: My Parents are not poor and don’t need me from a money perspective. So its not about taking care of them. Their helicopter parents.
I know I’m old now ( 68 ) but it was easy back when I grew up. They said ” you are 18 now get out ” . I got a job roofing tar roofs in Houston making minimum wage, which I think was about $1.25 hr . After a few months of that in the sweltering heat I said to hell with this and joined the navy. I hated that also but it was probably the best thing I ever did because it taught me how to be responsible. I’ve been fairly successful and had a pretty good life. The real problem is that there is no book on how to raise children and I know that I made a lot of mistakes raising my own but they both love and respect me so I must have done something right. My parents were abusive and non loving. If you come from that environment do your best to break the chain.
My family all moved away when I was 18. I decided not to go with them and suffered harsh criticism and rejection over it. They made it hard, wouldn’t help me out and no longer invited me to family functions. I needed to be my own person and never looked back. We find strength when we need to. ✌️❤️ Edit to add. It’s been many years later and we did make a mends. I never ever lived with my family again though. Just wanted to make that part clear. ❤️
I have been living on my own for two years and am considering going back. I enjoy the freedom but it’s starting to seem empty, like I’m just living for myself. I feel like my home is still there. My parents have always been supportive of me, they respect me and treat me as an equal. And while I see their shortcomings, there is still a lot that I want to learn from them, and they’re still the people I care about the most.
I came back from Ireland to Singapore to visit my parents after 2 years of not seeing them and not only a couple of hours arriving into the house, the constant complaining of each other’s lives overshadows my trip back to see them. Even after a couple of days, it’s the constant complaining of things of the past and vices that my parents have that clouds their lives. I just feel like there’s not much I can do to change their attitude or mindset anymore and it’s a pity instead of enjoying their golden years, their routine is usually mundane and they quarrel over money as though having a lot of money would change anything when in the first place they don’t have any thing they want to do or acquire but yet they feel the need to have more money while they didn’t sow any seeds in the past. And now my older brother feels the guilt of my dad and has to support them 90% financially. It’s just insane.
That’s one of the hardest moments of my life. I moved out when I was 19, then came back for about a year when I was 21, and I remember being home but no longer feeling comfortable there. My mind had gone too far for its own self reliance that though my mom cooking for me was nice, I didn’t like feeling taken care of. I felt frustrated when asking for advice and then not feeling comfortable with their answer because it used to be that they always had it without question. After moving out again I became even more independent, I found that the more I did things and figured them out myself, the more confident I became. I still got my parents opinion but ultimately it was more perspective to go off of, but never a full answer. there were parts of me that I had to leave behind and it was very painful, because even if I wanted them back, I knew too much for them to be the same
Left home this year at 24 moved to the Netherlands to study and live. Tough to come to terms with I’m out of my comfort zone but i have found ways to cope. It’s exciting and interesting how to adapt without the guidance of others. You learn alot about yourself and your capabilities. Kind of wish I did it sooner
I’m 19 and I’m already having to take care of my mom. It’s a strange experience to me but it’s also a bit surreal and sobering one. I care for my mom and I love her but I’ve never cared for her in a since that she needed my help. I’m ready to face the world and in many ways I already have but I still struggle with the idea of being completely separated from my parents. It’s almost as if a part of me is still attached to them despite not actually living with them anymore. I know I won’t feel fully detached until I’m older but I can’t help to feel a need of detachment.
My mother is my father in this respect. The judgement is always there. My father is just a drunk, who sporadically abuses me but also provides council. My mother provides council too. All of it in some form or other abusive and tyrannical. I’m moving soon and am considering cutting all ties in order to self actualise
Due to circumstances caused by the pandemic, I ended moving back with my parents. He’s right — I can’t be the person I was before moving out on my own. It’s a totally different dynamic and life than before. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to be with them again. They have still helped me during these difficult times. But it’s not the same as it once was. However, this article makes me wonder about Hispanic households and how it’s common for generations to live together well past 18 years old
“Yeah my life’s a mess BUT I won’t watch this coz Blordan Jeterson is reinforcing the patriarchal sis-heteronormatif hierarchies within systemic white supremacist structures… according to people who’ve educated me about him… sooo… let’s tear down society and… build new structures… though I’ve never started & run a business myself… so who’s with me? Anyone? Anyone??” – every Peterson “critic” I’ve encountered so far. 😣🤦♂️
You have only truly grown-up when your father can no longer cause you to feel judged. The dichotomy for both the child and the father, is that the better the father, the tougher it is to break free unless you are very driven or very romantic, and you try your heart out to make your father a better person, in the words of JP and in his trademark acerbic tone ‘well, good luck with that’. So I have concluded that an average father is the easiest to break away from.
Tricky. My father was charismatic and wise. He was a judge in court and listened carefully to each case. A court usher said “the prisoners were safe in his hands” He worked with 11 to 18 year olds for almost 45 years. He knew decisions and their played out consequences. His peers and other people my age sought his opinion and views. Yet when he died amidst the grief I felt a freedom. I no longer needed to justify my actions and decisions. Yet he rooted and tooted for me 100%, wanted the best for me. Humans are very complicated
Me at 16 perusal this know I understand this 100% I feel this way with my mom I know I can do things on my own and make my own decisions but she don’t listen she still tells me how to dress and what to look like and when I say no or do the opposite of what she said she gets mad and I end up doing what she said anyway
I personally live with my parents at the age of 34 I moved out at 17 and came back 20 years later to help my family from being too disabled to live on their own and as an Italian you are taught to one day need to take care of them especially the only boy. Having time, no place after splitting up with my ex wife and losing everything was once looked at as perfect timing but seven years later, I have learned so much about who I am who I want to be and who I am choosing to be and with my father I have learned why my childhood was the way it was and why I had become whatever it is I am now. As a father myself, I will never keep that horrible cycle that I hated at 13
The last line struck me. My dad suffered from stroke, since then he became a little less of the person that he was. I always looked upto him for his approval in whatever I did. Gradually I became my own person, I realised it’s time I take my own decisions, though not completely ignoring him. It’s my time to take care of him, and I only pray that I do the best for him just as he did for me. Its with time only that we realise that our parents also grow old and need our support although they me never say it upfront.
Real talk, I had a hyper tyrannical parent. And in a verbal/emotional abuse way. I remember that one of my biggest points of growth, emotionally, was when this parent finally showed weakness and I was able to see myself free from their tyrannical authority. I can see how this can be scary. I can see why many young men end up stuck being perpetual children, especially if they’ve a good relationship with their parent
I completely agree with this, it’s a bittersweet feeling, you feel free and capable of doing what you want, but when things get rough you have to deal with it on your own, you don’t have that person that helps you with everything. The first time I realized that was when I started noticing that I was disagreeing a lot with my parents, thinking stuff like “they don’t know anything about this”, and then I was just slowly realizing that they are just people like me, they probably feel exactly how I’ll feel in the future being a father, like “how did I get here?”.
Great talk, so much depth. Yes, I am living off all by my own and its been 4 years now and I have become more wiser. When you depend more on being independent you become more mentally stronger and no hardship seems that difficult because you always find your way out and it always bring the best out of yourself. You are your own man.
Now, there’s another part that’s important… When that death must happen ? Both my parents died symbolically when I was 13. I was now a friend and not a daughter anymore. Someone that had to listen to their problems and find the solution. I’m 20 now and it’s a time for me to make a great decision. Lyckily this article came on the right time in my recommended. Crazy how fate works (or the algorithms). I now realized that I should not make a decision as a daughter, sister, friend, granddaughter but as myself. Being close to your family is great, but think where is it that you should draw the line. Stuck in limbo all those years, not being seen as a kid but not as an individual makes you unaware of your great power. Somtimes you just got to write your own script and forget the great parents or the great childhood that could have been. Ideally, in my opinion, the gradual symbolic death of the parents should happen with their assistance (more like a suicide) when the man/woman is around 18-20. By 21 parents should have been able to give their children all the advice and “equipment” they need. Remember that sometimes, when parents are incapable of taking that role, they are the ones dependent on their children and they don’t want to die. Thank you for this article. It literally will change the course of my whole life. Now, I decide as an adult.
I would never force a dream onto my children, but I do expect them to follow through with their commitments to theirs because yes there will be a day, they will be on their own, and it can be ugly. I will never micromanage how they do it, but I do understand how some choices will haunt you later down the road. They can hate me for it. Thats fine, they can not listen at the time. My hope is when the water starts to ripple my words reach them, not stop the life they will lead, lessons they will learn, but I saw those ripples, my mom saw those ripples, her Mom saw those ripples my Mom and me beat the odds pulling the Boulder up that hill, of course all different lessons, but the heartache all the same…we jumped feet first into that rippling water thinking we had it all figured out. I hope my young will seek another pool. For that, i will be the support, trust their decisions, and tell them when they are being bone heads without the candy coating. That might not be the right way. But im human, and im just trying to do better. I have to add, my parents were still pretty darn awesome ❤
I left home at 18, came back at 23 and its so different. Ive seen myself slipping back into my old identity but it doesnt fit with me at all anymore. Pinocchio sitting outside his old house with his head in his hands is where im at right now, but im starting to seperate from my mom and be more responsible on my own, going to college in the spring and trying to get my own place for once.
With me the thing is that I’ve been taking action and fighting the fight to Man Up yet it seems as if my Father actually wants to prevent me from manning up and keep me in boy status. As well as he wants me to care for him and be his provider! We’ve been in so many fights about this! It pisses me off because I’m not holding me/myself back! Especially after I’ve put in the Hard/Smart WORK! 🤨 I’M also doing my best to be Cool Patient Focused Positive and Trust/Faith The Process!
I don’t really know what happened to me. I never went through age appropriate maturation like my peers and siblings did. I kind of feel like I’m still 12 emotionally. I’m 55 now. I noticed when I was a teen, my peers’ likes outpaced mine. I still enjoyed being a child and playing like a boy would. They moved on to other forms of entertainment and interests. I never experienced my rites of passage into adolescence and adulthood. I never made friends after childhood. I was so desperately lonely in middle and high school. Never went to a dance or either of my proms. Had no one to hang out with. I was always so scared and lonely. After graduating high school, I went to a university about 2 hours from home. Still can’t believe I did that on my own. On my first night there, I cried and was so extremely scared. I could not wait until the weekends came. I drove home every weekend. I was in so over my head. I went to class and then hid out in my room. Tried a few times to socialize but that was disastrous. I always felt like I had to hide the real me. After a year, I just simply couldn’t handle it. I loathed every single second I was away from home and literally counted down the hours until I could be back home. I transferred to a school that was only 50 minutes from home and after my first week, I realized I was not going to be able to adjust. Dropped out and literally hung out at home for 6 months. Finally got a low paying job but at least I was doing something and earning a little money.
As a 25yo without a dad present (I love him but see him rarely and he was never a father figure, more like a friend), I’m not sure how to interpret this. It does ring true when he talks about trying to fit into my childhood state, even though I’m a man with responsibilities now I still try to isolate a bunch of free time and retreat into my old article game habits. I know I should socialize, exercise, and have ambitions but I can’t seem to escape my own lack of discipline.
I found myself asking my oldest son when a person realizes that they really shouldn’t try and do some things they have always done for themselves for years? In my case it was handling internet fraud in on line dealings. He said if I want, just pass it off to him and he would be glad to help. What he said made me feel better.
My mother died when I was 22. She was just 42 and it hit me really hard as she gave me approval and validation (actual death). At the same time my father and I were at extreme odds for years and I no longer cared to seek his approval for anything (symbolic death). What I learned was that I sought and craved that approval. My angst was that I had to approve of myself and didn’t quite know how. And tho I had written my dad’s approval off, deep down I still wanted that from him, just didn’t expect or let it bother me. By my late 20s I was in full control of my life and achieved much. By my late 30s, I had let go of the anger and blame I placed on him and just told him, “I understand now.” No apologies asked or given, and he eventually ended up telling me that he was proud even tho I had my own mounting family crises. The God status we ascribe to our parents is a very juvenile thing. Some families perpetuate it if the parents have narcissistic or manipulative tendencies. The only to transcend is to accept that they aren’t perfect and other parents/families are worth learning from.
JP you rock. Unfortunately though on this matter you’re all wet. I’m a physician. My father, a retired orthodontist, will be a source of counsel and guidance to me for as long as I have him here on earth. In like fashion, his father (an attorney/judge) had a lifelong close relationship with and regularly gave counsel to my father. My grandfather’s father, in turn, was a farmer/entrepreneur who closely worked with and guided my grandfather. As I study my family history, a strong patriarchal tradition is apparent in as many generations as I’ve researched. I view this tradition as a gift. I’ll concede that most families don’t have this, but as a recipient of it’s incredible advantages, I assure you that such tradition is highly desirable. If I play my cards right, my children and their children will continue to benefit from this multi-generational paternal pattern.
Long ago I stopped asking for or taking my parents advice.. as I realized when I would ask them for it, especially on hard decisions, it always ended me up screwed. That applies to really anyone’s advice for that matter. They plan to a T and god is in every detail to them, when they get hit in the mouth it staggers or floors them but they make that work for them. They overplan and avoid risks. I wing things and go with my gut with enough details to get by, when I get hit in the mouth I roll with it.. I make it work for me. I plan to a point and accept risks. The methods and patterns that work for them are not the ones that work for me and visa versa. Eventually you have to learn to trust in yourself and your methods of seeking out the tough answers in the world.
I’m 68, married with two daughters, two granddaughters. Think I would rarely see my kids if they didn’t need some baby sitting or one of the granddaughters taken to/from school. They both are disrespectful unloving and uncaring. I don’t want to be around them anymore and it makes me sad to spend any time with them. Best thing for them (and me) is to put some distance between us.
Well I’m grateful to be here I’m not perfect nor was my parents we’re all human they lived in different times my mom played as the hero my dad played as the villain but you see I learned my dad wasn’t the villain the world is a vile place towards men no matter what you do no one is going to save you. So again I thank them no matter what they did or went through.
Wow profound. But in my case I never think I had a father. My father died when I was 17 and most the time growing up he wasn’t even around for judgement. I think it’s equally important to have a father tyrannical figure around for atleast first 16 years of life. And when you break yourself free from that image then growth happens. Otherwise even when you grow up you keep looking for that tyranny in other people to guide you somewhere. It’s not at all a good thing to not have someone standing between you and unknown from the very young age.
The death of my father symbolically was when I saw him cry for the first time for real. My the father of my mother, my grandfather, a couple of months ago and I really felt pain because I lived him. At his burial my father cried a lot because he saw him as his own father because his father had died when he was 14. I wasnt crying there, I dont know why, but that was the point when I noticed that my father is as weak as I am, he is also a human and not a god. He is not that immortal unbreakable guy that always gives you security. To understand thag was really shocking for me and made me go through a tough phase because my father was my biggest idol through all of my life?!? But I have to say, since I know that the difference between me and him are experiences and a different time, the bond between my fahher and me got noticeably stronger because we support us in our weaknesses. And like Mr Peterson said, acknowledging vulnerability and working on that makes you strong.
Growing up, my parents were on a big pedestal. Nobody knew better than them and I couldn’t suggest otherwise because that was wrong in their books. I didn’t like the unreasonable amount of emotional reliance my family had on me in my later teen and very early adult years, but I couldn’t question why my parents would treat me so low while also making me be the extra parent to my younger siblings. The moment that pedestal shattered was so sudden, it left everyone reeling. My mother did something terrible, and my father turned into somebody else because of it. The shouting, the arguments, how they ignored us, it affected me and my siblings badly. I tried to communicate that the issue wasn’t just between the parents anymore, that me and my siblings were still hurt by what was happening. I was basically gaslit and shamed by my mom. I remember realizing that how I felt didn’t matter to them, and the bad things of the world my parents would protect me from, had now become my parents. Now I was the barrier between my parents and younger siblings, and my parents had their symbolic death. Now, months after moving out, I feel so much happier, free. I still love them, keep in touch, ask them for advice, but now I make up my own mind on everything.
I don’t think adults ask their dad something because they couldn’t figure it out on their own but because they want them to feel more involved. Parents do notice when you’ve started to distance yourself from them. Involving them in important decisions like buying a car or your kid’s admission in school might not be that bad of an idea.
My father was useless always picking on me, when at 23 I gave up nursing after 6 months he picked on me even more. He was a sad bastard wanting to live his life failings through his kids. He achieved little in life but felt important carrying a bunch of keys on his belt because it made him feel important, sad really because the keys didn’t open any doors
I left home at 20 thinking I could conquer the world. The world conquered me, and at 27 went back home, left again at 29, was conquered again (badly this time) went back at 34, which is now. I concluded I rather let my dad conquer me than the world conquer me. Not sure if I should love him for being my fall back position or hate him for bringing me to a world where I am unable to fit.
As a 21 year old, this is the first summer I’ve spent away from home since being in college. I went home this past weekend for the first time since the new year and loved it but I realized something: I loved the comfort. I thought about taking the week off from work since it’s July 4 and staying home but decided it would be worse for me to do that than to just stay the weekend and get back to work Monday so I did just that. The struggle is what’s building my character and what will turn me from child to man. No more sitting and bathing in comfort. Seek out the discomfort and bathe in that.
You’d go to your parents because they are the most likely to give a shit about you. Your parents are also familiar with what you may already know and your current age. Going to a stranger of similar age could possibly give you false information just to mess with you and might just hate kids in general. Strangers have less of an obligation to teach you anything unless it benefits them.
Another study from “Happiness Advantage” is the independence on 3 different levels: Emotion, Logic and physical. When we are kids, we depend on all 3: 1. the emotions of our parents yelling or laughing will impact us directly so we depend on their emotions 2. the logic of our parents to think for you, so we can sleep with a full tummy at night. 3. the physical dependence is our parents feeding us because we don’t know how to farm, cook or eat (breast feeding) But later in life, we SHOULD, and this doesn’t always happen, we become independent on all 3. Recap: You can control how you react (emotions), you can think for yourself (logic) and you can take action for yourself (physical) Now, I feel like a lot of people take this too seriously and they want to become completely 100% independent, and that’s great until you realize that there’s other people in this world that you need to depend on to get stuff. So I think the ultimate goal is to be interdependent so we can depend on ourselves but we can also depend on others
My parents. I tell them I am on my way to being a successful millionaire and they think I am being scammed. But they also have no idea of the complexities of what it takes to run a business. They just live and they have no idea of what it takes to run a business on a successful level. I have a father who runs a business but has nothing to show for it. I got a mother who is a Christian but prays not for my success. Both of my family don’t believe that I am wealthy. I can tell them right in their faces I am rich but they don’t carr because they cannot see it.
In the end it’s all just BS. I have no desire for kids, marriage and the typical mainstream fluff. Could care less what others are wearing, driving or vacationing at for trend and prefer to purposely isolate myself. Retirement to me is confinement, a day where I’ll never HAVE to interact with deadlines and peoples opinions Ever again. If I die before 50, I welcome it. Life after 30, is for the family breeding types. Knowing what I know now. I would have been fine being dead at 25.
I liked that talk. Instead of giving me another solution to a problem like other articles or speeches (do this and do that but don’t do this) this one just got me thinking. Thanks for pumping some blood back into my head. It opened up my eyes and gave me a different perspective so I might understand certain people now. I didn’t have a father growing up although I know who he is but as much as I respect that man he never controlled my choices and neither did my mother. I think people want to go back to another version of themselves because there is a certain “in between” age lets say 22-46 that is making u more worrysome as a person and u r in defense mode for a good portion of ur life. What I mean by that is I couldn’t care less about what was happening in the world when I was a kid and more importantly I didn’t care what the world was thinking about me. That carelesness made us happier and it comes back with age sometimes after we realise we were stressing ourselves for nothing. A lot of people are not saying what they want to say but they form sentences in their head and adjust them to the conversation and person they are having it with to create an illusion of compliance. If u are trying to give the right answer everytime ur whole life becomes a job interview and u will be stressed just the same. Give YOUR answer and live. Life is too short to care about these little things. Thanks for joining my pep talk.
Is there anyone who goes through life unscathed. Who is to judge which one of us carries the greatest burden. Each of us has our own journey and the obstacles we encounter are our own. A great writer once said “A man can be destroyed but not defeated”. Pick up your load. Carry you cross and march resolutely forward. That obstacle which gives you pain is also a teacher of wisdom but only after you have devoured it. Life is what it is and wishes don’t change it. Nothing in your past can be changed. Don’t waste the experience. Embrace it and learn its lessons Everything in your future can be changed. Go Forward!
My dad wasn’t only trying to force a career that I didn’t like on me but also thought that ones he’s my father, i had to agree to everything he says or does. So after ( he) being my married to my mother for 31 years and building a beautiful home with her, mom unfortunately passed away suddenly and my dad moved on with the speed of light. within a year, he was wedding another woman whom he brought into the same house he built with my mother. My conscience immediately told me not to join in…because that was going to make me pretend. I left home and in 4 years, i have built a house much bigger than my father’s house. I think independence is our greatest power as individuals. My main motivation in doing this was to honour the memory of my beloved mom. My dad was eager to have me & my brother as unwilling spectators to his ‘one man show’, but we both left and now he has to play the show or game in an ” empty stadium ” without spectators. Lol. You hear your instincts better when you’re alone; never doubt it…… Believe of the ” self” is the key to every progress. 👏
From femininity to masculinity. The absence of seeking validation from a mans’ parents. Confident in your ability to impose your will on the part of the world you have chosen. You have picked your battles/path and only you knows better on how to explore said path, along with people who have walked that path before, which may/may not include people close to you. Best to see this as an opportunity to learn and discover skills you didn’t think you had.
I was taken back a bit psychologically when I started seeing the flaws first in my Dad. I started seeing him as just another human being. After my Dad past away I was free to be me and realizing more yes the scary part of the unknown but also the responsibility. Not everyday life decisions what am I going to wear or eat but the important decisions that will affect my future.
I remember wisdom that stuck from my dad, when I was in high school…I passed it on to mine…”Parents are just big kids…who had to figure out what to do by trial and error…then share that experience with you…we are as ignorant and scared as you…we just know how to hide it…for your sake…and you will do the same…you guys came with no handbook or manual…” and yes, it’s all true…I have felt exactly the same way about my own. I am an emergency/trauma nurse with much experience and I still felt helpless at times…
Hi, can anyone with help me out on this one? Haha, yés i know it is the internet and you are probably all experts 😇 🤪but since we are all here already, That “feeling that your parents are untouchable” : i cannot remember i ever really felt anything like that. Also that “i do not have the answers jessie” was so regular and normal, from a very young age; increasing over time into puberty and into adolescense untill their death (when the endless questions/critisism cultivated….the poor people i sure did a number on them 😢🙈 ohw..but not the point). What’s that? And how could that affect social development? I am interested since i want to be a good mother and i cannot relate to this article at all for some reason.
My parents got divorced when I was 8 years old. That was when they fell of the pedestal for me. I knew I would have to figure things out myself. As a teenager I began to make decisions that my father disagreed with. But I stuck to my guns and believed in myself and the path I was on. I am now far wealthier than my father and I have been married to the same woman for 24 years and we have 3 amazing kids who are making good choices. But the moment that really hit me was when my father and stepmother called me for MY advice on how to deal with my younger brother who was still living at home and giving them trouble. (My brother is now 33 and doing quite well for himself.) Since then my father has sought my advice on his will, retirement plan, and many other big decisions. The tables have completely turned. I love my Dad, which makes it so weird that he comes to me for help and advice instead of the other way around.
Peterson is projecting his resentment for his father. Failing at life doesnt make somebody want to reaffirm their value through their parents. Failing at life makes people want to regroup without judgement. This is why people resort to their childhood surroundings after failure. It makes them feel safe and think about how everything occured up to that point. Most successful people who have taken risks, have had a contingency. Families are the one form of refuge that gives you the confidence to take risks, because you know your parents have your back. If people should view their parents as just ordinary persons that have nothing to contribute to their existence, then the whole concept of nurturing and protecting a child is meaningless, and the whole concept of parenting should be focused on raising a stranger who never understands intimacy.
Sometimes the tyrant relationship is with the mother. This is prevalent in men who were raised by single mothers, and codependent or narcissistic families. (Speaking from personal experience) Same principles apply though, the man is made to feel inferior to his mother and is programmed to look to her as the true north for his moral compass. Even if she behaves unacceptably, she is above questioning and exempt from consequences. Even though shes still alive, my mother had to symbolically die before i could break free and embrace my independent identity. To date (at 29 years old), its one of the hardest things ive had to come to terms with and it took years of work and growth. Unfortunately, she has not been supportive and accepting of my independence. She sees it as abandonment and resents me as a result of it. Now i can only hope to educate myself to not make the same mistakes with my children.
Warning: This article does not tell you to abandon your father.. I respect JPs idea.. Your parents will not be there for you for all of your lifetime.. So eventually you will have to grow up and stand for your own.. My question is for growing up will the advise of a stranger work for you or the advise from your parents? Because Generally parents wish well for their children..a stranger might use you for their benefits..
I’m 21 and still live with my parents with really no direction for my life or future. I told them I wanted to move out, without mentioning how their over critical judgments, pessimism, and negativity have effected me these last 8 years. They tell me I should take advantage of the situation I am in; no rent, utilities, food to pay for. I understand that it is a great position to be in if I was on track to better my future but I feel they are holding me back. I feel when I am put in a tough situation and take their advice, it does not feel like the best decision I could have made. Independence is stripped from me while I’m living with them and I still feel like a child. They bombard me with what I should and shouldn’t do and leave almost no room for me to make my own decisions. I want to get away and do what’s right for myself but still see them as “god” as Peterson mentions. They are molding me to be what they wanted to be, which I believe is taking a toll on my identity, while I have a completely different vision. I love them but the way I am being treated by them is causing emotional distraught and pushing us further apart. I will continue to try and do what I feel is right. Maybe others can relate.
LOL… back in day before people became dependents of the corporations, a farming couple would have upwards to 10 children, thus having a reason to have these children, to work in the fields, thus being a business and the children paid their tax by working for their parents, thus an authoritarian household. Today couples have children to give to the corporation for the same reason, they just no longer need to produce 10 children. That’s why your parents try to teach you to cooperate in the manner that they do, because they know you will most likely be a dependent of the corporation for every accept of life, be it government or privet. Your training begins with the introduction of sin as in the sins of your father or original sin. Good luck continuing the cycle
I disagree I am a parent and my child will not have a better friend than myself. I will never tell them lies to gain financially from them I will never try to destroy them. I will never reach over them for personal gain. That is much different than random people of my age.I am supportive when my grown children go their own path.
One of the scariest thing I realized was that my dad is just a man. Just like me. Figuring out the exact same life as I am. He’s just farther ahead and has far more responsibility. As iv gotten older I think of the position he’s in and every year I grow more respectful of him and have a fear/respect of the weight of his position.
Those last couple minutes hit me hard. I followed my father with my career but I always wanted to develop a character of my own so I went a slightly different route. Now I deal with software and my father deals with virtual hardware I made a small change and now we are very far apart. Meaning if I get stuck somewhere I can’t ask for help from him because it’ll be out of reach for him. That gives me freedom and I am myself, but I am alone in my own struggles as well. I tell myself it’s better this way but I feel empty.
My dad died when I was 32, my mom when I was 34. I’m 72 now and ’til this day, when faced with a difficult decision, I ask myself, ‘what would mom and dad do? What would mom and dad think of me if I do A? Or if I do B. I do not think this is necessarily a bad thing. Because they were great people and I do this out of love and respect and the knowledge that doing what I reckon they might do is probably the right course.
One day i asked my mother what i should do. My mother said “you’re an adult, i can’t tell you what to do, you have to figure out what you want to do” In that moment i thought to myself “but y’all have been boasing me around my entire life, dads been telling me im stupid and judging my every action, a d now…..just….nothing???? I want a refund, this is bs ….”
I’ve went through this transformation over the past 5years….ever since i was young, my mom was like my oracle. she was like the all knowing. she always knew what to say what to do and i always thought she had it all figured out, but when i turned 21 i started noticing like wow….why would she do this like that,….that doesn’t make sense and it just kept on going on like that for the next 5years and now i realize that …my mom is human that makes lots of mistakes just like everyone else does. It’s just so crazy perusal it all unravel infront of you like this.
my parents neglected and abused me so i was independent early and moved out on my 18th bday. i have never lived with them again, make more money than they ever did, bigger home than they ever had, better family dynamic than they could provide, and thats that. not everyone can be a winner. i am winning my own personal race.
This is partly true. Yes we have to grow up and become independent but there is a danger in what he is saying, and that’s breaking the bonds of family. Liberalism have been doing that for decades. So I agree that there shouldn’t be a tyrant/slave relationship between parents and children, but the solution to that is not death of parents. The healthy solution is in a healthy relationship between parents and children, with secure attachment and proper boundaries. Each individual has to become independent gradually as they grow up and good parents would allow that independence patiently and respectfully. And a mature individual should understand the role their parents played in their Independence and even life giving to begin with. For example When we were little and just learning to ride a bike, we took a lot of pleasure in riding without falling and going so fast. Little did we know that it was our father who was holding the bike balanced and running right behind us. We tend to forget those actions as we grow up and lose respect and thankfulness towards our parents. We do need a healthy respect towards our parents opinion because they always have our best interest in mind and they are wise about our wellbeing. Again I am not talking about abusive parents, which this article seems to be talking about. Parents do not need to know about everything in the world, and have all the answers, but they do know about our wellbeing and they care more than anyone else about us and that’s a precious thing.
I think a point has been missed here. Your parents are usually people who really care about what happens to you. A group of random people the same age as your parents don’t. When you ask your father for advice you know he will give the best advice he can . He will try hard to help you solve problems..You know he will try to protect you and attempt to see to it that you prosper… No other human being will ever care about you like that . He has your back through thick and thin… Losing that is a terrible thing.
I love my parents ❤❤❤ i love stay with them even if sometimes we dont think same. But they want me happy we help eachother they accept what i do. We fight sometimes but i need just speak with them and its everythink is ok. Im so happy when i visit them one time in a week 😍😍😍 they are the most important person in my live 😊😊😊
I bought a house and now my mother lives with me and I think it’s a healthy shift of household power bc I can take care of her while she has to respect my boundaries and in the near future I plan to gift her the house but I think our relationship has grown stronger because she can observe how I have matured and how my decision making is years ahead of my age
When I was 17 or so my Dad and I had a pushing match. I told him he would never do that again. We probably had a relationship death moment that I could see in his eyes. I was in a do not fuck with me stage. Then I recognized none of my Dads skills or trade connections would assist me in the least. It is another form of death. I at the moment consider I have had to figure this out on my own since 20. When your avenues of assistance do not exist life is a crap sandwich. So you work and do and work and do. My Father from heard stories was assisted in various areas to set up his life by his family. When the guidance is low the struggle is high. I love and miss my Dad. His voice. My big guy. I also knew the path for me was not going to be assisted by my family. You do need to have some deaths. It sucks. It is important. The family requires a more journeyman-apprentice relationship between father and son. Caveat – how do you expect a parent to adjust to extreme fast change of this world to give wisdom to your offspring. Parents cannot. They are economically irrelevant when their kids hit 20. Change obliterates and creates choice. You can only listen. Quite the mess we have created.
I guarantee after just a few years of moving out everything about you will change. Style. Attitude. Work ethics. Health. Financial responsibility. Your goals and vision will change. Oftentimes multiple times a year. I broke things down into quarterly goals each year. Have a day planer or wall calendar. WRITE THINGS DOWN. You will forget things, its a fact of life when you move out. Find good people to look up to and have a soild friends group wherever you decide to set roots to. Have a plan, backup plan, and a plan when shit hits the fan. Stay focused on your vision. Have a timeline for what you want to achieve. I cant really speak on family’s who have opinions on how their children should grow to be, or require their children to become a certain profession as my family i have a freedom do do as i please. No guidelines to follow. Its me and what i choose. With family purely supporting those endeavors.
Was very happy to finally become independent from my abusive parents. Never looked back. I did try to patch things up but they just weren’t interested in working on our relationships. I do wish to go back to being a child but with different parents. The ones I got from the lottery of life turned out to be worse than trash.
Since my father passed away, in 2018, I have actually made a really radical change. I hadn’t given it much thought tbh, but I suddenly felt this immense pressure to help my mom and sister, and instead of procrastinating or being afraid, I just did what I needed to do. I started my own business, and started investing, and now I am in a far better place in several ways. I feel like my mom and sister are safe now, and I don’t think of myself nearly as much. I guess I felt that as long as he was around, he would solve everything, and when that went away, I finally became a man. It took me a long time, but I finally accept my mortality, and I just see the world differently. I have a friend who’s still the way I was before, and I’ve talked to him about this, and he’s completely in denial. One day, he will find out, but that could happen when he’s 50, and I can see the trouble he’s going to be in already.
27 and coming to terms with the fact my mother is far from perfect and my father is not as wise as he thinks, it’s definitely an eye opener and a feeling no other experience quite comes close to, it is painful in it’s ways, the only other feeling I can think of that even comes close is when you’re a child and they ask you to jump in the swimming pool before you can swim trust that the armbands will keep you from drowning
I find it odd for this to be considered a revelation. From my perspective, I and most of my friends very quickly realized our parents didn’t know better than anyone else during our late teens when we came to understand that a lot of what our parents try to force on us is outdated nonsense. That’s why we rebelled. And when I say rebelled I don’t necessarily mean playing up and making trouble, I mean mental rebellion against ideas and notions about life that to us was quite obviously hogwash. Isn’t that basically what teenage rebellion is? When you grow old enough as an individual to know that you should have sovereignty over your own views and life, that your parents don’t own you? That’s why I find this odd to be considered a revelation as it’s something I assumed most people should realize easily as a teen, not some bombshell that hits them as an adult that they have to struggle to come to terms with.