Parents often have positive parenting questions and don’t know who to ask. Some common ten questions include:
- Boost your child’s self-esteem by focusing on the behavior you want to change first, then move on to the next one.
- When family disagrees with your parenting style, remember that you know your family better than anyone else and are the expert in them.
- Respond to criticism when friends and family question your parenting practices by offering choices with limits.
- Learn the difference between four major parenting styles (free-range and conscious parenting) and learn how to be a more effective parent.
- Communicate boundaries early on, assert your authority, avoid sending mixed messages, acknowledge and validate, and use “and” statements whenever necessary.
- Deal with disapproving comments from parents by having a space where you feel normal and don’t need to explain yourself at all times.
- Be honest with your family about your parenting choices and don’t question your own.
- Don’t question your parenting choices and don’t judge yours. Sometimes, families may feel that your parenting choices are a reflection of them or that your approach is wrong.
- Be prepared to face hurt and anger when parents question your parenting style. Parents can provide validation and encouragement, but it’s important not to fall prey to hurt and anger.
📹 Hey Steve: Family Questions Her Parenting Choices
Her son wants to go to military school, so she signed him up. But her family is criticizing her choice – what should she do?
What is the 5 to 1 rule in parenting?
The 5:1 ratio is a principle that suggests stable relationships require at least five to one positive interactions during conflict. This principle is applicable to both parents and children, as children often push boundaries on friends, school, and curfews. To maintain happy and successful marriages, parents should implement positive parenting interactions with their children and be affectionate, as non-verbal communication can be as powerful as words. By implementing these strategies, parents can help their children maintain happy and successful relationships.
What is the most problematic parenting style?
Neglectful parenting often leads to children with low self-esteem, difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships, and a lack of understanding of safety and security. This lack of care and engagement can result in children struggling with self-esteem and understanding of safety and security. It is crucial for parents to love their children, care for them, and provide them with the right life lessons, regardless of their feelings of guilt or unpleasantness about their parenting style.
What is toxic parenting style?
A toxic parent is a term that refers to a parent who consistently causes guilt, fear, or obligation in their children, shaping their life through patterns of behavior. These parents are human beings, and they may make mistakes or unintentionally harm their children. However, their focus is on their own needs, often leading to ongoing or progressive abuse or neglect. They may not apologize or admit their actions are wrong, and their impulse is to do better and make things right.
Can a marriage survive different parenting styles?
In a marriage or divorce that is characterized by mutual respect and understanding, a diversity of parenting styles is generally accepted. Children will interact with a variety of adults and educators, necessitating the development of adaptability. The observation of parents’ disparate approaches facilitates the acquisition of the capacity to adapt, as evidenced by the example of a harmonious marriage or divorce.
How to respond to someone who gives unsolicited parenting advice?
The text posits that while acknowledging the care and support provided to the infant, it is recommended that the parent refrain from offering parenting advice and may seek the assistance of their partner if necessary.
Are people with divorced parents less likely to marry?
The probability of expecting marriage is lower among children of divorced, stepfamilies, or single parents, while those who have experienced divorce are more likely to expect it. Additionally, they exhibit more negative attitudes toward marriage and express a preference for smaller family sizes, which are somewhat mitigated by their parents’ remarriage.
What is the golden rule of parenting?
The Golden Rule, a moral guide from ancient times, has been taught by Greek, Jewish, Confucius, and Jesus. It is considered the ultimate rule of life. A variation of this rule for parents is “Treat your child as you would like to be treated if you were in the same position”. This principle can be applied to various methods of discipline, such as physical punishment, when a husband and wife are in the same position as their children. This approach can help parents maintain a healthy relationship and foster a positive parenting environment.
How do you deal with people questioning your parenting?
When someone criticizes your parenting, it’s crucial to remain open and listen. Instead of reacting in anger, ask for their advice to show that you value their input and are open to learning. When asking for advice, explain that you understand their concerns and would like to learn more about their perspective. This will make them feel heard and understood. Thank them for taking the time to talk with you.
By asking for their advice, you demonstrate your openness to learning and growth as a parent, and allow them to feel valued and respected. This will prevent the conversation from escalating and allow everyone to work together towards a solution.
What to do when 2 parents have different parenting styles?
Parents can create a sense of security for their children by setting reasonable rules and presenting a united front. Regular communication is crucial, and it’s important not to put the kids in the middle or let them divide and conquer. Disagreements should be kept behind closed doors, and parents should support and understand each other better. Taking a class together can also help. However, disagreements about expectations, discipline, and other aspects of child-rearing can leave children feeling confused and insecure.
To prevent this, parents should learn to parent as a team, despite their differences. This involves setting reasonable rules, presenting a united front, and privately discussing areas where disagreements aren’t agreed upon. This approach can help prevent confusion and behavior problems in children.
Why do people judge my parenting?
Parenting can be a complex and context-specific process, and it is important to understand the motivation behind the advice given by family members. While they may have a genuine desire to help and pass on their wisdom, they may not know your child as well as you do and may not understand your specific parenting challenges from the inside. This can lead to judgment and sidelining of grandparents, who may be trying to make themselves a central part of the family or make amends through their grandchildren.
It is also important to question whether the feeling of being judged is coming more from you than from them. Parenting while people are watching can be stressful, and we may respond differently in those circumstances. If we are already outside our comfort zone and unsure if we are doing the right thing, we may be quicker to detect negative attitudes from others and interpret their words and actions as criticisms. By understanding the deeper motivation behind their comments, it is possible to better support and understand the challenges of parenting.
What is the 7 7 7 rule for parenting?
In their marital union, they intend to embark on a vacation every seven months, whether a brief excursion or a more extended one. Furthermore, they oversee the maintenance of Google services, the tracking of outages, the protection against spam, fraud, and abuse, the measurement of audience engagement, and the use of cookies and data for the development of new services. Furthermore, they evaluate the efficacy of advertisements and present tailored content in accordance with user preferences.
📹 Parenting Teens- 3 Keys for Dealing with Your Teenager’s Disrespectful Behavior
Are you constantly battling with your teenager over simple tasks like having them clean their room, or do their homework, or get off …
I respect this woman for knowing her boundaries as a mother. She is so right! A woman can’t teach a boy how to be a man and a man can’t teach a girl to be a woman. That’s why both parents are needed. She’s doing an amazing job for him to be able to make such a mature decision at this stage in his life.
My dad died when I was 12. I never had anyone to support me and my dream as a child. Ever since I was 8 years old I wanted to work on and fly in helicopters. People made fun of me because of my dream. They all said I would never make it. After I graduated from high school, I joined the US Navy and for 23 years I worked on and flew in helicopters. For 15 of those years, I worked special warfare in direct support of the Navy SEALs. I loved every minute of it. I served in 3 different campaigns and am very proud of my service to my country. I to did not listen to the non dreamers! I LIVED MY DREAM! ! !
Never went to military school but participated in army cadets since I was 12, it not only teaches you how to be a leader but it helps you out a lot in your adult life, you can put it on college and job applications and it helps promote public speaking, charitable behaviour and much more. Don’t regret it for a second
I’m 50/50 for safety reasons. Children being abused and molested outside of parent’s immediate view can be an issue. And she needs to have a good loooonnnnggg talk with her son about differen’t types of abuse and being aware. And let him know that he can talk to her about ANYTHING and she will always have his back like she does now. Let him know that if he isn’t comfortable for any reason, she will place him at another school and won’t stop him on his journey. She does that and it might be ok!
Wow this article is actually really making me think. I believe that you’re son is gonna be one fine man so please make his dream come to reality and don’t let anyone destroy a 12 year olds mature dream. Because that might crush him and your family are not gonna blame themselves, most likely they are gonna blame you for being a “bad parent” please help him with the path he have chosen. And thank you
Thank you very much Steve, I’m living with a bunch of ppl just like her family, they always try crushing my dreams, i can’t even have confidence in myself anymore, they always insult me, say i don’t deserve anything in this life, this is clearly abuse since I’ve been living with it since im born, I’m only 18 now and all i remember and know is that i am hated in my family, that they don’t want me to succeed…etc i just know it, it’s obvious.
AMEN Steve!! I wanted to go to a performing arts school when I went to high school. Unfortunately, I grew up in an abusive household attending a cultish church. I was prohibited from going. I have major singing talent and I love performing etc. Right now I am working on launching my startup business off the ground at 31. Next up, I plan to put together my music portfolio. I have three beautiful and talented children as well and I would never be so selfish and ignorant!! The only thing I would worry about is the safety of what they wanted to do. At 12, I might have them hold off until a few years later.
I am on her side. He already know what he wants to do with his life and so she is being the best mother and supporting his decision. I am 34 years old and want to go where my friends are (it’s out of the country). I understand family not supporting your decisions. Mine don’t support any of mine and I am the good child so I applaud her and Steve is right.
My UPS driver and his wife (a Black couple) listened to their young teenage son and put him in an American school in China. They live in the Bay Area with their 2 younger daughters. Their son is now at UCLA studying high finance with the hope of one day of excelling on Wall Street. He will probably go to an Ivy League college on the East Coast for his Master’s degree, possibly his PhD . No doubt in my mind he will be very successful one day. Some kids just know.
Let your baby go to military school. Once he’s finished and the same people who said he shouldn’t go they will be shocked at the men he is after. Like Steve said don’t let none dreamers crush your son’s dream. I don’t know any 12 year old how flat out says he wants to be apart of the armed forces and he wants you to send him to military school. Your son is definitely an amazing young man.
While I think she should encourage the son, I think she should find out exactly what reasons and why the family members may oppose this. She doesn’t have to agree and accept what they say but there might just be an inherent reason. At the end of the day, Family is Family and will always be there. Family is the only one that will and can support you when you need help.
I’m 25 years old with a 3 year old I highly mad respect Steve Harvey 100% on his speech . If my daughter wants to become anything in her life that makes her happy and she’s successful and doing everything the right way then I totally 💯 got her back 100% I would support her even if she wants to work at 7/11 it’s her happiness that counts not mine she’s living her dream not mine daddy loves you Vanessa
Was not mentioned whether the 12 year old is already enrolled in ROTC at his school (or somewhere else) AND if he has already attended a military school during the summer months or other break? If he has, and he still loves ROTC (or equivalent) and enjoyed his experience at a summer military school, use that to demonstrate to family members your son is very sure about his wishes to attend a military school. Good luck to all. militaryschooler.com/summer-camp/
I would love to go to military school. Ive been wanting to go for 3 years. But i cant say anything because then it would turn into a big fight about how i dont appreciate anything or anyone. But i really just love the military. And i think it would give me a good head start in life to be a really great leader
Honey you are doing a wonderful job as a mother and he is going to get the male influence he needs to grow up into a fine young man between you and his choice of schools. I don’t understand any culture regardless of race that would advocate for keeping their own people down or anyone else for that matter. ALWAYS encourage others to explore and exceed their potential. Especially children!
I’m so happy Steve supported this mom supporting her son. Her family are not likely bad people. They are just old school and think you should not let your child dictate to you what he/she is gonna do. Well, their is some truth to that but when a child has a vision for themselves, a good parent listens.
why i lowkey want to just meet her son lol. this lil man is probably the most chilled, yet energetic, matured boy ever lol. At 12 i didnt have control nor was allowed to have control like that. Especially middle school, i went where my mom told me lmao. This will alsp help him with making choices in life as he get older. He been doing it since 12 so making choices wont be a problem for him.
I love this. The lady’s son wants to go to a military school on his own accord. It would be a different story if the mother was forcing her son to go to a military school and her son and her relatives are disagreeing with her decision. However, this mother’s son WANTS to go to military school. I’m honestly feeling kind of emotional over this boy and his mother because her son wants to do or be something. The boy has a DREAM. 👍🙏😭
I wish I’d had a parent who supported my dreams like this lady will do for her son. Forget other family, my parents forced me down a path I had no choice but to go down, and I’m nothing but a failure. I have them to thank, as I was a victim of circumstance from a very young age. As long as the kids are sure of the path they want to follow, and it’s not completely ridiculous, let them do it! Her son will turn out fine.
Yes girl, send him to school. If he is 12 and he already knows, then you’re doing something right. My son is 16 and since he was 7 has been saying he wants to be in the military. He’s in JROTC now and he’s gonna start out at boot camp above most of the other boots. You’re doing something great for that boy. Ignore the ones that ain’t about nothing and just trying to hold him back for their own selfish reasons. You go girl. You’re a good mama.
You tell it to them straight STEVE.!!! Military school will turn they boy into a MAN in no time. She said it herself NO FATHER ROLE MODEL IN HIS LIFE .. he will become strong & disciplined SHE IS MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION SUPPORTING HER SON. & one of the greatest things about all this is HE IS 12-YEARS OLD and already knows what he wants?? Wow!! At 12 He already has goals REALISTIC goals. What a good mother she is. I wish this family all the luck in the WORLD 🌍 Thats a son to be PROUD OF.!!!!
Single mother’s CAN raise a boy and turn him into an amazing member of society. PRESIDENT OBAMA, Tyler Perry, Lebron James, Ricky Williams, Kevin Wayne Durant, Ray Lewis, John Stewart, Eddie Murphy, Sean Combs, Samuel L Jackson, Jason Momoa, Al Pacino, Martin Lawrence, Kevin Hart, Mekhi Phifer, Shaquille O’Neal, Curtis Jackson, Alex Rodriguez, Eddie Griffin, Stevie Wonder, LL Cool J, Ice T are a few well known men who were either raised by single mothers AND/ OR extended family members (and even neighbours). ***”Black single women are more than scapegoats” (Huffington Post).*** “For years, single mothers have raised valuable and productive members of society: Tyler Perry, Halle Berry, Samuel L Jackson, and even President Obama. I have seen single black mothers in my life, sacrifice, gain trade certifications, get college degrees, and rise above the stigmatized view of single mothers in society.” ****”No matter the environment, a child needs to be nurtured, encouraged, guided and shown how to become a productive member of society. And single mothers have done this for decades.”*** **”This does not devalue the place of a positive male role model, but the negative perception often perpetuated in society does disservice to the countless single mothers making do, sacrificing, achieving, and producing promising future leaders.”*** m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_9619536 npr.org/2011/05/03/135840068/the-singular-woman-who-raised-barack-obama
Ohh she is far better being a mom of a boy than she thinks. Who supported his dream when he was six years old? She did! Who raised a son for 12 years, kept him off the streets and follow his dream? She did! Now she‘s standing there, being cautious about her decitions but still holds to the wishes of her son and against the pressure of her family. It‘s good to send him there but i have no doubt, she would be completely able to raise a good man. Right there‘s a role model for single moms!
That Mom raised her boy the right way. He will be a better person after military school and a career in the military. I could never get my son to even consider the military, for even 4-6 years. Get some college money set aside for it, instead of his student loans. I turned out okay from the military and JROTC in high school and that young man will to.
If I had to do my life over again, my children probably wouldn’t even meet my family. Matthew 10:36 says “And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.”. After being betrayed by my family, with my ex and having one of my children harmed because of them, I thank God that my daughter is on her way to med school, on a scholarship at an ivy league university. Sadly, my son is deceased because he was in the military and died in active duty, in the Marines. But, I’m proud of his choices. I too was a single mom and thought my family was my help (support system and encouragement), but, that proved to be wrong. If you’re a single parent (man or woman), and have parents or siblings that’s willing to assist you, without preventing you, or your children from making the best decisions possible for your life and offering unconstructive criticism, because of their own failures, limited views or faith… Great! But if not, stop seeking them for guidance and trust God with your household (children and yourself) and He will align you with everyone that needs to be in your life, for the good of those children and yourself. Even with family, make sure God (Jesus Christ) is your first course of action when seeking guidance about what’s best for you and your children. He’s knows far better than anyone what’s ahead of us, how much we can endure, what our capabilities are and our final outcome. It sounds like she’s a great mom and is making wise choices for her children. God has already spoken into the life of that child, for him to want to be a part of such a structured environment.
Let that boy go to military school if that’s what he wants. He can always change his mind later, but hopefully he won’t. You are absolutely correct. You are a woman. You can teach your girls how to be women, but you can’t teach a boy to be a man. Only a man who is willing and able to be a role model can do that. Don’t listen to the haters. They don’t need their noses in your son’s business anyway. He’s not their responsibility. He’s yours. So you get to decide what’s best for him. You go, Mama! Let him go to military school. You know that that’s what’s best for him right now, so just let the haters talk if they want to. It doesn’t mean that you have to listen.
This boy could leader in the military or in a corporate business one day and it’ll teach him discipline, respect etc. not that the mother hasn’t already done that. Mentally this boy is already kind of grown up and there will be some father figures there that will mold him into a true man like his real dad should have done. On another note I know she will miss him and she’ll miss out on some things in his life like probably puberty etc but she is making the right choice.
Gotta disagree with Steve on this…I dont think entrance into the military is a decision a child should be making, specifically a male child of color..i think the unfortunate truth is this 12 yr old boy has an incomplete, biased and non nuanced view of the military and our operations here and abroad, and while I appreciate his desire to stay in school I strongly suspect his “dreams” of being a NAVY seal are based upon euphenisms and false constructs, not an actual understanding of what such a thing entails. I say let the boy endure an entire semester of education wherein he is taught all of the dirty little truths of the military, about its past, present, and probably future delvings into the experimentation upon and domination of people whose skin color matches his and see if he retains the same dream afterwards.
I Dnt think his mom did anything wrong. But I would definitely educate my sons or daughters not to fight for such an ungrateful country. The USA is not a country for black ppl to fight for especially knowing the fight blacks had gone through and still going through today. The way how blacks has been treated over the years from day one, I would never allow my son’s or daughters to go give their lives or service for a country that has fought against them all their lives, period.
I think it is ridiculous people trying to meet a male in order for him to teach a child how to be “a man” or a guy to meet a female (like dating and all) so that they can teach the the girl to be a “woman” and what is mentioned here, a male or a female “can not do” this and that. Nobody has to teach their kid to be a male or a female, they will learn it themselves in time, just focus on teaching them how to be a GOOD human being!! Is that not enough???????
No mention of what the father thinks about this because he is not there. I think that is what her family’s main gripe is about the situation. If the father was there he would be able to lay out the pros and cons properly. Yes, you get the sense of accomplishment and you learn valuable skills but will they be appreciated once or more importantly IF you return? The VA doesn’t have the reputation of reflecting the sacrifices made when soldiers go to war. There is the high suicide rate which isn’t talked about much in these pro military circles, injuries, psychological trauma, the list goes on. It’s real hard for twelve year old to wrap his under developed frontal lobe around those very REAL consequences..At this time he WILL lose battle buddies/friends, you don’t just bounce back from that. What the reality is for him is that he realizes that he needs structure, which is commendable for someone his age, but what is tragic is the fact that he could have gotten that from an attentive father, but his is not present. I don’t no what happened to him and I’m not placing blame on the mother but from what I can see based on what was said and not said the father is absent. Based on the current leadership of this nation I would advise against him joining due to that alone. Js.
A mother can raise her son to be a man just like a single father can raise a woman. Get out of here with that “he’s 12 and I can’t raise him anymore because I am not a man” smh. It’s all in what you teach them and how you raise them. He sounds mature and mom should be proud but don’t use the excuse of not being of the opposite gender and therefore you can’t raise your child of the opposite gender. Others have been doing it for years.
Just remember this. Donald Trump went to military school at the age of 12 his father Fred sent them there knowing that this boy was going to amount to something someday Yes not only is he a billionaire but he is also the president of the United States in a true leader of the free world. Your son could follow in that exact pattern we don’t know where he’ll be 50 60 years from now only God knows that he knows the day when we breathe our last breath like it says and Daniel chapter 5
she shouldn’t have exposed her family that way on national tv .Sure she needed an advice and family can be harsh for being dismissed .i am quite sure some do help her keep her children .as much as i understand her she could talk To her family and tell them that she made the décision and expect them To support her because once the son is there it’s gonna be tough ….to death….