Raising children near their grandparents plays a crucial role in a healthy parenting strategy, as it benefits the grandparents’ health and overall well-being. Research shows that about 2% of U.S. children are raised by grandparents without a parent in the household, known as “grandfamilies”. A study published this month found that a grandparent living in the home had a positive effect on children’s BMI and provided support, role modeling, and encouragement.
For grandparents taking on the responsibility of raising babies and toddlers, it is essential to ensure the home is child-friendly, with devices such as stair gates and safety features. However, there are emotional, physical, social, financial, and legal impacts associated with grandparents raising their grandchildren. Specifically, grandparents often raise their grandchildren due to a combination of parental substance abuse, abuse and neglect, unemployment, incarceration, HIV/AIDS, and mental health issues.
Raising children without grandparents has five benefits: no expectations of grandparents, which means they never feel let down. Raising children near their grandparents enriches not only their childhoods but also their lives as parents. Comprehensive scientific evidence supports that raising children near their grandparents plays a beneficial role in a healthy parenting strategy.
Children who are close to their grandparents have fewer emotional and behavioral problems and are better able to cope with traumatic life events. Living close and visiting is easier for families, with shorter, more frequent visits being less stressful for introverted individuals.
📹 How to deal with intrusive grandparents
Parenting expert Nanny Robina explains how to set ground rules and boundaries when your in-laws are helping to raise your …
Is it good for kids to stay with grandparents?
A close relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is beneficial for both parties’ health and well-being. Grandparents provide acceptance, patience, love, stability, wisdom, fun, and support to their grandchildren, which in turn positively affects a child’s well-being. Studies have shown that children who grow up with greater emotional closeness to their grandparents are less likely to be depressed as adults. For grandparents, a close relationship can boost brain function, protect against depression, and increase their lifespan.
Parents can help cultivate a close relationship between their children and grandparents by encouraging frequent contact. Visiting their grandchildren’s homes, even if physically distant, can fill the child with anticipation and excitement. Even if visits are infrequent, it helps them view the time spent together as special. In today’s world, many families may not live in close proximity to each other, but parents can still help build a close relationship between their children and grandparents.
What percentage of grandparents live near their grandchildren?
A report published by the U. S. Census Bureau indicates that approximately 6. 7 million adults aged 30 and over, or 3. In 2021, approximately three percent of adults in the United States resided with their grandchildren.
How does being raised by grandparents affect a child?
Grandparents play a crucial role in raising their grandchildren, providing them with stability, safety, and cultural identity. They often serve as surrogate parents due to family crises and sociopolitical issues. Grandparents are responsible for their grandchildren’s care, and some have legal relationships with them. The reasons for raising grandchildren often stem from parental difficulties, such as substance abuse, neglect, unemployment, incarceration, HIV/AIDS, mental or physical illness, teenage pregnancy, child disability, divorce, military deployment, abandonment, and death. Family therapists are trained to understand the complex feelings and relationships experienced by grandparents and their grandchildren.
What is unhealthy grandparents’ behavior?
Emotional abuse from grandparents can manifest in manipulation, guilt-tripping, and belittling, impacting a child’s emotional health. Parents should recognize and address these toxic behaviors to prevent emotional distress and foster a healthier child-grandparent relationship. Additionally, boundary violations by grandparents, such as disregarding parenting decisions, undermining parental authority, and causing family discord, are another sign of toxic relationships. Establishing clear boundaries with toxic grandparents is crucial to protect a child from damaging behaviors or communication issues.
Is it a good idea to move near grandchildren?
Grandparents’ involvement in their grandchildren’s care can vary, from full-time care to occasional babysitting. It’s important to be honest with yourself and your adult child before making a move, as some enjoy every moment with their grandchildren, while others prefer less hands-on availability. Adult children should avoid overtaxing their parents, as they’ve already raised a family. Moving near grandchildren can be a joy for everyone, but expectations and boundaries should be established well in advance.
Professionals today often move from job to job, resulting in frequent, sometimes unexpected moves to different locations. For example, Brenda, a widow, followed her younger daughter and grandchildren to North Carolina when her son-in-law was transferred from New Orleans. Less than a year later, her son-in-law was transferred to Dubai, which inspired Brenda to move to Orlando, where her older daughter and grandchildren lived. After a year, her older daughter’s husband was transferred to Dallas, leaving Brenda alone in a strange city for a second time.
Is it good for kids to grow up with grandparents?
Grandparents play a crucial role in the lives of their children, as they provide love, attention, and unconditional support that helps them grow and develop healthy brains. This love not only impacts the child’s future but also contributes to healthier, happier, and potentially longer lives for grandparents. Research shows that a close, involved relationship with grandparents leads to healthier, happier, and possibly even longer lives. The quality time spent with a loving parent makes children feel confident and content, and the memories they create will live forever.
Is it important for grandparents and grandchildren to be close?
A close relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is beneficial for both parties’ health and well-being. Grandparents provide acceptance, patience, love, stability, wisdom, fun, and support to their grandchildren, which in turn positively affects a child’s well-being. Studies have shown that children who grow up with greater emotional closeness to their grandparents are less likely to be depressed as adults. For grandparents, a close relationship can boost brain function, protect against depression, and increase their lifespan.
Parents can help cultivate a close relationship between their children and grandparents by encouraging frequent contact. Visiting their grandchildren’s homes, even if physically distant, can fill the child with anticipation and excitement. Even if visits are infrequent, it helps them view the time spent together as special. In today’s world, many families may not live in close proximity to each other, but parents can still help build a close relationship between their children and grandparents.
What are the boundaries of toxic grandparents?
Establishing boundaries with grandparents can be a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship. These boundaries can range from declining certain topics to letting them know they cannot continue to babysit if they break house rules. Some boundaries can be implemented without grandparents’ knowledge, such as allowing voicemail, scheduling visits less frequently, or limiting visit length. Other boundaries may require explicit communication. It is essential to maintain control and power over the boundaries, rather than relying on occasional enforcement.
What are the disadvantages of children being raised by their grandparents?
Being a caretaker parent to one’s grandchildren can be rewarding but also brings significant challenges. It can lead to increased physical, emotional, and economic vulnerability, resentment, stress, and role ambiguity. Grandparents often feel that their “job” as a parent is over, leading to financial problems, mental and physical health concerns, social isolation issues, and emotional and behavioral problems for their children. Research on custodial grand parenting has identified several stressful aspects of this role.
Resources that grand-parent-headed households need include social policy support. Recognizing and legitimizing grandparent-headed households as true families is essential to alleviate stress and anxiety on physical, emotional, mental, and financial levels. Families headed by grandparents have the opportunity to examine policies across child welfare, aging, housing, healthcare, and income maintenance. Reexamining grandparents headed households and their eligibility for services to assist in providing for their grandchildren warrants serious attention.
Communities should step up to offer support and access to resources for these families, such as financial assistance, counseling, and support groups. Support from families, friends, and some service agencies can be a source of happiness for grandmothers raising their grandchildren and are often associated with feelings of love and closeness.
In conclusion, the challenges faced by grandparents in raising their grandchildren include increased vulnerability, resentment, stress, financial problems, mental and physical health concerns, social isolation, and emotional and behavioral problems.
What are the long term effects of grandparents raising grandchildren?
Children raised by grandparents face challenges, such as less eligibility for social services and emotional and behavioral issues. However, grandfamilies also have strengths, such as the warmth and appreciation they have for each other. Since 2001, there has been a significant increase in children living in three-generational homes, with black, Hispanic, and Asian children being more likely to live in these homes compared to white children. These children are also more likely to live with a single parent. Overall, the importance of grandparents and grandchildren in each other’s lives is emphasized.
Are children with grandparents happier?
A study indicates that children raised with close bonds with their grandparents exhibit greater emotional security and happiness, as well as a reduced risk of developing depression.
📹 Consequences of Over Protected Children- Jordan Peterson
About Jordan Peterson: Jordan Bernt Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University …
Absolutely agree! Setting boundaries and ground rules are so very important even if the grandparents don’t like it they need to respect your decisions. it makes sense as you carried that baby for 9 months then gave birth and invested all that time with your body chasing and preparing for motherhood etc its your baby do as you please. But the problem is if they don’t listen and disregard your boundaries and want to tell you what to do, how,when,where and there way is better than yours then its a problem you need to remove yourself from until they respect you and your family.I can’t stand intrusive people let alone family who are overbearing and controlling,its a very quick way to loose seeing me and my family as i have no problem cutting ties until respect and trust is formed knowing my child will be safe and our values morals and principles in raising that child is practiced in a way it won’t confuse them.
My husband and I have set boundaries upon boundaries. They’re supposed to be our support network but it feels more like a constant worry. I told my in laws no sugar or salt, they ignored me and he became unwell. They want him only when it suits them and not when we need the support. Pretending like my baby is theirs, no pictures of me in the house just of my son and their son, themselves etc. Wedding photos uploaded to Facebook but only ones that didn’t contain me, the bride. Bitching about me to my husband behind my back or over the phone to my husband. Midwife told us to have six weeks alone to establish breastfeeding and they said bullshit, despite them never breastfeeding their baby… Getting to a point now tbh 😂
My mother interfered so much in our parenting and disciplining in our kids upbringing. Omg, it created so much havoc! absolutely fostering their disregard of us & our rules. She talked bad of me behind my back – UNFORGIVABLE- saying “She’s never happy”, “she’s too harsh” – because she hated my setting boundaries with HER! She’s an insecure person who needs to be a fairy grandmother sort, always gushing over them. My kids are grown now, & the one that was the most rebellious that she ALways sided with, is in prison…having never learned that actions have consequences. When it happened I blamed him but also her because she was STILL taking up for him. She & I are estranged, she’s resorted to emotional manipulation in her pouting, poor me kind of way. Silent treatment, etc. Good riddance!
I’m sure I’m not the only person who has had to move in with grandma for a little while. My daughter and I lived with her for a year and then moved into an apartment above her for another. Then she moved with us to a new house and finally I kicked her out about six months later and she now loves across the street for 1.5 years. I really had to put my foot down and change my door locks and remind her multiple times not to come into my house. She took it personally and plays the “nobody needs me” thing all the time. Well sorry grandma, all we do is argue, you undermine my parenting and you’ve walked into my house as quiet as possible just to disturb me while having sex!!!!! Boundaries are a must !!!!!!
Here is what happened to me. My parents who hated me from birth and my childless stepsister plotted and schemed to break the bond and close relationship I had with my daughter, they started doing this when my daughter was about 15 years old now my daughter is almost 30 and I have lost all contact with her. My stepsister and my daughter share and do all the things a loving mother dose with her daughter and I have to go through my parents to ask if my daughter is alright. All communication has ceased between my only daughter and me and it’s as if she has died. My family treat me horribly and now my mother said I am out of her will. 😢I did nothing wrong. The jealousy that my mother and stepsister have for me is evil. Many times I have thought about taking my life because of this .
I’m having this problem😩my grandparents are so intrusive they don’t let me go out…like they are my parents…. i’m 18 YEARS OLD NOW and i sweeear to god i have never ever went to a friend’s birthday becauuuse they don’t let me…even nooow at this age!! my mom is in another country…and my grandparents and my mom don’t get along….my g.parents never talk to me like there is no complicity or TRUST!
There are some things that can’t be a happy medium. My parents think I’m just being mean because I have boundaries and rules me and my husband have in place for our child safety in mind. They got to understand this isn’t 1990’s anymore and Doctors and specialists have changed their minds when it comes to babies.
my current problem is this my husbands grandmother has no repect for or my husband at all she treats us like crap we tell her to stop trying to tell us what to do when it comes to raising our 3 kids she pulls the its my house my rules and these are my grandkids nonsense what shouold i do about this crap we have no where to go she had us kicked out last summer and then we came back because she had no one to take care of her house while she was out of town i told her no my husband told her ok shortly after then she treeated us like crap and told us to leave we currently have no where to go and our kids are 1and 2 and 4 years old how am i suppose to be nice to some one who acts like this and is the reason why 20 years of my life is in the trash ?