Being single offers a unique opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. It is crucial to shift your mindset and embrace this time as an opportunity for self-improvement. Being single allows you to hold yourself accountable, support yourself, and make your own decisions and goals. It also allows you to explore your interests and build a fulfilling life for yourself.
To be happy being single, it is essential to define your current situation, spend time daydreaming, set intentions, create SMART goals, choose tools/resources, and break down barriers. Some of the best self-development ideas include developing a happy disposition, learning about your likes and dislikes, communicating expectations, and taking care of yourself.
Being single allows you to take the time to learn to love yourself and work on aspects of your life that you want to improve. To thrive as a single, never stop learning and growing. Learn about yourself, your fellow humans, and volunteer work for a cause you care about.
Being single is a resourceful time to set new goals and achieve things you probably wouldn’t have time to achieve in a relationship. Use your time as a single person to focus on personal growth, pursue your passions, and set and achieve your goals.
Stephanie May Wilson shares the top three habits every single woman should cultivate to become her best self while being single: being selfish, developing personal hobbies, working on friendships, and focusing on what you want to change. To thrive when you’re single, shift your mindset about what being single means to you and don’t let other people’s comments get you down.
📹 Almost 30 and single
Let BetterHelp connect you to a therapist who can support you – all from the comfort of your own home.
How to work on yourself while being single?
The author suggests several ways to build confidence and comfort with being single, including making lists of strengths and achievements, practicing self-care, finding a new hobby, remembering that you don’t need to be in a relationship to feel connected, and allowing friends and family to help you feel connected. When you’re rolling solo, it can seem like the world is in love with you, but it can be annoying when people feel it’s their duty to push you out of the “single” box and into the “taken” box. It can be even tougher if you really want to meet someone but haven’t connected with the right one yet.
The author suggests that now is a good time to put things in perspective, take care of yourself, and determine what you truly want out of a relationship if that’s what you truly desire.
How to stop feeling lonely when single?
Loneliness is a natural human desire for connection and companionship, and without relationships, it can be challenging to adapt to living alone. To overcome loneliness while being single, there are ten ways to do so:
Get to know yourself better: By getting to know yourself on a deeper level, you can improve your self-esteem and well-being. Journaling can provide insight into your emotions, likes, and dislikes, which can be beneficial for overall well-being.
Nurture your friendships: Connecting with others who are also single can provide socialization without the complexities of dating. Surrounding yourself with people who are also single can be comforting, and third-wheeling with a couple can make you hyper-aware of being single. Being lonely doesn’t feel as bad when a friend is experiencing the same thing.
In summary, overcoming loneliness while being single involves getting to know yourself better, nurturing your friendships, participating in hobbies, getting involved in community, enjoying your freedom, planning and organizing, talking to strangers, and understanding your feelings. By following these strategies, you can live your fullest life and overcome loneliness.
Is it okay to be single and work on yourself?
The author emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-discovery in personal growth. They suggest that time spent alone can be a healing experience, allowing individuals to let go of past hurts and explore new experiences. This can help individuals identify their true selves and find the right match for them. Repetition compulsion, a psychological phenomenon, can also lead to impulsive relationships with people who are not suitable for us. Therefore, it is crucial to prioritize self-care and self-discovery to avoid impulsive relationships and maintain a healthy self-image.
Why am I happier when single?
Singles tend to have stronger social ties, which are considered the foundation of happiness. They are more likely to support and visit their parents and siblings, have more friends, and socialize with friends. While not all single people live alone, those who do tend to be actively involved in their cities and neighborhoods. Studies have shown that those who live with others have the highest levels of loneliness. In old age, married seniors and those who never married are the least lonely groups.
Both groups are less lonely than those who were widowed, divorced, or separated. Long-term singles, in particular, develop strong social ties, self-sufficiency, and a sense of purpose over their lifetime.
How to find purpose in life when single?
Setting personal goals is crucial for personal growth and development. These goals can range from pursuing a hobby to starting a business. Building meaningful connections, both romantically and platonically, is essential for personal growth. Nurture existing friendships and make new ones with like-minded individuals. Engage in activities or join communities where you share interests and values. Practice self-reflection to identify unhealthy patterns in past relationships and make positive changes. This will help create healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
How can I be more OK with being single?
To overcome feelings of frustration and loneliness in being single, it is important to focus on personal goals, such as professional life, hobbies, family, and health. Being single can be freeing and empowering, but it can also be lonely and frustrating. To help feel better about being single, change your perspective and focus on your goals. This is not only important for your mental state but also for your health, as feelings of loneliness can have a significant impact on your overall well-being. By working on personal goals and changing your perspective, you can find ways to feel better about your single status and improve your overall well-being.
How do singles survive?
To thrive as a single person, it’s essential to understand oneself, pursue unique hobbies, and rely on a supportive system. Self-care, avoiding couple-themed media, and better sleep are also beneficial aspects of being single. Benefits include lower health risks, freedom to spend time however you want, and better compatibility with potential partners. Developing a strong sense of self is crucial for happiness and fulfillment, regardless of relationship status.
Psychotherapist Kelli Miller emphasizes the importance of loving oneself first to prepare for healthy relationships. Starting a journal can help explore thoughts, emotions, and desires, ultimately leading to a better understanding of oneself and life goals.
Is it smart to stay single?
The state of being single offers a number of advantages, including increased self-awareness, freedom, and focus. To optimize these advantages, it is crucial to allocate time in constructive ways, such as fostering relationships, pursuing objectives, and engaging in recreational pursuits. This will better prepare you to be a suitable partner when entering a relationship.
How can I be happy even if I am single?
To find happiness while alone, avoid comparing yourself to others, step back from social media, take a phone break, let your mind wander, go on a date, get physical, spend time with nature, and embrace the perks of being alone. Being alone is not about being antisocial, friendless, or loveless, but rather content with solitude. On the other hand, being alone can lead to feelings of emptyness and disconnectedness, or it can leave you sad and longing for company. To find happiness while alone, it’s essential to understand the difference between being alone and being lonely.
How can I stay happy while single?
To find happiness while alone, it’s important to adapt your lifestyle and personality to suit your needs. Avoid comparing yourself to others, take breaks from social media, and engage in physical activities. Spend time with nature, take a date, and enjoy the perks of being alone. It’s crucial to distinguish between being alone and loneliness. Being alone is content with solitude, while loneliness is feeling empty and disconnected.
Some people find happiness in solitude, while others may feel sad and longing for company. It’s essential to understand the difference between the two concepts and find ways to find happiness while alone.
What are the psychological effects of being single too long?
Being single for a long time can have positive mental health outcomes, such as increased self-discovery and personal growth. However, it can also lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and social exclusion, potentially causing depression and anxiety. Factors like personality, social support, life circumstances, and individual resilience can also impact the mental health effects of being single.
Resilient individuals with a strong social support system may experience fewer adverse effects. To maintain mental health while single, individuals can foster strong social connections, engage in fulfilling activities, practice self-care, and seek support when needed.
📹 The RIGHT Way to Do Work-Life Balance| Simon Sinek
We need to start trusting people to set their own boundaries when it comes to work and personal life. The two shouldn’t be in …
As I watch this enthralling article, it resurrects the painful memories of my recent breakup—a relationship of three years that ended just two months ago. The Man who meant everything to me decided to leave, plunging me into a vortex of heartache. Despite my desperate attempts to reconcile, I find myself trapped in a cycle of frustration and longing, unable to envision a life without him . Despite my efforts to move forward, I find solace in expressing my lingering affection for him here .
Love the honesty. Almost 33. Never had a relationship because of trauma that I haven’t addressed until this year, when I started EMDR therapy. I feel like I wasted my youth. I travelled alone in August and I had never felt so lost and lonely. All I wanted was a family, but I don’t know if I can allow myself to keep hoping for that.
When I start to feel that sadness about being single, I remind myself that I’m not longing for a relationship, i’m longing for the love of my life. Lots of people are in relationships but are not experiencing the great love that I aspire to. So many of my friends have boyfriends and I wouldn’t switch places with any of them. I don’t want to be with any random guy, I want something special. I see women washing shit stained underwear of grown men who openly disrespect them. I see girls staying with cheaters. I see women putting all their passions and dreams aside to play mother and therapist to a man who doesn’t buy them flowers. If I wanted any relationship, I could find it tomorrow. But I’m holding my life to a high standard. I only want a relationship if it elevates my life, not one that I have sacrifice myself for. (I know men are gonna call me a goldigging wh*ore and all that so let me clarify that I’m not talking about money and it doesn’t impact your life if I have high standards so please leave me be)
30M here. Every single point in this article resonates with what I think, from the first second to the last. It’s amazing how you covered everything. I also feel like I just wasn’t lucky enough. Never felt casual relationships. Read a lot and learned a lot throughout my life. Did a lot both personally and professionally in my teens and 20s. Still going at it. Today, people do tend to imply that there’s a fault in me. But I never bother because I know how content I’ve always been. I’ve always been perfectly lonely while also acknowledging the value of a good relationship. I’ve seen people grow and become better while being in a healthy relationship which they started when they were nothing. However, now as I’m maturing, it’s getting harder to accept people. Sometimes, I do wish that I’d found someone sooner because it’s easier to grow together that way. But, I’m just living my life right now hoping I’ll one day be lucky enough! A little optimistic but still content. Not going to be with someone unless it elevates what I’ve always had. Divorces happen after marriages. Anyway, this is my first article here. Thanks for sharing.
I’m a guy and had my first relationship last year at 26 years of age. Prior to that, I was longing for a romantic relationship for years but at the same time felt like I wasn’t ready for one. It got so lonely at times and I envied my peers who were in relationships, but when I finally started dating someone, I realized that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. I dated my ex for about 6 months. I ended the relationship earlier this year to protect my mental health and wellbeing which I had felt were being compromised by the relationship. I’m 27 now and my ex is 30. I’ve been single for 8 months now and not once during my single period have I longed for another relationship. Never have I thought I’d say this but I actually don’t want to date anyone anytime soon. I’ve even made a decision that I’m going to abstain from sex until marriage. The next time I date, I want it to be with someone that I will actually spend the rest of my life with. If not, I’m happy to stay single until that happens.
I envy people that just randomly bump into the love of their lives somewhere. A lot of my friends met their partners that way. They just fell into their lap on a random Tuesday through a coincidence. And funnily enough, those people are the ones giving dating advice even though they had to do absolutely nothing to meet their partner because it was just a right place at the right time type of thing. Some people go on 71 dates and never find anyone, and others just get into a conversation with someone randomly and that’s it for them. I always wonder if I will ever be that lucky. Probably not but I wish I was.
When you find your person, you get to enjoy most of the benefits you listed of being alone.. you have peace of mind, you get to choose your lunch/snack, but since your partner is probably getting something different, you also get the chance to try something new if you want to (most of the times you’ll end up liking his choice more than yours and switching plates!), you also get to be naked if you feel like it, without starting anything.. it’s hard to find your person. Both of you need to be in the right moment, be ready for a relationship and most importantly you need to care for each other and the relationship, you work hard on it,when the relationship is your priority (without neglecting yourself) you make anything work.. being single is better than being with anyone, but be with that one person is so much better than being alone.. wish you Lana and everyone who wishes for it, to find your person ✨
In my opinion, the idea of self improving means doing things by ourselves, for ourselves just becoz that makes us feel happy just the way we are, rather than doing things e.g. traveling, reading and doing self care things to make us more “qualified” for “love” (the romantic love got defined by the society or someone else). Thanks for the article!
That Relationship pyramid is great and very helpful. I am 25, never been ever in a relationship yet 😅. Just wanna build my dream life and chill 🎉. Working hard to achieve miestones and ultimately freedom. But I definitely feel that need of some deeper connection 😊, its increasing day by day actually 😂. Wish me luck guys…✨
Oh Lana this is the best time that you posted this, I am 19 and never had a boyfriend or even a love interest and social media and my atmosphere made me believe that you need to have a partner to be happy as all of my friends have had several relationships. I’ve felt lonely and have craved someone for the longest time but now when I think of it I have realised that maybe all I need rn is me (: and I do deserve love but self love is what I need the most ❤ so all I’m focusing is to become a better version of myself so that my partner can have a better partner ❤
Damn this is relatable. I’m 25, soon moving to a whole new country and culture, all alone – feels like an awesome adventure, but at the same time feeling of possible long-term loneliness until I integrate into the culture worries me a bit. But hey, I always like to say that it’s way better to go through life all alone than with a wrong person. One must first become his/her own best friend/partner before being able to connect deeply with others. Great article, Lana!
I spend all my teenage years being with someone. I have been in relationships for 4,5 years and I am only 22 years old. It stroke me that I don’t want to spend my youth depending on someone else, not knowing myself. I want to experience love within myself not from someone else. That’s what being single mean for me – experiencing different kind of love:)
This is shitty advice and an excuse. All of this is fine when you are 30 when you approach 40, and you find out there is no one to date and from now on it will only get worse in any aspect of your life, then you see things in a different light. What you’re basically saying is, that you should either have a porsche/ferrari or not have a car at all, because you won’t get the full experience. I would rather drive a Volkswagen all my life, than hope some day I will drive a Ferrari. Edit: I corrected a bit.
It’s harder to find love in some countries than others. Some countries I feel are not very dating friends and it’s harder to socialize and find people of your like! I felt that in the Netherlands. In south asian countries, it is slightly easier. and people as friends and family hang out together alot, so in case youre single. You still wont find life very lonely.
Did all that and went above and beyond. Went on over 300 dates in 4 years, some good some bad some meh but nothing stuck. In that time I stumbled upon buddhism after a heroic dose of shrooms where I got the ultimate answer and started meditating very seriously, going on retreat and all. Things happened, I changed, it got weird really fast. But after all the weirdness, on the other side its now all trauma release and shadow work. Realised that its not so much about being loved but being loving, thanks to Lester Levenson. Everyone is a mirror of yourself, reflecting back to you what you already are embodying. You are the love that you seek 🙂 (yeah it sounds cliche and it IS a long road to get to where you can actually see and understand that) May all beings who read this be happy and hopefully gain something from this, peace!
In the west at least, no one wants to address the elephants in the room. Our economy and government don’t really support healthy family formation or relationships and the culture is leaning towards more towards praising single hood as well. The second is we have more choices now and some can afford to be picky. The third is we kind of stopped caring about how to be attractive to the opposite sex.
Romantic loneliness? Far from it. Sometimes it’s good to break from social conditioning. Being single has many plusses. Being a busy teacher, I’m in regular contact with students and given that I don’t really have ‘those’ feelings, I am free to exercise and explore etc. We are all different but relying on ‘one’ person to somehow enhance your life is to deny God’s constant help.
Imagine you wake up and have no one to say gm.Imagine you have a terrible day and no one close to express your feelings of loneliness or anger.Imagine you are so lost in your own fears and thoughts and have no one to guide you and tell you its going to be alright.Imagine its new year eve and you have no one to hug or kiss romantically.the list goes on.Being single is EQUALLY bad as being in a bad relationship.It is not better.All this “learn how to be single” etc is all gaslighting by society.Listen to what your body and mind craves.You know yourself better than the rest of the world.
I feel like I had the opposite experience. I was shy, skeptical and more analytical about relationships when I was younger. When around 25 or so I decided to try having people couch surfing at my place. We’d go out, try different stuff and I’d show them around Sweden a bit. One French lady taught me that very year to just appreciate what you have with people — social fulfillment can come in so many shapes and forms, something I feel like many forget. Going with the flow and enjoying the good while accepting the bad makes life so much better! <3
At the end of the day; We are the common denominator in all our relationships, and each one of us wants to find the reason we don’t develop relationships like others, but maybe, it’s not something to be found, but rather acknowledged, or maybe you’ll find love without ever knowing why you were single for so long in the first place, so keep doing new things, and doing the same things in different ways, you may find the solution without ever finding the answer, in the meantime, enjoy yourself, happiness is attractive. May love find its way into your life.
I’m a man, 55 and have been married for 31+ years. Two adult children, 28 (young man) and 34 (young lady). I don’t give my children relationship advice. They haven’t asked. Nevertheless, I am happy they are busy developing themselves. That they are focused on doing things with meaning and purpose. Focused on making a positive impact on the lives of others. Happiness isn’t found in being “coupled up.” It’s found in serving others first. In being selfless. It’s in having faith in the “truth, the way and the life.”
Man I resonate with your article heavily! It almost feels like I’m a contrarian with my views on living my best life but also feeling lonely at the same time. The advice out their is if you aren’t happy with being alone than you still need to work on being happy alone. But you can still live your best life and also feel sad that you are lonely.
Almost 30 too. My only relationship lasted 6 years with my best friend. Then we broke up, got obsessed with another girl who didn’t feel the same way about me. Been single for almost 7 years now. I’m tired of people saying “Better to be alone than in bad company” like wth why do you assume it WILL be bad? it’s always better to have someone in a healthy, fulfilling relationship than to be single (unless you got some serious issues to work on). I’m tired of pretending it’s not. But yeah, learning to be content with being single is necessary. It’s not that bad. But it is bittersweet, even if you have a fulfilling life as a single person. When you taste what a good relationship is, you know nothing will top that.
The section where you mention the things you like about being single, like no need to into account someone’s diet or having your apartment exactly how you want it – I took it as positive sides of being single as opposed to all the compromises you need to make while being with someone. As a freshly married person, I’ll tell you that I see these little compromises you do for another person are things you start enjoying yourself because you see how much it matters to your significant other. You might not like the new red coffee machine they really want to get for your kitchen but seeing them enjoy that object makes you happy and red, somehow, magically, becomes less of an eyesore for you. I love being by myself but I never miss being single. A lot of things bother me about living and being together but it’s so rewarding to be able to see those issues solved that I’d never change them for simpler life.
I really appreciate your viewpoints on the topic you discussed. The points discussed are deep and reflective in nature. Everyone can have their takeaways from this article even if you are not single. Thanks Lana for being our angel friend ! You reading book at 7:30 minute mark really touched my soul deeply.
Dating is a murky period of trial and error—mostly error—and painful realizations about who you are and what’s truly good for you. Even the most well-intentioned and healthy partners won’t be right for you. I gained the most clarity and awareness about dating when I stopped dating. Focus on self development (stop BS yourself )and by the time someone comes along, you’ll be ready to discern what’s good for you.
Turning 21 next month and I’ve never been in a relationship. When I was younger, I used to think I would meet the perfect person in university just like my parents did. Now I’m in my final year and I’m somewhat friends with a guy who seems so perfect, though I doubt I’m the perfect one for him. I guess I have some unresolved trauma about feeling like I’m not worthy of love because of my health issues which affect my appearance. I know surgery is an option, but it’ll be extremely expensive, and is it too much to want to be loved as I am, without any artificial improvements to the way I look? Not to mention that I have other insecurities, some of which can’t really be fixed. Anyway, that’s enough trauma dumping. I keep telling myself that if I live a life where I’m surrounded by friends, with a successful career and the freedom to travel the world, being single forever wouldn’t be so bad. Still, the ‘romantic singleness’ is starting to take its toll. Thanks for this relatable article, Lana. Just subscribed!
I’m 19 and I never head a relationship. I had people interested in me, but sometimes that people were people I didn’t fell nothing back or I could be vulnerable enough to be with someone. I know I have time, my life is just starting, but sometimes I feel like I have to know myself better to reciprocate with other people.
I’m older and still am without a +1 other than Christ. I have travelled alone also and I love it because there is no-one hindering peace of mind. I’ve never been on dating apps, and refuse to. Because You can meet people in everyday life that are genuine and not fake. Be full of discernment and You won’t regret it. Let Christ lead the way 🙌🕊️🏆🥇☝️
I don’t speak often when I do people pay attention and create lots of narratives about me so most relationships where performances to meet people expectations now at 26 still the same introverted (infj) who observes people’s reaction to me being just me, I may have a mysterious exterior but I’m not a mystery so relationships become difficult when people can’t see you for what you are, a homo sapien from italyyy😂
Lana remember you’re beautiful living exotic stardust there’s only one you and me in this current reality.Lana think this as your second attempt at 15.Lana I thank you for you Lana❤❤❤Lana I like your logic,reasoning and time.Lana be safe and smart you’re loved by me and from above.Lana you’re awesome.Jerome❤❤❤
To me being single is the 2nd best option. The 1st best option is to be in a healthy happy relationship, 2nd best is to be single and at peace. The worse however is being in a toxic relationship that makes you feel unloved and afraid to leave because you’re afraid to be alone. So it really ain’t as bad as you think. Just don’t lose hope, you will meet the one when the time is right. The desire to have someone is in your heart for a reason.
Wow actually REALLY appreciate the point you made in the first four minutes (where Im currently at in the vid) constantly getting gaslight by people whove gotten lucky. Not some self improvement journey and how the single people are more likely the ones into self development, probably due to feeling empty and flawed. All right place right time based
this article came in the right time, I was feeling all those emotions and loneliness so really thank you for helping, your website and writing always felt like home. humans and relationships are a bizarre thing, so complex yet still so mesmerizing. Also I wanted to tell how cozy and lovely this style of editing and filming is, the shots of you writing and you sitting down with us at the end of the article, felt very personal and sweet, really missed your articles! sending lots of love to Fred 😉
everything depends on first 15 years of your life ? a relationship with the wrong person becomes a absolute nightmare 😮and constant depression single isnt bad at least you can learn to do things,everyone does therapy differently ! i get very annoyed at people pushing ideas that a person dosent want🙄,
I’m almost 29 and I have epilepsy, I lost my job, my relationship, 4 years ago (and wasn’t for quarantine) thanks to that unfortunately I understood that he never wanted to be with me. I cannot be pregnant so… Maybe I “got thanks for that” sometimes I see people and the whole world is bad but sometimes I wish I could have kids. (Sorry for my English, I’m from colombia so therefore my mother language is Spanish)
11:12 I feel the same way I like get up early on Saturday or lazy Sunday. (During the week I get up super early. I work for a winery and we start early, but we also get off early, which is nice )…I live in Sacramento California. I’ll step out of my balcony drink my coffee and listen to well …nothing …..quiet it’s super quiet, so quiet in fact that I can hear the train which is quite a distance away, with my own thoughts….
Opposing to probably the majority of people in the comments, I am in a relationship. I am doubting that it is healthy as my partner struggles to trust me because of past events between us (I left her because I doubted her loyalty, with good reason as it showed off later). I can of course understand her feelings. We are both trying it again at the moment, I trust her but it is hard for her to trust me, atleast she says that. Any idea what I could do? I wont just go and do what you say, dont worry, I am just asking you because I think you got a mature mind concerning those topics. As an additional info, we are together for two months now, have contact for over 4 years already and know each other really good. I am making good effort, bought her things, give her food and cuddles, drive her around, etc. thank you in advance. and btw. your clothing style is amazing.
It took me months to introspect and find that I am actually a person who depends on the love of others and values connectedness and intimacy more than I ever realized. It took recalling memories and events since childhood that showed me I was like this since birth, I think. Some people’s nature is just like that—thriving in relationships more than in loneliness. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself an introvert and value my time alone quite a lot, but I still need and crave a romantic partner more than I can admit to myself and the outside world. And it seems to me, at least, that the only solution to solve the problem of craving a romantic, intimate relationship is through having one. There is no substitute.
Honestly, I think that Feminism, Self-Development, Travelling are one of the biggest lies you / we can fall into. Finding someone is not about being “best version of myself” or “developing myself to be ready”. Like you said – tons of our friends, people nearby are in relationships and they didn’t need to be “the best versions”. I think that the main problem is that we are, in our twenties, too much focused on ourselves. We become passionate about travelling, finding ourselves, being strong, independent, trying to build the career etc. BUT we seem to somehow miss these small opportunities that appear. It seems like in our 20ies, it is NEVER a good moment to meet somebody. We always tend to have “more important” priorities. It doesn’t have to be a huge difference, compared to “normal” people in relationships – mostly it’s like 10-20 % difference that is actually a difference when you (as a man) ask this girl out (or NOT), or you as a women accept the invitation to some date, coffee or whatever, instead of “being busy”. I may be wrong here, but from my experience in 20ies, dating was never my priority. I was literally never bored. I had tons of hobbies. As everybody i loved to travel. Even if some small opportunity seemed to appear it was never good time, as if i was afraid to change my lifestyle, adapt to somebody, be ADULT, bet on this “option” of meeting somebody FOR REAL (instead of constantly “developing” myself). And time passed xD It seems like we had … too many things that kind of distracted us from the most important thing – finding your life partner.
Guy 33 and single. Been working on myself a lot and are in good shape in my opinion. The girls i want, do not seem interested (i have standards but not extreme) for whatever reason. I think social media has an influence here. This means i and many other people are forced to cope with being single, because i will not go in a bad relation, just to be in one like many people do. Always improve yourself and keep looking for one that clicks
If you want to create a farm, I heard it in your other article, then go to Poland (next door). Better climate, cheaper, warm people. I am half polish half greek by the way (mother from Kolobrzeg-Poland/father from Greece Athens) and I know for a fact that you would have a good time there….more sun I forgot to mention. But it would be actually feasible to operate a farm there than in cold Viking land ( no offense, just too cold). 10-15 chickens, maybe a cow ( I would recommend goats cause they eat anything, no need for special food) a dog that does not resemble a rat and you are basically good to go…..are you still in Stockholm ? What did you say, I didnt hear you….Oh you arrived in Gdansk ? Okay, perfect. Good luck!
Here’s a tip ladies: That guy you like… Literally just tell him you’d like to wear his shirt. He will understand. In the UK, if we ask you out and F it up, we end up with either harassment charges, or coming soon, will be added to a terrorism watch-list. We need an obvious signal, not just eye contact etc. We literally can’t ask you out because of the aforementioned.
I have been in a relationships since my early 20s. I’ve only just became single after my fiancé who I was with for 5 years and a 1/2 left me a month ago because he’d said he doesn’t feel the same anymore and wants to discover who he is and travel and live abroad. Just like that. We lived together for 5 years and have 2 dogs together, he was my person and our relationship was great. I was happy to spend rest of my life with him but unfortunately he felt unhappy with his life and I’m clearly not enough. Now I’m single and I’m 30 next year 😢
after a long time of waiting for you to say something about dying kids in P, I’m unsubscribing. I have only 50k followers on IG and I screamed at the top of my lungs and I keep screaming today just to see you casually ignore it. I loved you so much. at least the idea of you I had in my mind. it’s time to stop daydreaming and see the reality as it is: you don’t give a single damn. I respect that but I’ll keep myself far away from it. thank you for all the time you made me feel good. have a lovely life.
I started my first relationship when I was 25, I am now turning 28 but I was (and am) not lucky with my first and only relationship. It has a lot of downs rather than ups, but somehow I still stay in it because I am afraid of being lonely. I got a taste of sunshine and rainbow part of the relationship and now at this age, I am somewhat afraid to let go of it and be myself again. Sometimes, I wonder if life would have been better not knowing what it is like to be in relationship at all.
34 and always been single. I get it can mean different things to different people, but people like me and you struggle to connect with people on a deeper level. They need to have that almost psychic understanding of you without having to explain yourself and be judged. They need to be someone who just gets you if you know what i mean. At least that’s what i’m picking up from your side too.
Wow, I really liked this. All the B-roll was fantastic! I can tell you put quite a bit of work into it, and I respect you as a creator for that. Anyway, Lana, you’ll never believe how I found out about you 😂. 3 days ago, I saw you were the top comment on a very short interview between Christina Hoff Sommers and Jordan Peterson (who I absolutely love and respect, by the way). Then, being my rabbit-hole-obsessive self, I went through your website, and saw that you talked to Ali Abdaal (_another_ person who I’ve listened to for tons of hours). At that point, it was pretty much a done deal—introduced by mutual friends, as it were 🤭. Well, I’m subscribed now, and I can already tell that you’ll be a significant influence on me, just like Jordan and Ali. Keep it up, Lana! I’m here to stay.
I am 37.5, I feel old compared to this community. We put so much pressure on age though, it is the view from society. I was 35 when I found my boyfriend, the one I was willing to commit with. Never before had I had a relationship due to trauma/unsafe upbringing. That is a real thing which many don’t acknowledge. Lana, I am so impressed how you develop, how smart you are and how you ‘got your shit together’ (not a beautiful expression). I would be so proud of myself if I had that. So indeed, you can not have everything at the same time. Last few years you had all the freedom to develop yourself and your work-related stuff which gives a very strong fundament, for when you will be in a relationship. These articles are so beautiful, I love perusal them.
Other than listening to your articles, I’m completely unaware of the romantic expectations in Swedish culture. What I feel confident in submitting is that anyone who has enough room in their life to admit someone else who behaves anywhere along a spectrum from unexpected to insane to catastrophically stupid is ready for marriage. Love is when you can have the most verbally abusive arguments and then ask your partner what they’d like for dinner.😂
I’m 28 and most of my friends are either married with kids or dating. I’ve been dealing with severe gender dysphoria, which has kept me off dating, and having most of my friends coupled up hasn’t really helped in that regard. But I do believe in right timing, and that there is someone for me in the future. And that right now working on myself and exploring my numerous interests is the best path for me currently.
hi, here is my expirience in short; im 24 and a queer man from sweden, some could say im young but its been really challanging finding other queer people that check the bare mininiom boxes on dating apps or irl. The dating pool is pretty smal and still there is stigma around it even tho it has become alot more accepted so quiet a handful of people are still closeted which adds another layer to making dating as a queer man harder. Everything u said in the article really resonated with me but sometimes I wonder will I ever share the love that i have for my little life with someone else? the way that socity is structured here in sweden makes it even harder to bumb into other people organicly and start friendships or more (alot of focus on individuality as u said). However i try to not give too much focus on my none existing life and jus remember to count my blessing (seems to help to endure that part of my reality for now). love ur almost 30 series btw!
Hello, I am 22 years old I long for love but I can’t find it. Besides, I’ve never been in a romantic relationship. I have never and will never use dating apps, because I believe that most people will only focus on the looks of a person. I’ve almost given up on finding a partner. ( Maybe the problem is that I have too high standarts for my future woman. )
I’m 36 and single and the older I get the lonelier it gets and harder I find it to cope on my own. Only ever had toxic relationships and situationships but nothing healthy. Your pyramid at the end is a great way of putting it. Many people including myself will drag on with toxic relationships for as long as possible just out of fear of being left alone especially later in life when your circle shrinks. I’m currently dealing with such a situation and there’s only one solution to it which is cutting the cord regardless of how bad it feels. I’m finding it really difficult but forcing myself to do it as it’s really an unhealthy one.
I think your Introvert just like me. I’m am also single I don’t get rush but I don’t want to be single forever It’s hard to be single if you are old, much better you have companion or partner in life when you are both old together. I’m looking forward also to have a partner. time will come If God’s will. I never loose hope 🥰💕🤞🙏🙏
Hope you find someone who will take you to the top of the pyramid. One would think things are easy for someone just from looking at them, but that is really not true. I learned that working on myself, means focusing on the things I have control over. Never found someone who would look past my baggage, no matter how hard I tried, but spending that effort directly on my baggage is more likely to pay off. Well past 30, and still can’t figure out how to get women to even look at me. But at least my mental health is slowly improving. Btw. consider freezing your eggs. It will keep your options open a few decades longer.
I turn 32 next month. I am also someone who has just never been able to make the connection it takes with potential partners to create something committed. I’ve found love in my friendships. Specifically, with women in my life who truly care about me. Platonic love is worth a lot. Things have gotten better since I turned 30.
Some people should grow personally before they pursue a romantic relationship (especially if they are demonstrably bad at managing their non-romantic relationships). That said, I have heard it argued that there is an advantage in marrying younger, in that those who do have greater opportunity to grow together and deepen what they hold in common than those who marry later.
Because you’ve abandoned your old self that was leading you down the wrong path, most of us choose our partner judging from the outward appearance only to find out there’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing and from my experience you don’t want to find that out. Just keep sifting through the pebbles and you’ll find the gem 🌱🕊️🌸
It’s never really completely under our control haha. I’m 24 but could relate to both love falling my lap and the loneliness. I never dated nor wished to, she came out of nowhere, through a lot of struggles we sticked together as close friends and in no time we knew it was love, but then five months ago I lost to a tragic accident. Now, I’m more lonely than ever before. With only a few people aware of our relationship. I have also lost a lot of my close friends around as they didn’t show in ways I requested their help in. I don’t know if it sucked worse to not have been in love or it sucks more to love and lose. The nature of these things is so volatile, I wish I wasn’t so confident about having more time, loving your own company and prioritizing yourself is important or you forget how to live just with yourself. But I sure can say, that I loved having people and my love and a social life, it is a beautiful experience to be in love, the real one.
Is anyone ever really ready for a relationship 🤣. One deeply flawed person trying to connect with another deeply flawed person in a deeply flawed society is always gonna be a frustrating experience. Sensing what could be but never quite getting there. What we really seek is self transcendence. We try to lose ourselves in a romantic partner to achieve that, and sometimes it feels like we have but it never lasts. Esther Perel is the best person for understanding modern relationships I think. Being 30 and single is fine.
Im 40 and I am single. I dated several women long term and they didnt work out. Mostly because of immaturity issues and trauma they carried. I loved them the best I could but they were not willing to grow out of their trauma so I had to let them go. Now im more aware that a lot of people carry stuff like this and I more wary on who I date. That said, I dont feel lonely. And im not actively seeking, I tried all the apps but I dont like their superficiality and the vague sense that you are getting rejected most of the time because mainly because of your looks. No. I would much rather meet someone from a church group or an art group or a class than actively search. As long as they are a compassionate and mature person that is all I look for. Oh and beautiful.
Lol idk if im the intended audience for this as a 21 yr old dude who’s only been in one 4 yr relationship that ended on good terms, but I really appreciate the insight in all your articles! I agree with your heiarchy too, being single (and comfortably so) is a lot better than being in a bad relationship just because you’re afraid of being alone. Who knows if we’ll find “the one” or be single the rest of our lives but its great to know that our relationship status doesn’t have to dictate our happiness/satisfaction, a close second is far better than a horrible roommate!
Dating someone while in your 30 makes you more aware of all the things you need to take into consideration to create a life together but it should never take away the excitement, joy or curiosity about that person. Keep that genuine interest and let them show who they really are without you judging them after three or four dates.
I am 19 and I found a girl that deeply cares about me. I met her online a few days ago and im not rly sure how to feel about her other than she is so precious to me and I am so precious to her and every moment im talking to her I feel calm. Im sorry if this is the wrong place to be saying this. But even tho I am friends with her im confused as to what I truly want. I want someone but not someone so far away. I am also afraid I might accidentally hurt her. Also we just met a few days ago. I guess time will tell…
We’re going to be seeing a lot more of these articles in the coming future and to be honest I don’t feel sorry for these women, men on the other hand are being rejected in the 1000s. Women have so many opportunities to pick someone who approaches them. I do believe social media has killed dating and relationships you can’t trust anyone anymore
You seem bothered by this, why? Are you comparing yourself to friends, or family, who have a SO, or are coupled up, or married? Stop it. Lower your expectations, you’ll be happier. Good luck with your date though. You know, I think you and Nathaniel Drew, had good chemistry, when you did your colab. Cute dog, by the way.
She made the conclusion that after 25 she became more risk aware (timid/ paranoid), analytical (higher standards) generally less interested and impressed (jaded), less easy going (high-strung) and since she is has become comfortable with the life she’s built for herself it’s a lot harder for her to get on a partner’s program (inflexible). Yeah you’ve made a great case for why guys should strive to go for younger women🤷♂