To create a trail of evidence for mediation or court, there are two ways to approach it: the right way and the wrong way. Thomas J. Simeone, managing partner of Simeone and Miller, recommends communicating civilly with your ex-spouse and leaving strong words for your lawyer. Recognize key behaviors such as lack of empathy, emotional manipulation, and a sense of superiority in your ex-spouse, establish clear boundaries, and communicate effectively.
In situations where your ex-spouse’s significant other is interfering with your parenting dynamic, take time to think through a solution. If an ex-spouse repeatedly violates a parenting plan, possible consequences include giving the compliant parent more custody rights or taking away the wrongdoing parent’s custody rights.
After divorce, most parents believe they are co-parenting with a difficult ex, usually because the divorce is hurts. To make parenting easier, focus on your kids and minimize friction between you and your ex. Focus on the children and use visual imagery to stay focused. Engaging in conflict with your former spouse diminishes your role as protector of your children.
Speak or write to your ex-spouse with cordiality, respect, and neutrality. Relax and talk slowly, practice active listening, and validate your ex-spouse’s perspective. If the behavior continues, it may be necessary to involve a family law attorney or therapist.
Demonstrating to your kids that you love them more than you hate your ex is not always easy, but it can be done using four methods: allowing yourself to experience the full range of feelings that come with your divorce, giving your child permission to do the same, and building a shared vision of parenting with your ex-spouse. Talk to your ex before either of you introduce a new partner, plan how and when to tell your children, and ensure your ex is aware of it.
📹 Stop Engaging With Your Narcissistic Ex Spouse! Start Engaging With Your Children!
In this Bonus video on parent alienation Dr. Sue talks about how important it is to avoid being sucked into your ex spouses drama!
What is the best co-parenting schedule?
Shared custody is a parenting arrangement where parents share custody of their children, aiming for a 50/50 time split. This arrangement ensures children feel secure and engaged with both parents, without feeling like a visitor in one parent’s life. Most parents opt for a rotating 2-2-3 schedule, where children spend two days, two days, and three days with each parent. This arrangement divides custody into two-week blocks, with parents having three and four days each week before switching.
However, achieving a full 50/50 schedule can be challenging for some parents due to work schedules and other obligations. This scheduling issue may not be as significant in two homes, as older children and teens may manage well, while younger children may require more attention and structure. Adaptations of shared custody are essential for parents to ensure their children feel fully involved and engaged.
How do you deal with a narcissistic ex when you have a child?
To co-parent with a narcissist, establish a legal parenting plan, utilize court services, maintain firm boundaries, and parent with empathy. Avoid speaking ill of the other parent in front of the kids, avoid emotional arguments, expect challenges, and document everything. Co-parenting alone can present unique challenges, such as splitting custody or holidays, which require cooperative thinking. However, narcissists may be the opposite of cooperative, with an inflated sense of importance, excessive need for attention, a history of turbulent relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
How to deal with a vindictive ex-spouse?
Managing a vindictive spouse can be challenging, but it’s essential to remain calm and avoid retaliation. It’s crucial to have an attorney handle all communications, as they can help in resolving issues and forming a mutually acceptable parenting plan. Some examples of vindictive behavior include removing a spouse’s name from financial accounts, maxing out credit cards with frivolous purchases, making unfounded accusations of domestic or child abuse, alienating children from the other parent with falsehoods and misrepresentations, refusing to discuss minor issues with a spouse, and making unnecessary discovery requests.
If you’re concerned about the spouse’s threat, consult an attorney about securing a protective order. In summary, it’s crucial to remain calm and avoid retaliation when dealing with vindictive behavior, and to seek legal help if necessary.
How to talk to your ex about your child?
Maintain open communication with your ex about your child’s needs and decide on a way to keep in touch without fighting. Send Monday emails instead of face-to-face or phone calls to cover the week’s schedule, questions, concerns, and upcoming appointments. React calmly, especially in front of your child, and consider whether your response will help you get what’s best for your child. If you want to respond, ask yourself if it would be beneficial for your child and only respond once you’re calm and composed.
How do I stop my ex from being vengeful?
The best way to deal with a vindictive ex is to avoid reacting negatively, as it can save emotional energy and prevent the children from witnessing the fighting. The best reaction is to not react to everything your ex does, as it will save you from arguing and fighting over everything.
Reduce direct interaction with your ex as much as possible, and once attorneys are involved, all communication should go through them. If your ex continues to seek direct interaction, you can speak to your attorney about getting a protection order for your safety. This will help prevent the kids from seeing the fighting and save your emotional energy.
In summary, the best way to deal with a vindictive ex is to avoid reacting negatively, reduce direct interaction, record interactions, and set boundaries. This will help maintain a healthy relationship and prevent further conflict.
How do you outsmart a narcissist Coparent?
To co-parent with a narcissist, establish a legal parenting plan, utilize court services, maintain firm boundaries, and parent with empathy. Avoid speaking ill of the other parent in front of the kids, avoid emotional arguments, expect challenges, and document everything. Co-parenting alone can present unique challenges, such as splitting custody or holidays, which require cooperative thinking. However, narcissists may be the opposite of cooperative, with an inflated sense of importance, excessive need for attention, a history of turbulent relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
How much is too much communication with an ex?
The amount of communication with an ex depends on the situation and goals. For co-parenting, some communication is necessary, such as scheduling, medical information, or school events. However, in some cases, brief communication can provide closure after a breakup. Respecting the ex’s wishes is crucial, as forcing communication can worsen the situation. If you have children or need to discuss finances or logistics, a mediator or neutral third party might be needed.
If the relationship ended amicably and was healthy, occasional contact is acceptable. If the relationship was unhealthy or abusive, cutting off contact is generally recommended to protect your well-being. If you have unresolved feelings and need closure, brief communication might be helpful, such as a final conversation or exchanging apologies.
How to deal with an ex when you have a child together?
Effective co-parenting involves setting boundaries, maintaining family ties, communicating as a team, being flexible and accessible, navigating conversations with your child carefully, and finding a support network. Relationships aren’t built overnight, and the powerplay of emotions can be worse if you have a child together. It’s essential to take time to heal, remember that you’re family, communicate as a team, be flexible and accessible, navigate conversations with your child carefully, and find a support network.
How to deal with a toxic ex-spouse?
To manage a toxic ex during a divorce, it’s crucial to establish and maintain clear boundaries. These should cover communication methods, frequency, acceptable topics, and shared responsibilities. Setting boundaries protects mental health and sets expectations for the ex-partner about how to interact during the stressful period. Practical strategies to establish and maintain firm boundaries include limiting interactions to necessary topics, using specific communication methods like email, and setting specific times for communication.
Avoid responding to messages outside of these times to maintain a healthy relationship. By following these guidelines, you can protect your mental health and maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-partner.
How do you deal with a toxic ex-coparent?
To deal with a toxic co-parent, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries, communicate effectively and strategically, avoid being reactive, let go of what you cannot control, and take time to care for yourself. This will not only help you in the long run but also positively impact your children.
Establish healthy boundaries by only talking about the kids and not engaging in personal conversations with your ex. Focus on your children and their well-being, as a toxic co-parent may use any information to leverage against you. It is crucial to maintain a level-head and avoid engaging in personal conversations with your ex.
Remember to take time to care for yourself and seek support from a San Antonio Child Custody Attorney to help you navigate the aftermath of a divorce.
What is gaslighting in co-parenting?
Gaslighting is a common behavior in co-parenting, where the intention is to manipulate the other parent into thinking they have done something wrong. This behavior is not common among normal co-parents and may indicate a narcissist. Consistently undermining the parent’s efforts as a parent can also be an indicator of a narcissist. They may insist that the child’s behavioral or school issues are a result of their parenting and blame the parent. Common indicators include these behaviors.
📹 5 Co-Parenting Hacks for Raising Healthy, Happy Children with a Difficult Ex
How to keep the best interests and well-being of the children top of mind. Don’t make your children feel like pawns, messengers, …
You have to respond to their emails, texts and phone calls sometimes if you have children with them because sometimes you have to talk about important things having to do with your children. It sucks because you don’t want to pick up the phone because you dread the possibility of them calling to tell you what a horrible person you are, but you have to in case it’s urgent.
Yes I agree, sometimes yiu have to respond and these individuals are smart they try to bait you in and draw you into their drama. If you have a kid with them like I do not respond with any emotion. Use grey rock and only interact on a parenting app which is documented if possible. Use very short responses.
I was just in the middle of typing an email to my child’s mother, i stop delet it and now I’m randomly perusal this article out of nowhere. thank you for the grate advice I will apply this to my life from now on and thank you to the universe for guiding me to what was needed as im sitting worrying about my son. thank you thank you thank you thank you.
This is my ex to a T. I took years to understand this. DO NOT ENGAGE unless it is absolutely necessary. My ex is drama drama drama. Here a tip: Block him/her to a special box that you check once a week. If it’s extremely important he or she will call. Once you’e heard what you need to hear, hang up. If he/she yells hang up. And KEEP screen shots. Email them to an email just for this . Later you have dates and proof. and in the subject line write what it’s about so you can find things easier. She’s right about narcissists wanting attention. Good or bad whatever. My ex is the same. Always calling cps, trying ot fist fight my partner, mad when he sees us, tries to manipulate our girls, makes them afraid to even wave if they’re in his custody during a school event we attend. And ASAP get your kids in therapy. A narcissistic ex is one thing but a narcissistic parent….
I am always going through it. A judge put him in charge of my boys because money buys justice. Even if they are grown he is still a figure they respect. He is still putting me in turmoil. Who’s going to believe me? I am a mother first so I sustained. There is no aid coming. I wish god helps release my family. I feel like I need advice
Disengaging is hard because I worry if I don’t respond it will make things worse. We only communicate by messenging. If I don’t respond or block him I worry that he will physically show up. We have no children together and we are both remarried. We grew up together and have a lot of the same friends. He blows up my phone with old photos of us and family members and telling me he loves me and threatens to harm himself. He told me he had cancer but he’s a pathological liar. I’m so afraid he will try and contact my husband and send him screenshots of previous conversations and I’m afraid he will show up at my house. I’ve been living on eggshells for the past year and a half.
The only powerful part of texting or emailing is that if they play the manipulation game and have a habit of denying saying things, you have it in writing how they behave. Personal example: The day after my grandmother’s funeral, knowing I was at work, they decided to threaten putting some personal items outside (we were already living separately). They choose your low points to try and trigger you for the attention. It’s pathetic.
I’m trying to find ANYTHING custody/court related. Do you have any suggestions? He’s making completely false allegations against me, posting public bs slandering me making me look like a bad parent when he’s the one that’s harassing me behind closed doors. And everyone believes him. He has everyone fooled. Yet I have screenshots, audio recordings, pictures, everything and somehow he still has me viewed as a liar, had parent, a danger. etc…
I’m having trouble with teenager infusing police drama out of bags of b s on me with her daddy been quite a while but we or I’m back at it with bogus police report and legal trouble despite no where around or no guilty for but always got run it course been ongoing 3 years when does this stop do I need to cut my teenager off too he an malignant narcissistic ex bad felon history still on one but laws judges court don’t care this man like god or Satan t b h looks like responsible victim each time please any advice on this I can’t deal with this merry go round thought it was done 3 years and lost all walks of life I just want survive food shelter job very bare necessary items for no dramatic stuff thank you