How Do Couples Divide Up Household Duties While Cohabiting?

In this text, experts Eve Rodsky and Jacqueline Misla explain how to fairly split domestic work with a partner or roommate. They emphasize the importance of having open and explicit conversations about how to divide household chores. To effectively divide up tasks, it is essential to categorize tasks by their frequency and difficulty, and task delegation is key in achieving an efficient chore.

There are two paths to cohabitation: sliding and dividing domestic tasks fairly. A printable chore chart for couples can help put an end to arguments and prevent housework feuds. There is no formula for fairly dividing household chores; it all begins with a conversation first with yourself and then with your spouse. Galena Rhoades, a research professor and director of the Family Research Center at the University of Denver, suggests that there are two paths to cohabitation: sliding and dividing.

When splitting chores between working couples, consider the person’s manner of work and any shifts. Some couples choose to divide the tasks equally, while others assign proportionally more tasks to one partner who perhaps has a less demanding job. One of the biggest reasons couples fight is sharing household chores with each other. Couples therapists offer tips to help couples get through the challenges of sharing household chores.

For example, one person cooks the meal, the other does the dishes after, and one partner washes the laundry, and the other folds it when it’s dry. Eve Rodsky created a system to fairly split household chores with her husband, which works by listing what needs to be done, talking about what seems fair to both of you, learning how to delegate, keeping your preferences in mind when assigning tasks, taking note of non-negotiables, outsourcing or automating tasks, planning and defining rules together, and letting go of expectations and frustrations.

Should household chores be split equally?

It is recommended that tasks be distributed in a manner that is perceived as fair by all parties involved. This can be achieved by avoiding an exact, even division of labor, as this may lead to feelings of inequity among team members.

Should couples do chores together?

Sharing tasks can foster collaboration and a sense of togetherness, even if people are not doing the chores simultaneously. Good high-quality relationships are built on good communication between partners, a sense of togetherness, and mutual decision making. Couples who shared chores tended to have better communication skills. Family scholars have long known that a perception of fairness is a big contributor to partners’ happiness, which partially explains why people in traditional marriages report levels of satisfaction equal or greater to those in egalitarian marriages where both partners pursue paid employment. In many traditional marriages, the partner who stays home and does the bulk of the housework and childcare understood or even welcomed the deal going into the marriage.

In most egalitarian heterosexual marriages, the burden of housework and childcare still falls unequally on the female partner, which hasn’t shifted very much in three decades. This asymmetry was amplified during the pandemic, when many women made the decision to exit paid employment because of increased demands on the home front. Many reasons for this were structural, as women are usually the lower-earner partners, so it makes more sense for them to stay home.

However, researchers have pointed out that if women have to take on more of the domestic burden, they are less able to compete for higher-paying jobs and promotions, and if they earn less, it only makes sense that they are the ones who leave the workforce when things at home get hectic.

Should housework be 50/50?

Ms. Quinn suggests that while a 50/50 split may seem ideal, it’s not practical for modern life. She explains that some jobs, like cleaning and sorting, may be more visible, while others, like travel insurance and internet provider, may be less visible. Therefore, while a perfect 50/50 split may be ideal, it may not be practical for modern life. Some jobs may take up more time and resources but may not be visible.

How to divide household chores in a relationship?

To maintain a healthy and productive household, it’s essential to collaborate on chores. This can be achieved through weekly meetings, identifying the most challenging tasks, accepting slip-ups, understanding each other’s current tasks, avoiding invalidating each other’s views, hiring help, not micromanaging, and making chores enjoyable. This collaboration is crucial for maintaining a clean home and a strong relationship. Whether it’s splitting cleaning tips or decluttering a house, collaboration is key to maintaining sanity and hygienic living conditions. The top 10 ways to split chores with a partner include:

1. Hold a weekly meeting to discuss tasks and expectations.
2. Work together to identify the most challenging tasks and work together to find a balance.
3. Avoid micromanaging and focus on making chores fun.

Is it important for the husband to share the household chores?

The available evidence suggests that a more equitable distribution of domestic responsibilities may contribute to enhanced marital and sexual satisfaction for both partners. Moreover, research conducted by Carlson, Hanson, and Fitzroy has demonstrated a correlation between the division of household tasks and enhanced sexual intimacy within romantic relationships. To excel at household chores, husbands should focus on the following ten strategies.

Does unequal housework lead to divorce?

Studies suggest that unequal division of chores is the third most common reason for divorce. However, conflicting research suggests that unemployment rates are the main factor contributing to increased divorce rates. A Harvard study found that a husband’s job loss increases the risk of divorce by 32. Interestingly, divorce rates among couples who shared household chores equally were higher, contrary to a Norwegian study that found divorce rates around 50% higher among couples who shared housework equally.

It is unclear if the unequal division of chores is the sole cause of increased divorce rates. To have a successful marriage, couples must understand all expectations of marriage and married life, including how chores will be divided. Therefore, it is crucial for couples to have a clear understanding of how chores will be divided to avoid a divorce.

How do you separate while living together?

Individuals experiencing separation often create zones within their shared home to maintain peace and privacy. Routines like scheduling kitchen use or quiet hours help maintain harmony. Emotional management is crucial during grief stages or dealing with serious issues together. Open communication and professional guidance from therapists can help manage these emotions. Some may also draft a household agreement to ensure a harmonious living situation.

Should a wife pay half the bill?

A straightforward approach to managing shared expenses is to divide the costs of bills, such as rent, subscriptions, or insurance, equally between partners. This method ensures that each individual has visibility into their respective financial obligations and facilitates consistent budgeting.

Should a husband help his wife with household chores?

Advocates for equality suggest that household chores should be divided based on ability, availability, and interest, rather than traditional gender roles. This approach promotes a balanced partnership where both spouses share responsibilities, alleviating physical and emotional burdens. Sharing household chores allows for more quality interactions and fosters a stronger emotional connection within the marriage, as managing a household can be a full-time job even if one partner does not work outside the home.

How should things be split in a relationship?

Long suggests calculating combined expenses like housing, taxes, insurance, and utilities and dividing them by salary. If you and your partner make $60, 000 and $40, 000 respectively, you should pay 60% of the total towards shared expenses and 40% towards your partner. To make bills more fair, set up a direct deposit from your individual accounts to the shared joint account for your agreed share of the expenses.

Review your bank statement each month and adjust your budget as needed. Keep some money in reserve in your personal accounts to cover unexpected overages. Subscribe to the HerMoney newsletter for free weekly updates.

Is it healthy for couples to do things separately?

Marriages benefit from having time for themselves, as it helps maintain individual identities and gives control over life. Alone time can keep relationships fresh and reduce conflicts over time. It is crucial for couples to discuss and agree on the amount of personal time they need for the health of their relationship. A balance between spending little time together and little time apart is essential for a healthy relationship. If partners disagree on the balance, it can lead to conflict, as too much time together can feel suffocating, while too much time apart can make one feel insecure and lonely.