How Can I Reunite With My Foster Child?

This factsheet provides a comprehensive guide for parents seeking to reunify with their children from foster care. It covers the roles of the caseworker, resource parent, and other involved parties. If a parent believes their situation has improved significantly and they have made improvements in their ability to parent their children, they can regain custody or remove their child from foster care. However, foster care is not forever, and children and youth can return home to their families.

Reunification forces parents to rebuild from scratch what was lost, but sometimes, services disappear when a child is reunited with their family. Social services caseworkers provide support to help get their foster child back into loving families. Guardianship is a legal arrangement where the court or a parent gives someone else the right to make decisions for a minor child. Parents can adopt a child from foster care, who need permanent families due to abuse, neglect, or abandonment.

The process of reunifying a child from foster care may involve drug testing, job interviews, parenting classes, and therapy. An application to the court to discharge the care order and have the children returned to their care can only be made if more than six months have passed. Participating with the court and foster agency is the fastest and most efficient way to achieve reunification and helps parents hone their parenting skills.

The only way to have the children returned to your care would be to apply to court to have the Care Order discharged. The basic first steps include getting the parent clean from drugs, showing they can maintain this, having a support network in place, and seeking advice from a judge. If reunification with parents is the main goal, the judge will create a service plan for the parents to complete. After a child has been in placement for the time period ordered, parents may file a petition asking the court to review the child’s placement.


📹 How to get your child(ren) back from Foster care after losing them to CPS/DCFS| losing a child

In this video, I simply go over tips and advice on how you can get your children back after they have ben taken by the system.


What are the ideal foster parents?

Good foster parents possess qualities such as empathy, empathy, good listening and communication skills, patience, adaptability, self-motivation, energy, a non-judgmental approach, and a willingness to work with other people in the child’s life, such as birth family, social workers, and therapists. They must make children feel part of their family, providing them with the same rights and responsibilities as anyone else in the family. Flourish foster parents recognize that children with traumatic pasts may behave differently than expected for their age and stage of development.

They adapt their parenting style to ensure every child is cared for as an individual with unique needs. Foster parents should not replace children’s biological families and may provide a bridge for them to return to their birth home when necessary. They should encourage family visits, provide regular contact, and be part of the “team around the child” who makes decisions in the child’s best interests.

How long do most foster parents keep a child?

The typical duration of a child’s stay in foster care is between nine and twelve months, with the specific length of stay dependent on the child’s individual needs and the level of parental involvement in the service program. The caseworker works in collaboration with the foster parents to establish placement goals and to ensure that the child’s needs are met.

Where do most foster kids end up?
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Where do most foster kids end up?

Former foster youth are less likely to be employed, earn less money, end up in prison, become homeless at 18, become pregnant, or obtain a college degree. However, new laws and programs are helping transition-aged youth during this critical time. In 2012, California passed Assembly Bill 12, which empowers the Department of Children and Family Services to support and assist foster youth between the ages of 18 and 20 until they turn 21.

AB 12 ensures foster youth in California receive housing and financial support for an additional three years, as long as they are studying, working, or taking job training courses. This is a significant step forward in helping these youth during this critical time in their lives.

What is toxic mothering?
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What is toxic mothering?

Toxic parent traits are disturbing behaviors that can affect a child’s mental health at any age. These behaviors can be subtle and not always obvious, but can harm a child’s well-being and development. Toxic parents might use verbal belittlement, emotional manipulation, and physical intimidation to control their children. Understanding and learning how to deal with and navigate unhealthy family dynamics is crucial for having a more stable lifestyle.

There are various types of toxic parents, including dismissive, helicopter, narcissistic, passive, and permissive parents. Dismissive parents overlook or undermine their child’s feelings and needs, creating an environment where the child feels undervalued and struggles with self-expression. Helicopter parenting micromanages every aspect of a child’s life, stifling independence and developing critical problem-solving skills. Narcissistic parents center their family dynamics around themselves, seeking or demanding admiration and struggling to empathize with others’ needs.

Passive or permissive parents avoid confrontation, have difficulty maintaining expectations, and rarely set boundaries or demands. Children raised by permissive parents may have a chaotic path in life and struggle with authority.

Understanding and learning how to deal with and navigate unhealthy family dynamics can help children develop a more stable lifestyle.

What is the biggest challenge in fostering?
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What is the biggest challenge in fostering?

Foster parents face the challenge of building positive relationships with their child’s birth parents, which is an integral part of the foster care system. The goal is to maintain open communication, understand their challenges, and work collaboratively for the child’s well-being. This process can be emotionally taxing but is essential for the child’s overall development. Despite these challenges, foster parents offer numerous rewards and benefits, such as love, stability, and a sense of belonging.

They can provide a safe space for a child for the first time in their life, and the goal is to reunite the child with their birth family one day. The decision to foster a child has a significant impact on a birth parent, as they know their child will be well-cared for while they overcome addiction, finish a prison sentence, or recover from a traumatic injury or illness. Witnessing positive changes in birth parents and helping facilitate reunification with their child is one of the most rewarding aspects of being a foster parent.

What if I don’t want my kid anymore?

If you’re considering adopting your child, you can choose to place them with a family member or friend, known as an identified adoption. This process doesn’t necessarily require working with an agency, but you can contact a local adoption attorney for more information. An attorney will guide you through the legal steps and help you consider factors to consider. Alternatively, you can work with an agency to find a family with whom to place your child, as some agencies accept older infants and can help you find the perfect parents. Both options offer different options for adopting a child.

What to do when you can't handle your child anymore?
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What to do when you can’t handle your child anymore?

Parenting is a challenging task that can lead to burnout. It is not your fault that you lose it at times, or that you don’t love every minute of parenting. It is not your fault that you wonder how you’ll make it through the day. To cope with the stress and strains of parenting, it is essential to accept your limitations, set boundaries, reset expectations, let go of control, and seek support. It is also crucial to check the basics of sleep, diet, and exercise, and find support.

It is not your fault that you lose it or that you don’t love every minute of parenting. Parenting is a difficult task, and it is not your fault that you feel like you have nothing more to give. To cope with the challenges of parenting, try these tips:

  1. Accept your limitations.
  2. Set boundaries.
  3. Reset expectations.
  4. Let go of control.
  5. Go out of control.
  6. Switch off parenting advice.
  7. Check the basics of sleep, diet, and exercise.
  8. Find support.

In summary, parenting is a challenging task that requires acceptance, boundaries, and support.

What is a failed foster?

Failed fostering, as defined by Dogtime. com, refers to a situation in which a family permanently adopts a pet that they initially adopted on a temporary basis. This indicates that the family fell in love with the animal and was unable to part with it.

What do foster kids need most?

Foster children require essential items like clothing, toiletries, school supplies, and comfort items like stuffed animals, toys, and books to feel safe and loved. Donations can be made through IDFAPA’s Amazon Wishlist, which allows individuals to directly support foster kids in their community. By purchasing items on the list, individuals can directly support foster kids and make their journey easier. Regardless of the size of the contribution, it can have a positive impact on a child’s life and bring hope and joy during a difficult time.

What is the hardest age to foster?

Teenagers are frequently the most challenging foster children to place with families, often seeking information on foster care for adoption purposes.

What is the hardest age to foster a child?
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What is the hardest age to foster a child?

Teenagers frequently present the most challenging foster children to place with families. This is because the majority of families seeking information on foster care are interested in adoption, rather than fostering for a specific purpose.


📹 How To Get Kids Back From Foster Care When Your The Non Offending Parent!

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How Can I Reunite With My Foster Child?
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Rae Fairbanks Mosher

I’m a mother, teacher, and writer who has found immense joy in the journey of motherhood. Through my blog, I share my experiences, lessons, and reflections on balancing life as a parent and a professional. My passion for teaching extends beyond the classroom as I write about the challenges and blessings of raising children. Join me as I explore the beautiful chaos of motherhood and share insights that inspire and uplift.

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27 comments

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  • We got separated from my mom in 2003. Since then we never been (I) with her. My father never been in my life and it was just her. During that time was terrible for me I hated my foster Homes they treated me like shit it was so boring horrible and I hated everything. This is one of the most wicked things people can do to a children and mother. It’s actually terrible these kids be too young to speak up for themselves and a lot of not good shit happens. My foster mother manipulated me to touching a doll inappropriately just so I can lie and tell her ” that’s how my mom touched my sister like that” because they wanted my youngest sister and knew they had more power doing it because they already took me from her. I was a child I didn’t understand what their intentions were😪😪😪😪😪 I didn’t understand what damage I was helping with. My first foster home I was taken to I was three, a boy was cussing in my face and verbally abusing me. They took me out that one because they realized they left me home alone one of the inspection lady’s came knocked I opened . I’ve developed major depression and heavy anxiety, low self esteem from this traumatic event. Until this day I cry thinking about this it’s just nothing good will ever come from taking a child from their family . I’m sure my mother is very depressed until this day it’s just a very very very distressing event. My foster home adopted me then we had failed adoption. These white ppl would mock my mothers name,take my door off, never ever ever take me anywhere stores grocery shopping etc.

  • I’m in los angeles county in one ogmf the most corrupt DCFS system in the state of California, the caseworkers break all there protocols, break the law, and break families apart the DCFS belive they are above the law, unfortunately many of us parents like myself are loosing our parental rights and nobody helps. I’m about to loose my parental rights and they have no sound of legal reason for this action they are about to place. DCFS were I’m at have all the power and do what they want.

  • Great advice. I wish we can do a collab… I have been dealing with DCFS for 3 and a half years myself. started out with 3 children i completed my services like i was supposed to and thought my kids were coming back. They prolonged everything due to covid and the foster agency has a high turnover rate. I have now bared 2 new children within the past 1 to 2 years and they were taken from me as well for no apparent reason i am constantly reporting them to the higher ups and and the ombudsman’s office but nothing is being done but retaliation. Private attorneys for this matter is extremely expensive. But i am well educated with DCFS now and have learned so much throughout this whole entire experience. Including speaking up and advocating for myself and my children. My new child who is now 5 months old was unjustly taken from me and my Fiancé’ after he was born premature in the hospital. By the way im From Chicago, IL the most crookest city

  • Everything that you said girl you just helped me I am calling my lawyer today my kids been gone for a hole year and still dealing with it and the worker tells me all kinda stuff and then it’s like when we get into my CFT meeting it’s something completely different I even asked for a new worker and they told me I couldn’t get one when I know I can I might just go over there heads I don’t wanna threaten them but I am too the point where I am let my lawyer know like hey if you can’t help me then I am going over y’all’s head cus my case doesn’t make any sense so thank you so much for helping me Thur this and I been clam and nice Thur out this hole thing

  • thank you for what you said. my daughter had her kid removed from her because my daughter has attitude with nurses because how my daughter was being treated. no drugs no threats. i wish you can talk to her. she likes your article. and she told me that you seem to know your rights. can you speak to her? she is mixed child black and hispanic.

  • Hey my child was taking away from me and my case is very serious because of what my child father did my baby just turned 9 months im doing everything I can and I’m worried about getting him back I’m confused Heartbroken and trying to stay strong I need help to understand this I’m only 20 years old I need help from someone who is going through the same thing as me

  • Currently have an open cps case & now my child’s father is trying to get full custody. I’ve been doing voluntarily and involuntarily services to get my child back along with supervised visits for the past two months. Now they’re telling me based off the last two assessments I recently took will determine if they move on to me having him unsupervised or visits in the home.. its like a waiting game and i am so anxious and scared.

  • Do you possibly know What do I have to do so we can become the temporary care giver? Cps removed my 1 year old brother they placed him with estranged family that is in question in being the biological family. I have a deep bond with him and have my own home & no criminal history. They placed him with them because he has a 5 year brother thats in there care. (WHO HE HAS NO TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH). I’ve been told he’s refusing to eat or talke a bottle. He hasn’t slept well. The grandmother is 73 years old and takes care of 4 other child so 6 kids in total! The case worker is so hard to explain why its the best interest for him to be placed with real relatives! I’m lost on what forms to file and where to start.

  • Thank you my daughter is DCFS custody & her mother went to prison I been trying to get her back since she went to prison she got out of prison idk where she at but I have a paternity / custody case they have not gave me a DNA test and after our first court date DCFS put someone else on child support adding extra on top of not being helpful and I have a lawyer they don’t really help men I noticed

  • I just lost my 2 girls and I was getting visitation but now the judge said it was not convenient for me to see them do still have the right? I’m a single father I did my program and one thing I was signed a paper thru my phone for my lawyer but she said if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to get my kids back she just rushing me plus u gave me hope I mean I did everything they asked for I’m not sure what the judge just said no no no

  • I lost my kids and it was really bad. I tried to report my case worker to her supervisor but I got into more trouble. Was asked what my children’s sexual preference was as that were being taking out of my home being placed into a two woman home. Plenty more where that came from. Had surgery on my shoulder for two tears and now it’s almost to where I can’t use it. I need help I need my kids I’m going crazy I don’t want to live

  • My kids were just placed into guardianship I was told if I didn’t agree to grant guardianship they would push to terminate my rights even though I did everything they asked me to do to get my kids back what do I do from this point on how do I go about fighting this …they coerced and forced me into it…I love my kids.they are my world I need them as much as they need me I don’t know what to do now

  • You are still dealing with CPS for 2 years! By law they have to prove that they have just cause by 60 days and if they can’t find any proof that their allegations are true it’s only supposed to be 1 year to 18 months top that your child is away from your home. It could be that by initially taking domestic violence classes your case wasn’t closed. By taking any classes that are not ordered by the court first is admitting towards the court that the case is valid anything that CPS suggest other than visitation you do not have to comply with until court ordered. If you don’t accept their services the first 6 months unless ordered by the judge or court your child will return to your house from 60 days thru 18 months. You should research to see if you have ground for dismissal based on the law that they have not provided any evidence that the allegations are true and to restore your parental rights and find the law that supports that and precedent that supports that finding put that in writing to the court and file it you should get your child back.

  • What do I do if dhr showed up with my kids without car seats? I’m the type of mom that’s vehicle safety. My kids are never in a vehicle without a car seat. I’m extremally worried. It ha been a week and I would report it but I don’t know who to talk to. This is y first time I’ve ever been thro9ugh this and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I waited to long to report it or if i can still report it.

  • I am a single father the mother of my children lost them and hasn’t fought for them none I have been I have done everything they have asked me to do they where supposed to give me unsupervised visits they haven’t done nothing but lie then I went to work and my camera showed them comming to my door with more drug test I have been passing them and doing everything what do I do cause they ain’t doing nothing

  • But Ionia cps does what they want even the supervisor an judge is completely agrees first they tell the judge you don’t need parenting classes etc.. then they tell the judge you do need classes the judge agrees I know someone it’s been almost a year an they been messing with them like this they have done it to others to I guess Michigan has there own rules . If you stand your ground they hold it against you an they don’t care.

  • Keep your head. Pay attention to the allegations. Address them by completing “services” counseling classes treatment etc. Provide proof of this to the judge. If you are attempting to address the problems they will usually consider reunification for you. If you have a bad social worker you can try to ask for another one but there is no guarantee. Its not your goal to impress the social worker, its to impress the court and the judge.

  • Absolutely i make a donation! Makes no difference the line of work a man’s in, a man with passion as well as knowledge and experience is hard to find these days. Finding one, in any line of work, willing to share his expertise such as you do, is nigh unheard of. You GIVE the hope and motivation as well as advice, that a person desperately needs, in order to move forward in a positive and forward direction, in this most disheartening and discoursingly hopeless process. Simply put, I’m much obliged to you, kind Sir. Hats off! God Bless.

  • I’m in California… son was takin from his mother who courts gave all custody in past….. i was the reporting party and helped them find mother who was hiding from cps… they found him took him and put him in foster and added me to her case… no matter how many visits i showed up to no matter how many hoops i jumped threw they wouldn’t let him live with me…. he’s only 6 years & all they did was accuse me of weird stuff and push me away… i need help

  • Vincent you are a harbour in a tempest thank you for sharing and caring about the rights of parents and they’re CHILDREN who are truly the victims in this farcical and truly daunting, ridiculous and corrupt system it’s hard to imagine how this kind of irresponsible, inhumane,practices are routinely Applied to the majority of these cases with no accountability whatsoever in the event that they are discovered lying

  • What if your married and nonaffinding parrent.only one parrent had false allegations aginsr them and lawyer failed to show your eveidence in cort to proove your innocent..so didnot get fair trial at all and four parties involved were all associated and had jobs that required. Lots of contact with judge even. Foster parent who wonted to adopt your infant from the start was associates with the judge .so you do not get treated fair in cort any way ..so parrental rights were taken of both parrents .rongfully??and there were severial kids injured in foster care..also Judge orderd siblings get visits .but some have never even met their 2 year old sister who we still have custody and rights to….who will help with law suit in sc.for veery dirty case and we have evidence and can proove they lied in cort .and violated severial rights .need legal help

  • I’ve been through the situation where I was actually put on the stand knowing it was a bad idea but still listen to my lawyer and while I was on the stand still had evidence to present documentation and was denied by the judge not to present nothing and I was not even allowed to look at my notes when being questioned

  • I don’t understand how I haven’t signed a single piece of paper at all since my kids have been gone we had a 10-day emergency shelter hearing which took 23 days adjudication hearing and got our family Court judge replaced with a judge in charge of the drug and alcohol and conveniently that’s the evidence they’re using on the mother and our lawyers lawyers undoubtedly scumbagged and play ball for them

  • Mr. Davis what happens when the non-offending parent has plenty of family members that are willing to step up to the plate and take care of the child while their parent is incarcerated but Catch-22 is every single family member has something on their criminal record. The social workers will even deny a family member to get the child even if it’s just their misdemeanor on their record

  • Car part is it’s not Beyond A Reasonable Doubt and child support payments based on the report the report as evidence and most of the reporters here safe from other relatives Witnesses some people that might not like you excetera excetera as a court reporting social worker for the child need to be really unbiased and willing to assess everyone in my family for the best interest of the child you have to make that recommendation as always to stay within the family because they have their own issues and they don’t qualify but that it would be the best scenario and I will never hesitate to take them from a functional to replace them with my grandparents and they didn’t even care if I had to go to Mexico into the home studies by myself social workers are scared of the Court you will not fight Bertram’s recommendation if they feel like I’ma get off of this nation from the child’s attorney but you’re supposed to do the best for the child support that is your responsibility even if your p.m. or your supervisor doesn’t agree you’re the one writing the report and supervisors a child don’t be scared

  • Im dealing with a dictator judge abused power male pig! I have 2 teen daughters who have been doing online school which is SUPER SUPER HARD & confusing so Now truancy accused us of missing too many days which we dont even know how they r counted present! …*my girls have always been good never gotten in trouble EVER ! Good grades etc. BUT now the judge says hes going to put them in foster care & I dont know what choices I have PLEASE HELP!! he is picking on us intentionally & I feel helpless!!

  • now they just throw it in there and say the father known or should have known that the child was in danger I’m not offended parent this is so stupid we have known if they haven’t seen the father in a while but it does is that they don’t look for the father right away they don’t and establish maternity and blah blah blah blah but still please the child with a father that’s not her biological father but because he’s married to the mother at the time and then that person will continue to abuse the child and the real father will never even know if they had just called somebody a lot of this abuse wouldn’t happen cuz this is abuse I used to get so mad when we will find me the father a relatively come up anymore or grandparently custody of a child oh no it would be a detachment to move the child from the foster home because they regress hello it’s a judgment not to put them up the grandparents or relatives another one is that only live in another grandparents they never live with them yeah well they don’t really foster parents either so why are we listen to them family should be first I’m so over it that’s why I quit CPS especially in Orange county losers no because cares that there’s more abuse in the Foster system than that then the homes that they are removed from sometimes petty petty petty stuff things that can be solved I teach in good parenting thank you single moms and dad some skills instead and pay one so he just want parents fail

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