Parental alienation is a serious issue that can significantly impact a child’s well-being and relationship with both parents. According to The Parental Alienation Study Group, at least 3.9 million children in the United States are “moderately to severely” alienated from a parent. The psychological effect of parental alienation can be profound, leading to feelings of confusion, sadness, and loneliness. Responding urgently to initial small evidence of a child’s hostile stance towards a parent can prevent the development of moderate and severe alienation.
Parental alienation is a situation where one parent uses strategies, such as brainwashing, alienating, or programming, to distance a child from another parent. In extreme cases, the alienating parent might lose custody entirely, as seen in the case of a mother losing custody for alienating the father. Courts may intervene in some cases and limit or terminate custody rights for parents engaged in such destructive behavior.
Parental alienation syndrome develops in children who come to hate, fear, and reject the targeted parent as someone unworthy of having a relationship with them. Allegations of parental alienation can significantly impact child arrangement decisions, but they are not the sole determining factor. Legal cases involving parental alienation have resulted in various outcomes, including the loss of custody or visitation rights for the alienating parent. Parental alienation can cause a lifetime of psychological harm to a child, not only alienating them from a parent but also suffering that same child’s emotional distress.
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What is severe parental alienation?
Parental alienation, first introduced by Dr. Richard Gardner in 1985, is a phenomenon where a child strongly identifies with one parent during a high-conflict divorce, often due to abuse. The alienating parent often manipulates the child to support their hatred, criticizing and interfering with their relationship. This alienation not only affects the alienated parent but also the child, who may feel neglected and angry, adopting traits of the alienating parent, such as lack of empathy and rigid thinking. The child’s loss is likened to a premature death of a parent.
What damage does parental alienation do to a child?
Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a mental health issue that is characterized by a constellation of symptoms, including anxiety, depression, and attachment issues. The treatment of parental alienation syndrome may entail the implementation of family therapy, individual counseling, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and family systems therapy. While no single solution is universally applicable, a range of interventions and support resources are available to assist in the management of this condition.
Does parental alienation last a lifetime?
Parental alienation has been extensively studied in Psychiatric Times, showing that the negative effects of such abuse persist even in adulthood. Children exposed to parental alienation during their youth do not outgrow the negative effects, but rather, the impact of the alienation remains with them for the rest of their lives. This form of abuse, similar to any other form of abuse, is a long-lasting issue that can persist even as a child grows into adulthood. Therefore, it is crucial for parents to address and address the long-lasting effects of parental alienation.
What happens to alienated parents?
Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) refers to the severe effects of unjust parental isolation on a child, causing anxiety, depression, and various mental health problems. Victims may feel powerless as their child seems to turn against them. However, parenting plans and child custody orders can enforce parents’ rights in family court. To discuss PAS, schedule a free meeting with a lawyer to discuss how our team can help you. This can help prevent further negative effects on both parents and children.
Does parental alienation ever end?
Parents who are severely alienating are often unable to stop their behavior, and the prognosis for these parents is poor. They may not be able to understand the alienation and may continue to perpetuate it, which is a significant survival issue for them. The child involved in parental alienation is not only a victim of the alienating parent’s behavior but also self-created contributions to the alienating parent’s campaign of denigration. This disorder is not severe unless the child crosses over and joins the alienating parent, sharing the alienating parent’s psychosis.
At birth, children are reliant on their primary caregiver, usually the mother, and they do not have a separate identity from this caregiver. This makes it difficult for the child to understand and stop the alienation.
Do alienating parents ever stop?
Parents who are severely alienating are often unable to stop their behavior, and the prognosis for these parents is poor. They may not be able to understand the alienation and may continue to perpetuate it, which is a significant survival issue for them. The child involved in parental alienation is not only a victim of the alienating parent’s behavior but also self-created contributions to the alienating parent’s campaign of denigration. This disorder is not severe unless the child crosses over and joins the alienating parent, sharing the alienating parent’s psychosis.
At birth, children are reliant on their primary caregiver, usually the mother, and they do not have a separate identity from this caregiver. This makes it difficult for the child to understand and stop the alienation.
What are the losses experienced by children alienated from a parent?
The loss of any of the following can result in adverse effects: the individual self, childhood experiences, extended family, community, and essential activities for healthy development. Please be advised that ScienceDirect employs the use of cookies, and that all rights are reserved, including those pertaining to text and data mining, AI training, and analogous technologies. The open access content is licensed under Creative Commons terms.
Do alienated children come back?
The alienating parent’s influence can be too strong for children to withstand, and their fear of the parent’s disintegration or withdrawal of love can hold them back. Research shows that many alienated children can quickly change from refusing or resisting the rejected parent to receiving love from that parent, and then back to the alienated position when back in the orbit of the alienating parent. While children’s wishes regarding parental residence and contact in contested custody after divorce should be considered, they should not be the sole factor in cases of parental alienation.
Reunification efforts should be undertaken with specialized service providers, such as Warshak’s Family Bridges Program, which aims to promote a healthy relationship, remove the child from parental conflict, and encourage autonomy and critical thinking.
When to give up on an alienated child?
When a child has expressed their disinterest in a parent-child relationship, it may be appropriate to give them space to work through their experiences independently or with the help of their network. As children grow up, they have the freedom to choose who they want in their lives. Parents can try to explain their feelings of alienation, but ultimately, it is the decision of the adult to decide whether or not to have a relationship with another individual.
If the child has tried explaining their feelings, they may be interested in therapy to help both parties work through the difficulties in their parent-child relationship. In summary, it is crucial to respect the wishes of a child and provide space for them to work through their experiences.
When should you give up on an alienated child?
When a child has expressed their disinterest in a parent-child relationship, it may be appropriate to give them space to work through their experiences independently or with the help of their network. As children grow up, they have the freedom to choose who they want in their lives. Parents can try to explain their feelings of alienation, but ultimately, it is the decision of the adult to decide whether or not to have a relationship with another individual.
If the child has tried explaining their feelings, they may be interested in therapy to help both parties work through the difficulties in their parent-child relationship. In summary, it is crucial to respect the wishes of a child and provide space for them to work through their experiences.
What are the 6 devastating effects of parental alienation?
Parental alienation can lead to various issues, including poor reality testing, illogical cognitive operations, rigid information processing, inaccurate interpersonal perceptions, compromised interpersonal functioning, self-hatred, low self-esteem, pseudo-maturity, gender-identity problems, poor differentiation of self, aggression and conduct disorders, disregard for social norms and authority, poor impulse control, emotional constriction, passivity, or dependency, and lack of remorse or guilt.
Canadian Justice Martinson highlights that children who are victims of parental alienation have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships in adulthood and are at risk for depression, suicide, substance abuse, antisocial behavior, enmeshment, and low self-esteem. Studies have shown that children and adult children of divorce often long for more time with their noncustodial “target” parents.
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Thank you Dr. Ramani. This article is spot on with what I am experiencing with my oldest son now 28 who I have not seen since 2020. My ex is his step father. I was widowed at age 35 (now 59) my sons were 4 1/2 and 2 1/2. Throughout my 16 year relationship, my ex undermined and put down my loving parenting style. He called me horrible names and had violent outbursts. There were times when my son was afraid of his step father. My younger son sees his step father for who he really is and has educated himself on narcissism. When I left the narcissist I felt my relationship change with my oldest son like he had an underlying hatred towards me and he treated me like dirt. He became arrogant, just like you mentioned. He is also very intelligent and admitting he has been brainwashed would probably feel like and insult to his intelligence. It felt like the narcissist was coming through my son like they were one. My son uses the same phrases like “big deal 8 times,” which meant that my ex admitted to abuse 8 times, but it was a daily bashing. I’ve had some text exchanges with my oldest son recently and hope we can rebuild our relationship but a part of me realizes that he and I may never be the same. It truly breaks my heart. My other son feels he lost his brother even though they still see each other. We have a daughter now 17 and she is so sad over the situation. My ex, the narcissist knew perfectly that taking my child from me and destroying my loving relationship would kill me inside.