A Step Ahead Child Development Center is a family-owned and operated daycare center in Conway, South Carolina, offering quality childcare for up to 216 children. The center is located at 120 Carolina Road, Conway, SC 29526, and is the closest quality center to ABC Quality, sponsored by the Division of Early Care and Education at the South Carolina Department of Social Services. ABC Quality is a voluntary, statewide child care provider quality.
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A Step Ahead Child Development Center Inc. is a licensed daycare center that offers care and educational experiences for up to 216 children. The center has received positive reviews from customers, with many stating that they have been pleased with their children since day one and that they are well taken care of, happy, and learning.
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📹 Recognizing ADHD in Adults | Heather Brannon | TEDxHeritageGreen
Many people feel badly about themselves and have no idea why. They just aren’t interested in opening their mail or picking up …
📹 THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE BY STEPHEN COVEY – ANIMATED BOOK SUMMARY
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I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
The first time I watched this article I cried copiously; It really hit me hard. Never before had I seen such a rich and detailed description of my own life. I can relate to every little thing listed, literally every one of them. I’m 40 now, but throughout life I’d convinced myself (and been told) I was simply lazy, unfocused and even unprofessional, but now you’re giving it a name, and I thank you for that.
One difference with me regarding the ‘not doing things because they are boring/uninteresting until things get desperate’ piece of the adhd puzzle is that, for me, I don’t think it’s a boredom/not interesting enough problem. I often have anxiety surrounding the completion of a task – even a simple task such as answering an email or reading a response to a message I have sent – sometimes the anxiety is totally unreasonable and unexplainable – but it nevertheless prevents me from doing the task. Eventually the cost of not doing the task (i.e the water being cut off for not paying a bill) becomes higher than the anxiety caused by the thought of doing the task, and then I manage to complete what is often a very simple task.
I’ve always explained it with this analogy: having ADHD is like your brain is a puzzle… that was dropped from the top of the Eiffel Tower… and I am at the bottom trying to put the pieces together- seeing everyone else with their puzzles put together while I am overwhelmed, anxious, and pressured with just trying to put the pieces together. When ppl react negatively to the point that ppl with ADHD don’t do things bc they aren’t interesting, it’s enraging bc I’m not just sitting here avoiding everything bc I don’t find it amusing. I’m not consciously avoiding things most of the time, it just does that. Having the right medication was life changing.
I’m crying, this hit me so hard. I’m not diagnosed but I’ve struggled all the time, especially now. I’m doing a research because the school it’s too much for me and I need answers… I’m asking for help but my family doesn’t trust me about having ADHD (I’m a woman from Mexico and the stereotypes are strong)
I spent 43 years trying to deal with ADHD on my own, and was consistently recognized as very good at my job, but not quite at the top level because I was inconsistent. I reluctantly decided to go on medication and was recognized as #1/357 in my career field the following year. The greatest gift of the medication was the reduction of anxiety, which allowed me to prioritize, which allowed me to focus on what’s most important. Now it seems obvious to make the major things the main things. Previously everything felt like a five alarm emergency.
Thank you, thank you for this article. I was just diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last month (age 39). For so long I thought there was something wrong with me as a person. That I was a failure. That I was just bad at life. Shame, anxiety, perfectionism… You hit the nail on the head. It’s hard to explain it to others and it’s hard for others to understand because all they see are the outward results, or rather, the lack of results, caused by the disorder. They don’t understand why I can’t just handle everything the way they do. They don’t understand the constant internal struggle and anxiety and feelings of worthlessness. I hope my husband will watch this with me because it explains everything so well. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone.
“In their minds the only way to counter the shame of not getting things done it and then hearing about it is to do it perfectly.” And thus not getting things done and feeling even more shame until the pressure gets to high. This! Like so many others commenting here: I cried as everything she says in this talk hits home.
Listening to this made me teary especially the part where she says most are perfectionists. I have been to 6 different universities and changed courses/programs for 5 times and at 25 still doing my undergrad while working. In a span of 23 months, I have been with 7 companies. I have wasted a lot of resources, money, and opportunities in my life. I couldn’t finish anything and my mother keeps on telling me that I always stuck in the starting line. 😢
The same way i am haunted by my pile of mail, i am haunted by every text response i never sent, by anything i’ve ever borrowed and never returned (i just dont borrow things now. and if you think i forgot to return something to you, or text you back, i did not forget. i think about it every day). It’s a constant list that runs through my head at all times, alongside the papers i never wrote, the degree i never finished, the kickstarter campaign rewards i never finished, the crafts intended as gifts i never finished, etc… all wrapped up in a quilt of shame and embarrassment and white lies and fear that if i told the truth of my failures people would think that i am nothing but a lazy fraud. I know i have ADHD and the worst part about it is that its so bad that i can’t possibly FATHOM making a doctors appointment and getting the help i need. The voice in my head constantly telling me “you’ve never been able to do anything, what makes you think you will do anything now?”.
The struggles are real! I’m 46 and have my first psychologist visit next month. I’m 95% sure I have ADHD. I get distracted all the time. I’m a construction estimator and price jobs from $10k to $6-10M. Yesterday I found out I totally missed pricing for a drawing detail that was worth $73k – Thankfully we haven’t signed the contract for that project yet and we can add that to our bid….but that’s the constant anxiety I live with – someone distracts me and I forget to finish what I’m doing. Plus, on the same day, the banana I had for lunch wasn’t fully ripe. Nothing to do with my ADHD, just thought I’d mention it
I literally bawled in tears when you talked about the shame, because that’s how I feel. I don’t want to be like this, I try really hard not to be like this, yet I still am. As for the perfectionist part, I go back over work I’ve already done and wake up at 3am, wondering whether or not I have actually done the work I’ve done and will literally keep myself awake, debating whether or not I should check that I have actually done it or just hope that I have and that it all won’t go terribly wrong. The shame and trauma is constant. I’m not diagnosed, but 99% certain I have ADHD
Just got my diagnosis at 24 and got on Adderall about two weeks ago. It’s been night and day. I don’t procrastinate anymore, I’m way less anxious, and I can keep up with work, school, family, and keeping the house clean. I’m so thankful I can function and feel “normal” now. And being more productive has helped my confidence as well. Total game changer for me.
4:20 this is so me. I waste so much time procrastinating, doing nothing. And then whenever someone needs of my time, or let’s say I’m at work, I keep think and stressing about how I could’ve been spending that time doing what I’ve been procrastinating on. But then again, if I would just not provide my time to someone else, or my job, I would still not do what I have to do. I’m not sure if y’all will be able to understand what I mean.
I was diagnosed 2 years ago at 52. In my research and lived life experience the ADHD brain is how it should be. Its modern day society, rules, and conforming that keeps our brain like a Caged Animal. We need to find our strengths as earliy as possible and build our life around this. Picasso Quote; The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. 🇬🇧🙂Keep up your good work.
I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and autism, which clears up so much about my entire life. Everything you’ve said – everything – describes my life and I want to cry. The soul crushing nature of work is just physically painful to endure day after day after day. If I had the choice, and didn’t need money for the right to live, I’d quit and stay home. It’s a horrible physical and mental pain that far exceeds what neurotypical people experience. “Oh work is hard, but it’s doable.” And yeah, we can do it, but it’s 10x harder for us to reach a neurotypical person’s average.
Can relate! Procrastinating perfectionist is my name. I have to create fake “pressure” to get my patient charts done. Setting a timer to get five charts at a time done gives enough imposes just enough stress to focus and get the charts done without sitting and spinning my wheels over every little word.
Wow. The inside voice of negativity confirmed by the outside voices of negativity really got to me😢Unfortunately I got into abusive relationships too, so the voices putting me down were even greater. I got to the point I can no longer be in a relationship. I also have become less sociable and I keep my circle small. Undiagnosed for 52 years it’s really taken it’s toll on me.
I’m getting emotional listening to this. My mother was never the type to take time out of her day to seek help for her kids or herself. Growing up I realized it was because she is struggling with some severe mental health problems of her own. But then where does that leave me? I always felt weird and different. People around me made it look easy to just exist. So I didn’t understand why it felt so hard to me. perusal this article, I hope, will be the beginning of my self help journey.
I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD and for a while I still wasn’t sure I had it. This article helps reinforce my belief that I’m on the right direction though. So much of my anxiety came from what I now believe to be my ADHD. I was always having problems with executive functioning, getting overwhelmed easily, losing stuff, having terrible organizational skills, overthinking to the point that it’s harmful, being so bored by important things I need to focus on. The list goes on.
I just found out, at 61 years old. I’ve had treatment for years, but was misdiagnosed as Bipolar disorder – rapid cycling. It turns out that I have both. When I found out, I was angry! My diagnosis came way too late. I missed so many years of my life. The characteristics that Heather describes are precise to what I experience everyday. If you’re behavior resembles what she’s describing, get treatment until you are satisfied that indeed the diagnosis is correct so that you don’t spend decades of struggle like I did.
I discovered thanks to my girlfriend that I had ADHD. It surprised me but it helped me a lot to understand what was happening to me. I can tell that it is very very very stressful most of the time, I get obsessed with stuff all the time, I struggle to study, get distracted by whatever… I can’t believe that non of my teachers at school could see it, and they only looked for ADHD help for the most hyperactive guys, bullies, and in general guys that were up to no good, but couldn’t see it on quiet guys like me. It all sounds kinda sad, but I have to say that thanks to ADHD, I have managed to be very active and fulfill the majority of my dreams cause I never gave up and I wanted to make my inner kid happy(obsession), and as I am perfectionist, I manage to have everything under control (under stress, of course). I’m about to receive help, and I am happy to take medication if I need to, cause my brain needs a rest, and I want to be able to study, going to sleep earlier than I do, and be less overwhelmed by my thoughts cause I genuinely think I will have a heart attack at some point… I found out this year (I’m 30 years old). I hope you all find the peace you need, I know is not easy. Hugs to everyone that suffers in silence, feel free to talk to me if you need someone that understands your situation.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD for around 3 years now (I’m almost 24) I’ve been on Vyvanse since I was diagnosed and I had started to gain a tolerance towards it so this past spring semester I started to see bad habits re-emerge. I took an internship out of state but my doctor said she couldn’t send my meds across state lines so I would have to figure something else out. Even though she was wrong I procrastinated setting up an appointment (there’s those old habits) I ended up moving to the new internship without a refill which lead to me being without my meds for 4 straight weeks until my GF came to visit and brought me mine. My life felt like it was crumbling apart. I was late for meetings, missed deadlines, & got extremely sensitive to rejection (RSD) to the point I avoided most social interaction. Ordinarily it doesn’t cause this amount of anti social behavior but I knew absolutely no one here, so I could never be myself and I second guessed myself constantly. I got my medicine back and since I’ve been able to accomplish so much, it’s like a fog lifted off my head. I feel so much more confident and self assured. If you have ADHD and arent medicating, do it. It’s a huge difference.
I’m truly so glad i was diagnosed, late 20s but not too late. My father died from a drug related stroke, he died at 60. He never knew he had ADHD, instead lived his life in misery, trying to scrape for dopamine as often as he could. It was only through my diagnosis that I realised that he was suffering in the same ways I had been. I’m now correctly medicated, I’m now sober, and for the first time in my life, I feel whole.
For years I couldn’t understand why it’s extremely hard to focus and complete simple things. Family always pressuring me to this and that say I’m moving to slow not getting things done, it hurts when others don’t understand how hard it is to clean up or grocery shopping. I’ve been to school did 6 different courses trying to accomplish something with my life and the frustration of not sticking to it.The time it took just to write this. comment. Reading these comments shows we’re not alone in this. We are still gifted and talented we just learn and do things differently. You are incredible inside and out💛
I got tested since I was little, and at one point the medical person that was guiding me said, “you are now 15, we can’t do much, it is time for you to deal with it”. So now, at 24 never take meds or try new things, so a lot of these things happen to me, and family and friends were arguing about it, and I was causing so much chaos, but now searching about it, I just realize I shouldn’t feel bad, or lazy, I just need to make the best out of it and to not let me get down.
I been dealing with these things for last twenty years yet everyone around me think it’s wild that I could even be labeled having ADHD. Sometimes people learn how to hide it in the front end of things but in the back behind doors, it’s a battle zone. Thanks for inspiring me to finally talk to my primary care and walk this new path
Thank you Heather. Excellent talk!! I was diagnosed with ADD in my mid thirties. I am a 60 year old woman. Being diagnosed with ADD changed my life. I finally had a reason for being different. But that was only the first step in my ADD journey. The second step (hurdle) was the getting past the stigma of using medication. I tried everything possible to avoid using medication and nothing worked, I still seemed to screw everything up, so I finally broke down and ask my doctor for medication. It was like having and living with 20/70 vision and putting on corrective glasses for the first…my world came into focus for the first time in 35+ years! Medication isn’t for everyone, but it was everything for me. Each person must have the ability to make their own decision about using medication or not, without fear of stigmatism or criticism. Back when I was diagnosed, there was more misinformation about ADD than accurate information. And the information that was available focused on kids with ADHD, not adults. So I hid my ADD in shame. I didn’t want people to know I had a mental disability or deficiency. I even hid it from my husband for the first 5 years of our marriage. Although he now knows, we don’t discuss it. He doesn’t understand it and never will. Trying to make him or anyone understand this…understand and accept me and my brain, has generally been a futile waste of effort and energy. Only someone who has ADHD/ADD can begin to understand what life is like for us and the challenges we face.
Ha they actually sent me for a hearing test when I was at school 🙈 I was trying so hard to listen. I could hear but couldn’t concentrate unless I was excited about what they said. I’m in my forties now and still find this so hard. It affects confidence so much and makes socialising a nightmare! Work is the worst. It’s exhausting! Overwhelming for sure!
Wow! After a lifetime (almost 50 years now) of being anxious, desorganized, putting extra hours in work, but never getting the matching results and thinking I’m not normal and not clearly knowing why, this talk was a game changer. Just putting the finger on the problem was a revelation. I feel I can go forward now. Thx a million!!
I have my appointment in 6 weeks. Listening to this made me emotional. So many things that never crossed my mind they might be related to ADHD. I never understood how I could be so messy and lazy, especially at home while being a perfectionist and trying so hard not to make any mistakes at work. My boss told me not to put so much pressure on myself and to not feel so bad for every mistake because we are all human. I know that, but I can’t control it. There are so many things I want to do differently but I always feel like I just can’t control it. My parents have told me too many times that I’m lazy and never finish the things that I started. Teachers told me over and over that I’m not doing the best that I can. I am so nervous but so excited for my appointment and I hope that it can bring me the change that I need. Edit: Got my diagnosis and started medication. There is still a long way of learning and improving but the feeling of actually having control over my life and not being doomed to fail has been amazing. Impostor syndrome is still there but it will hopefully go away with time. I wish you all the best in your journey!
The examples given were spot on the description of why not so much.. For me the procrastination isn’t a matter of boredom it has to do with the executive function of switching tasks and understanding what individual processes have to be put together to complete the tasks..alot of time is spent processing what needs to be done to complete “simple” tasks. The addressing things when they become so big you have to take care of it comes down to hyperfocus everything outside of that one task has to not exist in order to pull the how to information processed into focus. Fight or flight changes the neurochemistry to help this happen. When I was young alot of shame was involved both self inflicted and by others to tell me I didn’t add up to who I was “supposed” to be. Now that I’m older I understand and accept I am exactly who I am supposed to be and it isn’t my purpose to fulfill some picture of who others want me to be . Their expectations aren’t mine to carry. I am a responsible accountable dependable individual who does their best to make a positive difference. Thank you for this article for the compassion and biochemical information so that people understand it is biochemical not a “psychological ” issue as in we aren’t choosing to behave a certain way we are wired that way and have to learn useful mechanisms or accommodations to function when circumstances are not beneficial.
when she said people with adhd are perfectionists, she sold it to me. I’ve been told my whole life how I am forgetful because I am lazy and don’t care, but they never know how much I wanted to make things perfect when I do them because of the guilt. I end up blaming myself. damn, this lady knows. i need to go see my doctor.
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I am 62. A perfectionist, one that will write this message and delete, re write, delete, agonize over everything I do, except a few things where I feel free. (My saviour I have found is connecting with nature and foraging)… All of the things she talks about is me. I struggle. I am a carbon copy of my dad, he died in March last year always a perfectionist, a creative, always frustrated, piles of bills on his desk, never good enough, always wondering how others could get on in life with such bravado when what they were producing creatively was mediocre. Penned in by our perfectionism and the overwhelment of it all. Wanting to do so much but being prevented by our windmill minds. He was never diagnosed and we never had this conversation. I am so sad about that, that he died never knowing and thinking he was a failure. Time for a diagnosis I think…thank you for this talk and thank you to my ADHD forager friends who have pointed me to check all this out.
This has got to be the best description I have ever heard of myself, I got my diagnosis at the age of 46 last year after starting university at 45 years I’m now proving everyone wrong who labelled me as a loss cause as a child in the 80s I can’t tell you the feeling of relieve I have listening to you and reading the comments here, for once I don’t feel guilty for being me 😊 thankyou so much
What if someone with ADHD constantly tell you that they are making an effort to do better (and they’re still like Sally), but they are not actually making an effort, only keep leading you on. And what if their reason for doing so is not that they’re liars by nature, but the fact that they’re resisting the diagnosis? Do you leave them (e.g. if you’re in a relationship with them), or keep on fighting for them?
Never felt so much relief like I feel now…I understand whats happening with me…I am half way thru the article and I cant stop myself from gng to comments…everything she says is relatable and its like she gave me a hug thru this article…I cant do laundry…I cant fold clothes…I cant play a game for more than 2 days…I cant finish my crochet projects…I cant think of one thing at a time…its always everything all at once…
YES!!! Oh this made me cry. This is me!! And trying to explain why I have no time management skills is maddening. I think some task will only take an hour to finish, but it actually takes three. Or I think, “I’ll just do this for five minutes.” An hour later, I’m still doing it, thinking it’s only been ten. Medication has helped, but not entirely. I still have to use learned skills and tools to manage my ADD.
It’s like she’s talking about my life. I’m 70 now and I’ve been fighting this all my life and never knew what was wrong with me. Now I do. I’m getting help now and I will be seeing the doc. about starting meds soon.. But Why did it take so long after seeing so many reg. doctors. I got so tired of the doctors telling me that it’s all in my head and put me down just because they didn’t know what it was… Thank you for your great insight now my life has a new beginning. I guess its never to late…
I’ve been struggling with focus and memory so much lately. My family has literally said “do you have to get your ears checked?” because they think I’m not listening. I become so overwhelmed at the littlest things and my immediate reaction is to start crying. I’m slowly realizing that I probably have ADHD and this article really helped me understand. I just wish I knew where to start.
I found this article after I called my doctor to make n appointment for a referral to get ADHD testing. Im really just now learning what this all means and im a 25 year old trying to become an LPN struggling so hard to prioritize and time manage to the point I hate my life and want to be in bed all day instead of even talking to my own boyfriend who I love with all my heart. This article really helped me to solidify that now is the time I get help so I can give myself the best chance at being happy.
This is why I never went to college. Too overwhelming, and still is. High school was a struggle to make good grades; over thinking, checking my work over and over, stressing because I felt it was never good enough. I wasn’t diagnosed until 43, struggled through, not feeling like I was good at anything as a wife, mother, cook, or employee! I thought it was due to being stretched too far, and not knowing how to cope with all the life stuff (and my partner was a DUD). Now I only feel broken at 56. I have reached out for help again recently, there is hope!
Crying while perusal this after messing up with some university procedure, I hat emyself so much, my mom just tells me I should be more responsible and read more carefully, I haven’t been diagnosed but I want to so bad, my family do not think there is anything wrong with my brain, everyone have distractions that’s what they tell me, I swear I’m on the verge, i’m so scared about what my life will be, causing trouble for everyone
I just went to the grocery store for 3 things. I only took one grocery bag .. I was there for 45 mins, went thru the entire store, used 6 more plastic bags and spent $157. I got 2 of the 3 things. I cannot remember what the 3rd thing was.. and I am also medicated. Thank you so much for explaining this world.
Thank you for this article, it explains it well. I have struggled all my life with shame and being a perfectionist, and not knowing what was wrong with me. I didn’t get diagnosed until 33 yr old. Did a ton of research on it. Got overwhelmed with information and decided I didn’t have it, especially since it seemed that all examples were the same general generic stories with not enough detail. So I lived for almost a year in denial, things in my life kept getting worse. I tried therapy alone to treat the symptoms, but it wasn’t enough. Now I’m doing both therapy and trying medications. I’ve tried a couple so far, but they either don’t work, or my body processes the drug too fast and/or only partially effective for like 2-3 hours and sometimes I max out the dose. Im 37 and still waiting for my life to turn around with medication that actually works for my unique body’s metabolism. Trying to stay positive, but it’s hard. My professors don’t seem to understand at all. Which just makes me feel bad about myself.
So Good! Thank you, it’s actually like a description of myself. I’m 60 years old, in good shape and crazy active which I’ve been my whole life despite these problems you are describing. I am fully diagnosed now, since 1 year ago, and I am taking meds now which has changed my whole life to sooooo much better.
Just recently I started looking into articles on ADHD so I could understand how it fully effects my life. I understand a little better why I struggle with starting tasks like manual labor to even tasks I want to do like writing or drawing. However, it still feels like I am looking up excuses for being lazy or not wanting to do work.
I work in the voice over and broadcasting industry. Possibly one of the hardest industries to get into as a person with ADHD. Today I had to do many sheets of reading and recording and had a nightmare of a time. It’s quite depressing when you have a passion for something but it comes with extra baggage. It’s hard to tell my employers that I have ADHD because some people still look at it in the wrong way, especially when your job consists of quite a lot of reading.
Think I have ADHD. I’m 40. I also have anxiety / OCD, but now that I’m doing all this studying on ADHD I’m thinking maybe a lot, if not most, of what I have, has been misdiagnosed? It’s crazy! I’ve been this way my whole life, and always thought I was just anxious / neurotic. This article really hit home. Everything she said, I was like, “This is me!”
Really good content. My mother had undiagnosed ADHD her whole life (was always late, had a really hard time getting work completed at home and in her career). It was very frustrating for my father and us children and for her employers, but my mom was born long before this was understood and she would have resisted treatment. My niece receives treatment for ADHD currently and her son, no doubt, has it as well. I would suggest that someone relook at the closed captioning on this article—there are some errors that need to be fixed.
I have been doing a ton of research on ADHD. A psychiatrist mentioned it as a possibility when we thought we were treating Bipolar symptoms. I was on lithium for 20 years. With the help of my doctor and many months, I have now been off of it for a year. I have had no manic episodes and no depressive episodes. I do cry now actually though in appropriate situations. I’m currently being medicated for ADHD. The anxiety aspect is fascinating. 1200mg or lithium daily plus various other medications ( the list of medication attempts is long), and my anxiety never went away. The situations such as those mentioned in this article never got better. I finally feel like I have my life back and understand my brain. I cannot explain how encouraging, hopeful, mind-blowing, and enlightening this proper diagnosis has been. Do I regret being misdiagnosed and “wasting” so much of my life ? Yes and no. I believe the intervention if doctors, the hope in medication, and psychotherapy kept me alive at a time that was dire. Do I wish that I felt like I do now throughout the previous years- absolutely. Better late than never.
Watching this I feel so emotional. I’m currently going through the process of being diagnosed. I’m 29, a successful teacher who’s always done well academically. But I’ve always known that in order for that to be the case, I’ve had to work harder than others and struggled with things that I really shouldn’t. The part about the same hits hard, too. I constantly feel a sense of shame that I can’t do things like others, I feel guilty when I feel overwhelmed and know I should do something about it but can’t. I recently came across the term ‘adhd pralysis’ and that described parts of my life so well. Its reassuring to know that there are others who go through the same and that it can be dealt with.
🥺💛 I’m really fighting to get my diagnosis so I can have treatment and finally get better. I’m 28 years old and I have been struggling all my life with fitting in and not being ‘too much’ or even ‘not enough’. This article only made me feel more confident in myself. I know it can get better, even after 16 years of depression and other struggles. I just need to find that doctor who will see me and listen. 😔
Holy Christ!! This describes me PERFECTLY!! I really wished that I saw this before I retired. My life would have been so much better if I only had treatment! It was so difficult to keep up with the paperwork deadlines. I could not concentrate when I needed. I had to wait until I felt in the right mood and definitely not able when people were around. So many missed deadlines and because of that I worried about getting fired. Like she said, I tried to make up for it by trying to be extra perfect with the quality of work. I would have to stay late at work for so many hours trying to get my work done so I missed out on family/friends time, exercise and fun time. So maybe the cause of my depression a anxiety was really ADD! Wish my psychiatrist identified this. So many doctors don’t want to give prescriptions for ADD because of the risk for addiction. That’s terrible!! As I child the teachers always told my parents that I was not living up to my potential. Everyone thought that I was just lazy. I suffered by extreme punishment for so many things like not getting chores a homework done in a routine basis. Anyway, .
Thank you so much for this. I have ADHD, Dyslexia & epilepsy. I never want to read my post i just don’t get. Then i end up with problems. I get on with everyone i am a social person who works with servely disabled children. This is so me everything you say. I try to do my best. But is is so hard. Just the simple things are so hard for me. resure & trying to be calm is so hard . Thank you for this. My famines & friends say so many times can you not be quiet for 5 seconds, but for me just don’t know how to behave at the right time .. It can be so hard & do t know what to do about it. i am 49 now
Thank u! Ur such a genius! I know now I have ADHD and already an IEP as well. Never forget things, I’m very detail oriented, I’m super organized with everything but, I talk to much tho. I went back to my childhood activates that always kept me quite and shy which is art, painting and drawing, dance, listing to music, reading, cleaning, and baking.
Thank you, Heather Brannon. This article was very well put together. I deeply appreciated those pauses that provided my ADHD brain with enough time to process what you said my way and not miss your next point. You showed true mastery and care with your delivery, topical development, tine and volume control, and stage design. Thank you for sharing your time and expertise.
Toxit trait is that attention is deficit here too. You want perfection, even while saying a sentence, but you just going back-and-forth between multiple possible arguments within yourself, and at point you desperately want to have a say, but gets bored and start doing something which you were not supposed to do and will regret same instances throughout your life till your death.. (Just 1 out of million recurring thoughts)
“75 percent of adults who have anxiety, have ADHD as the cause.” I could weep. I’ve known for a couple of years I have ADHD. I asked my doc to refer me to someone who could evaluate me for ADHD. He looked skeptical, but did it. The counselor he sent me to went through a list of 15 or so questions, probably taken directly from the DSM. At one point during our discussion, I asked her what treatment for ADHD looked like. She said it depended on how I thought it was affecting my life. I said I thought it was affecting my employment. At the end of the session she said she thought I did have ADHD. She went on to say that she didn’t work with employment (fair enough, she didn’t know that was something I was seeking help for when I walked in the door.) and she didn’t work with ADHD (!!!???!!! Then why am I here?!?! Thought I was pretty clear on that one.) But she also thought anxiety was a bigger problem for me. (I have been dealing with anxiety for a long time. I know that it does not — generally speaking– exist in a void. Usually, it is the product of stress. In this case, I was pretty sure that the stressor in question was the ADHD.) I didn’t go back.
I remember perusal this article the first time a few months ago and how I just found myself crying as she went through the symptoms because my feelings were validated for the first time ever. I’ve struggled with this thing since I was a kid; I had trouble paying attention and maintaining conversations for extensive periods of time and I would forget day to day stuff and mess up grocery lists because of my terrible working memory. I also have a hard time hanging out with people for more than 3 hours because my “battery” runs out quickly. Just like anything else, it’s severely misunderstood. I hope people will one day learn about these things and stop seeing us as freaks.
This article explains my life so well! Just recently diagnosed with ADHD about a month ago. I’ve always felt like a failure because I struggle to get things done and I have so many great ideas but can never follow through to make them happen! If anyone asks me about ADHD I’m going to send them this article.
I started realizing I may have had a problem many years ago. perusal this article and the very 1st person she speaks of is me x 1000%. I’ve always felt as though I’ve barely squeaked by in high school, college and later in life. It has at times, almost destroyed me. Ive found little ways to help with some things but it still haunts me at almost 50 years of age. God bless anyone suffering me from this as I know the stress and trauma it can cause.
I am 34 and after putting off researching and book it in I finally have an appointment with a private and expensive ADHD specialist in 2 months time, as the wait on the NHS for a diagnosis and treatment is 2 YEARS. finding out the reason i cant finish anything in my life and that there is help for it is so exciting.
I’ve never heard my condition described so well. I do have anxiety. So many people in my life think it’s a simple matter of “mind over matter”. It isn’t. I can’t follow through if I can’t remember, cant summon the basic da*n hormones to function. Today I asked Kaiser for help, they gave me a number to call tomorrow. I pray I can remember or care enough to call it.
No, thank you for putting this on youtube. I have struggled all my life with the anxiety and low self esteem that having ADHD brings. I was diagnosed at age 47. The medication does help to an extent but it’s too late to help with some things. Having ADHD has ruined relationships, made me so inefficient for most of my working career and has wasted so many years of my life. Knowing now that there was a proper reason for my previous behaviour has helped but there is still a long road to go before I get everything back on course.
This lady was explaining this topic really well and not speaking as fast as so many do, so thank you. My daughter has ADD and I have ADHD and were both autistic. I get all hyped up where as she’s a little calmer, so we support eachother. I struggle a lot and now realise why I have struggled so much in the past by being bullied, abused and so desperately lonely as never had friends, wish I had been diagnosed as a child and had help and support. Thankfully I recognised similarities to other young girls I had seen during a documentary on autism and so I took her to my gp and so the journey began….its been a long journey but thankfully she’s ot me to help her cope every step of the way so she doesn’t suffer as I have.
This has been literally eye opening for me. I have been holding back tears perusal this, as I literally have gone through everything talked about in this article. I have struggled with all of these symptoms my entire life and I was diagnosed with anxiety at 16. Ever since then (I’m 30 now) I have been near suicide more times than most people would like to believe (Two generations above me have actually tried, one succeeded) and every single day feels like climbing a mountain, and knowing that I have to climb a mountain every day makes me feel so afraid of life, especially when I see other people climbing that mountain with ease. I’ve been called very strong willed, but it only shows sometimes, when I don’t have these symptoms. Thank you so much for this article, I will be seeing my doctor asap and discussing the possibility that this may be the case for me also.
I have a spouse with ADHD. I have tried and tried to get them to understand how this affects everyone around them, but unfortunately the fall back is that it’s always something or someone else’s fault that they can’t do what they need to do. On top of that, there are some narcissistic traits that are evident. So, no matter what, I always hear the phrase “you just don’t like who I am”, when it’s not that at all. I am at the point of just giving up and I don’t like feeling that way…
I’m 71 years old and just diagnosed. Incredible. I’m angry and sad that this wasn’t found decades earlier. I’m so emotional now… I could have saved more money. Been married fewer times. Focused on my hobbies more. I’ve been constantly moving homes… Jobs… Relationships. Buying different cars… Technology.. I’ve probably bought 10 refrigerators! I just started medication. I want the next 20 years to be better.
I just got diagnosed at 40. I was perusal this feeling/thinking that it spoke to me so much, and then she said the line about the college professor who is great at teaching, but struggles to grade student work on time and I had to pause the article to breathe, that is literally me, that is my job and that is very much one of my struggles. This is an awesome article and I think I’m going to send it to a few people to help them, understand.
I am 54yrs old, my daughter came to me the other day. She said ave been perusal YouTube and I think I have ADHD, but I also think you have it. She started to describe the symptoms and I was transported back to when I was young and she was describing my childhood, young adulthood and my now. I thought what a waste of a life, all the things I could’ve done or been, but then the next minute I felt like I had been standing in a Dark football stadium and someone turned on the flood lights,( so that’s what has been wrong with me).. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, I have taken four questionnaires and am high on their charts… My son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD last year. Oh and I also thought I had Alzheimer’s at 42, which coincides with perimenopause. Thank you for this, 💜💜
I didn’t know the term ADHD or its associated symptoms until very recently. I think I have always used it to my advantage from being hyperfocused for accomplishments of the most difficult tasks to be able to perform many different tasks at the same time. The “swirl” of ideas has allowed me to grow tremendously and help others do the same well in an unimaginable way. I would say that ADHD is not a disorder but a different form of cognitive thinking. Just imagine what kind of mundane world this would be without those that have impulsivity, and radically new ideas? The entire human race probably wouldn’t have existed if that ancient caveman didn’t charge that lion to have a chance to get something to eat, or those people who thought about all the concepts for our greatest invention today.
ADHD in adults is severely underdiagnosed so any talk of this kind is very helpful. One thing stands out in this specific talk, and I would love to know more of where this data point of “75% of adults who have anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety” comes from. While glossed over in this talk (for lack of time most probably), if this statement is true, it has grave implications for anxiety diagnoses and should be taken very seriously, as it suggests that all anxiety diagnoses should be followed with ADHD assessments with such a high comorbidity. However, most studies have historically only looked at the question the other way around, calculating percentages of ADHD comorbidities, and the highest number I could find there comes from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication, where 47% of those diagnosed with ADHD had an anxiety disorder as a comorbidity (Van Ameringen et al, 2011). So I’d love to know more about the study that arrived at the 75% number as I had not heard about it anywhere else.
I love what was done here and I am so relieved to see it out here for family and friends to see. I also am so relieved for those that have been correctly diagnosed and treated. But it makes me want to cry for those of us who, through no fault of their own, cannot access appropriate treatment due to insurance issues. And if there is some public mental health treatment, people are viewed as drug seeking because so often the treatments are stimulant meds. (I am a 50 year old market gardener in Texas. So that tells you I have no choice but to deal on my own.) Anyway, this is an important and helpful article but I would implore health care advocates to go further and bring attention to the people who cannot get treated.
Full on sobbing perusal this. I’m 22 and had so many signs, I don’t know why none of my therapists or teachers ever mentioned adhd as a possible reason I was struggling. It seems so obvious now that I’m doing the research. May not have ever started if I hadn’t seen some articles from adhders that deeply resonated with me. Working on getting diagnosed now, taking guanfacine until then.
What she describes IS REAL. However, from my personal experience, even though I’ve suffered from ADHD all my life (undiagnosed for 25 years), I believe that medication has to be used JUST on extreme situations. I have learned to accept the disadvantages AND the advantages that separate me from neurotypical people working with them both. I believe that most people see ADHD as something wrong, some kind of failure that must be corrected or cured. IMO, just because society can’t handle us doesn’t mean that some brains are right and therefore must be cheered and others wrong and therefore have to be tortured. (most of the times, that view brings us so down and makes us so anxious that we don’t even have the time or energy to cope with our differences and end up taking pills and seeing numerous doctors on the quest to “just be normal”). I won’t say that it is not easier and sometimes more satisfying being able to function as neurotypical folks; but most of the time, I’ve learned to enjoy being neurotypical to the core as I am and it has helped me to educate my surroundings. I’ve learned to cope with the problems that my “condition” causes in my environment and take the time to try and educate people around me so they can understand too that having an ADHD brain could be a strength and an advantage for them as well, if we learn to work together. Not easy AT ALL. It takes years of self reflection and interior work to close the self esteem wounds but if I could learn to live with the scars, YOU CAN DO IT TOO!
Is it just me or does she make it sound like medication only is the solution for al the ADHD problems? I think it’s a big part of the solution but what about al the anxious thought patterns? Personally I think psychological treatment is most of the time too much focussing on fixing the problems which are visible to other people. I would like to learn how to walk alongside my ADHD challenges and how to stop measuring my own worth by them!
Thank you for posting this talk. I am 72 and I am doing research about adhd – 4 out of 5 of my children have neurodiverse tendencies – I listened to your talk and could identify characteristics that I have had since childhood. I have struggled to “fake it until i make it” approach but now I am struggling to understand why I have traits that interfere with my ability to accommplish tasks.
Dr. Brannon I want to thank you for this article. I have been struggling with ADHD for a long time and have seen multiple different doctors for medication, however, listening to this article I instantly burst into tears because I finally feel like there is someone who understands what I have been going through. Please continue to raise awareness
Oh my god…. perusal this gave me chills and I almost began crying. It’s like suddenly all the pieces fell together and seems like I have been ADHD for 25 years, always blaming myself and not being able to understand “what is wrong with me?”, because all that was said in this article is so relatable to my experience in life. I am so scared now. Guess it’s time to look for professional help…
I had tears running down, hearing this so perfect depiction of key moments in my life… Unfortunately for me, none of the medicaments I tried (and I tried ALL of them!) made things right for me. I’m struggling every day, and it’s become a downward spiral I can’t get out of. Psychiatrists here don’t understand even a tenth of the depth this goes to, and so it seems that for people like me there’s no help available. It’s a very, very tough and lonely life.
This is an absolutely fantastic article and explains things so well. I’m in my 40s and after learning about ADHD recently I went for a professional Psychological diagnosis, It was confirmed that I have the condition and I feel better knowing. The things you talk about in this article really relate to me and I will share this to others to help them understand, thank you for this.
Wow. This article has me bawling in tears. I’m finally getting tested tomorrow at 39yrs old. After perusal this, I no longer have doubts. Its funny how I finally feel understood but yet at the same time utterly crushed… And yes this comment took way too long to write. I overthink everything and will re-read and edit again and again. I’m looking forward to finally getting a diagnosis 🙏🏾
Is seems to me to be a continuum of personality from industrious to creative But our society has evolved in a direction where we need to be like cogs in a machine, if we don’t fit we feel it. Is it 20%-30% of the population that has a neurotransmitter problem, or is it society that is too far from our natural niche? BTW, I am really looking forward to something that can help me focus and get things done.
I think this lady has been stalking me…UGH! I’m sixty. I’m finally learning that I have ADHD. I wish my parents would have paid attention to my behavior problems when I was younger, but ADHD wasn’t a thing back then. Back then I got a lot of spankings instead of understanding. Now I’m waiting for my appointment with my practitioner to discuss this.
1:44 “As you can imagine, a lot of adults who have ADHD feel anxious, actually, 75% of adults who have anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety”. Anyone know where this stat comes from? I’m sooo curious about it – though I’m guessing perhaps she meant 75% of ADHD adults with anxiety have ADHD as the anxiety cause, and not 75% of all adults with anxiety also have ADHD… because that’s a massive statistic otherwise! 🙃
I think it’s important to help people realize they might have ADHD; and for the them to learn what this implies and to get help if needed. Though it’s a shame the only solution this person sees is to get everyone on amphetamines so they can get throughs tasks at an uninteresting job. This is very capitalistic solution to a problem perhaps more complicated that just chemical deficits in the brain.
This really reasonated with me. I’m 44 and suspect I have ADHD. A referral has been put in for me to see a psychiatrist. When she spoke of the shame and perfectionism that made me cry. Everything she said it was like she was talking about me. If I am formally diagnosed so much of my life will make sense.