Adult children are increasingly staying in the family home for longer and returning to live with their parents due to changing economic circumstances, including the increasing cost of living. This can lead to regressing back to old behaviors and relational patterns, as parents often view their kids as children, no matter how old they are. Older parents moving in with their adult children make up a much larger component of “shared living” than they did a generation ago.
The “failure to launch” problem is an epidemic these days, as attempts to hold on to independence can be at odds with even the most well-intentioned attempts. Living with adult children requires open communication and clear boundaries. Parents’ top reasons for co-residence with an adult child include financial assistance, preferring to live with others, and receiving financial support.
The increasing risk for cognitive limitations in later life, along with an aging population, presents critical challenges for caregiving families and healthcare. As coresidence of adult children and older parents is no longer a rare phenomenon in contemporary societies, it can be associated with one’s later life. Living at home can be difficult for parent and child alike, and there is a clear call in both the Old and New Testament to separate from parents when staying would compromise one’s spiritual commitment.
In Spanish homes where the kids never left, some seniors adamantly refuse to leave their own homes and demand that adult children come to them to personally provide their care. Adult children living at home can be difficult for parent and child alike, but new surveys show that today’s intensive parenting has benefits, not just risks, and most young adults seem happy with it.
📹 Adult Children Living At Home
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ https://ter.li/ng9950 Smart Money Happy Hour …
Why do adult children not leave home?
The Pew Foundation reports that over half of 18-29-year-olds live with their families, with finances often playing a significant role in their decision to stay. This trend has been steadily increasing over the past decades, with over half of Americans aged 18-29 living with their parents as of July 2020. Financial reasons are often the main reason why some adult children may choose to stay at home.
Parents may need to set clear boundaries and rules for their adult children living at home, as the high cost of college and university may keep some young adults from attending on-campus. To reduce the potential adverse effects on their children and themselves, parents can take specific steps to ensure their children’s well-being.
Should you let adult children live with you?
Parents should consider whether allowing their children to move back home after college, especially if they have student loan debt, is financially beneficial or detrimental in the long run. Allowing them to stay rent-free and help pay their bills may not provide the necessary incentive for them to become financially independent. The author, who loves her three children, wants them to succeed as adults and teach them self-reliance.
By the time they graduate from college, they should be capable of supporting themselves. If they ask for help paying their bills and the author and their husband agree, they will have no reason to become financially independent.
What to do when adult children won’t leave home?
To move your adult child out of your home, contact your local court to learn about legal steps. Many states require you to serve a “Notice to Quit” to any adult living in your home. If the adult child refuses to leave, you may need an eviction notice with a 30-day deadline. If the child still refuses, your local police department can enforce the eviction and may notify them of their escort out within 24 to 48 hours. Eviction steps may seem harsh, but remember to treat your adult as a tenant and consider them as tenants if things have reached an intolerable point.
How many Gen Z still live with their parents?
Gen Zers are less likely to own a home, be married, or have children, and about one-third still live with their parents. However, cohabiting is becoming more mainstream as living in multigenerational households becomes more common. Young adults are more likely to have a college degree and work full-time, particularly women, who are achieving higher levels of education and earning more. However, Gen Z adults are reaching these milestones later than their parents did in the early 1990s, according to a Pew Research Center survey of 1, 500 adults aged 18-34 and over 3, 000 parents of adult children. Gen Z is defined as those born between 1996 and 2012.
Is it normal for a 25 year old to live at home?
In the year 2022, the number was 15. In 2022, 56% of young adults aged 25-34 were living in their parental residence, representing a 1. 2 percentage point decrease from the previous year. The cohort of individuals born between 1946 and 1964, collectively known as the Baby Boomers, possesses the highest household net worth of any generation in the United States. This is often observed to be in the late stages of their careers or early retirement. The cohort is currently aged between 59 and 77.
Do most 20-year-olds live with their parents?
It is estimated that approximately 45% of young adults reside with their parents, frequently perceiving this period as an indication of their transition to adulthood.
Why are more adults living with parents?
A Pew report suggests that increased student loan debt and higher living costs are contributing to the rise in financial ties between parents and their adult children. The report uses data from two surveys conducted in late 2023, asking 3, 017 parents about their involvement with their adult children and 1, 495 young adults about their reliance on parents. The results show that 57% of adults aged 18-24 live with their parents, while only about a third of all adults aged 18 to 34 live with them. A slight majority of young adults are financially dependent on their parents to some extent.
Is it normal for a 24 year old to live with their parents?
In 2022, 56 out of 57 men and 55 women aged 18-24 lived with their parents, compared to 52 in 1960. This data varies by state, and it is unclear why certain states have a higher percentage of 18-24 year-olds living with their parents. The percentage of 24- to 35-year-olds living with their parents has increased over the last 25 years, but it is unclear why this trend is not yet a trend. The data also raises questions about the readiness of young adults to live independently and the factors contributing to this trend.
Why are adult children living with their parents longer?
Living with a parent can provide emotional, logistical, and financial support, especially during education, relationship break-ups, job losses, or economic disruptions. It can also be a strategy for dealing with low employment earnings, job loss, or high living costs. In 2012, 9. 0 of young adults aged 20 to 34 who were usually living with their parents were the primary caregivers. Factors contributing to this increase include the higher percentage of young people pursuing postsecondary education, whose student debt often results in greater economic dependence. Additionally, living with a parent does not come with the same stigma as in previous generations, removing a social deterrent from choosing this living arrangement.
Why do 20 year olds live with their parents?
As a young adult residing with one’s parents, one may require a sense of stability following the completion of one’s college education, the pursuit of gainful employment, the accumulation of financial resources for future endeavors, or the ability to navigate one’s life with a sense of stability.
Why are kids still living with their parents?
Young adults residing in states with high housing costs are more likely to live with their parents, frequently in multigenerational households. Hawaii, the most expensive state for housing, has the highest percentage of young adults living with their families. In 2022, 58% of all renters in Hawaii spent 30% or more of their income on housing costs. This phenomenon may be attributed to cultural or financial factors.
📹 Rules for Adult Children at Home
Im 27 and still live with my a dad in LA. My mom passed away and until I get married I plan on spending as much time as I have with my dad for the relatively short amount of time a person lives in this world. I work and pay rent to the best of my ability. Even after I get married, perhaps my dad will live in the same house as my wife and I. I hope people dont judge me for this.
Completely disagree. Living at home while attending college helps tremendously. It allows you to put your money towards school instead of rent. I don’t get how Dave is so pro pay your way through college but then says students trying to pay for college should move out and spend the money they could be using for tuition on rent, utilities, etc. Children living at home until they are financially stable is rampant in Asia and in some aspects they are doing better than us.
This is a cultural opinion. Many families in other countries stay together under one roof for life and are as emotionally mature as anyone else. You will see more and more older kids living at home as the economy continues to tank. The days of “its not cool or socially acceptable to live at home past age 19” are over, so be careful in kicking your kids to the curb as you might need them to help you pay the bills.
I have to disagree here with Dave on this one. If my parents kicked me out of the house at 19, there is no way I would be where I am today, earning a six figure income with a doctorate degree. I hope parents, after perusal this article, don’t consider pushing their kids out of the house without working through a well thought out plan with them and guidance.
I thank God that I had my mother to help me when I made some stupid decisions in my late teens. She babysat my son while I worked and went to school. We didn’t have any money, as the jobs I got were unskilled. It took me until the age of 35 to get my masters degree. I went in the military, also, which helped pay for school, then got two grants for the last two years. I was not with my mother the whole time. But she was my only support during the early years, otherwise I would have been a welfare mother, and never would have gotten an education, which she drummed into my head. She never got one, and was sorry. My living with her helped both of us financially, and gave my son a consistent figure who cared deeply about him. He is a success today, as am I. Everyone’s situation is different, as one size does not fit everyone.
25, still at home, make about 40k, still in school, don’t pay rent but help around the house(like help pay for remodeling). Unmarried, no kids. In my parents culture we don’t move out until we get married especially if we live in the same state. My parents left home at 19 and 24 because they got married. Different cultures
As a parent, I feel parents should stop comparing the economical circumstances today to the circumstances of when we were their age. I see this all the time. The cost of living today is based on a 2 PERSON INCOME. Moms leaving the home completely changed the game. Plus there are way less jobs when you compare it to the people entering or in the workforce compared to when we were younger. And because of so many attendees in higher education now (easier loans and grants) a college degree has become similar to what a HS diploma was when we were younger. Totally different game they’re playing now and it takes a much different attitude and game plan.
I really respect Dave, but this is the one thing I don’t see eye-to-eye with him on. With the way the economy is, it would be setting your children back if they are trying to go to college, and deal with paying for a place to live as well. He obviously doesn’t know how hard it is to do that when coming from a working class family. As long as they are productive-that is working and going to school, not laying around like a slob-I see no problem with adult children staying at home to get back on their feet. As long as they have a PLAN with a timeframe on what they will do to move out. If they are just laying around playing article games and bsing, then kick their lazy behinds to the curb.
My parents never said to me anything like “You need to be out in 6 months” or anything like that. After college, I lived at home for a little over a year and recently moved out. I agree about maybe having them doing their own laundry, helping around the house, running errands, and things to upkeep the household, but don’t kick them to the curb. Guaranteed, if I didn’t feel ready to move, didn’t have the money, or whatever, my parents would have been more than happy to let me stay longer. Heck, I knew a married couple with a one year old son who lived with the wife’s parents while they saved up. Everyone’s situation is different.
This is American BS. In most other countries, adult children are allowed to live at home and CONTRIBUTE. Notice I said contribute. Multiple incomes is far better financially in the long term for everyone involved vs single income. I came back home after burning too much money on needless rent. I am now able to save and look into growing my money, not burning it, all while helping my family financially. This is how the culture of detached children and elderly abandonment begins and ends…by kicking out family members under the guise of “learning to fly.” No wonder so many people can’t find emotionally supporting partners later in life.
Dave speaks from an outside perspective, being sarcastic, cynical and comparing everything with his personal experience. It’s obvious that the people calling are not telling everything since you can hear they sound somewhat embarassed and ashamed of their situations. I feel like Dave is not helping here, he’s actually intimidating the lady. She defininetly doesn’t sound comfortable with what Dave is telling her…
Completely agree! I moved out @25, when living with my parents, I was living paycheck to paycheck and getting into debt. Moved out @25, learned about bills and expenses, saved up for a down payment while living with a roommate. I plan to pay the house off in 5 years. I see adults living at home and making horrible financial decisions and not planning because they have a place to stay even if they spend more then they make. My parents didn’t want me to move out (the culture) but I’m soooo glad I did. I grew up overnight. Would not be where I’m at now if I had stayed.
“They need a plan for exit”…that’s the point. It’s not about rent, education, jobs, chores, it about observing whether you’re late teens are progressing into pro-active adult responsibilities. I moved out of home as soon as I finished high school, my Dad did multiple things to slow that exit (out of a desire to look after me), & it stunted my growth. I was the one that had to keep cutting the apron strings!! The sad thing is 20+ yrs later my Dad is still stepping in to my siblings life to “help” when he needs to let them struggle & learn.
Why would anyone need Dave’s opinion to when your kids need to leave home? I just think you can determine what’s best in your own situation… I left home at 17 when I joined the military. My kids left at various times and ages based on their own unique circumstance. If you raise good responsible children it doesn’t matter when they leave home… today, It’s more a matter of economics than immaturity.
I have 2 sons, one is wild, left home at 18, went to the city, had 2 kids to 2 different mums, been in trouble, broke all the time but you can see the experience is slowly growing him up, 2nd son now 27, lives with me still, works 2 jobs, pays me board, invests in stocks and has a large cash emergency fund, highly intellegent but can be immature, and has not strived to be his best as he can lean on me, he does well but could do much better, lazy round the house and not at all social, daves point of emotional growth and maturity is right.
I was a single mom no child support raised two boys worked two and three jobs. But I know even when they were 18 years old I could’ve dropped them off in Omaha in the winter and they would’ve survived. You’re not being a good parent if you don’t teach your children to take care of themselves. I agree with Dave Ramsey 1000%. They both have become hugely successful and wonderful human beings. I could not be more proud of them.
Disagree with Dave on this. Not all adult children are moochers. Some are contributing to the family home in a helpful way. Some have special needs, like epilepsy, and hearing attitudes like this add to their misery. Please understand there are different situations and even cultural norms. Did Jesus leave home at 18? Laying blanket judgement on young adults is wrong.
an adult child living in the home should absolutely contribute to the house ( helping clean, cook, help with siblings, errands, etc). i think if they’re not working or in school it’s ridiculous. i think being a college student and having a plan to move out by a certain time with a goal is very reasonable
I moved out at 20 with my moocher older bf. Broke up after 2yrs and moved in with my uncle at 22 to finish my degree. At 25 I bought my own car, and moved out into an apt. I’ve been on my own until now. I quit a toxic job, and moved in with another uncle 9 years later. I’m finally paying of my student loans, but am itching to move out again. I want to move into a sustainable tiny home rather than an apartment.
Oh god, I needed to send this to my sister lol. My other older sister is almost 30 and has been coasting between living at my grandma and my other sister rent-free, only paying the car insurance (sometimes) and still coming out broke. I don’t really understand how children can come back to live with their family for so long and not feel guilty.
Something I noticed on Till Debt Do Us Part show (canadian show I watched in youtube) was the very common circumstance of adults having an income while living with parents and parents not expecting rent from their (grown) children, and when they do leave home they had become accustomed to having an income that was largely disposable income. Having too much disposable income then adapting to actual living costs when they moved out was rough and debt inducing. Charge adults rent in your house, its preventing bad habits.
Dave has a very truncated and shallow understanding of the word “maturity”. EDIT: That being said, his financial advice is always sound. But people shouldn’t be coming to him for advice on human relationship issues. It’s like listening to a man who has no concept of the nuances of human life and only sees black and white. Dave might have a high I.Q. but definitely scores low on emotional intelligence.
Only in the USA do kids get treated like so much burden to kick to the curb at a certain age range. In other countries there are 3 generation families in one home. I guess the USA is too greedy. Even China is starting to treat elderly like so much unwanted burden in favour of personal wealth. Even higher education isn’t really enough to compete. Most specialized jobs are more than often a “who you know” thing, while the unskilled jobs are often 100 applicants to one job. Even the fact many public schools are getting university class sizes; from reproductive sprawl. That will create even more problems for job competition in adulthood. I have heard it said that the babyboomer generation is heading into retirement and their won’t be enough younger people with jobs to adequately support the social security fund.
I really hate how these old people talk when I was 19 lol since Ramsey always looks at data why not talk about the data that shows college was cheaper when he was growing up adjusted for inflation the minimum wage should be $22 an hour when Ramsey was growing up it means he made 6$ more then then the average worker today 🙄🙄alot of boomers dont realize they had it good and basically messed up economy and workers rights movement for self gain gorge Carlin had it right when he called out the boomers
I stayed at my parent’s house after college graduation. Once I found a full time job, I gave them weekly rent, even though they did not ask for it. Once I went to another state and got a full time job, they sent a check for that amount. I never wanted the money and did not ask for it. They were great parents.
Yeah, I disagree with Dave. I’m 23 and I live at home. However, I work two jobs and go to school full time. I pay for all my expenses, I also help pay for bills. I think if your kid is staying at home, and as long as they are working or in school or something productive then that’s fine. But if your kid isn’t helping out and they aren’t doing something productive then yeah that’s different. Dave’s examples of his children I feel aren’t valid. I seriously doubt, any of his kids have student loan debt or ever had to make a tuition payment.
What kind of culture do Americans have?? There own parents throwing there son out of the house. In South Asia Parents love their Children no matter how old they are. South Asian keep their Children even they are old. Is it because America has one of the biggest economy and employment opportunities and really easy to find jobs???
I’m 23 and still live at home. I have a job and pay for rent, food, and I wash my own clothes with laundry detergent buy my own toilet paper etc… However it’s difficult to save and when you are raised by Hispanic parents who have a slight issue with their children especially the females leaving home before marriage. I really WANT to move out just so that I can come home and not listen to parents and do everything at my own pace.
I don’t get Dave Ramsey’s logic sometimes. He calls kids living at parents home after college without paying rent so that they can pay their debt down moochers, but he supports a woman feeling entitled to her parents in law paying off her husband’s school debt in another article. It seems like he agrees with whatever position the caller is taking. In this case, she’s in school… why are you suggesting that she needs to be kicked out? Not to mention that from his website I’m pretty sure he paid for his kids college tuition. Of course they were able to move out right away.
..And when Dave gets old, he yearns to have his children near him, but he forced them out, so they learned to get along fine without him, then they put him in a nursing home, because… they get along fine without him. Didn’t quote a single scripture to support his position. Abraham was the only person in the Bible that left his parents home, because GOD commanded him to, everyone one else was fine living with and inheriting from their parents, including Isaac, Abraham’s son.
Terrible advice. Dave has no idea of the students’ debt and yet the primary goal is for them to move out? He’s so out of touch with cost of living, tuition prices and wage stagnation in 2017. This is where Dave tries to segway from giving financial advice to giving relationship advice and he makes blanket suggestions that could harm the student in the long run.
Uhh I want to send this to my boyfriends mom! She bails him out of everything and it drives me crazy. The hardest and best thing that ever happened to me was when my parents were no longer able to support me. I would not have the life I have today if they had continued to financially shelter me from reality. Please keep sharing this stuff Dave, I think the upcoming generation is going to need this advice even more than mine did!
Dave is 100% correct about every single thing he said in this piece. My brother is 53 years old still living at home with my father. He’s irresponsible, emotionally immature and incapable of making adult decisions. My father should have given him an exit plan and because he didn’t and my father has now passed away, he does not have the tools he needs to now survive independent of my parents. They enabled him all his life and though, they may have been doing it in the name of love, they did him a huge disservice.
You couldn’t have paid me to stay at home as soon as I became an adult… I’m 25 now. College degree, married, recently debt free, about to have our first child. I look at the people I graduated high school with and many of them are still at home doing the same things they were doing in high school. I can’t even imagine!
37 and i’m still at home i cant afford to move out, rent prices are too high and my job doesnt pay me enough, and i’m lucky to have the job i have now after spendng 10 years and 100+ interviews trying to get one. i’m single and also feel displaced. i hae no partner and no friends to move to. nothing here interests me anymore. i feel disconnected from my family of whom i dont get on with. i feel like theres no way out in my life. i dont want to be alive anymore. its painful its come to this.
Also don’t agree with Dave. I travel for work during the week and stay with my parents during the weekend. It would be financially “stupid”, to use Dave’s word, to pay for an apartment or house that I barely live in. Eventually I will have to do it because it is difficult living with parents, but it’s a smart financial choice if they are willing. I have friends throwing away entire paychecks to mortgages. Everyone’s situation is different, and I don’t see it as a maturity issue. I was less mature living with roommates in college.
Everyones situation is different. As long as you’re responsible, you’re actively saving and investing your money and not spending that money on things you don’t need, it’s absolutely ok to live with your parents. It’s not much different than living with roommates and paying equal share. You just have to be responsible with your money.
I married a woman that had her then 28 year old boy still living with her. We discussed the issue before we married and she said she was working with him to get him out on his own. Now three years later, the boy is still with us, has moved twice with us, lives in the attic and only comes out to go to his job at an auto parts place. He never helps out unless specifically ask by his mother. Anytime I broach the subject of anything about the boy, his mother instantly goes ultra defensive at which point the conversation is over. She has even gone to the point now of saying that he will leave when he is ready. It is destroying our relationship. I have put a timeline on it to be resolved of one year or our marriage WILL end. As I see it, it is more or less a codependency issue between the two of them. I don’t think that it is right that I support the household and can not save even a dollar out of my paychecks while a kid who has never built a life for himself orders $78 collectable soaps, Playstation, and custom food that only he eats all the while living pretty much for free under my roof.
im on ssi for mental disablity. i’m bipolar and incapable of living on my own. tried it several times and i couldnt take care of myself. my sister said i could move in with them and $400 a month i could stay. I make $733 a month and i just can’t see a way to move out and still maintain my health? In your opinion can i stay at my sisters. they themselves tell me that I cant live on my own. by the way i live with 11 other people lol
If a kid is actively in school, I see no problem with them living at home. Not everyone can afford dorms or out of state schools. I am begging my son, who is going to our in state University after graduating high school to stay home while he attends. I don’t want him to go into debt to get an apartment or have to work full time through school. Working full time through school is hard. A part time job and living at home would be better. Then he can save for down payments, furniture, and rent.
I couldn’t just throw my daughter out she’s 20yrs. She needs guidance and support not to be abandoned and stressed. Maybe that’s just me but I could bear for her to be stuck in a grotty apartment with damp and mice because she can’t afford anything better. I am teaching her about Daves baby steps, she has no credit cards or debts . When she’s ready she will go but she just not ready yet. Dave can be a little harsh about adult kids still living at home.
We have to coach them, but they have to be willing to listen. Enabling them to live with you without a plan is counterproductive and it hinders their maturity, confidence in independence, and growth. In some cases, adult kids get comfortable and feel its okay to keep having babies while living at home and being with men who can not financially be responsible for them. It is the parents fault in this case for enabling this behavior. Parents have to get a backbone and change if they want their adult kids to change. I agree with Dave Ramsey. His method works, young unmarried women will think twice before having more kids to pay for and take care of.
I lived with my parents and took care of them until their deaths–Dad in 1999, and Mom 15 years later. We shared expenses. Mom passed when I was 54. It wasn’t that I couldn’t make it without her, but rather, she couldn’t have made it without me. That was 10 years ago, and I’m still going strong as a well adjusted independent woman.
I agree with Dave. Thank god there are parents like him in this world. Making your kids leave the family nest is actually helping them grow emotionally which will contribute to their happiness. This is a loving behaviour. The opposite of this is manipulating your children to think they are not capable to face the world and succeed without the parent’s help. It destroys you emotionally. My parents wanted me to stay with them until they grow old so they’d have someone to care for them when they’re sick. They never once thought of how this might impact my life. Unfortunately they managed to convince my brothers to stay at home in their 30’s . I hope things will change in the future
I’m usually always on the same page as Dave but this is something I’m gonna have to disagree with, I’m currently 25 years old and still living at home, since I got out of high school I’ve been paying my parents rent, and I pay for ALL of my stuff even college so to me is like having roommates but nice ones that I know won’t trash my place don’t get me wrong I’m ready to have my space but I think it’s a case by case situation, and also some cultures the adult kids stay at home until they get married my aunt for example was 33 when she moved out but she still paid rent and ALL her other stuff. But only 3k left to pay off of my debt and then I’m gonna start looking for places to live 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
total rubbish. every ones life is different. im 50 and live with my mum. everything is fine here. i work hard. live my own life. fix the roof. fix the car. mow the lawn. Dave wants us to move out and pay some rich bloke rent when we can keep the money in the family. everyones life is different so live it your own way. im sure Daves kids dont struggle
Jesus! After I finished college I moved back home and lived there until I was almost 30! Of course it didn’t hurt that my parents lived on Park Avenue!. Didn’t leave until my parents bought me a house for my 30th birthday. I don’t think I could put my kids out if they weren’t ready to go. I did what my parents did, when my kids were ready I bought them their first place. After that they could live in it for life or if they were making enough to afford something better they could cash out and use the money towards whatever they wanted. Always slayed me to see these parents putting their kids out the moment they hit 18!
Dave is actually pretty close to right on this one, simply because the variables of behavior enter into th e equation. It may well mean going to a community college, which by the way, is the very best way to complete an undergraduate degree without breaking the budget. Naturally not every situation is the same, but steps taken to adult independence are manifest evidence of true love, not enablement.
I don’t think it’s fair to compare his experience to the caller. But he has a valid point that the adult son or daughter needs to move out to learn how to be responsible. And I agree that there has a be a plan set in place. I feel like most people are not comfortable hearing that truth and they might feel like they are throwing their offspring to the wolves.
I feel like I’m the only person who agrees with Dave. I wish my mom would have let me work my 1st 3 years of college. My GPA was waaaaaaay better off because I was forced to manage my time better. I wish my mom had kicked me out of the house after college when I came back because I threw a year long pity party when I wasn’t working where I wanted to. I gained nearly 100 lbs and have no clue what happened the the money I was making at the time. Once I moved out I HAD to grow up. I love my mom and I don’t want it to seem as though I blame her by any means. We both wish that we had learned our lessons sooner. But things are far better now looking back
I’m not gonna use any bad language. But I agree with the very first thing Dave said. They need to have an exit plan and if they cannot afford an exit plan they need to get their lazy entitlement millennial but out side and work and they need to be gone every day working not at home but working. And if we allow anything less than that the blame is on us. As parents. Anybody else out there?
if min wage was matched to adjust for inflation and the ridiculous cost of living then maybe we would not have as many young adults living at home. It’s not a matter of this generation being lazy but economics. Today’s generation earn 50% less then 50 years ago. In the 1960’s you could afford to buy a house working full time on min wage. Today’s generation can’t even cover rent on min wage. Over the last 4 decades owning a home has turned into a luxury only affordable for the middle class or two low income parents combining there incomes to just slide by if they are lucky. Don’t believe me then I got two words for you “Tiny Homes”
One of the problems is kids today are at least 5 years behind what boomers were at the same age. I did the reverse. I sold my home, moved into an apartment and then I moved out of state, forcing her to accept responsibility and prepare for the future. She decided to live with her mother, then found a place on her own. I think it is all about expectations and forcing adult children to take responsibility for their actions and their future. I expect my daughter to be a very productive member of society and I am expecting a thank you once she is fully mature.
The thing is, you cant say every 22 year old can move out, if your studying a full time course such as a medical degree which is 9-5 monday to friday + needing to actually study and do assignments after this time to get a good grade. Also in a very expensive city such as London or New York which people where even people with high paying jobs even struggle to live. There is no way that person can fit in a job to pay for an appartment or even anything. Even if you get a student loan, this is not enough and the student loan is based on your FAMILY INCOME, and your parents are expected to be giving you additional money on top of the student loan. Universities also promote extremely highly that IF you do want to have a job, it should be 1 day, e.g saturday or 2 night shifts a week and in the past people who do more than this are the people who end up failing. So when i hear people saying your a bum if your above 18 and still live at home. im like shut your mouth, you have 0 facts.
Neighbour. 71 year old male still lives with 95 yo Mom, and never ever will leave home. Mother claims her son will be sick if he doesn’t have dinner every night that she cooks. He answers to his Mom, she answers all the phone calls for him and scans them. They have a very odd relationship. She has nagged him non-stop, he puts up with it. Childish. He lost his job once and rang me and screamed and screamed upset. He lives at home, saves money. I said- “You can find another job, you don’t owe anyone any money, you don’t pay rent or amenities. No kids. Just imagine how a man with 5 kids feels who is paying off a home, school fees, medical expenses, heating bills, vehicle expenses and constant bills, if he is put off work. Other people are doing it harder than you. So stop screaming.”
I completely agree with Dave here. And I’m actually a little surprised to here he didn’t charge his kids rent, but it makes sense because he said they had to have a budget. While my parents didn’t help me develop a budget, I made one and stuck to it and moved out at 24 when I married my wife. 6 years later and life is only getting better!
My step son is a very successful $47-50 hr welder. He went snowboarding and broke his arm. So he’s been home while he recovers. The issue is he’s borrowed money from his dad and mom but goes and buys stupid shit and doesn’t pay his truck payment or phone- But he’s on his moms name- So when he can’t pay it they pay it. But he’s fixing up his boat going out to dinner regularly and his gf comes over dressed like a hoochie and cooks up food I PAY FOR and DOESNT CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN MESSES THEY MAKE! I don’t like one single dish left in my sink. I buy all the food and dog food for his dog and mine and all the vet bills. I’m overwhelmed with the level of BULLSHIT. I left home when I was 16!! Never went back. My step son is 22 and his gf is 23. The disrespect in leaving messes in the kitchen is really pissing me off!!
My parents both moved out when they were 27 years old. My grandparents on both sides paid for all their expenses (Car, College Tuition, Food ect…) while they lived with them. My father ended up flunking out of college and my mother graduated and worked as a nurse for two years before quitting. In short, they wasted the money my grandparents gave them. I’m 22 years old and I’ve been paying for all my expenses (Transportation, Tuition, ect…) except for housing (I still live with my parents). I have two semesters left in the Mechanical Engineering program and I’m at the top of my class with a 3.9 GPA and have multiple jobs offer lined up after graduation. I received multiple merit scholarships and I work two jobs to fund my education. I am currently not in debt as a result of my hard work and my parents allowing me to live with them. Throughout my college endeavors, I have been constantly heckled by parents saying that I’m already supposed to be gone since I’m older than the age of 18. What are your opinions on people who lived with there parent until they were almost 30 years old trying to push their offspring out at 18 years old? I plan on moving out in a couple of months since my job is lined up after graduation. Should I feel guilty for having to live with my parents until 22 years old?
I agree 100%, this is about independence. I hear all the time today that kids are not full grown till 25. I think the way to get the 18 plus kid to grow up fast is have them leave home. Don’t let them stay and pay rent. I also think when they visit they should stay at a motel or friends home. I invited you for Thanksgiving dinner, not an all expenses paid week long vacation with laundry service.
She does not need to move out! I don’t understand this obsession with people like Dave saying everyone has to leave home. Why get rid of your children and force them to spend thousands on rent, wasting money that could be saved for a house one day? Moving back home after university is perfectly normal and many people learn to budget, cook and clean as a student anyway. Charging them rent is outrageous, they are your children not your tenants! In Asian families, children are welcome to stay rent free as long as they need to and it is time that English and Americans took note!
Dave talks about the good old days like back in the bumfuck 60s. The economy was a zillion times better than it is now and people had some friggen sense. We don’t have that today. He’s a very smart man and I love hearing him and I also got out of debt and have saved $$$ because of his principles but he still talks like a loaf of bread is 10 cents where inflation had raised a loaf of bread be 600%. Rent back then was less than $100 where today it’s like $1200 or more.
Yes guys, it’s a cultural thing. With white families, living at home after the age of 19 is crazy. On the other hand, middle eastern and Hispanic communities, children are more likely to live at home until they are married. White households on average are one of the most successful in this country. Maybe we should be listening to what he has to say. Imagine a middle eastern or Hispanic man lives with his parents until he is 28 then gets married. He has never learned to manage his own finances, now you expect him to manage a whole families finances. If you take a look at the U.S Labor Statistic Buero Hispanics on average have tremendously more debt then whites. This defiantly plays a factor.
So I stayed with my parents for a few years after college (while working a full time job). I was also doing my masters at the same time as I was working. After my masters, I had by then found a serious girlfriend. After another year and a half after my masters, I got married and moved out to another state with my wife. I don’t regret the time I stayed with my parents, and at the same time I think I moved out at the right time. I don’t think parents have to broom kids out immediately after college. This is sort of an individualistic modern American thing. In traditional Southern culture, you move out when your parents give you a plot of land next to theirs and you build your own house. It still happens a lot in the town where I’m from. It didn’t happen that way for me because of my wife’s job requiring us to go to Texas, but a more communal life isn’t necessarily bad. It’s common to cultures worldwide. It’s legitimately hard not being around family, and that’s what this individualistic culture brings us. Disconnected families, disconnected communities.
I am moving out this year i am 24 but my step father wants me out now. He hates me. Always pissy and annoyed despite everything i do. I work 30 hours a week, soon getting more work in a few months. I take care of everything of mine and try to do everything in the house. Its never good enough. Moms fine but since he never compliments me, i think she is just saying what i want to hear. I hate his cold, cynical person. No joy.
Moving out in philadelphia as a young adult without a college education will land you in the ghetto. For $800 a month you will be in a crime infested neighborhood, where getting robbed or carjacked a few times a year is normal, and not to mention the massive narcotics problem. Thanks to section 8 inflating the rental market
I gave my oldest son options. Either he went to College, or worked equivalent to full-time. If not, he had to be out by the time he was 25. I gave him 2 years warning. His GF was also living with us half the week. They moved out when he was 25 into a beautiful 2 bedroom condo that they had renovated to their taste. They seem happy. If I didn’t give them the push out, I believe the GF wouldn’t have found true comfort in her soundings. Now they can start their life together.
Can you come talk to my husband…im a step up mom, who stepped into the Mom role and agree with You. But my husband thinks his son should live at home rent free and not be asked to help or respect the house and HES 28…. I need help. It’s causing issues in our marriage and Im being ” a nag” cuz its been over 2 years of this….and our son saved nothing
I’m 29 and l am stuck living with my parents and as a result I’m single, I’m depressed and I have meltdowns, and I get jealous of people younger than me who have moved out. I also have a learning disability which is a big barrier to me moving out! Perhaps the only thing I can do is accept it, and keep my head down and get on with life with my parents exactly as it is, no matter how boring it is!
If you watch ’til debt do us part’, the host of that show often points out that parents who don’t ask for rent teach their kids that a way higher % of their income is disposable than it really is so when they move out they already have bad spending habits. Kicking them out is strictly necessary but making the responsibilities they live with similar to life outside the home IS necessary.
While I agreed with this in 2015, I don’t think the same applies to today. The housing market has gone absolutely insane and it’s getting harder and harder to live independently when you’re a young adult trying to get off your feet before you settle into your long term career. The reality is more and more young adults are going to stay home a little longer until they can build up some savings and as long as they’re hard working and have a plan, there’s no problem. The issue is sitting in comfort with no plans of leaving. If parents have the mentality that their kid is building a rocketship to blast off into life without failure, that should be encouraged, but if they’re taking advantage of their parents and have no incentive to leave, it’s a big problem. Unfortunately, in my circle of people I see both happen pretty regularly now
I play this on repeat for my deadbeat brother who is a deadbeat dad as well. I live with my mom. But only because she’s disabled and can’t afford to live on her own. She’s divorced, and hasn’t got any help from her ex. My mom pays the rent and car insurance. I pay utilities and 80+% of the monthly needs. I am in the process of buying land and a mobile home in the country. Once we own land, my and a trailer, my next goal is to get a camper on that same property untill I can do something different. Problem with that is she was diagnosed with lung cancer less than two weeks ago. I may just be here to take care of her through her final years, months, However it goes. Everyone’s case is different. I’d already be gone if I could afford my own place and to help her. But so far it’s not possible. And it’s looking like she needs live in help now. Idk what to do exactly. But I’m definitely on it
Thank you for your opinion David. I would have to humbly and respectfully disagree. The economy you grew up when you were 19 years old, scientifically and factually is not the same economy we have today. Back when you were 19 or 20 years old, unions were much stronger, working people had a voice, were paid much better and the middle class was much stronger. It was so much easier to move out on your own back then. Today, unions have been crushed, working people don’t have a voice, the middle class has been decimated, the rich get richer because they have the capital to invest and multiply their money while those who work pay more taxes on the work they are paid for than the rich pay on the money their capital makes them. This is the reality many Americans face today. Plus, inflation has taken it’s toll and a lot of the same jobs that enabled Americans to move out on their own in say like the 1970s don’t pay enough now to move out on your own. So, the only realistic way to move out on your own today and have a hope for a future is get a good college education in a field that is in demand and pays well. Employers look at academic achievement when making hiring decisions and a solid education means not attending a diploma mill. And if you are going to earn a degree that is worth anything that means the academics at your college are going to be very tough and demanding. In many cases, you have to attend school full time to graduate in a reasonable amount of time and on top of that going to school full time is more demanding than working a full time job.
When adult children live at home to take advantage of their parents, they absolutely have to leave. If they stay home in order to help their parents out, there is nothing wrong with that. I have worked since I was 16, and started paying bills to help my parents out. As I grew older, and made more money, I started to pay more. Why would I give a landlord $1,500 for rent, when I can give my parents that money instead? Nowadays my parents live with me rent free. Best feeling in the world to be able to provide for them in their adult years. Not every young adult living with their parents is a bum, some of us have been raised right.
Dave is right .we have a whole culture of 30 year olds with the minds of 17 year olds. My friend has a 36 year old son living at home he pays for nothing doesn’t know how to do anything except buy cigarettes and watch articles. I think a lot of single parents feel guilty and make up for it by giving the kid everything except what they need most to learn responsibility
I think he is “tone-deaf” in this topic. What advice would you give for someone who lives in NYC? Where the rent is $2600 for a studio!? Unless your making 80K its hard these days. Most people do roommates in the city but how can you trust other people to live with? I think its different from a young adult living at home doing ‘nothing’, as opposed to a young adult, working, trying to save up, finished school etc.
I’m 46, have a job, rent one half of my duplex out. I’m literally maybe two missed paychecks away from asking to rent a bedroom from my parents. The cost of living has become ridiculous. My income has not come close to keeping up with buying food, gas, 20% increase in property taxes, home insurance through the roof (no claims). This economy is destroying people’s finances.
look there nothing wrong with a grown kid living at home, but if you going to let them do that, THEY HAVE TO PAY rent even if it not a lot say 300 a mouth, but they most save at least 700 or more a mouth. if you make it so they have to work like they live on there own, they can save, 4 years and 60k is a good start to a life.
The issue is that rent, insurance, etc is sky high here in Florida. it’s not uncommon for young adults to live at home for awhile unless they are making 6 figures out of college. When I was growing up you could leave at 18. Also we have a huge hispanic population and the whole family lives together! Grandparents too lol
What should I do? My step daughter has had few jobs in the past and is very prone to lose jobs for whatever reasons…the last job she quit because she didn’t like her manager She’s kinda lazy too, my wife and I have been very patient for the last 8 months of her not finding a job …even at home …We have to be asking her to help her Mom with chores otherwise if we don’t follow up she won’t do them She doesn’t pay rent, doesn’t pay for her bills or food….we provide her with everything I’m thinking of telling her to start finding a room with one of her friends and i will give her $1200 dollars for her to find a small room or something
I take ownership over two trucks a car and a motorcycle my parents were splitting the the bill until this year where they need to get out of debt. They have 40,000 at most to get under control. Mom is asking me to pay for one of the house taxes and I’m giving her my opinion that they should get the other house up and running so one out of the two houses can be set up for rent. I go to school too help with an engineering career or improve the job that I’m in. I admit I do play a article game every other night 4 at most 2 hours. If my folks want me out of the house hopefully they give me a month notice so I can get set up with the next apartment or area of living
So, we let my sister in law stay with us rent free for two years. Third year now and we asked her to find her own place by the end of this year. She comes back with April next year. We said okay thinking she was doing what she was supposed to be. But come to find out, she saved nothing and has been spending all her money. Only now starting to save after we told her she should be. We told her we want rent at 200 but she said cause we asked for 100 more, that she should get a year and a half. Like, how do you deal with a person that doesn’t see how much you’ve already given them and is even asking for more?
I am still living at home and I am in my 40’s. My mom is a widow and we both enjoy each other’s company. I spent time living by myself when I was in college. I also lived a year abroad. I also don’t see anyway to afford housing on my income in northern IL. Many cultures have multiple generations living together in the same household. Our way of doing things in the US is not necessarily the best way.
This man is so right. I’ve read the comments and I can’t believe people think he’s wrong. Adult kids will never become mature adults if we continue to babysit them. These adult kids will never reach true adulthood as long as these modern day parents refuse to have them go out into the world and execute all the disciplines/teachings we have preached and displayed for two decades. C’mon people stop being so soft and ruining our young people.
This is what people in this country do. Not what is practiced in most other countries. My grandmother’s lived with us when I was young, as well as my single aunts. What a callous man. Doesn’t sound very Christian. Jesus didn’t move out until he was 33. When he did move out, I know for a fact it was not because his worldly parents kicked him out.
I personally love the idea of charging your child rent and giving them the money as a jumpstart when they move out! I know how to set a budget but man oh man I just do not stick to it. Saving money for me has never been easy so the idea of pain rent and then getting it for a jumpstart sound incredible
Honestly I love my parents and all but the better question is why don’t you want to leave? Lol I think parents make it to comfortable for kids to where there is no incentive to want to be independent. And all these folks talking about it’s American culture maybe you should take notes. We didn’t become the richest nation in the world by coddling our youth. Hard work and the Protestant work ethic is what fueled our country to success. Anyone over 25 should be able to stand on their own two feet. If you can’t afford your own apartment get a roommate but you have to learn the necessary skills of life and you won’t learn it living at home with your parents.
Let me just say, if you brought your own children into this world, what if you have a disabled child who can’t take care of themselves? What if there’s an emergency in their house, it’s good to have them be independent but to kick them out and that be it is just awful to me! Especially when there’s a mental health crisis after the pandemic, I moved out at 24 with my sister, we had a pest emergency in our apartment and we have to stay at our childhood home for a week, thank God we have the parents that we have because if they wanted to kick us out, and not help us like family is supposed to we would be scrambling to find a hotel in time or be out on the streets for a week. I have a friend who was out on their own from the time that they were 18 years old and let me tell you that their mother has never been there for them and is probably narcissistic (blames and yells at my friend for everything to the point my friend went no contact with their mother for a year) now they ended up living with their mother again after having a mental health crisis after a roommate walked out on them like an assh*le and didn’t pay for their side of the rent. My friend attempted to hurt them self badly and ended up in hospital in my home town the only person who they could contact was their mom and they had to move out of home town to the mom’s new town and stay with her, they say the abuse they are facing is just like when they were in high school, the mom won’t drive my friend back to home town even though they want to get out to the point of wanting to got to a homeless shelter (which I don’t want for them or anyone for that matter).
33 and had to move back in with Mom after 10 years on my own. I’ve tried working 60-70 hours a week I’ve tried eating rice and beans for weeks on end. I’ve tried side business and everything else I can think of. housing is just too expensive. I’m getting married in a year and trying to save for a house is sucking the life out of me. I work 40 hours and run myself crazy trying to run my side business all so I can get nowhere.
My parents and I had a deal. I stayed home living with my parents in my 20’s, so I can look after aged grandmother until she was put in nursing home. Condition was I save money I earn. My parents were able to travel around the world leaving grandma to me. When she was put in nursing home, I left home and found partner to marry and I never went back to my parents home again. Every family situation is different, but you do need planing and stick to it.