A recent study by University of Maryland Sociology Professor Liana Sayer reveals that men are not dirt-blind and can see mess just as well as women. They are less severely penalized for not keeping their spaces neat and tidy. The gap has been studied by scholars of social work, sociology, and psychology, who believe this insight could help heterosexual couples share chores more evenly.
The study suggests that over the same period, the amount of time men spend on housework tripled, primarily from increased time spent doing “core” tasks. According to DePaul University psychology professor Joseph Ferrari, there are two distinct types of people who have a problem completing household chores. Despite the dramatic changes in gender norms in the last few decades, there is one domain where men have steadfastly refused to make tremendous gains: chores.
Wives who are primary breadwinners still do more housework than men, but the gap has narrowed since the 1950s. Men today are much more committed to equality at home, sharing dinner-cooking and diaper-changing duties than in previous generations. However, even in families in patriarchal cultures, men still expect that the vast majority of chores should be done by the wife.
The study suggests that men and women are trained by society to see different possibilities for action when they look at mess in their home. Men do not see mess in the same way as women, and no man will ever do housework which will meet a woman’s standards. Language matters, and men’s work at home isn’t “help”, it’s already their job.
📹 She COMPLAINS Men Don’t Do Chores After Working ALL DAY?!
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Why is my husband so lazy around the house?
To start a conversation with your husband about the situation, start with curiosity. Many people present as lazy due to deeper issues such as depression, hurt, anger, physical, health, and trauma. Being yelled at can worsen the situation and reinforce the voice in their head that they are not good enough. It is up to you to be the voice of hope and encouragement.
Culturality is the key to a long-lasting marriage, as Dr. John Gottman said. Don’t assume you know what your spouse is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask questions about their struggles and feelings. They may not want to talk about it at first, but keep inviting conversation through your questions, actions, and tone of voice.
Ask about your husband in other ways, such as asking them to go out and do fun things together. You can also ask for help around the house instead of trying to put it on them and guilt them. Just ask for help and be the voice of hope and encouragement.
What gender is more happier?
Despite exhibiting greater tendencies to express positive affect and contentment with their lives, women across the globe, including those in Australia and Saudi Arabia, demonstrate a consistent tendency to rate their lives as high or even higher than men in Gallup World Poll surveys conducted between 2005 and 2021.
What is the walkaway wife syndrome?
Walkaway wife syndrome is a condition where a wife becomes emotionally disconnected and dissatisfied with her marriage, often after years of resentment. This decision is not impulsive, but rather a result of feeling neglected and unhappy within the relationship. Identifying warning signs of walkaway wife syndrome can help address the root issues and potentially save the marriage from the same fate. One of the most common signs is a stark emotional withdrawal from the marriage, with the wife feeling distant and disconnected from her partner.
What percentage of men do the dishes?
The U. S. workforce, comprising nearly half of the workforce, still sees gender differences in household responsibilities. Women are primarily responsible for laundry, cleaning, and cooking, while men lead in maintaining the car and doing yardwork. Married or partnered heterosexual couples in the U. S. continue to divide household chores along traditional lines, with women shouldering primary responsibility for laundry, cleaning, and preparing meals.
Men also take the lead in maintaining the car and doing yardwork. Women are also the primary decision-makers in home decor in 62% of households. Although there is more equity in some other tasks, women are more likely than their husbands to care for children, shop for groceries, and wash dishes.
Should men do household chores?
Gender advocates in South Sudan are advocating for husbands to break down negative cultural norms and share housework responsibilities with their wives. They suggest men should commit to doing their share of daily chores, including cooking, cleaning, and taking care of their babies. They urge men to take responsibility for household chores, even when they are not asked, and not wait for a call for help.
What gender cleans the most?
A study involving hundreds of participants found that both men and women find a messy and tidy room equally messy and tidy. On average, men tidy up for 10 minutes daily, while cleaning consumes a third of women’s 1 hour 20 minutes of daily household chores. The study also found that participants held “Jennifer’s” room to a higher standard and were more likely to judge “Jennifer” negatively. This suggests that women bear the burden of cleanliness more intensely than men.
One hypothesis for the observed difference in cleaning times is that women may more strongly anticipate being judged by their peers, especially by other women, which could cause a cycle of prejudice. Alternatively, women may find cleaning less unpleasant or use it as a means of procrastination. Future studies should investigate these questions, as well as confounding factors like work, family, and economic class.
Why do men avoid housework?
In their proposal of the “gendered affordance perception hypothesis,” Dr. McClelland and other philosophers suggest that gendered skills, such as cleaning and grooming, are expected to be more prevalent among girls, thereby influencing their perception of the domestic environment. The argument is made that men, who may not instinctively make decisions about cleaning, can still make them manually.
What to do if your husband doesn’t do chores?
To get your husband to help with household chores, learn about priorities, anticipate roadblocks, create a list of chores each of you hates, agree on a timetable, touch base on a plan each week, keep reevaluating, and hire help. Stress levels in your home can increase when household chores are not allocated fairly. Sharing household responsibilities is among the top three things that make marriage successful, according to a Pew Research Center.
According to marriage consultant Sheri Stritof, couples can divide up household chores by learning about priorities, discussing opinions on home cooked meals vs. quick meals, paying bills, differences in cleaning methods, and making the bed.
By learning about priorities, couples can find a solution that will satisfy both of them. They should also discuss opinions on home cooked meals vs. quick meals, paying bills, differences in cleaning methods, and making the bed. By doing so, they can both understand what each person feels is important and work together to make the most of their shared household responsibilities.
What chores are traditionally male?
Men in heterosexual relationships are often responsible for tasks like home and car repairs, lawn care, and one-and-done tasks like assembling furniture or installing new appliances. They can determine when to complete these tasks, and they don’t have to do them multiple times a day. Even tasks like taking out the trash are more of a once-a-week or couple-times-a-week task. This inflexible workload can make women feel trapped and stressed-out, as they may feel like prisoners of their household routine. Constantly rushing from one task to the next can make women feel trapped, scatterbrained, and stressed-out.
Why do you think that men and boys generally do not do housework?
Housework is often seen as a women’s task, leading men and boys to believe it is not their responsibility. This is due to societal norms, gender roles, lack of skills, and time constraints. Men and boys may feel that doing housework is emasculating or beneath them, as it is often associated with femininity. Some may not have been taught how to do housework or feel confident in their abilities. Time constraints may also prevent them from participating in household chores.
However, it is important to challenge traditional gender norms and encourage men and boys to take on more household responsibilities. This not only promotes equality and respect within the household but also helps individuals develop important life skills and values. Learning how to do housework is an important life skill that everyone should have, regardless of gender. Sharing household responsibilities fosters a sense of teamwork and cooperation within the family.
In conclusion, it is crucial to challenge traditional gender norms and encourage men and boys to take on more household responsibilities to promote equality, respect, and the development of important life skills and values.
Which gender does more chores?
Around 91 of women with children spend at least an hour per day on housework, compared to 30 of men with children. Employed women spend about 2. 3 hours daily on housework, while employed men spend 1. 6 hours. Gender gaps in housework participation are the largest among couples with children, at 62 percent. Research shows that parental role models are the primary mechanism for entrenching gender roles in terms of housework responsibilities, ensuring they pass from one generation to the next, especially from fathers to sons.
The smallest gender gaps in housework participation are among those aged 18-24 years, but only 19 of young men spend an hour on cooking and housework a day, compared to 39 of young women. Adolescent girls and young women do more unpaid work in the childhood home than their male counterparts, and gender roles, divisions, and habits start early.
📹 The truth about which men do the most chores
The findings surprised the researchers: Religious men tackle household tasks like cooking and grocery shopping at even higher …
Wtf?!? Other than when we were first married 28 years ago (and dirt poor), my husband has always been the primary bread winner in our home. And it’s been my JOB to clean the house, take care of our kids, cook dinner, etc. His JOB is to go to work and bring home the resources to take care of our home and family & it’s my JOB to care for our home and children. This doesn’t mean that my husband comes home from work and sits on his a*s for the rest of the night while I bring him a beer and rub his feet, but it DOES mean when he gets home the house is clean, dinner is ready, the laundry is done, and the kids are taken care of. Then we sit down as a FAMILY and eat dinner, talk about our day, laugh, etc…and usually my husband and kids clean up after dinner…not because it’s his job, but because he loves and respects me and wants to be kind. How is this such a difficult concept to grasp for these ladies?!?
Yeah, I just did a 70 hour week away from home and pay all the bills. On the weekend when I’m home, I’m not doing anything. My ex would play article games all week and not do a damn thing and expect me to praise her when she did the dishes once a month. On the weekend I’d vacuum, clean the cats litter box, take out the trash, do the dishes, go grocery shopping and then go back to work for 5-6 days. Well now she’s single, living on welfare in a low income apartment and can hardly afford ramen noodles while I’m out making bank. If you’re a stay at home wife, the house is your job.
Wow these women are delusional!!! I am a stay at home mom. The only “chore” I would say I expect from my husband is playing with the kids when he gets home and showing them attention. Which to me isn’t a chore as so much as just being dad. But when he gets home I do not expect him to do any chores! Sorry NOT SORRY! But as long as I am doing my part at home there should be no chores for him to do! Even down too shoveling the drive way so he can pull in and park when he gets home! I will shovel and get it done before he gets home, times when I haven’t finished by the time he gets there. Then he takes over shoveling and I get to go start dinner so we can eat as a family. He doesn’t mind doing things like that, but as long as I’m here why not start on it and get it done if I can? He went to work all day to provide for our family, the least I can do, is let him come home and relax in PEACE! Get to enjoy his time with his family, and not have any stresses!
Just FYI, prenups get cracked 30-50% of the time. Moreover, this argument that men leave their wives as their wives age is disingenuous and kind of gross. 80-90% of divorces are initiated by women. 97% of alimony is paid to women by men. 86% of child support is paid to women by men. If there is a home in play, women receive possession of that home 90% of the time. This notion women are left financially destitute post divorce is just statistically inaccurate and false!
I’m a stay at home mom with a one year old and I’m also 8months pregnant. I do appreciate all my husband does when he goes out to work to provide Financially in any way our family needs. I do believe as well, that apart from a man providing financially he also needs to be present at home. So although I have clothes done, home clean, children taken care of, animals taken care of, dinner on the stove, and everything stocked in the house. I would still expect my husband to clean up after himself and be present in our children’s life. So don’t throw clothes anywhere you please or leave work things scattered around the house after coming home. He should acknowledge his family when he comes in just as they should acknowledge and love on him when he gets home. So for example a man shouldn’t be completely dismissive on his phone the rest of the night and come out just to eat and disappear again. I love how one women expressed her husband bonds with their children and helps her after a long day by working with them to clean dishes 🎉. When my husband gets home we embrace and talk briefly with one another and our little one before he freshens up. After he will come spend time with our baby, giving me a moment to finish placing dinner out or clean cooking dishes. So I guess what I’m trying to say is a man even working full time May have things he is responsible for at home and that’s ok. It’s a partnership. Each couple has to decide what they are willing to do and work on together and it may not look the same to everyone.
It’s not about chores. Women have been indoctrinated to think that whatever men do around the house is either not enough or not done with the right approach in anticipating her needs. So basically you will never win no matter what you do. To be in a relationship means to forfeit your right to ever have done enough.
My wife and I have 6 kids. When I come home from work, I am almost always still helping around the house, even though my wife is an at-home mom. My wife often feels like I do too much. She consistently compares our relationship experience to her parents. Her father didn’t do any chores when he came home. I always tell her that her parents didn’t have 6 kids. I know that my wife works all day while I am gone. There is just too much to do, and I know that she can’t do it all. I try to help her get some leisure time. Marriage is a wonderful institution, you just need to find your spouse in the right place. My wife an I met at “This is the Place Heritage Park”, so it was obvious for me. 🙂 If you share the same values (I met her at a church function), then you will more than likely be in a good shape.
I haven’t done laundry or dishes in many years. Not. My. job. Even if I tried, my wife would have the sense to take over. She homeschools our daughter and gardens to make our land beautiful. For that, I’ll ensure she’ll never work for another man, corporation, or organization ever again. Likewise, my wife has never changed a tire or oil, greased the tractor, laid gravel on the driveway, dug up a french drain, built an indoor beehive, fixed a broken pipe, built a fence, replaced a shingle, tilled our pasture, felled a tree, replaced a water heater, swept the chimneys, power washed the siding or driveway etc. My wife is a queen and will live a comfortable, happy life that these girls could even fathom how to earn.
Ah yes. This is exactly what happened in my last relationship. I was making really good money and she wasn’t. My work hours were about 12-16 hours per day. Depending on the work orders. She only worked about 6-8. Anyways, she would complain that I didn’t help her around the house after a 12 hour shift. I told her to stay home and that I would Give Her $1000 per week to maintain the house so we wouldn’t argue about it. She refused. “I’m strong and independent. I don’t need to depend on you” Okay fair. So I suggested a maid that would only cost me $300 per week. She refused. “That’s a waste of money when we can do it ourselves”. I tried to explain to her that when I come home, I’m extremely tired and that I need to regain my energy for the next day. She then said “well, I work too! And I can do it!” I told her that her job and mine were completely different. I was on my feet all day or knees if I was in a crawl space. Lifting heavy machinery and doing a lot of work with my physical body. She worked for a dentist office and sat on a chair all day. Then she hit me with the “oh so you don’t think that what I do is equally important?!” I told her she wouldn’t last a month in my career. Finally, I suggested that I stay at home and maintain the house because it was giving us both problems. She said and I quote “We cannot survive on my income alone. YOU MUST WORK!” You cannot win with strong and independent women that work. Just don’t date them. Don’t marry them. Don’t waste your time.
As a women I can only tell you to respect your husband and you will get everything what you want. Respect your husband that he works all day and do everything for him. Then he will do it by himself because he knows you respect him so he will respect you. You are a women who stays at home all day so you have enough time to do so. He is working all day long meint you think he would want to stay at home and spent time with his family? I really feel sad for the men sometimes when I listen to women like them 🥺
As a middle aged man in his 40s It takes ALL WEEKEND to do yard work in the spring . Then once you are done, other neighbors have mulching and hauling and all this other stuff outside in the heat that women do not have to worry about. I am not done with yard work til almost 4 in the afternoon on Saturdays, it never takes a woman 8 hours to clean the house and swiffer the floors.
To the woman that mentioned “thank you for keeping the house clean”, does she then expect women to say thank you to her man for working and providing? Now, I do think both partners should say something every so often to show they do appreciate what their partner is doing, but it’s a two way street. Everybody wants to know they’re appreciated, after all.
woman: “we need to split the housework evenly, i do the dishes once you do the dishes once, i vaccume you vaccume.i dust, you dust” man: “okay so i trim the hedge you trim the hegde, i change the tires on the car you change the tires on the car, i mow the lawn, you mow the lawn, i fix the plumbing, you fix the plumbing” woman: “na thats a men’s job.”
I’m a stay at home mom of four. Expecting my husband to thank me for everything would be weird.. I think we do a good job showing appreciation of each other but I don’t necessarily tell him, “thanks for going to work…” every day. We help each other when we can, especially when it comes to the kids, but for the most part we have the mentality of not putting our individual responsibility on the other person.
It’s depends on what is going on . Eg 3 kids under 6 years old, one of them is a newborn, it’s hard to get stuff done . Agreed, men have enough chores, eg fix the sink, mow the lawn . If you both work, you both come home to child care and chores/ tasks . I’m a wife, a mother and a professional, marriage is not for the weak
If the man’s “job” is to go to work full time to provide for his family, and it’s more than likely that he’s going to take care of things like house, car, and lawn maintenance. The woman, if she’s a SAHM is to take care of the house. That’s her JOB. The trope that women are afraid of divorce is a fallacy when 8/10 divorces are filed by women.
These girls are not wrong. From the perspective of a wife and mom, you want your husband to come home and spend quality time with their children or you, not sit on the couch on their phone until bed time while you hold a fussy baby, and a toddler is at your feet while you’re making dinner. It’s not a hard ask, and will prevent resentment in your marriage. Just be involved and devoted. Everyone is tired. Also, I do agree that a huge issue in the past with women being stay at home moms, was if a marriage was failing or there was DV, lots of women didn’t have a degree or skill to be able to leave the marriage and be able to support their children. I immigrated from Eastern Europe so things are pretty different in the US as far as divorce is handled when it comes to custody/money
In Canada prenups are useless, a judge can literally throw them out of a woman even hints at not liking them or claims they were “under duress” when it was signed even if she was sat in front of a psychologist when signing it to make sure she was not, it does not matter. So if you have assets you want protected, put them in your parents name if you are in good standing with your parents, like your Car, House etc.
If a woman is stay at home, then HEr JOB is the house… He should NOT have to lift a finger if he is paying all the bills. Her slice of being paid is working for her half of the rent/mortgage, her half of the bills, her half of the healthcare costs and others that he is paying for. She does the house to earn her half… EQUALITY. If she is paying some or half of everything, working full time etc, then the house chores should be split evenly to some fairness. These same woman that say opposite are 100% ALL about taking HALF or more of all the wealth… so they want that, and to not work for it? Insane.
I was a stay at home dad for 3 years while my wife worked. If she lifted a fingure at home, i would have been devastated. I baked from scratch and had meals on the table when she came home. I did everything around the house and i alsondidnthe male chores like replace the window and mow the lawn. The other 3 hours a day in my 8 hour day i watched TV or played article games or brewed beer. Being a house parent was the easiest job ever. Women are crazy to want to leave that!
I feel I can speak about this situation as I am a 32 year old husband/father of a new born. Both working full time and both coming home to contribute to house/family. The quote used to be “happy wife happy life.” But the better quote now is “happy spouse happy house.” Communicating, dividing and conquring, not being petty over small things and genuinely showing affection towards each other. Will help any couple to become stronger. Our marriage isn’t perfect, we have our ups and downs but we strive to make it beautiful for each other and our son. I often come home from work and do chores to better our house. You prioritize what’s most important in the moment and what can wait a day or two. She’s does the same as we both work full time and she contributes to both me and our son. Communication is key as we discuss with each other what we would like done or if we need something in particular. We are a unit So remember.. “happy spouse, happy house”
I think this is splitting hairs. If there is something that needs to be done, try to help get it done. Is this a competition or a partnership? My husband runs his own business, and I stay home, take care of the house, and homeschool two kiddos. There are plenty of times where life doesn’t go as planned, and when my husband gets home, he helps out wherever he can. I am not in charge of running his business, but I actually go along with him on certain jobs when I can. I pitch in on things that could easily be seen as not my responsibility, and vice versa. But it doesn’t matter. Help out when and where you can, especially when it comes to your children. Marriage is kind of like a business, so ask yourself how would you expect a business partner to treat you? You know?
I agree it’s horrible for a housewife to expect their hard working husbands to do chores as well when they get home. But it does make sense that you have to be a father and a husband as well. Men should give love and appreciation to your wife and child. Provided that the wife does the same to you, give love and appreciation to each other or at least try.
My wife and i have a very unique but perfect arrangement. My wife works and makes good money at the post office, i am fully medically retired from the military. So i am unable to work but still bring in a really good pension. We have been together 16 years and we got together when I had just joined the military. Just a few comments as a new viewer and perusal a ton of your clips. Relationships ARE NOT FKING “HARD” if you both are chill and love each other there is nothing hard about being together. Relationships are 50/50 or 100/100 some times its 80/20 and everything in between . i have severe spine problems so irs hard to take care of the house but I do what i can and my wife and kids help out. We all help each other out. Being a stay at home parent IS NOT A FKING JOB…i really enjoy it and now both kids are in school all day 5 days a week. One big thing i want to stress to young couples out there on top of ehat ive already said and this goes for both the ladies and gents…if you are stsrting to act stupid and get called out on it…stop, step back and realize you might be acting stupid and be okay with realizing that. Dont get defensive or feel attacked. If you fuck up like saying you’ll do something but forget, dont sweat it, i see so many people get so vent out of shape over every little thing. My body count is 2 and that includes my wife and my wifes body count is 1. Yes we took it for a test drive after dating for quite a while because being sexually compatible is incredibly important, you don’t need to sleep with 20+ people to “find out ehat you like ” you can do that with one person who is opening to exploring as well.
Bro Brian infuriates me more than the women. He’s so soft and never makes a strong effort of making them understand his point. He mentioned Cole Miner once and changed subjects. None of these women have ever worked 60 hours in a week doing a construction job in 120 degree heat on a hot tin roof 80 feet up working on the edge with no harness. They are literally the most ignorant people on earth.
The primary issue that causes chore related resentment is inbalances in the perceived amount of working time and the free time available to each partner. But most of the time the resentment is caused because while they can see their partner taking time off, they do not get the chance to see, and understand the amount of work they do when you are not together. Also, a working spouse usually spends some preparation time and cleanup time and significant travel time in addition to their normal work hours, this fact is easily overlooked. Also, both spouses will usually require some down/rest time between tasks, and after travel. This can cause extra resentment especially when it interferes with one spouses in-prompt-to plans that were waiting on their spouses arrival and help.
I do nothing yet the lawn gets mowed, the sidewalk and driveway get edged, the trash gets taken out, the vehicles get serviced the house gets painted, etc… but I do nothing? When I drove a semi-truck and was on the road 5 to 6 days a week, I worked harder the one or two days I was home each week! But I do nothing?
When my parents where together, my mom was pretty much the same, and overtime she became even worse, honestly she barely did work in the house, we had a maid, two of them actually, my mother just would just do whatever she wanted, and every time, my dad came home from work, my mom would give him a headache, honestly, the happiest part of his day, was when i open the garage doors for him to park the car, he always had smile, when he entered home, all that was gone, eventually my father started going to bars, he would come home and then he would go to bars and play chess and drink beers with his friends, which he does everyday, soon that shifted into, instead of going home, he would just straight up go to the bar after-work, he did not wanted to deal with my mom, that was like his only place to relax, the point of this story is that if you give your husband a headache, he isn’t going to a place where he can numb it out.
With my marriage, i worked hard all day, then i made meals, did laundry, cleaned the house become she was extremely lazy. She couldn’t hold down a job, continual complainer, any kind of intimacy was few and far between, once every couple months. She finally left and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. She’s now dealing with breast cancer. Life is good for me now.
I work 50 hours a week outside in Phoenix, Arizona… i come home to a house trashed, dishes need done, overflowing trash bins, no food for me, kids have been fed crap, wife napping. She tells me she did work… she did one load of laundry *not folded* and cleaned a toilet. I would have done that in less than 30 min… and i proceeded in the next hour 1/2 to do the dishes, trash, pick up the house, vacuum and make dinner.
My parents are boomers, married 50+ years. They BOTH cooked, cleaned. Mom did laundry, dad did yard work and car maintenance. Yard work and taking care of the cars is “a chore”. Oil changes, tire rotations, etc. If these females think they can sit in a house that someone else is paying for, and not do their adult/grownup part in said household, y’all tripping. I want off this planet.
Even if you avoid legal marriage, you could suddenly find that you are defacto married when you suddenly get divorced and need to pay alimony. Happened to a buddy of mine who was in the military and let a female room mate keep living at his place while he was out on duty on the other side of the world. She paid her half of the rent and kept the place from falling apart, so he thought it was all good until he suddenly saw that she was talking half his pay check and owned his house. She had filed for a common law divorce based on her living in the same place for more than one single year. Since he was deployed out of the country, she was able to get it pushed thru while he was away. He had to take her to court to get it all undone. The military gave him a lawyer who specialized in this sort of thing because it is so common.
My husband and I have an 11 year old and an infant. He works full time and has a little part time gig bc we live in ca and the cost of living is disgusting. I am a stay at home mom. I get up before him some days and some days I go to bed after him and my job is around the clock. Between school drop off and pick up, sport drop off and pick up 5 days out of 7 (sometimes 6 days). Not only am I the chauffeur, I am the Cook, the cleaner, the accountant, the secretary, the schedule maker, the person who takes care of any and all errands and random stuff. So guess what?? When he gets home, I’m still working! So after he’s eaten the meal I’ve prepared for him, and taken a minute to gather himself, he will absolutely ask me if I need any help or will just do what he sees needs to be done still. Why? Bc if we both have been working ALL. DAY. LONG. why should I keep working while he gets to just kick up his feet? He knows that neither of us should work more than the other if possible…he’d rather make sure we have time together. He’s considerate. He could either work 15 hours a day and I work 17. Or he could us meet in the middle and work 16 each. Then we have time together. He already has a huge advantage by not having to be solely responsible for keeping a lil human alive. 😂 I love what I do and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But what I do is just as important as what he does. He’s only able to work outside of the home bc of what I do in the home. And I am able to be home with our children ONLY bc what he does.
If you don’t go to work, house chores are yours. Having a relationship with the kids is not chores men have no problem doing that. But taking care of the kids is the stay at home wife’s responsibility. ESPECIALLY, when those kids go to school and you have no real work to do around the house every day while everyone is gone.
I worked 12 hour shifts. My girl was a stay at home parent getting medical pay from the military. I would come home to getting cursed at and being called lazy because I come home to a full sink of dishes and messes. The ignorance is amazing. She still felt she was more valuable then me in the relationship even though the government was funding her. I was in the military also but didn’t have medical issues. I had to continue working. She is now single on her third baby daddy. She has all the statiblity she will ever need and still unhappy. No real man wants what ya say and the men that do want that you will not respect for long.
I’m 40 years old. I have 5 kids with my wife of 20 years. We’ve been together since she was 16. I work full time and my wife has been able to stay home with all of our kids (I live in Santa Barbara County). My work is not done when I get home. My wife does 95% of the stuff for the kids, but when I get home my kids still need and are excited to see their Dad. I help with homework, I build models, I take my older kids where they need to go in the afternoon… I do it out of love…. it’s unrealistic to think that just because a man works and the wife stays home, he has nothing to do at the house….. maybe a lazy guy wouldn’t. But not a man who loves and appreciates his family
Might be an unpopular opinion here, but I gotta say this much. Depending on the situation, let’s say you have 3 or 4 under 5 years old. I don’t think men should be doing any regular chores. Honestly, cooking, laundry, dishes – I agree no- men don’t have to do that. But I think the problem comes in with men who have an easy job in a cubicle that comes home and plays article games all evening. In that case, I think dad can take the kids to the park or something because being a full-time mom isn’t like a 9 to 5 you clock out of. There are nights you are up till midnight or later doing chores after going HARD from the crack of dawn or even 2 am. I am a stay at home and I never expect my husband to do the dishes, but at the same time it’s nice if he spends some time with the little ones having fun just for 5 minutes of a break. Unless you have cared for little kids all day – it really is just as much work or even harder than the day he had. There are exceptions, of course- physical labor work or long hours… But just taking the little tykes for a walk instead of article games or sports is a really great father. They really do need both parents in more ways than just financially.
Being at stay at home mom is a more than full time job, its a 24/7 job that rarely gets breaks from, especially if there are small childern. What I got from these ladies was that they were just frusterated that their partners were refusing to do even small things to help them out here and there. Its not they were saying they expected the man to work a full time job outside the home then come home and do all the chores, they ment they wanted the guy to be willing to do small things like take the trash out, let the dog out to go bathroom or put a lightbulb in for them. They were complaining saying that their male partners refused to do any of that under the pretense of “well I worked 8 hours and pay for everything thus I shouldn’t be expected to do anything else.” Which isn’t fair either, because thats like the man saying to the woman well all the work you did around the house isn’t worth anything to me just because it didn’t bring in any money in… Work is work. Housework is work. Working any other job is work as well. Both should be seen as equal to both involved parties or how the hell is anyone expected to have a happy fullfiling relationship/marriage…
My pride of being a stay at home wife was that I made sure that my MAN, could come home and be at peace!!! Not only that, I tended to the garden, the chores I could do alone, inside and out and FREED THE WEEKEND TO GO HAVE FUN!!! Meals, cleaning, clothing and even taking out the trash! I also care for the cars!!! Because I adored that we had weekends free to go to the Spa, the ocean, the parks, shopping! We do not celebrate traditional holidays, we celebrate our untiy! 19 years married and 25 years as a couple! He married me for my very strong values and I also work from home! Not teaching our children how to be grateful and to organize time!
I found out MOST women don’t treat house work as a job. They take their time and swoop doing stuff which ends up taking more time to do. having little tea parties with other stay at home wives, Gasbagging at pre-school instead of coming home and finishing off the house work My ex decided to take 3 weeks to go on a junket for her work (read sex romp) She TOLD me to take my holidays to look after our three children and she chided me that I would find out just how much she does around the house. Well she was right there, I did find out and wasn’t impressed. I was going to use my holidays to get some renovations done and wasn’t happy. However I obviously had no say in the trip. She was gone 3 weeks and I took my 4 weeks holidays. I set up a work schedule that would allow me to get the children to school, pre-school and kindergarten. I did what I did at work so I could get the maximum done per day. I even got to take the children for ice cream and park 3 days a week for an hour before coming home and cooking dinner and bathing the kids and putting them to bed. I even got quite a bit of renovation done as well. When she got home the kids raved about how much fun they had with me and I showed her exactly what she was doing wrong with housekeeping. I told her she can go to my place of work and I’ll do her;s for another 4 weeks and well see who is working harder She was not a happy camper, she expected to see my frazzled and when I actually showed her the renovations I had done a well, she screamed at me to stop bulling her.
I don’t expect my husband to come home and do chores but neither of us get a break from being parents. The expectation in our home is he comes home and spends time with his daughter while I continue to catch up on household chores. Being a SAHM is not an easy task. It is 24 hours a day. I haven’t slept more than 3 hours at a time in 15 months. Being a mother is a job and a tough one. We don’t get breaks, holidays, nights off, nothing. I also think it is important to discuss the distribution of labor within the home when you have children. These are the expectations we agreed on so they need to be fulfilled.
Every one of these hypotheticals is something they’ve heard or seen on a social media post. None have them have experienced any one of these “scenarios”. Proves women always look at the worst case scenario of a relationship Is this vulnerable position keeping the house, receiving child support, and getting alimony?
BS. I wash the cars, take the garbage out, I change the oil in the cars, put new brakes on the cars, mow the lawn, take the kids to sports practices and grocery shopped, often ran the laundry, cooked on weekends, all while working a job that required from 60 to 80 hours per week. My wife never helped me even once. If I needed a dish I’d have to get a dirty one out of the dishwasher and scrub the dried on food off of it. Her favorite pastime was drinking wine and perusal tv. Estrogen prevents cognitive thinking but does not inhibit speech.
If you bring home the bacon, there are certain things that you are still expected to do when you get home: If the dogs need taken for a walk so they can do their business or they just need let out, then you do that. You take the trash out. You put the kids to bed, they pretty much haven’t seen you all day, so you bond with them at the end of the day their other parent bonds with them at the start of the day. All the other things that need done sometimes, like the lawn, car repairs, home repairs, you do as and when necessary or at the weekends.
As a stay at home mom, the house IS my job. He works, pays the bills and takes care of the cars and we split the yard work. Laundry, thats on me; cooking and dishes, me; education and medical decisions for the kids, me, fix the tailpipe under the kitchen sink, me. The fact that these girls honestly think that men have zero interest or investment in thier children or homelife it ridiculous and clearly speaks to quality of boys they associate with.
I’m a stay at home mom that works one day out of the home. I homeschool 3 kids. Cook most meals but my husband and I work as a team. If something happens and I can’t cook, he cooks. Doesn’t happen often but it does happen occasionally. He comes home for lunch and I fix his lunch mostly. When he comes home from work. He fixes things or plays with the kids. He doesn’t play article games or watch TV since he’s been gone all day and his kids need/want his attention. I do have friends that complain their husband does nothing when he gets off his 9-5. Remember a stay at home mom is usually working longer hours and no sick days.
Not only do I do my own chores, all the cooking, all the cleaning, laundry, dusting, vacuuming etc, I plan projects when I’m off work, growing food, woodworking, project cars, music, as well as making time 5 days a week to work out. That’s called living and taking care of yourself. Before I’d even consider exploring a relationship, I’d make it a point to know enough about that person to know if she’s interested in working within my framework ambitions and aspirations, to fit into my life willingly and eagerly, not to upend and disrupt what I am already doing. And if I entrust her with some of the day-to-day work, will she gladly step up and woman up and do something to grow my brand and benefit us both? I will know that long before I ever even consider a single date.
Imagine being a roofer, working all day in the summer, having to climb up and down a 20ft ladder with sheets of shingles on their shoulder, put up with assholes all day, and then come home and have a woman tell you to vacuum and wash dishes because it was so hard for the woman to change DVDs for the kids.
As a 3rd party bystander in this dynamic, I’m confused as to how to feel about complaints aired on both sides. I work, cook, clean, do dishes every day, bathe the kids, get them ready for bed. My wife works two jobs, she does laundry and probably splits some other cleaning and kid duties on a 60/40 split. We are a team. Dudes probably think I’m crazy. Chicks probably think I’m an alien weirdo. I just see it as there being work to be done. Household shit and the kids are work. No one wants people raising a bunch of bratty degenerates.
I was working for 8-10 hours straight doing mostly physical work laboring and still be expected to come home and clean while the house was still in the same condition when I left. she was home all day with all three kids two of them should of been at school, she did some housework but I was concerned when she invited a male friend to help while I was at work. so no more relationship I guess.
Men mow the yard, fix EVERYTHING that breaks(and everything does break), work on vehicles, kill anything “scary”, unplug toilets and clogged drains(basically any gross or undesirable task), etc. We’re HVAC techs, electricians, plumbers, landscapers and auto mechanics all rolled into one. Plus, some of us have side hustles to earn extra money. If you’re organized enough, you can even make it to your kids soccer or baseball game and help with homework and the dishes. These modern feminists. Wow
I’m a traditional SAHM & my husband is not required to lift a finger when he gets home. If he does any cooking or cleaning it’s because he wants to. It is my duty to take care of the home and our kids. He knows when he comes home the house will be clean, dinner will be ready, and I’m dolled up for him ❤ I do however disagree with the advice to never get married. If you don’t want to get married then fine; but don’t force your horrible beliefs and give trash advice to others. Remember, most happily married couples aren’t on social media.
This is the reason men say the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. Men realize that it’s better to live on their own. It’s cheaper to hire a maid to come once a week than support a woman. Once a man has to take on house chores, like cooking cleaning and laundry, there’s cost to benefit analysis and he will better off just living alone. Women seem to forget that they will have to cook, clean and do laundry if they live alone. But have to pay 100% of their bills too. Women kill their own job and wonder why they get fired.
several possibilities Couples without children (or older couples with adult children) \tBoth work full time \t->> chores are split 50/50 \tOne who stays home\t->> does majority of chores Couples with young children (under 10) \tBoth work full time\t->> chores are split 50/50 \tSAHM \t->> does majority of chores Couples with older children (over 10+) \tOlder children do some chores (help in kitchen, clean their bedroom, etc) \tBoth work full time\t->> remaining chores are split 50/50 \tOne stays home\t\t->> does majority of remaining chores
This may just be my opinion, but: A prenup doesn’t have to be convoluted: eliminate no-fault divorce and specify that as long as neither party is physically or emotionally abusive towards the other then the one initiating the divorce would be leaving with nothing. None of this “i’m bored” or other whimsical reasons for abandoning your spouse and possibly kids.
This was an actually productive conversation. The chores things is BS, but she definitely has a point when it comes to actually appreciating a housewife’s work inside the home. At some point, the vast majority of men just stopped appreciating it, thinking the only work that deserves appreciation is the one that generates money. And that was one of the driving factors of the old school feminism (which was, btw, VERY different from the crap we see today)
Our grandmothers washed clothes by hand. They made bread at home. There stoves were run on wood. It’s never in history been easier to be a stay at home mother. Washing machines, driers, microwaves, freezers, fridges, hot water, chemicals (washing powders, etc) It takes a fraction of the work to be a stay at home mother today, than our grandmothers did in 8 hours. Comparing stay at home mother hood, with a full time modern job providing for 2-4 people…. It’s a joke, just quietly.
Well, doing the dishes etc. is what adults do, besides – it’s just a matter of minutes – so a woman is perfectly capable of doing it herself, guven, that she’d HAVE to to it even if she had NO man, even if she’s working too, let alone if the man earns more than her. Furthermore every man can do the dishes and laundry, but most women can NOT do most of the heavy hauling chores or highly technical, dirty and dangerous chores like landscaping, let alone repair etc.
Haha I do work in a coal mine and have a stay at home mother/wife. Guess what we are I team because I married this person lol. I try to do what I can at home to make her and my family happy. Sometimes it’s coming home and going to bed early so I can wake up and spend time with them, and do small things because I sacrifice a lot of my time with them to provide. Just like my wife sacrifices a lot of her own alone time to take care of things.
I do all the chores except laundry. I work 2 jobs, one for cash and one for the books. If I come home too tired or wiped, my fiance picks up my slack. She has a job, but she doesn’t need to work, but we also don’t have kids right now so she can’t sit at home and be useless. I hit the gym and she doesn’t, I don’t mind doing the chores as I hate sitting down after work or ill pass out. Honestly she’s my backup and if I wanted it to change she’d be up for it.q
She did mean he should do half or more of the chores. When it started to get called out, she realized how ridiculous that is and tried to claim she meant something else…but could not name that something else to save her life because she was LYING. The level of contrarianism and dishonesty of “modern women” knows no limits.
Combining all forms of work inside and outside the home, including commuting to work, men work more. The average man today works 61 hours a week while the average woman works 56 hours a week. Even in 1975 husbands did 53% of the total work whereas wives did 47% of the total work. This does not even include men’s unpaid work as a security guard for the woman they are with. Your job as a man is that every time you are with a woman, any woman, you are obligated to intervene on her behalf if she is attacked. Obligated to the point of getting yourself killed. What does that cost? How much does it pay him?
Here is the other problem is women don’t have to work on house chores as hard as our grandmothers did. Why? Because back then they did not have washers, dish washers and robotic vacuum cleaners. Modern women have the modern conveniences of technology but still complain. Get your passports and move to another country where women are still reasonable. I have no hope for this nation.
Lol. Listen, I just went through that nonsense with my girl. Lol. Caught herself talking crazy about chores, when she worked from home and didn’t pay any bills. She just finished getting the majority of her belongings out of my crib and moving into hers. Now she’s calling and texting like crazy, saying she apologizes for her attitude and not appreciating everything I did and brought to the house. Now she has to cook, clean and do everything she would do at “Home” but lonely as fuck. Do I think she hasn’t had someone “help” her? Negative… But I already gave her back to the Road. If you wanna come through to bend over, cook and clean, you’re more than welcome. Lmao
So on the one hand I agree with the girl, The man should not take “the clean house” for granted, that also implies valuing your partner. Most of the time the Woman would hold the man back in exchange for more family time: As in the man is the workaholic and the woman looks after the kids. They now go on vacation and the man still works why the woman says: No you should not do this.
Kinda of getting tired of hearing unmarried people with no kids talk about how married/family life should be. I have one expectation for my husband after work. To relax and bond with his family. Have I asked for help? Absolutely. When the trash cans where to heavy to drag to the curb. Anything he does around the house is completely up to him and appreciated but not expected.
Men SHOULD also take care of the kids when he gets home from work. The kids is a job that never ends. You DON’T just pop a dvd in to watch your kids for you. Modern women actually take care of kids a lot more than previous generations, even when women are working. My grandma told that back in the day they’d tie the baby to a chair or something to keep the baby “safe” while the mother went out to milk the cows or whatever. My sister is a mother of 2 young children. She’s working 24/7 while her husband works like 6-8 hours, from home. She doesn’t even get to sleep a whole night and I have to go help her take care of the kids just so she gets at least a LITTLE bit of rest during the day. That’s modern men. Selfish.
Yo i’m not saying men shouldn’t do chores and help out, but you’re telling me a man should immediately come home and continue to stress about other things right after he gets off of work? No down time to chill out for 15 minutes and then a switch off for the kids so you can have a break too? Women, do you see WHY men don’t give a fuck about dating anymore? You can’t even compromise on a 15 minute break when we get home.
There is nothing easier than taking care of a house if you do it regularly considering all the appliances we have now i would say it’s about 2 hours of solid work per day, Honestly how is it a lady granted a long time ago but they could clean the house and wash all the clothes and have a meal done everyday at a time with no vacuums, no automatic washer, no dryer nothing. man doing laundry now is throw stuff in add detergent and press a couple buttons and depending the machine we have ones now that will wash and dry your stuff so you don’t even need to hang it out or move it to another machine, we have pyrolytic ovens, induction cook tops, dishwashers you don’t even have to go grocery shopping just look it up online and have it all delivered. The hardest thing to do is yard maintenance but she isn’t doing that the guy is either doing that or paying someone else to do it
Any sane person can assert herself passionately in a discussion, but when she returns home and reflects on her words, she realizes that she made no sense. I hope that woman is like that too. Homework can’t be called a job in fact. Housework is free, unregulated and less coercive. Getting paid at work requires you to notice others’ intentions, provide services that meet other people’s needs, and be criticized when things go wrong, and in the worst case, you have to be kicked out of work. Doing household chores in that situation and at home are completely different things due to the nature of the work.
Seeing how for the vast majority of households, both people are working. Therefore both people should be caring for the place they live in. If the man is a stay at home (yes I know, this is rare) then he should be doing the cooking and cleaning. If the woman is a stay at home, the same is true. If both work equally then on days off both should be taking care of it equally. Work is work, people. Cleaning, cooking and the like have nothing to do with gender.
Bro this is crazy. At the end of a work day a man is done working. A stay at home mom by the end of a work day should have the daily duties done at home. At the end of the work day you both relax. If you don’t have the chores and such done it means you didn’t do anything all day. That man at work all most certainly worked all day, else he’d be fired right? So he has to work all day at work and then take care of the house. Literally makes a house wife in that situation completely useless. He can do it all alone.
In todays economy VERY FEW people can work only 40 hours and support a family. These women have it twisted, if he is supporting a 100% of the financials, he’s working no less than 50 to 60 hours a week. The hardest years for a stay at home mom are when the children aren’t in school. Those years pass and once they are in school for 7 hours a day she has it on easy mode. Most homes can be cleaned in about 2 hours if you don’t destroy them. Cooking dinner can be done in about 30 mins to an hour. That leaves you with 4 hours to do whatever you want and you want to complain about it.
Most housewives don’t mow the grass or clean/ service the cars, they don’t decorate or do heavy DIY jobs around the house, no the husband does those jobs as well as going to work full time. All she is asked to do as a stay at home wife, is to keep the house clean, sort the kids out, and put a meal on the table, do the laundry. You see these modern women these days, all they want to do is sit and file their nails, gossiping on the phone to their girly friends, while the husband works full time and then arrives home only to keep working doing the things that she could have easily done during the day. It is a full time job for her isn’t it applying all the make up that her husband paid for, fake nails/ expensive hairstyles/ fillers/ clothes shoes bags and jewellery, he pays for it all. I am not saying that raising kids is easy, of course not, but it is more than a fair trade given what the husband does.
Traditional housewife here! My husband busts his butt owning his own business and working 10 to 12 hour days and provides for me and our 3 kids. I take care of our kids and our home and bust my butt to make our house a home. BUT he still comes home and takes his work hat off and puts his dad hat on and doesn’t “help” me with OUR children he just steps in as their dad and takes on the responsibilities of being their dad. Everything with our children is 50/50 some days more some days less depending but that’s what a marriage is. There are days where I might be at a 30 so he makes up the 70 and days he might be at a 40 and I make up the 60. I could go on and on. I’m so tired of these young feminist girls who aren’t wives or mothers themselves trying to speak for those of us who are. Are there some men who don’t do jack for their families in the home yeah but there are also some women who literally do nothing but the bare minimum and expect their husbands to come home to a lazy wife and dirty house and be happy. Make it make sense. 🤷♀️
Thankfully my wife isn’t like this woman. My wife gets offended if I start doing something she considers her job. I eat one meal a day and that is mostly provided at my office. I have a uniform at work, so I have very little laundry. The idea that I should be working when I get home would make it much better to be single. Where does Brian find these women?
3:40 dude is either not listening or in this case, does not know what he is talking about. Men SHOULD come home and unexpectedly do chores for his wife, I consider that foreplay! Foreplay starts outside the bedroom. It is not easy running the household, running the kids around, shopping etc. Women end up working longer hours than men once there are children. She has a headache and the kids have been sick all day. When can she call in sick or take a vacation? Women should take care of 95% of the household tasks, but she is a helpmate not a slave. I punched out after that, did not want to waste my time on THIS particular article. Do love the website though.
Whilst no fault divorce exists, don’t get married. Traditional stay at home mums are the worst for screwing men over. Give me a woke feminist who pays her own way over a Christian belle who is dependant on you. Both will screw you over if relationship goes South, the dependant one will get the larger payout where you can loose everything. I say this from bitter experience.
I went to work from 05-20:00 every day and my wife knew that i was tired and she did what she needed to do, i thanked her for dinner and perusal the kids and we would watch tv together and then go to bed. On days off I would fix shit in the house cars etc. Even with her point with the dog I would walk the dog an hour before work so she wouldnt have to. So this most men shit is stupid
I wake up at 4 a.m. and i get home around 5-7 p.m. I’m self employed, I work out in the elements all year long doing laborious work. If i did have a ole lady, she sure a hell better not complain when i get home from working all day about not helping around the house. I can guarantee most if not all women could handle what i do all day long. While i do (being single) wake up, workout, make myself breakfast, shower up and go to work. And once i get home i do the same thing. Have a 20-30 minute nap, have a quick shower (rinse off), workout, make myself dinner. These modern expect so much, yet have such little to offer to a man like me.
The first women about coming home and doing nothing. What she means is she wants the man to come home and do more work when he gets home because she doesn’t want to see him relax. Second women.. Women divorce men +80% of the time. A man likely won’t divorce a women if she is a great mother and wife. The women that are afraid are terrible mothers and wives or know they will be terrible as a mother/wife. Men, don’t get married. Don’t think you can get away with a prenup either, just assume it will be tossed out.
She complains as though a man working 8-12 hour days should be doing chores around the house because (strawman argument) he doesn’t appreciate her. Is she accusing all men in that situation? Another reason, well he should do it because she could be working…that is an entitlement reason not a legit reason. I suspect too many men simp for her that she has no clue about what hard work is and providing entails! If anything, she doesn’t sound appreciative!
Stay at home moms should have the front foyer and the kitchen and the living room clean and the kids ready to play and visit with their dad. Give him a chance to unwind a bit and eat and play. Dad’s are more than happy then to help put the kids to bed Early hopefully and spend some quality time with mom. On the weekends family events and chores like household maintenance or landscaping can and will get done by any decent dad…
It’s a team effort. If the man works all day, the woman should do EVERYTHING at the house. If the man makes the woman also work all day too, then they BOTH need to divide the housework. My friend’s husband wants her to help pay half the bills with him, but he is pika wow at the fact that she’s tired af when she gets home from working all day and can’t do all the cooking and cleaning. And if the man is paying all the bills and working every day, i think he deserves to come home to a beautiful clean loving home with a bomb meal on the table ready for him. Gotta be 50/50, not fair or healthy on someone to do the majority of everything alone
She has a point that women don’t want to buy completely into the traditional role because they feel vulnerable if the marriage falls apart. Then she doesn’t have a career. However, among the college educated women are the ones who filed for divorce over 90% of the time and they still take half of what a man has including his life savings before he even met her. Men are the ones that have the higher risk. If a woman is actually maintaining her role as a homemaker and as feminine and submissive there’s a less than 3% chance that the husband will leave her. I’m not saying everything will be perfect but it’s a false sense of security for a woman to want to have a career. But to be fair to both parties, you have to assume the risk and have the character to stick with it.
After the pandemic i have no sympathy for this. I got laid off and had to the “household chores” for a couple of months and its like 2-3 hours out of a day (less if you tidy up often). The rest of the time i did whatever i wanted. It was awesome compared to having to go to work for 50+ hours a week. If someone is willing to support you totaly, the least you could do is tidy up and make a meal or 2 a day.
Most married women work as well…… most are not stay at home wives/moms. My husband and I both work full time, and I do most of the housework because he has a harder factory job. However, I still don’t think it’s fair to put all household chores on a woman, even if she stays home. Yes, she should do most, but a man can still help a bit around the house. And come on men, let’s be fair and logical…. how often are you really changing a tire, or mowing the lawn? Changing a tire once in a blue moon….. or mowing once every two weeks? And yes, I even help with yard work too.
This is adulthood, stop looking for a thank you for doing basic chores. A deal is a deal, an arrangement like being a stay at home mom and single breadwinner household requires both sides to hold up your end of the bargain. If both sides hold up there end everything should be fine so long as there is good communication and mutual respect for what each partner brings.
Im a master electrician and my wife is assistant DA so she’s actually successful and even she understands there are blue jobs and pink jobs I don’t clean or cook Or laundry my breakfast is waiting before I even wake up and she does this because she married a guy that doesn’t have to call a real man when things break because I’m in the basement all night when our boiler goes out to make sure she has a hot shower in the morning or to mow the lawn and shovel snow and fix the car even tho we can afford to, we have our own parts to play these women are so lazy and entitled 😂 who raised these girls good gawd