Parental differential treatment, where parents treat their children differently based on their sex, can impact the bond between siblings and weaken their bonds. Parents should be aware of this phenomenon and how to prevent it from becoming a factor that weakens their bonds. In some families, certain siblings need more attention or support than others, and parents should discuss why they are approaching siblings differently with their children to avoid any issues.
A new study provides one of the first in-depth analyses at how fathers interact with their children and what it might mean for understanding early gender roles. Parents’ gender stereotypes might explain why some parents do treat their sons and daughters differently and others do not, but this mechanism has yet to be fully understood. Birth order experiences also powerfully impact their relationship with their children, often explaining why parents treat each of their children differently.
Parental differential treatment has been linked to individual well-being and sibling relationship quality in childhood, adolescence, and middle adulthood. People without children are treated differently in their community, which manifests itself in various ways. This bad parenting often turns the golden child into a depressed, anxious, self-absorbed adult and/or societal failure due to the coddling.
The childless live in the same world as the people they are raising, and as such, they have an opinion. They have been taunted but also respected across the ages. Parenthood is the only thing that is permanent and time-consuming, and a childless family is a couple without children. The choice of being childless can be both involuntary and voluntary.
In summary, parental differential treatment can have a significant impact on the bond between siblings and can be prevented by understanding and addressing these issues.
📹 Therapist Reacts to Confessions of Parents Who Regret Having Children
Therapist Reacts to Confessions of Parents Who Regret Having Children // Do you know a parent who regrets having children?
What are the psychological effects of not having a child?
Around 70-80 million couples worldwide are currently infertile, with tens of millions being primary infertile or childless. Involuntary childlessness has significant psychological and psychosomatic effects, particularly on women, leading to distress, increased depression and anxiety levels, lowered self-esteem, feelings of blame and guilt, somatic complaints, and reduced sexual interest. These effects can be clinically serious for a small minority of women and men in the Western world.
Social and cultural consequences are often overlooked in these studies, especially concerning elderly people without children. These individuals often have less social support and a less robust network for independent living compared to those with children. A unique study by Wirtberg and co-workers reported that half of these elderly involuntarily childless women were separated.
Some studies report difficulties in communicating with friends who do have children, with negative remarks and supportive reactions often mentioned. However, it is possible for childless couples to participate in the “world of children”, especially if they have good friends or relatives who have children. They can participate in the lives and activities of their friends and relatives’ children by taking care of them, attending school, music lessons, sports activities, or attending games or shows where the children participate. An early study found that about 10% of couples had chosen this strategy as a way of coming to terms with their childless life.
In the West, childless people are not formally excluded from being involved with raising children.
What is golden child syndrome?
Golden child syndrome refers to a family societal expectation of a child to be exceptional and perfect. This is often influenced by narcissistic parents who view their child as an extension of themselves, creating a toxic environment where they feel unsafe to express their opinions. These parents may have unrealistic or overly ambitious expectations, either explicitly or implicitly, in areas such as academics, sports, or other areas. While there is no clinical definition or diagnosis for golden child syndrome, it is often used to describe a child who is expected to excel in various aspects of life, often without making mistakes.
Do parents treat their kids differently?
Research indicates that parents often treat their sons and daughters differently, with sons receiving more praise, more time, and higher regard for their abilities. Schools can help educate parents on their sub-conscious thinking biases, improving parental self-awareness and reducing negative impacts. Bradley Busch, a Chartered Psychologist and leading expert on Cognitive Science research in education, focuses on translating complex psychological research into accessible and helpful formats.
He has delivered thousands of workshops for educators and students, helping improve their thinking, learning, and performance. Busch is also a prolific writer, co-authoring four books and regularly appearing in publications like The Guardian and The Telegraph.
Why might parents can treat one child differently than another?
Birth order, personality match, genetics, gender, disability, and LGBT+ identity can all contribute to favoritism in families. Firstborn children may receive more attention and praise, while younger children may be treated better due to their need for attention and patience. Personality matches can also be a factor, but overt favoritism can lead to issues. Genetics can favor children who are genetically “theirs” at the expense of stepchildren or adopted children.
Gender can also play a role, with some parents favoring sons over daughters, while others are gentler and more affectionate towards daughters. Disability can also be a factor, with some parents responding harshly to disabled children, while others are kinder to disabled children. Biased parents may be crueler to LGBT+ children.
Kids don’t deserve blame for these factors, and it’s parents’ fault to decide how to treat them based on these factors. Parental moods and mental disorders can also impact treatment, as parents may play favorites more during stressful situations and may act without realizing the harm their behavior is causing their children.
What is it called when a parent treats one child differently?
Parental differential treatment (PDT) is a psychological concept that refers to the way parents treat their children differently from their siblings. Favouritism, which can take various forms, can have long-lasting impacts on a child’s mental health as adults and on family relationships. For example, a mother would serve a special starter of prawn cocktail to her middle brother when he visited, highlighting the importance of PDT in addressing emotional problems.
What are the psychological effects of parental favoritism?
Parental favoritism is a common issue among children, often causing stress, resentment, and confusion. It is not uncommon, with 40% of Americans raised with siblings believing their parents had a favorite child. This behavior can manifest in various ways, such as providing more affection, attention, privileges, or support to one child or withholding it from others. Factors such as birth order and parent self-concept contribute to this dynamic, with the youngest and oldest children most frequently reporting that they were their parents’ favorite child, respectively.
Middle children are the least likely to report feeling like they were the favorite child. Research shows that 40 percent of Americans raised with siblings believe their parents had a favorite child. The effects of this dynamic are complex and varied, making it an important conversation to address.
What is a glass child?
The glass child is a healthy sibling in a family with a disabled or special needs child. They are expected to be healthy and fine, while parental support is squandered on the special needs child, leaving them feeling neglected and alone. Glass children’s childhood experiences can profoundly shape their identity and adult development. They may adopt various behaviors or mentalities to appear “fine” on the surface.
Which child is usually the least favorite?
The majority of Americans, particularly the youngest children, report being their parents’ favorite, with 38% of them reporting this, especially boys. Middle children are less likely to believe they were a favorite, with only 20% believing they were. Men who were the youngest also report being the family favorite, while women who were middle children are less likely to believe they were.
Parental favoritism can have lasting negative effects on relationships, personal self-esteem, and social connections. Americans who grew up in families with a favorite child were less close to their siblings than those who did not. Only 30% of those who believed their parents had a favorite child felt very close to their siblings.
Moreover, Americans are more likely to report having a positive relationship with their parents when they did not perceive them as having a preferred child. Over two-thirds of Americans who say their parents did not have a favorite child report being very or completely satisfied with their relationship, while less than half of those who believe their parents had a favorite report being satisfied. Even those who believe they were the favorite do not report having as close a relationship with their parents as those who do not have a favorite child.
What is the effect of a parent who treats a child badly?
Poor parenting can have long-lasting effects on a child, leading to negative self-perception, low self-esteem, control issues, rebellion against authority figures, increased likelihood of breaking the law, antisocial behaviors, aggression, low resilience, and difficulty forming meaningful relationships. Children raised with negative parenting styles may also display cruelty, disagreeability, threatening behavior, defiance, and property destruction. These effects can persist into adulthood, affecting a child’s overall well-being and development.
Do childfree people regret not having kids?
The majority of childfree people have never had second thoughts, but the 40 who chose to have children may have experienced “cold regret”. According to The History of Emotions blog, regret can have a wistful character, associated with nostalgic reminiscences and bitter-sweet fantasies, or a biting or searing quality, causing mental pain or tears. This phenomenon highlights the unique experiences of those who have chosen to have children.
Are children better off with their biological parents?
The available evidence suggests that children who are raised in low-conflict marriages with both biological parents tend to demonstrate more favorable outcomes than those who are raised in single-, step-, or cohabiting-parent households.
📹 Family therapist explains increasing estrangement between children and parents
Time Magazine recently had a story that more adult children than ever before are estranged from their parents.
Thank you so much for this wonderful article… i am starting the adoption process as i have felt for years that this is my calling. My main fear is to not be able to love the child as much as i love my nephew or to feel like i lost my freedom and regret choosing to serve this wonderful child and despite being a therapist myself and conceptually knowing what you said it was wonderful to hear it in your soothing, realistic and non judgemental voice… thanks again
Having children is one of the greatest blessings I have ever received, but it has been the most challenging thing my husband and I have ever done. Having children is so worth it!! We have four children, and they have helped us to be better people. I have learned so much from each child. Real love is not based only on emotions. Emotions can be deceptive to say the least. Thank you for your honesty and good advice!
My mom had my brother and sister later in life after she had me. I was already a teenager when my brother was born and back then it was a kind of like a requirement for older siblings to help care for the younger ones. Nowadays I really don’t see that. But as a teenager helping to look after a little one, I learn how much effort and time parenting took. It is a serious decision. It can bring you to the brink of insanity lol. I’m nearly 40 and never had a child and I’m perfectly okay with that. I have a nephew and I’m a good aunt and that is enough for me. My brother once said that he remembers me always being around when he needed me when he was little, that meant a lot.
This is so well said! “We take door number one, we take door number two, we take door number three. It’s natural to wonder what the other doors might have held for us. But be careful about fantasizing that grass is always greener. Odds are that these challenges will just be replaced with these challenges. These struggles will just be replaced with these struggles. These struggles will just be replaced with these joys, right? It’ll all just be new stuff. There is no “My life is so great now”. Most of these that I’m reading is people feeling crushed by societal expectations of what it means to be a parent and not giving themselves the permission to just be, to just experience, to just fantasize.”
This article has helped me so much. I’m a single mom to a wild, crazy, rambunctious, and mischievous 3 year old. I love her very much but I don’t like being a parent. I was never an angry person or felt stress until I had her. She’s stubborn, hardheaded, and like things done her way. I find myself constantly worrying about my parenting or having to get onto her so much that I don’t get to enjoy just being around her. I dream of missed opportunities or missed friendships. But I wouldn’t trade her for anything, at the end of it all she’s the best thing that’s happened to me.