To support someone with a chronic illness, it is essential to understand their condition and provide emotional support. Toxic positivity can lead to negative emotions and feelings, so it is crucial to listen to what the other person is saying and not give unsolicited advice. Chronic conditions like high blood pressure, diabetes, or arthritis are common in the United States, affecting 6 in 10 adults. It is important to eat well, stay active, and respect their limitations.
Some ways to support someone with a chronic illness include showing compassion and empathy, not giving unsolicited advice, and providing emotional support. Living with a chronic illness can lead to depression, poor self-esteem, and anxiety, but building genuine friendships, advocating for their needs, and practicing body neutrality can help boost overall well-being.
Organizing your approach to heart disease or any chronic medical problem can help manage pain and provide resources to help manage chronic conditions. Emotional support is available if you are stressed, anxious, or depressed. When caring for someone with a chronic illness, it is important to listen to them and be there for them.
To offer support to someone with a chronic illness, don’t engage in toxic positivity, don’t give unsolicited advice, listen to what they need, ask them what they want or need, research the illness to understand better, avoid ableism, be empathetic, and be their loved one, not just a caregiver.
Carers of people with a chronic or life-limiting illness provide a range of supports, including assistance to navigate health and other services. Three practical ways to offer support are applying the healing power of touch, showing up as a friend or family member, and letting technology be used.
Critical condition management includes positive lifestyle factors like a healthy diet, regular exercise, good sleep, and social support. Make an offer that fits your lifestyle and provide validation by giving your loved one space to open up about their experience.
📹 The physical and emotional hell of living with chronic pain | CHRONIC ILLNESS MOTIVATION
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How to help a sick person emotionally?
To effectively respond to emotional expressions, it is important to encourage open communication with others, such as family, friends, or a healthcare professional. Reassure them that their feelings matter and suggest they consult their doctor if necessary. Offer them time alone daily, suggest enjoyable activities together, and remember that it is normal to feel down or worried. Encourage their involvement in daily activities and social visits. It is also crucial to use good communication skills when responding to emotions. Remember that you are there for them and that their feelings matter.
What not to say to a chronically ill person?
Chronic illnesses are often overlooked by people, as about 6 out of every 10 Americans have a chronic or invisible disease. These diseases include cancer, diabetes, heart disease, chronic lung disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and fibromyalgia. Unless you’re close with the person, you may not know they have a chronic condition. When you find out, you might have questions or want to say something heartfelt to comfort them. Many patients with chronic illness appreciate their friends and loved ones taking interest in their health journey and asking questions if they need information.
However, they don’t want this to become the sole focus of the relationship, as they want to cope with anxiety, depression, stress management, and other mental health issues that often accompany chronic illnesses.
What should you not say to a chronically ill person?
Chronic illnesses are often overlooked by people, as about 6 out of every 10 Americans have a chronic or invisible disease. These diseases include cancer, diabetes, heart disease, chronic lung disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and fibromyalgia. Unless you’re close with the person, you may not know they have a chronic condition. When you find out, you might have questions or want to say something heartfelt to comfort them. Many patients with chronic illness appreciate their friends and loved ones taking interest in their health journey and asking questions if they need information.
However, they don’t want this to become the sole focus of the relationship, as they want to cope with anxiety, depression, stress management, and other mental health issues that often accompany chronic illnesses.
How can someone be empowered to live with a chronic condition?
Goal setting is a powerful tool for individuals living with chronic health conditions. It allows for daily lifestyle and behavioral choices that enhance health, leading to improved self-confidence and readiness to tackle new goals. Some effective goal setting apps include Any Do, Optimized, Evernote, Coach Me, GoalsOnTrack, and StridesApp.
Being gentle with oneself is essential when dealing with chronic health conditions. It’s easy to feel frustrated when you don’t feel like yourself, but learning to fit your illness into your life takes time and patience. This includes testing blood sugar, using an inhaler, and doing rehabilitative exercises after surgery. Ultimately, goal setting can help individuals feel more like themselves and better equipped to manage their health challenges.
How do you comfort a friend with chronic illness?
Accept the situation and keep in touch with your friend during tough times. They may not need your support right now, but it’s important to let them know you’re thinking of them. Sending a text message, phone call, or a traditional note can help them understand your support. If your friend is being cared for by family, let them know you’re there for them. Diane Wright, who cared for her husband Mick through multiple sclerosis, shared how her family and friends were a lifeline for her.
Don’t be afraid to approach their family and be a good friend
to them. Friendship is crucial for our well-being, and some friendships may not last. All we can do is be there for them, be honest with them, and make sure they know we’re there for them.
What is the hardest chronic illness to live with?
Debilitating diseases, such as Alzheimer’s and Dementia, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), Parkinson’s Disease, Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Scleroderma, Cystic Fibrosis, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), and Cerebral Palsy, significantly impact millions of people’s lives. These diseases can affect physical abilities, brain function, and thought processes. People with these diseases face numerous challenges, which can significantly impact their health and finances.
Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) is an autoimmune disease that causes chronic inflammation in joints and organs, affecting 1. 3 million people in America alone. Symptoms can be painful and debilitating, with periods of remission for months or years. Despite the progressive nature of the disease, which leads to joint destruction and physical disability, there is no cure. Over time, treatments have improved, and the prognosis for those with RA has improved. Physicians now better control and prevent flare-ups, allowing patients to live an uninterrupted life.
What are 5 ways someone can take control when living with a chronic disease?
To cope with an illness, it’s essential to learn to manage its physical effects, manage treatments, maintain clear communication with doctors, maintain emotional balance, and maintain confidence. Stress can impact recovery and coping with the illness and treatment. To cope with the new direction of life, there are steps you can take. This page was produced in consultation with and approved by:
How to support a chronically ill partner?
During a health challenge, it is crucial for well spouses to have accurate information about their partner’s condition, treatment, and needs. This information can help them cope better and support their partner in new ways. Research shows that the needs of the well spouse are often overlooked, just when they need the strength to support their partner in new ways. Psychiatrist Susan Lehmann, director of the geriatric psychiatry clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital, recommends strategies to stay strong while being a caregiver.
Listen and share time with your spouse, ensuring they know you love and support them. Listen if they want to talk or spend quiet time together. If possible, keep sharing routines that have been part of your life together, such as watching a movie, morning coffee, or walking the dog. After a serious diagnosis, you both may cherish these everyday traditions more than ever.
What are the 5 lifestyle behaviors to reduce chronic disease?
This study aimed to estimate the clustering of five key health-related behaviors for chronic disease prevention among adults aged 21 years or older in each state and the District of Columbia. Data from the 2013 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS) was used to assess the prevalence of these behaviors among 395, 343 respondents aged 21 years or older. The five behaviors were defined as not smoking, meeting aerobic physical activity recommendations, consuming no alcohol or moderate amounts, maintaining a normal body weight, and obtaining daily sufficient sleep.
The study found that 81. 6 of US adults were current nonsmokers, 63. 9 obtained 7 hours or more sleep per day, 63. 1 reported moderate or no alcohol consumption, 50. 4 met physical activity recommendations, and 32. 5 had a normal BMI. The highest prevalence of engaging in 4 or 5 behaviors was clustered in the Pacific and Rocky Mountain states, while the lowest prevalence was in the southern states and along the Ohio River.
How to help a person with chronic illness?
To support someone with a chronic illness, consider grocery shopping, meal preparation, house cleaning, running errands, yard work, or driving. Be their friend or loved one who listens and let go of expectations. Life is unpredictable, and if someone doesn’t answer messages or commit to events, it’s not because they’re flaky. The best support is continued love and understanding, and trust that they’re doing their best and will return when they feel better.
📹 Multiple Chronic Conditions: A Day in the Life
“Multiple Chronic Conditions: A Day in the Life” centers around the experiences of Mae, a woman with multiple chronic conditions.
I go home each day and cry in pain while getting tea prepared, and it seems no one cares when you say how much pain you are in, or they don’t understand the level of pain. I’ve stopped telling people about my pain, i just withdraw into my own world. It’s depressing, lonely and I feel so sad that I’m not present for my amazing family. I am a shell of myself, being swallowed each day by all consuming pain. Thank you so much for sharing this, I actually feel a little understood and a little less alone. ❤
I don’t have the energy to be cranky or angry anymore, I’m in agony every day, can’t sit to eat,rarely eat, only leave the house to go to doctors appointments or hospitalisations. I’m praying to the universe for healing, if you’re reading this you or a loved one is probably suffering, I’m praying for you.🙏
You are spot on! Diagnosed with Transverse Mylitis, in 10+ pain level 24/7 for 4 years now. Paralyzed from the waist down, so mostly bedridden. I sit on my pain which makes it worse, movement makes it worse. I wish I could walk. It would relieve some of the pain. Have tried so many remedies on both sides…nothing yet. Thank you for putting up your article. You speak for me too…😭
I have chronic pain. I hear you on the everything hurts to doing ok days. Today, I’m tired as hell and hurting so badly. I’ve had 5 back surgeries, spinal stenosis, IBD, and depression/anxiety plus several other things. I listen to books myself to help with pain. It’s mental, emotional and physical. I’m 68, I’ve been dealing with this a long while. I can’t walk far or for long. I do get pain medication. Thank God for my doctor for understanding. Take care.
I know you don’t like talking about this but I want you to know I’ve been desperately trying to find someone who experiences constant pain just to talk about it. I’ve put this article on multiple times when I’m having sciatica flare ups and when I’m crying about it you voice is actually so soothing and I feel less alone. Feeling alone in this is the worst part of it. Living with constant paranoia that I’ll flare up again. But your article helps me so much. I get horrible anxiety attacks and I have thoughts of suicide every once in a while but I’ve continued to play this article when I’m at my darkest moments. I just wish you knew how much this article really means to me. I feel like you’ve saved me mentally so many times
This is the first time I’ve seen you. You may not even get this message, but you’re speaking my truth. I have MS and pain is always there. I check out of my body when the relapses are too much, and I don’t often tell others. If I do voice it, most people are uncomfortable and seem to avoid me. The thing is, most folks don’t even know I have MS. I am learning to be alone, and that’s okay. You have a silent army that…”feels your pain”. ❤
You’ve just explained my life in a nutshell, pain dictates everything. The detaching takes so much energy to coast it that it ends up backing up whereby your always playing catchup to have a decent couple of hours. It’s hard and I feel sad, upset and angry with my body weekly, your doing so well, please stay strong. I get this 100% ✨🌸 I focus on good days, it’s hard.
Right there with you, for ALL of my 59 yrs. (And it’s getting worse as I age: collecting autoimmune diagnoses like Pokémon’s). I HATE the term chronic! It should be called constant. On those rare moments where I’m slightly better, and I do things that are normally a lot for me, like take a shower, I can’t enjoy it cuz I know I’ll pay for the good minutes/hours. So it is constant, just at varying levels. IYKYK. God is my strength and refuge. Prayer is my lifeline. God bless you 🙏
As I’ve suffered with MS for over 42 yrs I understand. I also suffer Fibromyalgia I’m constantly worried about the agony every day. No one understands why as i look so healthy. I’ve felt so low I’ve wished i wasnt here anymore. God bless you and others we are stronger together thankyou for your website 👍❤
I’m 57 and have suffered with chronic back pain every day for over 30 years. I have tried absolutely everything. Surgery, Phsio, palates, acupuncture, every pill from morphine down. Nothing has ever worked and every year it gets a little bit worse. I have been sporty my whole life. I can barely walk now. It’s so overwhelming. I am married with 2 kids who must get bored sick of me moaning about my back. I try not too. Unless you’ve experienced it, people don’t really understand. I have always been a really positive person, but I m not sure how much I can take. Have nothing left to look forward to anymore. It’s such a miserable existence. It has completely ground me down.
Thank you for speaking out on how hard it is to function with chronic pain. I just want to hug you. I feel like I’ve lost myself, and my husband is angry because of a lack of intimacy. I try so hard to let him know he is so important to me. He does deserve more, and I said this to him. Unfortunately, he sought out someone else, my husband still with me, but he is unhappy. I’ve gone through a lot of dark times with little support. I’m never going to stop trying to find answers, and It’s so important to have honest, caring people who understand. I don’t feel so alone.
I have Fibromyalgia. Plus arthritis. But the worst is spine degeneration. My L4 collapsed on my L5 and I am afraid of surgery. I will be 66 soon . I am in bed this afternoon. I wanted to identify with anyone. I had issues at age 48 with a 7 year old daughter and severe fibromyalgia back then. I get it. She told me then how hard it was for her to see younger healthier moms with her friends doing things. It broke my heart. Today she is a very lovely successful 25 year old. She understands today the suffering. My oldest daughter has psoriatic arthritis Fibromyalgia bi polar disorder. She and I talk hours on the phone. We commiserate. I am grateful for 4 wonderful children. But its hard laying here when my laundry needs to get done. ❤ Thanks for sharing. It helps. Your her Mom. There can never be better.
You are not alone. 20+yrs of daily chronic pain. During flare ups I also detach from my body. It’s so overwhelming. Cant work, lost all my social contacts, denied disability. It feels very hopeless at times. I came across your post for some reason. So I am sharing Love and gratitude and strength for everyone here right now❤❤❤
im only 17 and i have pots syndrome and we’re thinking i have gastroparesis too and i’ve been crying all morning because im mourning my dreams i use to have just a few months ago…my dream was to do neurosurgery and be in the medical field but now i keep having days where i cant even keep food down or get out of bed.
I too struggle with chronic heart conditions. Have had a horrible life for the past 10 years resulting in 2 open heart surgeries, stents and many procedures. Somedays are somewhat tolerable but others I would rather just be dead. It’s a constant struggle dealing with these horrific physical chronic symptoms. You are not alone.
I’m so sorry for all of you who are suffering. I was walking in Feb. in my neighborhood. A car/driver didn’t see me and ran into me. The month before that, a heart attack, in March, massive blood clots in my lungs. I know pain. I’m doing ok. I’m just so sad that people have it so much worse than me 😢❤🙏 praying for you all!
Oh my you aren’t alone. I’m in the middle of a 5 hour round trip (passenger) to have testing done to see if I have leaky veins. I have chronic pain. This go around I’ve been in pain for 7 straight days. Can’t wear shoes, use walker but hard to walk. I cry alone too. I’m focusing on my breathing right now. Tylenol & ibuprofen don’t touch this pain. Ankle so very swollen can’t wear shoes. Can’t sit very long. I don’t have a support group but will look for one.
24 years of chronic pain. It is a little easier now that I am in my 50’s, but it was literal hell most of the time when my children were young. Tying to raise & financially support 3 kids alone in chronic pain was a nightmare for me. I couldn’t get a break, and my neck injuries advanced to a serious medical condition. The only relief I get is when I stop using hands and arms, besides exercise and minimal driving. I used to use my feet and legs to pick up kids toy’s, move furniture, etc. & I actually got quite good at it. I think It would be nice for chronic pain patients to have millions of dollars to have pay for childcare, a maid, a cook, and a personal attendant, too. I remember the guilt I felt for not being able to be there for my kids, but they don’t remember much accept that I laid down a lot. I think the guilt was actually grief. I’m grateful that I had my children at a young age against all human advice, because I would not have been able to have any by age 30 and, by far, it was the best experience of my life, pain, or no pain.
Some of the hardest things about chronic pain are…. 1) knowing you are going to pay for whatever you do.#FunNowPayLater 2) not being confident in making future plans 3) knowing that because you do your hair and put on makeup…people don’t believe you are REALLY IN PAIN. 4)hard days…and then a flare up…make life unbearable. PRAYER,music,and Journaling are my life lines.
Hi Charlene! I can completely relate.. I live with chronic daily migraine and chronic body pain, endometriosis, blood flow issues etc.. I know how hard those really hard days are and it is inspiring to see your attitude and your endurance in your health battle.. I know that for me I have to daily focus on the fact that God loves me and that he will use this pain for his plans and purposes.. (like he is using you to encourage other women) …and I have to cry out to him to give me strength that I do not have in myself.. and I also think of the suffering that Jesus willingly endured on the cross for us to take away the punishment for our sins… he went through so much pain for us.. and he knows how to comfort us in our pain.. I have found that resting in him in the pain brings peace and knowing we will be with him one day with no more pain, suffering, tears.. is hope for eternity! Thanks again for sharing the real suffering of chronic pain … I will be praying for you!
I literally just was explaining to my husband my daily chronic pain. I have had this since 2008. I explain it the exact way you do. I detach from my body. I mentally have to escape the over whelming pain with movement. I cry a lot due to pain. I am not depressed. I miss my movement and my former ability and productivity.
I deal with chronic sacrum pain from sacroiliitis and lower back muscle pain, i am 24 and have had suffered from the back pain all my life and tail bone pain since 14. You are not alone and it’s all worth it. Physical therapy has helped with reducing the pain for me, still hurts to sit, lay down, and stand though.❤ My love of God gives me hope.
I can totally relate. I recently developed chronic pain in my face shortly after a tooth extraction (probably due to nerve damage), and my life has been a nightmare I can’t wake up from. I’m also a stay at home dad, and not being able to a part of my children’s lives when when I have flare ups is beyond depressing. Depression, and anxiety run in my family, so I’m also battling that at the moment. To make matters worse, Xanax is the only thing that takes my pain away, and it’s an awful drug to be on. My anxiety is sky high and I can’t sleep without taking sleeping pills that make me feel groggy the next day. How do we get out of this chronic pit of pain and despair? There has to be something better. Another awful element of all this is that no one understands what we go through, and how the physical pain has such an impact on our mood. How do we get out of this??? I do like what you said about how we’ve made it through our hard days, and we can keep doing it. Maybe that’s part of the key.
Ya I’m learning I’ve had all this from a much earlier age. Over 45 years now. I had no clue. I now wake up and wonder what kind of train ran through me when I was sleeping. I like walks as well. I ride a bike. Meditation, modified diet, also help. I think it’s important to share the things that help, as others can try them. I’ve found that inflammation begets inflammation. I have three biology degrees, which help me navigate all this, as my doctor is more interested in getting me into a bed 24 hours a day, paying for meds that just don’t work. So I’ve turned all this into a sport, where I am winning against my doctor.
You are not alone in suffering chronic pain, I am so sorry you’re in pain. You are a warrior, and a mother on top of it! You’re amazing and you’ve inspired me, a 40 year old man, to be more self compassionate especially on high pain days. The unreliability is devistating, I truly hope you find solace each day my friend. Keep thriving!
What i absolutely HATE is all the snake oil salesmen. They just add to the problem because all your loved ones are like “have you tried this? Have you tried that?” And it’s so damn irritating. Just either be here for me or NOT, but quit suggesting things that you think I should do to turn into a kid again. It’s not happening.
I have CFS that manifests as extra strength migraine and vomiting. I spent 3 years in bed just focusing on the next breath. But I found a doctor who wasn’t afraid to prescribe strong narcotics in sufficient quantity that it made a difference. I’m one of the lucky ones. I was in the neuro ICU in December and have had a really bad tension headache every day since then. Ibuprofen or any of the NSAIDS don’t work. I’m now looking at a nerve block surgery. All the yoga, exercise, good posture etc isn’t enough. I feel so connected to other people who suffer with chronic pain. It’s an experience that simply can’t be described in a way that a healthy person could understand. I’m so proud of you doing all that it takes to try to manage your pain. I’m so proud of you taking on the job of being a mom. I couldn’t do it and I regret it. Through all the pain, know that you made the right decision. God bless you and may your pain subside over time. You’re a hero doing what you do. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing great. Kids grow up and begin to understand. She will see what you went through to have her and care for her. Your sacrifices are seen. Rest is so important. Take Magnesium 30 minutes before lights out. Meditate (Eli Bay does great guided meditations). Thank you for reaching out and being so honest
This article made me balls my eyes out because I could relate to this so much. Glad you have such a supportive partner. I am alone in this journey with no support. Can’t talk to my partner or family about because they don’t know what support is. They just know how to trigger me and add on more pain for me instead of being there for me. Having chronic pain and many other health issues and mental health alone really wants my days to end
I have chronical headache and neckpain. I’m fifthteen years old and I’m in constant intense pain and i cant do anything anymore. Nobody gets me and nobody sees me exept for my father, because nobody else I know has experienced something like this. My brother is extremely unsupportive and will get mad at me if I cant do things, because he doesnt get it. I cannot do anything exept watch tv and its making me miserable. Im so hopeless at this point. I want to still believe things can get better but how? I hope hope hope that I will get rid of this and that my life will be livable again, I want to do so much with my life. Im so done with this and some days I feel like I cannot do it anymore, but I dont want to give up. This article means so much to me, i’ve never seen anyone talk about this and i’ve never felt seen like this. It helps me so much to see that there are other people going through a similar thing, knowing i’m not alone. Thank you for opening up.
paused at 1:47 cuz I’m crying with you. This is what I live with on a daily basis. There is not a day when the pain is 1 or 0. It’s always around 3/4 on a “good day” you start feeling productive so you do everything you want to do then BAM. Flare up. There are no good days. It’s only not bad, bad, worse, could be better, etc. I’ve had it since I was little and it seems to worsen as I get older. I’ve tried so many things that worked then lose efficacy and keep exploring… but I am just looking forward to a time when pain will be no more.
Can you speak to the difficulties of dating or marrying someone with a chronic illness? My partner is really loving. But when he is sick, he sometimes turns on me. I think I don’t recognize when he is ill, and that triggers him. I’m trying my best but sometimes I can’t take the beat down. I think it would be better if he told me it’s a high-level pain day. Fyi, he has sickle cell. Its a new relationship. Honestly Im still learning. I forget sometimes when I see him active, because we have such a good time.
I admit it. I only google this topic on my bad days. Only on days when I feel alone, lonely and like no one can understands me, I google this. Just to feel less alone. Just to calm down. Just to remind myself that I’m not crazy, I’m not weak, I’m not bad for having a bad day. In this state we are so sensitive, we feel so small. This is not us. Our thoughts are terrible. We are going through hell. Negativity and self-hatred. The lowest point you can imagine. We are powerless. We learn again and again how to help ourselves. Every time is like the first until we remember how. We lose awareness of ourselves, of the people around us. The brain becomes mush. It’s hard for us, it’s hard for people around to see us like that.. But it passes. It always passes. Thank you for sharing this. More people need to talk about this. I’m not talking about the disease itself and physical pain. We have to talk about the thoughts and feelings that are inside us. This is mental pain, not just physical. This affects not only us but also the environment, the life we build. We are the strongest people. We are the most cheerful people. Most grateful. Our smiles and energy are felt the most. We radiate. And only we know how we got there.. Ps. I am 24. I was diagnosed with Juvenile Arthritis at 7. Although I am in remission, I often struggle with chronic pain❤
Today is mother’s day in the UK and already I’ve cried because just my kids talking I can’t delay with. My toddler wants to climb on me and b my body just hurts. My skin hurts. Feel so low and such a crap parent for always snapping at my kids when I’m so exhausted and in pain. I feel this article so much
Chiming in with a warm gentle hug. I wish we were free of this chokehold of pain. Every day is a challenge and a struggle. Getting the weakest opioids is almost dehumanizing, as we crawl through the hoops and outright humiliating experiences of obtaining them legitimately. I am not a Mom. Way beyond those years but oh I hear you. No one sees us crying in the bathroom, making ugly pain faces, choking down our words lest we be called complainers. I know. Every day is a war day until the light gets in..,just for a moment, or maybe even an hour! As we try wth all our might to make it through. I send you healing thoughts and even better, compassion. 🌹
I have post-COVID daily chronic migraine and it has gotten to the point where every night when I go to bed I pray that I don’t wake up again. The physical pain is one thing but the mental toll it takes on you is way worse. My mental health has gone downhill slowly everyday since this started. The anxiety of worrying when the next attack will come. The inability to do things you once loved. I no longer find joy in anything. I have no energy, I’m irritable, I cry all the time (which makes my migraines worse). I feel so lonely and hopeless. I have isolated myself because nobody understands what I’m going through anyway, plus I don’t want to bring down anyone’s mood while hanging out with friends. I just want this hell to be over with or to at least get a lot better. No treatment I have tried helps. I am trying to get into neuro to try botox for migraine but everyone is backed up due to effects of COVID. I have come to the realization that this may never end and I don’t see how I can go on living this constant pain and no happiness or hope.
YouTube algorithm recommended your article because it probably heard me crying and praying for my pain to go away today, it’s hard to be in a flare. The thing about people suffering from chronic pain is that we share the same jargons and phrases and sentences, it’s so easy to understand someone who is going through the same thing. I hope you are having a reasonably good day. ❤
I suffer chronic pain and i dont ever sleep! I dont go out! I lost every god damn thing i worked my ass off for! I cry for hours! I hide from my family so i dont ruin their days! Im jealous id trade places with you in a second!! I have not been happy in over 15 years! Drs judge me! And dont do a god damn thing to help me!!! I wish i could say what i truly feel., but we don’t have freedom of speech anymore.
I loved the article! Thank you for opening up about this. I have chronic Gerd/ LPR which manifests itself by reflux causing me to have excess mucus, tightening of my throat, coughing, and shortness of breath. When I get my symptoms I feel like there is mucus stuck in my throat and no matter how hard I try I cannot clear it out. I am a Police Officer and have been out of work for 4 months because of this. My last day at work was me being taken to the ER by my partner when I was on shift at 2 am in the morning in September. Since then I have flare ups multiple times a day that are hell on Earth. But I am fighting and I will not stop. Thank you again for sharing your story 🙂
I empathize with you. I suffer from fibromyalgia and an unknown neurodegenerative condition. I have been in pain and agony every day for the last 17 yrs of my life. I get fed up with having to explain to people over and over again the nature of chronic pain. It`s not like a headache or stomach ache, which comes and goes in a short while and you live happily ever after. It is with you 24/7. There is no getting better. I also get fed up with the stupid, hurtful remarks like, ” It`s not that bad”, ” Others have it worse than you” or ” You should take better care of yourself”. However, I have a very loving and supportive wife and a very understanding therapist. Thank you for sharing your personal experience and your positive and encouraging words. I found them helpful. jimmy dee
I find it more difficult to deal with people who don’t understand that the pain varies day-to-day and during the day. It bothers me that people may think I’m faking. I don’t want people to know I’m in pain. I want to be who I was BEFORE the pain. I completely understand “the crash”. I say, “I’ve hit the wall” and my husband knows I need help with every. single. thing.
I have fibromyalgia so I understand your pain, and feel your frustration of trying to just get through the day. I’m struggling everyday because I’m overweight and to exercise hurts and trying to walk hurts. I’ve had 2 failed back surgeries I can’t pick up my grandson. Depression, fatigue, anxiety, muscle weakness, joint pain and migraines just a few of my symptoms. I don’t know what to do I can’t remember anything anymore and my 13 different meds, but we can only uplift each other.
Wow….. this article really hit me straight in the heart. It’s hard to get anybody to understand what you are going through unless you’ve been there. I have three boys that one through dad constantly and I’ve been struggling with psoriatic arthritis for 10 years now and it is the toughest thing .. Congrats to you for staying strong and making it through each day
❤ out to you! I suffer with pain in my lower back. Sometimes I feel the pain throughout my body. I don!t like to complain about this horrible pain to anyone much less to myself. I do pray out loud to God to help me through the very bad days. I saw your article today and actually cried with you. I’m so sorry for your pain. I will now pray for you as well. I have been this way since 2013, from a auto accident. I am blessed to have survi e the crash. I have a 12 year old son who knows when I feel bad. He shouldn’t know about his mamas pain at his age. He is so helpful to me. I guess I’m not alone. There are so many people who struggle with physical pain. We will survive and March on. I thank you for sharing with us, your pain. Stay strong! And know we care!
I suffer from both chronic long term depression (I am a Christian) and I am also plagued with osteoarthritis all over my body, I have bone spurs everywhere. I am also in a family filled with toxic people. I get it. I don’t have children, I placed my son for adoption because I was afraid I would be a horrible mother. He is 33 now. Those of us who deal with this understand.
I can totally empathize with your pain and sadness. Horny living with constant pain is waking up and feeling like my body is being tortured trying to get to the bathroom and feeling like I’m not going to make it because I’m in so much pain. Then when I finally get to the point after taking care of my animals using the restroom and getting myself a cup of coffee I can take my pain medicine and for the next 30 to 45 minutes I wait for the pain medicine to take effect. Once the pain medicine has started to take effect then I feel as if I can start on my daily routine.
Hi Charlene, I am more than grateful to hear your daily struggle with chronic pain. I was diagnosed a couple of months ago with a peptic ulcer, nothing seems to be helping with the pain. I often feel like I’m losing my mind, I feel sad and maybe even sometimes depressed. I do feel alone, but not really after listening to your story. Thank you and thank all of the responders offering their kind words of love and support. Fondly, Edna
I believe you. It sucks!! This has been the past 3 years for me now. I used to workout five days a week. I hate when people tell me ‘oh you need to just go to the gym!’ Like no, I’m not asking you for a cure. I’m telling you what I’m experiencing and why I can’t go out to brunch today. It is tough for us bc we still got adult like a boss! And all alone most times.
my daily life. Omg i would just cry silently in my car. i force myself to go to work and survive, be in fight or flight mode. i cannot function without taking 800 mg ibuprofen. i have osteoarthritis on both hip, fibromyalgia for years and also gets iron infusins every month due to my thalassemia blood 🩸 disorder. i feel you!😢
Hi Lovely I’m with you I suffer with ME and in pain most days, thankfully my children are older now with their own family and at university. But my husband of 20 years couldn’t live with me with this illness knowing there wasn’t a cure and wasn’t prepared to give up his lifestyle which was exceptionally active we both were 😢. I’m a few years down the line and I am now happy and very single still but struggle letting people help but sometimes just feel so desperate and lonely thanks for your vlog it was much needed ♡
I’m with you girl. I have chronic pain and fatigue and it consumes my life. I’ve been on pain medication for so long that it’s not helping much anymore. As I sit here, I’m missing a social get together with friends due to terrible pain while my husband needed to go. I feel worthless to him and my family at times. I see you too. Hugs 🤗
Oh my goodness, I have been in so much pain for so long and never known how to communicate this. I came across your article. Oh My word, you have been able to put into words how I feel daily. I have also recently been diagoised with 2 other chronic illnesses which means I can no longer work, or walk more than a few yards, this has been such a devastating blow to me. Your struggle has hit my heart. You have helped me so much knowing that my feelings are validated, the joy and the anger and the grief of losing who I was. You are a shining star helping people like me and I am not alone and understands the daily struggle. Bless you and I hope you feel better
Not a fan of the ” you’re not alone” saying . It’s supposed to make me feel better to know that other people feel like I do? That’s sad 😢 As I lay on the couch the entire weekend like I do every weekend because I can’t move after working all week, and when I try my back and legs hurt so bad that I barely make it home. Eat take out because I can’t stand long enough to cook, and I’m supposed to feel better because I’m not alone? I hate knowing others are dealing with this 🙁
Sorry for what you’re going through. I feel blessed when I manage to go for a walk but then suffer afterwards. I have to really focus on my surroundings to distract myself from thinking about the pain. I’ve had chronic pain for many years so I can really relate to what you’re saying and feeling. You’re an amazing mum for keeping going..it’s tough and hard when we know our pain is invisible. If people can see visible wounds and scars, they have some sense of knowing you must be in pain but when we look “normal”…My family don’t believe it so that’s really been tough. Thank you for your advice, it’s really helpful ❤ Keep going 🙏
Chronic pain is heartbreaking. My life was going so well until one day I found myself with bladder symptoms. Then that quickly turned into pain In my pelvic floor. All day everyday was pain in my pelvic floor and it stopped me from living. Like the whole world was running away and I was perusal it paralyzed in the dark. After many suicide attempts and cuts on my thighs. I finally found a coping mechanism and happiness. Then 5 months ago, I got a headache and it has not stopped. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong and now my life is spiraling down hill. For 3 years my pelvic floor has killed me, and now I suffer through the torture of these headaches. Im at the point where I believe my life is truly over and I can’t handle anymore. The worst part is that I don’t have a support group and I have had no friends for many years. Im alone and the world wants it that way.
I am so happy I came across this article! I suffer from chronic pain and the flare up’s are literally debilitating!! I cry all the time and I feel down a lot because I have felt so alone. When I talk to people about it, it feels like they don’t understand. I also feel like the doctors don’t take me seriously either. Some people ask me “how can you work like that”? I tell them it’s awful but I have no choice because I don’t have any help! My heart broke to watch you cry like that because I know first hand what that is like. Some days, I just want to give up…….prayers for you love😘🩷
Yes, I have chronic pain, and chronic Lyme disease with many co infections. 31 years old with four kids and idk what I’d do without my husband of 10 years and my hope in Jesus. Knowing Jesus felt all these things on the cross. He’s the only one has experienced this pain. I relate to that with my kids. They have no idea what we’re trying to parent through. God protect them
Thank you for sharing your story. I fell and injured my back three years ago. I’m a yesr post op two spinal fusions. (T &L) I had a Radio-frequency ablation 3 weeks ago. The pain is no better. I’m 71 and wonderbif i will ever feel better. Just fixing something to eat and watering houseplants is all i can manage. I live alone, but have to ser up boundaries on friends calling & visiting.
“I can’t be in my body.” Great statement. I wondered why I am so obsessed with distracting myself – it’s because I cannot be in the moment and the pain. I have long Covid. It also steals away the ability to do a lot of the things you mention. My good days include taking out the trash. That’s not much to live for after 3.5 years. Thank you. I’m just starting to accept that I need to learn how to live with this since my recovery has essentially plateaued.
Thank you all for sharing. You are the strongest people! I’m sitting here crying and I can’t even imagine what its like to live like that for years. I’ve had an accident at work and broke my ankle 7 months ago and I got better really fast and went back to work and tried to stay strong and positive. And from the outside it looks like I’m the same as before again but nobody feels what I feel and that every step I take still hurts and I can handle the pain without painkillers again I can’t even imagine what all of you go through every day. But the last months I just didnt want to take it anymore. It’s the mental burden that makes it hard for me to stay positive at the moment. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel lost with chronic illness and I feel you can’t explain enough to anyone and you just want to do more for others, help and be your old self and can’t understand why our body wont go back to normal so thank you for sharing we will all do it together ❤ i’m so sorry that you have a chronic illness. You are such a wonderful mother wife and inspiration to a lot of people for you to get on camera and share your story with us.
I have chronic sinus congestion, which has completely turned my life upside down. I get terrible sleep, never feel rested, can’t exercise, get headaches all the time, have a very dry throat, and ear pain that makes me feel dizzy. It’s horrible. I take Sudafed everyday as it’s the only thing that helps; but it also causes side effects. To everyone struggling with chronic illness: keep fighting on everyday. Let’s not let ourselves be plunged into the mental darkness that we get tempted to fall into.
I know how you feel😢. I have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, right knee replaced June 2023. Weather in Dallas TX has been cold, rainy, & prolonged. My left knee needs replacement; however, I can’t even consider another surgery. I was rear-ended in Jan. 2023 the collision knocked out teeth on both sides of my mouth. I am a substance abuse counselor & work at a treatment center. Yesterday I worked from 9a-10:30pm. I thank God that I am off work today❤. I love you
I understand completely in regards to trying to make it through the pain with flare ups. God bless. Wishing you well. Glad I found this website. I have been looking for someone in my same situation with chronic pain.😌 It’s very hard pushing myself to do stuff on days I have flareups. I can barely clean the house, bathe, work, or even do my hair. By the time I force myself to do something I am exhausted. It’s the inflammation. It wears the body down not to mention the nerve pain. I have just been trying to make things as easy as possible for myself. And the bad part is my job doesn’t think I have a disability but I feel like this issue is so disabling when I have it. I am finding it’s very hard to work and take care of myself so I don’t know how long I can do it but I am really trying. My job does accomodate me somewhat so I can miss about 7 days a month for flareups and I get 2 extra 10 min breaks a day for stretching. But sometimes it’s not enough. The sitting is not good for my back and my job requires me to sit and talk on the phone and work on a computer. So it’s probably one of the worse jobs someone can do with back pain. I have a stand up desk but it helps very little. I have had back problems since 2020 and working from home. It has been 3 years of hell and I just kept getting worse. But I am just trying to rebuild my back through strength training and I am also doing dry needling, massages and chiropractor visits, and stretching. This all does seem to help. It’s just some days I do get bad flareups where my body is like broken glass and I feel like it wants to fall apart from being so weak.
wow! I know exactly how it feels about having kids and feeling so much pain. I have 3 kids and it’s been so hard lately. I’ve been trying to hear some other stories…I’d like to stay positive despite the pain. So, when I see people just complaining it kills me. It’s nice to see that despite feeling miserable and in a lot of pain…you still manage to put some make up on. When I’m in a flare up I would look much rougher than that. Thanks for the article, you’re a strong woman.
Thank you so much for your article. I really needed it today. I am just coming out of 9 days of excruciating pain. A lot of tears and exhaustion this time. I’ve never thought to even look this up on YouTube and have felt so alone and guilty because working through all these years has been so hard and I hide it but I couldn’t this week and I just went back to bed for 15 hours. The mental impact of the pain is taking it’s toll. Thanks for lwtting me and others know we are not alone and our reactions are consistent with suffering. I miss the vibrant person I used to be.
The pain I can handle. I have learned to live with my limits. What I absolutely CAN NOT continue to do is live with everyone else’s opinion of me. No one TRULY believes me. 30 years on & people still look at me & tell me I have to push through it. THIS is what causes me to want to die. I could NEVER be so dismissive of anyone I loved. I am just over it. Over being looked down upon. Over being made to feel lazy. That’s the worst part. The pain is easy.
Thank you for this and I know it must have been hard to open up like this. You said everything I am feeling. I don’t wish it on anyone but there’s comfort in knowing I’m not alone. I too feel bad when I’m in my darkest moments and it gets too much and somehow I take it out on my kid by getting frustrated. I apologize after but it’s so hard when the pain gets so bad. I am very thankful for the good days. ❤️
I hear you, I feel you. I suffer the same way. I have Chronic Fibromyalgia, CFS, FND, hyperacusis pots symptoms.We need to continue to be strong. I try not to talk about my pain as much, People around me don’t really want to hear. So I keep how I feel in side and it lonely. Invisible conditions don’t get a lot of support. God helps me and my partner.
Thanks Charlene! I get it and appreciate your insight. I’ve been working at being grateful etc but it’s no longer working. I have many chronic illnesses and they are getting worse. Most people don’t understand that we do not get better. It’s just a slow decline. It’s so complicated to explain to others and no one in my life hears me so I no longer talk about it. There’s this term I read about called “invisible Illness”. When u see me I look fine as do u but it’s the complete opposite. I often wonder how my physical appearance would manifest if my appearance was a reflection of my illnesses. My long term relationship fell a part as a result and I truly feel alone and I’m scared. Isolation is my best friend. You’re a courageous person and motivated me to consider doing a article diary on YouTube. My worry is how the people in my life will respond when I talk about my situation and relationships. Well, best wishes and thanks!
God bless you for making this very truthful and honest article. Must have been hard to even share this. I saw the pain in your eyes not only from the pain itself but the fact you can’t be there how you want to be for your child. I don’t have chronic pain but just got a bad limb injury that has involved excruciating pain and got a snippet of what you and the others in the comments have to contend with. No wonder that people end up relying on drugs just to get through a few hours if that. Bless you again and sending you strength for you and your little angel ❤❤❤
I dont have the same pain as you do. I feel fine and normal during the day. Although i couldnt eat much or else my stomach pain would flare up. Which means. Boring meal everyday. Its not bad unless you live in 3rd world country where every food there is intense (mostly spices). If you eat right. Maybe you have slight chances to sleep well without pain. Otherwise. Its the pain would come from 0 to 11 every night it flare up which is almost everyday unable get a sleep even for an hour. Can only sleep at morning which you also cant do because of responsibility. Not counting peers sees you as lazy and sloppy person. Its hell nobody understands.
You are not walking this path alone. I am with you on this journey and your article hit home today❤️ As a fellow mom, I know how hard mom guilt hits when symptoms are worsening and we cannot be fully with our children and other loved ones as we wish. THANK YOU for your openness❤️ Big, gentle hugs to you.
The dark side of chronic pain and illness can cause a person to develop mental anxiety and depression. I’ve had surgery after surgery and over half of the vertebrae in my spine are fused. I’m 57 been at it for 17yrs. The post operative pain on half of those surgeries made me want to put a bullet in my head. I live alone and take care of my 84 yr old mom the best I can. Now the osteoporosis in the spine from the surgeries has led with a neck I can barely turn and now all the muscles in my legs and feet are wasting away due to neurogenic muscle atrophy so painful I can barely walk my feet are shrinking and becoming disfigured. Only thing I can say the only time I’m not in pain is when I sleep. I’ve lost all my friends and even family members aren’t interested in my situation. I found out I can do it alone. R Thank you for sharing this doing this alone can be quite daunting. Good luck to you and it’s great that you share this especially for people just starting on this insidious reward less journey
Thank you for creating this article. I have IBD – UC to be exact and have been in extreme pain for almost 5 years. Day by day i feel worst and I can’t even recognize myself any more. My mental health has decreased due to the extreme pain I am always in. I barely want to eat and that’s rough because i love food deep down. Knowing there’s no cure just treatment medication has made it impossible to be happy long term. I pray you continue to heal and feel better. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone because this is a different beast and it is extremely isolating since others may not feel your pain or ever know what it is like to be in your body.
I have long covid now for two and a half years. Mostly bed ridden for the last year and a half increasingly. This article made me cry because it’s 100% me. I can barely walk my dog most days. And I am so disassociated from all my symptoms. I feel like a zombie. It’s like an awake coma. My apartment is always dirty. My hair is always dirty. My clothes are always dirty. And I wish I could be better for my dog. I’m not suicidal at all but there are days that I want to not exist because the symptoms are so unrelenting and overwhelming.
it’s not a flaw to be overwhelmed by chronic pain, its human. Multiple sources of chronic pain and deep deep fatigue every day here. Often I can’t breathe it’s so bad. You are doing a great job, even when you can’t get off the floor. While we don’t want to burden our children, but we do need to forgive ourselves when we can’t be present (I’m still working on that)
I am at a later stage of chronic pain and illness. It’s known as post impairment syndrome with intractable pain being the worst of any disease. The focus on advil and soft clothes and sleep etc no longer is effective and never was or will be. You avoid mentioning the treatment that is currently under attack wrongly. It gives intractable pain patients on a extremely high level of pain life. Life that average people enjoy daily but keeps intractable pain patients from moving,working, sleeping, eating, reading, driving. Ad infinitum. When prescribed an effective dose and dosage, I can function normally except for walking and can actually sleep and dream and not experience pain. I can drive and work and so can a million other intractable pain patients with multiple comorbidities with the help of opioids, currently under attack as are intractable pain patients. You are the political answer. Opioids are the,😊factual answer to the millions of extremely severe cases of complicated intractable pain.
I’m blessed that my pain comes and goes depending big time on what i eat No gluten, corn, soy, sugar in any form, dairy and seed oils I suffer crippling chronic fatigue and insomnia. 8 years since i could be social. Also got multiple chemical sensitivities so cleaning products in public places and everyone uses dryer sheets. 😢 i miss people but i can’t deal with them anymore. I look fine when im nowhere close to
It was good to hear at the end of your presentation, that you seem to be able to sleep! I am glad for you that at least you can sleep most of the time when you want to. I’m so sorry you have such incredible pain at your young age! All of us listening to you … we hear you! We know well your suffering, and how hard you try because of the love you have for your family, I have so many things I would lime to say to you for your encouragement. I don’t know if you can reply to me, not sure. I’m pretty old and not very computer savvy. Here is a hug for you. 🤗
Thanks I have so much pain after accident 1997 and my body suffers nervpain polyneuropati bones vertebr i my neck and back… I know how it feels to want to do many things and next day its like hell every bone feels like burning and if i could take a step out of my body because i cant be in bed no walk no stand up no sit down. So I feel the pain whit you everybody its so so hard. But i am thankful that i can walk not so long walk but anyway feels god All the best to you ❤❤
Wow you have spoken so well for us with Chronic illness. I’m so sorry your speaking these words but your speaking as a warrior and your helping so much people. I can see the pain in your eyes. Thank you for seeing us. Lots of love to you and your family. We certainly appreciate the little things in life. Xx
I guess the hardest part for me is the constant adaptation to whatever my body decides to do on a certain day or moment. Recently I got a cane. One that can be folded, much like the ones blind people use. I carry it in my daily bag. It gives me the peace of mind that, if something happens while I’m out of the house, while I’m in a different situation, I can still hold on to my independence to a certain level. I realised the time had come when one day I had to borrow a bigger umbrella to serve as a cane to go back home. That was a hard moment. It kind of downed on me “okay, new thing on the horizon”.
This is the first article I’ve ever watched of someone talking about this reality that I too live in. I’m about to be 28 and I don’t remember a single day without pain. I feel like a 60/70 yo and it’s just getting worse. I just started a new job (in my chosen field as a baker) and although my coworkers have been helpful (had to finally say I have a weight lifting limit- can’t push thru anymore), I know how much I am still hiding and how much I push. I watched a girl smaller than me easily carry a 50 lb. bag of flour on Friday and it just hit me hard. I go to work and come home in so much pain everyday. Not an easy career for someone with chronic pain but I’d rather do something I love than die inside looking at a screen all day. Having chronic illness is depressing enough. Sleep isn’t even comfy or restorative most of the time, just an escape for a while. My mom is ill in the same way, but other than her I often feel completely alone. Thanks for sharing your struggles 🤍
2 and 4 year old boys and i live with fibromyalgia cfs mcs degenerative disc disease osteoarthritis scoliosis and a list of other things im still trying to figure out…its so hard some days. I was ok missing out on stuff for myself..but havings kids,its so hard some days. 😓we dont have a yard and i really wish we did for the hardest days for my boys. It makes me feel like a failure. Also. My 4 year old is autistic (figuring out i could be too and my hubby ) hubby also deals with chronic migraines. I’m glad we understand each other ❤️
My husband has chronic pain. For many years he was doing better as we had a doctor who helped him. Due to the systemic marginalization of people who depend on pain medication that situation changed. He was abandoned by his doctor and all medical facilities now refuse him care unless he allows them to basically enslave him and torture him until the end of his life. So we are forced to live in Mexico at least part of the year in order to get access to ethical healthcare. It has made a very bad situation a lot worse for us.
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. I’m perusal your article. I live that too one minute up one minute down I’m 67 now and this has been going on since the 1990s. I’m on so many medication’s auto immune immune suppressant Norco gabapentin, muscle relaxant, etc., I’ll be honest when you talk about the pain. I am so grateful that I have these medication‘s because when I didn’t, it was so much harder to get through. I’m always there with everybody with a smile and some kindness and some love the Lord talk. So I don’t show it to everyone. I tend to crawl in the closet when it’s that bad. I hope you think about taking some medication that will balance it out. I have scleroderma And RA. Arthritis through my whole body. So many parts of my body that are breaking down the caused pain. So when one lets up a little, the other comes down and the flares fibromyalgia. I just believe that being a witness for the Lord means being able to take what you have day by day and learn from it and lessen your expectations and grieve your old self, but don’t stay there. It was beautiful perusal you take a walk. I’m not able to do that. But what I can do is what I can do and each day is a new day. I love your attitude and I know that it will bring you comfort during the hard times. Bless your heart, sweetie, I think you’ve really helped a lot of people with this. Big love hugs
I too have very big problem and iam still in my 20s not only me but im giving a huge troubles to my family as well but through christ my life have been extending till tody but what is the use of living when you cannot do a thing even people with good health have hard ti survive but its challenging to have health issues like a vegetable can think,can see, hear barely walk its so useless and i cant do it anymore but the most important thing is dying at the side of christ is the and beautiful thing in life may our lord give strength to all the people with healing in spirit and in flesh through christ amen
I have Crps . Im living on my own. Everything you mentioned is exactly like my story. The pain changed me so much. I used to be people person, laughing, bubbly…but i lost it all. Im quite isolated bc is better for me,my limited energy. I also have crashes when energy appears i think i will turn my life around! …hour later im mess in bed can’t move or talk. I learned not to do it but that false energy makes me want to live again. Its a joke. Not possible! I tried all,its been 11 years debilitating, burning pain 24/7.. one step forward 5 backwards. Thanks for your article,all the best. Look after yourself
It’s hard to be having a hard day, look the internet for those who can relate, and all you see are the ones talking about what makes them better, how you can get better, etc. When you’re in a place of not being able to do those things because of the pain, it just makes us feel worse and guilty, and like we’re not trying. So thank you for posting the dark side. Going through it now😢