Single parents often need support to help their children develop well. This support can come from family, friends, communities, colleagues, professionals, evidence-based websites, and helplines. It is important to accept the difficult person as they are and not try to fix them. If you are single parenting due to separation or divorce, it is crucial to ensure your child knows that both parents still love them and that the separation is temporary.
To support single parents, you can help them connect with their children by spending quality time and building trust. Listening to your loved one’s pain and offering support physically and emotionally can build a secure and loving family. Practice being kind and gentle with yourself and keep your self-talk positive. If you don’t have anyone to turn to, start building up your network by joining the PTA at your child’s school or talking to the parent you always see at.
Support for parents can include practical, emotional, or personal support, and information or advice. Friends provide a sense of belonging, support, and encouragement, helping parents through tough times and celebrating the happy moments. Building and maintaining a familial support system is essential for your family’s health.
- Provide supplemental funds to families, such as temporary increases to the foster care rate or adoption or guardianship subsidy.
- Be creative and build a support system full of positive, creative, and loving people. You can pray for them, be available and listen to their worries and questions, and offer well-thought-out advice as long as you are available.
In summary, single parents need support to help their children develop well and manage their finances effectively. By being kind, gentle, and providing support, they can create a strong and supportive family environment.
📹 5 Tips for Dealing with an Alcoholic Parent or Family Member
I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos! #katimorton #therapist #therapy MY BOOKS (in stores now) …
How do you support parents?
When supporting a struggling parent, it is important to avoid blocking communication, listen openly with empathy, only give advice when asked, and offer advice with “You could try” instead of “You should”. It is crucial not to be a know-it-all and to offer advice with “You could try” rather than “You should”. This can help the parent shift their perspective and show compassion for their stepdaughter’s situation.
It is common for parents to be judgmental, but this can be unhelpful for the person being judged. By helping the parent shift their perspective and encourage more flexible thinking, the best way to support a struggling parent is to help them develop compassion for their stepdaughter’s feelings.
How do you handle an argument with a parent?
The article advises resolving conflicts between parents by considering the reasons for the argument, admitting mistakes, apologizing, talking to parents, and showing respect. It emphasizes that even the most calm, well-behaved, and happy individuals may have conflicts with their parents. It suggests that it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong, but rather a difference of opinion on a certain matter that has led to the argument. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and respecting parents’ perspectives in resolving conflicts.
How do you reverse the effects of bad parenting?
Bad parenting can have lasting effects on an individual into adulthood, as illustrated by the book “I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jennette McCurdy. McCurdy shares her experiences of unstable, abusive, and violent home life, leading to issues like bulimia, alcohol dependency, and identity issues. Despite the challenges, it is never too late to start the healing process.
To cope with the effects of bad parenting, one can learn to let go of toxic connections and embrace a positive outlook on life. The Power of Letting Go suggests that life opens up more opportunities for positivity and happiness once negative experiences are put behind us. It is essential to learn to let go of toxic connections, even if it means loving your parents if they cause pain. This process can help individuals gain a better understanding of their past trauma and develop healthier ways to cope with their challenges.
How do you comfort someone who has mother issues?
To support a mother’s healing journey, validate their feelings by acknowledging their pain and complexity, offering reassurance, and encouraging them to seek professional help. Emphasize the importance of therapy and the time-bound nature of healing. Offer support and presence as they navigate their journey towards self-discovery. Treating “mommy issues” typically involves a combination of therapeutic approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and coping mechanisms. These approaches can help build healthier relationships and improve overall well-being.
How can we support our family?
It is recommended that individuals engage in activities that promote mental health and encourage open dialogue about personal experiences. Promoting positive lifestyle choices, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, and engaging in enjoyable activities, can also contribute to mental wellbeing. Demonstrate your affection for them, even if they are reluctant to acknowledge it, as it is likely a significant source of support for them.
How to support someone with a sick parent?
It is essential to acknowledge the situation, demonstrate understanding, share personal experiences, anticipate potential missteps, maintain communication, refrain from making assumptions, offer tangible assistance, and extend invitations.
What are the three 3 basic needs of a family?
The basic needs approach is a significant method for measuring poverty in developing countries, focusing on the minimum resources needed for long-term physical well-being. This approach was introduced by the International Labour Organization’s World Employment Conference in 1976, which aimed to satisfy basic human needs as the primary objective of national and international development policy. The approach was endorsed by governments, workers’ and employers’ organizations worldwide, and influenced the programs and policies of major multilateral and bilateral development agencies.
The traditional list of immediate “basic needs” includes food, water, shelter, and clothing. Modern lists emphasize the minimum level of consumption of these needs, including transportation, sanitation, education, and healthcare. Different agencies use different lists, and the basic needs approach has been described as consumption-oriented, suggesting that poverty elimination is easy. However, Amartya Sen emphasized the importance of focusing on “capabilities” rather than consumption.
How to comfort someone who has family problems?
During a difficult time, it is essential to be there for your friend, listen attentively, and encourage them to seek help from a safe adult. If they are worried about telling an adult, offer to support them. Be there when they call child protection or emergency services. Reach out if they haven’t told you anything, asking about specific incidents or how things are going at home. Believe in your friend’s honesty and check in to see how they’re doing.
Engage in activities that take their mind off the tough stuff for a while, such as having a chat or playing online games together. Take care of yourself, as supporting a friend is hard work, and you may need to talk to someone like a guidance counselor or other safe adult. This information can be useful in your life and can be found on Kids Help Phone.
How do you support families?
Strengthening families is a crucial approach to prevent child abuse. There are 50+ ways to help families, including offering baby-sitting, being a listening ear for struggling neighbors, coordinating meal sign-up calendars, organizing block parties, starting or participating in carpools, increasing social connections, getting to know neighborhood children, asking for help when needed, running errands, inviting families for dinner, donating children’s used clothing, furniture, and toys, posting Colorado early learning and development guideline videos on social media, raising awareness of child safety issues, organizing moms’ or dads’ nights out, putting children’s books in lobby and waiting areas, scheduling family events, adding family-friendly resources on neighborhood websites like Nextdoor, reminding people it’s okay to ask for help, hosting play groups at local recreation or community centers, collaborating with childcare centers and schools, recognizing children or families in distress, providing parenting education classes, and connecting parents to one another and important resources for support. By doing these things, families can work together to create a safer environment for their children and contribute to preventing child abuse.
What to do when parents disagree on parenting?
Parents often struggle with differing parenting styles, which can lead to compromise. This often involves testing one parent’s idea first, and if it doesn’t work for the child, then testing another. In a good marriage or divorce, having different parenting styles isn’t a bad thing. However, most couples will have disagreements on how to approach parenting. It’s important to present a united front and disagree behind closed doors.
This becomes especially challenging when parents develop extreme differences in their parenting approaches, especially when the child is struggling with a psychiatric diagnosis or learning disability. The parents’ ability to reach an agreement can be crucial in determining successful treatment or allowing the child to interpret the confusing signals they receive from their parents.
How do you help your family parents?
To enhance your parents’ mental well-being, show empathy and active listening, encourage self-care activities, encourage socialization, spend quality time with them, offer practical support, express gratitude, foster a healthy lifestyle, and seek professional help if needed. As they age, they may need to depend on others and may be at an increased risk of mental health issues like anxiety, depression, or dementia. Taking time to understand their experiences and offering solutions can help them feel supported and ensure they are hale and hearty.
Dr. R C Jiloha, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist at Paras Health, Gurugram, emphasizes the importance of supporting their mental health as they age. By practicing empathy, encouraging self-care, providing practical support, fostering social connections, promoting a healthy lifestyle, and considering professional help if needed, you can contribute to their overall happiness and quality of life. By doing so, you can contribute to their overall happiness and quality of life.
📹 Family Engagement Framework: How to Share Data with Parents, Families, and Students
How are you engaging families in their students’ data? Your family engagement strategy may benefit from this 3 part framework for …
My dad is also an alcoholic and a very religious christian. Everytime my dad is drunk he becomes emotionally abusive towards my mum and me because we do not think the same way he does. I can not stand it anymore. Alcohol is such an ugly drug and it often brings the worst behaviour out of so many people or destroys whole families. For everybody that is feeling the same way I wish yall good luck and hope that it will get better for each one of us.
my mum was a really bad alcoholic when I was growing up and it was the worst thing ever. I feel so sorry for anybody who is going through this. I just wanted to add some advice from my personal experience if that’s OK? you should be careful about who you tell especially if your parent(s) can act normal because lots of people will think you are lying or exaggerating. try to get to a support group or therapy, you need to be around people who understand or have experience. also, just try to stay away from them, go out with friends or join groups and clubs if you need to get out of the house. don’t believe them when they say they will stop drinking because alcoholics lie all the time! you will get hurt if you believe them too much. I’m not saying don’t support them but just don’t get too invested in their recovery, take it with a pinch of salt. don’t expect them to behave like normal people with normal morals, they are sick and if you expect them to act like a good parent you will get hurt. Try to have a life and hobbies and friends away from them and just get on with your own life as much as possible. nothing you do or say will make them stop drinking and if you try to make them stop it will be torture for you. they will recover in they’re own time.
I wish I had this article about 16-17 years ago when I started really becoming affected by my dad’s drinking. He was really emotionally abusive and would often make me cry and then laugh at me or yell at me for crying. He always used to tell me that it was my fault and that I was the reason that he drank. (Keep in mind I was like 5 or 6.) He hasn’t gotten any better (he’s gotten worse) but over the years I’ve at least learned (somewhat) not to take it personally. I’ve at least gotten one good thing out of it! Now I know the person that I don’t want to become and I have zero temptation to go out and drink. The last time I drank (and got drunk) was when I was 17 and a senior in high school.
My paternal grandmother was alcoholic. She stayed with us briefly when I was 10. Once I got off the school bus and walked in the house. My parents were still at work. Instead of “hi how was your day”, she says, “go get me a beer.” I was a quiet kid and at that moment, I snapped. I opened the can of beer and poured it over her head. She said I was a little bitch just like my mother. Yes I am, proudly.
Al-anon is good, but alcoholics tend to attend as well, which I find inappropriate. The best strategy for dealing with the alcoholic is to move away, like the other side of the country. Once the alcoholic can’t directly influence you on a day to day basis, get the help you need. Find friends who aren’t from alcoholic households so you can relearn normal. Remember, alcoholism is the alcoholic’s illness, not yours, so don’t try to fix them.
Hi, I’m 13 years old and my dad is an alcoholic he is drinking every single day. My mom tries to tell him that this is not right and that our family is destroyed because of alcohol but he just cares about himself. I go to therapy because I cut, he knows it’s because of him but he just cares about himself. I’m from Hungary and we moved to Ireland 2 years ago and I’m so scared that we have to go back to Hungary because I love to live here. We have no other family members out here so we are alone. He doesn’t listen to anyone, not his mom, not his dad, not me…no one. Today he came home drunk and I mentioned it to him that this is really bad and stuff and he nearly punched me. Please give me some advice
How do I help my dad? My Mum has told my Dad to either get the help that he needs or she’s leaving and taking me and my brother with her. I’m only 15 and I don’t want my family to fall apart. He had 12 cans and a bottle of vodka the other night and the next day when I begged my dad to get help he just told me he doesn’t have a problem. What do I do?
I’m a 25 year old female and my mother has become an alcoholic.she was clean while I grew up. Actually she HATED alcohol so much because of her father and brothers being alcoholics when she was growing up. She married an alcoholic when I was 3 and helped him become sober. 20 years later and I moved back in with my mom stepdad, 18 year old brother and 12 year old twin sisters and it was a huge slap in the face. My mom and her than husband (the father of her 3 other kids) fought every night. Slamming doors, screaming, throwing dishes. It was terrible. My mom also seemed really distant when I’d see her (which wasn’t a lot between me working, her working and running around with the kids.) and it made me uneasy, but she would put on a good act for the most part so I shrugged my shoulders thinking that she’s just stressed about her relationship and my sister. My sister has very very very bad anxiety. She gets so worked up that she cant think straight and she’d have a fight or flight response. She’d become violent sometimes too, but mostly to herself or her twin sister. But with all the fighting she became unmanageable. Almost every night she too would have an episode. We’d have to pull her in when she’d try to escape out the top floor window. Or I’d stand between her and my other so that she couldn’t attach her because she suddenly became so violent towards her. It was exhausting. This lasted an entire summer. Finally I came home one night to my mom and her husband yelling at each other in the kitchen.
My mom went through rehab a year ago and she was fine for a week and back down the drain. She’s always drinking. I always make excuses to my friends when she’s at home bc she lost a job. This is the first time I’m saying something. It’s been like this for almost 3 years now. I’m glad I wasn’t younger than what I was when it happend but I am still young I still wish it never happend. I’m glad I can rant. I’m glad I’m not alone and ik many have it worse than me .Idk who will see this but I hope your doing ok and have a good day! <3
TRIGGER WARNING: My story is very long and detailed. If drugs, hospitals, anorexia, or death are triggering for you to read/talk about then maybe you should skip this story. Other than that thank you to those of you who stuck around 🙂 My mom has been an alcoholic for many years. She was an alcoholic and even had a cocaine addiction before I was born, but she was sober for a couple of years (including when she was pregnant with me). After I was born though she started drinking again, when I was around age 2. She’s been an alcoholic for the past 17 years and recently had to go to the hospital. Three months ago I had to forcefully take her there because she hadn’t gotten up from the couch for 3 days. She hadn’t drank any water, eaten any food, or even gotten up to use the bathroom in 3 days. I called 911 at first and they were no help at all! They came in and asked her a few questions and then made her sign an electronic form saying that she was refusing to go to the hospital. After that they left, and just said “sorry, she’s just really drunk”. A few hours later still nothing changed so I decided that she needed to go. If I hadn’t taken my mom to the hospital she would have died. Her shock level was a 7.2 and she is very frail as well. Even besides her alcoholism I’m pretty sure she has a form of anorexia (she’s 49 and weighs 90-something pounds). The doctors assessed her and she was diagnosed with malnutrition and wernickes. (Wernickes has many similar symptoms to dimensia/alzheimers but is from excessive alcohol consumption.
I’m 16 and My dad has been sober for over a year now, but I still fear that he will just start drinking again. I just feel a lot of us going through this just have to stay strong. None of my friends even know that my dads an alcoholic and I would never say it, and I remember every time my dad started drinking again or coming back from sea (Chief Engineer), that none of my friends could come to my house and I would always make up some excuses. Well yeah, Al I can say is stay strong and hope for the best and don’t assume everyone’s life is perfect even if they are wealthy!
Its already 1:28 AM and my dad is drunk again and he courses and scream and wakes up every body in home my little sister 6 months she is just a baby she cries and I always try to take him bed so he can sleep but sometimes he gets upset with me for no reason and the next day he acts like nothing has happend .
I’ve been doing a lot of processing and reflecting on this topic and thought, “I bet Kati Morton could make a great article about this.” I searched: parents alcohol kati morton and here was a article, love how easy the topics are to find!! Thank you for all that you do for mental health awareness and beyond!
You’ve helped me so much over the years you have no idea. Thank you so much for your articles. They helped so much of us that are either shy or afraid of the shame that comes with opening yourself up to another person and further those who dont want to retraumatize themselves every time we get a new therapist over the years. Your articles are an amazing resource to begin the journey of self discovery and allows for a deeper understanding of the problems we all face to varying degrees of.
Kati thank you for your articles, it’s a great help! Both parents were alcoholics, when I was a child. Now I still have to live with my alcoholic mother. Very hard, she emotionally abuses me, rarely physically. Can’t move out, don’t know what to do. Can’t and don’t want to talk to friends about it, some friends know, but don’t understand me and i feel the lack of support. 😳
I have an alcoholic father and it’s horrible. All I have requested or begged rather, is just to go one day without alcohol and to see how beautiful life is. I have sacrificed so much for him but he doesn’t listen. No one knows that my dad is an alcoholic. None of my friends know. I don’t touch alcohol for this reason. Every one asks why I don’t drink but it hurts too much to tell it. This is the first time I am acknowledgibg something like this in a public forum and I am crying my heart out. No human being deserves such pain
To everyone here who’s having to deal with an alcoholic parent or parents, you will get through this and move on in the future. My father is always drunk and I find it hard to talk to him because I get scared and uncomfortable. I just want to live somewhere else or find a way to confront him about it but oh well, I can get through this, and I know you guys can too.
i’m angelina and i have an alcoholic mom. i’ve lost all hope that she will get better. she gives me false hope by saying she won’t drink again, then does it . i have to deal with this at least 2 times a month and idk what else to do. she’s gone on retreats, has a therapist, and has a job to keep her busy from thinking ab drinking but it all does down the toilet. she is a lightweight and gets drunk at the slightest bit of alcohol. our fights have gotten so bad when i confront her that it leads to physical contact. briefly but it happens every once and a while. i’ve lost all trust in her and i feel myself becoming a colder person bc of my anxiety. i also have stomach ulcers caused by stress because of her. i’m going to get a therapist soon bc i can’t deal with this on my own. thanks for listening to my rant .
Right now my father is very drunk and im so scared i feel dark inside don’t have good memories about my father when he is drunk i also hate his face and the way he talks I don’t know how much time i need to deal with this and it also makes me more upset that he plays the victim role when he is sober it’s like a nightmare i feel scared and lost i don’t know what to do
I’m an alcoholic, so my experience with Al Anon is second hand. I think one thing they recommend is “detachment with love”. Don’t take an alcoholic’s drinking personally. Don’t feel like you somehow failed them. If you can avoid it, don’t try to rescue an alcoholic from the consequences of his or her drinking. Let them know there is help available when they’re ready to ask for it.
AL-ANON has been an amazing tool for me that I cannot advocate for enough. It gave me a space to not feel alone in, and an opportunity to see how alcoholism affected my decisions in ways I didn’t even realize. It took a while to find the right group in which I felt comfortable and understood, but once I did, my life started changing rapidly. The most beneficial part was hearing how people struggled and OVERCAME challenges that I thought were just permanent situations. Things I didn’t realize were symptoms and side affects of having an alcoholic parent. Things I thought were my own fault. There is hope and help, and this disease affects the family and loved ones of alcoholics just as much as its affects them. Take care of yourself 💚
My mom had a failed liver and was in a medically induced coma for two months. They told us to say our goodbyes. She recovered fully and her liver regenerated itself. But she’s right back to drinking. It’s horrible. It makes me sick. And I have to cut her out of my life. She is in denial about her liver failure and blames it on a “rare heart condition”. Her doctors flat out told us it was her liver.
so basically my mum has been drinking for 7 years and she stopped last year because she met someone but since hes gone to help his family in another country she’s started drinking again. I want to tell my friends but i would feel embarrassed and i know one of my friends would have the urge to do something about it which means that she would tell someone and i dont want that to happen
This article would’ve been incredibly useful if Youtube existed 14-15 years ago. However, personal experience leads me to believe this: Sometimes, talking to them about their alcoholism doesn’t help. My father was one. He had been this way since I was 3. And, when I was 12, I finally figured it out. After that, I spent quite a bit of time trying “save him”. Sadly, he died when I was 17. However, I hope when someone reads my story, they won’t take it as a sign that encouraging them to get help doesn’t work. Just because my father couldn’t admit his issue, doesn’t mean your parent can’t get help. Just because my story ended abruptly, doesn’t mean that yours has to. Fight for them, but most importantly: Fight for yourself.
I wish I had this 10/11 years ago Kati. My mum was a functioning alcoholic – she went to work the morning after.. I looked after her after my dad left and have had many experiences of picking her up off the floor. I was the adult, she was the child. It was so difficult but I didn’t even think of myself. I was totally focused on her. I would also recommend Al-Anon. It wasn’t therapy but it helps you to realise that it’s not your fault and how not to enable them however tempting and familiar it is. I had therapy to deal with it’s affect on me among other things. Another great article Kati x
My dad had an alcohol issue. It made me mature because I trusted him completely and then he betrayed me by having affairs and emotionally abusing my mom. When your parent really starts treating you and the family like shit to the highest extreme then you start to think on your own (not think what your parents think) and validate yourself (not look for validation in others). It changes you. You go from innocent and trusting to deciding you want to be a force of good in the world since the world obviously needs it.
Hi, the way I like to get bad news is the sandwich technique where you give a compliment then the bad news, and then another compliment. My mom is a recovering alcoholic and has gone to AA and she was in a recovery center. I believe she still drinks sometimes. This article hit home for me because my mom was an alcoholic.
I grew up with an alcoholic and abusive father, a lot of the abuse has now stopped because I’m not a kid now and he doesn’t have the opportunity to but he is still verbally abusive and very manipulative and so I have decided to cut him out of my life entirely. I’m 24 now, and I haven’t spoke to him in about 5 months and actually it feels great! But my therapist makes me feel awful about it! She tells me that I should try to make it work, even if it’s meeting him for coffee and now and then because I’m lucky since “some people don’t even know their fathers”. I’m feeling very frustrated and not sure how to deal with it. Some days I’ve felt incredibly guilty about it; like I’m being selfish.
Im 18, my name Is max, I used to argue with my mom until she kicked me out, so I went and rented and apartment but it was only for 4 months. then I went to my dads because it ended and im studying so I can’t work as much as before, he drinks a lot of rhum. Last month was my girlfriends prom, we drank and we had a lot of bottles so I brought one back home. it was captain morgan rhum 1.75 liters of it. I did hide it in the kitchen. a few days after I came back from my student job. my dad drank a lot and he was paranoid and violent. He strangled, punched me and threatened me to kick me out. plus hes living w his wife who came from dominican republic and 2 kids im just there to stufy for 2 months then save some money and leave. All of them are saying that hes crazy and they don’t want me out of here because I got nowhere to go. he did drank half of the bottle of the captain morgan that I kept as a memory for the prom of my girlfriend. when I seen that I started crying because it was my memory, for me it was precious and then I told him that he was drunk and he said « I still know how to control myself, and he throwed away the other half down the drain I was crying and panicking. He just bought a bottle today and im scared because I don’t know when hes going to drink it, I just wanna finish my school then save my money for a better life but im scared of him ruining it. plus I have an anxiety problem so its not good for me im starting to get crazy.. can somebody give me suggestions
My sister died(from cancer(i had 3 sisters 2 died and only 1 is left she is very suicidal and he laughs everything she says off as her looking for attention)) my father became an alcoholic and it’s so fucking annoying. My dad wont just shut the fuck up. Something small happens and guess what? He wont forget. And when he snt drunk he “forgets” what he did. Dude’s single handedly ruining my fucking life. And his way of trying to blame others for his actions is fucking priceless. Then he makes the fact that he works a way to try to gain pity/sympathy. Im almost 16 and im going to be working more hours than him. My friend working will help me get a job and i will do my best to work more hours than him just so he wont be able to use that as an excuse. And then there is the drunk driving. He stopped drunk driving when he almost killed the LAST sister i have left
Had a falling out with my mother today im 17 and this has been going on for a few years now she gambled away 6000$ in one night and i specifically tell her do not talk to me when you are drunk. I made up my mind today i exploded with anger today everything had been building up and it just happened i want to cut all ties with her at this moment because i really don’t want to forgive today was just alot anyone else going rjrough this shit? I wanna hug someone right now
I just learnt yesterday that my aunt is drinking again after almost a year of being sober and I really would like to help my cousin (she is 16) cope with it in healthy ways but we’ve never talked about her mom’s alcohol problem and I don’t want to force her to do anything that she’s not comfortable with. I don’t see her every day and now that she’s back to living alone with her mom I want to do my best to be there for her. Anyone who has dealt with an alcoholic parent or knows how to handle this kind of stuff, I would really apreciate any advice on this… Thank you all in advance <3
I’m worried for my mom and dad because every night I see 6 empty beer bottles on the counter, and their getting another out of the fridge! Then later they go get some more later when I go to bed. I’m just scared. They fight about being drunk in front of me and my siblings, and I hate it! I feel like my real mother and father is never actually there with us.
I have an alcoholic mother and one time a few months ago. I hid her boxes of alcohol and she commanded me to give it back and I profusely said no and ran up to my room. Then she chased after me and kept yelling at me and threatened to ground me. Then she demanded to take my phone away and I said no again and I ran downstairs and tried to call my dad. Then she demanded to have a conversation with me if I didn’t want to lose any privileges. Luckily we talked it over and she then calmed down and I didn’t end up getting punished because I was trying to do the right thing (Thank god) But this article is very helpful with my situation. It’s not quite as bad as it was 6 years ago but it’s getting worse.
SHARE. Talk about it! Maybe in a by sentence at first; “Blablabla, and also I thnik she might have a problem” or “She definetely has a problem with drinking”.For over a decade my mothers sickness was a gigantic taboo within the family. It destroyed our family in many ways because we acted cowardly. We were simply too afraid. I wish we had had that awful, scary conversation years earlier. Maybe it could have saved my parent’s marriage, maybe it could have saved my siblings’ and my relationship to our mother. We did not dare to share, and that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
#KatiFAQ Hi Kati, I love your articles and have a question for you. My mother is extremely emotionally abusive. I finally told my guidance counselor and my Chemistry teacher whom I trust about what was going on at home. I asked to see the Marriage and Family Therapist we have at my high school. However, since my mom is the cause of my emotional turmoil, I don’t want my parents to know I am receiving help. They don’t believe in mental health and think emotions are just something you keep inside you and don’t talk to anyone about and that therapy is for “crazy and weak people”. They would lose it if they found out that I told anyone at school about what my mom has said and done to me. My question is, because I don’t want my parents to know, my counselor told me the therapist will call me in for an informal session and we’ll see how it goes from there. Do my parents eventually have to be notified that I am seeing the school MFT or not? I am 16 years old living in California, and also have an IEP because I am visually impaired if that is of any importance.
It is so hard. I spent years dealing with my drunk father. He loves me so much and I love him equally as much but his alcoholism is so hurtful. Even now after 10 years I find myself struggling. I’m not a kid anymore and I know he is not okay. I want to desperately help him but he is so closed. He refuses to even acknowledge his condition. He drinks multiple times a week and he drinks himself blind. He cannot walk, can barely talk, is often verbally abusive. The worst part is that he “cannot” or refuses to remember any of it. I can’t talk to him about it because he doesn’t even remember drinking in the first place. I am so worried and hurt and confused and I don’t know what to do. I’m only 17 and none of my friends understand nor can they help me. How can I try and help someone who has convinced himself that he is totally fine. That he “barely drinks” and only drinks “a few cans”. Today he had drank a 6-pack by noon and went and bought an entire carton to share with a mate. It is not healthy. I find it hard having to be the parent in our relationship who looks after him when he is immobilised by alcohol and still keeping up with my own mental health and school commitment. It has forced me to grow up early and lose a lot of my childhood to his hobby. My biggest fear is moving away to go to University next year. He will have no one to look after him. No one to make sure he doesn’t fall down the stairs while drunk. He will feel no pressure whatsoever to even consider buying food and eating and being a “responsible adult” as his only commitment (myself) will be gone.
I don’t believe in sweeping the issue under the rug. When you drink to excess (to the point that you’ve damaged your liver, gotten a transplant, and are continuing to drink alcohol) you’re impacting your family. Having married into a family of alcoholics has been extremely difficult and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better, as my in laws all drink together and admit no wrong doing whatsoever.
I can relate to this as I grew up in an alcoholic family I’m also an alcoholic I’m coming up on 4 years sober also battled an eating disorder I have found therapy and support groups to be helpful . My eating disorder was a coping mechanism from experiencing emotional and sexual abuse, and growing up with alcoholism in the family where binge drinking felt normalized and I didn’t ever know what moderation was because I was taught to do everything in excess
My dad became an alcoholic around the beginning of the pandemic. I hate what he became ( a big liar and a manipulator) sometimes I’ve been in near death situations because of him and I’m so fucked up in the head that I feel like I’m gonna give in to my anger and beat him in his sleep. It’s just really sad he thinks he’s still a young teenager in the streets but he’s has 3 fucking kids and he never learns. Idk what to do anymore
I’ve been a victim of alcohol abuse for the last 15 years, i.e., ever since I had a understanding of the world. Now I’m 18 and at this point I’m fkn frustrated with my life. Can’t focus on my career because of his alcoholism. Life is just hopeless. Just want to get out of all this mess and give my mom, what she deserved in the first place, but I think I have already failed her. It’s really demotivating, having no one to talk about it, cause they won’t understand it and judge me on this basis. I’ve been through a lot and God has shown no mercy to me yet. 💔
I had to kick my mom out because she didn’t like the fact that I asked her to slow Down on drinking. I work out for two weeks and tired when I get home. The last thing I need is to come home to a drunk. It’s heart breaking. There is no peace, it also made me relapse to my drug addiction because I couldn’t stay home and I had a whoa is me moment..it’s a difficult situation. But it’s hard to comprise with an alcoholic especially if they are under the influence
I recently found out my dad is drinking again after being sober for four years, I’m afraid he’s going to convert back to how he was and I’m scared, I was proud of him and I supported him because I knew it was hard, now I’m just disappointed and broken, I love him but when I found out it was like a slap to my face, and the worst part of it is that he’s trying to hide it from me and he doesn’t know that I know
I’m 15 he said he would stop it hurts so bad to see him drunk, I’m always trying to make sure he’s ok I worry so badly about him digging an early grave. I can’t do this anymore I’m getting to my breaking point, so many mental break downs have happened bc of him I just need someone to talk to but I trust nobody. Who ever reads this I’m sorry
My mom is an alcoholic Before I was born Every 3 or 4 months she does her binges, disappears. She never admits the destruction she has brought on me or my brother, she blames everyone else. My brother, my Daddy . No one is to blame ….except her. I am depressed . It’s so sad . Society enables her . Her parents, its destroying me my brother and my Daddy . It’s not that easy . It’s a choice …..bad choices Stop blaming others . She is dangerous to me and my brother and even to my Dad
I have an alcoholic sister, who is a mother. I feel for her children because as a sister living 100 miles, she has used the phone to abuse ME. I was the only family member of 8 siblings who would talk to her. I finally got fed up with her lies and abuse and I detached myself from her. I told her if she is sober for a year, then she’ll hear from me again.. I guess she got it from my dad who was a complete loser drunk. I was so sad that I had to disconnect but I deserve a life too (I’m 67). I went from sadness to major anger. I’ll get through this at some point. I’ve already forgiven myself for putting up with her. Now I’m getting to realize how happy I can be. She knows about AA but refused to go. So if you can detach. . . do it.
One thing I can not stand is when he hurts himself like falling,, broken bones,, I seen him falling down so bad that he end up in the hosptial,, I told him it’s the alcohol that’s going to kill him oneday,, he always says it not the alcohol,, he never blames his drunkenness and defends always like a sick relationship with it, I pray nothing happens,, really thinking of leaving him,, because I cant stand the thought of him coming home to me, like a sick missile heading my way,, a beaken of some sort,, I dont drink why should have to deal with him,, I should he doesn’t have a home any more, hes a man he can go and snuggle beside his case of beer some where,, sick of it sick of it
I’m 13. I have an alcoholic mother. She expects me to care for her all the time like she’s my child. When she faints from being drunk she yells for me to help her back up. Im getting sick of it. It breaks my heart. And when I help her up she stares at me and says “I hate you, I will never forgive you, you’re a little b****” I don’t understand. I’m worried. When I leave will she keep drinking and rely on me to drive over and help her. Cause I’m not doing that, she’s an adult not a child. She’s affected me so much, I’m afraid to invite friends over because what if she gets drunk and lashes out on me in front of them. I don’t want them to see that. Also, I have a 14 year old brother. He doesn’t get yelled at. Why is it just me. It hurts so much and he always comes to me after while I’m crying and hugs me. He’s the only reason I’m here atm tbh. I don’t want him to leave me here when he goes to uni, with her. She scares me..
@Kati Morton Hi there I really appreciate your article. It’s difficult to process and cope when dealing with an alcoholic parent. I’m 21 and my mother is struggling. I am trying my best to support her but over the years I’m continuing to lose faith in her. Granted, she’s been through a rough divorce with my then stepfather after 15+ years, coupled with the fact that one of her closest friends passed away. She has had more than one DUI also crashing two of my cars plus a few of her own driving drunk. She’s been through alot but I know she is strong. In October she was wrongfully arrested and placed in prison for two weeks. While she was inside our apartment burned down when I was away at work. She drinks now and becomes violent or hopelessly sad. I’m worried that she will harm herself or take her own life if I try to run for help or cut ties. If you’re reading this please pray for me I will not give up on her.
My mom has been an alcoholic for a while now and my words of advice is. DO NOT HELP THEM. Stay away from them as much as you can because they made this shitty life choice and they put it before you and your brother or sister. Work on your life and have the best time you can! I am 17 and I turn 18 in 1 month and I am hoping to graduate online high school soon! After that I want to get a full time job and get my own apartment. Just remember that this isn’t gonna be your life forever. It gets so much better when your on your own.
My mom is starting to become an alcoholic. She’s clearly trying to cope with the fact that she failed raising me and my brother. She taught us to be kind and stuff and was super super loving but she taught us nothing about how to live. I’m 30 and we still live with her. She babyed us. It’s become clear now that my brother and I only have each other. Now it’s time we grow up. Spirits help us.
i have a alcoholic dad and i cry myself to sleep almost every night. its affecting my whole life. i have less sleep and i cant deal with anything. my parents r going to get divorced but im going to slightly miss my dad. seeing others having a non alcoholic dad or mom r rlly lucky. pls, dont say u arent lucky for what u ahve. at least u have a non alcoholic dad or mom
I always feel bad for being do mad and negative at my mom but she doesnt understand the pain she has put me through a lot with alcohol. She is not abusive or mean until she is drunk and it is actually really scary. I take of my younger brother and I am like his mom when it comes to schooling him, feeding him, etc. My mother may go to work and pay bills but it is not the same as being there for your kid as they grow up. She tried to quit maybe like twice but it just never works cause she never fully tries. She makes life harder.
My mom is really bad. Alcohol has made her abusive toward anyone near by. My dad gets the brunt of this abuse. He is soft spoken and so kind, he always supports his kids and never even raised his voice to his kids or her. I watched her scream in his face. I am perusal alcohol take many of my friends now, who I used to drink with when we were younger. It’s painful we hope some kind of treatment will help my mom. I hope all here who have these same problems find relief and I am sorry but you aren’t alone. Edit: I don’t know if this will help anyone but when I’m hurt and alone with no one I want to talk to I escape in music, listening and playing. A song that truly hurts but really helped me is Once An Addict – Interlude by J Cole. He speaks on his mom’s drinking and how it effects him. Many times I thought of showing my mom this in hopes it would articulate the way I feel but I don’t think she would even listen.
My father is having alcoholic problems since my brother die, he says that it’s his fault but is not, my brother died in a heart surgery so why is his fault? Anyway, my brother died 5 years ago and my father just fall in alcohol. I don’t know how to make him to understand that he’s not faulty and that we need him. If you can help me that would be awesome and also if you can talk about how to deal with the dead of a family that would help us a lot. Greetings from Mexico!!!
Is it wrong to talk to a family member about my aunt and uncles alcoholism? I always feel guilty. I always feel like they will find out I said something. I feel bad. I don’t know what to do. I feel bad when I try to stay outside all day because I can’t deal with the toxicity. I don’t want them to be mad at me. They always get mad at me.
Any advice for someone who has an alcoholic parent who is a main provider and threatens to stop paying for college tuition if I bring up his addiction or ruffle his feathers only slightly? He punched a whole in my door and cusses at me when its rlly bad. And because of quarantine, he does this every night. What should I do?
I’m 12, and my mum is an alcoholic. My mum and dad broke up when I was 4. This caused her to start drinking. She always shouts at me and my brother when we say “You’re drunk” or something on the lines of that. Tonight was very extreme, considering my grandad is in hospital because he has a brain tumour. My mum didn’t handle this very well and has drank about 3 bottles in one day. She keeps coughing and spluttering and I’m very worried for her health. It is currently midnight and I can’t sleep because she keeps coming in my room saying “Come brush your teeth darling!” Whereas I have already and told her numerous times. I’m overall really scared because I don’t want this addiction to go too far.
Thank you for this. I would really like to internalize that statement you made @ 2:54 “Their illness is not your fault” & that list right after. I would like to get all the shitty feelings out of my head when I see the substance. I hate feeling sad, anxious, full of blame, uncomfortable, angry, spiteful, weird, & out of place everytime. I almost wish I do not care since I cannot help what “they” do. I really just want to ignore “their” bad habits. This is really hard when “they” are your bestfriend, a really great person overall, & in your life for a long haul. I really hope that I can continue to help manage my thoughts & feelings, so my mind does not have to be wasted on these bad feelings. “They” know how “their” drinking makes me feel, but when the moment is happening, my thoughts & feelings do not matter to “them”. (Sigh). When I feel all these shitty feelings, I try to keep my distance, find a hobby which lately I just workout, focus on our awesome children, my college, & cleaning/decluttering. Working out is something I can control/do & get numbers of benefit. I have a love/hate relationship with working out, but it seems to be the one thing that is working at the moment, when I have no idea how to deal with my “feelings”. It takes most of the shitty feelings away, keeps me distracted, helps me keep healthy, & makes me really tired (Sighs). I hope it gets better for everyone. Thank you all for your stories. I know for me, they help me manage better. Hoping for a better tomorrow.
Youre beautiful on the outside and inside, I used to be like that too. I just hope you understand that some of us, even if we are alcoholic, are good people with good intentions, Atleast I think that about myself and other people around me. Youre so brave holy shit btw, I dont speak English as a first language so I cant tell you how i really feel, but thank you, hugs, kisses and love from me
1. Talk about it 2. Set healthy boundaries 3. Don’t blame anyone. It’s an illness. My friend is working on 1 and 3. But since he is reliant on his parents, 2 is extremely difficult. His alcoholic mother can just come into his room and berate him, and there’s nothing he can do. He isn’t in the financial situation to move out. What the heck can he do??
hi, my mother has been an alcoholic my entire life and even admitted to drinking while pregnant with me. she used to get BEYOND plastered every single day, wet herself in public, drag me around pubs since i was a baby and i’d beg her over and over not to drink or to take me home etc but nothing worked. i am 20 now, still living with her and have fibromyalgia and a personality disorder and i can’t help but blame her. she still goes to bars nearly every single day and is in thousands of pounds of debt. luckily i am her third child so i wont inherit her debt. i feel really alone and like she has always chosen drink over me. my father was physically abusive and stalked us, and i was taken away by police when i was 12. please reply if anyone else has been through similar, please. i can’t attend those groups and would really love to hear from people going through similar things
Just a few seconds ago, I came back up floors from floor 1 in a hotel, my mum was going CRAZY! She literally was not minding anyone’s personal space. She tried to put her hand on my face😮and the security guard tried to stop her but didn’t get to. Hope my mum doesn’t say random things like “Go and fish inside of the brick boat” 😂😂 I am this girl’s friend. My mum said she will try to take the credit card away from her mother, so she can’t buy anymore drinks
My Mom isn’t such an alcoholic that she passes out or falls over drunk, but she acts very differently. She’s more aggressive, more sensitive, and ruins any fun at all. My parents say it makes life easier to drink, but it seems harder for them to be joyful when they drink. My Dad isn’t that bad, but my Mom turns scary. Once i was afraid she’d hit me because I made her mad somehow, just by sitting with my arms crossed she thought i was mad at her and the argument lasted an hour. I said nothing was wrong throughout the argument, but it started to be a lie towards the end. I was so upset and afraid, and I wanted her to stop prosecuting me so badly. By the end I was bawling my eyes out, all because I had my arms crossed. I hate it and I want to move out so bad. 🙁
One thing I can not stand is me,, having to look out my own balcony and see sober people walking around on a Friday night and people doing normal things,, and me wishing I was like them, having nothing to worry about,, and go bed with out worries,, I ran sister who was an alcoholic now I have a boyfriend who is doing the same thing,, coming home drunk,, and he seems to be getting worse not better,, he starting to see thing when drunk,, talk to people who are not there,, and yells, in his sleep,, it like an old man lives inside him and it scares me,,
I am 29 and my mom still has huge problem with alcohol. I feel like it’s getting worse every year…and I’m aware that one day I will find out that she died becuse of her addiction. I feel awful emptiness because I can’t get rid of her out of my life,I feel responsible for her and i feel I have to support her anyhow,because she is too weak,because she is ill,because she is lonely, because she has never been taught different way..
Messed up how I sometimes had to literally be scared to go eat food or just walk around in my own home without getting yelled out then being called fake and getting cussed out by my own mom. Then at school you gotta put this fake mask on to fit in..its really unhealthy and messed me up…mentally. Most of this happened in my 5th grade year is where it was really bad because I was getting bullied at school then coming home hoping to not see a drunk mother…i remember one time the girl bullying me said something and I guess I just snapped because I straight up shoved the chair and left the room and ran out into the hall..at these times I was having suicidal thoughts and I really almost stabbed myself but stopped.Everytime I tried I couldn’t do it…Now I still have depression but it’s nowhere near severe as much as it use to be.My parents also don’t fight as much anymore. So glad I kept going….
I have been dealing with a father who is an alchol addict and it hurts so much..I have lived with this for over 40 years and just unable to assist nor deal with him as I live him so much but he uses that for emotional blackmail for his drink..feel so helpless with him embarrassing the family after a, life where he has not had any responsibility and mom carrying the family…its been tough..just venting :)its painful to see how own relatives who act close take my father for granted for their gossip or fun..that hurts me more than any thing in life not knowing how much it hurts …crazy ..it will pass I suppose ..
So your recomendation is: assist to AA meetings, speak to friends and family (who are not professionals and therefore are not required to be involved, because more drama and deception (they won’t do shit about what you just told them and 8t will simply hurt more, because not only won’t they help, but now they know)), pay private therapy (hopefully you can afford it) and… ?
My mother is an alcoholic and the worst think is that she try to hide it! I’m 12 and i live with my mom and grandmother cause my dad passed away… My mom does not wanna find job… After 2 years my mom and I gonna arrive in other sity cause i have to study but i am really scared cause then my mom is drunk she is horrible! She start screaming to me without reason, start to lie alot… And i will be so scared if she find a job cause one day she will go to work drunk and can you imagine what will happen! 😢😭😨😞😥
My mom drinks some. at night and shes been drinking a lot, my parents always get into some sort of fight. Then my dad always comes upstairs to his office to work looking defeated and sad. I feel really bad for my dad because he works so much. Im so afraid to tell my mom to stop drinking so much, because im afraid that it will ruin our mother/daughter relationship and it will be awkward.
Hey Kati, I was wondering if you could do a article on ADHD. I was recently diagnosed with having it, and my parents and my doctor are thinking about medication. What’s it like to go on ADHD medication for the first time. Also what are some of the side affects? Thanks, also I love love love your articles!
My dad was an alcoholic, I was the one on the physically and mentally abusive side of it, it took for my ASD diagnosis to understand he drunk to deal with his meltdowns from sensory, routine and social deficits. But the time I realised he passed away from mouth cancer only a year late ( this year in April) my mum took me once when I was 12 to a therapy group for women with alcoholic husbands but all she did was learn how to deal with him for herself, and kept feeding his addiction, not to deal with him and then help him.. she has narcissistic personality disorder.. that is harder to deal with then my dad was sadly. When he wasn’t drunk he was a good dad, very talented could make or build anything and when my mum had to go away with my brother for sports he was never horrible to me, we understood each other without realising it, she was a trigger to him and I just wish I wasn’t mis diagnosed for 9 years so I could have understood him years ago to try and help. 🙁
I have a question. I’m 33. I’ve had several issues in the past (OCD, anxiety, SH, depression, maybe ADHD) that I believe I’ve worked through pretty well, but I also feel like at this point I could benefit from medication(s) to give me the nudge to get me out of my current slump. My problem, however, is that I’m related to so many alcoholics/drug addicts that I’m terrified of taking something that could lead me down a path I know I don’t want. Any advice for someone struggling to be okay with this particular path to wellness?
Really affects me of having an alcoholic father. It frustrates me for being in that house. Me dealing feeling depressed and having anxiety. When a father blames you for his drinking. And wanna change me for being more sociable?? And when he get mad at me for no reason it’s always that Silent Treatment.. smh 🤦🏾♀️
I know this is unrelated to this article but Im not sure whether I am developing an eating disorder… I am a healthy weight however I hate my body shape and want to lose weight, I am really careful about eating sugary foods and I hardly eat a meal and when I do it is only something small such as a potnoodle for an entire day. I hate eating in front of people and will often claim I’m not hungry or that I have already eaten when I haven’t… should I speak to someone about this or is it normal? thanks xx
I wish my father would go to therapy. My father relies only on my mother, he is extremely introverted, it’s not a good hole my dad is in. He is very resilient though, he hides all his emotions and everything. He got 96% introversion on his Meyer Briggs test. He told my mom just because I’m good with people doesn’t mean I want to be around them. My father is an INTP, my mother is an ISFJ, and I’m an INFJ. He just scares me when he gets too drunk he just can do harmful stuff with or without realizing it. He becomes so bitter, he’ll hate everything when I’m happy, when I’m working hard, or whatever. Sometimes I’m afraid he might be a sociopath or psychopath, he has told me about how he kill his neighbors dog by putting it on train tracks, for revenge after he said they killed his cat. He is not good for my paranoia, but I feel stuck. Sometimes, I think if he kills me or something well he’ll go to jail hopefully or I’ll just be dead so it won’t matter. It scares me to think that he might hurt my dog though. I’ll just have to run or die. Run then die. When he wakes up tomorrow he is going to be cheery, nice, until he gets drunk.
I used to care for my pops but i dont care anymore. Had to deal with his crap since i was a child and im choosing not to deal with it anymore. He can drink all he wants. If it destroys his health then so be it. I feel so free when im not around him. But im pissed at my mom because she keeps bringing him back into the house. Like why bring someone back who beat you and verbally abused you. And he hasn’t even tried to change yet. It sucks because when you see your alcoholic parent drinking its like you gotta be on gaurd and ready for anything because you’ll never know what they’ll say and do. My pops started a lot of crap during my childhood. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT ITS NOT YOUR FAULT IF THEY PASS AWAY FROM IT. THEY CHOSE TO CONTINUE TO DRINK THEMSELVES! WE CAN’T HELP PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT TO BE HELPED!!!!
My mother’s a schizophrenic heroin addict and I get yelled at for littery everything, she won’t even leave me in the house for her to go smoke because she thinks I’m stealing things from her, I don’t do anything I try so hard to be quiet and just show that I’m not the problem, but as soon as any little thing goes missing it’s me, keys, food, stuff in storage, clothes, etc. As of right now she thinks I stole her food saver, I littery have no we’re to go, my farther kicked me out awhile ago and then I’m just being told everyday to leave from my mom, Its so bad that if I spend more than a night at a friend’s house, i feel like they don’t want me there, it’s not like they have told me they don’t want me there, I just feel like all I am is a burden Someone help me please
My mom recently turned to alcohol as stress relief, but it’s getting too much. Heck, she even drinks at work. She has a hidden supply somewhere, that I’m yet to find. To make it worse, my dad is out of the country for 2 months, so I have to bear with her. He’s even extending his stay. I used to pretend that I never noticed her drinking, but I’m getting worried for her health. She even tries to act like all this drinking is normal. For example, “You know what I do! I go home, grab my little drink, eat and sleep!” She even shrugs it off and laughs sometimes. I feel like she thinks I’m stupid or something. I’ve known something was off about her for 4 years now, ever since I was 10. She would stumble, she would talk weird, all that stuff. I’m not really a confronting or sentimental person so I don’t know how to tell her about how I feel. When we have family gatherings, she goes OVERBOARD in drinking, and it’s honestly just embarrassing. I’m also an only child, so I don’t really have anybody REALLY REALLY close to me to confide in. I mean, I do have many close friends but I don’t want to bear this burden onto them. I do love her, and I just want things to go back to the way it was.
My mum is an alcoholic that gets through atleast 4-5 beer cans a night. Our house is pretty much a dump on the inside due to her obsession with “projects” (ideas that she comes up with to put in the house). We don’t have much money at all, and she wastes it on lots of alcohol and stuff for projects. I’ve been trying to clean our kitchen, but my efforts are just wasted. She doesn’t even clean up after herself (mainly beer cans and rubbish), and most mornings I have to do rounds of the house and pick up her beer cans. I’m pretty sure a young teenager shouldn’t have to do that. I’m always sick due to mold on my bedroom wall, and when I talked to her about it she said “Yeah, I’ll get it sorted out” in a sarcastic voice. I want to talk to her about everything, but I’m just too scared to. Whenever I’ve talked to her about little things, like cleaning up her beer cans, she’s always just gotten pissed off. Due to quarantine I haven’t even been able to go over to my grandparents every now and then to get a break from her. I would talk to my grandparents about it, but if I tell them anything bad about what goes on at home and my mum finds out, she yells at me when they aren’t there. Both my mum and my brother have been on antidepressants, and I’m seen as the ‘bright person’ of the family. In reality I used to cut, still think about going back to it sometimes, I bottle up most of my feelings, and I don’t even get away from this hell often. I just want it all to get better, I can’t remember the last time we had anything close to a normal home and I felt truly happy.
My mom is an achohlic she is like a different person when she drinks me and my dad have been dealing this with 4 years almost 5 I’m 11 years old and sometimes my mom is yo drunk at 2am and sometimes I get so scared I have to sleep with my dad, she also runs away a lot to go drink.about a year ago every single time my dad picked me up from school we went to go look for my mom and sometimes it took hours to find her a lot of time when my dad wasn’t there and my mom picked me up she was drunk, I hate sharing this but it feels so good at the same time and I’m glad I’m not the only I just wished it would stop
My mother has cancer and also needs dialysis (is it written that way?) He is the only one who can drive and take care of taxes or cook (when our mother is not there) we are dependent on him. In every fight, he makes sure to tell us ALL the things he did for us “I am going to leave you all for a week!! Let’s see how you can handle yourselves without me!” (Ends up not going) Hitting my mother before cancer. Emotionally abusing us. Telling my sister he wouldn’t care about her and she can go die. Witnessing how often he was right about to kill my brother, when he had his tantrum before his medis. -> You never forget that. When he grabbed the knife from my mother, when she wanted to cut her bread. Those black eyes… sparkling from craziness. I want to move out and cut ties but can’t because I am just 16. Sorry for ranting.
my mom is an alcoholic, she said that she’s drinking because it’s was my fault that her bf left her . i always take it personally bc i dont want her to do anything bad to her self . i always cry because i really don’t know what to do . she says that she wants to die & that she doesn’t wanna see me anymore cuz i betrayed her .
I’ve been contemplating moving out partially because of his drinking. He doesn’t think we know about it because he drinks when we’re in bed but he’s still black out drunk in the morning when we get up. He also tries to hide the bottles but he never does it very well (under something in the garbage or just in the outside garbage can) he has made countless promises about stopping drinking but I can’t trust him anymore because he keeps breaking promises and lying to my face about his drinking. But I am not mentally or financially ready to move out so I’m just stuck in this house with a drunk dad and a mom who ignores it so she doesn’t have to start any conflict. I want to go to my pastor/men in the church about it but I’m afraid if I do they’ll start talking to my dad and he will realize that I was the one who told on him and actually get kicked out of the house.
Alcoholism is a disease where the parent doesn’t want help, they are deeply embarrassed about their addiction. You will find that they will try to block the subject when it comes up, and they are not willing to express what they are feeling. I’m 13, and I am so done with it all, I hate life and I wonder to myself everyday why life is so cruel. I’ve never known anything else other than keep it to myself, and sucking it up. The sad reality, I’ve come to realise is that this is a burden I will have to carry through my whole life. And when I remember my childhood, I’ll think “Jee-wiz, that was a cockup and a half.
Today it’s a holiday he told me he has some work so he went out . I called him just a minute ago and he is drunk in morning and even though I know and asked him why are you drunk he tells me that I haven’t drunk how can anyone deal with such people. I wish I had a good father. I have sat him with hours and hours and tell him to be better person and move forward and still he repeat the same thing again and again.
My father is a has been an aggressive alcoholic from the last 12yrs.. till the time I was a teenager.. he alleged my mother having intentions with my uncle and calls her a prostitute.. it has been 12years I am suffering.. my mother is a mental health patient.. bcz of my father’s aggressive and rude behavior towards all our relatives we are ashamed.. he creates his own problems, then calls up and screams upon every near and dear ones why they aren’t concerned.. I am not able to concentrate on my studies.. I’m also finding a job side by side but I’m not getting one .. I’m 26 years old.. he drinks and shouts,screams and breaks things every night after drinking.. and have tried to physically hurt and abuse my mother and me lot of times in the past.. I am suffering and don’t know what to do.. bcz of him also my mother has slipped into depression from the last 15years. Please help. I’m from India
My dad brought his flask and an ice chest full of beers to my birthday bbq last weekend. He got plastered and wanted to talk about all the poor ladies that are having the abortions they need taken away from them. He knows I had a miscarriage last year so while it’s a necessity for some, why would I want to talk about it… to bait me. I just walked away and we didn’t speak for the rest of the evening. He wound up yelking (yell/talking) at my husband and our friends about various political issues and my husband had a headache at the end of the evening. My husband is slowly coming around to see what I’ve always had to deal with. He thought I was just being dramatic about growing up with that guy, but the more he’s exposed to it, the more he believes I’m speaking the truth. My mom did nothing to help like always. I have a 4y/o and all this is just bringing up everything from my childhood. I don’t want to even be around him anymore. The only reason I am is so my son can hang out with his grandpa. If he’s going to act like this why should I expose him to the poor behavior of this alcoholic?… maybe he’ll learn what hell it is? a real life example of someone who can’t handle their own business.