Parenting is a crucial aspect of a family, but often, parents prioritize their children’s needs over their own. Tanika Masse, a psychologist, suggests that prioritizing one’s own needs can be beneficial for both children and the couple. Parenting involves thinking outside of oneself and not being selfish or putting one’s desires first. However, it can also lead to feelings of marginalization and trauma for children.
A recent study from the University of British Columbia found that parents who take a child-centric approach experience more positive emotions and are more likely to act on their best interests. It is important to prioritize marriage before putting children first in a marriage, as children will eventually leave the house. It is essential to prioritize the marriage before putting children first, as children will always leave the house one day.
Putting children’s needs first creates an authority imbalance, which can negatively impact the marriage and children in the long run. The idea that parents must give up their own desires to ensure the happiness of their children is outdated and incorrect. Parenting means thinking outside of oneself and not being selfish or putting one’s desires first. Maintaining supportive co-parenting is important for children, but it depends on the circumstances.
In conclusion, the relationship between parent and child is essential, but it is important to prioritize both the children and the marriage. By prioritizing the children’s needs and fostering supportive co-parenting, parents can create a more harmonious and fulfilling family life.
📹 Who comes first SPOUSE or KIDS?🤔#shorts #husbandwife #familyvideo
The debate over who receives priority in the household — wife, husband or kids — continues to be a thing on social media.
Should you put yourself first or your child?
Putting oneself first leads to a happier home, as it allows for self-care, connection with one’s true selves, and joy-inducing activities. This habit fosters a positive mood and respects one’s time, allowing children to understand that self-care is a priority. This mutual respect fosters a healthier environment, benefiting both parents and their children. As a result, the family becomes happier and healthier, benefiting from the shared experience of self-care. This approach is particularly beneficial for parents with tweens.
Should you always put your children first?
Tanika Masse, a psychologist specializing in children’s psychology, believes that parents prioritizing their own needs is beneficial for their children. She emphasizes the importance of self-care, urging parents to practice self-compassion, be kind to themselves, and let go of guilt or pressure to prioritize their own needs. Masse encourages parents to consider supporting HuffPost, which provides free, quality journalism that prioritizes people, starting at $2. This approach ensures a balance between family and personal needs, ultimately benefiting both parties.
Should I put my kids before my wife?
Psychologist Yvonne Thomas posits that prioritizing one’s spouse in a marriage with children is a more beneficial strategy for all family members, despite the apparent contradiction of prioritizing the children first.
Should you prioritize your partner or kids?
It is of the utmost importance to prioritize one’s marriage, as it existed before the arrival of children and will continue to exist even after they leave the family home. Failure to prioritize the marriage can result in difficulties when children leave the family home, as it allows them to focus on their own lives.
Should your relationship be your first priority?
Overemphasizing romantic relationships can lead to insecurity and jealousy. Prioritizing primary romantic relationships is crucial for most partners. If competing attachments threaten the relationship, it’s important to observe the situation objectively and conduct a reality check with an objective friend. Focusing too narrowly on problems can magnify them, so it’s crucial to prioritize the primary relationship.
Why is it important to put children first?
Involving children in decisions and making arrangements flexible can help them adapt to new situations. Child Inclusive Mediation allows children to discuss their wishes and feelings with a trained mediator, allowing them to have their views heard. This voluntary process requires both parents and the child to agree to a meeting with the mediator. The Family Mediation Council provides information on Child Inclusive Mediation for children and emphasizes that mediation is not only for adults. Ultimately, involving children in decisions and making arrangements flexible can help children adapt to new situations.
At what age do children need their mother the most?
Extensive closeness is crucial for a child’s development, especially from their mothers, beyond the first few months. Psychoanalyst and parenting expert Erica Komisar noticed an epidemic of emotionally troubled children suffering from the absence of their mothers, leading to conditions like ADHD, early childhood aggression, and social disorders. Research indicates that mothers play a critical role in a child’s first three years of life.
Should you put your relationship or kids first?
It is not uncommon for parents to prioritize their children over their spouse. However, prioritizing one’s partner can have a profound impact on the quality of the marriage and the well-being of the entire family. This natural instinct has the potential to result in a stronger bond and a more fulfilling life together.
Should parents prioritize their children?
Parents are inclined to prioritize their children’s needs and ensure their own needs are met. However, it is imperative to recognize the necessity of prioritizing their own needs as well. A parent who is struggling or unhappy is unable to provide the optimal level of care and guidance to their children.
Should husband or kids come first?
The author and their husband honeymooned in Italy with a tour group of 20 strangers, all decades older than them. They met an older couple who shared firsthand marriage advice, emphasizing that even after having kids, you should prioritize your marriage. The author, a young newlywed, was disbelieved, but his wife explained that eventually, your kids will start their own families, leaving you as the only one left by your side. This perspective on putting your children first may seem selfish, but it is a crucial aspect of a healthy marriage.
📹 When your PARTNER PRIORITISES their CHILD over YOU, the step-parent.
Your partner is in a pivotal position, balancing between their child and you heir partner. However there are different ways to …
He couldn’t have answered that any better. Alot of women prioritize their children over every relationship that’s why they can’t keep one. No REAL man is going to allow you to continue to abuse, neglect, and disrespect him. Christ, the man, the wife, the children, and in that order. This is biblical.
Depends on the situation at that moment. My friend was EXTREME with how she interpreted putting her husband “first.” We buried her this past February… beaten and shot to death by that same husband. Now her 4 kids who begged her REPEATEDLY to leave are left without their mother. She had 2 kids when they met and he treated the older one terribly. He slapped her in the face and my friend called it discipline. The child at that time was about 8. What about when there’s a child with special needs who many times takes A LOT of attention and energy and the husband feels neglected? It really comes down to what’s reasonable considering ALL circumstances.
I have heard this question posed before somewhere. A lot of the women who commented, said the child comes first. Now I am not married, nor do I have any kids. But to me, if a wife puts her children above her husband all of the time. The husband will feel neglected. If you were married before having kids, the only thing that should change once the kids come is the amount of time spent with your spouse. Naturally you will spend less time on dates and alone together, but you should still date one another and have adult time. When you start neglecting your marriage, it will suffer in the long run. I agree with what was said in this article. A healthy marriage/relationship will trickle down to the kids. Kids thrive in homes where there is unity and respect. Seeing your parents love one another always has a positive effect on children.
The Father said it 💯 💞 correctly. Before there where any Offspring him and her joined in a Covenant to become one flesh….so yes the Children are very important to building a family…but if the Husband and Wife Relationship isn’t placed front and center the Home breaks down and eventually will divide and they’ll go their separate ways and then Children are left in single family Homes 🏡
Where in the world did you get those kids from? Too wise too wise….Jenoah’s final statement hit the nail on the head……His brother also stated a true statement as well…. Sometimes a parent(s)put their children first 😢😢😢… All who have or had step kids know sometimes their needs come first…..Have a great day Amped House. 🙋😄. Great guestion.
It’s the weirdest question honestly but it’s just like the son said…it only really applies if somehow the kids and the marriage were pitted against each other somehow and then the spouse must make a decision on who to “prioritize”. But other than that, it’s not like we wake up everyday and say “forget my kid” my spouse is all I’m worried about…you still gotta take care of your kid even once you take care of your spouse. It’s a daily thing.
NO ONE JUST BE FIRST IN THE relationship if there is UNISON. It is a package. The main thing is RESPECT among each other and great communication. Once you start putting one person higher than the other you can create resentmrnt, conflict, and jealousy. And the idea of she LOVES her Man more than us. Feed everyone with LOVE WITHOUT making it obvious it’s the Adult Male. Am a single mom raising 2 daughters and I rather the FOCUS just on ME without their Dad because it avoids the conflicts of 2 parents.
the thrird young man seems to be applying his answer as if he was referring to a stepdad…a mom and dad that really love their children will most likely discipline them the same most dad say ask your mom …most moms are not going to allow harm to come to their children regardless if it’s the real dad or step-dad…this mom did an excellent job with her kids she really did…appears to be very loving and respectful children ❤️ 💖 💗
How could you ever prioritize your children too much? Kids don’t ask to be here. Maybe I’m thinking of the question in a different perspective but in real life situations the kids come first. My wife and I would have this understanding. Yes we entered a covenant but once that tiny life has entered into our “circle” both of us realize that we exist for them. That is what being a parent means. It means going to sleep hungry if you have to, as long as you know your kids are fed. It means putting yourself between your child and whatever may come, good, bad or indifferent. People that put their spouse over their children wind up getting put in nursing homes by those same children
Every situation is different. It depends on the age of the children. If it’s a minor child sorry my child come first. Never put a grown man or women first, that can do for themself. You bring a child into the world you are to raise them, you as their parent knowing they need care, attention and to be raised in a stable household. Grown children is a little different. Putting your spouse first there’s nothing wrong with that but everyone’s situation is different.😊
Kids come first, they have to. The kids need a certain amount of attention which obviously two working people wouldn’t understand. There has to be a balance but the kids must come first. Entering into a covenant has nothing to do with the reality of the day to day. Most neglect or compromise the well being of the children to please their spouse and that is wrong. The well being of the children should be put first by both people and they can also take care of each other, the spouse should not be neglected but realistically they cannot come first.
This Question is a 2 sided question One side asks for priority, which can only be asked if one of the 3 participants are in a situation that requires your attention the most. The other side asks for a more generalized biblical order of the 3 participants. Side A: The Biblical order Who Comes First, Spouse, Kids, or Parents? God secures your marriage, your bond till death. You & your spouse secures your kids till they leave your home. Your Kids will always be taken care of by you and your spouse. Benefits the most in a healthy spousal relationship. Your Parents are relieved from their duty and can enjoy the rest of their life. Side B: Who Comes First, Spouse, Kids, or Parents? This question usually lingers toward a question that most people ask: “If your Spouse, Kids, or your Parents are in danger, who do you prioritize first?” That is another question entirely and would depend on the level of extremism in the word “Danger”. The order of that answer will fall to the morality of the individual. Some would say, Child, Spouse, Parents Others would say, Spouse, Child, Parents etc. Regardless of the answer, the priority of the 3 doesn’t seem to matter because the context of the question doesn’t seem to hint that all 3 are in a certain amount of danger than will be fatal. So no matter who you prioritize, they will all eventually be saved. Now if the question had a Fatal outcome, then there would be no need to ask “Who comes first” because that implies that others will be included. That’s not the case in a fatal situation.
The answer to this question is in the Bible. Mathew 19:5-6 For this cause a Man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one. The husband is the Head of the home and therefore he comes first in everything. America is the only society where I’ve lived and see that folks refuse to accept the leadership of the Husband/Man. The Husband is the Head and he comes first. This is how Almighty God designed it.🙏🏽 The Husband and the Wife takes care of their children and provide for them.
It changes throughout life. When one gets married, the hubby. Then, Kids until they enter adulthood. They are fully dependent on our decisions and mistakes. While, the adults have already forged their past, present & still working on their future. It’s then their turn and when they leave, as it changes again. Then, we get older and we become their priority for a little bit of time until we pass on. And, what if a child (even in adulthood) gets sick? The important thing is that the egos involved understand that life is full of change. That requires adaptability and unconditional love.
I totally agree with dad. They are the roll models and should lead by example. But the Middle makes sense as well! When everyone respects one another, the problem may never come up. The family makes my day!! The world is full of hate and ugliness. The Amped Family is full of love, happiness and much respect one for another. I enjoy @theAmpedFamily!
May God continue to bless this family with everything they need. Father Blessed them with wisdom, supernatural, divine intelligence, revelation and knowledge, and spiritual discernment. Blessed And will appreciate health, peace and joy and of course prosperity in Jesus name I pray this prayer over your family Touch and Agree with me. Amen. Amen. Amen.
This family’s responses have blessed me today!! What a lovely group of Black excellence!! My opinion is that the spouse is first. Predicated on the fact the union must be loving, committed to God, and living a healthy and supportive life for one another, no matter if the family is blended or biologically all the same children belong to them both, there must be equity hands down. If the parents are godly, healthy, wise, and share a well-spring of wealth in all areas of their lives…the children are BLESSED beyond measure because the parents take good care of themselves as well as one another so they can be excellent distributors of great goodness to their children. AND the spouses stick together in all decisions of righteousness too! 💁🏾♀️❤
Ephesians 5:22-24 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything
Dad’s answer is right. 2nd son is right too. There shouldn’t be any long-standing conflicts or power struggles in the family. God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit all work together in perfect unity and harmony. the model for the family dynamic. Not sure if I will ever know this dynamic in this life, but it is beautiful to see families that may actually live like this.
Responsibility without authority is slavery period. I won’t be made to feel responsible having to put out my resources and time just to be disrespected. If I get disregarded then I withhold my attention and my finances I’m not being hateful in anyway I’m only stepping back so that real daddy can do his job (he doesn’t never has not a Penny) my wife doesn’t like it but I’ve told her I ain’t no atm nor will I be disrespected they can just get to moving on down the road if that leaves a bad taste in there mouth. I’m at a point of giving zero f_cks now
I was pushed out of the home in the middle of the night and barricaded not to come back in. It was a 2.5 year relationship and slavery to cook and clean for his kids just to get kicked out in the middle of h to e night by his kids over one argument with their dad who brought the bedroom argument to living room
Asking the stepparent to lead an independent life and to step aside sounds like a recipe for disaster for a healthy marriage. How/why/in what universe is the wife being independent and having a separate life from the husband ever a productive strategy to promote a healthy and close marriage. This sounds like last-resort advice that would create resentment in the stepparent.
I’m almost to the point of no return, been with my lady for three years since her son was only 2 months old. Baby father never did shit for his son and very unstable financial in his own life. I’ve taken care of them, built a bond with her son and even claim him as mine.. love him and always thinking of ways to be there for him. His mother told me to my face a week ago her child will always come first no matter the situation & it crushed me.. I’ve poured all my emotions, money, time, effort.. it got so bad that I said why can’t we both be equal because I understand the need for a mother to protect her cubs… can we both prioritize each other & him equally? She looked at me like I was crazy and said I’m in competition with her son, I’m grown & shouldn’t need attention & I sound jealous……. Like something is wrong with me smh….. my soul is crushed beyond words because for 3 years I’ve made them my top priority….. but I guess that’s what I get for trying to fix a broken home with love…. I get heartbroken.
Hi. I am at my wits end. I have been with my partner for 5 years. He has 3 sons and I have 1. All are grown up now. His youngest works abroad 8 months and then comes home for 4 months. He insists that his son must stay with us for those 4 months. This does not sit well with me. Not only do I cover 80% of our expenses but I also do all the cooking and cleaning and I have a full time job. I feel this is intrusive as our daily habits are changed and I never know when he will be here for meals or sleeping over. He comes and goes as he pleases. I feel like a boarding house. My partner does not want to discuss the situation and I am already stressed even though his son won’t be back for 6 months. What can I do??
I tried for 2 yesrs but spoilt step daughter tried to play us against each other and trying to say im making her jealous if i played with her brother – i have now in 3rd year together seperated myself from being around when he sees his kids & do my own thing. As like you said i was being disrespected because he didn’t discipline the girl & didn’t want to upset her over me!! She would totally ignore me and not even say hello to me in my house & made funny faces at me – she has a very jealous streak & hascto be centre of attention all the time. Horrible negative energy no matter how nice you was to her…. I got fed up spending my days off listening to her whinging & whining over almost everything 🙄 so now im not around when he sees his kids!!! THE GAMES END WHEN YOU STOP PLAYING & REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE SITUATION 💯 Especially if your partner doesn’t discipline or allow the bad behaviour to carry on 🙃
My partner bought a small farm3 years ago, but has encouraged all her sibling to move in..none of them have any money so what ever we produce on the farm from my hard work goes straight into there houses and she always defends them to the hilt, I’m devastated but left a week ago after 4 years of putting up with this sort of behaviour…
People in comments seem to think prioritising your children means indulging their every whim, how bizarre! Of course dependents need to be prioritised over an adult who can take care of themself! It’s literally your legal responsibility as a parent. Which relationship would you be most likely to end? It’s always going to be the adult one, your children and your children forever! They can’t go and find new parents but your partner can leave and find a new partner of they’re not happy.
PARENTS SHOULD NEVER PRIORITISE THEIR CHILDREN FROM ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP IF THEY WANT A NEW RELATIONSHIP, THEREBY MESSING THE NEW PARTNER’S LIFE AROUND. THEY SHOULD REMAIN SINGLE! THE CHILD IS NOT ABOVE THE RELATIOBSHIP. NO ONE DESERVES A CRAP LIFE WHERE THE BRAT IS CONSIDERED “IMPORTANT”. ABSOLUTE RUBBISH!!!
You are basically asking parents to stop caring about their own kids because another adult in the house is feeling insecure. Why have children then? Just don’t. These parents will one day be lamenting over the fact that their children went no contact with them. Are you really helping or destroying the lives of kids who have no choice in the matter?
A child is a child, of course it’s going to take precedence over you… this doesn’t mean your not noticed or loved, it simply means that he/she is a kid and your a grown ass adult who can fend for themselves. I’m very sorry to say, but at the end of the day all I see here is a bunch of adults in competition with children..
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Children Ollwaves Set Us Up Unintentionally to make us feel the Exact Same way tha wee have been making them feel that they r a mirror focus on what eu can do differently to change the way that eu now knoe that eu r making them feel instead of asking the Reflection in the mirror to change
I think what doesn’t get talked about enough is the single mother that is open to a new relationship leading on to being secure and have a structured family balance. As a man in the relationship dating a single mother it’s wrong that you can support the mother and love them and try to learn to love her kids and provide for them the same way you would your own giving all the benefits of a dad but get rejected by default and then the rejection being justified by the mother. With time you notice that the position you fill is ultimately to be an added resource to her children although there fathers still provide and pay child support regardless of how much they pay. It’s frustrating to look at the situation and not be able to feel any other way except used, there’s no worst feeling than providing for a kid when you have your own mouths to feed that don’t live with you and feel guilty because that kid doesn’t even like or appreciate you for no apparent reason. I don’t say this to say it’s not to be expected to give an effort as a step parent but what is a step parent to do when the mother never establishes the value of you in her new relationship because for most men it’s needless to say that her kids are a packaged deal. What happens when a child resents the entire situation and tries to provoke drama or claims they do not like you but can’t explain why. This has been my personal experience so my reaction to this was to just give space but it was seen as the wrong thing to do because I didn’t try hard enough to establish a bond.
Raised two stepchildren from ages four and five after birth mom abandoned them. Male has autism, female is manipulative. Both ar3 adults now but female seems to despise me and cussed me and yelled at me. I have been completely gone for three years now. She is in her late 20s, has been attending community college 6 years, no degree or qualifications met. Works part time gathering buggies at Food City grocery store. I gave up good jobs in past to stay with them while their dad worked. Talk about feeling unappreciated! I never had natural kids of my own. Now I am on my own an$ he is stuck with spoiled, entitled, disrespectful lazy adult kids in his middle age.
My h is so disinterested in treating my two kids like his own that i feel like I’m forced to live a life that is too independent . I feel like I have a husband but I’m still a single mum. I wanted us to blend and be a family unit but my husband isn’t interested anymore and it’s probably happened because he’s detached from making any effort with my kids – I’m Not as strict with my kids or my step kids as he’d like me to be as I feel like he’s too far the other way and can be too strict and so he’s basically detached to the point I don’t think he can really care about me either because he’s so disinterested in my kids and doesn’t try to hide that he favours his own kids. It’s sad and depressing and it’s happened because he’s basically done what you advise and I’ve been force to too
I don’t live with my partner we have been together a very long time her 50 year old son has moved back home 3 times following relationship breakdowns. I now rarely see her as his kids come over and stay weekends and take up all her time and energy. He’s not interested in finding his own home the effect on our relationship is dreadful and he don’t care we are not young people sadly she lets him rule the day no boundaries in place and I am expected to pick up what’s left. I feel like walking this time as much as it hurts me I can’t see any hope for the future of us as he is now feet firmly under the table with no ambition to change his life.
Awful piece of advice. As a step child, I have experienced a parent trying to solely discipline a child without letting the step parent also take up this role. What came of this was my step parent being emotionally unavailable with me for many many years and completely neglecting me, eventually ruining all of the family’s relationships. I was never rude or obnoxious or distant with my stepfather even though he has always treated me as inferior. Just because a step parent doesn’t get their way of raising the step child, it doesn’t give them any right to be so emotionally cold and dissociative with the child. Ar the end of the day the step parent is an adult who should have more of an understanding of how they treat a child through their adolescence will ultimately shape their entire lives…
All he says is “whatever my son wants, is whatever he’ll get.” and “My son doesn’t want to meet you, so I’ll have to slip you in when I can”. 2 and a half years. No room for compromise. I’m sick of sitting out on weekends when he takes his spoilt brat son to various places around town. Lets his son have days off when he’s “sick” even on Mondays when they had been out on the weekend. I know for a fact is son lies to spend more time with him. I’m calling it out for what it is. I am sick of it. How does a 12 year old BRAT call the shots on our relationship?
My husband has a 13yr old that has been living with us for 4 months, she has no home training which she practically raise herself. My husband has been out of her life for some years now i feel like he thinks that he owes her something is the reason why he doesn’t discipline her and when i talk about her having chores or just cleaning up behind herself or just simply making up her bed well its a no go. We haven’t even been married a year yet and I’m feeling like we’re not gonna make it. We’re pulling two different ways I’m about discipline and he let her slide with everything.
I m dating a men whoa dovorced and have a 10 year son but he lives with hes mom now hes asking me to maary him i dont kno i feel jealous and hate towards his son coz m only 25 years grl i hate the feel of being a step mom i decided i ll sent my bf to other countrt thn only marry oresle i cant deal with baby momma drama