Uninvolved parenting, also known as neglectful parenting, is a style where parents are emotionally detached and exhibit little to no involvement in their child’s life. This lack of responsiveness to a child’s needs or involvement in their life can lead to negative consequences. There is no single “right” way to parent, as it depends on factors such as cultural background, parental expectations, and the child’s needs.
Research by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s identified three main parenting styles: authoritative, indulgent, and authoritative. However, absent parenting does not necessarily mean physical absence; it is understood as a parent’s emotional unavailability, lack of active involvement, and responsiveness to the child’s needs. Uninvolved parenting often only provides essentials like food, shelter, and clothing.
Neglectful parenting is defined by a lack of parental interest or responsiveness to a child. This dissertation examines authorized and unauthorized school absenteeism, focusing on both excessive and day-to-day absenteeism. Uninvolved parenting is characterized by low emotional responsiveness, lack of supervision and support, and a lack of supervision and support.
Uninvolved parents set few boundaries or expectations for their children, are emotionally distant, and unaffectionate. This style has significant negative impacts on children’s development and well-being. As children do not come with manuals, parents often struggle to determine how to raise mentally strong, well-rounded, and successful kids.
📹 6 Signs You Were Raised By an Absent Parent
The four parenting styles are: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive and Neglectful (absent). In this video, we cover the effects of …
What attachment style is abandonment?
Abandonment issues are linked to insecure attachment styles, which are characterized by difficulty forming stable relationships with others. Some individuals with abandonment issues may push away others, remain guarded, and avoid opening up, while others may become needy and codependent. To deal with these issues, it is essential to assist others with abandonment and seek help when needed. Dr. Benjamin Troy, a child and adolescent psychiatrist with over 10 years of experience, specializes in treating various mental health disorders, including depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, OCD, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and ASD.
What is an uninvolved parent style?
Uninvolved parents provide children with freedom and fulfill their basic needs while remaining detached from their lives. They do not use a specific disciplining style and have limited communication with their child. They offer little nurturing and have little expectations. Children of uninvolved parents are typically resilient and self-sufficient, but may struggle with controlling emotions, coping strategies, academic challenges, and maintaining social relationships.
Clinical significance lies in the impact of a parent’s upbringing style on a child’s behaviors and actions as they age. Factors such as therapy, culture, job, and social circle can further shape their behavior. Addressing health outcomes related to a patient’s parents’ upbringing style is crucial, especially in behavioral and psychological intervention. Identifying and addressing issues related to a patient’s parents’ upbringing style is crucial for improving health outcomes.
What is the unhealthiest attachment style?
Unhealthy attachment styles include anxious, disorganized, and avoidant ones, which often lead to anxiety, emotional pain, and distress. These styles can result in reliance on others or avoid seeking help, such as hyper-independence. Developing healthy relationships can be challenging in childhood and adulthood, but attachment styles can change over time and effort. It is essential to recognize and address these insecure attachment styles.
What is absent parenting?
An absent parent is a parent who is not living with their child, often due to divorce, separation, or if one parent is not involved in their child’s life. They are also known as noncustodial parents, as they do not have primary custody of the child. The custodial parent is responsible for providing care to the child, and it is crucial for children to have a relationship with both parents, even if they don’t live together. For example, John and Sarah, who are divorced, have Sarah having primary custody of their child, while John is an absent parent due to his lack of primary custody.
What are the disadvantages of uninvolved parenting?
Uninvolved parenting negatively impacts children’s social skills, self-esteem, and confidence, leading to poor social competence and psychosocial development. Lack of guidance can result in negative behavior towards others. Children may become stubborn and difficult to deal with due to not being used to authoritative figures. Additionally, children of parenting styles associated with low responsiveness (authoritarian and uninvolved) tend to have poor academic performance and low creativity.
What is the least effective parenting style?
Neglectful parenting often leads to resilient and self-sufficient children, but they may struggle with emotional control, coping strategies, and maintaining social relationships. They may also have low self-esteem and seek inappropriate role models. An example of neglectful parenting is when uninvolved parents don’t buy groceries or plan meals consistently, leading to preoccupation with food and overeating. However, these children often have an easier time leaving home when it’s time.
It’s important to remember that no parenting style is guaranteed to produce perfectly adjusted children, and everyone experiences difficulties. It’s unrealistic to assume that a parenting decision is the reason for a child’s difficulties.
What happens to children with absent mothers?
Parents who are absent during childhood can lead to affective deficiency in their children, resulting in feelings of discomfort, loneliness, and emptiness. This lack of parental role models affects the child’s personality and affectivity, leading to feelings of low self-esteem, difficulty managing emotions, and negative outcomes such as sadness, depression, poor academic performance, and lack of motivation. Insecurity can be masked with overconfidence, arrogance, aggressiveness, or rebelliousness as a way to cover up painful feelings.
To avoid being an absent parent, children need to spend quality time with their parents, including physical contact and participation in activities like cooking. Azucena Díez, a pediatrician and psychiatrist, suggests compensating for the lesser amount of time with quality time and paying full attention to their children. In cases where parents have to be absent due to work or caring for others, Díez provides several guidelines, including:
- Establish a routine and stick to it.
- Avoid multitasking and focus on one task at a time.
What are the 4 parenting styles?
There are four main parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful. Each style can be used in different situations, such as when safety is at stake or when a teenager needs help. Parents should recognize their own limits and give themselves a break when they are their best self. Authoritative parenting is considered the ideal style due to its combination of warmth and flexibility, while still ensuring that the parents are in charge.
Children of authoritative parents know what is expected of them, and their parents explain reasons for the rules and consequences for breaking them. They also listen to their child’s opinions, but the parent remains the ultimate decision maker. It is essential for parents to give themselves a break and recognize their own limits when implementing these parenting styles.
Is an absent parent trauma?
The father wound, also known as “daddy issues”, is a type of childhood trauma that can occur when a father is emotionally or physically absent or highly critical of their children. This can lead to a strained or dysfunctional relationship with the father, which can negatively impact the child’s development and overall well-being. According to the 2022 U. S. Census Bureau, approximately one in four children in the U. S. are raised in households without a father.
Other causes of the father wound include not living with the father or having access to a positive male role model, abuse, neglect, and a strained relationship with the father. Coping with this type of childhood trauma is crucial for a child’s development and overall well-being.
What attachment style is an absent parent?
Attachment theory, a crucial theory, suggests that family relationships significantly impact lifelong well-being. It suggests that children’s attachment patterns can be influenced by their interactions with parents and other significant figures. When parents are absent or unreliable, children may develop anxious or avoidant attachment patterns, leading to feelings of rejection, abandonment, and withdrawal.
Conversely, children with reliable, supportive parents develop a secure attachment, allowing them to explore the world more confidently. Attachment anxiety and avoidance can be detrimental to psychological well-being, as supported by empirical research in children, adolescents, and adults.
However, most research on attachment to fathers remains limited, leading to a lack of understanding of how attachment relationships with fathers differ from those with mothers and their combined impact on development. Recent increases in research on attachment to fathers may signal a shift in understanding.
One of the most important questions regarding paternal attachment is how the effects of paternal attachment stack up to those of maternal attachment, and if these relationships are interdependent. Van Ijzendoorn and colleagues proposed four conceptual “multiple-caregiver” models to help consider these possibilities.
What is the best parenting style?
Research in the latter half of the 20th century identified four main parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and distant. Authoritative parenting is considered the most effective, providing children with security and support. However, incorporating permissive or authoritarian elements into a balanced approach can be beneficial for children with atypical needs.
Authoritative parenting combines warmth and accessibility with moderate discipline. Parents explain their rules and limits, and remain open to discussing fairness of consequences. Once rules and consequences are established, authoritative parents remain firm and consistent. They aim to keep children safe and teach socially appropriate behaviors without unnecessary strictness or pressure. By providing frequent explanations and realistic expectations, authoritative parents provide children with the information and space to learn independent decision-making skills.
📹 10 Characteristics Of Highly Toxic Parents
DISCLAIMER: This video is for educational purposes only. This video is not a substitute for professional diagnosis, advice, …
Dependant whether it is a mother figure or a father figure, a person can lack understanding for certain parts of life Some of those are – Neediness – Emotionally unavailable and avoidant nature – Underlying anger and resentment – Socially awkward and lacking ability to connect with others The realisation is the biggest step towards change
Idk if my dad was actually absent because he was physically present,he’d joke with me and I can’t say I relate to anything in this vid,but I have a hard time talking and connecting with him.Even though we spent alot of time together,it wasn’t quality time at all.And most of the time,I’d make a minor mistake or just a common one and instead of telling me what I did wrong,he’d laugh at me and call me “stupid”.He’d always talk more to my mum or my brother and he was always way more proud and had way more fun with my bro than with me,if he even had any fun with me or if he was ever proud of me. I admit it,I didn’t show him much interest either,but mostly because I just felt he simply didn’t care,which is also how he felt but as a lil’ kid I couldn’t understand that. Now we’re good though.We’re still not as close as your usual father and daughter but we’re getting there.
my forever friend has both absent parents, she never sees her father, her mother, however, is present financially, but she ignores her most of the time. We are 17 now and we are friends since we are 5, but I hope I helped her becoming a better person because, for having both absent parents, she turns out to not being that bad. Maybe I could have “replaced” some of the parental roles? Anyway I love her and wish her the best
I really think you guys should do a article on an emotionallly absent parent that lived in the household with you. This happens so much, and the suffering is worse because you are looking at the parent every day as a kid, yet that parent has almost no response to you or time spent with you. Then you are a young adult with at least some of the issues you listed in this article. Thanks 🙂
My parents were most of the time physically there but not emotionally, which definitely affected my mental health. Luckily I’m currently working on improving my mental health with a therapist and it’s been very helpful. articles like psych2go and psychology articles(such as psycology times) are very useful resources too! Never give up and you’re not alone in this❤❤🌻🌻🌻
SIGNS ONE WAS RAISED BY AN ABSENT PARENT (CONSEQUENCES). An absent parent is defined as a parent who has no contact with their child. An example is a divorced parent or a dead one. 1) Lower happiness and confidence skills :- having present parents is vital to children’s happiness. Children with absent parents tend to feel less fulfilled, do poorer in maths. 2) Affects their brains:- Larger brain areas related to emotions are found in children with absent parent. Because of delayed maturation of the brain 3) Worst mental health:- Absent father figure is negative on kids brains. Same with mother. 4) Substance abuse:- People with absent parents are more likely to smoke and drink as well as other substance abuse problems. Alcohol and illicit drugs. 5) Lower educational attainment:- Overall, being from a single parent family affects schooling, elementary and high school affects achievement in school. The family with absent parents are less resilient.Also race and age influences schooling. 6) Strained relationships :- Ladies with fathers absent during childhood tend to have sex earlier and have lovers easily without caution because they need emotional attachment (romantic attraction). In summary, divorce affects the family much deeper than you would want to believe.
My father is absent but like When my parents divorced, we still kept in touch. But eventually he stopped paying bills, stopped coming to award evenings, and stopped caring. Then one day I gave him a card for Father’s Day and he literally just threw it in the car. From that day on I never spoke to him. I pushed him away because I felt that it was what was best for my sanity and happiness
Most of my life, both my parents are absent in the most memorable times. Like going to a family event, they’re not present which only end up of me being in an awkward position since my friend’s parents are present. I understand both of them are busy to the point that I am confident they won’t be able to attend a Family Meeting or family event. But when they’re present, it’ll be awkward with more awkward convos, we often end up sitting on the sideline perusal others happily enjoying.
My dad’s present physically but not emotionally. He’s autistic like me so I guess it kinda makes sense that it’s hard for him to connect with people but god damn he doesn’t even respond to me when any topics related to my emotions come up. He yells at me about how he’s annoyed or he’s angry or he’s blah blah blah but the moment I want to /compromise/ about something that I don’t agree with he shuts off and doesn’t say anything or look at me. This has made it hard for me to be able to connect with people in general and I always feel like I’ve done something wrong when I share my feelings with anyone. Thanks dad, for uh, ya know, not getting help for your own issues.
Does this also apply to Overseas Working Parent? I mean.. I know that my relationship with my parents should be better since we’re far apart, but I noticed, as I grow older during my teenage years I’ve grown distant and I rarely contact them.. it’s inconsistent. Maybe because I’ve come to the awkward phase in my life when I don’t want to open up to them anymore. I find myself depending on myself and even to my sibling instead.. growing with my own self values and even going into lots of trouble for my own self-knowledge. I mean.. I miss them but sometimes we had a lot of misunderstandings and conflict which is why I could rarely contact them. I don’t blame them for my personal issues but it seems like I do really need them. And it’s complicated.
Yep my parents were absent emotionally……and couldn’t be bothered to make time to spend time with us. I learnt more and experienced more from my friends parents who actually involved me more and took me out. I now seem to be with a guy who is emotionally absent and almost exactly like my mum. How can I be attracted to someone who is so emotionally cool, dismissive and critical like my mum! Thanks mum for setting my standards so low so I don’t even feel worthy of better treatment or even knowing what it feels like to be treated like I’m worthy.
I didn’t have a father growing and never was the type to fall in love quickly or kiss on the first date. I always liked to get to know someone before hand as somewhat a friend. I’m a virgin in my twenties. I don’t act on lustful emotions. Despite,having a mother. She wasn’t around as much. My grandmother(nanna) raised my mostly into the person I am today. Although I had to figure alot on my own. Like the fact that I’m a pansexual and me building up my own self confidence in a place where being a black female wasn’t the best. But that’s a whole other story for another time.
My father left my mother 1 month before I was born. I have’ nt had much contact with him. I recognize a lot of what they are telling here. I have never married. Not long lasting relationships. I was average in school. Have had difficulties with education, job/ carrer. Low self esteem. My life has not been easy.
My family was a mess when I was growing up (still is). Parents had divorced, and my dad wasn’t really around much, but, even though I was with my mom, turns out she wasn’t really around much either. Certainly not for me (she was for my sister). Not entirely sure what parts of this list actually apply to me though. Probably the educational thing, since after elementary, grades were pretty much downhill, though I suspect it’s more with the school system than lack of proper parents but, who knows.
I was adopted at birth. My mom was a senior executive, travelling the US most of my early development years. My dad was a teacher, basically raised me, though he too was very busy. My dad and mom did their best. Unfortunately, I feel there is some cog missing in my ability to have healthy relationships. I have Avoidance Personality Disorder tendencies where I feel a very strong urge to be alone most of the time. This was true, even when I had a partner. I would often push away and pull towards my partners. They often dont understand why.. sad thing is, neither do I… After I was cheated on by my last partner of 5 years, I handled the rejection very hard and was suicidal because of it. I abused alcohol, food, and tobacco to try and fill the void. I know I’m not alone, but its miserable living wanting deep connection while simultaneously pushing away potential relationships for fear of abandonment and rejection. :/
My parents divorced when I was 12. My mother left instead of my father. She is a good person but had a lot of troubles. (Debts, gambling, cheating) I started wearing boys clothes for a year and didn’t know why. I felt so empty and weird. I’m almost 27 today and the last few years have been weird. My moods have not been stable. I’ve said horrible things to people that I care about and had to apologize later. I can meet a new person that I like and very quickly become intensely attached to that 1 specific person. I will get tense and depressed if I don’t hear from them for a day & that 1 specific person seems to be my only happiness and I wouldn’t know what to do if they were gone, but I do not feel the same intense level of emotional attachment to the other people in my life that I love. 🙁 (That special person that I feel such intense emotions for is usually somebody I don’t even know well!) 😬 Is there something wrong with me?
This was painful to watch on my birthday. At 4-years-old, I was raised by my aunt while my parents were working in another country to “provide for us better”… but that was a cover-up I found out only 21 years later (I confirmed with them that it was the case). I reunited with them after high-school, went to a university, and graduated with honors while being on the Dean’s list. I was also invited to an international society that university students can enter only through the sponsorships of staff. And they don’t do that by the student’s request. My “childhood” (honestly feels like I never had one. Can you imagine your first “adult task” is to accept living without your parents as a child?) has left me with no “sense of belonging.” It”s hard to describe, but it’s a sense that everything will be okay no matter what because there’s a safe place to go home to where there are people who love, accept, and support you. However, in January, I realized that I can make that sense, make my own home, surrounding myself with people who love, care, and accept me for who I am. And I had to find them. Make things work. I’m even trying to form a bond with my parents, who I know are imperfect as any other parent. I was only fortunate that I never gave up fighting for myself, improving myself. This article makes it sound like people like me will forever have a bleak future, that there’s nothing good or positive that will come out of us. However, I believe no matter what other article, article, speech, or whatever source says, anyone can have power over their future so long as they develop and believe in themselves.
I grew up without my dad. He migrated to Dubai to work there for me when I was around 5 or 6 years old. When I was around 16 I lost my grandpa and grandma then suddenly my dad cut our monthly allowance so I was forced to drop out of school for 2 years. My mental health also took a hit when my dad cut my allowance off. It left me untrusting and I would always overthink situations that were unlikely to happen. I also had a change of appetite from a ravenous wolf to a picky eater. I lost most of my weight because of it and I also rarely slept. I’m doing fine as of now (20 years old on my birthday) and I’m currently on my 2nd year as a Senior High School student and I have good grades ranging from 80-90 but I still struggle with overthinking from time to time.
My parents werent really there for me as a child neither as a kid. I never really had anyone to rely on and often felt lonely and empty inside. I always want my parents to comfort me when im crying instead of laughing at me. I know alot of you can relate this is a vent comment sorry if this comment may trigger anyone in a certian way sorry. and i know other people like you have it worse
haha. That is another episode of : Daddy issues. 😂😅 My middle sister is clearly in denial. she ran straight to alcohol, drugs, and moved away. And my older sister is basically my 2nd mom, because she helped my mom raise my other siblings and me. my dad always appears and disappears from my life. He has his own family yet he wants to get back with my mom ._. But currently, he is helping with my 15th birthday party…. I am semi glad that my brother spends time with his dad, even if he is a real douche bag.. he too wants to get back with my mom, but my mom is off limits (she is still single but she don’t want no man) and are you sure that women are easily able to get into a romantic relationship? Because tbh, I don’t find anyone attractive (well at least right now I dont) or worthy enough of my time.
My dad doesn’t seem a part of my life much even though he’s not an absent parent. He’s always up at like 4 am to go to work and gets back at night time usually so we don’t talk much. I feel like he’s absent a lot. Then there’s sleepless nights of parents fighting at night. Mum is trying her best to divorce him anyway….
Thank you for this because most of my life my father was absent and, or emotionally abusive to me and my mother, not that long ago i got to tell him how i felt about him but he would never listen and instead say hurtful things to me, so knowing how much an absent parent can effect a childs health really makes me think that I dont need him at all and I just need the people who actually care for me, thank you for helping me realize that. <3
My father is more like a stranger that’s living in our house, after my mom died, he became more unstable. He’s very dependent with my mom while she was still alive. He doesn’t have a job and he doesn’t take care of himself, I don’t show much interest on him because he doesn’t give a damn about me or my siblings. The only one taking care of us are our grandparents. It feels like I’m walking in egg shells around him. It just feels horrible when I’m with him. He feels more like a stranger than a parent
My father was absent and I visited him every summer. He’s the cause of my BPD and I still love him… tell me why I still want his approval after all the damage he’s done? I just cut him out. He unfriended me on Facebook without conversation I’m tired of feeling invisible. It’s been this way ever he had a new kid. Just because you get a chance to do shit over better doesn’t give you the right to forget about your other kids.
This hit home for me on a number of levels. I grew up without a dad, and my mother was sick in bed and was unable to take care of my brother and I so a neighbor ended up taking care of us. She was a single mother too so it was hard. Regarding grades and academic achievement I can say first hand that it’s not because we are typically dumber, that’s not true at all in fact we are as smart as anyone else, but seeing other family’s stay together and see other kids with parents that care about you and are willing to go the extra mile for them takes a toll on you if you never had that. We stop caring about academics because we don’t see the point and are too hurt to do anything. Growing up in the 90s people thought I was “retarded was the language back then” so teachers put me in detention so I wouldn’t bother the other kids. For the entirety of middle school I’d spend the day in detention in tears because no one cares even after learning about my situation. I feel for everyone who had this happen to them, and it bothers me it still happens to a lot of people nowadays.
My father was barely in my life, and my mum was emotionally absent (while she was always physically present). I have depression, OCD, slight anxiety, I left school when I was 14, and I hate myself. I’m very unusual and creative, but academically, I’m an idiot for the most part. This article made me feel twice as trashy. I don’t really talk about this stuff much, but I just felt the need to say it. I don’t care if anyone reads this, but if you got this far, thank you.
To all those with absentee or abusive parents growing up. Remember, it’s not your fault, you were the child in the relationship and no matter how young they were when they had you, they were the adults and the ones with the responsibility for you. Not the other way around. To all those victims of that type of family life that now are considering having or do have children. You might be ill equipped to know what it means to be a parent based on your own upbringing, simply take the responsibility seriously and be involved with your children in the way your parents never were. You’ll already do better with that foundation of desire to be better in the way your parents never could.
Yep, it’s all true. My mom went crazy when I was four, and in her madness she divorced my dad and ran off with another man. Tried to take me and my sister with her, but luckily didn’t get away with it. She got custody of me several years later, but she didn’t deserve it. The damage was done, and I eventually moved out anyway. So yeah, I grew up ages 4 to 12 without my mother, and now I’m 31 years old and have still never been in a relationship before. She really crippled me. If there’s one thing I want to say to people, it’s this: once you commit yourself to somebody, STAY committed to them and DON’T DIVORCE.
This was a really amazing article, I felt identified with most of the points here except for number 4, when I was younger I used to study with my mother and my father was almost all the time out of the house, when he was in the house he was just sleeping and only in Sundays he had lunch with the rest of the family, but after sometime my mother started to get more work and couldn’t be with my siblings and I as much as she used to though I felt really close to her, but it was the opposite with my father, after sometime things changed and now he is more at home but he still is not close with me or my siblings, it fells like he was always absent even if he was there For the relationships part, I can say that I crush easily on anyone that treats me like they care about me, but I can hardly talk to people so it’s hard for me to get in a relationship Sorry for the long text and my bad English, but thanks to anyone who read it and hope you have a great day
This has mostly nothing to do with the article, but I was hoping if anyone had advice for this certain situation: 1. Your parents are choosing between two schools (they refuse to have any other option) 2. The first school has the perfect academic needs for you but you know that it has a high chance of ruining your emotional and mental stability. 3. The second school has an absolutely horrible academic needs but will either improve your emotional and mental stability. Any advice or suggestions as to what to do? Please reply if you do.
After my parents divorced, my dad got custody of me and my siblings, while my mother stayed in South Korea, in compliance with her doctor’s recommendation. My dad treated me better than he treated my siblings, but he was pretty inactive in my life, not doing much beyond providing me some basics and treats. He was known to get irrational when upset and have unreasonable expectations on other members of the family. I lost a lot of respect for my dad when he disowned my sister for no good reason, and he was incredibly reluctant to reveal his financial information when I needed to apply for financial aid for college. My mother, by contrast, was physically absent for most of my life (she did visit me twice, though), but she looked out for me the best she can, while being on the other side of the world. My dad stopped contacting me sometime after I moved in with my sister during my college years, but I still message my mother sometimes. If my mother got custody of me and my siblings, then things might’ve been different, but having my dad physically absent from my life still would’ve messed me up. All the same, I guess it’s no wonder that I have trouble dealing with my negative emotions and difficult situations.
My parents were never married, barely together long enough for my mom to get pregnant and he didnt want me until i was 3 when a dna test proved i was his. He eventually took me from my mom, isolated me a lot and got mad when i dont ask him for help even though he almost never helps me. He barely sticks around at any of my events growing up, leaving my graudation early when family was trying to get pics. That was the first time he ever told me he was proud of me. Very few people know this about me.
Im jeffery, I have been with my mom for most of my young life, since I was age of 7 we left my toxic father/who always emotionally abused my mom, my other siblings and I, about our interests and choices, he was also a control freak, monitoring every single thing in the house rooms excluding the restrooms, We always moved from single to single because being close to her/moms, friends was more important for her than a stable permanent residence. Therefore I changed schools quite frequently and soon becoming isolationist, I didn’t see the point in making friends if I knew I was going to move away in a year so I later became toxic about everything no matter how good it was you just didn’t heal the fact I never had a stable relationship with either of my parents. I am soon to move away back to l.a from Sun valley because my moms current relationship with her boyfriend is going downhill due to his irresponsible behavior and and gambling addiction. When will this end, I dont know but I wont lose hope, thank you for reading this, keep up the great work.
My dad is always absent. He never called me on my birthday, got me nothing for christmas and also never came to any basketball games i had or came to last day of school stuff. He always say “i have work, im on a diffrent state” its makes me so angry that i wish i could scream in his face “THAT SHOULDN’T STOP YOU FROM SEEING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER” thanks you for reading…
My father is the best, he’s the one who was there for me emotionally, but the kicker is that he’s halfway across the world and has been for most of my life. My mother on the hand, was emotionally neglectful for most of my childhood as she sank deeper into alcohol abuse and depression. I see a lot of people in the comments with parents who are users and/or neglectful. When I was 16, I thought that I was the problem and that if I just start acting right (stop being such a delinquent) then maybe she’d love me, and actually show it, not just say it while she’s plastered and crying her eyes out. When I was 18, I moved out. I’m going on 25 this year, I don’t feel like she really understands me, I don’t think she ever will. I went a year no contact, but I’m talking to her again. I don’t want to feel like I never tried to connect. I keep hoping, like probably a lot of you, that some day the gap will be bridged. But we’ll see. Mostly, I just want to wish all of you luck, life is hard, harder still without solid support. But humans are incredibly resilient, and you will survive, and you will thrive.
I use food to cope not drugs witch is also a coping mechanism to deal with my childhood trauma I don’t smoke drink or do drugs because I know it’s bad because I saw how messed up my stepfather and our roommate was after doing the drug so now I know how it messes people up and I eat to cope with the abuse and abandonment that I dealt with as a kid
I have both absent parents it sucks because I developed a insecurities of being out of place in my family because I live in my grandparents house since my grandma has a favoritism it really hurts being alone in the family because they judge and criticize me all the time I developed social anxiety and depression that’s why I stay in my room all day and I just found out that my father has a new family and wife seeing them kinda broke because I was jealous while my mother is an oversea worker and rarely visits me my parents wounded me for not being there or loving me when I needed them so I always remember this growing up
I was raised by my mom but my parents didnt divorce, die, or werent bonding with me. My dad was out of the country and the whole time I have been alive me and my dad are talking but only online or facetime through my mom’s phone. He only had 2 weeks whenever he came home because of work. Like it could be 2 weeks a year that he’d come home. I think I have high grades? Depending on my deportment with my outbreaks or how loud I was. It mostly depends on my understanding and being able to handle my anger.
I feel like parents can still be absent even if you live with them/see them. Personally, my dad was emotionally absent throughout my childhood, what I mean by that is that I still saw him but we didn’t develop a father-daughter relationship and didn’t really talk much because he put all of his energy into my (now) stepmom and housework.
Sad thing for me to know from this article is that my boyfriend went through a good amount of things and both his fathers dont spend enough time with him. He also isolates himself from his family and spends most of his time on a computer. Tho it is the only way he can talk to me i feel so sorry for him realising the effects of pretty much his fathers not being there enough for him
Wow this can all get very deep. Both my parents had detached parents and successfully passed it on to their kids. But the buck stopped at me. It taught me to be everything my parents weren’t. Lousy childhood “Yes” but I made sure my kids had the childhood I always wished I had. I was able to relive my childhood through my children. My wife never understood me mostly because she was just like my father so how could she. Now the hard part! Sorting through all of this as an adult with failed relationships especially because I married my father and am attracted to emotionally unavailable women. It’s been a painful ride and at 63 still sorting it all out. I feel that what I really need is to feel loved but finding that quality is not easy. Better to not settle again!
Parents could also never have been married. I had an absent father and I seem to have issues with men yelling or otherwise being angry as well as issues trusting that others won’t leave me too. My dad left because I am a girl(I am the second and last born) and he “didn’t know what to do with girls.”
I lost my dad when I was 8 and my mom started to work to provide for me and my sister (who was 15 at that time). My mom wanted to commit suicide but she didn’t because she had to take care of us, while my sister started drinking and she never was at home, so it was me who had to take care of my mom’s hillness. During the years I knew she somewhat thought that it was better if we weren’t there… She was aggressive and manipulating and she kept hurting us just because she was hurt in the first place. I always felt like I was the only thing stopping her to do what she wanted, meanwhile of course I was dependent and I grew up really scared of people around me (exprecially her) dying. I missed the perfect family we had, I missed my dad and I suffered because of the fucking situation but I could do nothing because I was scared that if my mom saw me suffer she could end her life and abandon me. I had to be strong and I couldn’t cope what had happened, and now (I’m almost 19), I still have a lot of issues because of my past. I miss my Dad, who was a wonderful person and the perfect dad and still inspires me everyday, I miss everything I lost and even if I fight everyday to go on I just can’t be happy. I know how much my loss and the absence of my dad effected me and I see it everyday… when a friend of mine that is 11 years older than me takes care of me and I hate that I see him as a parental figure even if he could never be, I see it when I can’t be happy with my bf because I am just too scared of love, and when I can’t allow myself to ask for help or simply a hug, because when I needed it the most nobody was there for me, just me, but I wasn’t enough.
I relate to everything mentioned except alcohol or drug misuse. My dad sadly was an alcoholic and though I do drink, it’s rarely more than 2 cans per month and drugs have never appealed to me. My mum ran away with me from my father when I was 3 or 4 but he was on my mind every day. He died when I was 14 and I had a breakdown.
My dad left me and mom, choosing drugs over us, a year after I was born. After months of nothing, he’d insist he wanted to see me, but he was high. There was once me on 3, ran after him screaming “daddy, daddy” he just threw an alcohol bottle towards me and biked away. Doe to my own issues, I haven’t lived with neither mom and dad for over a year. I hurt them because i’m mentally ill, and they need someone to reason and blame. Most of all they need someone to cry on. Yeah, that was always me. I’m not strong enough anymore, and I can’t help but hate myself for it. My mother often tells me I want her to die and that I don’t care. It’s lies…I’m not getting better, and that I suppose is on me. I care about both my parents, and they love the me they need me to me, but we’ll always be a broken family. I’m not dead yet though, which I guess is ok for some. Take care y’all. Don’t let anybody bring you down. Know your worth like I didn’t back then. Look out for one another. Be strong.
I remember for a long time I would be jealous of other kids who had their father’s in their life. I hated father’s day and events, I blamed my mom for his absence and I thought that maybe he didn’t love me. It’s rough oh and then she married my stepdad who was abusive at one point when I was younger. She’s still with him and he’s still a jerk off and on to me.
The thing is, my parents were already divorced when I was a baby, but they still treated me the same. My father would take me after school and bought me some food, he would tell me some stories on there, then we parted when we reached my home. I had to thank my grandma for that, since she was the one who told my father to fetch me. My mother would tell me stories before sleep and chit chat with me about school. Although she left abroad when I was in 5th grade. Although I had my father and grandma, I guess it wasn’t enough for my old past. I didn’t know at that time that my mother affection really affected me. I became really quiet since and easily irritated. Now I know why. Thanks for the article. What a childhood. Now I am in university by the way. I already do better.👍 My mom still abroad and I already lost contact with my father because I move from my hometown….but hey, I still have grandma so it’s alright. Sorry for the long comment and thank you for reading it. 👏
well damn- i guess both of my ‘parents’ are absent. i guess i’m not too surprised lol when i was around 7 my mother finally got help for her alcohol addiction and didn’t come back home until i was 10, i’m 14 now. i always spent/d the days alone at home since my mother and father were, and still are, rarely home because of work. whenever i do get the chance to talk to them it’s always like we’re just ‘friends’ or ‘roommates’. we all barely know anything about each other so it’s kinda hard for us to “connect” and act like a “family” or whtvr. sometimes it’s hard to tell if they really love each other since the only thing they do is complain about things. lol. my mother always acts toxic and manipulative towards me and likes to make me feel bad for things that’s were obviously caused by her, so that’s kind of aggravating 😂 ….not to mention that she’s homophobic and i’m thinking about coming out whenever i figure out my sexuality. i know i’m not completely straight hahajajwja anyways, sorry about the long rant if anyone read it haha
It doesn’t apply to me with the cognitive side and education. Since I basically never had emotional and love support from my parents I learned to extremely independent and took care of myself. I used that to bring myself up and build a new life with new family… I value education and I study well to give myself a better future, a better family and take care of myself… My behaviour is bad though… but I’m getting better and better. Im so glad to have a bf and his family being supportive of me and that’s when I knew what a family truly is…
My dad was mentally and emotionally and verbally abusive to me until I was 5 and then he left. I have depression and ptsd. I just started talking to him about 3 years ago, he was yelling because he was mad and it gave me a PTSD attack and that’s how I found out I had it in the first place. I watched my dad almost die from huffing a can before and I watch him shoot heroin and abuse our dog. It was genuinley horrible. Even though he never sexually or psychically abused me it was horrible. The things he has said and done will forever stay with me. I’m never going to have kids because of him, because I don’t want the chance of being a horrible parent like him. I’m planning on dropping out too. I’m performing horrible in school currently too. It hurts it really does. I have strong sexual urges and quick romantic attractions. If an abusive parent is reading this, please love your child. Please?
While I grew up with a partially absent Dad, I believe being raised by mum did more harm than good. It’s not just me, but my mum has mentally, emotionally, verbally and sometimes even physically abused me and my brother. She’s closed minded with only tolerance for certain things she feels vaguely indifferent toward, prejudice, queerphobic, and of course the stereotypical radical religious person. If I would’ve grew up living with my dad (if he didn’t abandon us early on) I can confidently say I wouldn’t have been hospitalised as many times as I have been and my body wouldn’t be covered in cuts.
I think an “absent” parent can be one with no connection to the child, as my case. Oh, dad was THERE, when he wasn’t at work, but even when in the house, it was always him talking to mom or perusal TV and sleeping on the couch, or after he retired, the two of them were out building stuff in the garage. There were routines he did coming home or going to work, but interaction while he was at home was negligible.
In my early childhood both of my parents were absent and I was raised by my grandma for 3 years (they were living with me but they were alcoholic so my grandma took care of me). Later my parents gave up alcohol and my mom started paying more attention to me, but my father was working a lot so I very rarely saw him. When I was 7, my parents got divorced and my mom found a new boyfriend. We also moved away from my grandma and I can say that we’re quite healthy family now. Even though my real father was present only twice a month after that divorce (still more recently than earlier) I can’t say that I lacked father figure because my step dad takes good care of our family. But it still hurts that my real father pays more attention to his new wife and her kid than to me and my brother.
My mom left me and my sibling leaving just my dad to raise 3 girls that where 4-6 years old. She gave up after a year of going back and forth when I was 4 and never called. My step mom isn’t rlly helping either. Quote from my dad when I told him and my step mom I was cutting my wrists “just cut it and get it over with so we can put you in the ground and forget about it.” I was 13.
My father is apsent (The Lost Father in 6 Types Of Unhealty Father-Daughter Relationships) and now, i can’ t trust myself nor others in life. Even if i see a question that i know the answer, i can’ t answer. I can’ t, i feeling like my answer is wrong and everybody in class will blame me with my wrong until my life. I prefering have no friend and always being alone in school and other social places. I am the shy girl in your class. I can’ t open someone that i love bravely, or say my opinions to my friends. İ’ m feeling like they will reject me, leave me, tease me or blame me because what i thinking. My father is not coming home, leaving me, my cat and my mother alone and not giving divorce alimony. Not even wondering us if we alive and good, or if we are starving. I doubting about myself and blaming myself. I was even struggled with depression and suicidal troughts! If my dad would ve a better person, maybe i would be a better person in social live. But nooo! And here we are, my mother is smoking (and drinking sometimes) and me as a shy and close person. I’ m calling for the future’ s dads and mothers: No matter what, don’ t abandon your childeren. Give your family best support you can and show them your love! You won’ t die just because you send your wife/husband divorce money or just because you show them your love. But your childeren will die because you didn’ t care about your family and abandoned them. Thanks you for your read and my best compliments from Turkey 🇹🇷 Sorry if i have writing wrongs but it’ s not easy to write when you’ re crying.
I actually do believe, in an ideal world, just because the parents have split up, doesn’t mean the children have to suffer or be effected in anyway, as i believe, as ling as the child feels lived by both parents and is not confused in anyway, then there shouldn’t really be a problem with that! But it doesn’t really work out that way does it!
My father lives in the same exact house as me and I still don’t SEE him for days. He never asks me how work went. I went on a trip for 5 days he didn’t even call once to know if I reached safely or if I’m okay. I’ve been seeing this since childhood so I’m okay with it by now but it really rubs me the wrong way when they come around and blame you for everything. He says “why didn’t you call” “why didn’t you ask how I was” like excuse me? I thought you were MY parent? The other day I got really sick so my mom asked him to get medicines while coming home. He said “you can order it online right” and I was like nvm I’ll do it myself. I’m so used to taking care of my own self at this point that I don’t even have any expectations from them on the daily. But when I’m sick or I really need them that’s when it really hits me how much they don’t give fucks. Anyway goodnight folks 🙂
Sometimes I get jealous of other people because their family is complete, while mine isn’t. I don’t really get to see my dad often, but it’s good to know that he loves me. Me and my dad don’t have a close relationship though. My classmate has a pretty close relationship with his dad and it would always hurt whenever I would see them together 😧😔. Anyways, thanks for listening to my little story :v
I had 2 absent parnets when I was a baby my dad got deported and nevered contact me ever then his family contacted my mother through Facebook and told her he died then I got a step-dad I was happy then he emtional abused my mom my stepbrother never talked me or really wanted to hang out with me then they got disvorce he was aholic I use to be a happy kid but now I’m a broken, aggressive, depressed,lonely, antisocial kid I have aggressive behavior and I’m just so broken
Do they count as absent when they rarely see you? Or does that mean other things? I was raised by my father’s mom and my father only spoke or acknowledged me when someone, either his parents or sibling usually, and I only got negative interactions. My mother did the same kind of stuff except she took the initiative instead of being told too. She once encouraged my sister to castrate me because they wanted a girl and got me, a male, instead. It wasn’t until I mentioned in my screaming and fighting back that I could bleed to death that my mother put a stop to it. My father decided everything negative that ever has, or will happen is my fault. My birth is my fault, him dumping me on his mother was my fault, that car accident none of us has ever of is my fault, the Challenger space shuttle blowing up is some how my fault. When I was younger I was blind to all this and just wanted to be raised by my parents. They were never married. Both have older and younger children with me being the only kid they made together.
I’m adopted by my mom and have a wonderful relationship with her. But feel as if I’m always looking for a fatherly figure. Because I never had one or any male figure in my life. And it most definitely effects my relationships whether it’s a friendship or romantic. I also get along better with guys then girls. It really hard for me to make girlfriends I don’t trust them. Why is this and how can I learn from it to better myself?
But I genuinely don’t care? I don’t even know what it’s like to live with both of my parents, I’ve even ghosted my dad 2 years ago because he was using me to get to my mother Sure, maybe when I think about it, it bothers me a little, but that doesn’t mean that it affects my everyday life like you’re depicting it
Since beginning of my teenage years I’ve been only attracted to certain type of boys who are so manipulative, experience a lot of mood and behavior swings and have narcissistic tendencies. My father was abusive in first 10 years of my life and absent the rest. I also realized it last few months that the certain type of face that I’ve always been so attracted to describes exactly how my father looks like, big boney nose, brown eyes, tiny lips, dry black hair, very cold eyes and…. Like I could never be with someone if he doesn’t have this traits, it’s sad the way this attraction is ruining my life even more…
My ma lives with us yet she never spends time with us or gives us her undivided attention. She’s always chatting with her friends online, perusal TV, or posting on social media in her room all day long. It’s been like this for a good 4-5 years now. I’ve brought it up but she doesn’t think there is a problem with our relationship. I don’t feel close with her and I only have 1 more year before I graduate high school. It does affect me but it’s fine
Some of these are true. But no one talks about growing up without a mom. Yeah my dad was around but.. he wasn’t around emotionally. Everyday I fight the urge to not be a bad guy but with all the trauma I had in growing up without a mother since 3 years old, the only thing that makes sense to us unstable kids is to hurt others. No one wants to feel alone so we will do what we can to make sure someone can be suffering with us.
My father left my mother before I was born because I was conceived, growing up he was almost never around, when he did contact me however he would manipulate me into thinking it was my mothers fault for his absence. I spent all of my young to mid teens pretty much being raised by my grandparents as my mother worked. I have bad anxiety and depression and I quit school due to continuous bad grades and bullies.
Hi— can you make a article about INFJs and INFPs compatibility? And how they are simular and different? And if its possible to be together no matter how shy they are? Please? I really like someone whose an INFP and I’m dying to know… since I’m moving away from my current school. So yeah. Thank you if you make the article.💕
I don’t have an absent parent, but my dad and I are distant, or at least that’s what I think. I often have trouble trying to talk to him just because it feels like I don’t know him enough. My mom’s alright, but she’s pushy and it makes me feel pressured to the point where I start tearing up. She’d look through my journal without permission and showed them to other relatives to show off my work, but she needs to understand that it’s private. Her excuse is because she’s my mother, of course.
I sometimes wonder if having parents involved in your life, while they themselves are barely functional from a social point of view, is of any use, I mean, 1 diabetic father who blames shifts everything on you and 1 tobacco addicted mother who often gives the impressions of early stage lung, throat cancer or Alzheimer.
But I have a absent parent..my dad decided to suicide but I was never had any mental health problem well my mom does she has some mental illness because my dad was gone but now she’s getting better, also in school I was really good plus I’m always happy except for the fact about me going down to depression for 2 years after that everything is good
I can’t stress enough how important it is that people at least realize what is done to a child if you leave them. Do not. Leave. Even if you are there once a month, one a week.. Please stay in that child’s life. If I could have had anything, when I was 13, it wasn’t anything but my mom, after she left. This has really effected my current life. I am 20, just now figuring myself out as an individual. The damage it can take on somebody can effect them for the rest of their lives. Don’t be that selfish. I know you don’t know me, but.. your child will always wonder where you went. They will always want to know how you are doing. They will ask about you any chance they get and they will always feel like they could have stopped you from leaving. They will blame themselves. They will feel unwanted. They will be unable to sleep, and find themselves having a hard time adjusting without you. They will scream at the walls, wishing to tear the world asunder, their pain etched into their bodies and their eyes dried with old tears. You are your child’s world, at very specific key moments of their life. I know. Because I did that. And all they want, is you. They don’t care what happened or why. But coming back at all, is better than never coming back. Closure is so necessary for healing. So don’t. Don’t do that to anyone. Ever. I won’t forgive you, and neither will they. And if you do.. God have mercy on your soul.
Hello. Can someone tell me, did my dad actually have an impact on my life? I’m a highly sensitive person. So I’ve blamed that for my mental problems, without considering that I’ve never seen my dad. Could that have had an impact? The idea of having a dad used to scare me alot (the small me imagened a dad would beat me more then my mom).
It’s kind of strange, but I’m defying all the points in this article. I love math and solving logic problems. One day I decided to be the opposide of my dad. No alcohol, no smoking hell I don’t wear my glasses because he used to wear glasses. I also was sure not to fall in love with someone unless I’m sure I will spend the rest of my life with him. Lastly I will never commit suicide because it just hurts everyone else and is a selfish escape. I think I might have depression tho. I would never call it that, because I don’t really know. I’m thankful to my mother for raising me to be like that. I was a brat to her. She did a tremendous job.
Beat me till I was green because I was perusal dirty movies at night. Made jokes about me to his family Beat my mom a few times and kicked us both out and made me.choose between him or her Never once asked me a personal question about my inner life Made me and his friend participate in cornering a dog that came to his compound. Near a pile of red construction bricks. Stoned the dog senselessly until he got tired. Even when he was tired he still kept throwing. Until he was panting. The dog was bloody all over. Since we live in a rural place with high walls and shit, I manager to bring a friend over when I was about 15. My only friend in this place, I grew up in the suburbs and suddenly had to live here so naturally I didnt relate much to the other guys and it was mutual. My dad passes by us sitting on the bench talking, hurries back and points at him then shouts “what are YOU doing here? Get the hell out of here!” Told me I would never amount to anything when he kicked me and my mom out again at 14. Been called useless and a dog more times than I can count. And now with graduation. I made a mistake, my first time graduating. I forgot all about the special ribbons and university hat. My late uncle had a gown and hat and I thought it would suffice until I heard 30 minutes beforehand that actually it didnt work like that. Felt like an idiot lol. I run to go get the cash from him and mom. Run all the way back and sit down where in meant to be. I walk on stage and literally forget to take the picture and come back and I get everyone laughing.
First off neither one of my parents were around when I was growing up. I turned to school and did a wonderful job plus I was great in math. I’m now a teacher. I’m a single mom of two with full custody because my ex was an alcoholic and abusive my daughter is in all honor and college courses in hs. My son is also doing well.
I haven’t had contact with my dad since 2015. He was never a big part of my life, we didn’t start visitations until I was around 5, and they stopped for a while and started again when I was a little older. Then when I was 14 I just gave up seeing him. He hasn’t called or texted or sent any Christmas cards since.
My father was absent. my parents are not divorced but he does not live with us. I feel realy uncomfortable and scared with my dad. and he gets angry when we don’t seem to care about him. it’s really stressing me, like why should we (his childs) do the make move to get closer but not him. he only thinks of himself.
I would like to see some kind of article about how to cope or deal with this issue specifically if it can be in the works at all. My current partner has had an absent father for the majority of his life *now lives with a step-parent but still*, and I’m seeing a good amount of these things show up and it makes me very worried and confused as to what I should do. For now I’ll keep trying to be the good boyfriend, but if you have any good ideas on this, I would really appreciate a article on that topic. <3 At any rate keep up the wonderful work and thank you for the informative articles. 🙂
I have a question cause this is something I grew up with as a child and I really happy to learn about this. But my question is would the parent still be counted as absent even if there we’re still in your life as a child but was not really there? For example like the mother how would the child act of the mother was absent as well?
I refuse to believe that EVERYONE whose had an absent parent, will likely have mental or emotional problems as an adult.. I can see how the absence can affect them some, but at the same time; come on. It’s called building your own inner strength & love for yourself as well. People still have to be responsible for their OWN actions.. Some people like to use these reasons as a permanent excuses, but after a certain point & age whether the situation improves or not, oneself still has to be held accountable & try to grow from it instead. It’s never a permanent mental imprisonment. THAT is a CHOICE if a person let’s it. I’ve had an absent parent & this sounds pitiful to me.
I think i had an absent dad but i never cared, i never seeked love or attention from him. I just kept living and i have 115 iq, normal social skills and a lot of friends etc. Well yeah i got depression but not bc he was absent, i got depression bc he and his family existed and yk… Like i wish he could have stayed absent all the time instead of manipulating me etc. I cutted the contact and now i feel way mature and waaay less manipulated
I have this thing called a daddy issue Usually I am a daddy’s girl people sometimes like my ‘god mom’ say Though I wish it was like that at times The sheer hatred of my father was bottled up After me and my dad helped eachother for years I guess he gave up My mom and I just stay away from him. Doing all the work I get called stupid because I don’t have good studies at math but only good at reading and writing It’s so hard to work in school because I don’t have the right mind People think I’m mindless I wish I didn’t look stupid This undeveloped brain was just not good enough I miss my dad and I But I also hate him ｍｙ ｄａｄ ｈａｄ ｌｅｆｔ ｌｉｋｅ ａballoon in the wind
I can relate to 5 out of 6. After my parents divorced, my father was a “deadbeat”.😡The only positive thing that came out of this situation is that I’ve become a strong feminist.🙂 Though there are other factors that have influenced me becoming a feminist. I’ll never apologize for being one either (if you’re offended).😛
Welp…i have never seen my dad in my life. And because of him i had anxiety and depression. And when i was in middle school i have seen dads who were waiting for theyr kids but…for…me it was empty and lonely….it hurts because you see theyr happyness and love…but for me i have never felt that kind of love. But thank you Mom for being my family and both parents. Ó~Ò And its funny cause he left me because i wasn’t a BOY. Q-Q
I rarely know my dad and have only seen him 3-4 times out of my whole 17 years of living. But I feel so numb about that I don’t focus much on it. I have a lot more things to focus on. But shat really has affected me is my mother neglecting a lot through out my whole life do to her serve mental illnesses, and alcoholism…
I wonder though…What this means for children who are effectively orphans. My father was a good man, but he was always away at work being a truck driver. My mother was home, but horrible to me. She never paid attention to me. I did everything around the home. Even my brother was never home. And when my mother got a boyfriend…Let’s just say he was more interested in me, the teen girl. I raised myself. Jaded and alone, I learned to simply not trust adults. I learned that I can do it better on my own. And when I became truly alone, I realized that I understood none of what I actually needed to survive. Also, I finally understand why I’m bad at math and everything is confusing to me…
In my Childhood my Dad wasn’t there. Not even at my birthdays at nothing. Even tho he lives with us he never really was in my life. He comes to the Birthday from my Older and younger Siblings but at mine he doesn’t. Even tho before, while and after my birthday he treats me like shit. He doesn’t even allow me to watch anime anymore even tho I grew up with it. In my Childhood I got beaten up a few times tho. Yesterday I asked him to smoke at the balconey because he knows I have astmha and I always kept my mind and mouth shut. I tought it was time to speak up when he asked why he should smoke there and I said because I have astmha. He said no and that I am not special. That I’m stupid and dead inside. I know some people feel worse and I hope that they will get better. Stay safe everyone 💕💕
Personally if they didn’t care I don’t want them there. That goes for anybody. I don’t need emotional baggage because of these people I don’t live for them anyway. That is how I see it maybe I’m just a stronger person than most. People live with this dream that life is supposed to be fun, loving, and easy you need to wake up to reality.
My dads been absent but not really absent since I was around 7. He never really left, and I never lost contact with him, I still have his number even though I don’t text him out of fear and he never texts me, but I stopped being able to see him on weekends due to him being busy and now I only end up seeing him about once a month or so when he comes over to grab his laundry he dropped off the day before because his washer and dryer are broken rn and he makes his rounds all month visiting people who’ll let him use theirs. So uh, yeah, thats fun.
As well as the absent parent, which is no fault of the child in the first place, but, when the parent that is there, wants involves you in all her resentments, making sure you know all about the bad things the absent parent does, true or not? (the way she sees it) Also making sure you understand, not only did he not want her, he didn’t want you either, And thats why he left!😔 Speaking personally this is how it was for us! And at the time you believe everything your mother tells you as you have no reason to doubt or see things differently! Its only when you grow up, you realise, Weather that is true or not, that is a very cruel and damaging thing to do to a child, something we had to endure growing up, amongst other things, which i made sure i never did to my children, but i do believe all children are different, but even so, why would you want to involve your child in your suffering? 😔 its just very selfish, although i don’t really believe she realised what effect it actually caused.
Mom and dad split up when I was 2 but me and my father would still spend time on most weekends and most holidays although sometimes he wouldn’t show up and almost always be late but then eventually when I was 14 we blocked off all contacts because of his abusive behaviour and bad examples until I was 19 and then we started seeing each other off and on but don’t see him right now though