When dealing with criticism of your parenting, it is crucial to take a moment to explain your parenting style and ask for their advice. Balancing openness to helpful advice with a firm belief in your parenting choices is key. To transform criticism into an opportunity for growth, demonstrate that it’s possible to set limits and guide your child with empathy and compassion.
When your spouse constantly criticizes your parenting, it can be tricky to assert your parenting authority and keep conflicts at bay. Here are 10 insights and suggestions to help bolster you:
- Call out relatives who are being purposefully mean. Negative comments can be opportunities to advocate for your child.
- Stick to your own facts, not someone else’s opinion. Pay less mind to what other people are doing. Block out the noise. Believe in your own parenting techniques and leadership. Follow your individual intuition.
- Have a chat with your kids before they go to a social gathering. Set limits but do it in a kind and funny way. Some guidelines you can give them include developing thick skin, building self-confidence, setting boundaries, tuning out the noise, being prayerful, asking for the leading of the, and surrounding yourself with a supportive community.
- Explain that you understand their concerns and would like to learn more about their perspective. This will help make them feel heard and understood. After they have finished speaking, make sure to thank them for taking the time to talk with you.
- Say only what you saw: “I noticed you looked startled when that person spoke loudly to you about crying”.
- Tell them that you are parenting the best you can.
- Smile, say “Thanks for the advice” or “I’ve never thought about that”, and then get up and look for snacks and other people to talk with.
- Remember that parenting is up to you and your partner.
In conclusion, it is essential to never complain or explain when people criticize your parenting techniques. Instead, smile at the other person and say “Parenting sure is hard, isn’t it?”
📹 Dealing with Parents who Criticize: Narcissistic Relationships
Dealing with parents who criticize can be one of the toughest relationship challenges we face. Having a father or mother who is …
How to respond to unfair criticism?
To handle unfair criticism at work, it is essential to relax and listen, respond to the content rather than the tone, take time to respond, ask questions to understand the points being made, and work out if the criticism is fair. Avoid getting sidelined and don’t bring up other issues or personal grievances. Four key techniques to handle criticism positively include disagreeing, negative inquiry, fogging and phrases to respond to criticism examples, relaxing and listening, responding to the content, not responding immediately, and asking the critic questions to better understand. These techniques help you take control of the situation and avoid personal stress.
What is the best response to criticism?
Constructive criticism is a valuable feedback method that provides specific, actionable recommendations to improve one’s work. It is often the first step towards personal growth and can be beneficial for students and professionals. It is clear, direct, and provides immediate steps for the recipient to fix errors, problems, or concerns. It is essential to remain calm and listen to the person, understand the benefits of feedback, thank the person, ask questions for more feedback, and request a follow-up time.
In college, professors have a responsibility to provide constructive feedback to help students learn their craft well. Learning how to respond to it will help you become a better student and professional. To receive constructive criticism with an open mind, it is essential to stay calm, listen, understand the benefits of feedback, thank the person, ask questions, and request a follow-up time.
How do you politely decline parenting advice?
The statement indicates that the individual has attempted a variety of parenting techniques and is content with their current approach, as opposed to seeking counsel and demonstrating a sense of satisfaction with their existing parenting style.
How do you respond when someone criticizes your parenting?
It is an inherent human response to feel a sense of defensiveness when one is subjected to criticism regarding their parenting style or choices. Nevertheless, it is advisable to take a moment to collect one’s thoughts and express gratitude for the feedback provided, as acknowledging the opinion of the other party demonstrates a willingness to engage in constructive dialogue.
What to say when someone criticizes you?
In the event of delivering criticism in person, it is recommended to calmly reiterate the points of contention, maintain eye contact, and utilize a non-aggressive tone to ensure comprehension. In your own words, elucidate your thoughts and elucidate any confusion or unclear points.
How do you deal with people criticizing your parenting?
When responding to criticism of your parenting style, it’s crucial to explain your parenting philosophy. This helps in understanding your decisions, strategies, values, and goals for your children. It’s also an opportunity to discuss your successes and challenges with this parenting style. Summarizing your parenting philosophy in a few sentences can help express and understand your parenting choices. It’s also important to mention any successes or challenges you’ve faced with this parenting style. This can help in addressing criticism and fostering a more supportive environment for your children.
How do you deal with people judging your parenting?
Parents in their first year of life make numerous decisions, often based on instinct or personal beliefs. These decisions can be influenced by factors such as breastfeeding, stroller choice, delivery location, pediatrician, and sleep training. However, it is essential to recognize that judgment is inevitable and that it is crucial to be smart researchers, find a support network, stop making comparisons, tune out judgers, and stop judging yourself. By doing so, parents can make more informed decisions and avoid feeling judged for their choices.
How to respond to a critical parent?
Highly critical parents can have a significant impact on children, leading to increased risk of developing mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression. This is due to constant criticism and negativity, which can lead to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. The constant rain cloud over one’s head can be traumatizing for some individuals. Additionally, forming and maintaining healthy relationships in adulthood can be challenging due to the fear of criticism or rejection.
This can be likened to building a brick wall around oneself to protect from getting hurt, but it also keeps the joy, connection, companionship, and intimacy out. It is essential to be willing to take risks in relationships to maintain close and healthy connections. Therefore, seeking therapy, setting healthy boundaries, and learning self-compassion and self-care can be effective coping strategies for children of highly critical parents.
How do you respond to a disrespectful parent?
To address toxic behaviors in parents, consider strategies such as not trying to please them, setting boundaries, not trying to change them, being mindful of what you share, knowing your parents’ limitations, having an exit strategy, and not trying to reason with them. Identifying toxic behaviors may be easier if you feel confused, unsure of yourself, judged, guilty for saying “no”, drained, angry, overwhelmed, unrespected, manipulated, and constantly “walking on eggshells” around them. It’s important to recognize how interacting with them might make you feel and work around them if necessary.
Is it OK to not agree with your parents?
Disagreeing with parents can be a positive experience, as long as you maintain respectfulness and politeness. As an adult, you have more rights to assert yourself, but be careful and thoughtful in your communication. While you are not obligated to be accountable for others’ feelings, responding with kindness and compassion is still beneficial. If you cannot stay calm, excuse yourself until you are ready to talk more respectfully. Avoid being passive or aggressive when your parents disagree with your views.
Show your difference of opinion in a direct and concise manner. For example, if your mother wants to teach you how to spend your money, you can express your respect but suggest a different approach. As an adult, independence allows you to make decisions, express opinions, and establish yourself, as well as greater freedom to disagree in arguments about money and career choices.
Why do people judge my parenting?
Parenting can be a complex and context-specific process, and it is important to understand the motivation behind the advice given by family members. While they may have a genuine desire to help and pass on their wisdom, they may not know your child as well as you do and may not understand your specific parenting challenges from the inside. This can lead to judgment and sidelining of grandparents, who may be trying to make themselves a central part of the family or make amends through their grandchildren.
It is also important to question whether the feeling of being judged is coming more from you than from them. Parenting while people are watching can be stressful, and we may respond differently in those circumstances. If we are already outside our comfort zone and unsure if we are doing the right thing, we may be quicker to detect negative attitudes from others and interpret their words and actions as criticisms. By understanding the deeper motivation behind their comments, it is possible to better support and understand the challenges of parenting.
📹 When Narcissistic Parents Criticize You
ONLINE COURSE: Healing the Five Primary Wounds Of Parental Narcissistic Abuse https://meghaworth.com/narcissisticab.
Hurt people hurt people . It’s hard though when your parents criticise you because they’re the only people who are meant to love you unconditionally and instil confidence in you . My parents rarely have good things to say about me . Growing up and until now all they did was point out my shortcomings and make me feel inadequate but I’m done succumbing to their negative and harsh criticisms . It’s merely projection and they’re taking their insecurities out on me which has nothing to do with me
It’s really tough… Living with my mum she points out my every wrong and even if there is no wrong she makes one up when I am going for my competition she would say you won’t win why try? As I’m typing I am also tearing why are there such inmature parent? Mayby this explains why I hav mild anxiety when talking to certain people People say stay away from people who Brin you down but I am living with my mum!!! And when I talk back and ask her to stop she will threaten to cane It’s really very hard But thanks for your article adressing this matter 🙂
I am already going through depression..idk at what level it is…But my parents being emotionless towards me is adding more to it..My dad constantly uses harsh remarks and says that I am good for nothing even though I am very productive through other people’s perspective.It hurts so much and I no cry at anything random at most unexpected times…idk what to do..this helped a little. Thanks
I’m almost 50. I made a bad judgement call today in placing on item on the table and ended up knocking a bunch of stuff down by accident. Not a big deal, just a dumb mistake, that didn’t cause any damage. When it happened I had this flush of memories of my dad scolding me constantly for making any kind of mistake. He would give me this awful look of disapproval. He tore me down any chance he could. My father was literally the worst thing that ever happened to me and it has ravaged my self esteem for the rest of my life.
my mom blames everything on me. every fight with my brother, every time. i try to push all my feelings down but every night i cry and cry. i don’t know what to do. all she does is call me lazy and tell me how i have no friends and i’m in some fantasy world and it’s all fake. i don’t know if i’m depressed or what but i feel help less.
I think it’s best to avoid them as well as imploying this strategy to make sense of things mentally. It could make the situation worse to try to tell them you’re opinion on what’s happening or if one attempts to ‘fix’ things. Hearing things that you basically have to ignore on a daily basis is very difficult.
My Grandmother used to say “it’s not your dad’s fault, his dad (her ex) was even worse”, as if that somehow excused the way he treated me. (She was just trying to help.) My father cheated on my mum and they divorced when I was 5. He called me a slut 3 years before I’d even had sex, he constantly criticized and never understood me, and reminded me often that I could never measure up to my sisters. To this day, I feel unloveable, and have been single for over a decade after a hot mess of a romantic life. As much as I’d like to be in a relationship, at least I’m safer this way…no one can hurt me. I’m just puzzled at how my sisters came out fine and are all in 15+ yr marriages…why me? To those of you who are in the same boat, let me just say- you are worthy, and I hope you have a wonderful day! xoxo –sj
No, they don’t always really want to help us. My father ENJOYS causing me pain and hardships. It took me many years to come to terms with it and it’s still very deeply painful, even at 43 years old. He is a bitter, hateful, negative, SADISTIC man who loves to crush my dreams. He’s done it all my life, up until this very day today. I just want to learn how to cope with the enormity of 43 years of abuse, when I live 200 feet from him and have to deal with him every single day. I used to drink and do drugs, but I’ve been clean many years now. I need to learn how to not let his nasty outbursts ruin my day is and make me feel like crap about myself.
I am old enough and experienced enough to know why my mom criticizes everyone. I usually laugh it off to myself and know it is she and not I who has problems. However, in a family group I am the scapegoat and she barks orders and criticism at me and seldom to others. My niece told her stop being so mean and walked out of dinner. That was two years ago. Mom keeps saying something MUST be wrong with my niece, her job her marriage etc, because she doesn’t talk to mom much anymore. So mom totally chose not to accept responsibility. My family have all stood up to her in my defense, as do I. She tells us we are all being over sensitive and she is indeed not criticizing, but merely expressing an opinion. Can you say narcissistic? So my question is since it is best to deflate her drama, and that doesn’t stop her, additionally standing up to her just makes her say there is something wrong with us, how do I get her to shut up and stop criticizing me?? She is 87 and has no One but us and a few friends who tolerate her, until she poses them off for a few days. I choose not to go ” no contact”, so what now?
I know they love me but their criticism is killing me and lead me to alcohol addiction. Your article helps me realize The truth. I have power…they’re just immature. I am a grown up and I will love myself and grow to be a better person. Not their perfect person. I will be me, not the person they want me to be
I have been dealing with criticism with my Grandma. She may be a nice person, but at the same time is mean. She always criticizes me about what I do and what I look like with my appearance. When I have been experiencing it, I felt depression in me, and it wasn’t that easy to try to get over it. Sometimes, I just get really tired of it, and want to find my way to get out of it.
Honestly this shit happens so much, it’s honestly so degrading and she even recently pointed out how she hates that I talk monotone cause I’m depressed like I have to put on an act for everything and I’m 20! I can’t wait till I move out with my girlfriend and never tell my parents where I move so I can tell them good luck in the retirement home cause they’ll never have a place in my heart and home. And it’s extremely sad saying that since I wish I could but it’s just the cards I’ve been dealt.
I am so Depressed my mother just received Narcissistic supply. Three years of social isolation, I only to leave to buy groceries, late at night when she is sleeping. I can’t catch her manipulating me until it is too late. Days later I discover it only after pacing circles in my living room. I have resorted to hiding under my bed and locking my doors. My grandma and she literally stand outside and kick my windows and yell, while I pretend I am not home. I am scared my neighbours will call the landlord or they are going to break a window. She is never going to change and I cannot stand being around her anymore. Today she called me one dimensional and said I will have to live many lives because I was never smart. I guess it is better than when she called me a bitch, slut, loser, fake, lame a mistake, and slapped my face over three dozen times. I know my mom is lonely, but I am too now thanks to her and my grandma’s interference and gossip. I have tried to set up boundaries and you can see her veins pop out. She becomes angry and guilt-trips me. One week later she will do the same thing I asked her not to times a thousand.
so my mom she was coming in the door and it was locked and my brother went to open the door and right out of no where my mom yalls alyssa why did you lock the door in a mean voice then I was laughing because I diddnt lock the door and she always think it’s me so then she was coming at me cause I was laughing then she started coming to me to hit me so I moved and then she came the other way then I just stopped bc I diddnt wanna cause any more trouble so she started pulling my hair and was hitting me on my neck my head my face and stuff but it’s fine because I have a very high vibration and it always happens so I’m use to I just want her to stop thinking everything is me