Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a psychiatrist specializing in women’s health, discusses the concept of “faux self-care” and its impact on individuals. She explains that while self-care products and services generate billions of dollars, they often come in one of three alluring flavors: escape, achievement, and optimization.
Faux self-care is often about short-term fixes, such as a massage or 10-day meditation. However, it can be difficult to recognize when this becomes an insidious cycle over genuine rest and renewal. To escape the faux self-care trap, one must recognize the difference between quick fixes and genuine self-improvement.
Lakshmin articulates four principles for embracing self-care: setting boundaries, learning to deal with guilt, and identifying personal values. By doing so, individuals can approach boundaries more effectively and feel less anxious.
The wellness industry has packaged and sold various products and services as solutions to stress, burnout, and depression. Instead of focusing on short-term fixes, it is essential to focus on deeper care with long-term change. Integrative Hypnosis and Healing can help rewire the brain for less stress, anxiety, and sleepless nights, leading to more calm, confidence, and joy.
In her book “How to Escape ‘Faux Self-Care'”, Lakshmin critiques the popularized notion of “faux self-care” and emphasizes the importance of taking an active role in life and not hiding in a corner.
📹 The Tyranny of Faux Self-Care | Dr
In 2008, disillusioned by the medical system, Dr. Lakshmin left her residency to join an extreme wellness commune that turned out …
What is a faux self-care?
The multibillion-dollar industry selling crystals and massages as self-care remedies for burnout and depression is often compared to joining a cult. This is because the industry offers quick fixes that do not improve the lives of individual women or address the underlying societal issues.
What is pseudo self-care?
Pseudo self-care refers to behaviors that are justified as self-care but actually manifest from numbing, avoidance, distraction, procrastination, perfectionism, or self-sabotage. This term was coined after observing it in clients and myself. It is best described through real-life examples, emphasizing the importance of being gentle with oneself and allowing space for self-judgment and self-criticism. This allows for a more authentic understanding of oneself and encourages kindness.
How to stop feeling guilty about self-care?
To improve self-care, learn about the importance of self-care and give yourself permission to focus on yourself. Remember that the people you love and care about love you too. If you ever feel guilty about doing something for yourself, you’re not alone. However, it’s important to remember that self-care helps recharge and improves your ability to be better parents, partners, friends, and coworkers. To add more self-care into your life, follow these 5 tips:
- Focus on yourself: Give yourself permission to focus on yourself and remind yourself that the people you love and care about love you too.
What is false self-care?
False self-care can manifest as avoiding tasks, feeling guilty or anxious about actions that don’t align with values and goals, damaging physical, mental, emotional, or financial health, spending too much time with unrespectful people, not being able to afford things, constantly checking social media, avoiding exercise, binge-eating unhealthy food, or overworking. True self-care is when you prioritize your health and relationships over work and avoid these negative behaviors.
How do I stop seeing self-care as a chore?
Self-care can be challenging, but it’s essential to give yourself a break, be clear about what self-care means to you, set realistic expectations, and respect your energy levels. Life can throw curveballs, such as busy schedules, stress, travel, sleep-regressing children, or a demanding new boss, which can make self-care seem like a chore. Instead, take a break, set realistic expectations, and capitalize on your energy levels to maintain a healthy balance.
How do I free myself from misplaced guilt?
Guilt is a self-conscious emotion that can cause us to feel responsible for negative experiences or outcomes. It can be overwhelming, but with the right support and tools like online therapy, it can be managed in a healthy way. To deal with guilt, it is essential to determine the source of the feeling. Guilt can help us learn from our mistakes and change negative behaviors, but it can also be toxic or irrational.
To overcome guilt, it is crucial to identify the reasons for the feelings and find ways to make amends, give back to others, look for distractions, practice self-compassion, focus on things we can control, and consider what we would do differently next time. By focusing on the things we can control and considering what we would do differently next time, we can move past the negative feelings and move forward in a productive way.
What personality disorder is false self?
The true self and the false self are psychological dualisms proposed by English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. The true self refers to a sense of self based on spontaneous authentic experience and a feeling of being alive, with little to no contradiction. The false self, on the other hand, is a sense of self created as a defensive facade, which can leave an individual lacking spontaneity and feeling dead and empty behind an inconsistent appearance of being real, such as in narcissism.
Winnicott saw the true self as stemming from self-perception in early infancy, such as awareness of tangible aspects of being alive. After birth, the baby’s spontaneous, nonverbal gestures derive from this instinctual sense, and if responded to kindly and with affirmation by the parents, become the basis for the continuing development of the true self. However, when good enough parenting is not in place, the infant’s spontaneity is in danger of being encroached on by the need for compliance with parents’ wishes/expectations.
This can lead to the creation of the false self, where other people’s expectations can become of overriding importance, overlaying or contradicting the original sense of self. The danger is that through this false self, the infant builds up a false set of relationships and attains a show of being real, while concealing a barren emptiness behind an independent-seeming façade.
How do I stop neglecting self-care?
Self-care behaviors can help increase free time by avoiding avoidance, transforming perfectionism into “excellentism”, setting boundaries, managing finances, decluttering, and putting free time/me time on your schedule. The term “self-care” can mean different things to different people, with some enjoying making homemade ketchup while others find it boring. Each person has their own unique definition of self-care, so it’s important to find what works best for you.
Is self-care narcissistic?
Self-care and narcissistic behavior are two distinct concepts. Self-care involves enjoying tasks or activities alone, while narcissistic behavior is about seeking approval from others and striving for betterment. Narcissistic behavior is about seeking external validation, while self-care focuses on internal validation. Narcissistic behavior is about constantly comparing oneself to others, lacking empathy and focusing on self-serving desires. Self-care individuals have healthy boundaries and are open to self-improvement, while narcissistic individuals are self-centered and reluctance towards criticism.
Narcissistic behavior can view themselves as heroes or victims, functioning on fixed thought patterns. Self-care is about balance between self and others, loving people truly and leading a healthy family life. Self-care is healthy, while narcissistic behavior is unhealthy. Self-caring individuals hold healthy self-esteem, while narcissistic individuals use it as a defense mechanism. Narcissistic behavior is about deep insecurity, while self-caring individuals do not believe in this.
Self-care and narcissistic behavior can be considered opposites, but it is essential to openly discuss and seek professional help when necessary. Narcissistic individuals may not seek professional help, but those living with them may do so as it becomes difficult to live in toxic environments. It is crucial to openly discuss these differences to ensure the right help is sought.
What does poor self-care look like?
Poor self-care is a common issue that can manifest in various ways, such as not getting enough sleep, skipping meals, or engaging in harmful behaviors. It is crucial for maintaining mental health and is often neglected. Poor self-care can lead to various mental health issues and physical problems. Self-care is an intentional activity that helps us take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. It is essential for maintaining overall well-being and preventing negative impacts on our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Why do I feel selfish when I take care of myself?
Guilt often comes from a conditioned belief that prioritizing oneself is wrong or indulgent. However, taking care of oneself equips us to handle life’s challenges and take care of others. The old airplane advice suggests that one should put on their air mask before helping anyone else. Constant giving and neglecting self-care can lead to burnout. Instead of feeling guilty about taking time for self-care, consider it as an investment in future productivity.
Rest fills the cup back up, allowing for more long-term success. Guilt can be a powerful force to overcome, but it is essential to recognize its importance in maintaining a healthy balance in our lives.
📹 Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski: The cure for burnout (hint: it isn’t self-care) | TED
You may be experiencing burnout and not even know it, say authors (and sisters) Emily and Amelia Nagoski. In an introspective …
Everyone should be taught about burn out since they start school basically. Because students experience burnout too. It’s just the result of the education system emphasising grades over everything. Hustle culture — all-nighters, pushing yourself to the limit — is glorified by society and students internalise these messages until they are unable to recognise when they are burned out. Because they think being emotionally exhausted means you’re not trying hard enough. I failed half of my classes this year when I got A’s for half of my classes last year. So yeah, I know burn out all too well… It’s ok though, I have the support of my family and I’m currently easing my way back to my studies after a month long break. I’m not sure if I’m prepared for the future though, (getting the results to my finals, deciding whether or not I should retake my exam, applying for university, etc) but I’m taking it one step at a time.
I feel like these are not good tips. If I’m burning out on a personal level (for me it would be school) I don’t feel like I need others to praise me or say they love me, I need to figure out how I can get back into my studies and regain that lost motivation. How can you fix burnout personally when these ladies are talking about fixing it at a cultural level? I’m not trying to rag on the speakers, and maybe I’m interpreting the article poorly, but I feel like these tips won’t help me or is that just me? Edit: So if anyone sees this, it’s kind of a funny story. I put out a little rant against this article yesterday but then later THE SAME DAY, my mother call me and got me talking about feeling burnt. It definitely helped immensely just to talk and have her tell me to not be embarrassed about doing poorly. It definitely helped me to talk to her and let some stuff out. Just thought I’d put that out there.
This was great. I really liked the point about how biologically, we need more than “self” care. We aren’t meant to live independently and forcing ourselves into dealing with life alone is what leads us to burning out. Our brains aren’t wired that way, everyone needs help and thats great! Thank you for sharing, really eye opening stuff.
I’ve been a chef for thirty years and the expectation for perfection, not only for yourself but your staff, as well, is always priority number one. Long hours on your feet in a hot kitchen without breaks is the norm. The food service industry is also notorious for belittling and berating behavior when things don’t go 100% not to mention sexual harassment, which in any other business would not be tolerated. It takes its toll on many of us to the point of physical and emotional exhaustion and in many cases leads to negative coping mechanisms. Drug and alcohol abuse are commonplace and in some extreme cases lead to suicide. Sadly this profession is difficult to leave so burnout is almost inevitable. Thanks for article.
“One of the things that is my little reminder to myself is that when I feel like I need more grit, what I actually need is more help. And when I look at Amelia’s life and I think ‘she needs more discipline, needs more perserverance, she needs to work harder’… what she actually needs is more kindness.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I used to deal with stress by cleaning my house (often dancing while cleaning my house) or walking (did it once or twice a day and always used the stairs and walked to talk with people versus using the phone). Then, I became disabled with ME/CFS where physical activity actually makes me sicker. What a kick in the pants.
So, what’s the solution when you don’t have anyone at all to lean on or to help you? It’s like those advice articles about loneliness that tell you to talk to your friends and family – it wouldn’t be a problem if I could do that. It infuriates me that there is so little recognition that some people are ALONE.
The ‘stress induced’ abdominal pain diagnosis, then backed up by someone that close, rather than questioned or explored, was just hard to hear. Mostly because stress or anxiety is the go-to diagnosis for a huge number of women with symptoms. It is, IMO, a diagnosis that should be a last resort when nothing else is found, and yet it is often option 2-3, if not option 1, when women have gut pain, headaches, fatigue, etc… Let’s be real- there was not enough TIME to make an accurate diagnosis for this person, doesn’t sound like. Did they test for celiac disease? Because stress makes people often change their diet and can therefore change symptoms. Did they get tested for autoimmune diseases at all? 75% of AI patients are women and the majority of them go undiagnosed for years, can cause symptoms like headaches and gut issues in the beginning, and stress can make symptoms worse. Oh and lets not forget, a survey study found about 45% of AI patients have been told, before finally being diagnosed, that their symptoms were simply stress/anxiety or ‘all in their heads.’ Not dissing the ideas to help lower stress and burnout, but truly, any diagnosis of stress or anxiety for women should be treated with skepticism unless there was significant testing done beforehand.
If self-care is understood as surface level things like ‘relax’ or ‘take a nap’, then this makes perfect sense. You can’t just go from being a ball of stress to relaxed and comfortable and ready for the next thing life throws at you. It just doesn’t work that way. But if self-care is understood to be giving yourself the things you need, the emotional space, and the permission to do whatever is needed to get back to your center, then it seems like self-care is exactly what they’re talking about— caring deeply for yourself and getting those in your network to help you in your efforts. Did I miss something?
While I agree that we need to observe the abnormal changes happening in us, I don’t understand how it is not part of self-care. Also, they talk about approaching others to talk and express, etc., but no other cure. Talking to others could be helpful only to an extent and many people do not have the privileges to go and share their difficulties with others around them. In fact, many people slowly go away from you as soon as you start talking about your problems. They just want to listen to only pleasurable things (I know those are the type of people you don’t want to be with). That’s where self-care can help. I had experienced burnout for very long time, and I was very well aware of the changes happening in me. I could find people to express my situations as well. But, my life became better only after I seriously focused on self-care, which I learned from my nursing school. Self-care can include even things like getting professional help when needed. They should have talked about General Adaptation Syndrome. Also, they said you don’t feel like doing self-care when you are burned out. In reality, you have to start doing something to get motivation. For example, you don’t feel good and you don’t feel like going for a walk because you might be thinking that that won’t be helpful. In that situation, you are aware of your feelings, but you still go for walk without much interest. If you feel better after finishing the walk, you will develop motivation to do it next time. In my view, addressing the major causes of burnout is the best way to prevent it.
Best information ever received regarding burnout. Self-care does not help because if you’re truly burnout (like I have been experiencing) there is no motivation to do anything. Sometimes, it is a total depletion, indifference, and apathy. I’m at the stage of removing some of the major issues causing the burnout. As far as work, I have been to the point of fantasizing about quitting and zero concern about the consequences. The acknowledgment to others about how much you hate your job – it’s time to let it go.
This is great, but I can’t help but point out the whiteness of this perspective. In particular, this overlooks the history of “self-care” as a strategy developed within Black feminist activist circles that was aimed at **survival**, not healing, under the inescapable stressor conditions of white supremacy. The physiological & behavioral insights here are valuable, but the dismissiveness directed at self-care can come across as heartless.
The only way I could outrun a lion would be if the lion was old and arthritic! 😂 Only exercice burns cortisol but if you have a physical disability this can be very tricky. Some managers would just mock you if you told them you were burned out, however, many workplaces have Employee Care Programs that are confidential.
Thank you. This answered so many difficult and impossible things for me. People like this speak the truth. Moving through whatever the nervous system is dealing with is the real deal. Not once did someone mention somatic experience, but that is entirely what they are talking about. We do need others who can support our efforts to move toward health and wholeness. Don’t do it alone. When you feel like the going gets rough, don’t get going, ask for others to join you in the getting going, ask for support.
In real life there’s no support from work place. You have to learn to set boundaries. Basically learning to say no to unrealistic expectations. eg. I would if I could, but I’m sorry I can’t help you. Insert any non negotiable reasons, even if it’s not true. Because anyone that respects you would’ve respected your boundaries in the first place.
That was so healing to hear you say we me need support by people who love and care about us. I’ve had CFS/ME for 20 years. It’s destroyed my life and everything I wanted to do with it. I repeatedly tried telling girlfriends, friends and family I needed support, I needed to feel cared for, to feel loved, etc. Instead, they told me they don’t care and I needed to deal with it myself. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the odd one out; I’m guessing there are far too many people like me needing support, needing to feel valued, respected, loved and appreciated that don’t. So what do we do when we need support and cannot have it? I love what you say that there is probably someone on the other side of the looking glass wanting the same thing, but some of us literally don’t have those people. I think many of us are alone these days, whether physically, emotionally or both. What then? When there literally is no one in our lives but ourselves? When everyone we confided in pushed us away rather than welcoming us in? Where do go from here??
I was burned out from being a wife, a parent to 2 kids with ADHD, and a caregiver to my elderly Mother and then add in the pandemic. I actually ended up finding a therapist through Better Help and that seems to have helped a great deal. Its kind of expensive, though, and I went through 4 therapists before I found one that was good.
We often see “Self-Care” as the way that society has promoted it to us. The things they are talking about are true self-care (self-preservation) tending to our wellness. It’s not a one size fit’s all and it’s not about bubble baths and on bons. It’s hydrating, tending to your own health (mental and physical) and that may look different for each one of us depending on the season of our lives.
I really needed this article. I’ve been working with a née therapist who focuses on somatic therapy to help me with PTSD and burnout that just won’t end. Working with her, having someone who I feel listens and cares for me, as well as being shown how fundamentally rooted in my body my experiences and emotions are has opened up more paths within myself than 4 years of talk therapy. It’s been so hard and yet so good. One thing I’ve been finding is that with realizing, and truly feeling, that my emotions are tunnels, I havnt felt the fear of the discomfort as much as I feel terror at who I will be on the other side of the tunnel. It’s hard having to dislocate myself from identifying as the emotion and rather trust that I am a constant even as I go through these feelings. This article really really validated both those realizations and fears in a way I’ve been longing for, thank you so much
So before we clock in every day (I work in a grocery store deli), every employee has to check in with a store manager or head clerk so they can “go over a list of symptoms” (not really anymore, we all have them memorized by now), and if you have 3 or more symptoms then you have to go home and probably get COVID tested idk. So lately we’ve been short handed, and working too many days, and too many hours, so I walk into the front office, manager says “got any symptoms?” And I say “well I feel exhausted and I have stress stomach” and he’s like “well that’s only 2, here’s your sticker 👍🏼😀.” I know he’s not wrong but it’s still annoying. One time we were going over symptoms and I’m like “well every morning right before I leave for work, I get so anxious that I get diarrhea, but after that and a few deep breaths I’m ok.” And he says I should get out and ride my bike more again. I mean he’s not wrong but like I’m tired man lol get up early to work, clock out when it’s dark out, when I should ride a bike???
Recognizing your needs, even if that need is reaching out for help, is self help. You can’t expect others to know what’s going on in your head or body if you can’t recognize it yourself. There is a reason on airplanes they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Without you supporting yourself you are a detriment to the people around you. Building relationships with a community of caring people around you is SELF HELP. People need fellowship as a fundamental need for healthy living.
Emilie, I love your hair color, black with blue. It’s almost like Billie Eilish had “last year”. It’s so particular (reaction to this article) but I want it. I can mix it up with my white hair too. I suppose this is a bit of appreciation. Smile. I wonder if I’m a burnout. Even though those dresses are what other people’s are. I’m only halfway through so…
I found this is be very insightful. Unfortunately, when someone has an inherited condition like I do (hEDS) stress can certainly make it worse, but the lack of stress in my life will never cure me of health problems. So it can be a very damaging perspective for someone like me who practices Buddhism and takes mindfulness and stress into account, but still lives with some pretty severe health complications. My whole life has been doctors oversimplifying my health issues to just stress until I was referred to a geneticist. I inherited my EDS from my dad. Completely different health issue, but in 1988 my mom was told numerous times her gastro issues were the result of stress and in fact she had pancreatic cancer. Her cancer was removed with something called Whipple surgery which was fairly new at the time, and the local newspaper did a story on my mom about how it’s important to listen to your body and get other opinions. So, I’m just putting this out there, but some issues really are just medical problems.
I’ve struggled with how to help my stressed out wife. She tends to push herself to the breaking point. I think I just need to step in and say, “Pump the breaks, get a pedicure, go chill at the coffee shop.” I’m also trying to be a better listener because when she tells me about her problems I want to solve them. But she actually just wants a sympathetic ear.
Having had 3 stomach infection/ pain and only 30ish. Doctor told me it was linked to my stress and work pressure, I have had to learn to work on it by doing a lot of exercises, workout etc whatever that would divert me from work. I have had to take days off… in a way covid helped me to slow down cause I got furloughed.
If this ain’t me, than im not sure what is. What a perfect article to be shown my way. I NEED to incorporate this kindness to myself through everyday moment 9f my day. I forget to ask myself why and instead get irritated at myself for the stress of feeling low. So wild. Thank you for beautifully sharing such desirable information.
This is a topic not focused on enough to be honest. I quit my job and though I’m struggling I’ve been getting the rest I so desperately needed. I’ve been working since I was 16 and employers take advantage so much, and even when I was in physical pain I was ignored – as an adult my body is numb to it but my mind is not. It’s so much harder to get through the days when mentally I am barely there! Hoping my next place of employment puts emphasis on this topic, great Ted Talk
I’m curious to know if you have considered a cross-connect between burnout and emotional abuse. The reason I ask is that I’ve been out for a year and I’ve spent a lot of time researching abuse and tangental issues. Burnout explains a lot of things that happened before I caught on and left. “Un-meetable expectations and unreasonable goals” are a hallmark of emotional abuse.
I want to start by saying, they’ve done an amazing job addressing burnout and stress and give a lot of information in a very nice way for people to understand. I just personally have one objection. Self care isn’t having baths and buying fancy things. Self care is exactly what you did in this situation. Caring for your needs while in burnout. Taking time out, showing compassion and love to yourself and allowing yourself to recover. Purging your emotions and getting support is self care. That’s true self care. Just because other helped, it doesn’t mean it’s not self care. You took some time to care for yourself in any way that was helpful to you. The reason we call it self care, is because a main reason for burnout, is giving too much to others and not enough to cover your needs.
Welp, sadly my fam didn’t and can’t learn about my problems, they are pretty extreme, I learnt that true love, the type that is completely healthy give and take and even selfless and selfish… I have to in the end keep suffering cuz I’m too young to have a person who is intelligent enough to do this for me for free, all the time. CUZ THAT’S WHAT I SADLY NEED. SOMETHING THAT’S RARE 😭
I have a problem with overworking and perfectionism. I used to work 60hrs a week and it was too much for my body, so i cut it down to 45, except now i manage to do the same amount of work, just in 45hrs instead of 60. I know i need to lower my expectations of myself. I put so much pressure on myself because im terrified of failure. I love my job and i know i need to change before this kills me. Big goals are important but here’s no point killing ourselves to get there. We can change, we deserve happiness, we can do this! Xx
My wife said that this is wrong about caring and loving for someone with burnout. I’m the one with burnout. I thought this article would help her to understand but it didn’t unfortunately. I feel I struggle alone when I hit burnout. Oh well…life can be like that so I try to be kind and gentle to myself as well as I can be. I appreciate your efforts and awareness on this article and in no way I am putting my wife down. Not everyone is going to understand this as some people think just push yourself but burnout is beyond that. I explained to my wife and I think she struggled to comprehend it so not everyone is going to understand unless they have burnout themselves. She sees that when I’m burnout I’m depressed, dysregulated and she’s scared of me even though all I want is a warm loving hug. I can understand how she feels though because I used to drink to cope and my behaviour wasn’t the best. I’ve stopped drinking a while now but I think that fear is still there. I guess it’s something that we both need to work on and I know it’s going to take time but it’s me who wants to work on this more rather than my wife as it’s really my issue with the burnout and wanting that love where I’ll be in bed all day and I won’t be checked on once whilst she’s happily perusal Netflix all day. When you are so burned out it’s zero energy even to ask for a hug unfortunately and this is the sad thing. She says she’s not a mind reader knowing when I want a hug and I should go to her but when my batteries are completely gone there is no energy to go to her or send a message or call.
So before we clock in every day (I work in a grocery store deli), every employee has to check in with a store manager or head clerk so they can “go over a list of symptoms” (not really anymore, we all have them memorized by now), and if you have 3 or more symptoms then you have to go home and probably get COVID tested idk. So lately we’ve been short handed, and working too many days, and too many hours, so I walk into the front office, manager says “got any symptoms?” And I say “well I feel exhausted and I have stress stomach” and he’s like “well that’s only 2, here’s your sticker 👍🏼😀.” I know he’s not wrong but it’s still annoying. One time we were going over symptoms and I’m like “well every morning right before I leave for work, I get so anxious that I get diarrhea, but after that and a few deep breaths I’m ok.” And he says I should get out and ride my bike more again. I mean he’s not wrong but like I’m tired man lol get up early to work, clock out when it’s dark out, when I should ride a bike??? This reminded me of that lol Definitely relate to stress induced abdominal pain lol
Burn out in my opinion is our nervous system is out of sync, our sympathetic nervous system is way overloaded. I am still going through it atm, my doc said that I have GAD; which isn’t totally correct as it’s a result of prolonged stress. It’s a horrible journey but self care and med are helping me with my recovery journey, but its so so slow 😥🙏
I sooo wished I would have understood the signs before I got so sick. 3 brain surgeries in 2019-2020. I have horrible physical chronic pain and all the people I stressed so much over have been long gone. I don’t have support from my family and as my pain progress I have less control. Im angry and sad because my life has completely flipped upside down. But on the outside I physically “look fine.” I’m hoping as mental health issues are more acceptable in society, hidden diseases are takin more seriously to and everything that goes along with them. It started when I was 26 and now, I’m 28. It’s to young to feel like my life is over.
Wow. What an eye opener. I too grew up in a household were feelings weren’t felt with. I am also an identical twin too, (warm fuzzie) so seeing you beautiful ladies working together to solve issues I found very moving. “Stress” I like the tunnel enology. It is a great way to visualize it. There is a beginning and an end. 🥰 I love the way you see all this. The answer is more LOVE, & CONNECTION. I am finding myself a little more closed off, then intended. Work in progress. Thank you for sharing❣
I actually do not believe in stress this way, it is not good to compare the quick stress response with longtime stress and want tne longtime one to become the first one. It is not something new! People have had longtime stress for centuries, even thousands of years! Feudalism or long wars for example. And that means, I think we should revisit this theory of it being new and our body not used to it
well hello there, I come here for informed advice on my current situation so I can live at least a decent, productive life. what I’m asking is that if burnout is a sense of feeling of being overwhelmed and exhausted, while worrying you’re not doing enough. Then what do you call it when you lose almost all investment and motivation for past interests, likely as a result of prolonged stress, and you even struggle to even get prepared for the things you were interested/cared about and prepared for more quickly prior to losing those interests?
Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom Don’t wish for someone to save you. Wish for you to save yourself. Than help save others. The human mind and body is amazing and adaptable. Resilience can be learned. Endurance. Consistency. Discipline. Raise the bar, don’t ask others to lower it.
And back in the real world… Time? External and internal responsibilities? Accepting the fact that real life is dangerous. Sorry but this is just useless unless you don’t choose life as life is hard and requires effort and this means serious pressure. If you don’t accept the pressure of responsibility you will not learn and will be stuck in a self help echo chamber. You will go nowhere.
You should really preface that whole “doctor” intro there with PhD or something. Im a med student here, and when i hear 2 doctors being introduced to talk about burnout im thinking, “oh okay, these are people who really KNOW the ringer and have had real struggles” then you bring out a lady with a DOCTORATE IN MUSIC?? to talk about burnout? lmao. im sorry, but no. Literally ANY S.T.E.M. and i wouldnt have said a word… but a lady with a doctorate in fuckin music, man? real? c’mon. People literally use that as a meme ffs.