Stricter parenting can lead to higher academic performance or rebellious behavior, while authoritative parenting is more effective for social skills and self-confidence. Balancing discipline and nurturing involves clear rules, dialogue, flexibility, positive reinforcement, and being a role model. Children of strict parents often develop high anxiety and compulsive thoughts and behavior as they negotiate between underdeveloped capacities and authority figures.
While strict parenting can be beneficial in some ways, it often has negative effects on children’s autonomy and self-determination. Children may internalize high levels of pressure and criticism, leading to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. Research shows that strict parenting can have both positive and negative effects on a child’s development.
Strict parenting stifles a child’s natural curiosity and creative ability, and does not teach them how to make good choices for themselves. Children raised with authoritarian parents often have high expectations of themselves, which can help them reach their goals. While most people believe strict parenting produces better-behaved kids, research consistently shows that strict, or authoritarian parenting can have both positive and negative effects on a child’s development.
A University of Texas study showed that children parented by very strict parents get worse grades and show more signs of depression than kids who are not subjected to strict parenting. In conclusion, while strict parenting can lead to well-behaved, goal-driven children, it can also hinder autonomy and self-determination, causing more negative long-term effects on children.
📹 6 Signs Your Parents Are TOO Strict (OG Animation Style)
To commemorate our old style of animation, we invite a new animator to our team. In this style, you will be able to relive the simple …
What are the disadvantages of being raised by strict parents?
Children of authoritarian parents are more likely to be bullied and bullies due to lower self-esteem and exposure to modeled behavior at home. A study of 600 children aged 8 to 10 found that those with authoritarian parents exhibit more defiant, hyperactivity, aggression, and antisocial behavior. They also have more emotional problems and fewer prosocial behaviors. A University of Georgia study found that children with strict parents are more likely to act out and struggle with self-regulation and problem-solving. As children reach adolescence, they lack the skills to effectively regulate their own behavior and problem-solve on their own.
Do strict mothers have more successful children?
Strict mothers often provide their children with a perfect education and a good job, enabling them to speed up their career progression. However, parents’ recommendations can influence their children’s decision-making, even if they resist. For example, a daughter may resist her mother’s advice during an argument, as she may remember the same information that remains in her brain. Despite trying to avoid their parents’ will, they are likely to influence their choices, even when it is more convenient for them. This highlights the importance of parents’ guidance in shaping children’s decisions and career progression.
Do strict parents raise sneaky kids?
The text highlights the importance of trust in parenting for teenagers, despite strict parenting policies and a lack of discipline. Teens desire freedom to experience common experiences like parties and relationships, and parents should not villainize them for this desire. While strict parenting comes from a place of love and worry, it is crucial to trust that your teen can make responsible decisions. Building trust with your teen will make them feel more comfortable being honest and prepare them for adulthood.
By allowing them to make mistakes and pick up the pieces, you can help them make safe choices now, leading to safe choices later in life. By fostering trust, you can help your teen feel more comfortable being honest and prepare them for adulthood.
What age are kids most rebellious?
Mid-teens (13-15) are a critical period for rebellion, as they strive to develop their identity and differentiate themselves from the crowd. They often use opposition to gain power and face consequences for their actions, such as breaking rules or experimenting with drugs. Late teens (15-18) rebel due to delayed adolescence, as they are tired of being the “good kid” and want to create a new image for themselves. Both adolescence and late teens face consequences for their actions, highlighting the importance of understanding and addressing these challenges in adolescence.
What happens when you grow up with strict parents?
Seema Hingorrany, a trauma expert, has observed that individuals raised by strict parents often have distorted beliefs, anxiety, and self-criticism. Her research suggests that upbringing directly impacts how individuals view the world. Parents may feel they are doing a good job by instilling discipline, but children may mature too early or do things to keep their parents happy instead of discovering their true selves.
This can lead to burnout and chronic fatigue syndrome. Hingorrany’s research aims to understand how these individuals navigated their lives as kids and teens and how this continues to affect them as adults.
Are children with both parents more successful?
In her recent book, Kearney highlights the importance of having two parents in a child’s life, arguing that whether parents are married or not, also impacts their child’s success. This contradicts the trend in the U. S., where children are increasingly raised by single mothers, with the country having the highest rate of single-parent households globally. Kearney believes this arrangement harms children, widens inequality, and ultimately damages society. She is raising alarm bells and urging people to consider solutions, and her book has received positive reception, indicating her efforts to raise awareness.
Which parent is more important to a baby?
Babies often prefer their primary caregiver, especially after six months of separation anxiety. This can lead to parental burnout if the primary caregiver takes on more daily caregiving duties, even when another caregiver is available. This can result in exhaustion, stress, and resentment, impacting a parent’s well-being and the quality of time spent with their child. To address this issue, consider implementing strategies that allow one parent to take on more daily baby chores while still maintaining their child’s parental preferences.
What kind of parent is a rebellious child most likely to have?
An authoritarian parenting style can lead to children with low self-esteem, rebellious behavior, difficulty thinking critically, and emotional withdrawal. This type of parenting is often described as strict and inflexible, with high expectations and a “it’s my way or the highway” approach. Parents who expect their children to follow rules without questioning their reasoning and are strict and inflexible, may be more likely to have this type of parenting style. This type of parenting is controlling and lacks room for give and take, making it difficult for children to develop healthy relationships.
Are kids with strict parents more likely to rebel?
Research indicates that children raised with strict discipline tend to be more angry and rebellious as teenagers and young adults. This is because most adults were raised with some degree of harshness, leading to problems in self-regulation. This can manifest as anger, resentment, over-reaction, or rebellion against the limits imposed on them. Children raised with strict parenting are more likely to develop eating disorders.
Strict parenting also leads to more trouble and excellent liars. It undermines the parent-child relationship, as parents who relate punitively to their children cut off their natural empathy, making the relationship less satisfying. Parenting becomes harder for these parents as their children lose interest in pleasing them and become more difficult to manage. This makes for unhappy parents, and children who are parented strictly end up fighting with parents and carrying a chip on their shoulder. As they grow older, they look for love in the wrong places, leading to a negative impact on their relationships.
Are kids with stay at home moms more successful?
A Harvard Research Study reveals that children of working moms grow up to be just as happy as those of stay-at-home moms. The study, which included data from two cross-national social surveys of over 100, 000 men and women from 29 countries, found that children of working moms had more education, were more likely to be employed, advance their careers, and have higher annual earnings. Additionally, sons of working moms spent more time caring for their families.
The study also found that having an employed mother provides a model for managing both employment and domestic responsibilities and promotes attitudes of gender equality. Additionally, research shows that when mothers work, there is little change in the quality time parents spend with their children, even if they don’t have time to make homemade pastries for the bake sale.
How does having strict parents affect a child?
A study by Sotheara found that strict parents and violent parenting can lead to sleep deprivation, eating disorders, anxiety, low self-esteem, and poor academic performance in children. These children may change their thinking, eat more, sleep more, and perform worse at school. Some kids even have the courage to talk to their parents, but their parents often mock them, worsening the situation. A new coping mechanism for teenagers dealing with home trouble is finding support on social media among peers.
A 2015 study by researchers at the Royal University of Phnom Penh found that over 60% of students and faculty members lived with depression or anxiety, with some reporting strict parenting as the cause.
📹 People who grew up with STRICT PARENTS, What was the Craziest Rule or Punishment? – Reddit Podcast
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My parents aren’t as strict as some people, but I can relate to all of these points so I may be wrong. A conversation I had a few days with my mom, “did you put deodorant on?” “Yes.” “What deodorant did you put on?” “The one in the medicine cabinet.” “Are you sure you put deodorant on?” “Yes.” “I think you’re lying.” One thing I’ve noticed about myself recently is that I don’t really know who I am or what I like. I act differently around different people, and my “me” is usually just an aspect of myself bouncing off the vibes of those around me. I can’t even figure out how I feel now. I write something, I stop and think, and then I realize that what I just said doesn’t feel right. Edit: I was lying about the deodorant. I just felt like I was being interrogated over something so small. It hurt a little bit.
I suffer from all 6 listed, and due to being treated with too much freedom after the abusive figure was out of life, I dived straight into a downward spiral which I’m still trying to climb out of. If anyone can relate, please, do all of us a favor and like this so we all have a reminder that we are not alone.
✨ Timestamps & Titles ✨ 0:38 The Inner Critic 1:32 The Bad Person 2:17 The Art of Lying 3:01 The Rules 3:50 The Rebel 4:30 The Sadness Remember that being a very strict parent does not mean they have bad intent. Some do, but some really love you and think it’s the best course of action. I know not everyone grew up with the same loving parents as I did, but, remember that there are people who love you and care for you.
Having grown up with controlling parents, I find that I value independence above anything else. When I’m around others, so often I tend to feel like they want my energy, my focus, my listening and caring – but don’t give back in kind. I often wonder if this is because, growing up with controlling parents, my needs and feelings weren’t really a priority or part of the family decision-making process. “You need to do what we expect of you — and we expect you to subvert your needs to please us.”
I match these signs very well. My parents are strict. I didn’t say were, I said are. And before you say they are probably strict and loving, I accidentally mentioned stress and family members in the same sentence, and within a second my dad was pinning me to a corner by my shirt collar, almost choking me. The ADHD doesn’t help (I’ve been diagnosed, but my parents believe it went away, despite all logic. It’s a similar story with depression, except I was never diagnosed. It’s been a long 5 weeks. And it definitely doesn’t help that I lost someone a week ago. I can’t just leave, either. I have no resources, no close friends, nowhere to run. It feels like I’m stuck, biding my time until something eventful happens.
My father was an authoritarian, I developed the following that I have worked on and discovered the wrinkles that needed ironing out of myself. -black and white thinking. -alcohol addiction, I use to binge drink to soothe my emotions and escape reality. -inability to set boundaries for myself and how others treated me,resulting in extreme behaviour and suffering in silence. -great achievements by looking after my career and excelling, while not looking after myself and health. Being raised by an authoritarian parent is a blessing and a curse, I encourage everyone to learn about yourself,your curses and work on ironing out the wrinkles that this upbringing caused you . Best wishes to all ❤🙏🏻
My story is that growing up I always had help available with projects, be it school or other things. As the years passed I realized that the ‘help’ I had with my projects where more: “do it this way and you’ll get a good result” except I wanted to try things a little differently by using my own ideas to learn what did and didn’t work and why. When I tried to incorporate them into my projects then, according to my mother, her ideas were always better, she was never wrong, and because she was older she had the final say. I’m glad to have finally moved out for that reason (among others) but even now she still tries to ‘help’ even if I don’t ask for it. She can ‘help’ by letting me learn how to handle things on my own, because now I’m behind on experiencing how to make and go through with my own decisions.
The key to parenting is consistency. The rules can’t change day by day. Strict but also loose. Define the rules clearly and stick to them. Make exceptions in some cases. Give the kids choices. Let them pick between 2 or 3 things for dinner. Give them chores and rewards for completing them. Raising kids is easy peasy if you’re consistent. They basically raise themselves if you do it right.
As someone who is still fairly new too parenting, I love perusal these types of articles from you to help remind me of certain perspectives like this one. As someone who had parents so strict I still get anxious to ask about things because I just know I’m getting told no, I have to keep on myself not to pass that onto my daughter
I was raised in a semi strict home- 26 now and I’m definitely very sneaky… I am also abit of a perfectionist in things I DO choose to do, sometimes to the point it takes me awhile to get it done. Also several times growing up where I felt like anything I did just ‘wasn’t good enough’. I don’t think it came from a bad place at all, my parents were just basing things off how they were raised and truly thought it was the right thing.
I’ve noticed codependency in myself. personally, my parents were very extreme with expectations and would drop you like a hot potato and leave you just to float around if you didn’t live up to them. Now I’m 26, single, barely have a social life, and don’t really know or care what I do with my life. Wich is both, stressful and awkwardly freeing.
Mom was extremely paranoid about the pop culture we consumed. Anything that didn’t get her stamp of approval was evil and bad and stupid and we were supposed to think ourselves above such horrid forms of entertainment. She created so many forbidden fruits that as soon as I was able, I watched as many violent movies as I could, the bloodier the better. During my college years, I’d feel like I was “rebelling” whenever I watched an R-rated movie even though I logically knew I was an adult and I could watch whatever I wanted.
I’m still feeling the heartache of all six signs. 20 years later. While I am fortunate to have therapy and medications, there are days where it likes to give me a huge kick in my back. Reminding me that it’s still there. As much as I’d like to say “You can do this. Hang in there.”, I know it’s not that simple. Because I wanted to give up too many times. On what? Well too many things to list. But what I can say is this: Being rebellious helped me to seek help.
Boy can I relate, especially the bad person part. My father was a strict, no nonsense, fundamental Baptist. He would tell me I was a bad person on a near daily basis. Nothing was ever good enough for him and he always conjured up new and unobtainable standards on a whim with the excuse that God told him to. I hear that inner critic in my head every single day of my life and it sounds just like him.
I got a lot of this. I was constantly criticized for things due to my blindness and autism. I wasn’t allowed to make messes, make mistakes without being criticized. I wasn’t allowed to stim or do things that were beneficial to my blindness or autism. If I ran into things, I’d either get laughed at or judged for not perusal where I was going. I wasn’t allowed to show emotions, or if I didn’t communicate what was wrong, I’d still get crap for it. Now I limit myself from making mistakes, I limit myself from being my true self, I limit myself from showing any emotions that aren’t linked to happiness.
For a lot of my life, I felt distant from my parents and siblings. Even at the times, I would get extremely angry at them for the simplest things like smacking, messing/pranking me, or just not listening to me. This has all combined into me feeling depressed all the time, it has even caused me to fall behind on my school work, and it has made me feel like I’m in a dark void unable to escape. And my parents would just like it to be something dealing with mental like ADD or some else. I now know that is not sick but I just dealing with habits that I have.
Oh gosh, growing up religious, and not even fundamentalist, but with arbitrary rules like going to church on Sunday no matter the cost, or only listening to religious music even though yoiu hate it, or being stranded when my car broke down and my parents wouldn’t come pick me up because they had to teach Sunday school. That’s just a few examples, but it took therapy for me to find out my parents skewered interpretation of the Bible gave me a laundry list of problems I took into my adult life. I’ve only really learned to love and accept myself in the past five years after religion told me to hate myself.
When I was itty bitty, my mom didnt realize I had ASD and ADHD. She just thought I was super smart, but also intentionally ignoring her instructions. She thought I was being a bad kid (and granted, I was her first kid, and she was in her 20s) so I was brought up with a mindset of “If I don’t get a good grade, I’m stupid and a failure…”. And I would learn the art of sneaking snacks at midnight so as to avoid immediate reprimand and a ‘no’. Also, as a result of witnessing and participating in many arguments, I will try to prevent conflict at all costs. Once she learned more on my ASD and ADHD, and how she had affected me, she changed her understanding. She started off unawaredly authoritarian, but then shifted towards authoritative. So now we are all good, but that stuff from back then still impacts me – my inner critic hasnt left, they’re just reading a series of novels until my next mess up
No privacy and having your room search and taking your bedroom door away. Be grounded for two to three months for something you didn’t do. Being blamed for everything going wrong. Being forced to sing nursery rhymes and watch baby shows I like Barney and Sesame Street and Care Bears. Being forced to read books about being selfish and whining, losing your temper. Because forced to write lines of a dictionary. Having every thing taken away. This what I went through growing up in strict household with military parents.
I mean, I had a harsh inner critic and I had thought that if I beat myself up for things then more people would leave me alone. I didn’t even grow up in a strict household, it was the school environment I was in that made it seem like everything I did was wrong and if I made a mistake I would get punished. I didn’t tell my parents about it because I thought that I deserved it and I should’ve done it the right way. I told my mom about it and she said that she would’ve stood up for me and just keeping it to myself is only punishing myself and my family for years because of something that happened at school and why I’m afraid to make mistakes now.
I always told my friends that my parents have always been what I call “weirdly strict” as they never were as bad as some of my friends but still made my upbringing a nightmare. My friends never understood what I meant by this but this article finally gives me closure. For context: my parents were the type that pretty much encouraged me in high school to party and drink but would crucify me if I so much as disagreed with what they wanted “for me” and still are to this day as a soon to be 23 year old who is out of the house
Another one is giving up easily. As I’ve gotten older its gotten to the point that when there’s a challenge such as explaining yourself it’s better to just give up than attempt to explain. It feels better to just shut up and do what you’re told and have something to follow. Especially when something feels overwhelming you just procrastinate and result to give up.
I am perusal your website for a few years now and I like the style articles from you. 🙂 I´m no professional, but I´d like to share my thought. In my opinion the opposite parenting style, to much “freedom” (no rules) can lead to a feeling of being abandoned/not cared for/not being loved enough/needs not met/etc… in various sections of your life. Of course depending on if you´re a toddler, a teenager or a young adult, your needs shift. I hope I don´t trigger somebody with my comment. 🙂
It has been a hot minute since I’ve seen this style of animation! It’s neither here nor there for me; I enjoy perusal these articles no matter what! In any case, its situations like these that make me remember how grateful I am for my stepdad and my mom. While my father wasn’t a bad person by any means, he was never there for us ever since he returned from deployment. He’s someone who was never able to defeat his inner demons, and it destroyed him. Nowadays I don’t even KNOW where he is. Sigh… oh well. I cannot let the past control me or define me. The side of me that cares about what others think of me and me caring about how I act and behave around others is OVER; THAT ship has sailed! I know who I am, my limits, my capabilities, and what I like and dislike and I am HAPPY with it! 😀
I resonate with 1.2,3 and 6 the most. I’m not interested in anything anymore, I’ve never went over to any friends house my whole life, I kept transferring schools, my resulted in me being very introverted, and quiet. I was not allowed to talk to others to the point I preferred not to, but now that I’m in highschool, I’m struggling because i cannot go on without interacting, and I’ve realized how much it affected me. I’m a very plain person, with no interest to anything at this point. a clean slate, idk if that’s a good thing.
The number 4 hits so hard. I’ve got such a hard time to socialize or do anything without some kind of routine or rules. It think that, because of the autonomy they give me at work, it got better, but it’s still hard, I get lost sometimes. And I just can’t have confidence in myself without feeling cocky.
A suggestion? Maybe do a article on top reasons why you are cause of your depression. Like I don’t really like the really sugar-coated content, I wanna encourage you guys to try out newer topics instead of constantly gearing the content to be just for people who don’t want to take responsibility, like make content that tells you the brutal truths, reasons why your depression is caused by you bad habits. And sometimes to anybody who is reading this, if you want to get out of your rut, try your best, and if you have addictions like drugs, overeating, and pornography I encourage you to drop these habits.
My mom was a bit strict about me hanging out with kids outside of school. My dad was a little more lenient tho. But hey at the end of senior year I made it count with hanging out with friends i had before covid hit. Just did some end of year activities for senior year. Which the memories will always stay with me! Its sad in a way, but pretty cathartic and beautiful as well! But the interesting thing is that every girl I was attracted to in school, which was a good few, all pretty much moved on. Never felt confident about asking them out in the past.
I relate to most of these except the rebellious kind. I am more on the submissive type unless provoked to my limit. It is sad how we become our biggest enemy when we aren’t raised according to our needs. 🙁 But I am recovering and working to get the life I deserve! Thanks Psych2Go for this eye opener. ❤
Holy shit! #4 the rules makes so much sense on why I couldn’t fit in as my parents were EXTREMELY strict to me and to follow “the rules” so much so that other kids found me to much of a square and I struggled to associate with them, same with parties, I just don’t know what to do, same with big groups, I keep quiet and out of the way as my parents wanted.
I’ve have the worst parents that treat me like shit and don’t let me do anything and I’m always sneaking out and smoking and drinking. And I have friends with hood parents that let them do whatever and they never smoke or drank so that’s a perfect example of being too strict. Strict parents raise sneaky kids.
I have a strict mom, my parents are divorced . I know that my mom loves me, and that she would do anything for me, but she is very strict. She doesn’t let me wear stuff like tank tops and spaghetti straps, and would 100% prefer if I wore only wide leg pants. She let me get some boot cut pants, but if she was looking for pants for me, she always get the most shapeless wide leg pant. I am 13, and a little chubby. I have a twin sister( we are not identical) and she is skinny. My mom buys her the tightest flare pants and skinny jeans. She lets her wear cropped shirt that show some stomach, and spaghetti straps. There is nothing wrong with my sister being able to wear that, except that she won’t let me. She says ” you have to dress for your body type” and body shames me. I was trying to buy a swimsuit out with her, and she wanted me to get a tankini, while she got my sister a v cut bikini. I ended up convincing her to let me buy a normal swimsuit, but she said ” you can get it if you think you look okay in it, but I think you should cover up and dress for your body type. I’m not even super overweight, just a little chubby, and I’m turning 14 in January so I’m not freshly 13 either. I am very sporty and okay sports as much as possible at school, and ride horses on the weekends. I am very strong. My mom is also that of an almond mom. My mom is sometimes more strict than others, sometimes I can wear spaghetti straps in town, sometimes I can’t even wear a vest style shirt because it shows too much of my shoulder.
The fact that strict parents always criticize you for everything is sad. One day my father was explaining me something, and I was silently listening to him. After a while, he asks if I am even listening to him. I say “yes. I am listening to you.” And there he goes and says ” I don’t think so. I think I am barking in front of you”. I really don’t know how to explain my parents or gain my trust. They never trusted me. I wish we will be able to get out of this….take care to everyone <3
I love your articles and your goals for them! One thing I was wondering is if you could make another article on helicopter parenting? I feel personally that not many people talk about it and as someone who has to deal with that sadly it’d mean a lot to me if you could since the other article you made on it was made awhile ago thank you if so. *PS So so sorry if I sounded rude or demanding because that’s not what what I’m trying to do. also your other article on it teached me the term for that style of parenting and I’m really thankful that you made that article awhile back 🙂 I just watched that article yesterday 😛
I’ve a question. How to get through a parent that seems to find depression ‘just a joke’? The kind of parent you’re not close with. The one that never think about privacy and go through your stuffs proudly. The one that disapprove your interest and then question why the child never talk about their interest to them. The one that gets mad when you’re sick. The one that brush away your struggles as ‘it’s just a phase of life’. The one that accused and humiliated their children publicly. The one that wants people to done everything ‘my way’. It’s from my own experience and others who have toxic family. Is there a way to solve these issues?
It hurts knowing my parents dismiss mental health by saying “you’re mental if you have a mental health issues” or ” stop overreacting so much! You don’t have (any mental health issues), you’re just a kid! What do you know?” I tried to get help from my school when I was still in primary and when I just had ENOUGH,I kept talking to teachers which made me feel a lot better knowing I’m telling my feelings and struggles to someone where they don’t dismiss me. But it got kind of bad to the point they had to visit my house to talk to things to my parents when I told them not to because of what they might think of me for telling them my problems,so they made up stuff saying “oh they’ll take you away from us!” It’s quite crazy of what they see on Facebook tbh 💀 because my teachers told me to go to a therapist but my parents thought that….and my dad had to go drop me off there and said “I don’t have time for this,I need to go to work,tell your teacher that you don’t wanna go or something…or just say your scared.” He then just walked off and never talked to me about it again. It’s like my parents aren’t helping me mentally and they’re isolating me from getting any help because of their concerns.
I grew up with a very emotionally abusive stepfather and a mom who basically denied he was abusive and just said “it isn’t just you, it’s everyone” blah blah. I’m 31 now and just saw my therapist and he told me I’m having a mental breakdown and he attributes it to a lot of things I’ve carried with me from that experience. It follows you. And it can be scary at times, I’ve developed habits I’m actively ashamed of. Here’s to hoping I don’t carry them for much longer
The weird thing about my upbringing a was that my mom actually discouraged me from things like studying. She was strict with other things, if I didnt feel exactly the same way as she did about everything, id get yelled at, if I expressed any desire to move away, id get yelled at. Basically, she expects me to be a mini her and live with her forever. But anyway, I experience all of the things in the article.
My old carer’s never had high expectations they even said to me I might as well learn to clean BC that’s all I am ever capable of but it turned out I was really good at catering but at that point they already made me do a leaning thing in college when I wanted catering and now trying to do anything that I want to do I just give up and I know I shouldn’t but I know I’m stupid and I wil mess it up
These strict parents think …they will control life of their child and constantly made them realise that they are providing money and comfort and so children should behave according to them but they don’t know darkside those children slowly start to develop hate feelings and whenever they will get chance they will show … U the rage 😢
Honestly. My grandma is so unfair. So I asked to go skating with my friends and she said “where” and I said idk cause I didn’t know which one we were going to. She then said ” I can just see you lying so you can go to insert town or somewhere like that” LIKE BRO. THE ONLY REASON I WOULD EVER LIE LIKE THAT IS TO GO SEE MY BEST FRIEND THAT YOU LOVE TOO THAT YOU NEVER LET ME GO FREAKING SEE.
I’m 22 but going on 23 like almost in the next five months right until now which is actually going to be on the 9th of August. And I always do feel very ridiculous teased & even criticized by my mom just quite literally because. She does not allow me to go outside & by having sleepovers at a friend’s house or even by going to bigger places without her having constantly like that involves by having a panic or a cardiac problems while I am not home. And plus I oftenly do feel like I am physically, verbally, mentally, & emotionally abuse just quite literally because she expects me to live on her unrealistic very high goals & expectations too as well. And so that’s explains why about the whole fact that I really truly do want to find a job & move out just as soon as possible with my older brother Zeke but mostly with my oldest sister Kandy who is actually my very close best friend just quite literally because I have already do know how to survive without someone dragging me down with everything I what, think or even say something wrong. And so this also explains why that strict parenting is the lack of communication & as by building trustworthy does effect towards teens, & even grown-up children’s who is either on the autism spectrum disorder or not. This strict parenting is the lack sanity & I do tend to go insane sometimes. I also did found this article very helpful 😀 yes most definitely at a 100% for sure 👍🏽 indeed.
Honestly I do tend to lie as a trauma response, especially when I’m put on the spot I try to act dumb to avoid conflict, or really any measure to avoid conflict – but it’s held me back, and also hurt people around me, I even caught myself doing it again yesterday, and it was something stupid really. It comes from a need to justify myself all the time, and also because not my step parent but my sisters mum when my dad was with her, she was very strict and I tried to hide a lot about her, even when I was being bullied at school. I think school also being unsafe as well as home most days really didn’t help, I feel very lucky that I had my mum who I’d stay with sometimes and my nana. My nana was the opposite of strict, she spoiled me a lot actually. She turned out to be more toxic as I got older and more distant, like a lot more dismissive of said past trauma I faced and all that, so I can’t confide in her now, but my mum is on my side and it feels nice to be heard. I just wish dad broke up with my sisters mum sooner, could’ve saved the ruins of my life from the ages of 7/8 to 12/13, but I’m doing what I can now to take control by learning more about it all, and healing from it
I never wanted to express my feelings and thoughts on youre articles, cos i thought i wouldve sounded weird. But, i was being always watched over by my parents, everything i do and say, depends on them. Ive just turned 14 and as a teen girl, its so difficult about me to have way too strict parents, i dont get to go to parties, neither fun with my friends, neither have guy friends.. I know they want me to be safe and sound, but ive had enough.. Its like i am a bird in a cage. Its overwhelming and sad. I even get laughed at or bullied since i dont have any social skills, and i dont use social media. Everytime i scroll on my phone, they grab my phone and hide it, im so worried, my mental health is so bad, and i have low- self esteem. I find it so hard to open up to somebody, im scared i get laughet at. To whoever that reads this, god bless you, hope everything gets better for you ❤
I was definitely got good at lying. I wasn’t allowed to be on my tablet for more that ten minutes during the day(and all we had was learning-type games), so I would sneak it into my room at night and watch YouTube into the wee hours of the morning. I’m hindsight, I was 12, and it wasn’t that harsh, but there were so many other rules that I knew I couldn’t break, so this was my one chance to be even slightly rebellious.
I have ADHD and can be slow at working and doing things but to my mom and dad they think that that’s not enough and that is not a good enough of a reason and like I’m using it as an excuse and a crutch to not work or do anything, and them yelling at me over it if it’s not done right or if they feel I haven’t done enough during the day or anything at all
There parents are/were very strict.Their upbringing was highly curbed with restriction.I mean they were raised as if they are/were in a convent. Neither the parents tried to understand them nor they ever unfolded themselves.There was a lack of communication amongst themselves. I still remember them saying that why I didn’t met them before.I wish I had and had taken care.Nevertheless I always tried to understand them and listen to them patiently. Last when they met I had talked to them in the most sweetest way without any second thought.Actually I was hesitant in approaching them coz I thought it would annoy them and would make them offended so I used to pass by them by keeping my head and eyes down.Such was my modesty and concern for them. I still remember the incidences which they had shared about their childhood…..all fresh in my memories.
My mom scares me. I relate to all of these signs and it hurts to know that. I love my mom, but I just can’t wait until I’m finally able to move out. I barely get any privacy and any sort of negative emotion I feel has to be suppressed, or else I’m going to be punished. I’m not even allowed in my room before bedtime so if I’m feeling sad or angry, I can’t show it until bedtime when I’m finally alone. And even then I fear that my mom or my dad will walk in in the middle of the night and see me. It’s exhausting, and it feels so, so constricting. I can barely breathe. I feel like a terrible person for feeling this way because I love my mom, and I love my parents. But I need my privacy. I need to be able to feel whatever I want in the place I’m supposed to call home. 2 years feels too long to wait until I’m finally free.
See, it’s odd, because most of these I find relate to me, but I don’t see the resulting behaviors my parents are supposed to be exhibiting in my memories. My inner critic is actually way, way nicer after years of working on him, but it’s not like my parents had any real expectations of me at all. My thoughts and my actions are misaligned that everything feels pretty fake, when it comes to lying, my favorite one to tell is “I’m an excellent liar” because behind it are three truths for me, the first being that an expectation like that is easy to subvert, the second is that I can’t even keep my actual thoughts straight and organized, having to deal with my own lies on top of that is so much extra effort I simply can’t afford, and third, if I’m honest, then the one time I really need to lie, for something important, for the sake of something large, then when I need to be believed, I will be. The rules… Okay you got me there, I definitely internalized and felt trapped by the rules I followed without question as I grew up and out and realized people are kind of imperfect and human. The rebelliousness, the sadness, the feeling more comfortable in school or in the work place, you got me there, but I just don’t see overtly strict behaviors in my memories, I feel like I see the opposite. Though I think I’m changing my mind as I type this. I’ll think on it, maybe I’m refusing to acknowledge something. Thanks for your work and effort, I appreciate all the help you put out into the world, I hope it helps others as much as it makes me think and reflect.
S**t … At EVERY SINGLE point, my eyes just kept opening wider and wider. I mean : this IS me ! I feel quite disturbed with this fact in mind now But i’m glad i can now deal with my thought, even if it’s often by using point 3 and by doing reckless thing “in accord” with the point 5 Hope this article will make people just a bit more aware of those side effects 🙂
I have a friend who he has told me his step is to strict i’ve seen he’s too strict but my friends Walmart face him and I happen because it’s not my place but I am very much considering because they restrict him from being with playing article games and restrictions and doing a lot of things that he enjoys are harmless in entirety
Remember, “All children deserve good parents, but not all parents deserve good children.” -When children are raised in the strict life of going through hell of society, or any type of abuse or neglect. It affects them to grow up and become that way as adults. If your parents and both their sides of the families treated them that way like a living hell for them growing up, later they learn from it as adults, and show respect for how it was for them and learn to accept it. And then they pass it down to you. Which is actually in the wrong. However, It wouldn’t be very reasonable for them to be that way, if they weren’t raised to become so strict and neglectful. If they weren’t, then you’d be angrily asking your parents “If your parents weren’t sooo strict to you, then why do you have to be that way with me?!?! Ugh! Why can’t you be more like them?!” And all they can say is “Well, because you live in our house by our rules!” Without even giving an explanation, rather than tell you what makes them that way, or what their backstory is of it for the matter of it. Sometimes they don’t even have a reason why. They just choose not to be easy-going and teach you more discipline to be raised with. It wouldn’t be fair at all if they had a great life growing up, and then they treat yours like a living hell! Moral of the point I’m trying to make: If you don’t like how your parents/relatives treat you, or how life treated you, then you need to become better than that. It’s hard. But don’t treat others like that especially your own kids.
My parents do this to me everyday and it hurts so bad even as an adult they still act like this. Don’t get me wrong I love them so much and they did save me and my sister from physically, emotionally and sexually abusive birth parents and I think they are strict with us because of our trauma and they want us to be productive members of society and want us to have proper guidance as they know our trauma makes us more vulnerable to getting lead down the right path it already happened with me before my parents adopted me I had ran away from my foster home multiple times and got involved in gangs and drug trade so I understand why they are so strict with me even though I’m an adult and don’t live with them but they constantly demand to see my location and demand to know what I’m doing all the time and if they catch me lying then they will flip out and shame me for my decisions. I get they just trying to keep me from getting abused again but it’s also like have some faith mom and dad I’m not a bad kid and I have grown up into a protective member of society. So my parents weren’t always horrible just overly strict which sometimes caused more harm than good and I feel like the reason they where especially strict with me was because I was the most rebellious and rambunctious one and I also had behavioral issues too so I did require a bit more attention than most kids both me and my sister since my parents adopted two kids that experienced severe trauma and never trusted adults in the first place so I get why they where strict with us especially since we never got proper guidance till we where adopted and they just wanted us to have proper guidance in life.
Really? My parents doesn’t even acknowledge the part of mental health 🫠 when I told my mom that my mental health is very bad according to my test and it is one of poor health in our class she just laughed saying ” wow your mental health is poor? Oh that unless….. leave that ” . Like what I will leave???
Earlier my Dad had a talk with me. My mind and body was so depressed. Idk how else to explain but when I work. My Dad says I let the girl meaning my girlfriend effect my work performance bad. And then he asked me why I don’t want to let go of her. What made me so attracted to her that don’t want to let go of her? I couldn’t give him an answer. The article does feels like me and good job on the article btw. I need some help of a sign on idk what to do now?
this types of parents plus the broken school system = massive emotional damage I’m a nursing student, and I’m really tired of learnin garbage that isn’t related to my field of choice and regurgitating those things i “memorize” not learned on a piece of paper that will define my future as a numerical value. I really am passionate about this field of expertise, heck i even want to be a doctor but financial problems says otherwise. Why can’t i just focus on subject on the medical field?! why do i need to learn art appreciation? tf am i gonna do with that on the hospital? how about rhythmic arts? am i supposed to play drums while surgeons operate on the patient for emotional support and entertainment? those useless subjects are just the top of the iceberg.I really value my time, I don’t really like wasting time on studying stupid stuffs, it’s affecting my performance on the subject that I’m really supposed to learn. This school system is slowly killing my interest to genuinely learn and diminishing my mental health at the same time lmao then there’s also my parents that always reminds me that the best i can do will not always be enough, that’s the peak of toxicity right there since they only see me as a walking financial investment. my plan is just to live on my own somewhere near a shore just to watch sunsets and night sky everyday, quite simple isn’t it? but the process in order to achieve such goals are insanely hard it doesn’t make sense. guess i just got unluck on where i spawn, just a circus life full of jokes and clowns, pretty funny isn’t it?
Hello Psych2go! I’m really confused about myself, and the more i research the more i get further away from the truth. So,,, I tought of your website, beacuse you explain things so god damn well, and you already helped me so much with my mental health. Soo,, I was wondering if you could make a article about becoming aromatnic. I don’t know if that even can happen, but i hope not. The worst part is that I can even see why would i become aromantic. (I have a bad history with crushes). Also, I indentyfied as demiromantic before, but… I just don’t know anymore.. I kinda like but also don’t like somebody.. I guess im quoiromantic(if that’s a thing), but just in case i would really apprecaite if you could help me with this. Actually, even this(writing this comment) helped, so thank you already!
I have been growing up with this. When I was only 10 I wanted to kys at 11 I had big emotions and my parents would never care about them. I’m just so good at lying now I was and am always criticized by my mom. I try to get out of the house as much as I can. My dad is actually nice and supportive. I had my first vape at 10. Just remember even though I would get nice stuff that doesn’t mean my mom was nice. She was very manipulative and that made me a good manipulator
My parents are so strict, they literally make me want to kms. No social media, you need to socialize more, oh you were on your phone talking to people again, like dumbass you told me to socialize??? Turn in your phone at night, tell me everything that is on your mind, why are you so sad? you have a great life, why don’t you want to tell us your feelings? I’m surprised you don’t want a gf, like wtf I’m not dragging someone else into this prison, they don’t need depression too
I feel like my parents are stunting my growth because for my 14th birthday I wanted heels my mom says I half to wait until I am 18 or grown, I also asked when I can get a belly button piercing and she said that I had to wait to be 18 I would understand 16,but 18 I just feel like thair is no room for growth, and I do have thoughts of being glad when I get to have more freedom, I remember I asked to go to Disney because I haven’t been scinc I was 1 years old and one of my moms close friends were weeling to take me but, she had a son who I am not even interested in but, she didn’t feel comfortable with me being around her son. I also catch myself lying about stuff, and I used to feel guilty, but I do it so much that I dont even feel the guilt anymore and, at the end of the day I have what I want but,when I have children I won’t be as strict with them as my parents are with me .
When I lie sometimes I get caught when my mother finds me out it’s not always easy to be sneaky though when you have controlling family members because it doesn’t just stop with mom if you have siblings they have problems too they too have the trait of controlling parents or in my case a single mother my sister isn’t as bad but she still is but my mother even has my eldest sister in tears sometimes like she does me but my brother and sister are no different in a dysfunctional family that I have as a Africa American woman love the articles psych2go anyway that’s my story
Personally, I don’t know how to react when someone invited me to party or how to stay when their have lot of people. I thought I have introvert personality and thats why. Actually its not. I’m already 18 years for 2023 and my parents not allowing me to go outside alone. At least for meet my friends. If I go,then my aunty(the person who worked our house) also come with me. Even it is friends meeting. They thinks they protects me. But they do not. They only protect me physically not mentally 😢 its really really hard. All my friends go out alone. But I don’t. If I talked with opposite gender, they blame me. I don’t know why. They thinks I am talking to them to marry or something. Even they don’t know I have opposite gender friends. If I said I have opposite gender friends, I will be die at that moment. Since I’m child, my parents didn’t allow me to talk with people. As a result now I’m scared to talk with people. I don’t know why still they choose who I should talk with and not. They are filtering my friends and tells me do not talk with that friend. Talk with only this friend.. sooo many thing. In my age, lot of people have lot of friends. But I only have one. Because of my parents.😢 If I become parent, i will never do this to my children. I will allow them to do whatever they want in their life. If you are parent, who is reading my comment, please do not let this happen to your child.
I had a Karen mom that’d only reward me if I did well in school. But her standards were sky high for me and to me quite unrealistic. It’s why I game all the time. It’s where I’m the most free. Free from my parent’s expectations. Everyone talks about male abusers, but female abusers can be just as bad. Because of her I have self loathing issues and difficulty starting projects. Even small ones. I fear failing and getting mocked or ridiculed for it. It’s why I’m on my computer all the time and why I value my online relationships more than my familial relationships. IRL, I’m even mildly sociopathic, not caring about much in my own home, but outside of it, I care deeply about my reputation. I’m paranoid about it now, whereas when I was growing up I didn’t care about what others thought of me. Ironically enough, it gave me a positive reputation back then.
This is why I don’t like parents and teachers who think they can play God in the name of discipline. I don’t mean to sound racist but from what I understand it’s rather common in countries in the Far East such as Japan or South Korea. And it’s not that I hate them as people, I’m sure many of them are as nice as anyone else. But I don’t like the way they discipline people because I think it creates an unhealthy society that’s too hard on itself and I feel bad for them. It makes me sad. Because I don’t mean to generalize or mean offense to anyone but my impression is that such parents fail to see the difference between compassion and humanity and pampering or spoiling your child. And it’s not like the western world is such a great mentality either because we are sometimes too permissive. But being on either on end of the spectrum is no good, there’s got to be a middle way somewhere, the trouble is finding it and creating the right balance
Well one thing that I can say is that I did experiment with drugs and then I started to drink 🍻 I mean I did get it together cause I’m almost 30 now I got myself together three years ago I quit smoking,drinking,having sex,everything I’ve been astaning from sex for four years I want a wife and I wanna start a family 👪 So anyways God bless everyone who comes across this comment 🔥🕊✝️🤲🏾
Most of these are not ‘strict parents’, they’re straight up child abuse. ‘And some of it, like the whooppings, was practically the only acceptable form of discipline for even those of us whose parents were sensible people. And they wonder why we’re all screwed up and bitter with the older generations. Shouldn’t having a “broom handle broken across your back” lead you to think you DON’T want to do that to your future kids? Nope, denial is the way to go.
Ah. Memories. Bad memories. My mother was like the mother where she accused her child of fooling around with the friend’s father. Yes, I was accused just like that but not with friends’ fathers, with HER husbands. My stepfathers. Yes, both of them. One of whom, I must add, was my abuser AND SHE KNEW IT! She accused me of trying to sleep with him AFTER learning he had inappropriately touched me. Still dealing with the mental issues that goes with that. Yes, parents can truly be that crazy.
My second step father was a power tripping navy vet that would fly off the handle on a dime. The summer my brother turned 16 he worked for my step dad all summer doing general construction and bought a sporty little Isuzu with a bad transmission. He spent the money to have it fixed up only for our step dad to decided we weren’t given him enough ‘respect’ and for him to take the car and my second car and sold them while we were both at work. Sadly the cars were in our mothers name still so he got away with it. By the end of the summer though my little brother managed to turn around and save enough money for the down payment for a little ford focus, but this time I co-signed the loan. When he found out about it our step father blew a gasket and kicked us both out that night. I was in my mid 20s at the time and technically living with them, but I was also a truck driver and mostly was living out of my truck. My little brother basically lived the the truck with my for a week before I could get us a mobile home to rent. Fun bit of revenge at the end though; our first step father was a military vet but died years ago. Our mother was collecting a small survivors benefit for her and my two other siblings. I found that our 2nd step father was basically just spending that money even though my brother was living with my. I reported our 2nd step dad and he got in some hot water for it and he stopped getting that money.
My abusive dad had a table rule of “don’t drop anything”. And i mean anything – not just fork or cups, not even drops of soup or a beard crumble. He said “my daughters are ladies and ladies don’t eat like pigs”. Dropping a cup was considered a horrible crime. He would yell at me and call me names for that. Since we never ate at a restourants, i didn’t realise how stiff and “phoney” the way i ate looked. Sometimes i can’t help it and the habbit gets out so people think i’m pretentions and “act a princess”. You know, like those people who act as if they dine with a queen when they are at McDonald’s. One of the things – i ate in a manner where my mouth would never need to be wipped with a napkin. I didn’t understand why people had napkins on a table. I was over 20 when i realised how weird it is because my friend asked me for a napkin and i had none because i never needed them and had no habbit of buying them or even thinking about them. I can also chew in a way that i make no sound even if i eat crunchy stuff.
Not enough of these stories end with “…and then I beat my parent senseless when I grew up”. Violence isn’t the answer except with someone who believes it is. One of my best friends was regularly threatened at gun point by his stepdad because he had a short man’s complex and couldn’t handle the fact my friend was bigger than him, even though my friend is basically a big teddy bear. When my friend was no longer under his thumb I had planned many unpleasant things for his stepdad but the waste of space finally pointed the gun at the right person and beat me to it.
One day, my brother and I were cleaning his room and I asked him where his foam football goes. He told me to figure it out myself and refused to tell me. We went back and forth for a while until his arsehole of a “father” overheard us arguing and thought I was in the wrong, so without saying anything, he came into the room and kicked me really hard into my brother’s toy box full of plastic toys. I had bruises for a week but the mental scar lasted years. I am living with my mother and I haven’t seen my brother’s father in years. my brother is living with him although my mother is fighting in court for my brother. Living with his father really took a toll on his mental health and he is being fed lies. I just hope he gets away from that psychopath soon.
My parents are quite strict and the worst punishment I have ever experienced is getting locked in the garden during a thunderstorm in the winter because my little brother was repeatedly annoying me and I shouted at him to make him stop. Because he was the favorite (and still is) I got chucked outside, and it was the middle of winter and at night, meaning the water was ice cold.
My parents were never super strict, but they expected a lot from me when it came to school work, especially my dad. When I was 13, I got a couple bad grades (not extremely bad, just below the line to pass) right before the end of term. This resulted in me getting the lowest passing grade on my half-year report card. So, in other words, it was not a bad grade, but it wasn’t very good either. My parents reacted as if I were failing my entire school career and decided that for the remaining 5 months of school that year I would have to study 4 hours every afternoon. 4 hours times 6 days a week (we had school on Saturday, too) means 24 hours of individual studying, added to 30 or so school periods, every week. That’s a lot for a middle schooler. Luckily after a couple weeks I was able to convince them to reduce the study time to 3 hours per day, but I still spent basically all my afternoons on school books.
My step dad was a horror story of a person. He would regularly abuse my older brother and I because of beef he had with our dad from when they were in high school. We would get strict curfews and then grounded for one week for every minute we were late. He took away all my shoes and made me walk to school. I spent 3 months locked in a basement because I criticized his ability to hold a job (he had the free time to make sure I didn’t get out). The cherry on top was when he broke my jaw and then made me suck his dick. I didn’t talk to anyone in my family for years because of what they allowed to happen to me.
My grandparents were teachers and logically had a lot of teacher friends, one of them, a principal, would torture their kids with math equations…they had to solve 500 math equations before opening gifts on Christmas, logically taking till the early morning hours to get it done. At the beach, they had to solve 100 to go swimming, 70 for fries and ketchup, 50 equations for a can of soda and so on…if there is ever a serial killer that uses math equations to make their victims suffer, it’ll be these kids.
My mother tried to fix my handwriting by literally forcing me to rewrite all of my homework if ill do one mistake. She doesn’t remember it (since it was for around a month when i was like 12) but i clearly remember the frustration i had when writing perfectly 2 pages of text and writing one wrong letter in the last sentence (Yes i was forced to rewrite it all) after more that 15 years by now.
That’s why I respect my parents a LOT. They had to go through a lot of tough times when they were my age. I always make sure they’re childish and living their life to the fullest without worrying about me. I don’t wanna make them worried about my future and grades because I’m keeping my grades close to PERFECT, and I know what I want to do without wasting money too much.
My cousin once was severely beaten for not wanting to go swimming. I live with my grandparents and I got screamed at for “lying to make them look bad” and “accusing them of making me live in a dirty house” when I told them that there were bed bugs (which was true and even showed them proof.) They screamed at me that I was being “silly” and I tried to confront them about their behavior, particularly about their screaming and threatening to beat me. My grandma told me I deserved to be beaten as a child. I’ve experienced, or at minimum, witnessed pretty much all forms of abuse from my family. It’s really depressing how abusive parents get away with this stuff.
I promise you, not all Southern Baptist Parents are that bad. I’m the eldest daughter of a Southern Baptist Preacher, and they are nowhere close to that strict. I’m allowed to listen to non Christian music and do other things. I am held to a slightly higher standard then even my younger siblings, but its a part of being the oldest.
These stories are just vile. I know everyone deals with trauma in their own way, and sometimes it’s best to just let things go and stop dwelling on the past so you can freely enjoy your future, but I imagine just how incredible it is for these kids once they become free and independent adults (despite the financial troubles). Imagine the absolute power high one would get as an adult, looking an abusive parent dead in the eye and saying something along the lines of “I don’t respect you, I don’t love you, and I am not yours anymore.” before cutting contact. Fantasies aside, if you were legitimately abused as a child, you don’t owe your parents anything. Not care, not love, not forgiveness, not even acknowledgement. If a toxic parent only makes you miserable, or you have to make continuous excuses to justify their choices as a grown adult, it’ll be better for you to just be free. Is it really worth it to stick around, hoping they’ll change and give you the mother/father you deserve when they just choose stay in their ways?
Story 13: the thing about the harder you push the harder they pull away, yeah, I did that on the internet because my dad was too strict. Edit: My parents were just trying too hard to protect me and pulled me by the metaphorical leash which I pulled on the harder they pulled on me, eventually being allowed to run around the metaphorical yard and going in the wrong path.
When I was in foster care recently my 3rd placement banned every single book I had. They banned my D&D books because they were Christians and they didn’t like how it had things that resembled demons and dark arts, plus some of the premade characters had tragic backstories, which they didn’t like. They banned my SCP Handbook because it included words that I wasn’t allowed to say (if you have the SCP Handbook then you know the second section includes a lot of profanity). These were the only books I had, and were even interested in reading They said they would make it up to by taking me Barns & Nobles, which they did, but for some reason any books I got from there didn’t have to be pre-approved like the ones I came with, the only limit on what books I could buy was that if it in any ways was related to my original books, I couldn’t get them. Foster care sucks.
When I was about 14 or 15 I invited my friends over and was just enjoying some girl time and offered to cook some fried chicken and I accidentally threw the chicken into the oil and some of the oil got into my face and it got burned. When my mom saw instead of trying to help the burn or do anything about it she started yelling about “how I didn’t clean the house and that I deserved the burn and that just because my friends are here doesn’t mean she wouldn’t humiliate me” then she made me go and clean the bathroom and wash dishes and yelled that “I would slap you but because your face is burnt I wouldn’t do your very lucky.” After that day I’ve been on guard with my whole family cause nobody protected me. Plus when I was 17 almost 18 my mom argued with me about paying 400 dollars rent when I was only working at Wendy’s as a part timer. A couple days after the argument I got into a bike accident and broke my leg, during that time I called my mom and got yelled at since I didn’t know where I was, then when I got to the hospital by the ambulance, they called her and told her where I was, she basically came in yelling about “how I was a terrible daughter and broke my leg on accident because I didn’t want to pay rent.” I was so tired in the hospital that I didnt even want to argue with her. During the time I was in the hospital and recovering my mom stole 2000 dollars from my bank account, and I asked her why my money was missing and she told me she need it for the insurance. Which I knew was a lie because we had free healthcare insurance since we were lower income.
I think personally one of the worst things was when me and my sister were yelled at. We would cry and often times my dad would respond by yelling at us to stop crying or grab his belt and threaten to give us a reason to cry, only sometimes going through with it. The worst part is that I can get very emotional, very quickly so I cried almost every time I got into trouble even if it was something minor. I also remember when I was in kindergarten or 1st grade me and my three sisters were all punished for something(I don’t remember what it was). We all shared a room at the time and my parents basically took all of our toys and locked us in our room for a couple days. I think we were only let out to use the bathroom or get food. That was probably the weirdest punishment I had.
As someone who grew up with Asian parents, the relationship is complex. While they did a lot to help, there’s some things they did was fucking stupid or wrong. Despite the good things, the shit they did to me and my younger brother overshadows it. He yells at me and insults me for the little mistakes, accuses me of stuff I didn’t do, hits me, uses profanity, gets mad at me for using it, pretends that he never called me degrading things or used profanity, and SLURS, brings up something off-topic, brings up the past for no reason, pretends to act as he cares, blames article games and anime for my depression, and has a fake-ass smile during pictures. He acts like every small failure is the fucking apocalypse. There were times he got mad at me for stupid fucking reasons. He got mad at me for not listening to his “advice” for shaping berets. He thinks that using pins would work, but I told him again and again that YOU HAVE TO WET IT. And he slapped me several times for disagreeing with him. He then says something like: “You’re gonna use drugs when you grow up.” when I angrily stormed out. When my mom intervened, I yelled at my dad when he was trying to lie about the story. Then he says something like: “You’re pretending to be human and you refuse to learn”. I then call him a fraud and a piece of trash wearing human skin. He then tells me to kill myself and die and tells him that I’m dead to him. And I reply with: “You’ve been dead to me from the start.” My mom has to comfort me in my room.
My dad is a pastor, and while he was strict during my childhood, he gave me quite a bit of freedom. I would say my mom is more strict, but both are loving. It’s always unfortunate to see any other Christian parents taking their beliefs to an insane level and making others look bad. Also, I hate gum, too, but mainly because of my misophonia, which is a condition that causes my ears to be extremely sensitive to certain sounds, with the chewing and popping of gum causing me the very worst pain I’ve ever felt. Even hearing it in movies and on television hurts immensely. Hearing people eat also hurts a great deal.
The bad memories are flooding back I used to have a lot of accidents when i was a little girl, because of other issues. Once when i was 6, i had an accident, and started to cry, two things that my father would refuse to let me do, he took burning hot water, and through it all over the lower have of my back/stomach down to my thigh. I ended up living with my moms friend a few months later, due to my father’s abuse…but at the time, i ended up with a 1st degree burn down there. Now i am adopted by my mothers friend, so she takes care of me great.
There is a difference between strict rules and parenting and straight up child abuse and torture. My parents are strict, but they still mean well (i hope anyway) and arent abusive. most of these parents are insane, and aren’t strict out of love, caring, or overprotection, but out of wanting to torture their child
As a child I had undiagnosed adhd and dyscalculia; something not acknowledged in the 90’s. At six I was in grade one and struggled to focus and found math impossible. I would often play with small toys at my desk, but never spoke or distracted the other students with noise or movement. The teacher informed my mother of my issues, not as a complaint but a concern. Once we were home my mother physically beat me, screamed in my face for an hour and made me throw all of the possessions in my room into garbage bags, where she then took them away. For two months I was not allowed to do anything after school, or on weekends, but sit in an empty room. This was only one of a long list of over the top abusive punishments my mother would come up with, whenever she felt I needed to be taught a lesson over things normal people would consider nothing. I was a quiet kid who just had the bad luck of being born to a horrible toxic woman, and being born with a neurological disorder.
My mom would take my phone for anything and everything. My only friends are online. Music the only thing that keeps me alive sometimes. And she took everything away. At 18 years old she realized what she had been doing and how fucking depressed I was. And finally stopped taking it. Now I snatch my phone up as soon as she enters thhe room. And when I’m upset and hide in my room I clutch my phone with me. She also yelled but felt really bad after. Thst scares the hell out of me. Tldr the littlelest thing sutch as taking a phone too often and using parental locks on everything can fuck up your kid. Be careful. I snatch it when ANYONE touches my phone. Thanks mom.