Do Kids Belong In Their Parents’ Beds?

Experts recommend that infants sleep in their parents’ room without bed-sharing until their first birthday, and if parents prefer to move the baby to another bedroom, it is best to wait until the child is at least 6 months old. Co-sleeping with children is a parent decision, not a medical decision, and can lead to anxiety, lower self-esteem, and dependency behaviors. Dr. Rebecca Fisk, a pediatrician at Lenox Hill Hospital at Northwell Health in New York City, warns that babies under 12 months should not co-sleep.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advises parents to avoid bed-sharing for a baby’s first year of life to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (Ben-Joseph, 2022). However, they offer no official sleep guidelines for children of toddler and preschool age (e.g., 1 to 6 years old).

Co-sleeping with others was often viewed as a way to increase personal security, conserve resources, and generate warmth. Separate sleeping spaces are essential for children to sleep in their own beds. While bed-sharing is generally not recommended due to poor sleep for many parents and being difficult to break once started, there is no problem with co-sleeping with older children in itself. As long as parents are not drug addicts or alcoholics, co-sleeping is fine as long as they are not on drugs, drinking, or medications that can affect sleeping/natural reactions. Some studies indicate that co-sleeping can cause lower sleep quality, leading to more nighttime waking and daytime sleepiness for both kids and parents.

At what age should a child leave the family bed?

There is no prescribed time to transition a child from a family bed to their own bed, and there is no rule that states a child must be in their own bed by age 3. The decision should be made when the child is ready, not based on arbitrary deadlines. Reasons for changing sleeping arrangements include having another baby, wanting privacy, and feeling everyone will sleep better separately. However, toddler and preschool years are tumultuous, so it’s best to wait on major milestones like toilet training, giving up the pacifier, or starting preschool. BabyCenter sleep expert Jodi Mindell advises not to make the child deal with multiple changes at a time.

Is it normal for a 14-year-old to sleep with their parents?

Co-sleeping with your teenager can help establish a consistent bedtime routine, improve sleep hygiene, and mitigate the impact of sleep disturbances like nightmares or insomnia. However, it’s important to note that co-sleeping may not be suitable for every family or individual, as personal preferences and family dynamics play a significant role. Some teenagers may actively seek independence and prefer their own space, and parents should respect their autonomy and preferences while offering a supportive environment for discussing sleeping arrangements. Open communication and respect for autonomy are crucial for a more restful night’s sleep for both the teenager and parent.

Is it OK for a 13 year old to sleep with parents?

A psychologist and paediatric sleep researcher has observed strong opinions on parents co-sleeping with their children. While safety and SIDS should be considered when co-sleeping with infants, co-sleeping with older children is not problematic. Co-sleeping is often controversial, with proponents arguing it nurtures parent-child attachment, reduces anxiety, and helps children sleep, while critics argue it stunts a child’s independence and disrupts parents’ sleep and intimacy. The commonality of co-sleeping remains a topic of debate.

Is it okay for a 14-year-old to sleep with parents?

The adolescent period is a pivotal phase in a child’s development, marked by a natural inclination to seek independent space and a gradual transition away from sharing a bed with a parent. Nevertheless, if a child displays high levels of anxiety and finds solace in the proximity of their parents, it may be permissible to place a mattress in the same room, provided that they derive comfort from the proximity of their parents.

Is it normal for a 12 year old to sleep with their mom?

The text advises parents to “wean” their daughter into falling asleep alone and explore separation issues if she cannot separate from them for sleepovers or grandparents. It is not unusual for a twelve-year-old to want to snuggle with her mother at bedtime, as it is a sign of a healthy connection. As the daughter steps into independence and separation, she needs to feel your presence holding her. Treasure your connection with her, including the physical connection. The more you meet her need for that connection, the less she will need to seek it in inappropriate places.

Kerry, the author emphasizes that connecting with your daughter, including snuggling her physically, is not guilty. A twelve-year-old is still a child, and she needs the physical contact of being held by her mother. As she grows older, she will eventually be able to center herself without your presence. However, in the meantime, she still needs your love as her center.

Is it OK to let my child sleep in my bed?

To ensure a safe sleep environment for your baby, keep pillows and adult bedding away from them, as loose bedding can cover their head and cause overheating. Remove slatted or decorated headboards, follow The Lullaby Trust’s safer sleep advice, and avoid bringing other children or pets into bed. Check that your baby cannot be trapped in the bedframe or headboard, wedged, or fall out of bed. Never leave your baby alone in an adult bed, as risks can change as your baby develops and becomes more mobile.

If you are bedsharing with your baby, consider any risks before every sleep, as your situation may change if you are unwell or have drunk alcohol. Place your baby in a separate sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket, on occasions when you are unwell or have drunk alcohol.

At what age should a child stop sleeping with their parents?

Liz Nissim-Matheis, a clinical psychologist in New Jersey, suggests that it is best to end co-sleeping when a person reaches puberty, or around 11. This is when the body changes and the anxiety can be addressed. Nissim-Matheis emphasizes the importance of promoting self-soothing and independence in children. However, she also notes that the topic of co-sleeping is a hot one, with studies often varying in their approach. She suggests that it is essential to find a balance that works for the family and the child’s needs.

Is it okay for a 15 year old to sleep with parents?

Adolescence is a critical period for adolescent relationships, and sleeping arrangements often reflect this transformation. While it is generally advised that teenagers should sleep alone, it is not always necessary. In some cases, having a teenager sleep next to their parents can be beneficial. This sleeping pattern offers comfort, a safe space for open communication, and a deeper understanding between parent and child. It also contributes to a teenager’s sense of security, as it alleviates nighttime anxiety and supports their emotional development during this critical phase.

A trusted adult, such as a parent or sibling, can provide reassurance and comfort during this challenging phase of development. In a world that can sometimes feel isolating for teenagers, the presence of a nearby parent can be comforting and safe.

Should kids sleep in their own bed?

Experts suggest that toddlers between ages 1-3 should be trained to sleep in their own crib or bed as they cannot get out. To encourage your child to sleep in their own bed, follow these tips:

1. Don’t rush the process; toddlers may have separation anxiety and don’t expect them to suddenly be comfortable in their own bed at night.

2. Encourage your child to sleep in their own crib or bed, ensuring they have a safe and restful sleep.

Is it unhealthy for a child to sleep with their parents?

Bed sharing can be dangerous for babies due to the risk of suffocation and causing spoiled or dependent children. However, after 12 months, there is no proven risk of harm and no evidence that bed-sharing produces children who are more spoiled or dependent. Parents also face potential harm from co-sleeping, as over half of children who sleep with their parents resist going to bed and wake up several times during the night. Co-sleeping children often want to stay up as late as their parents do, leading to sleep deprived parents.

Co-sleeping can be harmful to the marriage if parents disagree about the arrangement and one parent is displaced to another room. Bed-sharing is never a long-term solution to sleep problems, as the child will not learn to sleep well in the parent’s bed and eventually decide to sleep in their own bed. Most co-sleepers do not become cooperative about sleeping in their own bed until age 6-8 years.

A better plan is to sleep in the same room but not the same bed. Allow the baby to sleep in the bedroom until they don’t need a middle of the night feed, then move the crib to a separate room if possible. If you must sleep in the same room with your older infant, don’t allow him to see you during his normal awakenings. Encourage a soft toy or stuffed animal as a security object after 6 months of age.

Is it okay for a 7 year old to sleep with parents?

Co-sleeping is not recommended for children under seven, but it is considered normal in many families and cultures. The American Association of Pediatrics (AAP) advises against co-sleeping at any age, especially if the infant is younger than four months. Instead, babies should be placed in a cot or bassinet for at least six months, preferably a year, rather than sharing the same bed.

Recent studies show that many children co-sleep with their parents, with 45 percent of mothers occasionally co-sleeping with their 8 to 12-year-old children and 13 percent daily. Parents should recognize and address behaviors such as fear, low self-esteem, and dependent behaviors that hinder sleep aloneness. They should also be prepared to face opposition and use all available resources to achieve the goal of everyone sleeping in their bed every night.

Parents should follow behavioral training strategies, gradually removing parental comfort and presence at bedtime. They should also provide support and avoid stimulants like chocolates, sweet drinks, and screen time. Parents should emphasize the importance of changing their lifestyle and encouraging everyone to have their own space. Consistent sleep and wake times should be maintained, and children should be encouraged to sleep and wake up early. If the co-sleeping cycle cannot be ended, parents should seek professional treatment and psychotherapy.