Studies show that parents’ fights can significantly impact their children’s mental health, increasing the risk of depression and anxiety, lowering self-esteem, and impairing their sense of security. While it is normal for parents to argue, the impact depends on whether the conflict is healthy and productive or not. A new study suggests that responses to parental arguments begin in infancy, and by the time a baby reaches five-months, they normally respond to other parents.
Children who see their parents argue a lot are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues later in life. When parents repeatedly use hostile strategies with each other, some children can become distraught, worried, anxious, and hopeless.
Parental conflict has been linked to increased aggression, delinquency, and behavior problems in children, as well as social issues and difficulty adjusting to school. Parents and adolescents are jointly accountable for their ongoing rivalry, and certain types of conflict can be detrimental to a child’s development.
Research tells us that frequent, intense, and unresolved parental conflict is damaging for families. Healthy conflict can teach positive lessons to children, but unhealthy conflict can lead to long-term effects such as depression and anxiety. High conflict levels, including those from families with fighting parents, heighten the stress levels of children, leading to increased stress and difficulties in school adjustment.
In conclusion, parental conflict and open expression through fights and arguments can significantly impact a child’s mental health, and it is essential for parents and carers to address these issues to ensure their children’s well-being.
📹 What Parents Fighting Looks Like Through Their Child’s Eyes
Dr. Phil tells compelling stories about real people. The Dr. Phil Show is an American daytime talk show and TV series with host …
Can you get PTSD from parents yelling at you?
Yelling in a relationship can lead to various psychological effects, including depression, fear, strained communication, stress, low self-esteem, anxiety, and PTSD. The more you experience yelling, the more helpless you feel, which can result in persistent sadness and feelings of worthlessness. Fear can lead to a loss of trust and an unhealthy relationship, while strained communication can result from poor communication. Stress can result from high blood pressure, headaches, and heart issues.
Low self-esteem can result from believing your feelings and boundaries don’t matter to your partner, leading to humiliation when yelled at. Anxiety can result from increased heart rate, hyperventilation, or panic attacks due to being yelled at. PTSD symptoms can include insomnia, feeling the need to be on guard, easily startled, and self-destructive behavior.
To address these long-term effects, it is essential to seek help from mental health professionals who can help work through mental health symptoms like depression, anxiety, or PTSD. Cognitive processing therapy and other modalities can help you get to the root of these issues, or you can work through them in family or couples counseling. Taylor Counseling Group offers high-quality, affordable mental health services, providing a warm environment and highly trained counselors to help you work towards a happier, healthier future.
What is an unhealthy parent-adult-child relationship?
It is not uncommon for children to experience feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and emotional rejection from their parents. These experiences can lead to poor emotional connection and affirmation, which in turn affects their ability to form relationships and form positive connections.
How do angry parents affect children?
Parental anger can lead to emotional or verbal abuse, causing a child to feel worthless and react with negative behavior, rudeness, aggression, illness, withdrawal, or difficulty sleeping. If anger escalates into physical violence, it can cause severe injury, disability, or death. Punishing a child physically can also negatively impact them later in life, potentially resulting in a variety of negative outcomes.
What are the 6 types of unhealthy mother son relationships?
There are six distinct categories of unhealthy mother-son relationships, as follows: toxic son-mother relationships, mother-lover, absent mother, boss-and-subordinate, hide-and-seek mom, and mom-and-trophy-boy. Please indicate which of the aforementioned types of unhealthy mother-son relationships you believe most closely aligns with your experience.
What is toxic parenting?
A toxic parent creates an unhealthy environment for their child through negative behaviors such as constant criticism, manipulation, emotional neglect, or physical abuse. This results in a harmful and unhealthy environment for the child.
Is it bad if parents argue everyday?
Parental conflict can lead to various negative effects on children, including increased aggression, delinquency, eating disorders, physical issues like anorexia and bulimia, sleep problems, stomachaches, and headaches, and substance use. Studies have linked these issues to high parental discord, while high-conflict families have been found to increase the likelihood of smoking, vaping, binge drinking, and marijuana use compared to low-conflict families.
Why does my parents arguing affect me so much?
Fighting in families can lead to insecurity and disrupt the stability of the family, causing children to worry about divorce or silent treatment. High-conflict situations can also negatively impact parent-child relationships, as stressed parents may not spend enough time with their children and struggle to show warmth and affection. Overhearing frequent or intense fighting can create a stressful environment, affecting children’s physical and psychological well-being and hindering normal development.
A 2012 study examined the effect of parental conflict on children from kindergarten through seventh grade. Parents were asked about their marriage conflict and their criticalness towards each other. Seven years later, researchers followed up with families to assess the emotional and behavioral health of the kids. Kindergarteners with frequent fighting were more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and behavioral issues by the time they reached seventh grade. This highlights the long-term mental health effects of parental conflict on children.
How does parents arguing affect children?
A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that children who witnessed frequent and intense arguments between their parents were more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems later in life. The intensity and frequency of the conflict were significant predictors of children’s outcomes. The conflict blueprint, created by Dr. John Gottman, describes how children internalize their parents’ methods of resolving disputes.
If parents resort to yelling, name-calling, or aggression during arguments, children are more likely to adopt similar strategies in their own relationships, perpetuating a cycle of conflict. Additionally, academic performance can be adversely affected by parental conflict, as children exposed to frequent arguments at home are more likely to have difficulty concentrating in school and achieving academic success.
What does constant arguing do to a child?
Inter-parental conflict has been linked to a range of adverse outcomes in children and adolescents, including disruption to early brain development, sleep disturbances, and the onset of psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, depression, and conduct disorder. Furthermore, it can impair academic performance, and similar effects are observed in children exposed to less intense conflict compared to those with constructively negotiated or resolved conflicts.
What to do if your parents are constantly arguing?
When parents argue, it’s best to stay out of the situation, either indoors or outdoors. It’s not your job to arbitrate or referee the argument. Once the argument has calmed down, express your upsetness to your parents, as they may not be aware of the impact on others. If the argument becomes out of control, seek help from a trusted friend, teacher, school counselor, close relative, or healthcare provider. Professional therapists and counselors can help adults and families work through problems, helping them learn to listen and talk without losing their tempers. It takes time but can be effective.
Is it normal for families to argue all the time?
Family conflict is normal and can be healthy, but if it becomes an unhealthy pattern, it may be out of control. Three warning signs to recognize are:
- Lazy family members: Turning complaints into a character flaw can make the conflict worse. Personalizing the conflict by blaming the family’s lazyness or forgetfulness can escalate it to a higher level, making both sides less inclined to find resolution. Research from The Successful Struggle shows that making a conflict personal can make it harder for both parties to reach a resolution.
In summary, understanding and addressing family conflict can help individuals and families get back on track and find a healthier relationship.
📹 How Parents Fighting Affects Kids and Teens
If there is tension and fighting between you and your partner, this video will help you understand, in ways you may not have …
no matter how old this gets…it will remind me of my parents. im almost 27 years old, and the effects of my own parents fighting has hit me so hard to where I have trust issues, abandonment issues, attachment issues, depression and anxiety…even now my parents still act this way as I am an adult. it never gets easier.
Seeing this as a 15 year old girl and having those conditions in the household growing up even but even worse(and still continues to happen), makes me think wow look into the person that I’ve become today and it’s because of this. It’s the biggest factor that plays out and I’m sorry for that little girl. She’s gonna grow up having issues with her parents and it honestly sucks. ;/ I try not to let it affect me but yea it’s bad. I feel bad for her.
I just want my parents to know how cruelly they have mentally tortured me. I feel hollow inside of me. I feel my heart rotting away. I guess asking love in return of love was just too much. It’s all my bloody fault isn’t it? Edit after 9 months: I hope and pray for the best for everyone and yeah, things do get better. Edit 2: bro bruh I never said children are never wrong, they sure are wrong at times too but I was just talking about the harsh treatment of kids by parents. That’s it get the context.
I have recovered from this but it still hunts me to this day. For any kid going through this right now, get yourself out of that situation! Live with another relative or friend that’s is more willing to help you of your parents don’t change their own toxic ways. Also, seeking counseling when you can. I had to get it after my mom’s second divorce. I was suicidal around that time, I wished I had gotten myself out of there earlier. I’m now pregnant with my first child and I’m hoping not to make the same mistakes as my parents did.
Today i see my stepdad being abusive to my mom and i get anxiety and stress and this is the problem to my depression i just wish I never had a family because all they do is fight and argue and sometimes i just want peace in my life parents don’t see what their children see I am 15 years old and worry about my future
When a child witnesses their parents fighting, they tend to drop their self-esteem and have issues of confidence; as the child realizes, that their beloved family can become something, they wouldn’t realize that it’s their fear. Once the brain recognize that, it will start making trust issues. Though of course it depends if it was extreme.
My parents just finished yelling and cursing at eachother and my mom almost left the house Yeah….. fun times… This always happens like every other time they talk to eachother without me there and what hurts more is when I come out of my room they act like they weren’t fighting and act like they are happily married
seeing this at 14 hurts me… i’ve been through it since i was born and now they have 6 kids together now.. they physically can not live and the same house at all but they still do.. as soon as they don’t have their cigarettes or weed the household is downfall. and as soon as my mum gets on the grog (alcohol) it’s just yelling, yelling and yelling doesn’t stop at all all. can go at anytime through 2-4 am. they won’t fix their problems at all, i just want to yell at them but i can’t because i’m to afraid and slap them even. they never been severely physical with each other just verbal (only minor physical to each other when i was younger like throwing stuff..) and calling each other racial slurs while their kids are those slur they’re calling each other… :/ as well as my mum takes my younger siblings 2-3 yrs old to her ‘friends’ house all hours of the night and then they get sick (from those ‘friends’ or just cuz of the cold) but we have good times tho the house can be pretty happy… am i just overreacting? i just want it to finally stop and them to act like actual parents and sort it out properly. and i apologise for the rant/vent and how this most definitely won’t make sense 🥲
Now you guys gave the whole evidence for both sides to the whole world. There are people sick and tired of our fam and what happens when those innocent clean kids find out our dirty pass especially mine even then those imagination kids are going pick sides so we won’t be really one as a family of ours
Yall know Dr Phill is fake right I used to have a friend who sight up for Dr Phil as a joke but actually got in and the camera men said for her to make up crazy stories, me and my other friend went on the show with this girl we met on the plane and we just made up crazy lies :He isn’t even a doctor btw
My parents fight literally almost everyday and it’s so stressful. Most of the time it’s my father starting these fights and I’ve tried talking to him but he says I’m being dramatic and that I shouldn’t get involved. I grew up with them always fighting and everytime they do I always end up crying. The saddest thing is how my siblings and I want them to get a divorce because we just can’t handle this anymore. I promise myself that when i grow up i will not fight in front of my children.
I literally freeze when my parents argue, it just terrifies me to the point where my heart starts racing because I don’t know how bad it’ll get. At the same time I’d say I’m a very observant person, funnily enough my parents’ example has taught me what not to do and how I can have a successful relationship in the future. Part of me is still scared of being with someone but the other part is hopeful.
my parents literally used to fight every single day when i was little i used to pray while returning home from school wishing they aren’t fighting today. now i have problem with breathing, anxiety problem, lower self esteem, guts problem trust and anger issues i would like to blame my parents for all of these issues that i’m going through
There needs to be more articles like this. Too many individuals like myself were born into that cycle. My trauma went from childhood to young adulthood. I am a 22 year old mother who has always wanted to break this cycle. We have a toddler and 2 month old. My partner and I are always at odds around them. I am terrified because I do not know how I can help my partner understand what we are doing to our daughter’s brain, and that our son will be affected as well.. The gravity of us quarreling. I can’t explain my stress and worry.
It’s definitely made me hyper vigilant, just constantly super aware and my heart will start racing when someone raises their voice at me and i literally can’t think straight Please don’t fight in front of your kids, if you’re going to act like animals take it to another room or the garage. It really fucks a person up growing up around that
I wish my dad would have seen this and actually did something. I’m now 26 and due to the COVID-19 situation, got laid off and am living with them now. At this rate they are likely going to separate, but some of the mental scars I have will stick with me forever. But life isn’t perfect and I hope that I can be the better husband/dad in the future.
With my parents fighting every week, I had to mature fast and take care of my little siblings. They’re okay and healthy, but still traumatized from the fighting. I tell them I love them and it’s okay everyday. I’m planning to get custody over them when I’m 18, since they’re so small and I can’t leave them alone with my parents when I go to collage.
My parents used to argue a lot I’ve seen them hit each other And scream at the top of their lungs I’ve had to pull my step dad off of my mom before And resolve the conflict And make sure my younger siblings are okay I’m 15 (turning 16 this month.) They still argue from time to time But I just break down every single time Even if its something minor I just feel the same panic I did then I know for a fact, that one day, if I ever had a kid, I’m never going to argue in front of them I would never want them to feel this way
I’m 20 now, my parents have been fighting since I knew how to remember. Mostly my mom instigating fights where they shouldn’t have ended up, with my dad or my older half brother. Both never liked conflict, but wouldn’t back down. As soon as I got larger, stronger, and more aggressive, I would start ending fights with my voice. It eventually made them realize they were wrong for what they did, but still continued on. Nowadays I just get random stages and cycles of depression, anxiety, aggression, sometimes I still hear the screaming too. I can never sleep at night, takes me 3 hours to make sure nothing will happen and then I start to doze off, only to discover my sub conscience is just as malicious as my depression and anxiety, so it stirs up some really taunting and generally scary shit. I suggest to all out there who went through something like what I did, please seek help. It can really mess you up
I’m typing this with tears and hopelessness. My parents often fight and there are times when things get physical between them. I grew up thinking this very common in every home and I must get over it. But as I grew older is when I understood it’s not the same everywhere and its not right to be normalised. I’ve asked my dad several times why can’t he control his anger, and his only response everytime is he’s not himself when he’s angry and fighting is something that happens in every house and not just ours. And this has made me a very different person and I definitely have anger issues, over the time I realised this and I’m working on myself to become a better person. And although I love kids I’m beyond terrified and scared to have one myself thinking I’ll end up being like my dad to them unconsciously. I definitely wanna be the change but I do not wanna risk another life in this world. And I’m also scared to get married wondering what if my husband also ends up being like my dad. And being from an Indian family it’s not an easy deal to just get a divorce and live in peace. Parents have no idea what level of trauma fighting in home can cause to their children.
Thanks for sharing this! Hope the cycle of my parents doesn’t repeat itself when I have my own family. I pray to God that never happens. I’m 25 and still there’s always tension in the house and you don’t know who you should talk to besides your siblings. I always try to be strong and positive but we are all humen and sometimes we do break.
I’m 56. I wake up at 4:30 am many mornings, wishing I could get back to sleep. I remember my earliest childhood memory of my parents yelling “shit” at each other. That was the only bad word they ever used and only when they got really angry. I remember feeling very scared and fearing what would become of me. I don’t think I could talk yet and don’t know why I was so worried about myself rather than them. I guess I knew they could take care of themselves and I could not. They are both dead now. Their marriage only lasted 7 years although Dad lived with another woman part-time and I didn’t see or hear from him for 7 years after the divorce. I pray to God over and over for an hour or two most mornings after waking up long before the alarm, “please help me Father God, in Jesus’s name.” But I never get over it. Old frightening memories haunted me periodically through out my life but only became a daily constant after mid-life and the realization that the best of life was over. I just cannot understand why if God is real, He would have allowed an innocent baby to be born in an unstable home to unprepared parents. I blame God for putting me into this awful world with awful people. I love my mom dearly and do not blame her but wish God could have loved us enough not to have tortured us through the men of our own species. Finding out it has been going on for tens of thousands of years to women all over the planet and God had the power to create males so tiny they could crawl up into a female’s v and live in it to fertilize the eggs, just like He did for some species of insects, and never harm the females or children.
My parents are constantly fighting, I’m 16 and since I was born they have always fought in front of me and my siblings and I’m just so tired of it. I have trouble talking about how I feel to someone as I just feel like a burden. My parents use each other’s insecurities when arguing to get a reaction out of each other so I’m now afraid that if I tell someone about me and the things I’m insecure about they will use it against me. Honestly I just want everything to stop
Enough!!!! Enough! Thanks a bunch for this article, I am 45 and just came to that Aha moment of what really it felt like at age 4 and a clear insight of the whole “happy ending”. Thanks! ❤️❤️❤️ Enough as I cld barely watch to end as my emotions were being awakened by the 4yr old in me, that is in need of healing. I wasn’t ready for this article.
My parents fought yesterday. I’m 10 and I already have anxiety. It hit me today as of now im crying and shaking here trying to find comfort. 11:44am and the fact that my stepdad who I never trusted was hold my 6 month old while lying how much he takes care of us though he hasn’t been here for the past month.
As the child, what do I do when my parents are acting selfishly? I feel like they don’t love me and they don’t care about me, they haven’t sent me to school for a while and their last big fight I told them I can’t be living with either of them anymore. All they said was “where will you go?”. I’m sick of it and I’m really broken, I’m so tired of the “it’s not me” cycle they have during arguments, zero accountability and none of their arguments are resolved. What is the best choice in this situation?
Children aren’t responsible in getting in the middle everytime their parents are fighting. They’re already old enough to know on what is the right thing to do and if they don’t then they’re just plain STUPID. I’m tired of hearing people saying: “why aren’t you stopping them?” “Don’t you even care?” Like wtf? why would I? You think I haven’t tried? It happened almost every single day. It’s just plain toxicity already. All they think when they fight is themselves, they’re both selfish. Even until now nothing changes. Welp that’s just purely immature.
This is exactly what I’m trying to tell my Husband as he sees it normal and says I worship the Kids because I don’t want them around arguing yelling or disagree in front of them rather show each other love and respect in front of them kids all need to have a solid foundation and home is their safe space it shouldn’t be filled with stress and worry is mom and Dad gonna argue or fight again my kids already think it’s all me because Dad teaches them it’s me parental alienation idk what to do 😭
Sometimes I think if I died would the fighting stop? Would they stop or would they not give a shit anymore. Sometimes while their fighting I sometimes think about killing myself right then and there so I who have to listen to them, I hate it when they fight at night because I can’t just storm out of the house I just have to sit there and listen to them.
Thank you so much for this information. My parents shout and scream almost every day and occasionally smash glasses and sometimes hit each other. I think this has made me very introverted and socially awkward and my family has turned on my dad and now my dad is incredibly narcissistic. Now there’s pretty much no emotional connection between me and my dad and I often feel depressed or anxious every time i go home. I have an unhealthy way if dealing with this by comfort eating and I’ve been caught shoplifting. This family conflict is really affecting my life but thank you for helping me understand that this is not normal.
my parents fight nearly everyday and everytime they do i’m crying. i always say to myself maybe if i wasn’t here everything would be better for them i’m always thinking this is my fault. i’m sick of this. but no they don’t think about me and brothers they have done this since i was young and i just don’t know what to do anymore.
I grew up in chaos fights no love minimal love and im fucked up at the moment doing drugs drinking dont giving a fuck about anything feeling desireless i tried fought back stood up so many times but nonetheless still falling back again and again all those bad memories always coming up in my mind igoring them doesnt help pullling me out of the moment trying to be triggerless desperatly searching for solutions i feel so weak i feel like shit ive had enough of all those stupid childish fights fighting everywhere around me in me what the hell can i do about this ?
My parents fight non stop, it’s mostly my mom that starts these dramatic arguments. I use to always cry silently in a corner, but now I’m fed up with my parents annoying voices, sometimes I want to yell at them “Shut the 64ck up!” But I can’t because I would get slapped, so I just go downstairs into my room, and hug my knees while perusal toxic parenting.
I’m 50 years old . As a kid my parents would fight near everyday . My mother was a family terrorist and my father an egomaniac who cheated frequently . My mother would threaten to kill us all as she ran riot through the house . My father would hold her done until the doctor turned up to sedate her . I my mother was as totally unhinged . Two people who brought the absolute worst out in each other and couldn’t care less about what it was doing to the kids .
When I was younger like all the way until like 12 & 13, my parents would fight all the time and focused so much on that with each other and now that it’s over, my dad and stepmom are together and I don’t know how to love. And I don’t think my parents know that. Being all touchy-feely was never really a thing for me growing up. And now whenever my dad yells at me I don’t know what to do and then he gets mad at me once I don’t say anything. I just sit there and cry… this could be normal but it happens so much that I’m really hating it here. And don’t bring up that wife of his. She does the most🙄😫😔
I didn’t realize how much it affected me till I turned 16 and even then they were fighting. As a child, the fighting always was physically to the point my father said to my mother that he was going to kill her and that he wished he never married her. Honestly, both were at faults because she would pick fights but he’s the reason for them happening. Till this day, they don’t fight anymore but I used to have nightmares as a child where my father killed my mom. I would hear voices that sounded like my father yelling or parents fighting when they aren’t. I start thinking “What if my siblings are in a relationship like our parents?” and start crying. I worry about the relationships I may have in the future and making sure my kids don’t go through what I went through. No child should have to tell their parent’s they should get a divorce and I still hold a little resentment for my mom not leaving sooner. I also had resentment for my dad treating my mother the way she did when she didn’t deserve any of that.
This was the bane of my existence from being a toddler until my dad finally left when i turned 20. I credit going prematurely grey to this. 3 am I’d be woken up to ungodly screaming, banging, yelling, hurling insults. I told my friends it felt like i was in a warzone and they didnt understand. I wish more people knew how much this affects kids and im in my 30s now and i will occasionally still wake up with palpatations like I’m a child again
I’m 11, and my parents are always fighting. I think my dad has anger issues, or his always high-blood. I would see them argue about my dad being so overprotective to my mom, on what she should wear. He would always think negative, and assume she’s cheating on him. I get so mad, I just wanna hurt myself. They would mostly fight, on special occasions. Sometimes they would fight physically. Every time they fight, my dad always says that my mom has to have to pay the bills alone. Please comment down below, if you feel the same way
My parents would drink on the week ends and they would always argue while they were drunk. I’ve had to physically break up my parents from fighting before, I remember not being able to go to sleep at night because my parents would be yelling from the other side of the house. I don’t know how this has effected me now since I’m 20 but to this day I have never touched alcohol because I’ve seen how it can hurt not only the people who drink but also children
It helped me by talking about it with a listener on some therapy apps and also breathing meditation. We live in the same house but I distance myself from them. Go to the library and learn new skills, go hiking or gardening. Don’t take their shouting matches too seriously like it’s the end of the world.
I’m 14 now still young..but i have experience it many times since i was 5-6..my dad is the problem tho..my mom told me everything..when my mom was pregnant with me..my dad cheat oh her..treat her so badly..he date many girls while my mom is pregnant..and now my dad married a stranger who only want his money.. he’s ugly who want him? Even when I’m a baby they fight a lot..my dad cheating but when my mom is mad at him for cheating..he said its my mom fault.. don’t know how to take care of child.. don’t know how to cook! Like WTF my mom is the most caring person and her food is Delicious! She always cook and clean the house! My dad don’t let my mom be angry when he’s cheating..he said if my mom angry then my mom is not kind..he said my mom should accept him cheating! WTFFFF i hate my dad!! I’m muslim..its first day of eid and my dad fight with everyone in this house! I’m crying real hard thinking bout why my family is like this..i want a lovely dad..thats what i want..my dad never there for me..i want some comfort
it’s been happening for years…. one time when they were fighting..I tried to get inbetween them to stop them and I got hit by my father…after that I just stay in my room whenever they fight. it’s made me very anxious and depressed….I don’t find the things I used to love fun anymore…just very numb
My dad always fights with my stepmom and my mom has stepdad has fought for a day like really throwing stuff. And im just kinda not wanting to hurt anyone seriously,but i just cant really do anything about it. And my friends have started to pick on me ive almost beaten them up even though i really dont want to
When I was younger my mindset was me and mum against dad but now that I’m older I realized they were both at fault and it takes 2 to fight. Seriously tho I hear yelling and think hear we go again. I wish they would yell where I couldn’t hear them. Then the next day they act like they weren’t fucking screaming their guts at each other man. I’m not going to ahcw kids if I can’t raise them in a safe environment
My parents fight a lot and always have and me and my siblings (we’re all grown up: my sister is 23, I’m 21 and my brother is 19) none of us have had a relationship before and I’ve always wondered why but I’m starting to think that it has something to do with the fact that my parents have always fought a lot and that maybe that caused me to view romantic relationships as undesirable
My parents argue from time to time and it’s been happening ever since I was little. Over the years it’s gotten worse and I’ve been feeling very very anxious when they start to agrue and I start to panic and pack a few things incase I have to leave and then ill start to cry cause I’m scared. I don’t want to get into a relationship with anyone due to the fear of fighting/agrue and end up getting more hurt then I already am.
My parent are fighting for 18 years now we had a lot of good memories but they just keep fighting and the baddest part is I immigrated to canada and here i have no family rather than my parents and my brother and I can’t take this anymore i just want to escape and be free and my brother and me just want them to divorce 😔 💔 😢 😪
My grandparents fight a lot, ever since. I’m not sure if thats trauma, but I still remember one specific fight. Sorry if its unwanted but I just wanna share!😊 One night my grandparents were fighting in my grandfathers bedroom (They are actually fighting) I was 6-7 that time; I heard so much yelling, my grandma took out a belt and hit the TV. I was crying badly, (I’m at the 2nd floor, room to the further right.) I can still hear their screams. Next morning, I saw my grandfathers TV broken, and him having a wound on his face (It wasnt that big) I question what had happen. After that, I became too comfortable of them fighting, since they’ve been doing this from day 1. My Grandma lives in a seperate house now tho! 😊❤
Hi, I’m 12 and my parents just had a fight over some stupid things and unlucky me I’m right beside them with no escape and I just feel like I wanna cry but my tears won’t come out and I really hate how loud their voices are, I don’t know why but I never like loud noise they always panics me and I’m still panicking a bit and my house doesn’t feel like the nice warm and comfortable home I use to know now, there’s just some uncomfortable tension. I really wanna tell someone I know these things but when I wanna tell someone these I always can’t seem to say it, so I always end up expressing my feelings to the comment section in youtube
I’m scared to get into a relationship because I’m afraid it’ll end up like my parents’. I don’t even know if it’s trauma or not, but whenever they yell, I get nauseous and shaky. If I do end up in a relationship and have kids, I’m never arguing in front of them. I’m going into a room and shutting the door so they don’t have to see or hear it right in front of them like I did.
I cant begin to tell you how sick my parents were together. Ive ruined myself and today at 33 yo im affected too much. When i was pregnant i needed my mom most and you cant imagine what a monster she was. While i didnt have what to eat because my “husband” is a user and at the time i was pregnant he got to jail (his 3rd time, 1st with me besides him) and every little thing i had every little money or pair of shoes he wanted and didnt care i didnt have what to eat pregnant and later whith the baby. His family spit on me threw me out and told me to ask people on the street for food. While also threatening me if i dont sleep with men and give them the money theyll beat me so i lose my baby. And when my mom was the one who was suppose to help me instead she made me so close ..so close to kill myself twice while pregnant cause even then she would t stop screaming and threatening me and making me guilty for everything things that happened 10 years ago on and on. Today im a mess, but thank god i finally started walking on a great road and i have peace of mind.cant wait to just get away from this user and as for my mom the best is to keep her away.my dad died and theyll never ever be able to see the amazing harm they did to me.this is not even half of my story ..on how much ive become this mess because of them. God i do hope i get well asap!
Thank you very much for this information.. Can you please give me any advice on how to recover from the need to run for my shield(substances)? I 33 my parents never stopped shouting and screaming and even were in silience for 3 years while leavning in the same house..I try to find a way to keeo going but it is sometimes feels like no hope
We think we know what words mean. The word home has become a slang term for something else and has lost its original meaning. For many, the thought of home was not at all what it was intended to mean. Homes are not the structure of brick and mortar. Nor are they supposed to be made of fear and distrust. They are the structure of the family whose foundation and framework are supposed to be love and trust in the relationship of the parents. That is what children coming into this world are expecting to connect with because that is where they came from. When you are in a home with two adult children who are immature and not at peace with themselves, they will not be at peace with each other. They will use the weapons of words and negative emotions in selfish conflicts. The children’s whole world is a war zone where they are traumatized. Instead of naturally growing up in the process of living, their growth is stunted because their energy is not focused on living, but on surviving. They have done little to nothing to prepare for living. They have been prepared to survive. When they reach the age and body-size of adulthood, their human suit is too big for the person that is truly on the inside.
My whole life I’ve learned that when I get mad about anything that the first thing I should do is yell and scream at whoever is the closest to me and I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship or have any friends because I’ve been thought that no matter how much you love someone that it doesn’t matter what you say to them when your mad and I’ve been put in between so may fights between my parents that I can’t even keep count anymore my sister is 7 years old and she has really bad anger issues because of how much shit my parents have put her in between