Which Methods Of Parenting Should Be Avoided When Dealing With Young Children?

Authoritative parenting is a structured and nurturing approach that focuses on clearly communicated expectations, consequences, warmth, trust, empathy, and patience. This well-balanced approach can be challenging at times, but it is crucial for children who grow. Essentials for Parenting is designed for parents of 2-to 4-year-olds and addresses common parenting challenges like tantrums and whining. It aims to guide infant and toddler behavior, teach discipline, and provide guidance on developmental milestones.

To keep your growing toddler safe, encourage sitting when eating and chewing their food thoroughly to prevent choking. Identify the developmental and emotional needs of infants and toddlers, including understanding temperament. Support relationships that meet infants’ and toddlers’ needs through mutually rewarding interactions between teachers and children and peers.

At the universal level of prevention, all young children and their families need regular and adequate health care, screening, and monitoring of their child’s development. Avoiding emotional responsiveness, relying on strict authoritarian parenting, practicing favoritism among siblings, using guilt or shame as discipline, and neglecting self-care as a parent are some of the do-nots in child-rearing.

Permissive parenting often involves an overly relaxed environment with little structure and few expectations or consequences for children. The four main parenting styles used in child psychology today are permissive, authoritative, permissive, and authoritarian. Parents don’t have to commit to one style, but they should focus on creating a supportive environment for their children.

In summary, authoritative parenting is a well-balanced approach that helps children learn and grow based on clear expectations, warmth, trust, empathy, and patience.


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What are negative parenting approaches?

Negative parenting involves harmful words and emotions, repeated criticism without guidance, and a lack of respect and trust. These parenting styles can have a lasting impact on children, even into adulthood. Parenting is a challenging yet rewarding job, and parents may question their decisions and what they could have done differently. Recognizing signs of negative parenting can help parents navigate their children’s lives.

What parenting style is best for infants?

Research shows that children with authoritative parents perform well emotionally and socially, have secure attachments, and are cooperative with peers and authority figures. However, authoritarian parenting, which enforces strict rules and punishments, can lead to unrealistic expectations and a “what I say goes” mentality. This parenting style can lead to less impulsivity and internalization of emotions, as children may feel pressured to be perfect or withdraw due to the lack of opportunities for personal growth. While teaching children to follow rules can be beneficial, it is important to consider the potential consequences and emotional development of children in such situations.

Which parenting style is considered the most damaging to child outcomes?

Neglectful parenting is considered the most damaging for a child’s development due to lack of consistency, warmth, nurturing, and support. Neglectful parenting can lead to hyper-independence as an adult. Positive parenting styles, like authoritative parenting, foster independence, social competence, and confidence in children, impacting their growth, development, and intelligence. Therefore, a child’s development is influenced by their parent’s support and consistency.

What is the least effective parenting style?
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What is the least effective parenting style?

Baumrind’s research on parenting styles has been a significant contribution to the understanding of child development. Her work consistently demonstrated that authoritative parenting had the most favorable developmental outcomes, while authoritarian and permissive parenting were associated with negative outcomes. Children of neglectful parents had the poorest outcomes. An authoritative parenting style has consistently been associated with positive developmental outcomes in youth, such as psychosocial competence and academic achievement.

Permissive/indulgent parenting has been inconsistent, yielding associations with internalizing and externalizing problem behavior, but also with social skills, self-confidence, self-understanding, and active problem coping.

Baumrind’s typology was initially determined on theoretical grounds, but with time she conducted empirical validation research. Empirical studies always started with parenting styles predefined in a prototypical score profile, using cut-off scores for these predefined parenting styles. However, this confirmatory approach is not preferred to investigate parenting styles types, as it does not allow the identification of the naturally occurring typology.

To empirically identify typologies in a certain population, an exploratory clustering approach is needed. This involves assessing persons on different variables (e. g., parenting practices) and identifying patterns that naturally occur in the data. Persons with a similar score profile are classified in the same cluster, while those with distinctly different profile scores are classified into other clusters.

Researchers have started adopting such clustering methods in research into parenting styles about 15 to 20 years ago. These studies generally identified three or four parenting styles that resemble the initial theoretical parenting styles. However, two issues have largely been overlooked in the existing knowledge: the role of psychological control, which is currently considered the third parenting dimension.

Baumrind initially paid little attention to the role of psychological control because her control dimension solely referred to parental socializing practices aimed at integrating the child in the family and society.

In her later work, Baumrind did incorporate aspects of psychological control, but the confirmatory nature of that research makes it impossible to determine which parenting styles would naturally evolve when psychological control would be taken into account.

Limited research including psychological control indices has mostly identified four parenting styles that match the theoretically distinct styles. Within these parenting styles, psychological control coincided with behavioral control levels in the authoritarian parenting style, yet cumulative knowledge remains too limited to draw firm conclusions.

What is the most strict parenting style?
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What is the most strict parenting style?

Parenting styles can be challenging for parents, as they want to do what’s best for their children. Diana Baumrind identified three main parenting styles in the 1960s: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. A fourth style, neglectful, was added in the 1980s by Stanford researchers Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin. Baumrind later wrote a book on the authoritative parenting style, which she believed was the most beneficial. All four categories remain in place today.

The effects of parenting styles on children’s development and their manifestation in adulthood are still a subject of heavy discussion in the psychology community. However, there are generally agreed-upon consequences of each parenting style. This article explores the four parenting styles in more detail and discusses their potential consequences on children raised under them. The effects of each parenting style on children’s development are hard to measure, but there are generally agreed-upon consequences.

What are the parental concerns during toddler period?

Toddlers’ brains, bodies, and abilities are rapidly developing, causing challenges for parents. Common behavioral issues include tantrums, meltdowns, picky eating, trouble sleeping, and difficulty sharing. Each child’s developmental milestones are unique, but early intervention is crucial. Parents should consult their pediatrician if concerns arise, as each child is different. Resources on managing meltdowns and other tricky subjects are available. ADHD tips, new articles, and expert advice are also available.

What is the most problematic parenting style?

Neglectful parenting often leads to children with low self-esteem, difficulty in forming and maintaining relationships, and a lack of understanding of safety and security. This lack of care and engagement can result in children struggling with self-esteem and understanding of safety and security. It is crucial for parents to love their children, care for them, and provide them with the right life lessons, regardless of their feelings of guilt or unpleasantness about their parenting style.

Which parenting style is most likely to produce negative outcomes for children?

This parenting style is typified by parents who are unresponsive and unavailable, which can result in low self-esteem and self-confidence in children. In such cases, children often seek out individuals who serve as inappropriate role models to replace the neglectful parent.

What are ineffective parenting practices?
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What are ineffective parenting practices?

This study aimed to assess the mediating effects of adolescents’ self-efficacy and parental acceptance-rejection on the relationship between ineffective parenting practices and adolescents’ mental health. The research involved 761 school-going Malaysian adolescents aged 13-18, with both paternal and maternal parenting practices and acceptance-rejection measured independently. The findings suggest that ineffective parenting practices result in perceived parental rejection and lower self-efficacy, leading to poorer mental health among adolescents.

The study highlights the importance of parents being mindful of their parenting approaches, as they directly and indirectly impact the mental health of their offspring. It is estimated that 10-20% of adolescents worldwide suffer from some form of mental illness, with suicide being the fourth leading cause of death among 15-19-year-olds. In Malaysia, the state of mental health is poor, with a high prevalence of suicidal ideation, indicating poor mental health among Malaysian adolescents.

Poor mental health may have long-term consequences for adolescents, such as self-harm, violent tendencies, and suicidal ideation. Therefore, the mental health of adolescents is a critical issue that should be addressed.

What is toxic parenting style?

A toxic parent is a term that refers to a parent who consistently causes guilt, fear, or obligation in their children, shaping their life through patterns of behavior. These parents are human beings, and they may make mistakes or unintentionally harm their children. However, their focus is on their own needs, often leading to ongoing or progressive abuse or neglect. They may not apologize or admit their actions are wrong, and their impulse is to do better and make things right.

What is poor parenting style?
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What is poor parenting style?

A large Irish study reveals that hostile parenting involves frequent harsh treatment and discipline, which can be physical or psychological. The study found that about 10 children were in a high-risk band for poor mental health, with children who experienced hostile parenting being more likely to fall into this group. Additionally, they may be at higher risk of developing severe mental disorders. The researchers studied both internalizing and externalizing symptoms at ages three, five, and nine.


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Which Methods Of Parenting Should Be Avoided When Dealing With Young Children
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Rae Fairbanks Mosher

I’m a mother, teacher, and writer who has found immense joy in the journey of motherhood. Through my blog, I share my experiences, lessons, and reflections on balancing life as a parent and a professional. My passion for teaching extends beyond the classroom as I write about the challenges and blessings of raising children. Join me as I explore the beautiful chaos of motherhood and share insights that inspire and uplift.

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11 comments

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  • Parents, Guardians, Educators, anyone responsible for the care and education of our children – the debate that’s been raised here is whether it is better to look only at ‘what’ the behaviour is or to look deeper into the behaviour and ask ‘why’. As a daughter I was raised in the ‘what’ only era and there was no teaching involved, just harsh punishment, which in my case resulted in suppression of my feelings (the unacceptable ones). I was very obedient – so job done for the system – but I was also the perfect bait for predators and abusers. I got cancer 3 times in my lifetime. As a mother I applied the ‘what’ method, but with teaching (by ‘correcting’ the so-called bad behaviour. No punishment. That still didn’t prevent my son becoming addicted, in his case to alcohol and prescribed medication (the convenient companion to the ‘what’ method. My son died prematurely. So that method clearly doesn’t work (in my humble opinion). As a grandmother I apply the ‘why’ method, having learned it from books written by and talks given by Gabor Mate. It is working beautifully – especially with my grandchildren who have ADHD and/or anxiety ‘disorders’. So I’m on the ‘why’ side. Absolutely no doubt – it’s working in ‘real’ life!

  • “We have the science, we have the research — we’re just not applying it.” As a former teacher, this has by far depressed me the most. It’s all here, but society insists on the harmful ways, feeding into the cycle of trauma. A big thank you to Gabor Maté to continuously trying to give these topics more attention!

  • Understanding from the household level or perspective could be challenging. If we could find a way to have more connected communication with the children, maybe consider if the family need consultation; understand the relationship as a way of understanding the child’s needs. Could the government consider employing therapists in schools for a teamed effort with the guidance councillors?

  • It’s very challenging to have a healthy relationship with a child when we’re living in a toxic environment and surrounded by toxic people who are very low minded and worthless on almost all level. We somehow pass our unhappiness to our child unwittingly unless we watch some of these articles that really raise awareness so we can be aware and really understand our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors…..I believe that many of the personality disorders are a response to the problematic environment and toxic culture that we live in.

  • Wow very well said, 100% agree . My parents were psychologically abusive and my dad would hit me with a belt instead of doing actual parenting. I was a good kid, he was an angry person who didn’t respect either of his children’s autonomy. All while successfully coming across as normalish to people they interact with for the most part. After a lot of working on myself I’ve been able to heal through the trauma but I’m a little lost with what to do with my life at the current moment.

  • “Generations of scholars and activists have examined race, gender, class and sexuality as categories of oppression. They have not extended the same courtesy to the category of childhood, to the oppressions and sufferings of children. But the fact is you can’t reproduce any order of societal oppression based on race, gender, class or sexuality without first destroying each generation of young people as soon as they enter the world.” ~ Dr. Stacey Patton

  • I am raising a very volatile 12yr old with severe ADHD and anxiety. She goes to my sister’s several days a week and she is able to do homeschool and behave wonderfully. Every time she comes home, she is exploding with emotion and anxiety. I can’t decide if going to my sister’s is good or bad for her. I don’t know how to help her regulate on the way home. This is the only way I have figured out to school her. Nothing else works. She is developing a negative self image and I also wonder if I should keep looking for a medication that will work for her.

  • I love Gabor matè but it’s really frustrating how he only describes the issues and the causes but NEVER solutions or practical techniques to put into action so you can connect with your kids or re-attachment. He tells you what not to do (essentially all parenting techniques you know) but never the right ways to fix the issues.

  • In the old days, there was no such thing as conscious parenting.Parents took a backseat to their kid’s lives, feeding and clothing them, and hoping for best. It was easy, thus, not to take responsibility for how their kids turned out. Today, we know better. We know about epigenetic influences in expression of genes. I didn’t know any of that in the 60s. Even if i had known, i didnt have it in me to be a loving, caring parent. Its not how i was raised.

  • Gabor by admission, wasn’t there for his kids growing up. But on kids acting out he’s not very clear here what’s expected of parents. So a kid wants a toy and he’s told No, he acts out but surely that’s a manipulation on the kids part not the parent? Why should he have another toy? I’m with Supernanny on this, kids need to have clearly explained expectations, and time out, it helps them regulate their emotions and socialise them. Kids senses weakness and is the biggest manipulators of this. I still remember being spanked as I wouldn’t go to school and I remember thinking ” even schools better than this ” – I don’t believe in spanking but it was a lesson for me. I understand the bigger needs (not seeing parents enough, not getting outside play etc), but we don’t all end up in jail, because of this. In life rarely does it serves all our needs. Diet drives bad behaviour too. But this interview doesn’t really say anything specific.

  • I don’t agree with him because his focus is on the “why” (someone acts out) instead of the”what” (are they actually doing). Note that the first involves a great dose of interpretation and thus arbitrary assumptions and complex and dubious guessing. I would never bet on that even as a psychologist. Instead, behavioral shaping is focusing on the “what” someone does which is far less prone to arbitrary interpretations and assumptions. His acorn example sounded insightful but it’s not very relative to humans. Humans don’t have a 3-4 variable system of operational destiny. The variables are far more and far more complex in their inter-dynamics.

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