“In a spectrum” is a term used on Tinder to indicate a person’s sexuality or gender identity as fluid rather than fixed. It refers to the concept that human attraction and gender occupy broad, multifaceted spectra rather than binary poles. The phrase can have various meanings related to gender identity, sexual orientation, autism spectrum, and sleep patterns. On Tinder, the “in a spectrum” tag allows users to express their nontraditional identities and may signify a nontraditional gender identity, a nuanced sexuality, or being.
On the other hand, “on a spectrum” on Tinder profiles refers to a person’s sexual orientation and gender identity, not autism. In England, if someone describes themselves as “on the spectrum”, it usually means they have either diagnosed or suspected Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
The Interests feature on Tinder allows users to select their favorite pastimes and share them on their profile. To help users understand what certain Tinder bio catchphrases really mean, a handy guide has been created to help decipher the next profile they click on.
In summary, “in a spectrum” on Tinder indicates a person’s fluidity in their sexuality or gender identity, resisting definitive categorization. The phrase can also refer to a person’s sleeping habits or patterns, which can have various interpretations depending on the individual. By understanding the multifaceted meaning of the “in a spectrum” tag on Tinder, users can approach conversations with potential matches thoughtfully and express their nontraditional identities.
📹 Great Example of Hypergamy
Http://comeonmanpod.com – #hypergamy #psychology #biology #redpill #comeonmanpodcast.
What does it mean when an adult is on the spectrum?
Autism affects adults with social and communication difficulties, repetitive behaviors, sensory processing issues, and executive function issues. Common symptoms include social and communication difficulties, repetitive behaviors, and sensory processing issues. There are various tools and resources available to help diagnose and treat autism, including assessments, diagnostic checklists, and self-injurious behavior tools. Support and expert webinars are also available for newly diagnosed individuals and those seeking participation in studies.
What does it mean when someone says they are in a spectrum?
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) refers to children with some form or degree of autism, exhibiting different behavioral patterns. Classic autism is the most severe form, while milder variants include Asperger’s Syndrome and PDD-NOS. Only 20 of people on the autism spectrum have classic autism, with the majority falling somewhere on the milder range. Clinicians diagnose ASD by examining a child’s socialization, communication, and behavior.
Diagnosis is based on patterns revealed during evaluation, and specialists may include child psychologists, child psychiatrists, speech pathologists, developmental pediatricians, pediatric neurologists, auditorologists, physical therapists, and special education teachers. The majority of children on the autism spectrum fall somewhere on the milder range.
What does ❤ mean on Tinder?
The heart emoji is a common symbol on Tinder, often used to indicate flirtation or a sense of care. It can be used to express love or sympathy, such as a smile or a heart emoji. If you’re unsure about the meaning of the heart emoji, you can respond with the same heart emoji or a smile. Replying with another heart emoji, or even a few, can show that the feeling is mutual and that the person is thinking of you. In summary, the heart emoji is a common way to express love and sympathy, and it’s important to respond appropriately to show that the person is thinking of you.
What are good Tinder bios?
She has a penchant for sunsets, dog walks, and impromptu expeditions. Seeking a partner with whom to share leisurely Sunday mornings, late-night discussions, urban exploration, novel culinary experiences, and inclement weather days. An individual with a keen interest in canines.
How can you tell if you’re on the spectrum?
ASD is a condition characterized by difficulties in social communication and interaction, restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests, and different learning, movement, and attention styles. Some individuals without ASD may also exhibit some of these symptoms. Social communication and interaction skills can be challenging for those with ASD, and some individuals may exhibit unusual behaviors or interests. These characteristics distinguish ASD from conditions characterized by only social communication and interaction issues.
What does it mean when life is a spectrum?
The spectrum of life encompasses a multitude of elements, including differentiations, changes, assumptions, comprehension, conclusions, emotions, morals, ethics, acquired knowledge, and missteps. It represents the authentic self and contributes to the journey of life. It is incumbent upon the individual to imbue their journey with the hues of their life, irrespective of the ultimate destination.
How do you flirt on the spectrum?
Flirting is a common way to express interest in someone, and it can be a fun and safe way to do so. To flirt, be yourself, smile often, make eye contact, and be aware of your surroundings. Dating can lead to friendships, short-term relationships, or even long-term committed relationships. However, it’s important to remember that dating doesn’t solely have the purpose of finding your one true love. Not everyone is looking for a “soulmate” or someone to date long-term, and not everyone you go on a date with will be someone you want to continue spending time with. Instead, dating can be a fun way to get to know people, experience new things, and learn about yourself.
Is Tinder for dating or hookups?
Tinder is an online dating application that enables users to establish connections for the purpose of either casual encounters or long-term romantic relationships. The efficacy of the application is contingent upon the extent of user engagement and the specific objectives they seek to achieve.
What does lifestyle in a spectrum mean?
On Tinder, the phrase “in a spectrum” signifies that an individual may identify as bisexual, pansexual, queer, non-binary, or any other identity that deviates from traditional binary concepts of sexuality or gender. This phrase allows individuals to express their fluidity or non-conformity when it comes to sexual orientation or gender identity, helping potential matches understand their preferences more accurately. It can also serve as an invitation for open-minded and inclusive conversations.
Tinder, launched in 2012, was developed by a team of entrepreneurs and software engineers to simplify the process of meeting new people and forming connections. The phrase “in a spectrum” can help potential matches understand individuals’ preferences and identities more accurately and encourage open-minded and inclusive conversations.
What does it mean to be in a spectrum on Tinder?
The “In a spectrum” label on Tinder signifies an individual’s gender or sexuality as fluid or nonbinary, allowing them to find like-minded individuals. This label is often used by those with fluid or nonbinary gender orientations or sexualities to find open-minded individuals on the app. Additionally, some users may use the label to indicate their autism spectrum disorder, which is also known as “on a spectrum” due to the wide variety of symptoms and intensity experienced by individuals with autism.
📹 I swiped on tinder 143,489 times. Here’s what happened
Thank you so much for watching! Hope you enjoyed it! Chapters: 0:00 Intro 0:44 Let’s look into my tinder data 2:42 The main …
People always say not having arguments is a red flag, but if you communicate so effectively even during difficult conversations that nobody ever raises their voice or feels attacked, and everyone’s always listening and empathising and trying to reach common ground, why is it not escalating to an argument a problem? I’ve been with my partner for nearly three years at this point, and I wouldn’t say we’ve ever properly argued.
i’m an early 20s woman so i never had any trouble but yeesh these statistics are bleak to look at. i remember using bumble bff to make some female friends around town and i finally understood what guys meant when dating apps were miserable. people ghosting, convos that go nowhere, or people just using the app to pass time but never meeting up
Maybe it’s me but Hinge has started to go the same way as all the others. They generally seem to suggest less popular profiles and keep the more popular ones for their “standouts” page where you pay for roses to send them. All these apps are just designed to make money. Anything else is coincidental.
I tried these apps years ago and man, the toll it can take on your psyche. Being rejected 99% of the time and the sheer volume and how it “gameifies” your emotions like a mobile game with transactions. After a year or two I just burned out and quit dating at all for a while. Meeting my girlfriend and being happy now I am so glad to be in a relationship and also relieved to be away from those apps. If you’re on there and struggling, that is really normal. Best of luck to everyone.
This was very interesting, I definintly get the most interaction on hinge. Something that is definitely worth mentioning is hinge has a much bigger focus on actual relationships over hookups and casual sex so I’m sure that culture probably helps with proper connections. I used to have all the apps in a group on my phone called “self-esteem killers”
I’ve seen girls swiping before and I would say 90% of the time the guys fail to get a right swipe because their pfp is bad. Bad lighting… mirror selfie… shirtless… all of those things are automatic no unless you are already top 1% good looking, and even then you may come off as cocky and then be unattractive to some.
Strong Jesus vibes at the moment, Evan. I gave up on Tinder and Bumble recently, and instead made a conscious effort to hang out with people I didn’t know so well, who introduced me to other people. Got invited to a lot of parties (the fact that it was Christmas helped) and within a month I had three girls I was interested in who also liked me. One of them is now my girlfriend. So much better to meet people in real life in a low pressure environment and knowing that you get on, rather than the first time you meet someone being a proper date. I’ve always got more out of just saying yes to social things. Those people who seem to effortlessly get into relationships are usually the same people who have lots of friends and make an effort to hang out with them a lot. They also don’t only chat to strangers if they fancy them, they chat to everyone.
Speaking as an atheist I thank God every day I am old enough and had the dumb luck to find a partner before the advent of online dating. It just sounds soul destroying. Be hot! Be funny! No, not like that, that’s cringe! Don’t just say hi, that’s so boring! Don’t give me that line, that’s so desperate! Just hearing about it gives me anxiety, I can’t fathom what it does to your self worth to live it every day.
This is really helpful article. I have been on all 3 apps for god knows how long (I also thought the same about hinge when I first started using it!). It really feels like tinder is just a cesspit and a huge waste of time, nobody is on there for anything serious now and bumble is heading in the same direction. Hinge feels like its now the only app where people are looking for the same thing and willing to actually chat and date. Its also nice to know that the feeling of loneliness which is magnified when you get rejections on these apps is not felt by just me. This article has made me want to look into my stats. Thanks so much Evan, a really useful article for me.
Speaking as a living fossil (who very luckily found the right person 20+ years ago*), I am so very glad that I’m no longer in the dating game – it all just seems so very complicated nowadays**. So congratulations to those who have got there, and the best of luck to those that are still looking, and a general ‘hiya, hope things are going well’ to those that have no interest in any of this crap. * to be precise, 22 years, 10 months, and 7 days (bloody hell, I’ve just realised that we’re getting within spitting distance of half my entire life, how fucking cool is that?) ** this sentence illustrates how much of an old fart I am.
this was really interesting. I’d never use online dating again, I tried it for a while but it was the most soul destroying experience for me. It really just made me feel so “different,” now I’m happy single anyway and if I meet someone at some point great, if not, also great. A lot of people think I must be lying when I say that but it’s true!
Regarding the pricing; it actually changes depending on who and where you are. Tinder has a financial incentive to keep some kinds of people on the platform and others not. So they increase the price to kick people off, and lower the price to keep others on. Men are charged more, women are charged less. Ugly people are charged more, pretty people are charged less. Rich people are charged less, poor people are charged more. Each of those values compound each other, but in isolation they demonstrate the point. The incentive is to create the most desireable dating app that keeps you single and paying for as long as possible.
My man here is using a TOTALLY different Hinge than I am I think. I just tested it out man, I swiped through around 30 profiles (lost count around 19 then again at 25-ish) and I SWEAR, the pictures got uglier and larger with every swipe. By the time I got done, every profile was a woman who had to wear at least 400lbs. I’m not picky, I don’t pursue strictly skinny or fit girls, I enjoy a bit thickness, but DAMN. But it wasn’t just the appearance that got worse, it was the compatibility, each one went farther away from things I am looking for in religious and political views as well, not to mention interests in common. The way Hinge works now days is, they show you all the least attractive profiles, and everyday shuffle in about ten good looking profiles into the “Rose” section. You get one free rose per week, any others you want to send you have to pay for. So essentially, Hinge is almost no better than Tinder at this point cause you have to pay money if you want to like and communicate with people who aren’t the absolute bottom of the barrel. Gosh I hate how awful all that sounds. Like I feel like a massive douche just pointing this out, Hinge is honestly kind of disgusting for implementing this system to be honest.
Just a note on the price model. I think they actually plan the cost to be high enough that they can 1) make a profit with lower volume and 2) actually reduce/filter the amount of people that use it or buy it. Tinder Gold/Platinum wouldn’t provide any value or work for the customer if everyone was bumped to the top of the stack.
I remember meeting the girl of my dreams, she was literally perfect. Then I broke up with her because I had horrible self-esteem issues and just mentally I wasn’t invested. After a couple years of being alone, stopped drinking, vaping, and just trying to be the best I can be. I reached back out to her and she’s in a relationship. Now the thought of going on these apps, freaks me out. But I work from home and don’t really like talking to girls at the gym since it’s my place of peace. Hopefully we have a good run. Cheers on the article bro.
If we’re being honest, I agree with being salty over the “hey” women will give on Bumble. Like you see so so so many profiles on Tinder with no bio or “message me first”, which is an instant left swipe, and then when they are the ones expected to message first they just barely do. Am I crazy for thinking this? Like surely you should put in the effort you expect out of it, and whoever swipes last (swiping and seeing it is a match) should usually message first regardless
I think you’re so right about Hinge being like the only one that doesn’t withhold information of people who like you unless you give them money or coincidentally like them back like months later. The little prompts are interesting and give you something to respond to, it’s much harder to have a blank profile with 1 blurry picture like on every other app 🤣. You can’t filter without giving them money which is a shame but also in the end all you gotta do is take a minute to read the profile to see for yourself so it’s fine.
I also make a point of creating a personalized message for everyone, often including a pun. Usually they don’t reply. On those off chances that a girl does make the first move and they just say “hey” I literally reply back telling them that their message is boring. Im just so over the idea that dating apps will actually bring anything of substance that I mostly use them as a way to humor myself. I definitely am open to meeting people, but it’s such a rarity anyway that it’s more worthwhile to just send messages that I can screenshot and send to other people for laughs. If it’s meant to be, then maybe someday someone I’m messaging will actually read and reply to humorous messages and accept a date.
“Then there’s those one’s nobody actually uses, like Badoo or whatever” Lol me and a friend of mine both met our boyfriends on badoo. I agree with you on the part where you can become really self-conscious/insecure based on your experiences on dating apps. I have experienced this less because it seems that in general women have an easier time on such apps since men get to them more than the other way around. However, I do recommend to, if you want to be in a relationship because you are unhappy with yourself, try to become okay with the person you are right now first, before going on a dating app. Understand that a relationship is a complementary thing rather than something to fill a void. If you are happy with the person you are right now (doesn’t mean perfect, just being okay with yourself), you’re less likely to lower your standards to people you won’t connect with long-term.
Wow, I thought I was picky liking only 10-20% of the people who like me, 1% is incredible. I really don’t like the swipe system, they force you to choose and very labour intensive. Imagine if you went to the supermarket for some eggs and you had to look at every single item they sold and even then the box would be plain with just “eggs”and the sell by date on it. OKC was much better, you could filter a lot and see everyone ranked by how much you had in common
I’m in WA,US and I feel like it may be important to say that your location really matters a lot. In my region, most are such low quality, and then there’s the border with Canada, where they are top quality! I’ve been noticing a lot of weird anomalies on different dating apps, maybe subtle ones and less subtle, such as cmb is currently only serving me Asian women!
Found this to be a very insightful article, and can confirm, of the apps out there Hinge has gotten me the most in person dates and matches by a long shot. Tinder is a complete waste of time. I even have on my Bumble profile something along the lines of “be more creative than just saying hi” and it’s actually worked pretty well for me too 😂
This is a really interesting concept! It made me want to check my data. As a female hinge is a lot more difficult to navigate as men feel more picky. As a female and tinder and badoo are an absolute match shit show. I also think each app has different intents. Hinge feels more targeted towards a relationship and tinder is definitely more of a hook up app.
Tinder is absolutely atrocious. Other apps are normally worse though. From my experience. Most people don’t even reply, some never even open messages. Once you do start a convo, majority of people are insanely dry. Once you find someone that isn’t dry, majority of those people, from my experience will give me their snap, but then majority of those people will talk and never be willing to meet up. Honestly, it got to the point where I’d just ghost them if after 2 weeks or so, they were still unwilling to ever go on a date or meet up. Additionally, tinder for guys is atrocious. As a guy, if I set my search preference to men, I get 1k matches in a day. If it’s on women, it’s around 20 a month. It’s a terrible experience and is heavily women favored. Sometimes you’ll run into the “only here for friends” person on a dating app or the people that just want validation. The experience is terrible. Other apps, like hinge and bumble have such a small user base that you get far less matches and is quite more frustrating when, on bumble, I cant even message first, but the woman will never open the conversation. Dating apps are heavily women favored and as a guy are frustrating, annoying, money scams that make you feel like shit about yourself.
Hinge went downhill sometime during the pandemic, they seem to put the ones you may be interested in behind a paywall now(Roses). I also had terrible numbers on it of the two or so months using it before it stopped matching me with anyone of interest. 10% I messaged responded, 10% who responded went further than one message, 10% of those agreed and went on a date, one short relationship, and 0 women ever messaged me. I tried to make interesting messages asking questions, took advice on photos and prompts. I assume my area just sucks for online dating compared to other areas but it’s also hard to self examine to really see what I could do to be more approachable
how do you reckon the Hinge algorithm works? Does it ask for lots of profile info, and suggest people who align with your interests and values? OR do you think it’s based on other users’ data? Like “people who liked this person also liked these people” ??? Because I absolutely LOVE the idea that the most successful dating app of the era is essentially just the “Customers also bought” section of amazon.
Let’s assume that each swipe takes 2 seconds. Evan’s 143489 swipes would equate to just under 80 hours. If Evan had devoted the same time to approaching potential partners in person and struck up a 10 minute conversation with each, he’d have been able to contact 480 people. Over the 6 year period, that’s a “match” in real life roughly every 4-5 days. Men: delete these apps and never give them your time and money ever again.
Cool. I’ve been on these apps for 14 years. I think I’ve chatted with 4 people. I have a total of 4 matches and 11 likes, 7 of which were from fake profiles and 2 of which were accidents. Very impressive stats : ). All 4 chats were immediately ghosted with no response with 2 unlikes (the accidents). I stopped caring 5 years ago.
That was entertaining. I’m from an era when you met someone at “the disco”. As I never went to those….. actually in my day and locality what happened was,this is true,you met one of the oppo sex either at work or at “the disco”. You were aged 17,he 18 or 19 you went out together once and that was it. The whole world around you accepted you were now in THE relationship that would be your lifelong one. The USA idea of “dating” may have been in movies but that wasn’t real life. That was how it was in my locality,it was by the calendar 1970s but in reality the 1950s. We didn’t get the 1960s,the swinging bit until the 1980s,lol! If you want to get contacted by creepy men for free,just have low privacy settings on your Facebook page. I’m glad I was before the online era that right Swipe,that’s the rejection one isn’t it,must be soul destroying. Hey,ugly people need love too,even if they’re not going to get it.
In the brief time I spent looking at dating sites, I found them too appearance based. I have (mild) prosopagnosia. I don’t give a shit what they look like. Pay attention to the filters I used and stop sending people that drink, smoke, and do drugs my way. I was apparently getting very physically attractive people, but they were also people that I would under no circumstance want to ever have a conversation with. Also, stop sending messages telling me I’m pretty. I don’t care. I wrote like 5 paragraphs about myself, do something with it.
That there is someone out there for everyone is such a cliche and blue pill concept.. Who is out there for my 5’1″, balding, virgin, east Indian buddy? He’s gone through the first 40 years of his life waiting for his princess to appear, and hearing stuff like that will just stoke unecessary hopes for further future disappointment… Facts! 😉
As someone who never used a dating app before and had an idea tinder is a waste of time, this article helped confirm that, but now bumble keeps showing as ad everywhere i was surprised bumble is essentially not much better, if not as bad as tinder. I will recommend hinge to ppl tho because i’m a fan how they approach it in a genuine way rather than turning it into a gacha game to profit off of lonely souls looking for a genuine partner. I’d will keep it in mind for myself too but i don’t rly have a need for dating apps and i kinda hope i wont ever will seeing how much time and effort gets put into it.
So interesting Evan. I also spent a lot of time over many years on dating apps. People I met from tinder, garbage. People I met on Hinge, pretty cool! I’m also now in a relationship with someone I met on hinge (with bias as he actually already knew a friend of mine so I got spy time) and it’s going great! I might do this data thing myself. Also, good perspective to add: it’s scary to be a woman in online dating. You basically meet up with a man and hope he doesn’t do something awful to you. Like lots of little blind dates. I had to be very, very careful when I went out with someone and where. edit: I do not care about the “not all men” comments. Shut up and leave me alone.
I met my fiancé on Tinder, but it wasn’t before two years of swiping on Tinder to no avail. I’ll say, the means of meeting your person is less important than the people around you, and whether you’re ready for something serious. I swiped on my fiancé not because he was my typical “type,” but because his bio was funny, and frankly I was ready for someone who could make me laugh.
Did anyone else got that problem with Hinge that they can’t limit matches by distance? I got the distance zipper but literally can’t reduce it below 96 miles which for me is massive especially that it includes all of the London dating scene which is majority of the people shown to me but it’s way too far for me. I tried writing to Hinge support where I did receive some message about how odd it is and that they will look into it but nothing ever happened with it and it made me give up on the app.
After a recent dabble on tinder I started to think I was too undesirable to date anyone. Recently ran into a really sweet girl I half knew from years ago & asked if she fancied a catchup. Been on a few amazing dates now but due to my time on tinder Im still having a tough time accepting that someone like her could be interested in me. Even after beautifully waking up together after a perfect night & making plans for the next date, I still wonder how and why. Just going to try not to overthink & keep enjoying while it lasts. Nervously really excited for next time.
As a guy who’s a bit socially awkward and nervous as hell to talk to women this is all I really do when I’m not doing fuck else I’ve gotten in total 3 numbers that didn’t lead absolutely anywhere. ( don’t know why I thought they would) I also feel like if you’re not the top 1% of attractive guys not many girls are gonna swipe on you. Also you tend to get blocked alot more for simply not being attractive it’s the most pretentious shit ever. Also being someone who doesn’t have his license yet and is a shit driver that makes things alot more difficult
I met my husband on E-harmony and I liked the app way more than others because you could really filter your matches. This just automatically boosted the quality of my matches. I noted a big difference in the men I was seeing and talking with. The quantity of people you get shown is a lot less which I appreciated because it prevents the mindless commodification of the humans you are seeing. It helped me stay a little more grounded.
I was never on board with online dating to begin with(my dad met my stepmom that way and she completely hates me), but I gave it a try and liked hinge the best except for one issue. I live in Oklahoma, and everyone here is pregnant, always high or incredibly boring. To get an idea of how boring, the other week I listened to a co worker tell the story of the time he went to a bar he didn’t like where he had a drink he didn’t like, and….that was it. That was literally the whole story. So many people are boring that almost all the profiles I saw on hinge had these incredibly beautiful women but had bios that were practically copy and paste and nothing stood out and I spent so much time swiping left. A lot of them tried to substitute weed as having a personality, but when they’re high, they’re just….normal. Not crazy, not fun, not very imaginative, nothing. They say a lot of very simple things, and you’d actually have no clue if they were high or just a plain person. Everyone is also a giant sports fan. Nothing wrong with that at all, but I’m a nerd and can’t really connect with anyone because of it because who likes nerds? I do get a few matches, but I’m always ghosted either at the start or midway through a conversation even if things seem to be going well and I just don’t get it. I actually think I might just be too picky and it’s my fault for what I look for in women. Probably just gonna give up
As a woman, I found bumble to usually go no where past a quick conversation, and I think I had about two first dates. Meanwhile not sure if it was just because I lived in more rural areas so people used tinder a little more seriously? But I’ve had a majority of my past partners from tinder, including my partner I’ve been dating for a little under a year! Had some really nice conversations on Hinge tbf so can see why it’d be good for finding like minded people!
I went to a friends wedding a few years ago, and my gf at the time wanted to dance. I dont dance, so i said ” just go and ask any guy on the dace floor ( everyone at the wedding worked for the same company, so we pretty much knew everyone there ) 2 minutes later, she came bcak, and with a very suprised look on her face said ” i asked a guy, and he said no ! ” she couldnt understand why anyone would say no. so i said ” welcome to our world, 9 out of 10 girls we ask say no ” and that was pre mobile phones …… some things never change 🙂
I’ve found that online dating gives me so much anxiety, but like the ability to date the “old fashioned way” (i.e. literally all I mean is just not online) seems officially something of the past. I will say this article has definitely convinced me to delete my Tinder for the final time and maybe try out Bumble and Hinge. That said idk how their UI around like forcing nonbinary users to be seen under men or women is, lets just hope its better than Tinder or I’m going to cry, I don’t want to be misgendered anymore y’know.
Great article Evan. As a guy in his 50’s all the dating sites I have tried just want to constantly drain my wallet and my confidence. Tinder is the worst one so far by some margin in my experience, I love a Cadbury’s Boost as a rare tasty treat but Tinder keeps trying to sell me a Boost every time I log on! I am voting with my feet and walking away from Tinder. I will give Hinge a go and hope the stats start working for me.
The older I get the more I understand how lucky I was that women took no interest in me during my tinder years. I don’t see any man actually having his life improved by a woman. It’s mostly more stress and pain and all of that just for occassional sex? Eh, not worth it. I’m glad you found someone you don’t have to argue with – people are stupid to say that that’s a normal part of a relationship. It’s not. Fingers crossed this won’t change once kids are there and you’re trapped. Be careful.
Really interesting article. I have to look into getting the data from tinder as well even though I don’t use the app anymore. How do they know that you went in a date or even started a relationship? Sounds a bit fishy to me because most of the time you switch to a different messed her after the first date or so…
Interesting article man. 👍 I’ll offer some insight on a few things : 1) Matches are like numbers. Short term ego boost but meaningless unless it results in getting together. Most leads don’t go anywhere. 2) Good point about attn seekers. They say that 50-60% of women on apps in 2022 are using them just for validation with no intention of ever meeting. 3) We’re in a flake epidemic in 2022 largely because women get so much attention. Their interest changes hour to hour and day to day. ***I’ve had women voice text me after our call where plans were made saying how excited they are to meet. Then only 1-2 days later, I’ll get canceled an hour before the meet w/no reschedule offer.
I deleted my tinder bumble and hinge accounts about 4-6 months ago and I’m glad. I hadn’t used them in a year or 2. But, i started using other apps, more social/ chat room type of apps. At first it was fun and helped me get comfortable with my sexuality, but now I’m trying to get off them cuz I don’t get anything positive from them. They take all my attention and I swipe or message ppl until i get s response. Its hard cuz those apps are good and making feel good in the moment but not in the long run imo
It was interesting to see dating apps from a man’s pov. As an acepan nonbinary person it’s very… difficult and strange on dating apps. For example having to select if I want people who want men or women to see me. Because technically neither and both. Especially in a country where only tinder is really used (hinge isn’t even available 😅). I wonder if I should request my own data cause I love seeing data about everything.
I found my partner on a dating app, but its interesting that they were slightly outside my criteria on one criterion, so glad I decided to flex on that one. Pretty hard as a lesbian as most “matches`’ are to guys who either think lesbian is a porn category or men who think they ” are” lesbians (you really aren’t, dude 🤢).
I sometimes wonder whether Tinder uses its algorithms to show women mostly men that are not their type, and then sprinkle one person that might interest them in every 10th swipe or so. I know that I’ve spent a huge amount of time swiping left on men I’m not attracted to and Tinder never seemed to learn from who I like and show me more of them. It might explain the numbers at 5:55. And also why men are so unsuccessful on the app. Good for Tinder if men grow more desperate and thus willing to pay more money.
I’m in my fifties and have been married 25 years. I know nothing of these apps but I saw a notification on my sons phone and he is on one of them. I’m here to just learn about these apps because when I was in high school and college in the dating scene no one used dating apps. I don’t blame anyone for using these but to me it seems better to just go organic and meet people out in the real world. Pray about it and let God set you up with someone. I know that’s old fashion but I guess that’s my age showing.
For the record boys; Of his 147 000 swipes He swiped left 76% of the time. In other words 76% of the female contingent on tinder were deemed undatable. Ouch! Of his 30 000 right swipes he managed to secure 1000 matches. That’s about 3% His 1000 matches landed him 12 dates. Which leaves the big guy with a 1.2% conversion rate. Truly harrowing statistics there, kudos to this man for putting this out for all of us to see.
Actually, Tinder tries to hook you in for the long run by offering steep discounts if you by a subscription for a longer time period on a one go. For example, Tinder Gold for 12 months, paid in advance, is only slightly under 9 euros per month. That is not so bad, despite being a cheap money grab on desperate people, obviously. Also, you can apparently buy boosts and super likes in bulk for reduced prices. It’s a slimy business… But hey, you could instead just buy beer and weed!
i used those 3 apps as well. i found tinder was annoyingly random and also it was really hard getting matches as a man not willing to waste money on a dating app. at the absolute peak i had about 40 people who had liked me within the last few days, whereas ive had multiple female friends get well over 100. with bumble, i didnt mind the gimmick of women sending the first message, except until none of my matches sent me anything. i never had a single conversation on bumble and i cant think of any reasons other than i may just have not been that appealing or theres still a bit of an ingrained fear of the girl making the first move. hinge is where its at tho. its the most personal, the most complete even with the free version and its where i met my girlfriend of 7 months. i think there was a good chance we may not have matched if it had been on any other app because the conversation started specifically surrounding one of the “get to know me” type prompts on her profile.
Have been using it for a year and a half… and feel like shit. Not much because of the app mind you. But because I have had plenty of times, where I get a match, I start chatting, we get along great. She seems to have the same interests as me, she seems to like my jokes and she is able to play along to them. We get on a date or two and everything seems great. I get excited because I think she is the one. After the date we keep talking and it is all great…She makes it clear she enjoys my company, which only gets my hopes so high…. suddenly out of nowhere, she stops responding and won’t ever respond back. Feeling like you have found the one, to suddenly realizing it is gone. Not only that, you got along so great that you were fine with even having a platonic relationship. But suddenly, no… it is all gone and you do not even know why. You retrace your steps to realize where it all gone wrong, but can’t tell why. Before the pandemic, I have been dating in person and never ever was it this hard or did it felt this heartless. That has happened to me like ten times in a year and a half I have been using them. Don’t worry I am not mad at women, I have always got along with them really well outside of the app. And am pretty sure that there are men like that as well. I know really well that women in real life are not like that… I think this happens because the whole dating app thing dehumanizes people, and they do not even realize how much damage they are doing. It makes them see dating as a market, instead of actual people behind each user.
Even as someone looking slight above average i wouldn’t touch tinder it’s a self esteem destroyer it’s a app made for the average woman to get laid not for the average men. I have better results meeting women in person in the gym for example. i don’t always go out of my confort zone to talk to one but when i do i get lucky 😉
As a single 29m that just moved to London. I’ve had the best success with bumble. I get matches on both Hinge and Bumble but the conversations seem to get somewhere on bumble. I’ve been here just over a month and I’m already done with apps. So much effort to just be ghosted. I now just chat to as many as possible. Definitely a numbers game 😉
I’m a tall good-looking dude, and i love Tinder. I don’t even pay a penny, and still get a lot a matches. I hookup a lot but i don’t feel like it effects my life in a bad way. I have a good life, good job, hobbies, sometimes i play in a Rolling Stones tribute band with friends. I’m sorry for people that struggle for a little bit of sex. Damn!!
Damn Evan this is interesting but as a straight woman who’s been using these apps on and off probably for also about 6 years now it would be interesting to compare stats but also I think I’d be a bit horrified to find out mine 🤣. I haven’t used tinder that much I resisted it for so long but since it’s the most popular one probably I ended up trying. Think my stats would be hey you matched with these people the you spoke to them and no one replied 🤣. But hey it is what it is. Genuinely thanks for normalising this shit a bit including casually not always replying or keeping up conversations. On paper a lot of this stuff makes me sound like a b*tch but i dunno you just gotta follow your gut sometimes. It’s not failed me yet 🤣. My plenty of fish stats (where you don’t have to match to send a message to someone) would be like “look at all these opening messages you didn’t reply to you’re so rude” and I’d be like lemme tell you what they actually said then tell me you would have engaged with it 😩…..straight men if you’re out there….don’t be creepy and gross okay. A lot of you aren’t, but enough of you are.
Was on both Tinder and Bumble for roughly 8 months, threw money at it and did everything I was supposed to do for it to work. Not a single damn match in that whole time, all that money, all that effort and perseverance, for nothing. Absolutely and utterly crushed my soul and self esteem. Yet my brother downloads Bumble and he’s already talking to 3 people within half and hour. What a bloody gyp.
I met my ex on Tinder, and after 3 years we broke it off. Since then I have been on Tinder for the past two years, put up my best pictures and updated them, made sure my bio was very nice and didn’t come across as sleazy or just looking for a hookup or whatever. Yet, I don’t get any matches hardly, and when I do, they either don’t respond, unmatch with me, give me one word replies that totally shut down the conversation, or it’s actually a fake snap chat account trying to sell nudes that I’m not interested in. I’ve been trying the other apps as well, and no luck….guess I’m just here to mindlessly vent I guess, sorry.
i’m using tinder for 3 years. zero date, maybe 5 chats. there were a period were i get tons of one night stand requests, and i figured and girls only come to be easy going and started to be very sexually explicity. get lot of success but didn’t last and get banned. then i get a new phone, new sim, new profile, new google account, new credit card… don’t think i was shadow banned, but just wasn’t sexually explicit anymore and my profile wasn’t as attractive for that reason, then your profile isn’t shown anymore to other member, and, no matter if you’re shadow ban or ugly for algorythm, you don’t get any match anymore. ever. probably spend 5000+ over the lasts 18 months.
I’ve only used it for about one month and I’m am female. So it might be different… but there are so many males that have zero text or want me to date their car??? And the pictures sometimes the quality are worse than they where in 1850. But I chatted with some nice guys so far. I’m curious how it’ll work out… and I’m definitely requesting the data in the future xD
I think guys can get better results with the right kind of pictures, just most people take dumb pics (especially men) and it makes it harder for guys. Or the camera quality sucks and women see that as lesser. Guys have to make themselves look interesting and mysterious through their pics and bio. Not just some normal dude cuz they won’t choose that when they get to pick any guy
Your take on Tinder gold is not really accurate. Most men are not getting matches because they’re making common profile mistakes that make women swipe left. Few men see a significant change in matches after buying gold because they’re paying to put a low quality product in front of more women to reject. Optimizing your profile is then only real way to increase matches in a significant way.
I did the gold and I got all kinds of girls hitting me up. I feel like the bio is where you find success! I just straight up made a list of a bunch of stuff that I liked and one sentence at the end and for some reason it works. I feel like if you only put like five things that you like then the chances are low that somebody will like most of them. But if you put like 20 things,your chances are higher that someone will like enough to want to engage with you. In a little over a month I had two successes with sending super likes and like 12 super likes sent to me. Right now I’ve been vibing hard with somebody and just started talking to someone else. Most of the likes were duds but that’s to be expected.
I became single during the lockdown and turned to dating apps for the first time and it was an interesting time… I found people to be very serious and come on strong really fast, which was very off-putting to me who needs to really get to know someone before deciding if I really like them. I think dating apps can be helpful, just weren’t for me.
Great article! I clicked on this article just because I thought it’d be interesting to see if my assumptions about these apps lined up with the facts you presented (yes, they lined up pretty well), but I stayed for the funny commentary and your interesting insight from using these apps for a much longer time than I did (my mental health just couldn’t keep up with them).
Evan swiped 143’000 times and got 16 matches! This is the reason why most guys should approach and make conversations in real life instead of using apps like Tinder! If you an extremely good looking guy and even a decent looking woman, you will get 100s of matches. If you are a woman in her 20s and look like an instagram influencer then you will get thousands of matches!. The algorithm is catering to the fact that the women are far choosier and only swipe right on about 5% of male profiles whereas men swipe rigjt on about 50% of female profiles despite there being 3 times as many men on this app.
Pretty much my experience. Started using dating apps again at the beginning of last year after a break up and for the most part it went exactly the same as you. Tinder was filled with bots or just girls trying to raise their Instagram followers count. Bumble was ok, it was also full of Instagram girls but I also matched with some cool girls and even hooked up with a few of them. But hinge was the best because, as you mentioned, the algorithm works like magic. Funny enough I also decided to try out Facebook dating after a few months of online dating and at first I wasn’t really taking it serious but it turned out to be where I met my current girlfriend. We’ve been together for almost a year now.
HOnestly, the passport was cool during quarantine when you got the itch to travel. I wasn’t even trying to find a romantic relationship, I just wanted to meet people while stuck in the house and it worked! ALso gave me travel destinations to meet them again irl. Found good friends acc. The demographic on the app skewed during quarantine, it may be really different now lol.
Problem with dating apps is you need to really good looking (women can get away with being average as there is an endless supply of desperate men) You end up having a platform where all the good looking people are getting the majority of the likes. As he pointed out in the article money spent on dating apps would be better off spending on buying women drinks . If your not a model its not really worth spending your time bothering with.
I wish there’s hinge app in my country. Anyway, sick and tired of dating app. Even as a woman i got many matches but 80% just boring men. Their bios are empty, and a dry texter. Suddenly ask to meet up or hook up. Wtf. They think I’m a prostitute or what. Not many people wanted a genuine connection or relationship nowadays. It’s sad.
does anyone know if the people who don’t buy tinder gold and such get pushed behind everyone who is using gold? like say 100 people in your area is boosting at the same time, they all get seen before you do and you get shown to very few in that 30 min boost time? i wonder if enough people with money are always boosting if it means the free users get barely nothing?
Dude, I did not know until I checked these articles. And I know feel good about myself I have lost the count of my tinder dates and casual sexes and relationships. I guess I am one those top guys. Considering being Muslim and living the west, it astonishing result. If my name was Josh or Robert or something perhaps I could even double my performance 😀 😀
I’ve never received a message first on any of these apps, tbh. Tinder is a ghost town: people match, but usually don’t send even one message…though you may get a single reply before she goes silent if you have a really banger opening line. Hinge, they’ll always at least reply to your introduction if they match, and you can often get something resembling a conversation before being ghosted. Bumble…Every match times out. All of the 10 over 4 years of use did. Wonderful, beautiful app. Women make the first move! Best joke I ever heard
I was a Tinder user in 2015. Swiped maybe two dozen times, had about 6 matches. Middle of nowhere place. My profile picture was my cat. Met my partner on Tinder, been together ever since. We also realized that we would’ve possibly met each other anyways, maybe a few months later. As I said: middle of nowhere small towns. P.S: our entire conversations consisted about animals and cute memes with animals, Harry Potter and drinking. Then we met up in a Japanese restaurant and IRL found out we were both weebs, too. Good match. Recommend. P.P.S: I remember about my fifth sentence to him, when first meeting, was a warning that I am carrying a pocket knife and if he tries anything funny I’ll use it. Just getting to the point. Time is precious.
Interesting statistics made independently. And unfortunately so few dates, only 12. Yes, he was too selective, but congratulations on finding a relationship. This is the purpose of such dating apps. Everyone sets their goals when they sign up for Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge. It often happens that I am just for fun, but it turns into a serious relationship and marriage. Therefore, do not lose heart, but give online dating a try.
Tinder is full of predatory women who are only looking to get money via premium snap, OF subscriptions, or beig just given. That is on top of matches that don’t ever reply or where just wanting attention. Bumble received no likes from people less 60 miles. Not worth having. Hinge would keep showing people I’m not interested in and I might like one in ten because I didn’t pay. Had better interactions but at the end of the day they weren’t actually interested. Eharmony and Match where rubbish as well. Then POF was only bots. To sum them all up, they only want your money and don’t actually care about your experience.
Is this relatable to you fellas?Tinder is showing me the same profiles again and again like a infinite loop even if I swipe right on them. Each time after I close and reopen the App, I see the same profiles popping up again what I swiped right by wasting my valuable time earlier. And I ain’t ever getting any matches. The same loop thing is happening in the web browser as well. I never violated anything on Tinder. I don’t know why I am seeing the same profiles again, what I swiped right when last time I opened my App or browser. I got only 1 match after being over 2 Years on Tinder
6 years and only 1 relationship… Not hating or anything, just pointing out how useless online dating ESPECIALLY Tinder is ;D. In this 6 years period you can do so much instead of wasting time on swiping and texting, where you can learn a language, learn to code, get a great programming job, build muscles and probably reach nirvana.
Great article but all these apps are getting worse, not serving their purpose at all. It’s like they all work together to keep us single. Demanding monthly payments for a service that gives little to zero results. “It’s all about having cool pictures” is a joke. Dating apps need an overhaul, or a competitor to acknowledge this problem and fix it! Make dating fun again
Idk im an 18 yo guy and ive used this app for like almost 3 weeks and tbh i was pretty succesful. id say im very picky and i actually only ran out of likes only once(when i just downloaded the app). at least 70% of the people i swipe right end up in matches (im not even kidding) and right now im standing at 110 matches. Im not planning on meeting anyone, and most of the convos i ghost them bc i lost interest. but i got like 5 or 6 girls on ig that i got from tinder that are down to meet, and 1 that i think it has potential for a relatioship. The only real benefit i got from the app is confidence, ive always struggled to see myself as an attractive person, but sheesh i got what i needed and more. Like literally i got to the 99+ likes mark in less than 30 hours of making my acc and i got told i appeared on their top picks. Also my profile is ass compared to all these tinder gurus say on tiktok and yt, i literally put my height and eye color in my bio, and 4 average mirror selfies(with clothes on, im literally not showing anything) and a picture of my cat trust me when i say this at least 1 photo of your lil dude, its a guaranteed 10% boost on right swipes, and a great convo starter.
Tinder algorithm is completely rigged in making you spending money, that’s the worst part. If you don’t spend money, you don’t get almost any matches if your an average guy, it’s simple as that. I reinstalled tinder last month and I got like 20 likes on the first couple days, but I didn’t pay tinder gold, I could see how many girls swiped right on me, but it was locked. So I spent like, 2 weeks swiping to my daily limit, and I never got across those 20 girls that swiped me right, the system never put them in my feed. Then I deleted my account, and made a new one. No likes for like a week, then I bought a boost and used on peak time, suddeny I got a lot of likes… it’s just filthy how tinder works, if you don’t pay, you get no visibility, it’s like you almost don’t show up on peoples feed. And the prices… are really extortiating, I remember years back, tinder gold was just a fraction of the price it is now… even a boost is like 10 times more expensive than it was long ago.
I feel like I’m going crazy about this but I need someone to help me work firm or something because it feels like all dating apps are against me because they don’t show me anybody within A close area usually it shows me 2 to 3 Hour Drive like if I was gonna ever be good enough for a hook up I’m not gonna drive 2 to 3 hours and if I was gonna go on a date I’m not gonna drive 2 to 3 hours to have a girl never text me again but that’s if I was able to drive I can’t drive because I don’t have the confidence to Drive but I also want to meet people and get to know people maybe date them or maybe have friends but it’s impossible through any dating apps are free to ask because they show you far far away like is there nobody in my age range or am I not good enough anymore has the Almighty dating apps decided I don’t deserve to meet peopleI just feel like I’m going crazy because for years dating apps has been showing me way too far away and I don’t want anyone saying snarky comment saying did you just the filter by distance and yes I’m not a freaking moron I looked up Google searches I tried figuring it out I’ve given enough I come back I just can’t figure out why they will not show me any local matches or somebody I could meet within an hour I just feel like I’m going crazy because for years dating apps has been showing me way too far away and I don’t want anyone saying snarky comment saying did you just the filter by distance and yes I’m not a freaking moron I looked up Google searches I tried figuring it out I’ve given enough I come back I just can’t figure out why they will not show me any local matches or somebody I could meet within an hour Or even The most unlikely meet someone in my own town where I could go out on a date without needing to drive anywhere because it seems like dating apps want you to drive long distances from experience 2 to 3 hour drives aren’t cheap and that’s just one way you have to drive back and drive to your restaurant or wherever taking them out if you’re going on a dateThey want you to drive on average 4 to 6 hours just for a fling and then people fall for it or am I just going crazy and they’re out to get me and preventing me from meeting someone that I could meet quickly or soon or whatever because I feel like I’m going crazy and I don’t know how else to meet people other than online because you’re going to public places and nobody’s around and girls don’t want to talk to you in public in the rare times I have the confidence that shoot my shot they have a boyfriend There’s gotta be a mutual time where people are actually looking for each other like the blind it’s exist to speed dating exist I don’t know because my only understanding of finding someone even as a friend is through dating apps because our culture has changed so much but it’s not possible to meet somebody and sustain any kind of relationship friendship or romantic if they live two or three hours away it can’t be done especially in the beginning because long distance in the beginning does not work and some people by some miracle make it work but my experience it doesn’t work but I can’t meet people anywhere else
My experience of Bumble app is negative, but I live in hope. Only had one date so far with a man who was clearly not interested in getting to know me yet he was listed as a good match in Bumble. Even now I can not figure out why. I am not sure if the matches are an AI mistake or people who are just making it up as they go along. I am a woman of colour and middle aged, age appropriate to me is 40 to about 55. Almost all of the age appropriate middle-aged men, are openly looking for a 30 year old. Way too many of the men are not attractive with the hygiene/teeth, live in other distant countries, short in height under 5 foot 8 inches, look like a weather-beaten and wrinkle-ravaged Father Christmases, looking for something casual while lying about wanting a relationship, smoker (ashtray breath), fudging photos and age, or saying something that flags red in the profile app message statement. You have to pay to see the people who find you attractive, so you have to swipe left consistently. The worst thing that happens is GHOSTING; so rude, lazy, and cowardly. Most of the good looking men don’t make an effort to woo The AI algorithm could maybe guess who I like in a million years; doesn’t know how to filter timewasters, and just wants older women (over 40) to waste money. Anyway ladies, Bumble is way better than Tinder, so good luck.
I can’t be bothered to ask for my Tinder data, but I imagine the total number of profile views for me is in the few thousands, and my “likes” (I never swipe – I use the buttons, so I don’t even know what left and right mean in Tinder swiping contexts) is probably around a hundred total. I have very strict rules. Any image with a pet – instant dislike (I like animals, just not inside a home). Any profile without a text longer than a sentence or two – instant dislike (I want to meet a person, not a face). Anyone who expresses a strong desire to travel – instant dislike (I hate traveling and have a fear of flying on top of that!). And sadly, I also click away the ones who have kids – I love kids and would love to have kids myself, but I don’t want the inevitable coordination and drama that comes with the other parent being a bi-weekly part of our lives. IIRC, I’ve had maybe half a dozen matches, and only one that progressed to an actual date (we both concluded quickly that we weren’t a good match). And yes, I’m still single.