In Germany, parenting is deeply rooted in self-reliance and personal responsibility. From an early age, children are encouraged to take initiative, make decisions, and learn from their choices. The German parenting style focuses on making kids independent, including financial independence when they grow up. Contrary to stereotypes, most German parents are the opposite of strict, placing a high value on independence and responsibility.
German parents have a structured approach, with legal obligations to supervise their children (“Aufsichtspflicht”), which includes protecting them. They treat their children like adults and speak to them as such, setting healthy boundaries and treating them with trust and respect. However, they expect the same from their children.
German parents tend to be more open-minded and flexible, starting in the 1970s when the government started promoting a new approach to raising children. They encourage independence and confidence in their kids by encouraging them to bike to school and living together with their biological parents. This approach is influenced by the German way of thinking on allowing children to do dangerous things, as children know and understand that they are pushing the limit.
German people tend to be comparatively quiet, so their children inherit and are taught similar mannerisms and etiquette. This has led to a need for legal reforms that must respond to changing cultural values and expectations. Overall, German parenting is characterized by a focus on independence, responsibility, open communication, and outdoor activities.
📹 How does German parenting differ from the U.S.?
German children are given much more freedom than kids in the U.S., but they’re also expected to be more self-reliant. These are …
How is parenting in Germany?
German parenting emphasizes allowing children to play independently and not interrupting them when they are already in the middle of play. This approach is beneficial for relationships and allows babies to explore without interference. While some parents may feel the urge to intervene in their children’s play, this can sometimes destroy the magic. Observing their children’s play during a German parenting month showed that leaving them alone allowed them to stay more enveloped in their play and provided them with space to breathe.
Even in cold weather, German children can go outside, as seen in winter and preschool. However, when the weather is less than pleasant, the desire to stay indoors is strong. Despite being wary of German parenting in December, some parents realized that they didn’t have to spend every moment outside with their children, especially in their own backyard. Their son was eager to go outside in the snow, and since the mother didn’t feel compelled to involve herself in every moment of his playtime, they both won.
What is the typical family structure in Germany?
In Germany, a typical family consists of two parents and one or two children, with the mother working part-time. Grandparents or other family members may live in different cities, and professional mobility has led to the core family being the most common group to share a home. Most families are married, but there are also single parents, parents living with a partner, or blended families. In Germany, there are around 1.
5 births for every woman of childbearing age between 15 and 49, and many children grow up without siblings. Young people often wait to plan a family in Germany, as they want to establish themselves professionally and financially first.
What parenting style is most common in Germany?
German parents, contrary to stereotypes, value independence and responsibility. They trust their children and don’t push for academics in their kindergartens or “kitas”. Teachers discourage teaching children to read, as it’s seen as a special learning experience. Even in first grade, academics aren’t pushed very hard, with a half-day of instruction interrupted by two outdoor recesses. However, this relaxed approach doesn’t mean a poor education.
A 2012 assessment by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development showed that German 15-year-olds perform well above the international average in reading, math, and science, while their more pressured American counterparts lag behind. Berlin doesn’t need a “free range parenting” movement, as free range is the norm.
Is Germany good for raising children?
Germany is a safe country for children, with cities designed to promote independence and responsibility. Many children learn to use public transportation alone at a young age, building confidence and encouraging engagement with their communities. This encourages independence, safe public transportation access, strong community support, and child-friendly urban planning. While statistics may vary, overall, Germany is a safe and supportive country for children.
What is the divorce rate in Germany?
In 2023, Germany’s divorce rate was 35. 74 percent, with the highest rate at almost 52% in 2005. Since then, divorce rates have ranged between 30 and 50%. The divorce rate does not provide information about the “divorce risk” of a particular marriage cohort, as divorces do not relate to a marriage year. The data on marriages was taken from the Federal Statistical Office’s ‘Genesis-Online Datenbank’. Accessing all statistics starts from $1, 788 USD yearly.
How did Germans discipline their children?
A study identified three primary categories of parental punishment styles: non-corporal, mild, and severe. The probability of respondents from East Germany having been subjected to severe or non-corporal forms of punishment was found to be lower than that of respondents from West Germany. Additionally, the study revealed that cookies are employed by the site, and all rights are reserved for text and data mining, AI training, and analogous technologies.
What are the benefits of single mothers in Germany?
Individuals who are the primary caregivers for their children are entitled to the full child allowance and an additional tax allowance of €2, 928 for expenses related to childcare, education, or vocational training. In cases where both parents are involved in the care of their children, they are typically each entitled to half of this amount.
How do European parents discipline their children?
Britain is the strictest country in Europe, with over a third of parents being stern on discipline. The most effective ways to deal with bad behavior are educating children, taking away toys, and rationalizing with them. Portuguese parents are less strict than those in Britain, France, and the Netherlands, with only 28 taking a firm approach and the least likely to shout at their children. Respect, well-behavedness, and sociability are the most valued attributes for children, while having a ‘cheeky’ character, being quiet, and having a sensitive personality are considered less important.
What is the Dutch attitude towards children?
Dutch parents are known for their freedom and less strictness compared to other countries, allowing children to play outside and on the streets. This is evident in the Dutch television show, Joepie de Poepie, which features children playing in the streets on their own. This video asks expats worldwide about strange Dutch sentences, such as “krokodil”, “broodje poep”, “Joepie de Poepie”, and “de grote grijze geitenbreier”.
What is the parenting culture in Germany?
In Germany, parents treat their children like adults, valuing independence and responsibility. They treat them with trust, respect, and healthy boundaries, expecting the same from their children. Mutual trust is a foundation of parenting in Germany. Young children are unrestricted, allowing them to socialize, make decisions, and manage their own accounts with parental support. The home is considered a safe environment for individual uniqueness, and most children leave their parents’ homes when they go to university or become financially independent. This provides parents with a sense of freedom after raising their children.
📹 GERMAN PARENTING HABITS | 3 “Very German” things that German parents do 🇩🇪
Hi guys, Welcome to my channel, I’m Antoinette a New Zealander living in Lower Franconia Germany with my German/Polish …
Als Kind habe ich sehr viel draussen gespielt und bin oft für Stunden mit dem Nachbarshund im Wald und auf den Feldern gewesen. Ich habe Mirabellen, Kirschen, Zuckerrüben und Mais gegessen und musste erst Heim als die Strassenlaternen anggingen. Ich fand es toll unabhängig zu sein und bin bestimmt dadurch in meinem Leben gut ausgekommen.
What you didn’t mention is that the children are never really alone or unobserved. There are always lots of adults around them who also keep an eye on them. I take the bus to work and there are often children there. Most of the time they go to school with at least one friend. And even if they go alone, I would certainly help this child if it seems to be stressed out or in trouble and I know that the same is true for many other adults on the same bus. The same thing on playgrounds. A child falls and seems to need help, you just give and help no matter if it’s your own child or not.
german kids from ‘97 here. grew up in a rural suburb near hamburg and since there were no playgrounds nearby, my friends and i used to play in the streets and the forest. we used to take some snacks and water with us and just told our parents who we were playing with. at sun set, we used to come back home telling our parents about the adventures we had and where we were. also, from age 12, i had a long distance relationship that i traveled to by train on my own (3,5h ride + switching trains twice, yay). never wished it to be different
It broke my heart to see the playground of my elementary school (1950’s vintage) replaced with safer one of wood. That was then replaced with plastic. I loved those galvanized monkey bars and stainless steel slide. Not to mention the heavy wood swings with chains. Now there’s almost no green space to play in or trees and shrubs.
My husband grew up in a small town in the Midwest in the 1970s. All the stuff he did there with his friends, I did with mine roughly a decade later in a big city in Germany. Neither the US nor Germany are as they were back then. I will always be glad that I got to grow up the way I did. Modern parents seem so stressed most of the time and constantly worried that their kids need to be kept busy with something.
As a 5 y old (German in Germany) my mother send me to go shopping for bread at the bakery, she gave me money and a tiny shopping list in case I might forget I was suppose to buy. She gave me instructions what to do, and if I went. The bakery aprox. was 1 km from home. To school we walked 2 km alone. My mother walked the way ONCE with me and I had to remember it then. It was save to walk to school, later in high school we used the city transportation busses to go to school. My mother gave me instructions how to behave and not to go with anyone, if someone would approach me. And there were some moments, a few, when someone tried to lure me in, driving a car next to me. But I kept my distance, bc my mother protected me with her advice that I followed then. But in a big in general in the years after the war and decades after it was secure most of the times. Kidnapping and murders were the big exceptions. Walking passing a dark big park was secure in Berlin. .
As a West German kid I walked 🚶🏻 to my primary school about 1.7 km between 1968 and 1972. My mom showed me all possible ways to go to school 🏫 and to go back home 🏠. Including the crossing of two big streets with quite some traffic 🚙 🚛 and without traffic lights ❌🚦. After some while she said at 2/3 of the way: ‘Go on for the rest’ and she stayed behind. Later she let me go alone at 1/3 of the way. And finally I went by myself the whole way. She showed me how to use the public phone booth 📞 and always made sure that I had suitable coins with me (two 10 Pfennig coins 🪙 🪙 at that time and another 🪙 🪙 coins in case the coins failed). The result: It worked ALL the time👍. Funfact 😉: Many years later she told me that she had followed me unseen for some longer time on the whole way – just to make sure – until she was convinced that I could do it. And yes – I did it.👍 Thanks Mom. ❤️
I think the Dutch way is close to the German way. The one big difference is that you won’t see many children in public transport. Kids here go everywhere on bike. In the eighties some English psychologists published a paper in which they stated that more harm was done by overprotective parents, than actual harm was done the parents were afraid of.
Talking about my country, India, there are no such things as playgrounds or official playzones. Children generally play on the roads or on empty lands or wherever they get space. A decade ago there used to be local parks in many places in my city Kalkutta (Calcutta) but due to recent expansion of living space, we have lost many of these garden styled parks where kids used to play. In a city where 15 million people live, we hardly have any parks. The kids are forced to play on the road on which vehicles ply. Owning to this there exists a lot of dangers and risk and thus many parents rather prefer to not let their kids play outside and would rather engage them into some kind of academic or non-curricular training during their playtime. This is leading to much poorer quality of life for the children and in turn affecting their creativity and personal growth.
German mother here with a now 11 y old. Not every playground in Germany looks that fancy. Or scary from a American perspective.But it’s true this days there more wood and metal than plastic. And this days the swings from my childhood with the metal chains and a single seat are often replaced by netswings or Nestschaukel. These look a bit different and are better for small children or disabled people. You can lay on them with 3 people and swing and have fun. My child used to to go a playground in public park. And until she was 7 she never went alone. But even if we went together, she was used to see me sitting from distance reading and she was used not to be observed all the time. To be totally honest I only saw her, when she was hungry or wanted me to show off her newest trick she just invented. And after a while I didn’t see her at all because she was playing in an area with bushes and trees nearby the playground. She loves climbing on all sorts of trees. That was perfectly normal. And she never got any injury from our playground or the trees bigger than a small scratch.
Kind kriegt Schlüssel. Kind weiß was es darf und mit wem es nicht reden darf. Kind geht raus auf den Spielplatz. Kind kommt zurück kurz vor dem Abendbrot, ist dreckig und hungrig und bringt lauter andere Kinder mit, welche alle Hunger haben… Kinder gehen zusammen im Planschbecken baden. Ich gehe noch einmal einkaufen und sag den anderen Eltern bescheid, das heute bei uns gegessen wird. Nachdem essen wir diskutiert warum nicht alle 4 Freunde bei uns übernachten können. 5 Minuten nachdem das Licht aus ist, schläft das Kind. Es hat nicht einmal gefragt ob es was gucken kann…
I live in Berlin, where the article was filmed, and I think the design of the playgrounds is great. When I was a child, I could spend the whole day on playgrounds with my friends. There were always adults there to look after us and we had a variety of different playgrounds in the neighborhood. Some were quite simple, others had huge climbing frames and slides, and others had water as a creative opportunity.
Children learn to calculate the risk, sometimes it hurts but they learn. A 6-year-old German child is far more independent than a 12-year-old US child. And the most essential difference, each and every German adult takes responsibility for any child, be it a bus driver, a person passing by, or a granny perusal from her window. Police are considered to be a friend, not an enemy. It is called social behaviour, a thing Americans will never learn
I grew up in a village with about 7.000 inhabitants in Southern Germany (*2005), the next playground is on the other side of our fence, the next daycare and elementary school are within a 100m, I would have gone by myselve to the daycare by four, but our mom brought us becaus of my littell brother. From about 5 I was playing on the playground by myselve or with my friends all afternoon. We were allways climbing, at 9 I fell of a tree about 2,5 or 3m maybe even more, I broke my wrist and stopped climbing trees, a year or two later my aunt took me indoorclimbing for the first time, I’m climbing regullarly since I’m 14. I was one of those kids who did a lot by themselve even for German standarts, I was told I am very brave for traveling 6h, home from my uncel in swizerland, by myselve on the train at 14. My longest travel by myselve were about 8 or 9h so fare.
I have lived in the Netherlands for a few years and yes it’s wonderful, amazing playgrounds, safety…but one thing that wasn’t mentioned is the persistent bullying and phone use that are traded in for knowing where your child is. You’ll see kids here in Copenhagen as well, some of the most beautiful playgrounds but on their phones. So yeah having free range kids is great when they play and make friends, can explore or be independent but nowadays those same kids have their attention directed somewhere else than actually learning to get along and use the playgrounds themselves.
When I was a child we had so many great playgrounds right in the neighborhood – it felt like one every 500 m ^^ and all had different implements made of wood and sometimes metal; you could walk from one to the other all day and have the time of your life ^^ The greatest playground I remember was a so-called “construction playground”: as a child, you could build your own huts out of boards and all sorts of other materials with a hammer, saw, nails, etc. There were 2 supervisors who paid attention to safety and helped when needed – the kids did everything else themselves… and what did we build! Even two-story houses with connecting bridges, that was absolute madness… every few weeks the houses (or whatever else they built) had torn down and you could let your imagination run wild again. Sometimes there were parents there (mostly fathers) who volunteered to work around with the children and were there to help and advise – whether the children wanted it or not, hahaha.. . This was by far the greatest playground we children have ever had – and certainly the one where we learned the most to recognize our own limits. Minor injuries were completely normal, no one made a big deal about it – on the contrary, in the evening the scratches and wounds were proudly shown at home and you received praise and recognition for what a great job you had done ^^ It’s a real shame that there don’t seem to be any playgrounds like this anymore…
American children growing up during the 1940s through 1960s were far more independent than today’s children, who probably will be known as the “helpless generation.” Parents can’t protect their children from every bad outcome in life. Thus, parents should consider the harm they inflict on their children by smothering them with oversight.
My grandma liked to call me a stray because I always was outside with my friends from the age of 10 playing on large playgrounds with huge net constructs which were 5m high, or playing in the nearby woods on a small stream or playing football from after school to sunset. Best childhood ever. Yes, we came home once or twice with bloody knees, a cut above the eye or broken wrist, but those things would have happened most likely one day even under the eyes of our parents. I’d give my kids the same kind of freedom I had and teach them the same lessons I was taught and experienced myself.
As a child in Germany (DDR/East Germany to be precise) I did not play at playgrounds. The village I grew up in and the fields and woods around were our playground. We played in sand pits, corn fields, went inside abandoned houses, climbed the cherry trees, and flew kites, explored old barns etc.. I had to be home at 5:30, that was all. In cities it was and is different I think.
Unfortunately, parents in Germany are becoming more and more anxious. This is a bad development for children. People used to talk about helicopter parents. They always hover over their children, monitor everything and tell the child too often what it has to do. Nowadays, people talk about lawnmower parents who clear every blade of grass out of the way before the child trips over it. Young adults who grow up in such an environment are often very dependent and their physical abilities are getting worse.
Als Kind in Deutschland aufgewachsen, kann ich nur sagen: sei froh, dass du nicht die Spielplätze der 70er Jahre gesehen hast. Wenn ich daran zurückdenke, wundert es mich, dass nicht mehr passiert ist. Ok, ich selbst hatte nen gebrochenen Arm. Aber naja… bis dahin hatte ich Spass. Und danach auch wieder. Es gehörte dazu, dass man sich verletzt. Das hat auch keinen Arzt interessiert, solange du nicht im Wochenabstand zum Arzt musstest. Solche Spielplätze wären heute undenkbar, selbst in Deutschland. Die Zeiten waren eben anders. Dennoch, oder gerade deswegen, hatte ich eine glückliche Kindheit.
My daughter and brother walked to school together. They walked to the playground and played alone. They had to be home when the street lights came on. My step father did spy on them occasionally to check up on them. They walked to the stables too alone. They stopped on the way to school to pick through the junking trash. My daughter came home with a baby buggy full of stuff every few months. Lol. My mom cleaned what she could and put some back out for our junking. 😅
In Sweden, I got my first commuter pass and a key home hanging under my shirt on a string when I was 9-10 years old I remember that i so PROUD to manage to take the subway alone 4 stations to school and get home and make my own afterschool snack waiting for mom coming home..and even taking the bus 5-6 minutes to Karate practice and other activity’s . I did get really independent and selfgoing from that i presume
This could have been about growing up in small town USA in the 1960s, as I did. Everything was the same then as depicted in Germany today. Children had much more true autonomy, clear and simple boundaries, and a sense of accountability. I think the change is why anxiety seems to rule for parents and kids today.
When I was a kid in the countryside of Germany, we did´t even have playgrounds. We played on the street, in the woods and in the vast fields and gardens. We were out all afternoon and had to come back for dinner. We often had scratches from climbing trees, but that was considered normal. We wore old clothes when playing outside. The best playground to me is an exiting environment with trees, lakes, bushes, fields… Nevertheless, I love, how creative modern playgrounds are. There have many difficult levels, swings and slides, for example. Kudos to the designers of these beautiful playgrounds, the are doing a great job.
I recently read on reddit that the DIN EN for playgrounds (the German standard) regarding security measures was not designed for the purpose to prevent injury. The security measures may even be such that kids could break a bone in the worst case… The main design goal of the standards are set to prevent death or any other permanent damage from possible injuries.
It is necessary to say that although it does not look like, still the German law has some requirements of safety for these playgrounds. For example the structure need very good foundations, the floor surface has to be soft for tall structures (there was tree bark small pieces in the article) in order to reduce impact in case of fall and they are yearly check by specialized companies.
Czech playgrounds in the major cities are pretty amazing too. thanks for sharing the statistics, but the threat of litigation, although it might be very low, is enough to scare city planners to install the “safest” playground equipment. the US also has the american disability act, that requires that playgrounds need to accommodate wheel chairs.
I grew up in the old South Africa, and I lived in one of the housing schemes/townships. And around every corner there was a playground or a sports field for soccer, cricket, netball etc. The schools were closest, so we walked to school. Even from 6 years old onwards, all the children walked to the shops, and even the cinema . We grew up being able to know to take care of ourselves, how to interact in society, to socialise with our friends and neighbours. That was long ago. Today, there are no playgrounds. Children need to be transported to school. Walking to school is dangerous. Today there’s no interaction between children out off school. And it shows. Compare the youth of today to the youth of “the good old days”. We never had things like ‘bullying’, ADHD, child depression etc. Great that Germany is so different. But other countries are not safe.
One example of this risk adverse society was shown on British TV recently when a Scandinavian pop star Aurora said that for every record bought she wanted to plant some trees to make a forest. The host beamed and nodded slavishly (probably thinking ‘ooooh great, an interview with a trendy artist & an eco message’). She then said that the forest could be somewhere where you could take your kids- the host beamed wider and nodded in agreement. Then Aurora added mischievously ‘And leave them there…’ The host’s face dropped and he looked like he’d just shat his pants and even while Aurora was continuing ‘And they can teach themselves how to live in the forest’. The host hastily added ‘Not sure about leaving kids in the forest, don’t try this at home’ But the thing is there are schools in Scandinavia that take kids out to the woods for all day classes in all weathers. Oh, yeah and there are bears and wolves in parts of Scandinavia. The kids are told to stay within a certain marked perimeter, but otherwise they are left to there own devices all day. Petty much the way I was as a kid. I’d head out at 09;00 and not be back until I was hungry or it was getting dark (whichever happened first) – we’d run off to a nearby wood and spend all day just larking around.
I grew up in the 1960s/70s in Western Germany. We learnt where our limits are by hurting ourselfes. And it was OUR fault because WE went too far. My father always said: “If you get under the bus with that injury, you may die!” (means: Don’t take it too serious). We learnt where our limits are and how far we can go!
I’m a German living in Japan right now and I must say that playgrounds here are way better because they don’t distinguish between age groups and offer facilities for all ages – even for adults. Also Denmark has this. That’s very much missing in Germany. But I understand that most things are already great if compared to greedy and superstituous US.
4:05 I grew up in Germany and played at many playgrounds. And I was capable to master everything. When revisting the same playgrounds as an adult I almost shat my pants trying some of the jumps and climbs. I´ve clearly lost my confidence and skills due to a lack of practice. As an adult I was full of fear when inline skating came up and I tried them. But I was fearless when I was roller skating as a kid and teen.
Parents in America are more careful than German parents because in case of an accident they will face high medical bills. Almost all Germans have health insurance so they don’t have to worry about it. My daughter fell down while playing and broke her arm, so my husband took her to the hospital and she got a special bandage (Gipsverband), a few weeks later she was ok again and everything was covered by health insurance.
I‘m a mom of 4 living in Germany. We have a lot of different playgrounds even in our little town. But theres one thing I’m telling my kids: when you can’t get on the climbing frame (is this even the correct word?) by yourself it’s not ment to be for you and you won’t be safe up there. And most of the time I am right 😊
BTW also in Switzerland children are going/coming to school at similar age as in Germany. BTW I was going alone school at 11 (in Italy) I was going with my sisters ‘alone’ @8 years old. This is not possible anymore since ~15-20 years in Italy. Till 10 years of age, children (In Italy) have to be brought to school and retrieved (parents may nominate friends or relative but their names must be filed with the school). After 11 children may be allowed to go home by themselves if the parents have signed paperworks with the school.
It took decades for playgrounds in Germany to become more exciting. For a long time, they were reduced to boring swings and sandboxes, so that children sometimes preferred nearby construction sites, which aren’t really safer. And, no matter how hazardous playground buildings may look, there’s tons of rules and regulations behind them, in order to prevent serious injuries or death.
Sadly, in Russia (Moskow), most playgrounds (like those in the yards of apartment blocks) are rather similar to those in the US – made from prefabricated plastic blocks in bright colours. Some public parks have more “german” examples – unique, made from natural material and pretty interesting. My and my sister’s favourite as children was one in the Vernadsky park, built like a big wooden castle. Sadly gone by now…
I can totally confirm that some playgrounds in germany are actualy built scary even for adults. I’ve seen some where I realy was afraid when I saw my kids climbing up without any safety or security but they are not only built to train the kids, but also their parents, too. As a german parent, you have to learn to trust your children that they know what they can manage and to let them go. Uowards in this case. And if they realize they were overconfident and they need you to get down again, well, you should learn to ignore your own fear of heights fast. 😀
But as a dad of three daughters i think that this “american parenting” style keeps getting popular in germany more and more especially due to social media. Carrying them to school in a 3 ton SUV, controlling every step they make, wanting to know what they do and were they are. German parents lose trust in the abilities of their kids to take care of themselves for at least 5 minutes a day.
I grew up in Brazil in the 80s and after my 5th anniversary I was given the key to our house and could go anywhere with my bike. We didn’t had fancy playgrounds like that, but we would just play around in the streets or venture for hours in the small patch of forest of the city. But I had friends that would just be driven by car and were not allowed to go out, they were just excluded from our adventures. I live today in Germany and have a 2 year old daughter, I plan to give her such freedom as I had, so she can learn to be independent.
My parents showed me the way a few times and then I was told to go to school alone. My son, 3, fell from a height of 4 meters on a climbing frame 2 weeks ago. He fell into the ropes a few times and then onto the tree bark floor. I was shocked, the parents on the playground were shocked, my son was shocked for 10 seconds, then got up and climbed back up before I could get to him.
Unfortunately some german places are getting obsessed with this hyper safeness. My old elementary school had a huge playground with lots of different and unusual play equipment and a bunch of trees. As i grew older i often passed my old school and they felled all the big trees you could climb on and got rid of all the cool stuff and replaced it with generic slides and swings. Really sad to see. Even as an adult i love big and creative playgrounds. I wish i was still small enough to play in them😅
What you and my people don’t know or notice, the German players and the state place a lot of effort to construct a safe playground. For example studies show the risk of live thratening injuries increase, if childen fall more than one meter. There for high swings a place between earth walls, reducing the high of the possible Fall. The high slides are in Tube, so nobody can Fall of it. And so one … Many playgrounds are encircled by fences or some kind of cattle grid to keep dogs out. …
So, my brother and I were dropped off at Grannies house when we were Kids, that was in the middle of nowhere compared to teh next village over in Schleswig-Holstein (only slight exageration, by bicycle it was like 15-25 Minutes into teh village propper). We we’re not alone however, all grandchildren and a neighbourskid (from the fringe of teh next village) basically squatted at her place the entire summer and we basically WERE “Dorfkinder” for the summer and we made the woodlands etc. our stompingground after we were above 10, befoer we ONLY made the not so small property and teh two villages our stompingground, fun times indeed! But from what I understand, letting your kids roam all over the place would be unthinkable in the US.
There are quite a lot of projects in Germany where children (and their families) are involved in the process of playgeound-design. They care about other things than we might think. They want places to hide, picknick spots, benches for their parents etc. You can see magnificent differences in playground-design. Some playgrounds are standardized and boring and others are reqlly cool and Individual:)
I think playground are just kind of a „symptom” of underlying cultural differences. As I understand it (and experienced it during an exchange year ages ago), in general americans want to protect their children and teens from harm by making sure the harm doesn’t come near them or is unknown to them (ie dont climb too high, or you’ll fall and get hurt, don’t use matches or you’ll burn, don’t have sex at all, or you’ll get pregnant, don’t talk about money or difficult things, don’t …)except in very closed, safe settings supervised by adults. Of course not everybody is like that, US is huge, with many different people in it. But, as a rule, in Germany we kind of protect our children by teaching them to protect themselves (like saying to our kids and teens: you won’t fall because you know how to climb, you won’t burn because you know how to safely make a fire, you won’t become a teenage parent because you know how how to be safe, sane and consensual and if you don’t know how to solve a problem yet, you’ll find a way to do it. I’ll be here if you need me) Where y’all’s crazy gun and health care politics come into that theory though…. I really truly absolutely don’t know
As a 1948 model Canadian, it was always possible to escape excessive parental supervision. I remember the forbidden pleasure of paddling a raft on a pond in an disused gravel pit. When my wife and I moved to Norway in 1980 and had two children in that decade we tried to do things the Norwegian way. For example, we allowed our children to nap in their buggies outside in the winter (and other seasons), we allowed them to explore the neighbourhood unsupervised, including the forest near our house. As a ruralist, I do not have much experience with playgrounds. One sport I am interested in is parkour, although some may regard it as an urban phenomenon.I addition, children living near water should learn to respect it, but have access to boats. Our neighbour told us that he had to row one to school, from the age of seven. I have tried to teach our children how to use tools, and to avoid injuring themselves. In particular, I think children should learn how to use knives, and be capable of making fires. It is appropriate to point out specific dangers, such as the cliff at the edge of our property. From an early age, we would encourage them to look up at our property from the road 15 meters below. I think they understood, that they should keep to the other side of the fence. After a mere 44 years of living here, we almost feel more Norwegian than Canadian. Our daughter is now living in California. Should she and her husband ever have Children, I hope they will consider moving (back) to Europe, because I feel the environment is better for children to grow up in.
The greatest danger for beeing harmed for a child is his own family. That’s the same in the US and in Germany. But in Germany ist’s much much easier for children to find help. They can find friends by there own on playgrounds and other parents see if something is going wrong. Homeschoolong is’t allowed so you have teachers and friends of your own. In the US you can’t get in contact with others if your parents don’t want it. Much more dangerous! I’m from Germany so my English wasn’t perfekt. But I am glad my childs can live here!
I designed and built playgrounds like the one in the movie in Poland. The mentality here is more like the US. School managers are afraid of the few parents that are afraid of everything and city officials are afraid of responsibility and press reaction in case of rare accidents, so they often build safe and boring playgrounds and are then surprised that 10 years old don’t want to play in them. But the idea is exactly as explained here. Playgrounds have to include risks for two reasons: especially for older children there is no fun in excessively safe playgrounds and well-designed playgrounds allow kids to learn about risks. The design of these playgrounds is regulated in strict EU standards and all public playgrounds have to conduct regular safety checks. They may look risky, but this is very much a controlled risk.
I think cultural, historical and anthropological factors play the main role. Here in Italy we have the not-so-false stereotype of the Mediterranean overprotective mum, but I have a feeling that it’s still more relaxed than the average US mum – except for the mum I saw at a playground once, escorting her 7/8 yo around hand in hand the entire time and scaffolding her buttocks to protect her when climbing stuff, the way I would have probably done with my 2 yo, or not even. Things have changed dramatically in the last 20-30 years, and I think this is something US and Italy have in common. 20 years ago I was serving at a summer camp and even if I was underage I had responsibility of a small group of 7 years olds inside a huge amusement park, now summer camp trips to that same park are only allowed with a parent or caretaker up to 10 years old. My super anxious and controlling mum would still let me play in the woods and in the sea with friends but no adults around since age 7 and go around the town alone since age 11, but I don’t see that so much nowadays, and I am still not sure I will be able to get myself to do the same when my kids will be that age. Yet, I would never ever consider things like baby monitors, leashes for toddlers, tracking bracelets or suing anyone because my kids got hurt at the playground. When they want to experiment something new I consistently cherish and encourage them, while still firmly standing my ground when it comes to actual safety and responsibility.
Thing about protecting your kids is: You mostly have to protect them from irreperable damage. The really bad stuff. For everything else, let them hurt themselves. You cannot protect them indefinitely and if they learn early, they will be much better at protecting themselves, and they will have years of experience with it!
Not living in Berlin, but when I was first grade I drove the 2+km to school on my bike through our town, crossing major streets… I guess, my parents just saw my responsible self and taught me well during my kindergarten time when I drove almost the same distance also by bike but with my mom behind me 😊
●When talking about his childhood it was kind of hard for me, an American, to accept that comedian George Carlin’s parents let him play out in the streets of New York City with his friends. At age seven! ●In the 1970s & 80s our mom would have us small kids wait in the car while she went inside to the store or whatever. Now? A mother was arrested after her job interview for doing the same thing. That’s the standard now here in the States.
The high slade is all closed and so is the stairway up, what is supposed to happen in there? Under swings and the balancing parcours is always soft ground. Kids may scratch their knees, but nothing worse will happen. I am German and had pretty protective parents (by German standards), but I was never told which attraction at a playground I may or my not use. I started taking public transportation to school at age 11 and was allowed to go to the cinema alone at 12. The thought of always being watched sounds awful to me. And even if you try, it’s not possible. Children get lost (and nearly always found safe) at amusement parks or in other busy enviroments in all countries. The time a parent needs to grab the wallet can be enough for that. Total security is an illusion. So I think it’s better to prepare children for dangerous situations, teach them what to do when they get lost, what to look for in traffic and how to use public transportstion early on.
How does it compare to my country? My country is the United States, and if you look at pictures of playgrounds built in the 1950s and 1960s by the Greatest Generation for their baby boomer children, you’ll see that they were just as risky and sometimes downright dangerous as German playgrounds are now. We baby boomers fell off monkey bars onto pavement, and all kinds of things happened, but severe injuries were rather rare. We were also sent out of the house in the morning and were on our own all day until dusk. I think the change happened because of (a) fear of lawsuits, (b) overblown fear of hazards caused by hyperbolic media reports, and (c) the fact that now most children grow up in exurbs that are not walkable or bikable and where kids can’t go anywhere unless their parents drive them.
German author Anne Kratzer has done research on this topic, which was published in Gehirn&Geist in 2019. It explored the influence of the long-trusted German parenting manual, “The German Mother and Her First Child” by Johanna Haarer. She theorized that this parenting philosophy had many damaging effects, too. Her writing is well worth a read.
Spooler, this is not just in Germany. Almost all European countries have the same attitude toward children. Some are even more free. Playground is just one part. Compare schools in the US and Europe, and you will be amazed. Not secure bunkers but open and inviting buildings and time to play between lessons. The US is fear-driven and people are getting obsessed with security and lawsuits. Compare the number of lawyers per capita in the US and Europe.
I love to hear people from other countries saying something positive about my own country. Cause we Germans are used to see all those negative things in our country. It relaxes me to see that there are good things. (I think there are a lot of good things but we forgot to look at them, cause we learned to look just at the bad ones.)
If you can get up – you can play on it! And honestly I even prefer the Danish way. (Where you do not even have to worry that your child goes missing) I am a German mother of four (very rare) and I let my kids do what they think they are capable of. I encourage them to do „dangerous” stuff too. My now 15 year old went round Berlin (we live close) first time on her own when she was 12. My 15 month old goes up the slide. Just let them be! And also there is no lawsuit unless the playground is actually broken and not closed.
I have three children here in Germany, one with disabilitys. Puplic Playgrounds are TÜV proofed, and very expensive. My oldest child 7, wishes a friend to going to school with by itself. All the Other parents driving their kids these 500m with their SUV. Big chaos in front of school, dangerous for those, who are going by feed. School is trying to change with a big transparent “stop dem Elterntaxi!”, a Initiative against parents with their cars. Our traffic person was accidently hitting by car for three times now. Almost so far this year. I have no explanation for that. But perhaps it is a explanation for the also increasing diabetes and adipositas rate in Germany, too. And in the end, you have “pampered” kids, who are not able to help themselfs when they are alone in a critical Situation, who are not able the close theire shoes by themselfes, who can not ask for help, climb a tree or run with joy just because.
European law says, as a parent you cannot be responsible what happens to your kids 24/7. US law says, you are responsible 24/7 and also the rest of the time. This is just the opposite of the gun law in the US and Europe. My sister in law pu her grandkids in life jackets for the kiddy pool and filled it only 10 inches according to the manufacturers recommendation.
Yeah, safety by tracking is so much more important for Americans so nothing would happen to their children. However, ferberizing, which raises cortisol levels and according to Brisch harms the human in the long term, shockingly is still a big thing in the US. In other countries, especially in Europe (northern countries) this is highly criticised. @DW I’d really be delighted to see a documentary on ferberizing.
I am from the UK, but live in Germany. When I look at the places I played in the UK, they have been ruined by a obsession with safety. The Moatwood has had the moat filled in. Despite its name, I never remember seeing water in it, and the slopes were never steep, and incidentally I saw my first grass snake there . (A harmless snake) I doubt there are any there now. The boating lake has been leveled over, because children could drown there. I swam in it as a child despite it being only 1 foot deep. The English speaking World has gone safety mad!
And in spite of all this German society is the complete opposite: people are extremely risk averse, independent thought and decision making often isn‘t incentivised at all and companies and individuals prefer playing it save. Buying every insurance police imaginable instead of investing in the stock market is part of German culture, as is following the rules vs thinking outside the box. Something doesn’t add up.
In all Europe the kids are “”free”” to go alone to school or play outside I remember long time ago my mom giving me money and send me to buy breads…. Always I was repeating in my had what I have to say 😅”” hello Mme, I have to buy this bread, here are the money, thank you, goo d bye”😅😅😅I was may be 7?😅
The point is that you will not win any lawsuit here in Germany about unsafe playgrounds. The risk is estimated and if the estimation is okay any injury will just be bad luck. Americans due to their legal system are overly careful about such things. Nobody would start a lawsuit in Germany about some broken bones also because it will cost you no money. All healthcare costs of a child accident are fully covered so you can’t actually have financial harm.
Well, the US are the odd-one-out here. Nowhere in the world except in the US are playgrounds etc. so super duper safe that nothing could possibly happen. And the reason is simple: Nowhere except in the US are there absurd lawsuits in which people get millions for not being able to take care of themselves (e.g. for burning themselves with coffee, slipping on bird droppings etc). You kind of mention this yourself at 5:08, but it sounds like a minor aspect, when it is really the only reason that is so! In the US, companies just can’t afford to build e.g. playground installations that aren’t absolutely guaranteed to preclude lawsuits, because the potential economical damage would be way too high. If that risk were miraculously (and highly unlikely) taken away, I guarantee you that they’d build stuff like everywhere else in the world – well, probably even taller, bigger and more thrilling 🙂
I worked with kids for 40 years, we have a few more cars on the streets, but other than that it is fine. Big cities like Berlin, Frankfurt, Munich have and always had hot spots with q bit more crime. But all on all kids have. chance to grow up and not be paranoid. Many kids play in the forest. And sorry, an adult being terrified of a German playground is pretty much proof of the difference 😂😂😂
The US was like this before 1980. I grew up in the 1950s and 60s. I walked to and from school BY MYSELF at age 6. Walked to playgrounds and parks by myself. We had 10′ high swings and slides, what fun. Rode my bike all over the city by myself at age 12. Americans today are just nuts, very paranoid. perusal scare stories on the news. Scary stories make higher ratings and MORE MONEY.
is Germany safer than the US 😛 well at least in school you don’t get killed by some random guy with a gun. Also i think it depens if you are grown up in a city or on rural areas. I mean i grew up in a village with 500 people so most of the people living there knew either me directly or knew my parents. It was totally ok for the parents there if you went out with your friends and came home before 6pm and never actually told were exactly you have been. I sometimes was several kilometers away from home visiting another school friend 3 villages away 😀 and because we lived so rural of course we had to take the school bus alone. Since i’ve never grew up in a city i don’t know how it’s there but i would assume that a kid in the 4th grade could use the bus / S-Bahn / Straßenbahn all alone to go to school and back. Some even earlier depending on the child.
I’m all for independence if in the country (I grew up in the country, as me and my younger sis were left alone during the summers with my sister who was 5 years older) but if I had a kid, I would never, ever let my child be unsupervised at a public playground /park or take transit unless they were with an older sibling, large group, or with another trusted adult. I mean, firstly, it’s child neglect here, so the parents would be charged for being irresponsible. But more importantly, I know of actual instances of child predators staking out playgrounds (very similar but much taller with nets than the one featured in this article) before. They are transient and move across states and towns, avoiding law enforcement. I find it.. difficult to believe that there are no child predators in Germany or other countries who don’t utilize the same MO. It just takes one minute for someone to nab a child and disappear. I’d imagine Germany has missing children? Where I live it is very safe & I do believe small kids could transverse alone, I just consider it very unwise to do so. Safety is, frankly, an illusion. I remember when I was 14 and was getting my hair done by a young lady, who must have been 21 or younger, who weighed under 110 pounds. An older guy in his fifties had been giving her unwanted attention. He pulled up to the salon as I was getting my hair done & my hairdresser was not comfortable. We were the only two people there & no way we would have been able to handle him if things went badly.
Also… this might ve a german Thing. I’m nor Sure. But….the TÜV. And they reagulating really everything. For example the weight and height of a child to allow him or her to climb on something. Of course Kids hurt themselfes from time to time. It is possible. But let’s say 99% are just fun play time
Naja. Nur weil es für eine Erwachsene nicht sicher aussieht, heißt es nicht, dass es nicht sicher ist. Die Sicherheitsstandarts (keine Rostigen Schrauben, keine kaputten Seile) sind in Deutschland extrem hoch. Und leider sind die Spielplätze auf den Dörfen Deutschlands nicht so spektakulär wie in Großstädten.
Thanx, good article! I thought the German parents control too much their kids playing outside. But apparently Americans are even worse 😉 I grew up in the Eastern Europe and had much more freedom as a kid and was allowed to take risks – going to a boxing club with full contract trainings or launching fireworks with my buds in a park…
Leaving a seven year old alone on a playground is extremely dangerous, albeit not because of the play structures. It was normal in my childhood in the 70s/80s: Not safer than today, but less awareness. Today however, almost all parents would find that as irresponsible as I do. Nevertheless it is not illegal and not a reason to call the Jugendamt (CPS equ.).
I am American and my husband is German. Overall it feels safer here but no one should have on their rose tinted glasses either; especially in urban areas people (migrant men) are becoming more predatory. I would not let my daughter commute long distances alone. Funny that this is published now, there has been a lot more unprovoked random violence here in the past few months.
It’s not normal at all to leave kids alone at the playground and also they dont go to school alone at 6-7 years with public transport. But, yes, there are many sick parents living in Berlin, where you are shooting your article. It has nothing to do with parenting in germany in general. Sorry, not at all. The parents you are talking of, are parents who aren‘t aware of what a child is and needs.