Courtney Reissig explains that motherhood often feels like death, but it is essential for mothers to love their children like Christ. Psychology agrees that when a major relationship or marriage ends, the person left may feel grief as painfully as someone who lost a child. The days, weeks, and months following a mother’s death can be heartbreaking, but it may also bring relief, especially if she struggles with chronic conditions that will no longer plague her. New neuroscience reveals the dying brain’s first and last experiences as we pass away.
The day your mom dies, you become motherless and start questioning things you never imagined you would. However, grieving can make your life richer in unexpected ways. Ten truths the biggest loss of my life have taught me:
Motherhood can be a cross to carry, and the death we feel is a death.
The feeling of grief and loss after having a baby is quite normal. There’s even a term for it: Matrescence.
Modern parents are far more overwhelmed physically, mentally, and emotionally than ever before.
The invisible load of motherhood has been battling for almost twelve years, and it has been a constant battle. By embracing the daily deaths we face as mothers and fathers, we can humbly offer our struggles to God and refine ourselves.
📹 When Motherhood Feels Like Death
Buhay Pamilya: Family Togetherness through Women Empowerment with Momsie Cielo Ibasco and Sherry Juele. May 01, 2024.
What to do when you regret motherhood?
Parents often have concerns about their ability to parent, financial stability, and balancing work and parenting. However, the question of “What if I regret having kids?” is a common concern that is rarely discussed. This article explores the reasons behind these concerns, how to decide if having kids is right for you, and what to do if you end up feeling regret after becoming a parent.
The idea that a parent might regret having kids is often cloaked in shame, but it is not a totally uncommon phenomenon. It is important to seek support from a trusted loved one or therapist, work on managing stress, and consider delegating responsibilities, such as hiring childcare or housekeeping help. By understanding the reasons behind these concerns and taking steps to manage them, parents can better navigate the challenges of parenthood and find happiness and fulfillment in their lives.
What is depleted mom syndrome?
Depleted Mother Syndrome is a condition where a mother experiences poor mental, emotional, and physical health due to the increasing burden of raising her child. As the child grows older, the list of tasks becomes longer, leading to overwhelming feelings. It is common for mothers to feel overwhelmed by the never-ending list of tasks, but there are ways to cope better. Understanding and addressing this condition can help mothers cope with the increasing demands of raising their children.
What is depleted mother syndrome?
Mom burnout, also known as depleted mother syndrome, is a feeling of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion, depersonalization, and lack of fulfillment resulting from intense child care demands. It is more common among women due to the disproportionate burden of parenting responsibilities on mothers, even when they work full-time outside the home. Symptoms of mom burnout include extreme feelings of exhaustion, depersonalization, and lack of fulfillment.
What is motherhood burnout?
Maternal burnout is a chronic stress and exhaustion state caused by relentless caregiving demands, particularly among women with full-time careers or without a co-parent.
What is toxic mothering?
Toxic parent traits are disturbing behaviors that can affect a child’s mental health at any age. These behaviors can be subtle and not always obvious, but can harm a child’s well-being and development. Toxic parents might use verbal belittlement, emotional manipulation, and physical intimidation to control their children. Understanding and learning how to deal with and navigate unhealthy family dynamics is crucial for having a more stable lifestyle.
There are various types of toxic parents, including dismissive, helicopter, narcissistic, passive, and permissive parents. Dismissive parents overlook or undermine their child’s feelings and needs, creating an environment where the child feels undervalued and struggles with self-expression. Helicopter parenting micromanages every aspect of a child’s life, stifling independence and developing critical problem-solving skills. Narcissistic parents center their family dynamics around themselves, seeking or demanding admiration and struggling to empathize with others’ needs.
Passive or permissive parents avoid confrontation, have difficulty maintaining expectations, and rarely set boundaries or demands. Children raised by permissive parents may have a chaotic path in life and struggle with authority.
Understanding and learning how to deal with and navigate unhealthy family dynamics can help children develop a more stable lifestyle.
What is bad mother syndrome?
The phenomenon of “bad mother syndrome” can be defined as a state of guilt experienced by a mother as a result of her own self-reflection on the decisions she makes regarding her children. This emotional state often gives rise to feelings of self-reproach and self-blame, which can in turn lead to feelings of selfishness and guilt.
What is cold mother syndrome?
Cold mother syndrome is a parenting style characterized by emotional distance, dismissiveness, and rejection, often accompanied by neglect of a child’s emotional needs. This can lead to severe psychological effects, including low self-esteem, self-doubt, paranoid tendencies, impaired decision-making abilities, and a tendency to be a people pleaser. Growing up with an emotionally distant mother can have long-term consequences on mental health and interpersonal relationships, such as challenges in forming deep connections and a tendency to engage with emotionally unavailable partners or unhealthy relationships.
What is toxic motherhood?
A toxic parent is a person who exhibits harmful behaviors that undermine a child’s self-worth, stability, and mental well-being. These behaviors can be controlling, demanding, and harsh, putting the child at high risk for long-term mental and physical health issues. Toxic parents can use subtle demeanors, actions, and behaviors, such as verbal belittlement, emotional manipulation, and physical intimidation, to control their children. Understanding and dealing with unhealthy family dynamics is crucial for a more stable lifestyle.
There are various types of toxic parents, and understanding these traits can help identify unhealthy behavior and help maintain a stable family environment. Recognizing and managing toxic parent traits can help individuals navigate unhealthy family dynamics and create a more stable lifestyle.
Is it normal to not enjoy being a parent?
Being a mother can be a challenging and rewarding experience, but it is also normal to feel a sense of guilt and insecurity. The responsibility of raising a child comes with a significant sacrifice, and it is important to prioritize the baby’s well-being above all else. In some cases, new mothers may experience intrusive thoughts, which can be disturbing or violent. These thoughts can make one feel like the worst mom in the world, but it is important to remember that everyone has these thoughts from time to time. It is also crucial to monitor oneself for warning signs of a more serious mental illness.
How to deal with losing yourself to motherhood?
Motherhood can be a challenging time, but it is essential to prioritize self-care and maintain a healthy relationship with your children. It is not selfish to prioritize self-care, as it allows you to be fully present with your children and partner. When you are overwhelmed or tired, you may feel irritable and negative about yourself. It is also important to show your children that you are more than just a mother.
To take time for yourself, consider taking small chunks of time for yourself, such as taking a walk with your baby, relaxing with a cup of coffee, reading a book chapter, or taking a deep breath. If nothing else fits into your busy schedule, step into the next room and take a few deep breaths.
Ask for help when needed, such as leaving the kids with your spouse or a sitter for a while. This allows you to take time for yourself to run errands or indulge in self-care activities like manicures, massages, or haircuts. Remember, self-care is not about being selfish, but about being present and loving for your children. Remember to write down your experiences and take time for yourself to maintain a healthy balance in your life.
How to stop feeling like just a mum?
Connecting with friends and practicing self-care are essential for feeling like someone outside of motherhood. Talking to adults and making new friends can help you feel more connected to yourself and the world around you. Self-care can take various forms, such as baths, nature walks, or journaling. It’s important to put yourself first and do whatever makes you feel good and at one with yourself.
Taking a break from parenting can be as simple as going out for coffee or booking a night away with friends. It’s a great way to escape the demands of parenting and recharge your batteries. Spending time doing something you love, such as going to the spa or going out for a nice meal, is crucial for feeling like yourself outside of motherhood. Breaks don’t have to be extravagant, but they are crucial for feeling like someone outside of motherhood.
📹 Sabina Spielrein – THE DEATH DRIVE, LOVE, AND MOTHERHOOD
Julie Reshe’s talk at the meeting of the Negative Group.
Thank you so much for this material. I am working on the concept of natality and I was searching for an appropriate psychoanalytic perspective. This is exactly what I was looking for! Do you have any publications on Spilrein, so I could quote you directly? One more question, if you permit: would you recommend Destruction as the Cause of Coming into Being as the primary Spilrein’s text?
I know he is from a different philosophical school of thought, but i wonder if your presentation doesnt tie well with david benatars views on natalism. Also the mention of intersubjectivity and relations made me think of bakhtin and his theories about dialogue and groups. I guess western therapeutic assumptions about love and relations are deeply flawed as long as the starting point is two separate selves. I dont know, im not specialized in philosophy, but many of these ideas coincide with my earliest intuitions on solitude, apart from others, and “nature”. Pertaining to nature, i think spinoza, emerson and the daoist religion are very interesting, especially if they essentially are in agreement with the concept of the death drive. Always nice to view your material 😊