The paper explores the differences in how mothers invest in their offspring based on their marital status, whether it be arranged marriage or self-choice marriage. It highlights that parents and children often disagree about how they get to marriage and when it happens, with “free-range” marriages predominant. Arranged marriages are considered more beneficial as they allow for more flexibility and autonomy in raising children.
Parents who favor arranged marriages believe that they are more experienced and objective than their children, and they can make better decisions about their children’s future. However, there are also challenges associated with arranged marriages, such as the potential for long-term relationships and the need for patience and maturity.
A parenting marriage is another type of arranged marriage where parents live together to raise their children, rather than romantically. The success of an arranged marriage depends on the patience and maturity of both parents, as well as the ability to set a good example and agree on how to raise the kids.
The paper also discusses the social principles fundamental to the arranged marriage system, which are often misunderstood. Fixed marriage is a popular Chinese tradition, and some parents choose to let their children marry whom they want to tie the knot with.
In conclusion, while arranged marriages offer benefits and drawbacks, they are not without their drawbacks. Parents who prefer arranged marriages believe that they are more experienced and objective than their children, and they can make better decisions about their children’s future.
📹 Parents Force Their Children to Arrange Marriage So Both Decide to Just Pretend Until..
Parents Force Their Children to Arrange Marriage So Both Decide to Just Pretend N4ME : W33D1NG S3E4S0N #movierecap …
Is it legal to marry your cousin in the Netherlands?
The Netherlands prohibits marriages between relatives or close blood relatives, with exceptions approved by the Minister of Justice. Bigamy is illegal, preventing someone from entering another marriage. This applies to foreigners marrying in Belgium, even if their national law permits polygamy. In the Netherlands, marriages between two people of the same gender are allowed, but there are significant differences if the couple intends to raise children. In summary, bigamy is considered a criminal offense in the Netherlands.
What are the negative effects of arranged marriage?
Individuals who marry young and are child brides are at an elevated risk of abusive marriages. This is due to a lack of love, an emphasis on the unit rather than individuality, and a potential for loneliness, family issues, and gender inequality.
Can siblings marry in the Netherlands?
In the Netherlands, marriages are conducted by the Registrar of Births, Deaths, Marriages and Registered Partnerships, and certain matters related to marriage are regulated by law. Parents, children, grandparents, and brothers and sisters are forbidden to marry each other in the Netherlands, except for adoptive siblings. To marry, at least one partner must be a Dutch national or resident. Partners must register their intention to marry at least two weeks in advance with the Registrar of Births, Deaths, Marriages and Registered Partnerships, either at a municipal office or online.
As of 1 January 2018, the limited community of property system applies automatically when partners marry in the Netherlands, unless otherwise specified in a civil-law notary-drafted marriage contract.
What is the walkaway wife syndrome?
Walkaway wife syndrome is a condition where a wife becomes emotionally disconnected and dissatisfied with her marriage, often after years of resentment. This decision is not impulsive, but rather a result of feeling neglected and unhappy within the relationship. Identifying warning signs of walkaway wife syndrome can help address the root issues and potentially save the marriage from the same fate. One of the most common signs is a stark emotional withdrawal from the marriage, with the wife feeling distant and disconnected from her partner.
Should parents stay married for the kids?
Staying together can provide children with stability and security, while an unhealthy marriage can negatively impact their emotional well-being. Divorce, while disruptive in the short term, can offer a healthier and happier environment for the family in the long run. It reduces conflict, offers personal growth, and allows parents to have more freedom. Parents who prioritize self-care and healthy relationships set their children up for success in both personal and future relationships.
This article aims to help parents make informed decisions that prioritize their children’s health and happiness, whether they’re navigating the complexities of divorce or considering staying together.
Should you prioritize marriage or children?
It is of the utmost importance to prioritize one’s marriage in order to ensure the longevity of a healthy relationship even after the children have left the family home. It permits children to direct their attention toward their own lives, thereby alleviating the burden on parents. To illustrate, if one’s children exhibit a greater affinity for one’s spouse than for their own parents, it becomes challenging to rekindle the relationship when they reach adulthood.
What is a silent divorce?
Silent or invisible divorce refers to a situation where a married couple remains legally married but ends their emotional and physical relationship, living separate lives under the guise of a normal marital relationship without the formal process of a legal divorce. This can involve minimal interaction or leading completely separate lives while maintaining the legal status of marriage. Identifying these signs can be challenging, as they often emerge slowly over time.
Key indicators of a silent divorce include a lack of communication, which can turn shared dreams and emotions into mundane tasks. Identifying these signs is crucial for couples to address the issues in their relationship or begin the healing process of legal separation.
Should I save my marriage for my kids?
If spouses can co-parent positively and maintain personal differences for the sake of their children, they may have an advantage if their parents stay together. If not, an amicable divorce may be better for the children. The most critical question is whether the relationship has deteriorated to the point of irreparable. If there has been infidelity or attempts to rebuild trust, it is important to make a good-faith effort to repair the relationship before divorcing. However, whether the spouses are willing and able to make that effort for the sake of the children is an important question.
Are arranged marriages more successful?
Arranged marriages have seen a significant increase in divorce rates in the United States, with a divorce rate of 4%. In India, where 90% of marriages are arranged, the divorce rate is only 1%. Technology has significantly influenced the formation of arranged marriages, with websites like shaadi. com and indiamatrimony. com providing sub-sites for Indian regions. The modern approach to arranged marriages has also seen more negotiation and vetoing, with some young people being given a power of veto.
While family influence is still key, some people are given the right to say no, allowing them to choose their partner if they don’t like them. This shift in the way arranged marriages are structured has led to a more flexible and flexible approach to arranged marriages.
Why do parents want arranged marriage?
Child marriages are often arranged due to poverty and lack of options, particularly in rural areas of East Asia, Sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, and Latin America. Parents arrange these marriages to ensure their child’s financial security and reinforce social ties, believing it offers protection and reduces the daughter’s economic burden on the family. In countries with high rates of child marriages, the girl’s marriage is almost always arranged by her parents or guardians. The highest rates of arranged child marriages are found in Niger, Chad, Mali, Bangladesh, Guinea, Central African Republic, Afghanistan, Yemen, India, and Pakistan, as well as parts of the Americas.
In impoverished communities, every adult mouth to feed becomes a continuing burden, and women often struggle to find gainful employment or are prohibited from doing so. Some scholars argue that arranging a daughter’s marriage becomes a necessary means to reduce this burden, and poverty stemming from poor decisions is a consequent driver of arranged marriages.
Are arranged marriages legal in the Netherlands?
In the Netherlands, individuals can choose their partner independently, but forced marriage is a form of domestic violence that can be punishable by law. Safe Home is a service for those affected by domestic violence and child abuse, offering advice and support. The employee listens to the individual’s concerns, answers questions, and provides advice. They will determine if professional help is needed and advise on the best course of action. The individual can remain anonymous if needed.
I am a product of forced marriage. Growing up, I’ve seen my mother suffer up to date. She was never happy about her marriage and I can’t blame her looking at how our father treat her and us as his kids. 😔 She would always ask for our opinions whenever a man wants to marry us because she said she doesn’t want us to end just like her who is forced by her elders.
Mashallah mufti. I come from a culture where you don’t speak to the prospect until after the nikkah has been signed. And you don’t look at a picture of them until after you say yes. It’s like shopping for a mattress more than anything. Every prospect that comes my way has triggered an argument with my parents because that’s not the way I want to get married. It gives me immense hope that I’m not a bad child, disobedient, unworthy in eyes of Allah for choosing my partner myself. Jazakallah
Now I’m just thinking where my abusive mother has taken my life forward to, I’m young only 11 years old. But I saved this like I knew I was gonna need to hear this later. It’s like my mother has threatened me so much that I already know where my future life will be gone to. Even if I don’t wanna marry the person, hopefully they’ll treat me better atleast.
MASHA ALLAH Beautiful explanations n well asked. Dear parents don’t do this to your children. Don’t punish them. Many of them suffered a lot. They are your amaanah. You have to answerable. Be aware of that matter. Fear ALLAH SWT. Take care of your children. MAY ALLAH SWT guide us every parent and every children as well. Aameen.
My parents are forcing me to get married while I don’t want to do it and neither do I like the boy. I don’t have any family member supporting me. I have said not once but thousand times that I don’t like him but these people are threatening to beat me up and are making dirty allegations. I prayed a lot to my Lord to save me from this haram relationship, but none of my prayers were accepted. All the doors are closed, there is no way out for me. Happiness has gone far away from my life. I cannot commit suicide because it is haram. Please pray for me that this relation breaks or I die.
I really want to marry this guy and i pray so much that we do, but he told me his parents want him to marry someone from back home and he told me he doesnt want to but hes just doing it for his mother and i feel so bad, May Allah make it easy for him, and allow us to get married one day, Ameen, i feel like he feels so stuck and like he has no say, i really want him to just be happy,💔
One of my friend’s parents forced her to marry someone who she doesn’t like Because she already loves someone But she told about her love to her parents and they didn’t agree with that Now she marry a man that her parents choosed for her She is not satisfied with her life She passas every days with tears 😭 And she accepts this life for her parents and allah ♥️ She always telling me that she is not happy and her life has lost 😞
Salam…thank you for your speech, but unfortunately some parents don’t want to know that…I was engaged at the age of 16 and now I’m 17 my wedding will take place in 3 months…without my consent and I I still don’t agree…but despite everything I say and do..my family doesn’t want to hear anything..my father tells me that “today you cry after the wedding you will be happy”…and that whether I wanted to or not I would get married… it hurt me a lot… and I don’t know what to do anymore they have already prepared everything…
Bismillah Subhanallah My first marriage at my 20s was my parent’s will… I had told them that it may be not a good one for me. But they insisted. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Allah helps me to get out of it through His way after 10 years marriage… But.. Still my parents insisted to keep going on.. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal At the end after another 15 years of marriage the divorce with hard and long struggle is really a blessing for me and my children (and I fight for it just by myself with Allah’s help and permission). Alhamdulillah
I just love ur article I just hope my parents understand this ….they don’t even know or ask what type partner I want I don’t I m so scared to even pick up this topic as they are hiding and searching for a groom for me…I m scared one day they will come up and say I have given word to that person you have to get married .. please pray for me …
Just passed high school and a proposal came for me. I’m pursuing my studies and have no plan for marriage now or anytime in the near 7-8 years. The thing that’s making me cry is my mother told me about this after discussing with the entire family and when I said no she said what do you mean by that. I don’t need to mean anything else by saying no. It’s my right that my God has given me!!!
I am battling from depression. My parents are fixing my marriage in overseas without my consent. And are blackmailing me. I have told them million times that I hve someone in my heart and mind. But they not listening. I might kill myself. Because I cant marry anyone else except the one I have in my life. Please make duaa for me.
My parents get me married to someone I did not want and even though when I married him it’ll change but it’s not changing sometimes he ask me for his right but I said no and this even make me get sin imagine staying with someone you don’t love just because you don’t want to disobey your parents but you didn’t never think about me
My friend was forced to marry her cousin.. she tried to hard to convince her parents but they have very backward thoughts that we have been thinking about your cousin for a long time bla bla.. even the cousin knew she liked someone eles .. everyone knew she didn’t want to marry him .. everyone in the family forced her to do so .. and now when the marriage is not working they are asking her to keep their dignity and respect and get on with this marriage.. such illiteracy still exists in this world
I am living the worst days of my life my father is the best in the world and whenever I talk to him I always feel that he loves me that he would do anything for his children but I am suffering a lot from my mother I have done many things for her and she knows I work 6 days a week to help them even I always keep none of my pay so that they don’t have to be left with nothing now I want to marry a girl who is Muslim we are from the same country the only thing we don’t speak the same language but for reasons of culture my mother does not want me to marry her but my father does but she says that they are something that we cannot marry them but then I have found out and it turns out that what my mother thinks they are not In principle now she should accept but she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t feel like it but now I’ve married her and my mother’s response is that she doesn’t want to know anything about me anymore that when she dies I shouldn’t visit her grave and many things so a mother should never tell her own son I’m suffering a lot now she doesn’t talk to me she ignores me she doesn’t want to talk to me
Assalamualaikum everyone. I am facing quite the similar problem in my life. My parents are worried that my marriage is being delayed due to my chubbiness and my height. And they ae refusing to accept the fact that my original body structure is like this. They want me to starve myself, intake different types of medicine just to make me skinny so that people like me. I believe Allah SWT knows what’s best for me and He has everything planned. But my parents are not accepting the fact and they expect me to get married to whoever they say and whoever agrees to marry me. Even if i choose a guy who makes me feel at peace and is a decent person, my parents will never agree cuz according to them I can’t choose nither have the right to give my opinion. I’m stuck in a very crucial situation, as the level bar set by my parents are really high. I really don’t know what to do or how to handle this situation. And in addition my father believes I shouldn’t have a say to anything he says for me, rather follow everything he says blindly. Would really appreciate if anyone can help me out. Thank you.
My sister nd my mom both agreed to lie to me …they arranged an old man bt I didn’t know they said the guy is young ….wen I found out he was old nd have 2 wives with kids ….my mum started pressuring me talking about our situation as a family how we are poor I agreed bt wen I saw the guy I refused …..finally I texted him I told him I dont want to marry u nd pls give me time to think about it am just 22 yes how can I just make a decision like that he ignored me …he started doing his own things bt I refused even though my mum said u will be cursed by the elders ur step brothers already hate u …al my other siblings abused me wlhi I have no one to talk to no boyfriend to bring home nd to marry instead of that guy …….pray for me guys am really scared of the curse
I whole issue of child marriage is the problem itself, doesn’t matter if it’s consented because minors can’t properly consent and is more likely to face abuse in marriage than anyone who’s 18 and above. Pedophilia is wrong in so many ways. Something behind Islamic doesn’t mean it’ll automatically be good, right or morally acceptable
Assalam o alaikum I’m seeking help in this regard please someone tell me, their was a marriage proposal which i rejected, because when i talked to groom our personalities didn’t match and thats why i said no, and basically imposed my decision because my parents were very satisfied with that proposal and they are saying i should have said yes because now society will say things. So am i a sinner?
Assalamu alaikum Mufti Menk.. I hope you and your family are doing good. I have been married to a guy but my parents don’t agree to the marriage and are forcing me to marry someone else just because the other person is earning more and his caste is Pathan. They even confined the man I’m in nikah with in my house and forced him to divorce me. I want to ask is the Talaq valid? If not then what should I do because my parents aren’t ready to understand…
Please answer me mufti Sahab….my father is forcing me … He even physically tourchered me and my mother…. Because I refuse to marry a man…. because he is munafiq….he shows himself a good Muslim but in actual he is totally in control of his nafs even his family is also the same…. At this stage I can’t do any thing except sabar….what should I do 😭😭😭😭😭
We put a lot of emphasis on Marriage and but some Scripture says it is better to Marry and then to burn in lust, and Hell Ghenna and it isn’t a requirement and unless you just want heirs and who know If that lineage will continue because many are not Marrying and many aren’t able to have children and some lifestyle choices. If I knew Allah as a child I would have not felt pressure from family to commit sin and have a child just to please others and who questioned why I have none. Allah forgave but the toll of sin remains a debt sometimes to be paid at length. Not everyone will meet or be introduced to the right person to whom we should Marry, and I’m starting to think we need to have educational programs on physiology and Communication skills and More like Cultural differences. I don’t believe in forced Marriage but they did have to give an account for whom the potential spouses are and family and it’s hard to get to know whom people really are. May Allah bless and guide all that wish to Marry and may people be able to give character references to whom a person is. Before Marriage.
My siblings OK with my decision…. But my mother and relatives nagging me….. 😑😑😑 they are like mosquitoes…. Sucks all good energy and making me feel bad…. It’s my life…. I’m gonna do whatever I like…. As long as Allah happy with me…. I’m fine… I really hate older generation… They ask uncessary questions… They talk too much..
my mom keeps telling me evryday to go marry someone, she says you eaten enough food in my house and you spend our money, you better go to your husband amd spend his money, she says this to me evryday im tired, hse says youll never get marriebdif you dont get married now im 21 by the way, i feel pressured i dk what to do
Hie m only 17 years old and they are fixing my marriage with sumbody just bcz they are financially stable and by 20 they will get me married Its just idont want to get married I want to study more Complete my studies its not like k m disobedient even islam also asks for one consent before dragging him or her forr marriage and at this age it is very disturbing my school gonna start from tomorrow I ain’t doing mentally well nor i can really focus on any thing .. they start comparing with other peopls bt hek nah its my life i want to live study .. do everything for my parents bt i can’t just sey yes even in islam its not right to force sumbody .. m very disturbed kindly y’all pray
Akhi Muslim parents still practiced that forced marriage stuff, and outta obedience some children agree to whatever their parents ask them do, you know what I am talking you a Muslim as well, it’s very common in the Ummah… But ya Muslim parents don’t overburden your children let them espouse who they want to espouse unless they don’t have Islam then categorically oppose it. If they don’t listen then know your fulfilled your parent’s role…
I had done my niakh in my parents pressure my valima is pending and i am suffering from deep heart that why should i do please suggest ne what can i do?? Please give me your valuable suggestions even i feel that much bad that sometimes i am doing miss behaviour with my parents before this i was very obey personality towards my parents. They fix first my nikah and afer trying to convenience me please please suggest me i want to come out from this situation.
My parents got me married forcefully and treated me the worst so that i don’t have a word to say no. In this all plan of destruction my uncles and Aunts participated and stayed silent even tho i asked for help. They all were cruel. They knew that my would be husband was a criminal but they got me married because they thought my age was passing to get married. Allah they gave me and my sister the worst time. We are scared till now. When my parents got to know that everyone knows that he is a criminal and liar, they decided to get me khula from the court. They never let me speak with the man instead got me married so that there will be no questions and answers. Now i am khulafied. I kept on insisting on one thing that i dont want to go to him and live with him or in his house in Pakistan till he applies a visa for me to get me where he lives and i could live with him but not his family. Without my consent they all decided to give me to his family whether he is out of country or he doesnt take me with him. But i asked help from Allah and in order to be truthful infront of other relatives they decided not to do Ruksati. It was 2 years ago,now they all are trying again to get me married to anyone at any time. They have hurt me and my sister a lot. They took away everything from us our souls are saddened now. Allah plz help us and show us mercy. Brother n sisters plz pray for us and our naseeb Sorry if its too long and disturbing These all years has been difficult for me And i am little emotional now.
Aslmkm all plz i need your help mujhe iska solution chahiye plzz koi meere help karega mai yaha Mere age 20 hai aur mere ghar wale mere zabardasti shadi karwa rahe hai mere engagement hogai hai aur 2 months ke baad mere shadi hai aur mere hone wale husband mujhse isliye shadi kar raha hai kyu ke uske maa ko ek bahu ke zarurat hai aur wo chahata hai ke shadi hone ke baad usko baby chahiye kyu ke uske maa ke ya khwaish hai usko koi fark nahi padta ke mai kya chate hu aur wo yr kehta hai ke sab planed hai bas uske ane ke dair hai ye sab ab mai majboor hu air mujhe abhe baby bhe nahi chahiye mai kya karu plzz koi batao
😭😭😭😢😢 pls my name is hajara my parent a forceing me to marry a man i dont want n my parent a cry but i dont they tell family they should Force me so will i do am 16 n the man is 40 going i dont like my heart dont bcos of that my fada beat why should i tell the man i dont want with His hands i will never for give them if force me marry him i havent seen he real he is germany n am in ghana man
So far all my children who chose life partner on their own are having miserable life. Children should must listen to their parents, as they have more experience on who is good for their child and who is not. Now a days, young boys are easily trapped by girls who first try to show them dream life and in reality make their life worse then hell!